


Catalyst of Fate

by OriginalAlcy



Series: The Fate Trilogy [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/F, Heavy Angst, Minor Character Death, No Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:04:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 261,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9180700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriginalAlcy/pseuds/OriginalAlcy
Summary: Commander Evan Shepard never asked to be brought back from the dead and she sure as hell didn't ask for the job of taking on the Reapers. The one thing she has asked for, she can't have.Mass Effect 3 redux with reflections on ME2. FemShep/Liara





	1. The Commander's Mantra

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Welcome to my Mass Effect 3 redux - a re-write of ME3 with a some key elements from ME2 thrown into the mix. Although it adheres to canon in some respects, it is not a strict re-telling of the game with elements of my own mythology.
> 
> There are dozens of well-crafted Shepards to be found, but this particular one is mine. I don't leave many Author's Notes so feel free to ping me any questions, comments etc. Otherwise, you're in for the long haul with this one and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-1**

' _Just breathe. Maintain control. Don't let the crew see how scared you are.'_

_If everything around her was going SNAFU and the odds stacked against her, the simple words helped her focus. They gave her an edge to carry her through where others would fail and die._

_After all, she was Commander Shepard – sole survivor of the slaughter of Alliance marines on Akuze and Hero of the fucking Citadel._

_This time her mission had been search and destroy – to eliminate the last vestiges of geth resistance. It seemed straightforward enough – if one could label the pursuit of a highly advanced A.I species straightforward. The problem was that they hadn't found the geth at all. Instead the SSV_ Normandy _had run into an alien ship possessing destructive potential greater than that of almost the entire galactic fleet. The proverbial shit and the fan had well and truly collided. In the midst of a colossal shitstorm the_ Normandy _was one ship, and the crew were having their asses handed to them. The Commander's mantra was stuck on repeat in her head._

 _There was no question about it. The_ Normandy _was dying._

_Shepard fought to stay on her feet as her ship took another glancing blow. The comm system was a chaotic blend of real and artificial voices overlapping to create a cacophony of sound. The automated warning system excelled at stating the obvious. As it advised of yet another system failing Shepard thought that it should just be reprogrammed to say 'you're all fucked.' At least that would be honest._

_The artificial, calm, controlled tone seemed out of place. "Structural integrity compromised on decks one, two..."_

Hardsuit on – check, _Shepard thought._ Helmet...where the fuck is my helmet?

" _Evan!"_

_The voice was not remotely artificial. It was loud and firm, and so familiar with its underlying tones of silk. Shepard spun to see her N7 helmet being offered to her. As her hand stretched out to take it, she met the intense blue-eyed gaze of Dr Liara T'Soni._

_Liara..._

_Just a split second later Shepard's free hand was clutching desperately at the back of the asari's slender neck, hastily drawing Liara close so she could claim her lips in a fierce kiss. The response was immediate and just as intense, accompanied by the barely audible sound of a whimper. Both human and asari clung to each other, preserving a  moment of sanity in the midst of chaos, of life in the midst of death._

_Shepard drew back only a fraction. "Get yourself to an escape pod, Doctor." Her lips brushed Liara's as she spoke. "I'll be right behind you."_

" _Where are you going?" Liara demanded, obviously determined not to be so easily shoved aside._

" _I need to get to Joker. The stupid bastard is trying to save a lost ship."_

" _Then I'm coming-"_

" _No!" Shepard growled, her voice deliberately harsh. She wrenched herself out of Liara's embrace and gave her a shove with the hand that had been caressing her half a minute earlier. "Go, Liara. That's an order! Your priority is to get these people to safety!"_ And yourself.

_For a moment Liara's eyes flashed with mutinous intent. It disappeared, replaced by a fierce determination. "Aye, aye, Commander." The formal response was anything but cold. The few words carried within them an undeniable passion._

_Holding onto Shepard's gaze, Liara pulled on her own helmet. Shepard soon followed suit. The stuffy N7 helmet locked into her hardsuit and provided her with the detachment she needed. Only moments later, the_ Normandy _was rocked by yet another explosion and Shepard was tossed like a ragdoll against a nearby bulkhead. Liara reeled and clutched at a still intact console to maintain her footing._

" _Evan!" she called out in a wretched voice._

" _Get the fuck out of here, Liara!"_

_With one last look at Shepard's emotionless mask, the asari turned and ran in the direction of a pair of wounded crewmembers struggling to move along the shattered, writhing corridor._

_A bitter thought crossed Shepard's mind as she watched Liara leave. She had forgotten to tell her how much she loved her. She shook off the thought. There would be time later. After all, she'd be in the escape pod right behind her._

_Several crewmembers passed her in the ruined corridor. They were haggard and bloody but capable of making their own way to the pods. Even more so after she yelled herself hoarse, telling them to get their asses moving or they would answer to her after all of this was over. It was too late for the next crewmember Shepard came across. He lay in a twisted, mangled parody of himself – obviously having caught the full force of an explosion. Even as she ran past him she recognised him as one of the shuttle pilots, the young blonde one who was always grinning. She couldn't remember his name._

_When she found Joker still in his chair, she was only partially grateful to find him alive. Mostly she wanted to strangle the foolish bastard. His deft fingers flew across the haptic interface in a futile effort to try and save the_ Normandy _._

" _She's lost, Joker!" Shepard found herself yelling directly in her pilot's ear when he didn't acknowledge her presence._

_His eyes didn't waiver from the display. "No! I can save her!"_

_She responded by seizing his arm roughly and using her entire body weight to leverage him out of his seat. He protested, still trying to punch last-ditch commands into the rapidly failing systems._

" _We're leaving!" she heaved again, struggling against a deadweight that did not want to be moved._

_Finally she felt a shift in his body. Joker's expression changed from one of determination to despair._

" _I'm coming, Commander."_

 _Although Joker could easily walk unaided, his shuffling gait was not fast enough to dispel Shepard's fear that the_ Normandy _would break up completely before they made it to one of the remaining pods. Her mood wasn't helped as a  conduit blew out to one side, showering them both in red hot sparks and shrapnel._

Don't let the crew see how scared you are. Fuck it, I'm fucking scared!

 _She felt the_ Normandy _shudder beneath her thick-soled boots in yet another death rattle. Although her heart thumped rapidly and her breath sounded hoarse and loud in her helmet, Shepard felt as though she was holding her breath. Her head felt light, almost giddy as she and Joker made the agonising journey to safety. Having come to his senses, Joker was shuffling in an awkward but fast trot, no doubt in some pain with the movement. He knew as well as his commander that their ship was been torn apart beneath the hammer-like blows of the colossal alien ship._

_The escape pod lay within reach. Shepard propelled Joker forward with a shove in the middle of his back. She was just a few steps away when the bulkhead behind her blew outwards with a tearing of metal. The sudden loss of pressure was enough to dislodge the magnetic soles of her boots from the deck. There was time for a last, desperate grab at something solid before she followed the debris into space. Joker was strapping himself in and gesturing at her wildly. He was also yelling, but there was no way she could hear him._

_The vacuum surrounding her was beckoning with irresistible force. Shepard slowly lost her grip on the ship's superstructure. There was the sickening realisation that she wouldn't make it to the pod. As though caught in a biotic pull, she was drawn away._

_Joker was safe, but her day was becoming worse by the second. This was going to be a great story to tell the kids._

_The peace of drifting free was suddenly split apart by flame and force. It slammed against her like the shockwave of a grenade in the midst of a fire fight. Her vision faded to black._

_Tiny pinpricks of light appeared at the corners of her vision. The very edges of reality. Needle like sensations continued as Shepard tried to focus. It intensified to a sharp, stabbing pain in her head. Her helmet's display was flashing a warning message. Her hardsuit was compromised and it was venting O2. Driven back to full awareness she clutched behind her in a futile effort - more of an instinctive gesture than an attempt to repair something._

Shit, I'm going to die...

_That thought had crossed Shepard's mind more than once in her twenty-nine years. As a newly promoted Gunnery Chief, she'd watched a hive of thresher maws decimate her entire unit on Akuze. It had taken the maws mere hours to carve their way through fifty experienced marines - some of the finest the Alliance had to offer. The screams and the stench of death on that day had been overwhelming. Although she did not die that day, she always believed that her death would come amidst similar screams. Amidst similar stenches._

_Her lungs burned as she strained to draw in non-existent oxygen. There was nothing. It was the end. With this certainty Shepard was able to call bullshit on whatever asshole had claimed that you saw your life flash before your eyes just before dying. Everything was forgotten in those last moments of her life, everything save for a few flashes of a lithe blue body entwined with her own and a pair of luminous blue eyes. The planet below her loomed large, mirrored in her helmet's visor, but she could no longer see it._

It's not fucking fair, not now I've got something to live for. I didn't try hard enough...I've failed...Liara...

* * *

 

**Defence Headquarters, Vancouver, Earth**

She was suffocating. Something covered her face. A weight pressed down on her chest. Each breath came in a constricted gasp within vice-like lungs. She fought against whatever held her, striking out with her fists and thrashing her legs around. A few moments later she emerged, panting, from a tangle of bed coverings. The offending linen was tossed to the floor as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood. Her naked body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as though she had been working out instead of trying to sleep. Her bare feet padded across the floor of her tiny apartment. Sensors picked up her movements and harsh fluorescent lighting assaulted her eyes. It wasn't until she fumbled her way to the bathroom and splashed liberal amounts of cool water on her face that she could see properly.

Evan Shepard stared at the wet face in the mirror.

It wasn't as though she didn't recognise the woman she saw. Cerberus had done a damned good job of rebuilding the charred, barely human corpse that had been recovered from Alchera. Everything - from the steely blue of her eyes, the black hair cropped in messy layers that fell on her cheeks, to her pale skin and slightly hawkish nose - had been rebuilt.

However it wasn't really her.

This fact was brought into stark reality by the glowing orange scars that creased both cheeks and just above her right eye. Rest or advanced medical treatment had the potential to heal them completely but she didn't have the time or patience for the former and dismissed the second as a waste of resources. Shepard didn't give a fuck whether the scars made her unattractive or unapproachable – diplomacy had never been her specialty.

The thought of trying to appear attractive to anyone brought a self-deprecating smile to her face. Shepard remembered being told she was attractive. However her own thoughts on the subject were ambivalent. There had never been a shortage of women who wanted to sleep with the old Shepard, so it was largely irrelevant. _Something_ about her was attractive, and that was all she gave a damn about. That Shepard had only cared about two things - the Marine Corps and women. It was a state of affairs that had satisfied her immensely. At least until all rationality and reason were driven away by a certain asari researcher.

Shepard dragged on a bathrobe and slumped into the chair in front of her terminal. The screen stared back at her, waiting expectantly for a message she couldn't write. What exactly was a person supposed to say to the Shadow Broker? _'Dear Liara'…no...too formal…'Hey Liara'?_ With a current of frustration simmering under her skin, Shepard typed out a simple, ' _Liara.'_ She stared bitterly at the name at the top of the screen while drumming her fingers on the desk in a repetitive rhythm. _'I know it has been a while but I'm sorry.'_ Shepard winced and quickly deleted the sentence. She started a fresh sentence. _'We didn't part on the best of terms but...'_

"That's an understatement," Shepard muttered under her breath as she continued slowly, trying to consider her words. _'I'd really appreciate the chance to talk.'_ "Fuck, who says that?"

After a few moments she stabbed her finger on the console and hit delete once again. Suddenly began typing in sharp, staccato bursts,

' _Why the fuck should I have to apologise to you? I'm not the one who suddenly became all self-righteous. I'm the one who died remember, Liara? So fuck you. If you don't want to see me again then that suits me fine!'_

When she reflected on what she had typed Shepard was able to see exactly how juvenile she sounded. Like a sixteen year old who had fallen out with a friend as opposed to a thirty-one year old adult. With one command, she erased the entire message before pushing her chair away from the desk.

Shepard rubbed her temples with the pads of her fingers. Her head was a foggy mess. Nothing had been right since the Alliance, in all its wisdom, had seen fit to take the _Normandy_ away from her and ground her pending an inquiry into the mess in the Bahak system.

It wasn't only the indignity and disgrace of being relieved of duty but the sheer inactivity of sitting on her ass with nothing to do. While the Reapers were poised to bring true meaning to the words 'hell on earth,' she was mooning about composing messages to an ex-girlfriend.

For someone who loathed self-reflection, Shepard had too much time on her hands to mull over everything that had happened to her over the past three years. Eden Prime, Therum, Virmire, defeating Saren, dying, and everything in between – it was enough to fill several lifetimes. Shepard was only on her second.

Half an hour later, Shepard was able to momentarily able to concentrate on something else as she threw her towel to one side and dived headfirst into the cool water of the station's swimming pool. One way of maintaining sanity was to make full use of the few facilities she had access to. Her once new swimsuit was now well-worn. In lap after lap of repetitive movement, the water became her entire world. Stroke, stroke, stroke…breathe. Stroke, stroke, stroke…breathe. Unfortunately the simple rhythm eventually invited unbidden thoughts of the kind she had been struggling to ignore. The blue hues of the pool brought to mind Liara's skin and the way it felt beneath her vision was assaulted by vivid memories – from their first tender, almost sombre lovemaking en route to Ilos, to the frequent fucking during the weeks following their victory over Sovereign. In that short time, Shepard felt as though she had spent a lifetime with her lover – mostly due to the intensity of the asari melding process. Her brief relationship with Liara had meant more to her than anything that had come before – or since. Then death had inconveniently come between them. Nothing had been the same since.

Shepard reached the end of another lap and ducked downwards in an underwater turn. She slapped the end of the pool with her feet with all the force she could muster. She increased her stroke rate, driving forward as fast as she was able. It worked, and the memory of Liara's blue skin was lost. As she turned her head to breathe, she became aware of someone calling her name.

"Hey, Shepard!" It was a familiar, female voice. "Skipper!"

She already knew who it was and ignored them until she finished her length. Her hand slapped the end and she stood up, her chest heaving with each rapid breath. When she pulled off her goggles, she looked up to see Ashley Williams kneeling at the side of the pool. Her former squadmate wore a casual officer's uniform. Shepard immediately picked up something new.

"Who was the genius who promoted you, Williams?" she asked, seeing the lieutenant-commander's insignia on Ashley's shoulders.

"Obviously not the same genius that strung you up, Skipper," Ashley replied, holding out her hand to Shepard in an offer of assistance.

Once out of the pool, a dripping wet Shepard retrieved her towel. Ashley followed her with her arms folded across her chest. Shepard pressed the soft material against her face, grateful for a few moments to shake off the emotions she felt at seeing the young woman. "You know full well I've been stripped of rank. It's just plain Shepard."

"You think I give a damn about some regulation?" Ashley replied. She sounded slightly insulted. "You're Commander Shepard. Although you look as though you've forgotten it. You look like shit."

Ashley's tone hovered between concern and accusation – as though Shepard was falling short of the standards expected of an Alliance officer. Her gaze raked Shepard up and down while she towelled off. "And I don't just mean that freaky tech that Cerberus pumped into your body. You look tired and as though you haven't had a decent meal in weeks."

"Yeah well, it turns out that being grounded and having your ship taken away isn't exactly conducive to a healthy appetite," Shepard responded, giving her hair a cursory fluff with the towel.

She tossed the towel over her shoulder and considered the woman standing in front of her. They'd fought some tough battles together. The sole reason that the former Gunnery-Chief was standing in front of her was because she'd made the heart-wrenching, split-second decision to save Ashley over Kaidan Alenko on Virmire. Shepard still couldn't explain her rationale behind the decision. Alenko had been the senior officer, a seasoned biotic. Yet she'd chosen Williams - a headstrong young marine with whom she'd frequently clashed.

The last time they'd spoke, an encounter in the aftermath of a mission on Horizon, Ashley had made her feelings about Shepard working with Cerberus clear. Garrus Vakarian had to separate them when their heated exchange almost descended into physical violence. That meeting was clearly on both their minds as they sized each other up. The Lieutenant-Commander standing in her crisp Alliance. The damp woman wearing nothing other than a swimsuit, but still managing to look every inch the soldier that she was.

Ashley broke the silence. "Look, Skipper…on Horizon…I was angry when I saw you with Cerberus. I thought you'd turned your back on the Alliance. I may have said a few things-"

Shepard silenced Ashley with a wave of her hand. "Forget it-"

"Let me finish," Ashley continued. "I hate Cerberus…and I hated you for working with them, but I hate myself more for abandoning you when you needed me. I should have been with you when you went through the Omega-4 relay." The marine managed a small smile. "God knows you can't shoot worth a damn."

"You know what I always say, you throw enough bullets at them one's bound to hit." Shepard held out her hand in a conciliatory gesture.

Instead of shaking the hand, Ashley grasped it and pulled Shepard into her body.. The embrace was brief and awkward. When they stepped apart, Shepard grinned at the damp patch her wet body had made on Ashley's uniform.

"I would suggest a stroll along the river to Fratelli's for their eggs benedict, but I'm guessing that doesn't fit with your current situation."

"Don't torture me, Williams. Breakfast is usually an unidentified plastic-wrapped substance in my quarters."

"The officer's mess then? If anyone has an issue with that, they can take it up with me."

Shepard managed a half-hearted smile even though the thought of showing her face in the mess filled her with dread. "Sure thing. Give me ten minutes to make myself presentable."

With Ashley going on ahead to meet her at the officer's mess, Shepard returned to her quarters to shower and get dressed. She did her best to dispel the dread. After all, it was just breakfast with a fellow marine. A friend.

Clad in the casual uniform of an Alliance soldier with no rank insignia, Shepard made her way down to the officer's mess. It was peak breakfast time for the rest of the personnel on the base. Most of the tables were occupied. Young desk officers on their first posting out of the Academy or old salts sitting in small clusters together.  Ashley Williams was easy enough to spot. The Lieutenant-Commander was standing at the head of the loudest table in the room. The men and women she was talking to weren't desk jockeys; they were bona fide space marines – although still fairly green by their manners. Shepard knew better than most that combat experience wasn't something that could be taught in the classroom. It had to be experienced the hard way. The slow learners didn't make it out.

Drawing in a small breath, Shepard started across the room. She felt eyes on her as she made her way through the chairs and around tables. Her arrival beside Ashley was announced by the sudden silence of the group in front of her. Their mouths stopped moving, they stopped eating and, to a man, they stared up at Shepard. Some were in awe. After all, Shepard had been a war hero even before becoming the first human Spectre. Before her career had really even started she'd been sole survivor from a unit of fifty good, tough marines on Akuze. Medals and rising quickly through the ranks had followed, but none of it had ever drowned out the screams of those marines when they died. Then there was the fact that she'd died and been brought back to life – her glowing scars were bound to be the show stopper at any party. They were judging her on what little scraps of scuttlebutt they'd heard about Bahak – no doubt most had discussed whether they thought Commander Evangeline Shepard, Alliance hero, could really have caused the deaths of 300,000 colonists. There were some that would refuse to believe she'd be capable of anything so horrific. There would be others that knew better. Commander Shepard had a reputation for getting things done, no matter the cost. If 300,000 dead Batarians were the cost of keeping the galaxy safe, then she'd pay it willingly.

"Shepard!" Ashley slapped her on the back with a warm grin. She turned to the six men and women at the table. "I'd like to introduce you losers to Commander Shepard."

One young man stood and saluted smartly. "Second Lieutenant Grayling, ma'am. It's a pleasure!"

"Still down Grayling, you ass," Ashley said playfully. She looked at Shepard but inclined her head towards the table of officers. "I had the dubious task of taking these FNGs through part of their OCS training at Fort Charles Upham a year ago. Kinda scary to see that they've been let loose on the world…but makes me proud at the same time."

Shepard found herself nodding and smiling but all she could really see were the pairs of eyes looking at her. Grayling still appeared ready to follow her to the depths of hell and back, while one young, red-haired woman was eyeing her through narrow eyes as though she had already been tried and found guilty.

"Will you both join us?" another officer asked expectantly.

There was a scramble to drag two additional chairs across from other tables, including one that was swiped while its occupant merely stood to reach the salt. Loud, carefree laughter followed his eventual embarrassment when he went to sit back down. One of his buddies helped him up and he whirled on the culprits with clenched fists. However, upon seeing Shepard and Williams, he turned red and went to find another chair.

Shepard fought the urge to rub her temples as the noise of voices and laughter grated. It was worse than normal, to the point where it was uncomfortable. The redhead woman was whispering something to the marine next to her. It was ridiculous for Shepard to speculate that it was gossip about her but they both glanced her way and looked away guiltily when their eyes met. As Ashley went to sit down, she unconsciously started backing away from the table. When she became aware of what she was doing, she spun on her heels and started walking on the direction of the exit. The doors were sliding open when she felt a hand grasp her arm and stop her in her tracks.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

It was only with Ashley's gaze on her that Shepard realised her eyes were stinging. She gritted her teeth helplessly. _This is not happening_ , she thought angrily. _I am not fucking crying in front of Ash and half the fucking Alliance Navy._

"Shit…Shepard," Ashley said hesitantly. It was clear she didn't know what to say. "It's just a farce you know, the Defence Council will eventually see reason and reinstate you back to active duty. They'll find another scapegoat-"

"It's not that, Williams…well, partially. I mean, it's the reason that I'm cooped up here with more time on my hands than any self-respecting soldier should have, but there's a lot on my mind," Shepard tried to keep her voice casual. "Hey, I think I'll eat in my quarters. You go eat with your marines, I'm sure they'll love the opportunity to catch up with you. We can do food another time. Maybe a drink when I get out of this mess?"

Ashley frowned but looked over her shoulder at the raucous table of young marines with a fond smile on her face. When she turned back to Shepard it was just a formality. "Are you sure, because I can ditch these guys?"

Shepard couldn't think of anything she would enjoy less than sitting down and trying to talk through the things on her mind – especially with someone as blunt as Ashley.

"Yeah, Ash. Tell them the great Shepard has a fucking, god-awful headache."

"Okay. I'll see you soon, Skipper," Ashley promised with the honesty evident in her voice. The tough marine even reached out to pat her awkwardly on the arm.

Shepard managed a smile. "I'm sure as hell not going anywhere."


	2. Formulaic Asari Bullshit

**_SSV_ ** **El Alamein**

_It was a scene of unadulterated chaos. The mess hall of the SSV_ El Alamein _had been hastily converted into triage unit to cope with the wounded and dying personnel from its fellow alliance frigate, the SSV_ Normandy _. Medical Technician Glen Patten entered the room at a run, his arms laden with every remaining application of medi-gel his ship held. Patten stared at the tables that usually held food and steaming hot coffee, instead burdened with the weight of human bodies._

_The_ El Alamein _was his first posting. Until today, the worst injury he'd had to deal with was third-degree burns on an arm burnt by a plasma discharge. Now the burnt flesh was so terrible he could smell it in the air, clogging his nostrils and almost making him gag._

" _Patten!"_

_The young technician was stopped in his tracks, too paralysed to go further into the room._

" _Patten! For god's sake!"_

_His head cleared and he tracked down the source of his name. His superior officer, Major Leonov, was gesturing angrily at him from a nearby table where he was trying to hold down a struggling marine._

" _I need help. Now!" Leonov demanded, holding out his hand while at the same time trying to maintain his grip on his patient._

_Patten's arms were full. He panicked as he realised he couldn't help without dropping his armload of supplies. Leonov turned to see what was holding him up and he let out an angry growl._

" _Dump the fucking stuff on the ground and give us a hand!"_

_Switching onto auto-pilot, Patten let the medi-gel fall and handed one to Dr Leonov as he moved to the table. The marine lying on the table looked up at Patten as he moved to help hold him down, his eyes were wide with fright._

" _Don't let me die," he moaned in an anguished voice._

_Patten was about to make some reassuring reply when he made the mistake of glancing down at the bloody mess that was the man's chest and abdomen. A chunk of metal, several inches wide was protruding from the centre of his stomach. Blood was pouring out of the wound at a rate that Patten didn't think was possible. Although his mouth was open, the reassuring words died on his lips._

" _You are not going to die, marine."_

_Someone else said it when he could not. Patten hadn't even noticed the second person helping the_ El Alamein's _doctor. When he looked up he found himself faced with the unexpected sight of an asari, her blue eyes lit with fierce determination. The front of her hardsuit was covered in blood, as were her gloveless hands. She nodded once towards him and Patten found himself replying with a strangely composed nod of his own. He felt ashamed that he had panicked initially. The patient suddenly slackened beneath his touch. Patten looked down to see that the young soldier's eyes were wide and unmoving._

" _Shit!" Leonov cursed. "He's crashed!"_

_For the next ten minutes the three of them battled to bring life back into the marine's body and keep it there. However when he arrested for the second time, Dr Leonov finally declared that they could help him no longer. There were other patients that could still be saved._

_As he followed his superior away from the dead man, Patten looked over his shoulder to the asari. She was not following them, instead she was looking slightly dazed now that she no longer had anything to focus on. Then she turned and made her way out of the mess hall, lost to Patten's view._

_Dr Liara T'Soni knew that she was turning her back on fellow crew members who still needed help, but she doubted whether the little human medical knowledge she did possess was going to save any lives. As she passed several stretchers being carried into the mess hall, the only reason Liara looked at each was to confirm that the wounded crewmembers were not Shepard. Her unusually self-centred actions drove her onwards, past Dr Chakwas as she was struggling to help the wounded Engineer Adams on her own. She pushed her way into the elevator which was returning to the docking bay with empty stretchers. The entire ride downwards she found herself impatiently willing it to move faster. When she closed her eyes for a few moments all she could see was the_ Normandy _exploding violently while she looked on from the viewing portal of her escape pod. Liara opened her eyes and set her jaw determinedly. The thought of Shepard still being on board -_

_No, there was no way._

_The blood of the dead marine was starting to dry on her hands when Liara emerged from the elevator and grabbed a nearby crewmember who was coming up from the_ El Alamein's _docking bay. The tired ensign looked ready to fall over at any moment but he waited patiently for her question._

" _How many of the pods have been recovered?"_

" _All of them," he replied in an exhausted voice. "They just brought the last one on board about five minutes ago."_

" _The last one?"_

" _Yeah, down there," he said as he gave a vague nod downwards into the space which was littered with a dozen or so empty escape pods._

_Without pausing to thank him, Liara hit the stairs at a run. She took two stairs at a time in her haste. While most of the personnel moving about were from the_ El Alamein _, she passed a few_ Normandy _crew members who were doing their best to assist. Nowhere did she see the charcoal coloured N7 hardsuit with its distinctive red stripe._

" _Hands off me, I can walk by myself!"_

_Liara paused at the sound of the familiar voice. Joker._ Normandy's _pilot sounded angry and frustrated as he protested against being treated as helpless. Liara's heart was stuck in her throat as she ran, dodging through the debris in the docking bay that lay between her and potential answers. She rounded one last escape pod and Joker was the first person she saw, weakly shoving aside a medical technician who was trying to help him onto a stretcher. Both his bare arms were covered in flash burns._

" _I don't need to get onto that thing!" he protested._

_As he spun away from grasping hands he looked up and met Liara's gaze as she ran towards him. The passage of time changed immediately. Although only seconds passed in reality, a myriad of actions and emotions were condensed into that small amount of time. Joker's body suddenly went limp as he stopped resisting those who were trying to help him. He slumped like a deadweight in their arms as they were finally able to tend to his burns. However it was as though no one else was there. Not so much as a wince crossed his face as they applied medi-gel. Liara's legs had stopped moving as soon as she saw Joker's expression. Written plainly across his devastated features was all she needed to know. Moments later her legs could no longer support her. A limp hand flopped out in a vain gesture to grab something to keep herself upright. She felt only air sliding through her fingers. Everything was out of reach, just like her last few moments with Shepard. The greaves of her hardsuit hit the deck with a loud clang. It was as though some foul wind had swooped down on her and drained every thought from her mind save one. There was nothing else left, not Joker's anguished face or the crewmember running to her side._

" _Are you alright?_

_Upon reaching her, the man had immediately reached out and gently touched her arm but she could neither see nor hear him._

" _Ma'am?"_

" _Just give her some space."_

_A different voice. Its familiar tones cracked the shell that Liara's mind had constructed. There hadn't been time for her to notice Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams in the docking bay. Williams was at her side now, drawing away the concerned crewmember and nodding that she had things under control. Gradually Liara was able to focus and she saw Ashley hunker down beside her. The marine's usually stoic expression wavered, her face ashen._

_Her bottom lip quivered when she opened her mouth to speak. "Liara…the Skipper, Shepard…she…"Ashley had to draw in a breath before she could continue. "She didn't make it-"_

"I...how? _" Liara heard a voice she thought was her own. "No...I do not want to know how." Not yet._

_Everything felt heavy – her head on her shoulders, a weight pressing down on her entire body. She slumped forward as though slowly being crushed into the deck._

_The death of a partner was a life-event the long-lived asari were supposed to be mentally prepared for. In her culture, it was accepted that you had to maximise the short-time you had with someone, cherishing the memories when they were gone. Now all Liara thought about the weeks when she had done nothing but watch Shepard, study her in a misguided attempt to become closer to the fascinating human. She would never get that time back. Thinking about such regrets was too much on top of the thoughts already running through her mind. Despite having asked Ashley not to tell her, she found herself wanting to know how her commander died. If only so she could feel even more pain. However she soon lost that thought and all the others._

_Shepard is dead…_

_It was all that remained._

" _Evan." Her voice was cracked and hollow._

_When Liara dumbly felt the unyielding hardsuit of Ashley Williams pressed awkwardly against her own, she realised her cheeks were wet with tears. She slumped forward, her face pressed against the cold ceramic-plating covering the Gunnery Chief's shoulder, and cried._

* * *

 

**Prothean Archives, Mars Station**

"Penny for your thoughts, Doctor?"

Dr Liara T'Soni looked up from the console in front of her. When she continued seeing the interface even though she was staring at someone's face, she realised that she was overdue for a break. She blinked a few times to clear the illusion and eventually saw Cesar Mendoza, one of her assistants, looking towards her expectantly.

"Excuse me?" Liara asked, she'd heard the question but it made very little sense to her.

Mendoza's youthful face crinkled into a wince as he realised what he'd said. "Sorry, it's an old human saying. Um...just asking what you were thinking about. Actually, I was just being nosey."

Liara inclined her head kindly, seeking to alleviate his embarrassment. She then pushed back the chair, closed her aching eyes and tilted her neck. First to one side and then the other. There was a slight click as something went back into its rightful place. When she opened her eyes she caught Mendoza staring at her with his mouth parted slightly. The awkward moment only lasted for a split second - the time it took for Mendoza to react. He was suddenly staring very intently at the data on the console by her elbow.

She let the moment slide, pretending as though she hadn't noticed. Being the sole asari at the station meant that she was warmly welcomed, but also politely avoided. The scientists and researchers at the station tended to be sheltered, unworldly types, many of whom were still swayed by the misconceptions about asari promiscuity. Although she had only caught brief snatches of conversation when walking into a room, she was sure that there was some sort of wager running regarding the lucky person that would get to experience this promiscuity firsthand. Their antics were easy to ignore. She preferred being alone so remaining aloof and avoiding conversation did not overly worry her.

Then there were the staff genuinely in awe of her in terms of her contribution to Prothean research. They knew her work, even the obscure papers she'd written that were ignored in the hallowed educational institutions on Thessia. Their eager questions were sometimes a welcome distraction, but more often a source of discomfort.

Mendoza was the only human she had spent any length of time with. The young man was fairly harmless save for a tendency to unconsciously stare at her. He was a good researcher, pedantic and obsessed with tiny details – traits which made him a valuable asset in her work.

Liara sighed. It was work that was currently not going very well. Almost a month had passed since she'd arrived on Mars. A month spent wading through uncatalogued Prothean data, with no markers, no signposts leading the way to the information she needed. It was a task made all the more difficult by the fact that she didn't know what she was even searching for.

Her stomach then rumbled insistently and Liara tried to remember when she had last eaten. It had been several hours at least, and she had a vague thought that she may had skipped breakfast altogether in order to start work. Still, the particular data cache she was currently working on looked promising. She keyed in a command and began analysing it. Preliminary results indicated that she had come across designs for something. It was a worth a look at the very least. Still, it could just as easily be nothing at all. Another angry growl emerged from her stomach, this one almost painful. She rose to her feet reluctantly, her stiff body protesting at the movement.

"Cesar, I am going to the mess hall. Can you keep an eye on this analysis for me?" she asked the researcher. "Can you flag anything that looks remotely promising? I will not be more than fifteen minutes."

"Of course, Dr T'Soni," he said with an eager nod.

"Would you like me to bring you back anything?" she asked as she paused in the doorway.

He shook his head shyly, as though the thought of asking Dr T'Soni to fetch something for him was out of the question. "Oh…no thank-you, Dr T'Soni. I'll be here when you get back."

Liara nodded and left the small room in which she had spent too much of her time. As she made her way through several of the twisting corridors towards the mess hall she passed many of the archivists. Everyone she passed greeted her by name but most she knew only by sight.

She couldn't deny that it was difficult for her to be around so many humans. Life on board the _Normandy_ had been made easier by Shepard's presence. Even before they became lovers, Shepard had a lot of time for her, patiently explaining decisions or actions that didn't make sense by asari customs.

The smell of the mess hall greeted her before she arrived, but along with the pungent, not entirely pleasant smell of human food, Liara felt an unmistakable chill run down her spine. She rounded another corner and almost ran into the another visiting researcher - Dr Eva Coré. The strange woman had arrived a few weeks after Liara, handing her credentials over to the Chief Archivist before disappearing into her own research. So far she and Liara had exchanged only basic pleasantries, encounters which hadn't felt pleasant at all. The well-sculpted human was cold and single-mindedly focused on her work. If Liara didn't think it so ridiculous, she could have sworn the woman thought they were in some sort of competition. Not that Liara knew anything about Coré's work. Liara considered herself an expert on all things Prothean, and she had not encountered so much as a single paper by anyone named Coré. 

"Dr T'Soni," the woman said, staring straight ahead as she did so.

"Dr Coré," Liara replied and watched her go past from the corner of her eye.

The woman was odd, but so were many scientists and researchers. Liara dismissed the chill she had felt and continued into the mess hall. It was an odd time of the day for humans to eat and Liara found the spacious room largely deserted save for a pair of scientists that she had met her first day on Mars. Drs Hayden Holt and Gemma Dawes waved her over as soon as she had collected a tray of the unidentified substance that was all that was on offer.

"Dr T'Soni," Dawes said with a friendly smile. "How's business?"

Liara hardly thought of research as 'business' but she had heard the phrase used on the _Normandy_ a great deal. She nodded with a polite smile. "Fine thank you – although I do not feel as though I am accomplishing a great deal."

"Well, we're very happy to help anyway we can," Dr Holt spoke up, his mouth full of the same stuff that Liara was currently pushing around on her plate. "I hope Mendoza isn't giving you any trouble?"

"None whatsoever," Liara was quick to reply. "He has been very professional and quite useful."

She tentatively took a small bite of the food and was pleased to find it just as tasteless as it looked. It was far easier to eat human food when it didn't assault her tastebuds. Viewed simply as fuel, she could eat almost anything. Especially after years on remote dig sites spent eating packaged meals designed for maximum nutrition with no regard for taste.

"Can't say the same for that Coré woman," Holt was muttering. "Did you hear what she said to Raj yesterday, Gem?"

Dawes shook her head as she took a deep gulp of coffee. However her keen eyes indicated that she wanted to know the gossip.

"Said that if Raj touched her PAD one more time, she'd break all his fingers!" Holt explained. "Poor guy couldn't even explain that she'd put the damn thing down on his workspace and he was just moving it."

"Bitch," was Dawes' eloquent reply. "I've never met a researcher so cagey about what they were actually researching...and we get a lot of military types here. As far as I can tell, she's just some jumped up civilian looking for some new angle that no one else has found yet. Probably hoping to make her mark."

Liara remained tactfully silent. Although she didn't like the woman, sharing her opinions to a pair she hardly knew wasn't her style. After a few more choice words describing Dr Coré, Holt looked across at her expectantly.

"Have you come across her work, Dr T'Soni?"

She responded to Dr Holt with just a slight shake of her head. "Although I have to admit, I have been out of the academic world for some months and am not familiar with any recent work."

Holt and Dawes nodded in unison. They continued to eat in silence for another minute. Liara tried to eat as quickly as possible without seeming as though she were hurrying. A part of her sensed that the two scientists were eager to ask further questions. While everyone knew she had been aboard the SSV _Normandy_ when it was destroyed by the Collector vessel, no one had dared to ask her anything about her experience.

"It was tragic what happened to the _Normandy_ , Dr T'Soni," Dawes finally ventured in a sympathetic tone. "Commander Shepard in particular. It must have been difficult for the surviving crew to accept the death of such a leader. I have no idea what you must have been feeling when you found out that she was back from the dead."

Holt nodded in agreement. He turned to Liara. "Do you know the Commander well?"

Liara swallowed awkwardly. Only a few key crewmembers aboard the _Normandy_ knew about her relationship with Commander Shepard and it had remained that way. Even those few sailors aboard the SSV _El Alamein_ who had witnessed her breaking down upon learning of Shepard's fate had the decency not to speak to any galactic news outlets. "I-I...the Commander and I...were good friends, but our paths do not cross often these days."

"She's got herself in a right mess now. It was all over the news that business in the Bahak system. All those Batarian colonists," said Holt, shaking his head. "It seems ridiculous to ever consider that someone like Shepard would have caused that."

"Yet she's going to be tried for it all the same...will probably be all over the news feed. They're always hungry for a good witch hunt," Dawes added almost eagerly.

There was a lump in Liara's throat. She thought of Shepard being confined to some Alliance station somewhere and knew it would be driving her crazy. Stripped of her command and imprisoned. How could the Alliance have done that to the woman who repelled the Collector's with just one ship and a small team? Liara let her spoon fall to the tray, how could she – someone who claimed to have loved Shepard – have turned her back on her so easily?

_But Evan turned her back on me_ , Liara thought – it was something she told herself often. A justification of sorts. _Not the other way around._

She slowly but deliberately pushed back her chair and picked up her tray. The food she had eaten sat like a stone lump in her gut. "If you will both excuse me."

"You had to bring up the _Normandy_!" Liara heard Holt hiss angrily at Dawes when he thought she was out of earshot.

"Well, you brought up that bloody business about Commander Shepard and the Batarians!" Dawes fired back.

Liara exited the mess hall before she inadvertently overheard anymore of the scientists' conversations. She didn't loathe them for their poor taste in questions, but she wished to be able to answer them without feeling the same, hollow emptiness inside each time she spoke about Shepard. She'd barely made it away from the mess hall when she found herself seeking out the relative solitude of a small nook in the corridor piled with junk. One of the containers offered a place to sit and she sank down. Almost instinctively Liara reached into the neck of her jacket and tugged on a slender chain. Shepard's dog tags made a small clink as they emerged. She held them in her palm and slowly ran the pad of her thumb over the embossed lettering - _Cdr._ _E. H. Shepard. AMC. 5923-AC-2826._

Liara closed her eyes and brought to mind the face she knew so intimately – she lingered over the pale blue eyes that were equally capable of being both chillingly cold and so very warm. Then the perfect pair of lips, neither too full nor too thin. She loved listening to Shepard speak in that strong, confident tone of hers. It was both reassuring and as sexy as hell. It had been years ago, but in her mind she heard Shepard asking the question as clearly as if it had been yesterday, _"You asari live for a thousand years. What happens when your partner dies?"_

Just as clearly, Liara remembered her own, immediate response. Formulaic asari bullshit.

_Philosophical approach my arse_ , Liara thought, channelling her ex-lover for a moment.

She now knew the correct answer to Shepard's question. It had very little to do with cherishing memories. In the two years that followed her lover's death she'd run a gamut of emotions, from despair to anger. She'd been on her way towards spending years, if not decades, in total isolation when Ashley Williams tracked her down weeks after the _Normandy's_ demise. Ashley's style was neither tactful nor gentle as she bullied her into admitting that what she was doing was the very opposite of what Shepard would have wanted for her. In hindsight Liara was grateful. Her squadmate's words had set her on the path of tracking down Shepard's body. With single minded determination she'd become someone she didn't know – threatening, killing and ultimately handing the corpse over to the devil himself. It had only ever been a faint hope that Cerberus' would actually be able to accomplish its lofty goals.

Some part of her still regretted that decision. Shepard had been dead, resting in whatever afterlife the humans believed. However the selfish part of her desperately wanted...needed Shepard back.

"Dr T'Soni?"

Before she looked up at the speaker, Liara hurriedly and discreetly stuffed Shepard's dog tags back out of sight. She felt the metal pressed reassuringly against her skin. She then looked up to find Cesar Mendoza standing just beyond the nook. Her assistant stood with his back to her to maintain her privacy as best he could.

"Cesar?"

He turned. "I'm really sorry to interrupt you, Dr T'Soni, but you told me to keep an eye on your analysis. Well, I think we've found something that you really ought to see...immediately."

Liara stood and felt her heart skip several beats. "We have found something?" she asked dumbly, hardly daring to hope. 'What is it?"

His nod was almost manic in its enthusiasm. "I don't know...but it's big - really, really big."

* * *

 

**Cook Islands, Earth**

The white sand shuffled meekly aside as she scrunched her toes down into its delicious warmth. Each tiny little grain seemed to be individual in its brilliance and yet an integral part of the whole. When she looked up, shading her eyes against the sun, the sand merged to create a seamless carpet stretching out until it was lost in the distance. Although it offered a stark contrast to the dazzling blue of the sea, there was a small part of the world where the sand and ocean came together. The gentle rocking motion of the tiny waves drew her gaze and held her captivated. A small exhalation of wonder left her lips.

"Lucy!"

The call broke her concentration. Looking over her shoulder she saw a pale arm waving a coconut insistently in her direction.

"All the ice in your coconut is melting, I'm going to have to drink it for you!"

Inaction suddenly became rapid movement. Lucy struggled to gain a decent foothold on the sand for a moments but she was soon sprinting back up the beach with powerful strides. The sarong she'd tied around her waist fluttered around her, eventually falling away altogether until she was just clad in a swimsuit. She launched herself towards her stolen coconut and the woman who held it. After a brief struggle she held its furry exterior in her hand and glanced down to find only a few swiftly melting ice cubes at the bottom. She threw a pissed off expression in the direction of the culprit.

Susannah Whitehead was currently reclining on a low deck chair with a satisfied expression on her face. As she took a sip from her own drink, a bright orange and yellow concoction in a tall glass, the red-haired woman gave Lucy a wink.

Lucy folded her arms across her chest and glared in response. "I put that drink down for less than a minute."

"You're hot when you're angry, baby," was all Susannah said in reply.

That comment earned Susannah a handful of melting ice cubes in the face as Lucy tossed her drink at her. However, the empty coconut was soon forgotten as she shuffled across the short distance between them and planted a kiss on Susannah's lips. She ran her hand down the pale skin of her cheek and then frowned. "Did you remember to take your UV repellent pills?"

"Yes ma'am I did," Susannah replied, tossing her hair and looking up at the bright blue sky from behind her dark glasses.

Lucy kissed the lightly freckled nose of the woman she loved before taking a seat in her own deck chair. She found her glasses lying in the sand where she had dropped them and pulled them over her dark eyes. Her own dark skin, a legacy of her Korean heritage, meant she did not have to bother with the same precautions as her fair-skinned partner. Her entire body relaxed into the chair and she titled her head back, closed her eyes and felt her long black hair being caught by the gentle breeze. Everything was perfect. When she reached out her hand she immediately felt Susannah's there to hold hers. Their fingers intertwined. Perfect.

A harsh beeping sound rudely interrupted the moment. The hand holding hers was gone. Lucy opened her eyes and glanced across to see an annoyed Susannah bringing up her omni-tool, the screen rising into view. It was an unwelcome sight on the beautiful beach.

'What?" Susannah demanded in a grumpy tone.

"Captain Whitehead." The face of a women in the uniform of an Alliance Navy serviceman appeared. "You're being recalled to active duty."

Susannah's face fell. "As of when?"

"Effective immediately," the woman's tone was brusque, no-nonsense.

"You have got to be bull-shitting me!" Susannah growled in a disgusted tone. "I'm on my fucking honeymoon!"

Lucy turned to her partner, she reached out and patted her arm gently. "Calm down, honey, there's probably just been some mix-up. You're not due back for another seven days."

"No ma'am, no mistake" the distant voice answered via omni-tool. "All off-duty personnel are being recalled. You're to report back to your ship by 0800 tomorrow."

With just a brief nod to the woman on the other end of the communication, Susannah closed down her omni-tool and turned to Lucy with an apologetic wince on her face. Without saying anything the two women leaned into each other and embraced. They folded their arms around one another. Eventually Susannah sought out the nape of Lucy's neck and buried her face in the soft skin she found there. The memory of the previous night came to mind, when she had pressed her face close against Lucy's skin during a long, delicious bout of fucking that had lasted most of the night. Another beep sounded, this time coming from Lucy's omni-tool.

"Looks like the Galaxy needs you too, Second-Lieutenant Park," Susannah whispered reluctantly.

The message could wait. Instead Lucy sought out her wife's lips and did her best to make the most of the last remaining moments of their honeymoon as memorable as possible. The omni-tool was still beeping angrily a minute later as they tumbled down into the sand.


	3. Woah, Lola

**_Lazarus Station_ **

_It was over. The desperate search. The fear and violence in the single-minded pursuit of her goal. Everything had culminated to bring her to a point where she could go no further._

_Liara now found herself in the wretched position of standing next to the stasis pod holding what remained of her lover. She had known that it would eventually come to this, but that did not make it any easier to relinquish possession of the pod and its precious cargo - especially to an organisation such as Cerberus._

_She placed a trembling bare hand atop the pod. A wishful part of her hoped that there would be some sort of connection, some resonance with what lay inside. There was nothing. Despite all she had suffered, the brutal changes she had forced upon the gentle researcher she had once been, Liara was filled with doubt. She couldn't be sure that anything of Shepard remained in the pod beyond a lifeless corpse. The only part of Shepard she could sense was the part that she carried within her mind. The memories of what they had shared - as painful as they were comforting - and the lingering traces of Shepard as she had been in life. The more she could feel Shepard alive inside her, the less she thought of what lay in the pod as truly being alive. It served to emphasise that Shepard really was gone._

_All the strength that Liara had found over the past month gradually ebbed away until she was left with the same hopelessness she felt aboard the_ El Alamein _. Her eyes burned fiercely and she made no attempt to hold back the tears. They rolled down her cheeks in a steady stream and dripped from her chin onto the pod. Her next breath came out as a strangled gasp for air. Her torso slumped forward and she kept falling until her cheek was pressed against the cold metal. Her fingers clutched desperately at its smooth, unyielding surface._

_The sharp rap of heeled soles on a metal floor was like a jolt of electricity to her limp body. She snapped upright and pressed a hand to each eye, scouring away all traces of tears. The footsteps closed in on her but Liara did not turn around._

_"Miss Lawson." Liara thought her voice sounded tired even to her own ears._

_"Dr T'Soni. I am impressed," Miranda Lawson said confidently. Her footsteps stopped as she continued. "I must admit that I did not think you would succeed, not against the resources of the Shadow Broker."_

_"I had help," Liara said, remembering Feron's sacrifice._

_"Commander Shepard is fortunate to have such a friend as you," Miranda commented, placing a deliberate emphasis on the word 'friend.' "You went to great lengths to recover her body...beyond what most others would have been prepared to go."_

_Liara's shoulders slumped but she did not say anything. Shepard had been a good friend to many, but out of all of them Cerberus had sought her out in particular. Out of sheer desperation she had succeeded where others would have given up or failed. Of all of them, she succeeded because she had lost the most with Shepard's death._

_"What will you do to her?" Liara asked as she reached out once more to lay a hand on the pod._

_"What we can," Miranda replied succinctly. When Liara glanced over her shoulder with an impatient expression, the Cerberus operative continued reluctantly, "We've conducted a preliminary analysis and the results indicate that the body is in...less than ideal condition. Even our organisation's considerable resources may not be able to restore Shepard."_

_"Because she is dead," Liara heard herself say coldly. She drew in a deep breath and turned to face Miranda head on. "I was wrong to trust in this project...this experiment. We should let her rest in peace according to human custom."_

_Miranda tilted her head to one side and studied Liara with an interested expression on her face. "Would you really do that, Dr T'Soni? Could you bury her and walk away with the knowledge that there was something that could have been done to bring her back? Could you spend the rest of your life living with that decision? All nine centuries of it. Could you do that, Liara?"_

_"I..."_

_Liara spun back to face the stasis pod. She fervently wished that Miranda Lawson would respect her decision and leave her to grieve in private. If the human would just walk away then that would be the end of it. But she knew that Cerberus would not take no for an answer. As it was, Miranda's continued presence and persistent questions were starting to plant seeds of hope again - dangerous seeds. It was a slim chance, but what if the Lazarus Project did succeed?_

_"The person you bring back...will it be Shepard or some mere puppet?" Liara asked. Leaving Shepard dead was preferable to creating a shadow of the woman she had been._

" _Liara," Miranda began. Her voice was quiet but the tone was unmistakably fierce – the voice of someone used to being obeyed without question. "Cerberus isn't in the business of creating monsters. Will you at least let us try?"_

_Liara snorted disparagingly. "Cerberus does not need my permission, Miss Lawson."_

_Miranda nodded in agreement. "I would agree that you are in no position to stop us simply taking Shepard's body, but I personally would like your blessing."_

_Liara stared down at the exterior of the pod. She had not looked inside and nor would she. Whatever lay in the pod wasn't how she wanted to remember Shepard. All she had to do was close her eyes and the woman she loved would be standing in front of her again. If she reached out a hand she could imagine tracing her strong jaw line and the perfect contours of her face. As she ran her thumb lightly across Shepard's lips, they would curve into a small smile. Shepard's blue eyes danced as Liara reached up to tuck a stray lock of dark hair behind her ear. Liara smiled in return._

_Her eyes opened slowly. The warmth was gone. Only the sterile pod lay in front of her. Instead of resting on Shepard's face, Liara's hand rested on a coffin._

_She then realised she had her answer. Turning her back on the pod and holding her chin high, Liara faced Miranda._

_"Please try," was all she said before walking away._

* * *

 

**Vancouver, Earth**

When her wife's face popped up - somewhat grainy and distorted on the comm link - Lucy Park immediately broke into a smile. Less than a day had passed since they had both been together with nothing to think about beyond what to drink or eat, or whether to bother getting out of bed in the morning. Now they were in different solar systems. As part of the Second Fleet, Susannah's ship - the SSV _Tolstoy_ \- was stationed near Arcturus station, Systems Alliance headquarters. Lucy was part of an Alliance intelligence division on Earth.

Before Lucy could say anything Susannah held up one finger to excuse herself for a moment as she spoke to someone off screen. Lucy nodded understandingly. Even on the small screen she could see that Susannah was outfitted in her full flight suit, everything save the helmet. While Susannah continued speaking to a person she could neither see nor hear Lucy swivelled on her chair to stare out at the snow-capped North Shore Mountains surrounding the city of Vancouver. The dark grey clouds that had threatened to close in earlier that day had abated. It would have been the perfect afternoon for a run.

"Hey," Susannah's voice interrupted her planning. "Sorry about that, gorgeous."

Even though she was slightly impatient, Lucy shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"Did you manage to find out what the hell is going on?" Susannah asked, knowing Lucy would have far better access to intel than a pilot cocooned in the middle of space. "I hope someone apologised for cutting our honeymoon short."

Lucy was worried, not just for what she was about to say but for her wife. Susannah looked tired. Although she was fully kitted up and ready to fly, she had her chin propped up with her hand and had already stifled two yawns. She replied in a level tone, "We're only getting sketchy reports from remote outposts at present, nothing concrete but…Suze, I'm pretty sure it's the Reapers."

Suddenly Susannah no longer appeared tired. She sat up straight in her chair and stared intently into the screen with a sceptical expression on her face. "The Reapers? Come on, Lucy! The last time one of them dared to show up in our galaxy it got an asskicking! Scuttlebutt says that a full scale invasion is a load of crap. It's only the scaremongering of some crazy Alliance commander currently on trial for war crimes."

"I saw the vids of Commander Shepard's debrief," Lucy replied evenly. "I think the threat is very real."

She had watched a vid-feed of every minute of the seven-hour grilling given to Shepard upon her arrival on Earth. The soldier she had seen on the screen was many things – relentless, focused, even intimidating – but definitely not crazy. Lucy didn't know why, but she trusted every word out of the Commander's mouth. At first, Shepard had calmly answered each of the questions thrown her - no matter how repetitive or trivial they seemed. For hour upon hour. However, as they had gradually become more accusatory - implying that Shepard was involved in some unknown Cerberus plot or questioning her loyalty - the woman had struggled to maintain her temper. While Lucy had willed Shepard to hold onto that calm, she had eventually lost it in spectacular fashion. She'd called the colonel in charge a narrow-sighted desk jockey and it was only a gentle restraint on her arm by Colonel Anderson that prevented her from giving her target a physical thrashing as opposed to just a verbal one.

Susannah sighed visibly. "Luce, you're always a sucker for a lost cause-"

"Just promise me you'll be careful," Lucy said, knowing that it took a lot to convince her wife to change her mind on any issue – especially when it came to someone who had worked for Cerberus. "If it is the Reapers, just fly like you did last time."

This earned a smirk from Susannah. "Like avoiding all the things shooting at you?"

"Yeah, like that," Lucy nodded; she couldn't bring herself to smile in return.

"I've got my own squadron this time around. Harder to fly when you're trying to keep FNGs from having their tails shot off...but I'll do my very best, just for you."

Onscreen, Susannah's pale face suddenly took on a brilliant red hue as lights started flashing behind her. She glanced up at something off screen and her jaw set determinedly.

"Shit...Luce, sweetie, I've gotta run," Susannah as she got to her feet, still leaning down to stare intently into the screen.

"What's going on?" Lucy tried to keep the panic from creeping into her voice but she failed miserably.

"We're under attack-"

Interference suddenly cut into the feed and Susannah's image was distorted, the sound gone altogether. Lucy could still see a vague approximation of her wife on the screen but while her mouth was moving urgently, the words were lost. She didn't need sound to know what was being said. It was the same three words on her lips before she reached out to touch the screen. _I love you._

With an abrupt cruelty the screen went dark.

Lucy sat staring at the console for several more moments but the feed did not come back up. It was only a short time afterwards that the personnel around her became gripped in their own urgency. There were no flashing red lights but the situation was just as real. Uttering a silent prayer to whomever was listening to keep her wife safe; Lucy lost herself in the urgency of her work. Data was starting to come in from across the galaxy, senior officers were demanding sitreps in urgent tones. Lucy found it difficult not to continuously stare at the reports coming in from the Second Fleet. It was one thing to read that all carriers had launched fighters, it was another thing altogether to know that one of the pilots in those tiny craft was her wife.

* * *

 

**Vancouver, Earth**

The piece of 'meat' speared on her fork looked unrecognisable. It was white, but clearly the wrong texture to be chicken or fish. Shepard had seen it before, lurking tasteless and gelatine-like in countless meals eaten during her time in the military. She momentarily contemplated putting it into her mouth, but she eventually threw her fork to the tray. Bright red sauce splattered out across the table. She stared at it for a moment - it looked nothing like blood split on the battlefield but it suited her mood to think that it did.

And that mood was foul.

Her entire face ached and she had trouble chewing on the right side of her mouth. She'd made the mistake that morning of strapping on a pair of boxing gloves to work out some of the tension she couldn't release through swimming or a conventional workout. The idea had worked well when it was just the bag on the receiving end of her gloves. In hindsight, she ought to have left it at that. However, when an obnoxious PT instructor had challenged her to a bout, the brawler inside her couldn't resist. Accepting that it was a mistake hadn't come until he'd knocked her down for the third time - even then she'd tried to get up again. With a cut laid open above her eye and a split lip, Shepard found out that she'd been on the receiving end of the gloves of the current Navy middleweight champion. It had been amusing to him and his buddies until she'd caught him with solid kick below the belt - it wiped the smirk off his face and set him crashing to the canvas. However, that brief moment of satisfaction cost what little liberty she had left. She now found herself confined to the detention block indefinitely.

Ordinarily, Shepard wouldn't have called herself a violent person. As a soldier, she wasn't paid to entertain, to create or to sell people shit - she was paid to kill. In the absence of that employment, Shepard saw herself for the hired thug that she was. Here there were no tempering influences, only inactivity and frustration. Some no-strings-attached sex might have helped - but there wasn't exactly a supply of eligible women in the detention block.

With her meal was barely touched, Shepard picked up the plastic tray and dumped the whole thing in the garbage disposal. She felt slightly guilty, remembering from her childhood her mother's line about 'starving colonists' on Virmire, or was it Mindoir? It was another reminder that she'd barely spoken to her mother recently. Hannah Shepard had always been far better starship captain than mother. Even after finding out her daughter was alive there had only been a few brief messages. Recently, Hannah surprised Shepard by offering to visit. She'd turned it down. There was no way she was going to give her mother the satisfaction of seeing her locked up.

A loud buzz from the door interrupted her thoughts. When she turned to see the door lock flash from red to green, it slid open to reveal the burly frame of Lieutenant James Vega.

When he saw her bruised face, the tattooed marine let out a low whistle. "I heard you took on De la Garza, but shit! I'm sorry I wasn't there, I coulda warned you before stepping into the ring with that cabron."

"What d'ya want, Vega?" Shepard snapped irritably, turning her back on her guard. "I'm not really in the mood for company."

"Woah, Lola!" he held up his hands in mock surrender.

Shepard closed her eyes and drew in a calming breath. _I haven't got a bad temper, I'm just surrounded by arseholes_. "I know I told you to stop calling me Commander, but if you call me 'Lola' one more time you're going to look even worse than I do."

Vega shrugged. "Hey, I'm just here to pass on a message. Anderson wants to see you."

Shepard grunted in annoyance. "If Anderson wants to see me, he knows exactly where I am."

"He said it was urgent so you'd better come with me. You know I'll put you in irons if I have to. I have a set and I'm not afraid to use them…Evangeline."

Resisting the urge to smack Vega around the side of the head with her clenched fist, Shepard grabbed her jacket from the back of a nearby chair. The Lieutenant flashed a quick, victorious smile and together the two of them left the detention centre. Shepard mostly suspected that Anderson was going to give her a thorough dressing down on her behaviour since confinement. It was long overdue anyway.

She was still doing up the buttons of her jacket when she saw the powerful figure of Anderson pacing impatiently in the distance. He motioned for them to hurry as soon as he saw Vega with Shepard. Shepard could tell from Anderson's agitated movements that something was amiss. The usually stoic Admiral was clearly rattled.

"Shepard," he said by way of greeting, holding out his hand. "It's good to see you."

There was a moment's hesitation on her part. That moment was all it took for Shepard to realise the inanity of such a snub. Anderson wasn't the reason for her detention – her old friend had done everything he could to ensure she was as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.

"Sir," Shepard seized his hand in a firm grasp. "I wish the circumstances were better."

Anderson sighed. "So do I, Shepard...so do I."

As Shepard faced Anderson, a marine in a hurry pushed right between the two of them. He was in such a hurry that he neither saluted the Admiral, nor paused to apologise for walking through their conversation. Shepard turned and suddenly found herself shouldered aside, this time with a hurried wave of a hand in apology. Several more officers, each determinedly fixed on their objective, strode past them. They talked agitatedly amongst themselves and Shepard picked up several references to mobilisation. She looked around, finally realising that it wasn't just a few soldiers – everyone was scurrying about as though they had a vital job to do. When she studied the expressions of a few, she found fear all too evident. Shepard spun back to look at Anderson and he gave her a short, sharp nod.

"I'm about to make your day a whole lot worse," he admitted.

"The Reapers," Shepard said in a low tone. It wasn't a question. She could feel it - in the stink of fear in the air...and in the rapid pulsing of her own heartbeat.

It was the day she had fought to prevent from ever occurring. However now, standing on the precipice, she knew that it had been inevitable right from the very beginning. Her efforts had only ever slowed the Reapers, brought them more time - time that had been squandered.

"The Defence Committee has requested to see you," Anderson announced.

He started walking and Shepard could only follow him. With his charge handed over, Vega left them, striding purposefully in the opposite direction.

"With all due respect, sir, what the fuck is a committee going to do? No amount of talking is going to shore up our defences or get our Fleets into position," Shepard said angrily. "The only thing I've got to say to them is 'I fucking told you so.' "

"They're scared, and you're the only one they can call on who has any experience in dealing with the Reapers," Anderson led her up a wide flight of stairs and towards the Council chambers. "Like it or not, you're all we've got."

Shepard wisely kept her mouth shut, at least until the pair of them entered the large chambers. She already knew that this was to be the room in which her trial was held. The trial would likely never happen, but Shepard did not think to gloat on this. She looked towards the raised platform. Seated beneath an arched window were the three members of the Defence Committee. Each one visibly relieved when she joined them.

_What do they think I am?_ Shepard thought. She felt as though she was carrying far too much weight on her shoulders. _I'm just a soldier._

"Shepard," Admiral Hadley spoke in a relieved voice. "We're glad you could join us."

She had no time for formalities or tiptoeing around the situation. "What have we got?"

"Yesterday contact with remote outposts and colonies started going offline." Rear Admiral Rogers – an ex-marine with steely grey hair continued. "As it was so sudden we put it down to a communications failure and priority was placed on bringing them back online."

"Morons," Shepard muttered under her breath.

The sole woman on the committee, Admiral Okubo, sounded scared. "Fifteen minutes ago the Second Fleet was attacked suddenly and without warning. Third and Fifth Fleets have gone to assist. I've just been told that we've now had reports that we can't raise lunar base."

"Lunar base?" Shepard asked incredulously. "Why didn't you start mobilizing yesterday?"

"Mobilization of all regular Navy personnel commenced as soon as reports started coming in," Rogers answered in a firm voice.

"We...um...we have to conclude that we were wrong in not trusting your warnings, Shepard," Okubo admitted. "We were hoping that..."

"You were hoping what? That I can miraculously get you out of this colossal fuck up?" Shepard took a step forward and stabbed an angry finger in the direction of the hapless committee. "You saw what one Reaper did to our Fleets yet you still ignored me!"

"But there must be something we can do?" Admiral Hadley asked plaintively. "Some hope to avoid invasion...sue for peace?"

"The Reapers aren't interested in peace!" _I can't say it more plainly_ , Shepard thought with a sickening feeling to the pit of her stomach. "They've come here for the sole purpose of annihilating all life in the galaxy. There will be no bargaining, no surrender and no mercy."

Okubo dropped her gaze. "Then there's no hope."

"I don't know about you, but I'm not going down without a fight!" Shepard growled up at the trio. "We mobilise everything we can possibly throw at them, front-line forces, reserves - everything we've got and we hit them harder than we've ever hit anything before!"

Hadley looked at her, his expression crestfallen. "That's it?"

Rogers sounded scathing, "That's your advice?"

Shepard folded her arms across her chest and nodded resolutely. "I suggest you go and find yourselves a gun, because you're going to need one."

For the first time since she had walked into the room, the committee's attention was drawn away from Shepard by an eerie noise. All three stood in unison and peered out the window onto the peaceful cityscape. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for the now ear-piercing screeching that filled the air. Then - like a giant, insectoid bird of prey - a dark shape swooped downwards and plunged its pincer-like legs into buildings beneath it.

"They're here." Admiral Hadley's voice was filled with disbelief. It was as though, even now, he didn't believe that the Reapers were ever going to attack.

"Oh my god."

Shepard filtered out the useless comments. She had eyes for herself and already knew that there was no god that could save them from the Reapers. A part of her urged rapid action, she had to get to the Normandy as soon as possible. However another part of her stood transfixed for a few moments. _They're here._ It took the Reaper raising its bow and displaying the glowing red eye at its core to jolt her to her senses. She felt as though it were staring directly at her.

"Run!"

Shepard's frantic warning came too late for the Defence Committee. The Reaper's brilliant red beam sliced through buildings as though they were cardboard. It left a trail of death and destruction in its wake on the path it carved towards them. In a shower of metal and glass, the window overlooking the chamber exploded inwards. The concussive blast bowled the raised platform and killed the three members of the committee instantly. Shepard's legs worked frantically as she sprinted for the door but the blast caught and tossed her like a ragdoll. She was thrown face first into the ground by the force. Debris flew around her, huge chunks of metal narrowly missing her fragile body. As her head struck something solid, everything went black in an instant.

* * *

 

**Arcturus Stream, Milky Way**

There had been a desperate scramble aboard the Systems Alliance carrier, the SSV _Tolstoy_ , to get the fighters launched and into space. With that accomplished, Captain Susannah Whitehead was able to relax into the seat of her fighter - as much as her hardsuit would allow her. It was one thing to be a single person among hundreds aboard a huge starship, it was another to be alone in a fighter. Although the one-manned craft was tiny, Susannah felt as though she at least had charge of her own fate. She had the skills and weapons to help keep herself and her squadron alive.

For a minute or two, it was largely silent in the narrow confines of the cockpit. Her helmet fit snug around her head, the lights of the display flashed across her vision and she could only hear her own breathing. She glanced downward and allowed herself a moment to stare at the small photo jammed between two of the instruments on her panel. It was Lucy just three days earlier on their wedding day. Her dark hair was in stark but beautiful contrast to the white dress she wore, and a single pink lily was tucked behind her ear. Susannah remembered her first sight of Lucy in that dress. She'd thought she was going to faint, having never seen anything so beautiful. Her gloved fingers instinctively stretched out and she grazed a finger lightly across the photo.

The contemplative moment was rudely shattered by several urgent yells in her ears. Susannah jerked her hand back to the controls just as her visual display erupted in a riot of movement. If her readouts didn't tell her something was coming, then the shouts over the comm did.

"Contact! Three points starboard!"

"Confirmed, we've got incoming!"

"Motherfuckers..."

"Contact, multiple bogies inbound...and I mean multiple! Shit, how many are there?"

Out of the inky blackness of space, the men and woman of the Alliance Navy watched the dark shapes emerge ahead of them. The bulk of each massive ship seemed to swallow the stars around it. They were like black holes with no definition. However, as they drew closer, their spine-chilling shapes manifested like a swarm of insects. Dozens of Reapers filled Susannah's view from her cockpit.

_I owe Luce and Commander Shepard an apology_ , she thought.

As the Reapers closed in on the Second Fleet, tiny specks began discharging from within their bodies. These then approached the Alliance ships rapidly - tiny spherical shapes with glowing red eyes. Susannah gritted her teeth, there was little her fighters could do against the huge Reapers, but they could have a chance against these attack drones.

"Zulu squadron form up on me!" Her voice sounded calmer than she had anticipated. "Everyone keep tight on your wingman and watch your backs!"

The dreadnoughts, cruisers and frigates of the Second Fleet then opened fire with their main guns, mass-accelerator cannons and projectiles, clearing a path for the fighters. The Reapers responded a split second later with powerful red beams that seemed to arc across space. Susannah watched as one such beam effortlessly tore the bow off the SSV _Sydney_ before the cruiser had time to manoeuvre out of its path.

"Jurgens, you with me?" Susannah asked her wingman.

"Right here, ma'am," the second-lieutenant replied confidently.

The pair of fighters slipped into an attack trajectory, constantly weaving and twisting to avoid presenting easy targets. In front of them, a Reaper fired its cannon. Susannah instinctively jammed her fighter into a sideslip just as a searing red light tore past the cockpit, so close she could almost feel the heat. She knew from experience that the first few moments of actual combat were unlike anything training prepared a pilot for. Combat in the sterility of a simulator or firing holo rounds at hull-mounted sensors provided no sense of the reality of being shot at by someone who was trying to kill her. She only hoped that the FNGs in her squadron held together.

"Still with me, Lew?"

"Oh I'm with you, but my lunch is back there!"

A trio of attack drones was bearing down on them with intent. Susannah's forearms strained against the controls as she fought to track their path and get them within the parameters of her targeting sensors. Seconds later she jammed her thumb down and saw her cannons tear into the lead drone. It disintegrated instantly. Jurgens opened up seconds later and his burst was lucky enough to take out both remaining drones. There were no whoops of victory to follow the kills, just the serious business of staying alive while trying to do as much damage to the enemy as possible. The urgent chatter of her squadron filled her ears as they engaged the Reapers.

"I've lost my wingman!"

"I'm hit...pressure's compromised! I'm going-"

"They just keep coming!"

Fifteen minutes later, with sweat streaming down her face inside her helmet, Susannah dispatched another of the drones and punched several cannon bursts at one of the colossal Reapers for good measure. She felt nothing except a quiet desperation. Jurgens had been killed a few minutes earlier, one of the drones had kamikaze'd itself mercilessly into his fighter. As far as she knew, she was now the last surviving member of Zulu squadron. She'd failed to keep her pilots safe. Only a few fighters from other squadrons remained. She teamed up with two from Echo and the three of them were picking off drones where they could and trying to avoid everything else. Susannah didn't dare look back towards the remains of the Second Fleet. She'd seen the _Santiago_ , the _Jutland_ and the _Marathon_ all destroyed within the space of a few minutes. For all she knew the _Tolstoy_ was gone too.

"Where the fuck are the Third and Fifth Fleets?" one of the Echo pilots was asking desperately. "We're getting plastered out here!"

_I don't think it would matter how many fleets we had_ , Susannah thought as she narrowly avoided colliding with a chunk of debris. _They're unstoppable._

"Be advised the Third and Fifth Fleets are withdrawing," an unrecognised voice broadcast across all channels. "The Second Fleet is to hold the line at all costs."

The order hit Susannah like a vicious blow to the stomach. _The Second Fleet is to hold the line at all costs_. It was an unspoken request for sacrifice. There would be no withdrawal, nor retreat. The Second Fleet would be wiped out in order to give the others a chance to repair and regroup. Susannah understood the reason. If all three fleets were wiped out in the first engagement the entire Alliance Navy would be compromised as an effective fighting force. They had to protect the approach to Sol...and Earth. It meant life for some...and hope.

A moment was all she had to glance at Lucy's picture again. More than anything, she wanted to live - if she could just have another chance to wrap her arms around her wife. Four years together and it was going to end today, in a gesture of futility with no witness to tell Lucy how she had died.

"I love you, Luce," she whispered, reaching out to touch the picture one last time. With her eyes burning, she straightened in her seat and let out a determined exhalation. "Are you two losers still with me?"

"Right here, ma'am!"

"Not going anywhere in a hurry, Captain!"

She picked out the glowing dots of Echo three and seven on her display. They had formed up in a 'V' formation and were headed straight into the heart of the Reaper attack – head on. It wasn't the way Susannah normally flew. She was cautious, preferring to nip around the edges where the fighters had the most chance to deal damage.

_So much for being careful_ , Susannah thought.

She'd lost count of how many drones she had already destroyed. However there was no a seemingly solid wave of them advancing towards the Second Fleet, clustering around the colossal Reapers and their lethal cannons. Then the drones advanced as one.

"Zulu one going in!"

It was a whirling, churning chaos in the midst of space. Full of fire and destruction every way she turned. Death was avoided so many times in those minutes - with a slight, skilful adjustment to the controls, a narrow miss or sheer bloody luck. The inevitability of the end was a constant companion but it was stubbornly ignored. Always at the forefront of her mind was survival. If she flew with all her skill and didn't make any foolish mistakes, then maybe she'd live through this. There would be a chance to see Lucy again.

Captain Susannah Whitehead didn't see the end when it did come. In the desperation of outmanoeuvring a hoard of attack drones, she didn't see the Reaper behind her spread the folds of its carapace and fire – not even aiming for her but the prime target of an Alliance cruiser. The beam struck, slicing cruelly into her tiny fighter and tearing it apart instantly.

 


	4. Every Marine's a Rifleman

**Deep Space, Location Unknown**

_Coming back from the dead wasn't something that many could claim to have experienced. Some individuals technically 'died' for a few minutes before being successfully revived. However they could not claim to have experienced death in the real sense of the word – in the sense that they were gone from the world. You were gone when Friends and loved ones had time to grieve, to accept the loss and cherish the memories they possessed. Two years had passed since Commander Shepard had last walked in the world of the living. Two years of being dead, whatever way you looked at it._

_While it had been somewhat miraculous, Shepard's awakening had been anything but peaceful. There had been previous, brief moments of lucidity, but she'd come to full consciousness with the red glare of sirens blinding her sensitive eyes and the familiar muffled sounds of explosions and gunfire. Much like her old life really._

_It was only with the desperate escape from the dying Lazarus Research Station behind her that Shepard could truly appreciate what had happened. She sat on the bench in a Cerberus shuttle, staring at the two Cerberus operatives sitting opposite her and felt a strange sensation in her belly. She couldn't decide whether she felt like vomiting, laughing, or crying. Or a combination of all three._

_Two fucking years?_

_Shepard stared unashamedly at Miranda Lawson. The woman had everything that a much younger Shepard would have appreciated wrapped up into one tidy package - perfectly balanced features, a stunning pair of tits and a perfectly toned body. Now the once dead Shepard couldn't care less. Miranda seemed to delight in firing questions at her - as though she didn't know exactly who it was she'd brought back from the dead. Shepard found herself answering politely at first. Answers flowed easily enough - full name, date of birth, service history. It was her life after all. However with each new level of intrusion into her life she grew increasingly irritated, especially as the questions touched on painful events in her past._

" _You left Kaidan Alenko to die on Virmire-" Miranda began._

" _I didn't leave him to die!" Shepard interrupted in a heated tone. "I had no choice. Alenko was a soldier. As soldiers we all accept the risks every time we get dropped into a hot zone!"_

" _Go easy on her, Miranda!" Jacob Taylor protested in his firm voice. "Trust me when I say it's Shepard. I've seen her in action and there's nothing wrong with her!"_

_Shepard didn't even give him a nod in appreciation. She slumped forward and put her head in her hands. The scars on her face felt strange but the initial pain had dulled somewhat. Now she was just tired - tired of trying to make sense of the life she had been brought back to._

_Liara._

_She sat up straight, suddenly alert. She felt as though she was only just waking up._

" _Where are we going?" she demanded. Shepard addressed her question to Jacob Taylor as he seemed to be the least offensive of her companions._

_Jacob didn't answer her. Instead he looked across to Miranda. The brunette was clearly in charge._

" _We're taking you to meet with the Illusive Man. He'll be able to brief you on his plans," Miranda explained patiently._

" _The Illusive what?" Shepard shook her head. "Actually, I don't give a fuck." A meeting with anyone else from Cerberus, especially someone who purported to be in charge, was low down on her list of priorities. "There's someone I need to find before I do anything else...an old colleague...a friend. It's urgent."_

" _You've been dead for two years, Shepard," Miranda responded, still using her patient tone of voice. "I'm sure they can wait a little longer. The meeting with the Illusive Man is our priority."_

_Shepard felt her temper rising once again. She hadn't come this close to seeing Liara again to be stopped by Cerberus. She lurched to her feet, ignoring the shuttle's jostling, and thrust her finger in Miranda's direction. "You may have brought me back, but you don't own me. Finding Li...Dr T'Soni is my priority."_

_Shepard faced down Miranda Lawson, her feelings written plainly across her face. She'd never been so open about her feelings for Liara, especially not in the company of strangers...and potential enemies at that. Everything was laid bare, but seeing Liara again was all she could think about._

_She watched as Miranda drew in a breath. The Cerberus Operative thought for a moment, and then flashed what was obviously intended to be a soothing smile. Shepard didn't trust her at all. It was at that point that she realised her second life was not in her own hands – not yet anyway._

_Cerberus did own her._

" _I'll get in touch with Dr T'Soni for you. We're old friends after all," Miranda replied genially._

_Shepard frowned suspiciously. "You know her?"_

_Miranda nodded with a smile. "Who do you think helped Cerberus recover your body in the first place?"_

* * *

 

**Vancouver, Earth**

_It wasn't just her paranoia. Shepard understood that the Reaper towering above was focused solely on her. The carapace lifted and the core opened. Shepard should have found herself blinded by the brilliant red light but she met it defiantly, unafraid. In the moments as the cannon beam powered up, she looked down at her body to find it was glowing with a red-coloured energy of its own. An energy charge radiated out, as though she was generating a mass effect field._

_Shepard held up her hand and looked curiously at the red energy collected there. She had never possessed even the slightest biotic talent but she did not feel troubled by what she saw._

"Shepard!"

Someone was yelling at her from close by. The first thing she felt was a rough hand shaking her shoulder. Gradually she became aware of other sensations – the hard metal beneath her, a ringing in her ears and the taste of dust and blood in her mouth.

Her eyes opened and she focused on the urgent expression on the face of Admiral David Anderson. It only took her a moment before she was able to prop herself up on her elbows. Shepard made a quick assessment of her limbs and found everything intact and operable. She had escaped the blast with no significant injuries, just cuts to her bare forearms and what felt like a few more wounds on her already battered face. Anderson held out his dependable hand towards her and hauled up upright. She tottered on shaky legs but collected herself immediately when Anderson handed her a pistol.

"You alright?"

If she had been a member of another profession, Shepard might have said no. Her body ached, she could barely hear over the ringing in her ears and she felt like a week's sleep wouldn't be enough. However the soldier in her merely replied with a no-nonsense nod.

"Good," Anderson replied. He began leading her out of the ruined council chamber via an opening in the rubble. He continued talking to her in a loud yell as they moved quickly. "I would have said our best bet was to get to the _Normandy_ but there's no way we'll make that distance, not in the middle of a full-scale assault."

"Agreed," Shepard replied quickly.

The level of devastation, already evident from their immediate surroundings, was colossal. As they scrambled through what had once been a quiet courtyard dotted with ferns, she only had to look outwards to see the shells of buildings gutted by cannon blasts. Thick columns of black smoke rose into the sky, coupled with desperate weapons fire by the Alliance troops. Most was directed towards the colossal Reapers dominating the skyline. There were three that Shepard could see and probably more dotted around the city.

"Come in, _Normandy_!" Anderson was yelling into his omni-tool to make himself heard. "Damn, I can't raise them!"

A blast shook the foundations of the building they were clinging to precariously and both were forced to hit the deck for protection. Anderson ducked behind a planter box while Shepard covered him with her Predator.

"Williams!" he tried a different plan.

This time the response was almost immediate, _{Williams here, sir!}_

"Where are you?"

_{En-route zzzzz_ Normandy _...Vega!}_ Ashley's voice came back through a haze of static. _{ETA ten minutes – unless we run into more trouble! I've managed to contact them and they're powering up systems.}_

"Good work. Shepard and I are making our way down to the waterfront for extraction. Rendezvous on my signal as soon as soon you're in the air!"

_{Aye-aye, sir!}_ Ashley's voice was determined. _{Don't hang around to enjoy the view. We're coming for you.}_

Getting to the waterfront presented Anderson and Shepard with somewhat of a challenge. Conventional means of egress from their building had been rendered useless. They were forced to make use of an internal maintenance ladder that was now external – the walls around it having been ripped away. Following several metres behind the Admiral, Shepard slid down the ladder and into a blasted out room that looked as though it had once been a busy workspace. Consoles and wall-screens lay shattered amongst overturned desks and chairs. Most of the Alliance personnel looked as though they had been killed instantly at their workstations. Bodies lay in unrecognisable, twisted, bloody heaps throughout the room. Shepard was scanning methodically as she moved through the space when she caught a flash out of the corner of her well-trained eyes. She brought her pistol up, ready to fire, but all she found was the terrified gaze of a young woman huddled on the floor. The Alliance officer unnecessarily raised her hands but Shepard was already lowering her gun.

"Shepard!" Anderson was already across the room. "We've got to move!"

"Survivor!" Shepard yelled back. "We're right behind you!"

She turned back to the woman, a Second-Lieutenant, Aside from a slight gash running down the side of her neck she appeared unharmed. Her dark eyes were full of fear. Even when Shepard held out her hand, she did not want to move. Knowing that time was critical, Shepard lunged forward and seized her roughly by the front of her jacket. She jerked her to her feet.

"We've got to get out of here or we'll all die!" Shepard yelled into her face.

The dark haired woman nodded in understanding. When Shepard let go, she remained standing. Shepard led her in the direction Anderson had taken. As she moved, she paused only to strip a dead soldier of the Avenger assault rifle lying beneath his body. She turned and handed her Predator butt first to the Second-Lieutenant.

The woman looked at the pistol with a dumb expression on her face and did not take it.

"I'm an Intelligence Officer, not a soldier!" she protested in a tremulous voice as she shook her head. "I haven't fired a weapon since basic training!"

Shepard roughly took her hand and forced the weapon into her grip. "Every marine's a rifleman! Now stick to me because I'm not going to stop for you again. Am I understood, soldier?"

As soon as she had received a nod in reply, Shepard went sprinting after Anderson, trusting that the young woman would follow her. The Admiral was hunkered down behind a wall waiting for them. When he saw them coming he sprung over it and ran for a nearby ladder that would lead them down another level and closer to the waterfront.

It was Shepard who spotted movement first, just before Anderson ran straight into one. "Husks!"

The zombie-like creatures were scrambling up the walls of the building in front of them. As soon as Shepard started firing with her Avenger, they spun to face the threat. Anderson joined in with his pistol. Several fell backwards over the ledge but more kept coming. Each was picked off methodically before they could get close enough to do any damage. The last one Shepard could see was lying in a smoking heap when she sensed something out of the corner of her eye. She turned to find that her vision was filled with the gaping mouth of a husk that had outflanked them. Before she could bring her weapon to bear on it, a single shot rang out. The husk's head exploded instantly and it dropped like a sack in front of her. Shepard turned to see the smoking muzzle of a Predator. The Second-Lieutenant lowered her weapon with an incredibly relieved expression on her face.

"Thanks for that," Shepard said gratefully. "I didn't really fancy having my face ripped off."

The trio began moving quickly towards the ladder, each keeping alert as it was the direction the husks had come from.

"No problem," the young woman replied. "I'm sorry for...back there, I was..."

"It happens," Shepard interrupted her – it wasn't the time for apologies or explanations. Anderson was already down the ladder and she motioned for the other woman to go next.

With Anderson still on point, they moved more rapidly down towards the waterfront. Ahead of them, low on the skyline, Shepard could see an Alliance cruiser. It had obviously just taken off from the spaceport and was trying to gain altitude as rapidly as possible. It was far too low to pick up any effective momentum or manoeuvre to avoid incoming fire. Its weapons were already discharging desperately, its fire concentrated on a nearby Reaper.

"Shit!" Shepard hissed. "They haven't got a chance!"

The Reaper brought its main cannon to bear on the cruiser. Seconds later it opened up with a two successive blasts. The first caught the cruiser a glancing blow across its starboard side, knocking out most of its gun batteries that were firing at the Reaper. Moments later the second sliced it almost in half. The crippled cruiser almost immediately disintegrated in a ball of flame.

The resulting explosion and shockwave that radiated out reached the ledge of the building that the trio were standing on. Taking cover was futile when the entire ledge shook and suddenly dropped downwards to create an unstable slope. Shepard lost her balance almost immediately. She hurtled downwards and was lucky to be able to arrest her momentum slightly by digging the heels of her boots in. She still hit the bottom with some force and rolled into a heap. Only slightly dazed, she scrambled behind some cover just as projectiles started whizzing past her, zeroing in on her position. She peered cautiously past her cover to see three misshapen humanoid forms advancing towards her. Each had a gun integrated into its shoulder socket instead of an arm. With her two companions in the open, Shepard opened up, spraying almost an entire clip in the direction of the threat. Two went down beneath the hail of fire, but their heavily armoured bodies were difficult to penetrate effectively. With the Avenger out of ammo, all Shepard could do was stick to her cover. Thankfully Anderson emptied the rest of his clip and managed to put it down. The Admiral was limping slightly but still able to move quickly unaided. The other woman was still picking herself up out of a pile of rubble. When Shepard looked at her, she responded with a nod to indicate she was okay.

They ran past the corpses on the way to the waterfront, each was heavily armoured with some sort of plating covered vulnerable areas. Shepard found a couple of discarded thermal clips next to the body of a dead marine. She slammed one into the Avenger and tossed the other to Anderson. Moving quickly through the rubble, they reached a ruined building directly on the waterfront and could go no further. Although the roof and one wall had been entirely blasted away, it provided fairly decent cover on three sides.

"Williams, where are you?" Anderson barked into his omni-tool.

_{We've reached..._ Normandy _,}_ Ashley replied, the line was poor and she could barely be heard over the interference. _{We're having...trouble pinpointing...location...on our way.}_

"You've got five minutes to get your ass over here!" Anderson yelled before another nearby blast made him duck as chunks of masonry smashed all around him. " _Normandy_?"

There was no response. The three of them could only hope that the ship was able to zero in on their position. Shepard scanned the environs but she couldn't see any movement within sight other than a couple of Alliance shuttles discharging troops half a kilometre away. When the shuttles went to take off again, only one was able to slip through the Reaper's fire. The other was hit and went down into the bay.

"Commander Shepard?"

When she heard her name, Shepard looked across at the officer she'd dragged out of the building. The Second-Lieutenant was looking towards her expectantly.

"You're Commander Shepard right?"

"I was, now it's just Shepard," she replied, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "You?"

"Lucy Park, formerly of Intelligence division...now...well," Lucy held up the Predator in her hand to indicate her current assignment and managed a small smile.

"You're doing just fine, Park," Shepard responded in a dry voice – she badly needed something to moisten her throat.

She found herself leaning heavily against the cover in front of her. Although her gaze was still alert, she felt tired knowing that this was just the beginning of their desperate fight for survival. There would be no rest for any of them – except in death.

"Any family, Park?" Shepard asked as quietly as she was able. It felt human to have a simple conversation to pass the time. She needed something to keep her mind from shutting off and her eyes closing.

"My parents are still in Seoul. The rest are scattered around the galaxy," Lucy replied, her own eyes also scanning for hostiles. "But my wife is stationed on the _Tolstoy_ \- a carrier with the Second Fleet. Last I heard they were engaging the Reapers."

It was easy to detect the strain in Lucy's voice when she spoke about the Second Fleet. Arcturus Station would be a prime target, and any fleet standing between it and the Reapers would be in for a rough ride. Still, Earth itself was being hit hard. Nowhere was safe.

"What about you, Comman-" Lucy stopped herself short. "Shepard?"

Subconsciously Shepard heard a soft voice speaking in the darkness. Not in this forsaken place but somewhere else, a different time altogether. _I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me, Shepard?_ The bliss that followed that question was something she would never forget, no matter how distant her relationship with Liara T'Soni.

Now Shepard didn't even know where Liara was – if she was even safe after the initial invasion. The Shadow Broker's ship was well hidden, but it was vulnerable all the same. Shepard felt a momentary panic at the thought. She quenched it almost immediately. Liara was extremely capable and honestly not her concern at this point in time.

"No one," Shepard answered Lucy's question in a tight voice.

Even Captain Hannah Shepard wasn't really her mother, just some distant figure in her life. She glanced across at the young woman and the fearful expression she found there was enough to make her glad that she didn't have anyone to worry about – at least that was what she told herself. Deep down she knew better. Was a world without Liara even worth saving?

Lucy Park had watched the rapid play of emotions across Shepard's face. Just for a split second, she had seen her own fears for Susannah projected there. There was someone that the stoic soldier cared about deeply, but it was accompanied by something else. She didn't ask any further questions. It wasn't the time. However she did utter a silent prayer, both for Susannah and Commander Shepard's love – whoever they were.

After watching Shepard on vids for such a prolonged period of time, Lucy had felt as though she knew her. She had seen the intensity and the barely restrained passion for herself. Now, sitting next to her in the flesh, she realised that the woman she had watched was only ever a two-dimensional character. The vids had not conveyed the true nature of her physical presence. Lucy could see the hard, lean muscles of her biceps and forearms, but she was shorter and less heavily built than she had expected. It was only through seeing Shepard in action that Lucy could see the marine in her element. Even as she talked, everything about her was alert and primed. Despite the precarious nature of their situation, she exuded confidence. _Not to mention the fact that she's kind of…hot_ , Lucy mused guiltily. Shepard was not stereotypically beautiful - her nose was slightly too sharp and her lips were not full enough but the perfectly proportioned shape of her face balanced everything out to create a woman that definitely drew the eye. The element that unnerved her were the thin orange scars that creased Shepard's face. The orange glow seemed to shift beneath her skin. When Shepard suddenly turned her head slightly, Lucy saw tiny pinpricks of orange light dancing within the pale blue of her iris.

"Everything alright, Park?"

"Um, yes ma'am." Lucy had not realised that Shepard could see she was staring at her. _And you have an exceptionally gorgeous wife, Luce_ , she thought as she wrenched her gaze away from the Commander with heat surging into her cheeks.

With the Predator pistol seeming more familiar in her hand with each passing moment, Lucy felt only excitement when she saw more of the armoured creatures they had encountered earlier. At first she could see four making their way through the rubble towards the building in which they sheltered. However, a glance to her left confirmed that there were more – many more.

"Incoming!" she hissed.

Her warning gave Anderson and Shepard seconds to set themselves up into firing positions before they were spotted. In addition to the initial groups Lucy had spotted, there was another wave approaching their right flank.

"I damn well hope the _Normandy_ isn't far!" Anderson yelled as he opened up.

The admiral was shooting with deadly accuracy, each bullet finding its mark. It was purely out of necessity; they were dangerously low on thermal clips. Shepard was firing the Avenger in short bursts, trying to keep the creatures pinned down instead of advancing closer to their position. Lucy fired whenever she saw an exposed target, hoping at least that she was doing some damage.

Almost a dozen of the Reaper ground troops had already gone down when Shepard used the last of her clip. However more kept coming. With the slackening in the rate of fire from their position, they were advancing boldly. If the Normandy didn't make an appearance soon they would be overrun in a matter of minutes. Bullets snapped over their heads, forcing them to keep their heads down. Tossing aside the useless Avenger, Shepard flared up her omni-tool's blade and with lightning fast movement, sliced into a creature just as it reached her. With a gurgle it collapsed at her feet. A second followed, lashing out with its gun as a club. Shepard spun away and brought her own arm downwards to slice the gun clean off. Anderson followed up with a bullet to the head.

"I'm out!" Lucy yelled a second later.

"Get behind me!" Shepard ordered. "And stay down!"

_Shit, this is going to be a short fight!_ she thought desperately.

A bullet sliced against her, ripping through her jacket before just grazing her side. She felt as though the next one was going to find its target when the ground in front of their position suddenly erupted with a wall of flame. Shepard, Anderson and Park all threw themselves to the ground as the attacking creatures were thrown back by cannon fire from above.

_{Hey down there! You guys need a lift?}_

Shepard had never been so glad to hear the nasal tones of Ashley Williams. She grinned, picking herself up and helping Lucy to her feet.

"What took you so long, Williams!" she replied into her omni-tool. As she ran out of the building, she saw the beautiful, graceful lines of the _Normandy_ come into view almost directly above her. The landing ramp was already deploying. Moments later Ashley herself came into view, an Avenger in her hands, covering them along with several other troops. Shepard sprinted up onto the wrecked of a car and used it to gain access to the roof of a nearby building. The ramp was just within reach as she took a running jump. Ashley's firm hand steadied her when she landed. Once aboard the _Normandy_ , she turned to wait for Anderson and Lucy. Anderson was helping Lucy up onto the roof but he wasn't in any hurry to jump.

"Come on!" Shepard yelled, gesturing for them to hurry up.

Anderson's response was a baffling shake of his head. He yelled, "I'm not coming with you, Shepard. Someone's got to stay here, organise resistance!"

"The hell you are!" Shepard protested.

"No can do," Anderson continued. Behind him, several shuttles were disgorging more marines to help with the fight. "You need to get to the Citadel, talk to the Council. Get them to send help. That's your job, not mine!"

"I don't take orders from you, Anderson!" Shepard yelled stubbornly.

Anderson responded by dragging a set of tags out of the pocket of his jacket. He tossed them towards her. "Consider yourself reinstated, Commander!"

Shepard snatched the tags out of the air gratefully. Lucy Park was still standing next to Shepard. She hadn't made a move to jump onto the Normandy.

"We've gotta go, Skipper!" Ashley reminded her in an urgent voice. "Can't hang around here all day."

"Park?" Shepard held out her hand.

Lucy responded with a shake of her head as well. She had made up her mind after listening to Admiral Anderson. The resistance would need soldiers as well as leaders. "I think I can do the most good here with the Admiral. I'm a rifleman remember?"

Shepard gave her a nod. She then snatched the rifle out of the hands of the marine standing next to her on the landing ramp. With a swift movement, she tossed it to Lucy. The former Intelligence officer caught it in a secure grip and grinned confidently.

"Hurry back with help, Commander Shepard!" Lucy called out as the Normandy started to move away.

"That's a promise, Park!" Even as the words left her lips, Shepard didn't know how soon she would be back, if ever.

Shepard moved backwards a few paces but she continued to stand near the edge of the landing ramp as it was retracted into the _Normandy_. The last thing she saw as it closed were the tiny figures of Anderson and Lucy making their way back to join the rest of the Alliance troops. It hurt to leave them there, but she swore she was going to get them help – even if she had to threaten the Council at gunpoint.


	5. Hope on Mars

**Nos Astra, Illium**

_From the window of her office, Nos Astra looked almost peaceful – chaotically busy, but peaceful all the same. The constant streams of traffic in the sky lanes above seemed musical in their orchestration. For once the soaring buildings didn't seem as though they were hemming her in, but rather opening up the sky. Nos Astra had the potential to be a beautiful city in the proudest asari tradition._

_However Illium was not an asari colony and Dr Liara T'Soni knew that beneath its refined exterior, lay a seething hotbed of corruption and vice. Safety was a carefully manufactured illusion throughout the young corporate colony. There was more than enough danger for those who sought it out. She knew this from personal experience. As an information broker her reach extended out into every seedy nightclub, every port in which smuggling operations were carried out almost openly and into the pockets of countless officials. She had agents working in the manufactories of almost every weapons and pharmaceutical company on Illium – and there were a great many._

_At first thought it appeared to be a stretch to connect her previous life with the new. On one hand there was the quiet, reclusive archaeologist who had contentedly spent months without talking to another person. That studious young asari who had presented so many research papers for publication in the universities on Thessia. Almost every paper had been cursorily rejected. They cited her age and lack of experience as the reason for the production of such unfounded assumptions and claims. With each rejection Liara had added another layer of armour to her personality. She had slowly built a shell, hardening herself against those that could hurt her._

_It was experience that she had called on while working with Cerberus to track down Shepard's body. She had needed every ounce of that detached hardness in order to be able to carry the task out. Even then she had nearly been brought down by the Shadow Broker. Her carelessness and inexperience had probably cost Feron's life._

_Liara sighed as she turned away from the window and faced the human businessman standing in front of her. Abraham Cain was an engineer by trade and now a rising power in the manufacture of high calibre weapons. He owed a large part of his success to Liara and information she had provided him on his competitors. However, unlike most successful entrepreneurs on Illium, he was fast forgetting those who had helped him get to the top._

_His handsome, chiselled face was staring back at her haughtily. Liara sat calmly on the edge of her desk, listening as he explained that most of his first year's profits had been directed back into the business out of necessity. There simply weren't enough credits to settle her full balance._

" _Dr T'Soni," he began, throwing what he obviously thought was a dashing smile into the mix. "Perhaps you do not understand the need for rapid expansion in this business? If you don't make an impressive splash in your first year, then you might as well not even bother. The M920-Cain is at a critical stage of its development, if I do not funnel as much funding as possible into research..."_

" _What about the grant you received from the Nos Astran Research Institute?" Liara asked calmly._

_Cain was momentarily taken aback before he recovered. "It was only 75,000 credits, less than half of what I need-"_

" _Which can easily be made up from last month's turnover alone," Liara interrupted him again. "You sold more than enough standard assault rifles to turn a respectable profit."_

_Cain spluttered indignantly. "I don't think you understand the overheads required for this type of business Dr T'Soni. I need to pay my staff, there are materials to purchase...very expensive materials!"_

_Liara's voice turned cold. "And the two million credits you received from the Batarian government for right of first refusal over the first fully functional weapons?"_

_This time his reaction was not merely startled, but angry. He strode forward until he was standing almost toe to toe and she could easily smell the brand of aftershave he wore. "How the hell did you find out about that? It's my business!"_

" _It doesn't matter how I found out about it, the only thing that matters is that I know. Even on Illium officials do not take kindly to arms monopoly agreements, especially not with the Batarians. I have taken the liberty of informing your contact within the Batarian State Hegemony that you will not be pursuing this deal. They will not be transferring the funds into your account...and I also believe you have just made a powerful enemy by reneging on this deal," Liara's voice remained calm throughout, even as Cain became visibly worked up._

" _You asari bitch!" he spat, his handsome cheeks turning bright red. However, before he could lash out, he reigned himself in with several deep breaths. He continued in a calm, but dangerous tone. "With the Batarian deal I would have returned your investment fivefold...possibly even more if you would accept my proposal to become a full business partner."_

"A f _ull business partner?" Liara asked, feigning innocence and interest at the same time."Fifty-fifty split?"_

_Cain nodded and smirked. "That and more if you accept what else I have to offer you, Dr T'Soni...Liara."_

_Boldly he reached out and placed a hand on her hip. With a slight tug, he drew her against his body. The contact lasted only for a split second. The next thing Cain knew was his feet were dangling several inches above the floor as Liara held him up in a biotic field, her fingers around his throat._

" _Mr Cain, I cannot stress enough just how little value I place on anything you have to offer me other than your money," Liara growled. She felt every inch of her skin crawl just looking at the man. "If you do not pay me in full by the due date, you will find yourself with absolutely no contracts and yet another enemy. I am not someone you want as an enemy. Am I understood?"_

_He struggled to nod but found it difficult with Liara gripping his throat so hard he could barely breathe._

" _I cannot hear you, Mr Cain?"_

" _Of course, Liara...Dr T'Soni! Of course!" he spluttered in a hoarse voice._

_She released the biotic field and he fell heavily to the floor. He couldn't scramble to his feet quickly enough. With only a nervous look in her direction, he fled out of her office. Liara sighed. They usually paid...but she hoped for her own sake that she didn't have to make good her threats in this instance. Killing people served a purpose, but it never became any easier._

_Liara took a seat at her desk and rested her head in her hands for a moment. Many of the individuals she did business with thought that they could charm her into giving them a special deal. As an unbonded asari in a position of power it was supposedly an option open to her. Her sexuality had the potential to be another tool in her arsenal. It was also something that Liara had never once considered. There were some things that weren't for sale, no matter how high the bid._

_Her terminal was showing a new message with no subject line – a common occurrence in her line of work. She opened it up and it took her only seconds to read what was written there._

' _Operation Lazarus successful. Advise against contact due to subject instability. Will keep you informed. M'_

_Everything stopped in the following heartbeat. Time...emotion...reason. Liara pushed her chair away from the desk and spun around so she could stare out her window. The view no longer held any interest for her. Despite the cryptic nature of the message, she understood its implications and its potential. The slender hope that she had placed in the Cerberus project two years earlier had come to fruition. Miranda Lawson had performed something that was almost impossible. The silent prayers she had uttered, so fervently at first, had come true. She felt as though someone had handed her a gift she didn't know what to do with._

" _No, the gift is not mine," she whispered aloud._

_It was Shepard's gift._

_It was pointless remaining in the office for another second. She would do no more business for the day. Gathering a few important things, she left her office. Her assistant, Nyxeris, looked at her strangely when she exited the room._

" _Is something the matter, Dr T'Soni?" Nyxeris asked cautiously upon noticing the expression on her employer's face._

" _I am heading home for the day," Liara said quietly. "Please cancel all my appointments and hold my calls."_

" _When should I reschedule?" the dutiful assistant asked._

" _I...I do not know," Liara had trouble thinking about anything other than the message. "Just put them off...for the rest of today at least. I will be in touch."_

" _Yes, Dr T'Soni," Nyxeris replied with a nod. "I hope you are feeling better tomorrow."_

_Without a further word, Liara walked away. She hurried towards the nearest taxi stand as though on auto-pilot. She felt her way through the crowded trading floor. It was only once the taxi door had sealed shut on the noise behind her that she was able to think clearly, and even then her thoughts were chaotic. They hovered between despair and exhilaration._

_Something of Shepard was alive, but was it her Shepard or someone else altogether?_

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Even as the _Normandy's_ ramp hissed shut, Shepard experienced a stabbing feeling of guilt at leaving David Anderson on Earth. It was her fight as much as his. Down there, on the ground, that was what she knew. With a weapon in her hands and a couple of dozen marines behind her, she could actually do something useful.

Now she was heading across the galaxy on what was essentially a diplomatic mission to the Citadel. Although she had done everything in her power to save the Council, and at great cost, she loathed them as a self-righteous quartet of bureaucrats. Everything about them was foreign to her. They thought in different terms, they used words as she would use a weapon and, above all else, they focussed on the task of self-preservation. Even though humanity now had a seat on that Council, they were still viewed as little more than a child dabbling in galactic politics. Shepard could not shake off the fear that Anderson was counting on the wrong person to perform this singularly important task. If she failed to sway the Council then humanity would receive no help, and it would only be a matter of time until Earth fell. The remainder of the Alliance Navy would be torn to pieces in a single engagement.

The _Normandy's_ landing bay was a hive of activity as she made her way across to the armoury where Ashley and the other marines were stowing their weapons. Shepard immediately saw Vega approaching her with a stormy expression on his face. The burly marine was clearly not happy.

"Williams tells me we're leaving Earth?" he demanded. "This true?"

"It's true, Vega," was all Shepard was prepared to say in reply.

Although he deserved a severe dressing down for speaking to her in such a manner, Shepard let it slide. Her reinstatement had only come a minute earlier after all. She also didn't have time or energy to foster any dissention in her ranks, especially when the dissenting opinion was one she shared. However as she pushed past him, he grabbed her by the elbow and forced her to face him. Shepard angrily yanked her elbow away.

"Watch yourself, Lieutenant!" she warned.

"We're just leaving them? Those are our people down there, Shepard!" he protested. "Our friends."

"Those are our people down there _Commander_!" Shepard repeated his words with emphasis on her reinstated rank. She advanced on him with intent, forcing him to step backwards. "Do you think I need to be reminded that we've left people dying down there? Well I don't, marine! And I certainly don't need it from one of my officers."

Vega looked suitability taken aback and he nodded sheepishly. His next question was in a much more respectful tone. "What are our orders, ma'am?"

The Lieutenant's voice was still tight with tension. He'd take orders, but it didn't mean he had to like them. It was precisely the same way Shepard felt. If Anderson wanted her to speak with the Council, then she'd speak to the damn Council. She was just grateful she hadn't promised to be nice.

"We're going to the Citadel, Vega," Shepard said as she headed for the elevator. "Humanity needs all the help we can get and the Council's our best bet. They have to see that the only way we're going to defeat the Reapers is by standing together."

"Commander?" Ashley was standing at one of the terminals in the armoury. She waved Shepard over. "We've got Admiral Hackett on the line."

"Hackett?" Shepard moved quickly to the console and Ashley immediately made room for her. Onscreen was the grizzled visage of the commander of the Fifth Fleet. The feed was poor and the image kept breaking up. "Shepard here, sir. It's good to see you."

_{...Shepard,}_ Hackett replied. The screen dissolved for several seconds before being restored. Hackett's lips were moving but the only sound was the hissing of static.

"EDI, can you clean this up at all?" Shepard asked the A.I urgently.

_{Yes, Commander,}_ the A.I responded almost instantly. There was a slight pause as she worked. _{I have made the connection as clear as possible.}_

_{...awfully bad business_ ,} Hackett was saying. _{...abandoned Second Fleet...destroyed. Third and Fifth are re-grouping. We're down to...strength.}_

"Understood," Shepard replied in a tight voice. At the back of her mind she remembered Lucy Park sharing that her wife had been with the Second Fleet. She sighed, so many had been lost in such a short time. One more death should have had little impact, yet she felt strongly for the young woman she would probably never see again. "Anderson has ordered me to the Citadel to meet with the Council."

_{...those plans...hold,}_ Hackett replied. _{I need you...Prothean facility on Mars...I've got Dr...researching...means to...combat the Reapers. She might have...}_ There was a lengthy interruption in transmission _. {...find her...}_

"Mars?" Shepard repeated. His words gradually sunk in and she realised what he had just said. She gave a short nod. "Will do, Admiral."

_{Luck...Shepard,}_ Hackett said as the feed continued to deteriorate. _{...out.}_

The screen suddenly went blank and Shepard was left standing with Ashley and Vega looking over her shoulder. Getting to the Citadel was a priority, but if a means to fight the Reapers had been uncovered on Mars as Hackett suggested, it could not be ignored.

"Pilot?" Shepard immediately called up whoever was at the helm.

_{After all our time together and that's all I am to you?}_ The response was almost immediate. _{Just a glorified monkey at the wheel?}_

Shepard recognised the voice instantly. "Joker?"

_{Who else?}_ the _Normandy's_ pilot replied indignantly, as though the thought of letting anyone else fly his ship was ridiculous.

Shepard found herself with a tiny grin. Joker was where he belonged at the helm of the _Normandy_. At least one thing was right with the world.

"Set us a course for Mars, Joker. We've got a little stop to make before we leave the system." She turned to her officers. "Williams, I need a ground team suited up and ready to go in ten. We've got a scientist to rescue."

* * *

 

**Prothean Archives, Mars**

_Shepard, we need to talk._

Steeling herself by drawing in a deep breath, Liara tapped her finger on the 'send' command before she could rethink what she was doing. In an instant the message was gone and there was nothing she could do to take it back. Deep down, Liara had known for some time that she had needed to establish contact with Shepard. The months of silence between them had been slowly eating away at her until she felt like a shadow of herself. Any drive for real contact, especially of an intimate nature, had completely disappeared. While Liara had never been compelled to overtly explore her sexuality as many young asari did, in Shepard's presence she felt a very palpable desire. It took only a glance from the Commander for her entire body to feel as though it was on fire. Joining became something real as opposed to something that would take place at some undetermined time in her future when she found the right individual.

Without Shepard, she had lost all of that. It was as though a large part of her could only thrive and grow when she was with the human woman. Regardless of the imminent Reaper invasion and the possibility of galactic destruction, Liara desperately needed Shepard.

The only real internal debate had been over what to include in the message. There were so many things she wanted to say to her ex-lover. However, instead of the dozens of ways to say 'I miss you,' Liara had settled on five simple words. It was abrupt and cryptic, but it would be enough to get Shepard's attention. Whether or not the stubborn woman would reply was another matter altogether.

With the message sent, Liara felt slightly guilty about the fifteen minutes she had spent composing it. Fifteen minutes lost that she could have been carrying out the urgent work of decrypting the Prothean data she and Mendoza had found. Still, it was the only break she had taken in the past six hours.

"Dr T'Soni?" Mendoza asked quietly – he was sitting on the other side of the room. When Liara turned and looked across at him he continued. "If this device really does what it appears to do, then why did the Reapers wipe out the Protheans?"

"I don't know, Cesar," Liara replied sadly. "To answer that question you'd have to ask a Prothean. Perhaps they simply ran out of time?"

"Like we will," he stated simply. Mendoza then turned back to his screen.

Liara wanted to say something optimistic to refute his despondent comment, but the only words she could think of seemed insignificant in the circumstances. Instead she went back to work. For several minutes the two researchers continued on in silence.

The resounding beep of an incoming message alert interrupted her flow almost immediately. Her palms grew sweaty in anticipation of a reply from Shepard. After a moment's pause, she quickly brought it up. However, when she scanned to the end of the message, she saw it was just from Feron. As usual, the drell's report was abrupt and to the point.

_Something is happening. Network is going crazy with reports of hostile activity in frontier systems over the past few hours. Sorry for the delaying in informing you but establishing communication has been difficult. I think they're here, Liara. Whatever you're searching for, you had better find it fast. Feron._

"Goddess," Liara whispered.

Her quiet comment reached Mendoza. "Are you alright, Dr T'Soni?"

She didn't reply to the young researcher immediately. Instead she was trying to digest the warning in Feron's message. Her earlier conversation with Mendoza had been prophetic - they were indeed running out of time. While they had decrypted it, the actual data was still stored within the archive itself as opposed to a more portable form. If the Reapers attacked, she couldn't be sure they would overlook Mars on their way to Earth.

"I'm fine, Cesar." She didn't want to alarm him, not before it became absolutely necessary. She scanned the workstation around her but couldn't see what she was after. "Do you have a data disc?"

"Sorry, I lent my last one to Chou yesterday. Would you like me to get one?" he asked helpfully.

"Please." Liara nodded. "Ideally two. Meet me back here as soon as you can and we'll head to the archive. I think we've got the data to a point where we can download it in a usable format."

She heard the scraping of his chair and he was gone – moving quickly but not in the panic he would have been had she shared Feron's information. In hindsight, all her agonizing over the message to Shepard seemed exceptionally petty.

"Goddess," she whispered again. _Are we ready for this?_

Liara already knew the answer. Using her Shadow Broker network she had done what she could to gather information about the Reapers and funnel it to key contacts. However she had encountered immense difficulty in trying to get it through channels where it could do the most good – Alliance command, the Council and her own government.

_We're not ready. Not in the slightest. After all Shepard has done..._

Almost fifteen minutes later, Liara was beginning to wonder what was keeping Mendoza with the data discs. Feron's message had urged haste and she was sitting around wasting time they didn't have. Fearing Mendoza had been sidetracked, she decided to go looking for him. She had barely crossed the room when the door slid open. Liara darted forward to catch Mendoza as he fell. She gently laid the human on his back, finding her hands covered in blood. With enough combat experience of her own, Liara immediately recognised the damage an assault rifle did to an unarmoured body. She dragged him inside the room and immediately sealed the door behind them. It wouldn't keep out anyone for long, but it was something.

Liara scrambled back to Mendoza's side and checked his wounds. Her heart sank. Medi-gel could have eased his suffering, and urgent medical attention might have been able to save his life. However this was a research facility, this particular office held no medical supplies or weapons. All she could do was prop him up in her lap in an effort to ease his laboured breathing.

"Chou said...Dr Coré had suddenly gone crazy," Mendoza gasped. "That she'd purged the atmosphere from an entire room. I didn't believe him...went to look for myself."

Mendoza suddenly started choking on his own blood. Liara wiped it away with her sleeve but more quickly replaced it.

"There were soldiers, executing people...they shot Chou. His head just..." Mendoza paused and coughed again. "I got caught up in a group...we were running...ran straight into them. I managed to stumble into an elevator."

"Stop talking, Cesar," Liara whispered. She could hear more shooting beyond their room. It was close. She knew she needed to get to the archives but she couldn't leave Mendoza to bleed out and die on the floor alone. "You need to rest."

"It doesn't really...hurt as much as it did," he gasped. He looked up at her with a trusting gaze. "Will I be okay, Dr T'Soni?"

Liara stroked a straggly clump of hair out of his eyes. She was very good at lying, but she couldn't bring herself to do it at that moment. "Close your eyes," she told him gently. "I'm not going anywhere, Cesar."

"I don't want to close my eyes."

She could barely hear him speak, his voice was so faint.

"If I'm going to die...at least I want something beautiful to look at."

Liara couldn't contain a sudden, choking burst of tears. She didn't think of herself as beautiful, not by asari standards anyway, but she was gratified to think that she could give Mendoza a little bit of comfort – even if he was delirious.

His eyes were still open a minute later, but he wasn't looking at anything. Liara gently eased his dead body from her lap. A liberal amount of the young man's blood covered her outfit, but she could not think about that, nor could she speculate as to who had attacked the station. Her sole concern was to get to the archive.

Easing herself out of the office, Liara slipped down the corridor beyond. She didn't bother with cover, only speed. As she ran, she mentally prepared herself to flare up her biotics at a moment's notice. The gun shots were now a constant companion. Sometimes it was a single shot, at others it was an assault rifle on full automatic. Muffled explosions also echoed through the walls. Liara's jaw tightened. The bulk of the station's staff were civilian scientists - unarmed, easy targets. Someone was slaughtering them without mercy.

She already knew that any force would have had difficulty in gaining access to the base without internal help. A suspicion had already formed in her mind as to who was behind the attack. It was confirmed a split second later as she rounded a corner and almost ran headfirst into a trio of soldiers, each with the yellow logo of Cerberus on their armour.

"Stop!" one commanded, raising the pistol in his grip.

Even as their weapons trained on her, Liara generated the largest mass effect field she could in a split second. With a cry of rage and desperation, she slammed the soldiers with as much force as she was able. They were knocked back like cardboard, clattering to the floor and lying in stunned heaps. The concussion had probably killed the one nearest her. Liara continued moving in a straight line. It was the fastest path to the archive. As she passed the Cerberus troopers, she snatched up a fallen pistol. One was already groggily struggling to stand again when she risked a glance over her shoulder. Pursuit would follow swiftly. She pushed herself to run faster.

Not wanting to make the same mistake of running directly into the path of more troopers, Liara slowed herself to peer around the next corner. With her breath coming in gasps, she pressed her body against the wall and risked a small peek. She let out an involuntary groan when she saw the corridor blocked by no fewer than six Cerberus soldiers, a heavily armoured centurion among them. Her groan turned to a gasp of horror when she saw two scientists on their knees in front of them. She immediately recognised Dr Holt. Before she could react, one of the troopers shot Holt and his companion. In the opposite direction, two of the soldiers she had attacked earlier had managed to regain their senses. One spotted her. Liara scrambled into a room just as a burst of rifle fire sprayed the spot she had been standing. She sealed the door behind her and scanned her surroundings.

"Not good, T'Soni!"

In her haste she'd neglected to notice that the room she had taken refuge in had no other exit. Liara needed to avoid falling into the clutches of Cerberus. If they were working with Dr Coré then they no doubt were aware that she was on the station. Her capture was no doubt a priority.

High on the wall was a large ventilation duct. Having no time for finesse, Liara blasted the cover off with several shots from her pistol. She was just levering herself into the duct when she heard the urgent stamp of booted feet in the corridor outside the room. Seconds later, the door exploded inwards and the entire duct rattled dangerously as she pulled her body into it, heaving herself upwards with all her strength.

Inside, there was only room enough for her to manage an awkward, crab-like crawl. Her biotics would probably serve to bring down the entire duct – with her still inside. Over the sound of her own desperate movements, Liara heard loud clanging behind her. The duct shook again and continued shaking. She could hear the telltale sound of armour pounding against metal as the Cerberus troopers pursued her into the narrow confines of the duct. With no room to manoeuvre or do anything except continue to crawl as fast as she possibly could, Liara made her way blindly. For the moment all she could think about was putting as much distance between herself and her pursuers. However, despite her struggles, they seemed to be gaining rapidly. A glance over her shoulder was met with several bullets as they caught up to her. Liara dragged herself around another corner. Although still exhausted, getting out of the duct now seemed to be the best course of action. She could only hope that Cerberus wouldn't already be waiting for her down below. Bullets were pinging around the shaft as Liara quickly checked the diverging paths of a T-junction in the duct. One direction was solidly blocked by a whirling fan. To her relief, she saw a grate to her left. She scrambled quickly down the last desperate metres to the exit. She rolled onto her back and brought her boots hard against the grate. It went flying outwards and she followed a split second later. She hit the ground and leapt over several barrels in her path. Finally, with room to move, she spun in a graceful movement. Her arm came up and she launched an intense mass effect field upwards at the exit to the duct. A singularity opened and caught the two troopers at their moment of exit. They were immediately swept into it and held helplessly in mid-air. She drew her borrowed pistol and shot both troopers before the field died and sent them dropping like stones.

Through cold, unfeeling eyes, Liara stared at the two Cerberus soldiers as they writhed in pain on the ground. With two strides she closed the short distance between them and brought her pistol to bear on the head of the nearest. She calmly squeezed the trigger twice. Just as methodically she moved to the second and pumped two bullets through his helmet. Blood started pooling out from the dead soldier's helmets as she stood staring down at them. Firm footsteps sounded on the metal floor behind her and Liara spun, her biotics already flaring up once again. However, when she saw the group approaching her from the other side of the room, the mass effect field died on her fingers before it had even established.

The pistol dropped limply to her side as she stared at one of them in particular. Her body surrendered to a flood of emotion as she studied the intimately familiar face. She did not even fight the burning tears in her eyes.

"Hello, Shepard."

 


	6. A Fucking Big Storm

**_Nos Astra, Illium_ **

_As she walked through the bustling Nos Astran trading floor, Shepard was reminded exactly why she didn't like the place. The bustling crowds and lack of greenery reminded her uncomfortably of her childhood as a Navy-brat. She had bounced from space port to space station while her mother was transferred between various Alliance posts. Each one had been different, and yet exactly the same. Nos Astra, and Illium in general, also suffered from being a commercial haven. It seemed as though everything and every individual were focused on making money – as much as they could and as quickly as possible. As a soldier Shepard had never cared for the stuff, nor needed much of it. Planning for her future wasn't exactly something that she had time to do, especially when she had already died once._

" _You know you don't have to do this."_

_Shepard looked across at Miranda Lawson as they walked. The Cerberus Operative had perfected the art of hiding any emotion in her voice. It was impossible to tell whether she was speaking out of concern or some sort of self-motivation. With Miranda it was prudent to suspect the latter – especially when it came to something that could potentially distract Shepard from Cerberus' priorities. Shepard readily admitted to herself that she was distracted from the mission at hand. Liara was here. Finding a way through the Omega-4 relay could wait._

" _I could have delivered the information," Miranda continued. "Or Garrus. You're not the only person Liara trusts you know."_

_Shepard glanced across at Garrus and the scarred Turian responded with a shrug of his broad shoulders. Although she had never explicitly told him, it was obvious that he knew how she felt about Liara. He was just too polite to question her about it – as opposed to someone like Ashley Williams who had just blatantly voiced her opinions as soon as she suspected something. Garrus appeared unwilling to be dragged into this particular debate._

" _Liara was...is a good friend," Shepard replied, trying to keep her nerves out of her voice. "There's no reason why I can't do this."_

_Miranda sniffed so quietly it almost went unheard. Shepard picked it up and suddenly stopped walking. She turned on the operative, struggling to maintain a veneer of calm._

" _What is this about, Lawson?" she demanded quietly. "Over the past month I have done everything Cerberus has asked of me. I think I've been patient enough. I'm seeing Liara T'Soni whether you like it or not."_

" _You need to  see reason, Shepard," Miranda's tone finally shifted. Hints of frustration crept into her voice. "You think you can just stroll back into her life and have things the way they were before you died? You were dead for two years. People move on, they change."_

_Shepard was momentarily taken aback. However she soon realised that she ought not to be surprised that Miranda knew about her relationship with Liara. Garrus was meanwhile pretending to be extremely interested in a Galactic news bulletin some distance behind them. Shepard grabbed Miranda by the elbow and dragged her out of the stream of foot traffic._

" _I don't know how you found out about my relationship with Liara, but it's none of your damn business," Shepard growled. "None whatsoever!"_

" _You talked...while you were under sedation," Miranda replied quietly. "I assure you that no one else in Cerberus knows, not even the Illusive Man."_

" _I don't get it, Miranda." Shepard frowned. "Sometimes I get the sense that you might be a friend. Then I remind myself that you only act in Cerberus' best interests."_

" _Shepard, I know it doesn't feel as though it has been over two years for you but for her it has..." Miranda let out a groan of frustration and she moved away a few paces. "I need to stop talking-"_

" _Yes, you do," Shepard fired back. "I'd appreciate it if you left this to me. Go and grab a drink with Garrus, I don't give a fuck, as long as you don't come with me."_

_With a last steady glare at Miranda, Shepard turned to continue walking towards Liara's office._

" _Shepard!" Miranda called out after she had only gone a few metres._

_Shepard gritted her teeth. "What?"_

" _Just don't expect...anything."_

_She didn't give Miranda the satisfaction of a reply as she continued walking away. If Shepard was being honest with herself, she would have admitted that she did have certain expectations. While these didn't extend as far as picking up exactly where she left off with Liara, she had hoped that the asari would be pleased to see her. She now wondered if even that was too much to ask._

_When she arrived at Liara's office, her assistant indicated that she was expecting her. She could go straight in. Shepard hesitated for a moment. Her palms were sweaty and her heart thumped loudly in her chest. It would have been  less nerve-wracking to walk into a room full of pissed off krogan. Aware of the assistant's eyes on her back, Shepard bit her lip and walked towards the door. It slid open to reveal a fairly standard office layout. A few potted plants, non-descript art on the walls and a very large desk in front of the window. However Shepard saw very little of the surroundings, she had eyes only for the asari sitting behind the desk._

_Liara stood almost as soon as Shepard walked into the room, but she did not move out from behind her desk. Shepard was having difficulty seeing anything else. She was used to seeing Liara in a science uniform or armour, not wearing traditional asari dress._

_The whole situation was ridiculous. She had seen Liara naked, seeing her in a dress should hardly have an effect on her. However her knees were weak and she felt a keen sensation of sexual longing, something she had not felt since waking up on Lazarus Station._

" _Hello, Shepard," Liara said quietly._

_At the sound of Liara's voice, Shepard swallowed quickly. Her throat was so dry it felt like she had swallowed dust. Liara's tone was warm, but distant. Although only two words had been spoken, volumes had been said. Liara had not called her 'Shepard' since before they had joined. It was always Evan...or Evangeline when she was in a certain, playful mood._

_The room started spinning. Eventually she had to look away, anywhere but at Liara – at least until she heard the door close behind her. Even then she had to give herself a few more moments before she lifted her gaze. She looked up just in time to see Liara venturing out from behind her desk. Unwilling to leave her safe zone altogether, the asari continued to hover close by it. Liara's expression was impassive, but Shepard could tell how nervous and scared she was by watching her furtive movements. Her gaze was continually darting downwards. In one moment Liara would take a step towards her, only to immediately retreat. Her hands were clutched together in front of her in an effort to keep them still._

_Liara had never truly appreciated how difficult this moment would be if it ever came. The soldier standing in the middle of her office looked like Shepard – although with shorter hair and faint, glowing scars creasing her face. Everything else was the same, from the consistently serious expression to the battered armour that made her look as though she had stepped straight off the battlefield. The old urge to push her into a sonic shower, armour and all, returned and would have made her laugh if not for the gravity of their encounter. It was the scars that disconcerted her most. A palpable reminder of what Cerberus had done to Shepard._

" _Hey, Liara," Shepard finally replied._

_Even though it was slightly hoarse, the voice sounded exactly like the one Liara remembered. However, instead of replying, she turned her back on Shepard. She had grieved for two years. In reality, she was still grieving even though the person she had lost was now standing in front of her. Despite desperately not wanting to fall to pieces Liara slumped forward, buried her face in her hands, and dissolved into quiet tears. Knowing that her carefully constructed image was in danger of crumbling, the information broker quickly squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. There was little she could do about the tears._

_She heard Shepard's boots tapping lightly on the floor behind her as she moved closer. However, when Liara sensed something reaching out towards her, she turned. She avoided Shepard's reassuring touch and instead held up both hands to ward her off._

" _Please...I-I cannot do this. Not now," Liara protested in a weak voice. "Not here."_

" _Okay," Shepard replied immediately – trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible._

_Every fibre in her being was screaming at her to fold Liara in her arms, but instead she took a step away. With the added distance between them, Liara relaxed visibly._

" _It is good to see you," Liara said after a few moments, her eyes were still glistening._

_Your reaction would seem to suggest otherwise, Shepard did not share this thought out loud. Instead she simply nodded. "You too, Liara. You look..."_ Amazing, breathtakingly beautiful _. "...well."_

_Shepard clenched and unclenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms to remind herself that she wasn't dreaming this. She then awkwardly held out the data pad she carried and motioned for Liara to take it._

_While Liara read the information, Shepard watched the play of emotions across her face. Clearly whatever information Cerberus had seen fit to pass to Liara was important to her. After a minute she lifted her gaze. Shepard couldn't help but smile at the sight. It was just the merest lifting of the corner of her lips. She was taken aback when Liara responded likewise._

" _We need to talk." Sheppard surprised herself by being bold enough to state the obvious._

" _I know," Liara replied softly, she didn't take her eyes off Shepard. "I know...Evan."_

_Shepard had to fight back a grin...or was it tears? Words couldn't express how it felt to hear her name on Liara's lips again._

_Liara's expression was now sombre. She drew in a breath. "But first I need to ask for your help."_

" _Are you in trouble," was Shepard's first thought._

_The asari shook her head slowly. "No, but a friend is. I need your help to save his life."_

" _Sounds like another day at the office," quipped Shepard. "What's the catch?"_

" _Will you help me bring down the Shadow Broker?" Liara asked calmly._

_Shepard inadvertently lifted her eyebrows. The earnest expression on Liara's face indicated that she was perfectly serious. It wasn't difficult to come up with an answer. It was Liara._

_"Sounds like fun."_

* * *

 

**Prothean Archives, Mars**

Shepard stared out of the window of the shuttle at the approaching storm front and scowled. The storm front was massive and would engulf Mars station in less than an hour. After that, communication with the Normandy would be almost impossible and they'd likely have to ride out the storm on the ground. She knew she didn't have a few days going spare to sit around and wait for the weather to clear. Timing was critical. Go in, get the researcher out and continue on to the Citadel. It was imperative that she spoke to the Council as soon as possible. The quicker help could come for Earth, the more people would be saved. They were probably being cut to pieces while she was attempting to rescue a scientist.

_Whatever they've found, it better be damn well worth it_ , Shepard thought, grinding her teeth. She slapped Lieutenant Steve Cortez, _Normandy's_ shuttle pilot, on the shoulder. "Did you have any luck raising the base?"

"None, Alliance personnel, civilians, no one's answering, ma'am," he replied.

"Right. Stay on your toes, Cortez. We're not staying here a minute longer than necessary."

"Yes, ma'am," the Lieutenant responded with a nod.

She stepped back into the rear compartment where the small ground team were performing last minute checks on their weapons and hardsuits. The Normandy had been left in Joker's moderately capable hands, while she had picked Williams, Vega, Corporal Duquesne and Private Brake to accompany her. She'd barely met the two marines, but Williams vouched for the calibre of both. Shepard picked up her own M-96 Mattock assault rifle – capable of packing a punch despite its limited rate of fire. The only other weapons she carried were the reliable Carnifex pistol and a handful of frag grenades. With the pistol stowed and the rifle in her hands, Shepard turned to her squadmates.

"We haven't been able to raise Mars since leaving Earth so I'm not sure what we're going to find," Sheppard advised them. "Plus we've got a fucking big storm rolling in."

"Is 'fucking big' a technical term, ma'am?" Duquesne asked with a grin. The plucky corporal was clearly unfazed by being in the company of the infamous Commander Shepard.

"It's the only technical term I need to know," she replied, picking up her helmet. "When we hit the ground, make for the Mars approach, expect anything. I'll take point. Helmets on people!"

Each of them snapped their helmets into place as Cortez set the shuttle down smoothly on the barren red rock of Mars. With thumbs up indicating they were good to go, the door lifted and the four of them filed quickly out into the harsh environment.

Puffs of red dust rose up with each footfall as Shepard moved quickly towards the base in the distance. She kept her rifle tucked into her shoulder but with the muzzle lowered so she could have a clear field of view. Off to her right, the storm front seemed bigger now that she was out of the confines of the shuttle. The dust was rolling in like a giant wall. A quick glance confirmed that the rest of her squad had fanned out in a compact, well-drilled formation. Well trained eyes repeatedly swept the landscape.

The distinctive sound of weapons fire nearby caused all the squad to instinctively respond. As Shepard and Duquesne pushed forward, Ashley and Brake took up covering positions. The first thing Shepard noticed was movement down on the approach to the Mars base. Heavily armoured assault troopers had surrounded a small group of Alliance marines. The marines had obviously surrendered but were in the process of being summarily executed one by one. The brutality enraged Shepard and she charged forward without bothering to seek cover.

"Williams, Brake, flanking fire! The rest of you, with me!" she ordered as she lifted her rifle and levelled it towards the men down below.

They were too late to save the last of the Alliance personnel. Just before the _Normandy_ squad opened fire, the remaining soldier was gunned down. Shepard cursed and jammed her finger on the trigger. The Mattock roared into life, followed a split second later by the rest of her squad. In the first hail of bullets from the experienced soldiers, the bulk of the attacking force went down, either killed outright or severely wounded. The rest scattered desperately for cover.

Shepard's boots thudded urgently on the ground as she scrambled forward. She slammed her body into the cover of a rocky outcrop just as the surviving hostiles below returned fire. Bullets struck the rocks all around her position, throwing up clouds of red dust and obscuring her view. She heard the heavy bark of Ashley's sniper rifle and clearly saw the result - one helmet exploding in a spray of red. With Ashley picking off targets at whim and Brake laying a suppressing fire, Shepard crouched low and moved forward to the next piece of cover. With the need for speed foremost in her mind, her actions were more reckless than usual. She couldn't afford for them to get bogged down for any length of time. A figure was crouched behind a rock only ten metres in front of her position. Occasionally he would pop up and fire a short burst in the direction of her squadmates. Shepard extended her omni-blade and rushed forward. She covered the short distance smoothly and rapidly. By the time he heard her approaching it was too late. She leapt towards him, drawing her arm back at the same time. In one savage motion she thrust the blade downwards, driving it straight through a gap in the armour plates around his neck and down into his body. Before his body hit the ground, she was looking for her next target. The omni-blade retracted and she lifted her rifle to send a spray of bullets in the direction of two more troopers crouched behind a nearby vehicle. One went down clutching at his leg. She continued pushing forward. Behind her, Duquesne fired a concussive shot from her Vendetta assault rifle. It sent both troopers flying out of cover. Ashley then drilled a shot straight through the helmet of one from distance while Shepard rushed the second. Her blade slammed into his chest and the brief, furious fire fight was over.

With the opportunity to take an unobstructed look at the bodies of the troopers, Shepard saw that they were all wearing the yellow logo of Cerberus on their armour.

"What the hell? These goons are Cerberus." It was a fact that wasn't lost on Ashley as she came up to stand next to her. She turned to Shepard with a stormy expression behind her faceplate. "Do you know what is going on? Why are your buddies here?"

"Firstly, Ash, they're not my buddies." Shepard kicked the nearest body with the toe of her boot. "And I have no idea why Cerberus would be here."

"You worked for them!" Ashley dredged up the same anger she had displayed on Horizon. That anger had obviously remained, simmering under the surface even as they attempted to repair their working relationship. "And now they're here, gunning down Alliance troops. Whose side are you on?"

Shepard was angry too. She had seen everything unfold with her own eyes. The actions of the Cerberus troops had been clinical and premeditated. While she had first-hand experience of the organisation's ruthless tactics, executing humans was not their mandate. Ashley's accusations were only fuelling that anger.

"Stow it, Williams!" Shepard growled as she pushed past the dead Cerberus troopers. "I don't have time to get into this right now. Our priority is finding that scientist and whatever data they've uncovered that could help us win against the Reapers. My past history with Cerberus is just that, past history!"

"Yes, ma'am," Ashley replied sullenly.

Shepard ignored the continuing undercurrent in the LC's voice. She knew that Cerberus harboured an agenda that went well beyond what she had been privy to during her time with them. It had only ever been a relationship of convenience. Cerberus had provided her with a ship and a crew to stop the Collectors. She'd blown the Collector base to hell against the wishes of the Illusive Man and had turned her back on them. As she moved quickly along the rough track, Sheppard couldn't entirely suppress her uneasy thoughts. As far as she was concerned, her relationship with Cerberus was over. However in reality Cerberus had rebuilt her, given her a second life. Her relationship with them would never be over.

They ran into a second group of Cerberus soldiers guarding the main entrance to the facility. With a steady barrage of concussive shots driving them from cover and some short work from Ashley's sniper rifle, the troops were dispatched without difficulty. Shepard already had her suspicions that someone had helped them from the inside. There was no reason for an Alliance station to go silent so quickly with such a small forced being thrown against them. If that was the case then the likelihood of finding the scientist still alive and the data intact was diminishing rapidly.

Once inside the main building with the airlock closed behind them, they were able to remove their helmets. Shepard found her hair plastered to her head with sweat from the bouts of combat. Standing beside her, Ashley refused to catch her eye. It was a distraction that Shepard could not afford to deal with. She wasn't going to waste time arguing with the other marine. The only way to prove that she was telling the truth would be through her actions.

There was tell-tale evidence of fighting throughout the first few rooms they explored. Mostly this was in the form of dead Alliance personnel and civilian researchers. All had wounds indicating that they had been caught by surprise.

"Nasty business," Brake commented as he pressed his palm to a door they had reached.

"Agreed," Shepard said as she moved through the door, weapon levelled. "I'm betting that Cerberus is here for exactly the same reason we are. We haven't got much time."

The four of them moved into a large, open room that served as the stations garage. A few ATVs were parked there. Shepard was making her way around one when she heard loud, urgent banging sounds above their heads. The squad moved into cover as the sound intensified. It was coming from a large air duct suspended from the ceiling. As Shepard watched, the grate at the end of the duct burst outward and a swift moving shape emerged. She caught a flash of a figure scrambling and turning before she let loose with a singularity that sucked in the Cerberus troopers trying to get out of the duct. With calculated calm, the asari drew her pistol and gunned them down without mercy.

As she did, Shepard moved out from behind the ATV so she could confirm what she already knew. It was Dr Liara T'Soni. She lowered her rifle and straightened up to standing as she walked forward. Beside her, Brake was levelling his Vendetta at Liara as he advanced.

"Weapons down, marine." Shepard held up her hand in front of the private's face. "I think we've found our missing Prothean expert."

Liara obviously heard them approaching and turned as though she expected more Cerberus troopers. A blue mass effect field danced on her fingers in preparation for another biotic attack. As soon as she saw Shepard this was extinguished.

"Hello, Shepard," she said softly.

The initial sight of her ex-lover had knocked her back slightly. However as Shepard walked towards her, she realised she was feeling a wave of relief. If she had known that Liara was the scientist they were being sent to retrieve then she would have pushed through the Cerberus troopers with absolutely no regard for her own safety. While she was confident that the talented asari could look after herself, the station was crawling with heavily armed soldiers.

"Liara," Shepard replied as she stopped within a few metres. "Are you okay?"

With a nod in response, Liara put her pistol away for something to do. Shepard was still staring at her. It was difficult not to lift her gaze and get lost in those pale blue eyes. It had been months since they had seen each other, after defeating the Shadow Broker. Their last conversation had been a heated argument where both had been guilty of saying things they shouldn't have. They were issues that Liara had wanted to discuss in the subsequent months. It was why she had sent the short email to Shepard. However, any reconciliatory talks had been interrupted by the arrival of the Reapers. Now they were here in each other's presence and all the unspoken words were simmering in the air around them. She was grateful when Ashley stepped up.

"Hey, Liara." Ashley did not sense the tension between her Commander and the asari. "Do you have any idea why these Cerberus goons are here? Why they were after you?"

"I do," Liara replied immediately. Ashley's words reminded her that they had little time for her and Shepard to dance around each other. "They are after what we have uncovered here."

"Great, some answers," Duquesne piped up. The corporal seemed to constantly be wearing a grin, whether the situation called for it or not.

"This had better be good," Shepard heard herself say. "Earth is currently having the crap kicked out of it and we're supposed to be on our way to the Citadel to rally the other races."

Liara did not respond to the bitterness in Shepard's tone, instead her omni-tool flared to life and brought up the scans of the device she and Mendoza had uncovered. "It is good...or at least, it has the potential to be."

"Something to fight the Reapers with?" Duquesne asked hopefully.

Liara shrugged noncommittally. "Possibly, although I do not want to be responsible for false hope. There are plans for some sort of device that the Protheans developed. Analysis has shown that it has the potential to generate destructive power on a vast scale when fully constructed."

"Fucking fantastic," Shepard said. "Now can we get out of here?"

Liara gave Shepard a quick glare. "Cerberus launched their attack before my assistant and I were able to download the data. It's currently still residing within the archive." She pointed out the nearby window which offered them a wide view of the rest of the station. "The archive is there, across that tramway...but I would bet my life on it that Cerberus is covering every aspect of the approach. I tried to make it there myself but there were too many."

"Hence getting yourself trapped in an air duct?" Shepard pointed out.

"For your information I had everything under control!" Liara replied angrily. "I did not ask for Hackett to send you." She then took a deep breath and calmed herself down. She didn't want to lose her temper in front of Shepard's crewmembers. "I am sorry about Earth, Shepard."

"Thanks. It was rough," Shepard replied, grateful that at least one of them had some sense. She drove personal issues out of her mind. They were here to do a job, not reopen old wounds. "Do you have any ideas?"

Liara nodded. "It will not get us all the way to the tram, but we can use external maintenance scaffolding to make our way to the controls. It should allow us to bypass the heaviest concentration of Cerberus forces."

"Unless they've already thought of that," Ashley helpfully pointed out.

With Liara leading the way, their small force quickly made their way to an airlock that would lead them out onto the station's exterior. Once back outside, Sheppard was visibly reminded of the encroaching storm heading towards the station. They were running out of time in more ways than one. She pushed them all hard as their feet thudded on dusty gangways. They scrambled up ladders, all the while keeping a look out for any Cerberus activity – anything that could trap them outside. To be caught outside the station when the storm hit would probably be fatal.

They made their way to a distant airlock without incident. Liara expressed surprise that it was already open. Usually such doors remained sealed unless in extreme circumstances. As soon as they made their way back into the station, the result of the airlock's opening became immediately evident. Cerberus had vented a large room with the station staff still inside. With no air, the people in the room had asphyxiated. Shepard looked down at the bodies and swallowed uncomfortably. It wasn't a pleasant way to die, she knew that from experience.

Their path was blocked by assault troopers and Guardians – Cerberus troopers who carried heavy metal shields impossible to penetrate with small arms fire. However Liara's biotic powers stripped their shields away and left them vulnerable to a hail of gunfire. They were cut down immediately by the small force advancing towards the tram. Once back inside the stations atmosphere, they removed their stuffy helmets once again.

Shepard was on point so she didn't have to look at Liara. It made for a convenient arrangement as she was able to concentrate on not getting shot.

"You sure come in handy, Blue," Vega commented to Liara as they continued moving.

"Thank you," Liara replied politely.

"Hey…" he began uncertainly. "I'm Lieutenant James Vega. I know it's not the best circumstances for introductions but I can't just say 'hey you' now can I?"

Liara nodded. "Dr Liara T'Soni…or…Blue if you prefer."

Although she wouldn't admit it to Shepard, Liara was grateful for the support. The _Normandy_ squad teamed together to provide a sort of human battering ram. Despite what she had said earlier about having everything under control, there was no way that she would have made it to the archive alone. Even together, they were going to be hard pressed to make it before Cerberus could offload the data.

"You were part of the Commander's old _Normandy_ SR-1 crew?" Vega continued.

"I was," Liara replied simply.

With her pistol at the ready she followed Shepard around a corner. If Vega had been expecting more of an answer, he was obviously not going to get it from the source.

"The doctor had managed to get herself trapped in a barrier on a shit hole named Therum and we had to haul her ass out of there," Ashley added, having overheard the conversation. Given her earlier spat with the Commander, she wasn't in a particularly friendly frame of mind. "One look at her all helpless and trapped like that was enough to make the Commander weak at the knees."

Thankfully for Ashley's sake, both Liara and Shepard were slightly out of earshot as they moved ahead. Vega knew Ashley was out of line to make such a comment, but his curiosity was definitely piqued. In the six months he'd guarded Shepard in the brig, she had volunteered little about herself, and nothing about her private life.

"The Commander and the asari?" he asked sceptically. "I always figured her for a 'married to the corps' type."

Ashley covered Shepard up ahead as she opened a door. She shook her head in response to Vega. "Well, she must have a thing for aliens with doctorates or something."

"Huh," he commented. "They don't seem too happy to see each other now."

Ashley had to agree with him on that count. Although Liara was following Shepard closely, she seemed to maintain a strict distance. It was almost as though she wanted to move closer, but was afraid. "I can't fill you in on that. I was out of the loop while the Commander was in Cerberus' pockets."

"You should let that shit go, Williams," Vega replied seriously, also well aware that Private Brake could probably overhear their inappropriate conversation. "The Commander was under strict surveillance for months. I can assure you that she's had no contact with Cerberus...and I believe her when she says she doesn't want anything more to do with them. You know her even better than I do, trust her."

"I don't take orders from you, _Lieutenant_ ," Ashley replied.

"No, but you should take them from Shepard," he continued. "She's your CO."

Neither of them had the opportunity to argue the matter further as Shepard held up a fist to indicate a halt. They had reached the room with the tram controls. The tram itself was currently unloading another squad of Cerberus troopers, no doubt to hunt down the Alliance team which they would have been alerted to by that stage.

With quick hand movements, Sheppard instructed the squad to take up flanking positions. She and Liara would go in from the front. Liara's biotic abilities would combine well with Shepard's grunt and firepower. Ashley switched out her sniper rifle for the Vendetta she carried as she moved into position. For close range combat, James chose a shotgun over his Mattock.

Liara struck first, unleashing a warp attack on the leading centurion. As the heavily armoured trooper went flying, Shepard punished his armour with rapid bursts from her weapon. Operating together from different sides, Vega and Ashley took out a combat engineer who was attempting to set up his automated turret. With its operator taken out, the turret was destroyed before it could establish its deadly fire on their small attacking force.

With the crossfire keeping Cerberus pinned down, Shepard and Liara advanced. The combination of biotics and firepower rooted even the most tenacious troopers out of their cover. Only a pair of advancing Guardians was able to withstand the attack for any length of time. Liara threw them both backwards but before Shepard could cut their armour to ribbons, they managed to re-establish themselves. Shepard fired a concussive shot at one. The trooper stumbled and Ashley was able to get a clear shot. Even with a Vendetta instead of her sniper rifle, the expert marksman only needed a short burst to his head.

Vega moved out from behind his cover as another group of Cerberus troopers came rushing to join the fray. Two powerful shots sent a group of assault troopers scurrying for cover, leaving one of their number dead on the ground.

The remaining centurion dropped a smoke grenade, filling the control room with a thick, impenetrable smoke. Bullets whizzed around Shepard as she used the cover to approach the spot where she thought the centurion would be. She heard him as opposed to seeing anything. It was the distinctive sound of a fresh thermal clip being rammed into a weapon. Her omni-blade extended accompanied by a powerful buzz. There was a frantically scrambling as the centurion heard his attacker. However, before he could bring up his weapon to fire at her, Shepard was on him. She slashed him across his helmet. The helmet shattered and he stumbled backwards. A second melee attacked was enough to finish him off. Shepard paused to listen to the sounds of a fight reaching its final stages. There were a few more short bursts from Ashley's Vendetta, the thud of Vega's shotgun and then no more shots were fired. A few seconds later one of Liara's singularities collapsed and the room was largely silent.

As Shepard stepped over the body of the centurion she had just killed, she inadvertently glanced down. His ruined helmet had been torn away and his face was laid bare. What she saw no longer looked like a normal soldier. His face was scarred with cybernetics, nothing like the careful work beneath Shepard's own skin. This appeared disfiguring and brutal.

"Shit," Ashley commented when she joined Shepard and saw what she was looking at. "What have they done to him?"

"I don't know," Shepard replied warily, waiting for another attack from Ashley.

Instead the Lieutenant-Commander looked at her and said in a relieved voice, "That could have been you."

"Yeah," Shepard replied, grateful for the change in Ashley's tone. "But it's not. I'm me, Ash. The same Shepard you met on Eden Prime."

"I know," Ashley said, slamming in a fresh thermal clip. "You're just as much a pain in the ass now as you were then."

Shepard grinned before turning her attention to the tram. "Come on people, we've got to get this wrapped up. Let's do what we what came here for."

Although each member of the team was on high alert for an attack as they made their way across the tramway, they encountered no resistance. They exited on the other side and Liara led them through into the Prothean archive. Although Sheppard did not have Liara's immense wealth of Prothean knowledge, she was intimately familiar with the extinct race after her encounter with their beacon. The data storage device that Mars station had been constructed around was immense. It rose up out of the chamber in front of them. Shepard instructed her squad to take up covering positions while she and Liara approached the main console.

"I am glad you came for me, Shepard," Liara commented as she went to work, her fingers moved rapidly as she keyed in commands.

"I didn't even know it was you Hackett had sent here," Shepard replied honestly. "Although I guess a part of me should have known."

"I am one of the foremost experts on the Protheans after all," was Liara's matter-of-fact answer. "When Admiral Hackett asked me to research into the archive, see if there was anything we could use to defeat the Reapers, there was no question of me saying no. I've been here for two months. I can't lose all this work..." Liara's voice trailed off sadly.

"You knew the people here?" Shepard again felt the urge to touch her.

"Some of them, most not very well. I kept to myself except for my assistant, Cesar. He was killed by..." Liara paused as she remembered what Mendoza had told her as he lay dying. At the same time, she noticed something very wrong happening within the archive. "Goddess, everything is being erased...Dr Coré!"

"Who?"

Liara turned to Shepard. "Before he died my assistant told me that Dr Eva Coré, a visiting scientist like myself, had attacked the staff. In my efforts to escape Cerberus it had left my mind. She's behind this, and unless I am very wrong, she's destroying the data!"

"Fuck it, I haven't fought my way here for nothing!" Shepard hissed. "Williams! Look sharp, we've got company."

Ashley had already moved some distance around the catwalk surrounding the archive. There was a slight sound coming from a nearby console booth as she approached. Advancing quickly, she lifted her rifle and moved past the partition. Standing at the console was a woman, she was keying in commands just as Liara was working to uncover the data.

"Get away from there!" Ashley demanded.

At first Ashley had underestimated the women. She was slight as opposed to muscular and looked as though she wouldn't have the strength to fight anyone off. However before Ashley could react, she found herself on the receiving end of a wicked kick to her jaw. The faceplate of her helmet smashed and her head snapped back. In front of her, Dr Eva Coré plunged her omni-tool down into the console and destroyed it.

"I have what we need," she said into her radio as she advanced on a stunned Ashley. "Returning to base."

"Well done," said the distant voice on the other end.

Shepard and Liara had heard Ashley's initial shout and the resulting struggle. They were still some distance away when they saw the woman advance on Ashley. Shepard's legs were pumping furiously but she could only look on it horror Dr Coré drew out her pistol and levelled it at the LC as she struggled to orientate herself. She fired a brace of shots at point-blank range before looking back to see additional pursuers advancing on her.

With a cry of rage and frustration, Shepard sprayed almost an entire clip from her Mattock in the direction of the Cerberus operative. Giving that she was angry and running, the shots failed to hit their target. Dr Eva Coré turned and started sprinting towards the nearest exit. Shepard reached Ashley, she saw the blood covering the soldier's chest and she slowed. However if she stopped to help Ashley, then she would lose her target.

"Liara, help her!" she yelled.

It almost ripped her heart out to leave Ashley lying on the ground but the priority was the Prothean data that Cerberus had stolen. Ahead of her, Dr Coré spun and fired an incinerate burst in her direction. Shepard was forced to dive for cover before the attack could disintegrate her armour. She only paused behind the cover for a few seconds before scrambling to her feet to continue the pursuit. The distance between them had already increased and Shepard had a sinking feeling that she would never catch the abnormally fast moving woman while running in her armour. However, Vega suddenly emerged from the opposite direction, having moved the other way around the archive. He was in front of Dr Coré. As she lifted her arm to shoot, his shot gun erupted once. He reloaded quickly and fired again. She went sprawling backwards and hit the ground with a dull thud.

"Nice work, Vega," Shepard said, slightly out of breath as she ran to join him. "Although it would have been better if she was still alive.'

"I don't know if she was ever alive, Commander," Vega said as he looked down at the body of the doctor.

When Shepard followed his gaze, she realised what he was talking about. The shotgun pellets had ripped through Dr Coré's clothing and skin, however it was not flesh beneath. It was most evident on her face, a large flap of skin revealed a shining metal beneath. She was some sort of mobile A.I.

"Shit," Shepard exclaimed. She gave the body a kick and it felt nothing like a real body. Her boot thunked as though it had come into contact with something very solid.

"Shepard!" It was Liara yelling at her. "We've got to get Ashley back to the _Normandy_...now!"

"Ash," Shepard whispered. She turned back to Vega. "Pick up that thing and bring it with us. Hopefully EDI and Liara can salvage the data."

Her run back to Ashley's side was frantic. She found Liara applying medi-gel with her omni-tool, but there was little else they could do in the field. Ashley's shields had absorbed the brunt of the damage, but at least two of the shots had penetrated her chestplate. The armour was gashed apart and beneath Shepard could see the mess it had made of Ashley's chest. Although she was still conscious, her face was already draining of colour.

"Sorry...Skipper," Ashley grunted in a whisper.

"Don't be, we got the bitch thanks to you. Now we're going to get you out of here."

As gently as possible under the circumstances, Shepard hunkered down so she could pick Ashley up and get her onto her back. She struggled beneath the weight and it was only her desire to save Ashley's life that gave her the strength to stand. She winced as Ashley cried out when hoisted onto her shoulders.

With Liara and Private Brake taking point in case there were Cerberus stragglers, the squad made the difficult trek to the roof. Cortez brought the shuttle in and they hauled the two bodies aboard – the body of their friend, and that of the Cerberus thing that had tried to kill her.

"Hang in there, Ash," Shepard whispered, clutching at the marine's hand as the shuttle rose back into the air.

Sometime during the last minute, Ashley had lost consciousness. They were fast running out of time.

She looked up and saw that Liara was looking at her. They both looked away a few moments later, but Shepard already knew that their reunion was every bit as painful as she had imagined it to be. In some ways she was grateful for the distractions of Cerberus and the Prothean data. It gave them both a purpose, a reason to work together. Shepard could only hope that it would last because, despite everything, the chance to see Liara again was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

 


	7. Piss off, T'Soni

**Hagalaz, Hourglass Nebula**

_The yahg that had formerly been known as the Shadow Broker lay shattered in hundreds of tiny shards all over the floor. Flush with exhilaration, her heart pumping rapidly, Shepard lay on her side amidst the carnage. She had thrown herself to the ground at the moment the yahg had exploded. Wrapped safely in her arms and protected by her body, lay Liara. Concerned, Shepard was reassured by the rapid rise and fall of Liara's chest beneath her touch._

" _Liara?"_

_Liara heard Shepard calling her softly. For some reason she felt safe and had no desire to regain full consciousness quickly. She eventually opened her eyes and shook her head to bring her vision back into focus. It wasn't for several moments that she realised she felt immensely safe because Shepard was holding her. The fact that they were in the aftermath of such an intense situation only enhanced the sensations that coursed through her body. Words couldn't express how it felt to be that close to Shepard again. Liara felt the human woman's breath falling rapidly on her neck. Instead of calming down as the excitement of battle subsided, the breaths only intensified. A few moments later she felt more than simply breath as Shepard's lips found her neck. She trailed three gentle kisses along its length and ended where her ear would have been had she been human - Shepard knew she loved being kissed there. Liara heard herself let out a small moan in the split second before she turned over and grabbed the back of Shepard's neck. She drew her downwards so she could find Shepard's lips with her own. The kiss that followed was fiercer, more desperate than any they had shared – even the last one aboard the_ Normandy _in the minutes before Shepard's death. In the midst of their passion, Liara felt tears running down her cheeks._

_The kiss was interrupted by harsh sounds. Urgent vocal demands and flashing warning signals originated from the Shadow Broker's console. Liara was aware of Shepard trying to hold onto her but she gently fought to extract herself. When she regained her feet, she immediately crossed to the console. The entire view screen was lit up with incoming transmissions. She listened to as many as possible but the crux of each message was essentially the same. The Shadow Broker's agents throughout the galaxy were demanding to know why the network had suddenly gone dark. Needing a quiet moment to think, Liara placed both her hands on the console and lowered her head. Her heartbeat thudded in her chest as a result of the kiss she had just shared with Shepard and the anticipation of what she was considering. Following a deep breath, Liara lifted her head and began punching in commands. She opened a network wide communication channel._

" _This is the Shadow Broker." She fought to keep her voice steady even though her entire body was pulsing with a mix of dread and excitement. "We experienced a brief loss in power resulting in a systems wide communication blackout. All systems have now been restored to full capacity. Resume normal operating procedures. Shadow Broker out."_

_When she stepped back from the console, she felt her face flushed with heat. What she had just done was the final act in a personal battle she had waged for almost two years. She had freed Feron and brought down the Shadow Broker. With his extensive network now hers to command, the next chapter was beginning. The power at her fingertips was incomprehensible and yet she felt as though this was a moment she had been waiting for her entire life._

" _Shit," she heard Shepard say from behind her. "Liara, are you sure about this?"_

_Liara spun on her heels. Shepard was only just dragging herself to her feet. She moved slowly, obviously hurting from the punishing fight with the former Shadow Broker. When she was standing, she crossed the short distance between them with a slight limp. The expression on her face barely masked the pain she felt. Liara reached up to lay a gentle hand on her cheek. Almost immediately, the pained expression disappeared._

" _I am sure, Shepard," Liara replied. She let her hand fall back to her side. "By doing this I have gained access to resources that will aid you in your fight against the Collectors. From here, I will actually be able to do something worthwhile to help you. Technology, information - I have it all at my fingertips."_

" _You could help me by being on the_ Normandy _," Shepard said, making her feelings clear on the subject. "As part of my crew."_

_Liara sighed. "You know you do not need another squadmate."_

" _Maybe you're right...but I need you, Liara," Shepard said as reached out to pick up Liara's hand in her own. "Come with me?"_

" _And give up the Shadow Broker's empire after less than a minute of taking control?" Liara asked. There was a hint of disbelief in her voice. "You know I cannot, Shepard. I can help you far more effectively from this ship than I ever could out in the field. I am not a warrior like you."_

"You're wrong, but _I don't want you for your biotic talents," Shepard tried to explain how she felt but found herself sounding decidedly flat. She could already see the lure of the Shadow Broker's network for the asari. Nor could she deny the value of the resources she could provide for the fight against the Collectors. "I want you."_

_Shepard knew she needed to say something more. There were three simple words that might have held the key to swaying Liara's decision. 'I love you.' It wasn't hard, but she couldn't bring herself to say them. Not now, not when faced with the reality of how badly Liara wanted this information network._

" _I cannot," Liara whispered reluctantly. She could no longer meet Shepard's gaze._

_Shepard bristled slightly, she continued to hold onto Liara's hand as she looked away but a frown of confusion creased her brow. "What is it? I know you. There's more to your reluctance. You know full well you can manage the Shadow Broker network from anywhere in the galaxy, including the_ Normandy _."_

" _Even when you take the_ Normandy _through the Omega-4 relay?" Liara asked quietly._

_Shepard let Liara's hand fall and she took a few steps back. "Is that what this is about?"_

" _It is a one way trip, Shepard," Liara replied, struggling to maintain control over her emotions. "At one time I would have followed you anywhere in the Galaxy. I have absolutely no doubts about your ability to lead, to inspire the very best in your squad...to face down impossible odds." Liara paused as she found it difficult to breathe. "What I do doubt is my ability to let you go again. It shattered me two years ago, I cannot put myself through it again."_

" _Nothing's certain," Shepard said as she saw the anguished expression on Liara's face but felt only frustration. She let go of Liara's hand._

_Liara nodded sadly in agreement. "But what is certain is that you will always choose the greater good over yourself. You will never leave a crewmember behind, even if it means your own death."_

" _I left Kaidan and his squad to die on Virmire!" Shepard protested._

" _You could have escaped the_ Normandy _before it was destroyed," Liara fired back, anger pulsing through her tears._

" _You're saying I should have left Joker to die?" Shepard asked in disbelief. "Liara, how could you even suggest-"_

" _If that is being selfish or cruel, then I do not care," Liara said in a cold voice. "Not if it means avoiding your death."_

" _I'm a soldier, Liara. That's what soldiers do! They die!" Shepard stabbed her finger angrily towards the shocked asari. She then spun away and slammed her fist hard against a ruined pillar behind her. She fought to regain control as she faced Liara again. "The mission comes first...it has to come first, and sometimes that means not coming back."_

" _I love you, Evangeline Shepard," Liara continued, her voice almost breaking beneath the emotional strain. "But you cannot ask me to play the grieving widow."_

" _Widow? We had a few months together, Liara," Shepard turned her back on the asari – if only so she couldn't see her eyes glistening with tears. She fought to stay under control, especially as she knew exactly where this conversation was heading. "It was a wonderful few months...but that's all it was, and that's all it ever can be with me. If you're looking for a future then I'm sorry but you're looking at the wrong person. If you want marriage, old age and a lot of little blue children then you're better off finding someone who's not a soldier."_

" _Evan...I...I am sorry..."Liara stuttered but the words would not come. "I did not mean..."_

_Shepard closed her eyes. Marriage, old age and children – she desperately wanted to experience all three. There was no one else in the galaxy that she would rather grow old with...have children with, than Liara. She had to choke back a sob whilst thinking what a wonderful mother Liara would make. However she had heard the awful pain in the asari's voice when she spoke of losing her. She could not and would not do that to her again. Shepard had decided that this was the best course of action for both of them._

" _Evan...please say something?" Liara pleaded._

" _Piss off, T'Soni," Shepard replied, injecting as much bitterness as she could into her voice. She knew that if she turned around and looked at Liara she would fall to pieces. It was already difficult enough to listen to her sobbing softly behind her. Instead, Shepard stared intently at the door leading out of the Shadow Broker's control room. With determined footsteps she started walking – placing one foot after the other._

_She only had one more thing to say to Liara. It was spoken in a cold monotone. "It's over."_

* * *

 

**Cronos Station, Horsehead Nebula**

The Illusive man took a deep draw on his cheroot, his emotionless eyes staring at a fixed point somewhere beyond the massive viewing portal. The dying supergiant Anadius filled most of the view with its pulsing mass. Every so often a massive but harmless solar flare would erupt outwards in the direction of Cronos Station. Although Anadius' red glow reflected in his eyes, it was not the star he was looking at. Instead he was looking at some distant point in the future – something he felt only he could foresee.

The station was perfectly concealed by the solar activity around the star. It was undoubtedly the pulsing heart of Cerberus, with its tendrils reaching out into all corners of the galaxy. He raised the cigar to his lips once again, the end burning with the same glow as the star for a moment. Curls of smoke wafted upwards and disappeared. With the arrival of the Reapers, such reach was more important than ever. If they were going to have any chance of a human victory, then it was vital that they could draw on as many resources as possible.

Two such resources were standing behind his chair but he ignored them for the moment. He continued sitting in his chair, legs crossed, staring – all the while contemplating Cerberus' recent failure. To say he was displeased was an understatement; clearly he had been wrong to place so much trust in an A.I. It served to remind him acutely of his failure with Commander Shepard – a failure that would continue to haunt him as long as that woman lived.

He took another drag, his frustration showing through with the fierce burning of the cigar. He regretted his decision to agree with Miranda Lawson and not have Shepard fitted with a control chip. Another deep drag followed. Damn that woman. Although he had agreed that her personality was a large part of what made her valuable, in hindsight this had been a mistake. At least with a control chip he could have put her down as soon as she deviated from Cerberus's path - quickly and without fuss. Now she was running around the galaxy interfering with his careful plans. Shepard needed to be taken care of…eventually.

The Illusive Man stood slowly. Losing the plans for the Prothean device to the Alliance was irritating, but in the overall scheme of things it was a minor setback. Now he could attend to other matters while the Alliance poured resources and manpower into building it. In the meantime, there were other important tasks that would better suit his attentions. The barest hint of a smile crossed his face as he turned to face the two individuals standing behind him.

"You should have sent me to Mars. Cerberus would have those plans and Shepard would be dead."

Kai Leng, his face emotionless around his cybernetic implants, was undoubtedly his most trusted agent. Merciless, uncompromising, Leng did not fail in the tasks he was set.

On the other hand, the companion standing at his side was not someone the Illusive Man was inclined to trust. This particular individual possessed no shortage of extremely valuable skills, but he would never trust her for the simple fact that she was an asari. Still, he was a man that would utilise certain skills wherever he found them, and Isini Aegir was someone he needed – at least for now. The asari stared back at him with a more expressive face than Kai Leng. The smile on her pale blue face was somewhat mocking – typical of the long-lived bitches who all seemed to think themselves above humanity for that very reason. Although her natural biotic talent was virtually unsurpassed, it was her hate that he actually required. He knew that hate would help give him an edge over Shepard.

"Patience, Kai Leng," he replied. "You'll have your chance to face Shepard soon enough…but I wouldn't be so confident. She has an uncanny tendency to survive."

"Thanks to Cerberus," Isini Aegir commented in a scathing tone. "The bitch would be dead if you'd just left her charred corpse to rot instead of reanimating it."

The Illusive Man regarded the asari carefully. Her attitude was a problem – especially given that she voiced her opinions about Cerberus freely and frequently.

"I am grateful," Kai Leng replied first. "It will grant me the opportunity to kill her for a second time."

"As long as you leave T'Soni to me," the asari added in a fierce tone.

The Illusive Man turned his back on his operatives once again. Even though Eva Coré had failed him, he sometimes missed the A.I's unflinching devotion to the task at hand and lack of personal comment.

"Aegir," he began. "I have a task for you."

"I cannot wait," she replied in a sarcastic tone.

The Illusive Man ignored her. "The last thing we want is humanity allying themselves with the rest of the galaxy…or a complete galactic alliance. Humanity must win this war without the help of other races. War between the Turians and the Krogan is the first step."

"Sounds like fun," Aegir's interested was piqued. The asari lived for being involved in anything that could lead to a potential bloodbath.

"There's a bomb on Tuchanka, planted by the Turians but of course the spiny fools have no intention of detonating it," the Illusive Man explained. I'm sending you in with a team to ensure that bomb goes off. Aegir…I want you to be discreet but I want the job done."

"Discretion is my middle name," she smirked.

"Neutralise all resistance," he continued.

"I would anyway."

The Illusive Man regarded her with a level stare. He had some confidence in her, that much was true. When it came to seeing through a task however, she had the tendency to grow bored. He decided to send one of his best squads with her – a core of centurions, combat engineers and a couple of mechs for added security.

"And me?" Kai Leng asked.

"You're not going anywhere, Kai Leng," he replied. "At least not for the moment - I want to keep at least one ace up my sleeve. When the Alliance thinks they've taken a step ahead, we'll knock them back again."

"Understood," Kai Leng nodded, somewhat reluctantly.

Aegir turned and planted a kiss on the cheek of the stoic assassin. "Don't fret, handsome, I'll have more than enough fun for the both of us."

Kai Leng scowled at the kiss but he made no attempt to resist. With a deft wave, the asari swaggered out of the control room leaving Kai Leng and the Illusive Man behind her.

"Watch her closely," the Illusive Man said once the asari had disappeared. "I do not trust our asari ally."

"Aegir needs a leash," Kai Leng replied honestly. "She serves you only because she thinks it will be the quickest way to succeeding in her personal vendetta. I do not understand why taking out one particular asari bitch is important to Cerberus."

The Illusive Man smiled. "Because she is important to Shepard."

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

An exhausted Shepard watched as a holographic representation of Admiral Steven Hackett strolled into view in the _Normandy's_ communication room. No doubt the Admiral had managed no sleep or rest since the Reaper invasion but he appeared only slightly tired and as impeccably attired as ever. His eyes were bright and alive.

"Shepard." He nodded to her in greeting. His usually slow voice sounded almost eager. "I take it you were successful in recovering the Prothean data from Mars?"

Shepard also nodded. "We were, sir, although not without some difficulty. Lieutenant-Commander Williams was seriously wounded by a Cerberus A.I. This thing had infiltrated the base posing as a researcher."

"Will she recover?" Hackett asked, genuine concern evident in his voice.

"I am unsure," Shepard said, trying not to dwell on the possible death of another squadmate...and friend. She had already lost Kaidan, she couldn't lose Ashley as well. "But we're en route to the Citadel, the best medical facility in the galaxy is standing by to receive her."

Hackett nodded again. "Keep me posted, Commander. What are the initial thoughts on the data? Will it prove to be something we can use against the Reapers?"

"I've got Liara and EDI analysing the data now. Unfortunately it was downloaded into the Cerberus A.I so they are having some difficulty-"

Shepard cut herself short when she heard footsteps approaching from behind. It wasn't necessary to turn around to confirm who it was; not only could she smell Liara's scent, she only needed to feel rather than see the asari. For some reason, even from the first moment they met, she had that ability when it came to Liara. Following their first joining, it had only intensified. She allowed herself a brief moment to close her eyes and steel herself, knowing Hackett would be focusing on Liara. When she opened them again, Liara was standing at her side. The confined space in front of Hackett's holographic form meant that their elbows were touching. Shepard could not bring herself to look at Liara, not even out of the corner of her eye.

"With EDI's help I have managed to isolate the data," Liara explained to Hackett. She turned her attention to her omni-tool, keying in the commands to transfer the Prothean blueprints into the holographic imager. Moments later, the plans flared into view and Hackett studied them with interest while she continued her explanation, "Even from initial observations, it is a destructive device on a massive scale. Clearly the Protheans intended it to be used against the Reapers. It was meant to destroy them, Admiral."

"Good work, Dr T'Soni. I'll forward the plans to our science division and get their analysis," Hackett said. "In the meantime we will continue to hold out as best we can."

Shepard nodded in agreement. She even felt a slight flush of pride in Liara's work. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the asari was as brilliant as she was beautiful. Finally Shepard gave in and turned her head to look at Liara. It just happened that it was at the precise moment that Liara mirrored her movement. The look that passed between them was fleeting but intense.

Out of necessity, Shepard turned her attention back to Hackett. "How is the situation looking, Admiral?"

"Most of our ships are engaged in an extensive programme of repairs, some are being salvaged for parts but we need everything we can get. Help from our allies is essential if we're to have a chance."

"Working on that, sir," Shepard replied in a tight voice. She was uncomfortably aware of how much was riding on her diplomatic mission to the Council.

"Good luck with the Council, Commander," Hackett added. "I'll leave you to it."

Hackett turned and walked away, his image abruptly disappearing as he did. Shepard and Liara were left, standing in close proximity in the small room. Shepard's first instinct was to turn and walk away, but it was the first time they had been alone since the conversation aboard the Shadow Broker's ship. She knew something needed to be said between them, she just didn't know what.

"This is not how I imagined us seeing one another again," Liara eventually said quietly.

"I find it difficult to believe you imagined anything of the sort," Shepard retorted, moving back from the console and away from Liara. Although she instantly regretted jumping straight to anger, she couldn't help herself. "Saying 'it's over' generally implies just that."

Liara lowered her gaze sadly. "I honestly did not think you meant it with any finality. Or perhaps I heard only what I wanted to hear."

That admission surprised Shepard. She distinctly remembered the coldness of her voice as she spoke those words. For Liara to interpret them any other way, she would have had harbour some serious delusions – either that or she had maintained faith while Shepard had lost it. Shepard couldn't bring herself to hope, not after the words that had been spoken. They were two very fundamentally different individuals; it had been foolish to think that a relationship would work between a gentle asari researcher and a bitter, hardened Alliance marine.

"It's not like you tried to get in touch," Shepard pointed out harshly, detracting from her own guilt when she thought of her dreadful efforts to communicate with Liara over the past few months.

"I did send you a message, Shepard," Liara protested in a gentle voice. "When you were on Earth. I think perhaps it came too late."

"Is there anything to talk about?" Shepard hated the coldness in her own voice. However she knew that if her façade crumbled and she let any sort of emotion other than anger show through, then Liara would see how badly she still needed her. If Liara learnt that much then she would not stop, not until their ill-fated relationship had been rekindled. Shepard wouldn't let herself do that to Liara.

_{Commander?}_ It was Joker's voice over the comm system.

"Go ahead, Joker," Shepard replied. It was a welcome respite.

_{Thought you might like to know we're coming up on the Citadel, beginning approach run now.}_

"Acknowledged."

Shepard sighed. She didn't know what she was going to say to the Council. There had been no time for speech writing – not that she would have done anything of the sort. Her message was going to be short and blunt. It would either alienate the Council, or force them to see reason and help Earth.

Without warning, Shepard suddenly had difficulty breathing. Something tightened around her heart. It felt like an invisible fist. She reached out for the console in front of her to steady herself. It was strange; she had never felt so anxious before a meeting.

"I should come with you to speak to the Council," Liara said quietly, it wasn't a request. She moved gracefully past Shepard, her head held high. It was only as she neared the door that she turned to look back at her. A frown immediately creased her face. "Are you alright?"

Instead of abating, the vice-like grip had tightened and pains were now shooting through her chest. Shepard was on the verge of clutching at her chest when Liara looked at her.

She stubbornly shook her head. "I'm fine, Liara."

Her reply emerged through partially gritted teeth – thankfully it sounded as much like anger as it did pain. Liara paused, shuffling forward slightly as though she wanted to reach out to Shepard. However she eventually turned and walked out of the communication room.

Shepard tried to focus on the sound of Liara's boots walking through the war room beyond but even that became too difficult. Her hand went to her chest, trying to clutch at something that she couldn't feel and drag it away from her body. The stabbing pains had intensified and her breaths came in short, constricted gasps. She could hear herself sucking in desperate gasps of air.

"Liara…" she could barely force the name out, but it was too late.

Liara didn't hear her. Nor did she hear the loud thud Shepard made when she collapsed. The Commander hit the ground hard, landing on her shoulder. The grip around her heart was all consuming, crushing the precious organ and restricting its ability to pump blood to her brain. Shepard was reduced to seeing spots at the corner of her vision, on the verge of blacking out, before the pain abruptly disappeared.

The absence of pain seemed strange. She continued to lie on her back for almost a minute, her hand protectively over her chest. However when she eventually regained her feet, everything felt normal again.

By the time the _Normandy_ was docking at the Citadel, Shepard was able to stubbornly push the incident to the back of her mind.

_It's just stress_ , she thought decidedly. _Fucking politicians._


	8. The Art of Looking like Shit

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

The core consists of a liquid alloy of iron, uranium, and tungsten suspended in an electromagnetic field powered by element zero.

_Shepard unsuccessfully stifled a yawn as she tried to focus on the datapad in her hands. Her eyes continued to roam over the text with a stubborn determination._

The molten metal, accelerated to a significant fraction of the speed of light… _What was the core made of again?_ A liquid alloy…iron, uranium and tungsten.

_Another yawn soon followed and she was suddenly uncomfortable. When had the couch in her quarters become so hard? Shepard shifted position several times. She felt another yawn building, her jaw stretched wide and she closed her eyes for just a few moments. When they opened again her vision was blurry and refused to focus on the screen. Instead all she saw was a pair of liquid blue eyes brimming with tears. Determinedly, Shepard refocused on the words –_ iron…tungsten…wait, there had been something about eezo as well…

_Her efforts were next to useless. The sentences merged into one another, the words seemed to change order and she remembered nothing of the previous paragraph. The very exercise of being forced to read something reminded Shepard of her years spent at school on space stations throughout the galaxy – at least a dozen different ones. While she was unquestionably bright, academic learning had always bored her. As a child, she was constantly the student sent out into the corridor for disrupting the rest of the class with impertinent questions. As she entered her teenage years, school became nothing more than a hindrance. Her sole goals in life were focused around sleeping with as many women as possible, becoming a fighter pilot in the Alliance Navy, and pissing her mother off. To her credit she had achieved two out of three in spectacular fashion._

_Shepard rubbed at her eyes unhelpfully. When she looked up, the text floated in the air in front of her. She blinked and instead saw the cool blue of her fish tank. Blue, it was unquestionably her favourite colour. Not that it had always been blue. She remembered preferring red as a child. However, since meeting a certain asari, her preferences had changed._

I just walked out on her _. The Commander let the thought drift into her mind but fervently wished she had the strength to resist it and the myriad others that kept assaulting her. Flashing images of Liara passed through her mind, all accompanied by a sense of the devastation the asari had no doubt felt._

_A mere two weeks had passed since everything had fallen to pieces on the Shadow Broker's ship – no, Liara's ship. During that time Shepard felt as though she was operating her body from a distance. She went through all the motions of what was expected of her - leading her squad fearlessly into engagements in their pursuit of the Collectors. No one else realised that her fearlessness didn't come from any sense of experience or bravery. It was simple detachment._

Iron...element zero... _It was impossible to focus properly. Shepard had little interest in learning the technology behind_ Normandy's _Thanix cannon upgrade. She didn't need to know why it was better. All she cared about was its ability to 'blow shit up' more effectively. Unfortunately she'd managed to offend Garrus by voicing that very opinion to his face. The Turian had difficulty in understanding why others were not as fascinated by the_ Normandy's _new armaments as he was. Shepard sighed – she promised herself that she would apologise to Garrus soon. Perhaps she would even listen politely while he explained the cannon's workings in person._

_Shepard couldn't suppress a grunt of irritation when she heard an insistent and subsequently repetitive beeping sound intrude upon the quiet world of her quarters. She deliberately tried to maintain an aura of approachability around the_ Normandy _, and in turn the crew respected that her quarters were the one place she could expect to have a few quiet moments. Dressed only in a standard military issue t-shirt and cargos, she had been trying to relax. However, even though she closed her eyes and willed the stubborn crewmember to 'fuck off', the beeping continued. In fact, it continued for almost a solid minute. Whoever they were, she had to admit they were persistent. Realisation dawned and Shepard rolled her eyes. There was only one crewmember capable of pushing her patience to the limit in such a fashion._

" _Come in, Miranda," Shepard said wearily._

_Miranda Lawson strode into the Crow's Nest without appearing the slightest bit apologetic for her interruption. Instead, she marched in as though she belonged there. The operative paused at the top of the small flight of stairs to scan her surroundings and her gaze settled on Shepard's fish tank. Aside from a few sad looking plants waving in the current, it was devoid of life or movement._

" _I remember there being actual fish in your fish tank the last time I was up here," Miranda remarked casually._

" _Died," Shepard replied simply. She only continued upon seeing Miranda's raised eyebrows. "Apparently you have to feed them or something."_

_With a condescending smirk, Miranda just nodded. To irritate Shepard further, she said nothing else – not even when the silence became awkward._

" _I suppose chastising me for the death of my fish isn't the reason you're here, Miranda," Shepard eventually said – warily looking at her XO._

_Shepard watched as Miranda invited herself further into her quarters. She didn't go so far as to take a seat, but her stance in the middle of the room was relaxed and even a little possessive._

" _I have been speaking to Dr Chakwas," Miranda began._

_A quiet groan escaped Shepard's lips. She knew exactly what Miranda was here to discuss and she didn't like the lecturing tone in her voice._

" _Miranda..." Shepard sighed as her voice trailed off; despite her argumentative nature, she just didn't feel like getting into one with Miranda. Especially not when the other woman was categorically incapable of admitting she was wrong._

" _She told me you refused to grant her the resources necessary to carry out the med-bay upgrade."_

" _I don't see how that is anything to do with you." Shepard tried to return to reading the diagnostics but was instantly reminded why she had stopped – they were beyond dull. She tossed the offending datapad down onto the seat beside her and rose to her feet so she could look her XO in the eye. "Was there anything else?"_

_Instead of reading through the expected list of ship-wide issues and concerns, Miranda folded her arms across her chest. She looked as though she was trying to bite her lip to keep from talking. She took a few agitated paces, left and right before turning back to face Shepard._

" _You're a self-righteous martyr!" Miranda suddenly exclaimed as she threw her hands in the air._

" _What?" Shepard was taken aback._

" _You heard me, Shepard," Miranda continued. "You throw yourself into situations where people need help all over the galaxy – but the thought of accepting even the tiniest offer of help for yourself is something you can't get your detached, emotionless little brain around! The expense isn't the reason you won't let Chakwas help you – you don't want to appear weak. You would rather pretend your scars didn't bother you. You treat them as some sort of badge-"_

" _I'm going to stop you right there, Miranda," Shepard spoke forcefully. However, instead of demanding that the conversation be over, she felt an uncharacteristic need to defend her decision. "I didn't ask your opinion, but my scars don't bother me."_

_There were few crewmembers who would have dared voiced such an opinion. The truth was she knew that Miranda found it difficult to accept orders from someone who she had only known as a comatose patient for two years. Miranda had seen her at her most vulnerable - half-dead, half-alive, wholly dependent on Cerberus to bring her back. Their relationship differed from everyone else on the ship. Mordin, Garrus, Jacob - she was unquestionably their commanding officer, their leader. Even Jack accepted her orders more readily than Miranda – albeit accompanied by a flurry of expletives._

" _I think the upgrade would be beneficial," Miranda added with some finality._

" _Noted," Shepard replied crisply. She'd allowed Miranda too much leeway already. "Now if you'll-"_

" _Oh no you don't, Evan." Miranda cut the Commander off mid-sentence. "You need to stop wearing those scars like a mask."_

_Liara was the only squad mate who had ever dared use her first name. It sounded strange coming from Miranda. Shepard was pissed off, but unable to say anything to stop Miranda's continuing tirade._

" _You're hoping that they'll keep people at a distance because you don't want to let anyone close to you."_

" _That's not true," Shepard said. It was perfectly true that she did not want to let anyone get close, but it had nothing to do with her scars._

" _Bullshit." Miranda called her out on it. "If you could only see how...inhuman you really are – especially over the last few weeks. You don't smile, laugh or engage with anyone during your downtime. Some of the crew who served with you on the_ Normandy _SR-1 are beginning to talk. They're saying Cerberus left a part of you dead."_

" _Miranda-" Shepard tried to cut in._

_Miranda looked steadily at Shepard as she ignored her attempts to cut her off. "You've been celibate for two years."_

_Shepard bristled. "I've been dead!"_

" _Aren't they the same thing?" Miranda fired back._

_The conversation Shepard had with Liara was once again laid open - fresh and raw in her mind. As she faced Miranda's calm challenge, she was forced to realise that she had not considered other sexual partners beyond Liara. Shepard had to admit it was uncharacteristic. From the time her mother had walked in on her as a sixteen year old in bed with a pilot eight years her senior, little time had lapsed between partners. It wasn't that Shepard deliberately sought out women (at least that was what she told herself), most of the time it just happened. Many were brief encounters on far flung worlds or ships, their names and faces often gone from her memory._

_Shepard had never had much time for love or romance - at least until she met Liara and realised how wonderful it could be to wake up with a warm body cradled in her arms. They were things that bore even less relevance to her life now – a life that would likely be even shorter than the last._

" _Just fuck off, Miranda," Shepard turned her back on the human woman. It wouldn't pass muster as an order in the Alliance Navy but this was Cerberus. She was also too tired and far too angry to discipline her recalcitrant XO._

_For a few moments, there was no response - nothing but a sullen silence behind her. Shepard then heard the soft sounds of Miranda's heeled boots on the floor. However, instead of heading towards the door, her footsteps approached the spot where Shepard stood._

_A soldier often acted without thinking. When a split second was all the time you had between life and death, it was a valuable skill. Often, no matter how many years of training and experience you had, everything came down to sheer luck. Sometimes you earned a medal and others, a bullet. When the footsteps stopped Shepard could sense Miranda standing just behind her right shoulder. In the second or so that passed between turning around and reaching out for Miranda's waist, Shepard didn't think. However, as Miranda responded immediately to her touch and their lips met, a myriad of thoughts jostled for position in her mind. Miranda's lips felt both soft and firm against her own, the ache between her legs was so acute it was almost painful and she'd almost forgotten how thrilling it was to feel the curve of a breast beneath her palm._

_Out of curiosity, she'd often wondered how difficult it would be to get the XO out of her skin-tight uniform. Now, as she dragged the garment downwards, Shepard could say from experience that it was relatively easy. A deft move with one hand was all it took to free Miranda's breasts and they were bare to the exploration of her fingers and lips. As Shepard's tongue flicked across a budding nipple, she heard a groan of longing from Miranda. Her hands continue moving, pushing the uniform down over her hips. Her mouth followed the path of bare skin, laying a trail of kisses over the smooth, perfect skin._

_The time span between their first kiss and falling naked onto Shepard's unmade bed was less than five minutes. However, several hours passed between the initial, intense orgasm that only left them hungry for more and the last, which came amidst tired strokes, sweat and tangled sheets. It left Miranda in an exhausted sleep, sprawled out on her stomach with one leg still thrown across Shepard's body. With her heart thumping in a solid, seemingly contented beat, Shepard lay on her back staring up at the ceiling. It was another half an hour before her eyes slid closed and she too fell into a deep sleep._

* * *

 

**Citadel, Serpent Nebula**

The entrance foyer of Huerta Memorial Hospital was relatively quiet when Shepard stepped out of the elevator and made her way towards the reception desk. At the back of her mind she knew she ought to have gone straight to the Council offices but that was a part of her that she frequently ignored. After completing docking formalities, making sure Ashley was okay was her priority. Ever the consummate professional, Liara had elected to go on ahead to arrange the meeting with the Council.

Like most soldiers, Shepard had little time for hospitals. They weren't places you wanted to end up yourself, and visiting squadmates who were fighting for their lives after being burned beyond recognition or losing limbs was even more painful. As a civilian hospital, Huerta Memorial was relatively sedate in comparison to anything operated by the military. However, it still carried that same hospital odour.

"Ashley Williams?" Shepard enquired of the asari at the desk.

The receptionist looked towards her console. She scanned it briefly and then faced Shepard with a bland expression on her face. "Sorry, no visitors. She is still in theatre."

"Can you make an exception?" Shepard asked. She didn't want to throw her name around. Even after the Batarian mess her name would still carry weight on the Citadel as a former SpecTRe. "I'm her commanding officer."

The asari just stared in response, as though Shepard was making an entirely unreasonable demand. She eventually shook her head wearily, as though Shepard was the last in a long line of visitors trying to get an exception.

"Commander Shepard!"

Shepard turned away from the unhelpful receptionist to find herself looking at the familiarly elegant face of Dr Karin Chakwas. Perfected coifed as ever, the _Normandy's_ former doctor had a small smile for Shepard. It wasn't a surprise to see her once again clad in the uniform of an Alliance medical officer.

"I wish I was seeing you again under better circumstances. They've just started operating on the Lieutenant-Commander now, but from what I have heard she will pull through. Follow me, I'll get you past the administrators," Dr Chakwas offered.

Without even thinking about throwing a disdainful glance back at the desk, Shepard followed Dr Chakwas through the foyer towards the business end of the hospital.

"Thanks, Dr Chakwas," Shepard said gratefully. "What are you doing here on the Citadel?"

"Alliance R and D," she replied in a graceful tone. "When the _Normandy_ crew was disbanded following your incarceration, I was welcomed back into the fold relatively quickly…more so than some anyway."

They walked through a set of glass doors into a part of the hospital populated with busy doctors and their technicians. Sounds of beeps and hushed conversations filled the air. As they walked, the doctor gently took hold of Shepard's elbow and steered her to one side out of the way.

"Do you mind if I speak frankly, Shepard?" she asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

Shepard shrugged; the doctor had seen her next to naked during check-ups and probably knew more about the inner workings of her body than she did. "Sure, doc, go ahead."

"You look like shit," the doctor said – her crude words at odds with her polished tone.

"Thanks," Shepard replied in a wry voice.

"I can't recall exactly how many lectures I gave you on taking care of yourself but it was a fair few. I don't need scans to tell me your immune system is continuing to reject your implants. If you won't consider advanced medical treatment, then-"

"Plenty of sleep, relaxation and peaceful thoughts," Shepard finished the doctor's advice. "In case you haven't realised, we're at war. Those things are all in short supply."

The doctor nodded sympathetically. "Just do what you can, Shepard. The galaxy needs you."

"We need all the soldiers we can get, I'm just one more." Being singled out from the many grunts all trying to do their jobs wasn't something Shepard appreciated. Still, even she had to accept the fact that she was different – didn't mean she had to like it though. "All I need is for this body to hold out until the Reapers are destroyed."

A sad smile crossed Dr Chakwas' face but she nodded. She knew, as did everyone who had served under her, that it was pointless to try and convince the Commander to do something she didn't want to.

"I'll feel a hell of a lot better keeping an eye on you from the _Normandy_ then," she eventually said. When Shepard raised her eyebrows questioningly, Dr Chakwas continued. "From what I understand the _Normandy_ left Earth without a full complement of crew. I'm not sure how well you'll do without a doctor on board."

Shepard couldn't resist a small grin. The thought had crossed her mind the moment she had seen the _Normandy's_ former doctor. She was grateful Chakwas had brought it up first.

"Then consider yourself hired, doc," was Shepard's formal offer. "The _Normandy_ is in docking bay D24 when you've got your kit together."

"Aye, aye, ma'am!" Dr Chakwas replied with a jaunty, non-regulation salute. Her face quickly became serious again. "Williams is just through here."

She said nothing further as Shepard followed her through another sliding door. In a nearby room with a glass frontage, a busy team of medical officers and their equipment surrounded a single patient. Shepard shifted position so she could clearly see Ashley Williams lying on the operating table. The doctors had removed most of Ashley's hardsuit and were working frantically to try and restore the blood she had already lost. The tough Lieutenant-Commander looked extremely fragile lying there. Her skin was ghostly pale against the shocking red of the blood.

Although Shepard didn't share Ashley's faith in a higher power, she offered up a few, silent words to whomever would bother to listen to her. She reasoned that if it was to help Ashley, then her own lack of faith wouldn't matter. As though Ashley would be able to sense her presence in some way, Shepard pressed the palm of her hand against the glass separating her from the operating theatre.

"You'll pull through, Ash," Shepard said aloud. "You've been in tighter jams after all. Everyone on the _Normandy_ is thinking of you...and I'll be back to see you real soon."

For another few minutes, Shepard watched the doctors as they worked to save the life of her friend. Familiar enough with battlefield injuries, Shepard understood most of what they were trying to do. There was little else she could do other than stand and watch, something she would have gladly done for hours if not for the meeting with the Council.

"I've gotta go, doc," Shepard eventually said. She reluctantly dragged her gaze away from the scene unfolding in front of her. "Promise me you'll make sure they do everything they can for her?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Dr Chakwas responded with a reassuring nod. "I'll see you on board the _Normandy_ , Commander Shepard."

It didn't take Shepard long to make her way towards the Council chambers. Huerta Memorial was also on the Presidium. Her reluctance to engage with the politicians did not result in her dragging her feet and wasting time. Time was something in short supply for Earth. She saw Liara waiting at the entrance to the Council chambers when she jogged to the top of a flight of stairs. She expected the asari to be impatient, but there was only concern written on her soft features.

"Is Ashley going to be okay?" Liara asked quietly.

Shepard's first instinct was to ask why the hell Liara cared - especially as she had previously made her feelings clear regarding the value of crewmember's lives. However, Liara's expression was nothing but genuine.

The truth was Liara remembered all too clearly how it had been Ashley Williams who had been witness to her utter despair in the minutes, hours and weeks that had followed Shepard's death. Although she had been inconsolable in her grief, Ashley had stubbornly refused to leave her alone. It was with lasting shame that Liara remembered slamming the marine up against a wall with her biotics when she tried to make her eat something. The plate of food she had been carrying smashed everywhere. Wincing only slightly, Ashley had calmly regained her feet, gathered up the ruined meal, and returned to the kitchen to prepare another. Liara had eaten every bite of that second meal.

"I'm not sure," Shepard replied, following Liara through into the next room. "She was in theatre. Dr Chakwas is with the team though so Ash is in about the best hands she can possibly be."

Liara nodded in response. She surreptitiously watched Shepard as they walked, noticing a distinct slump to her normally resolute shoulders. It was also easy for her to recognise the grim tightness around Shepard's mouth as nervousness. Her ex-lover loathed talking with anyone that wasn't military – especially politicians. A part of her wanted to reach out and lay a reassuring hand on the Commander's shoulder. However she knew that would be overstepping the current bounds of their friendship...if they were even friends.

"Shepard?" she ventured carefully. When Shepard glanced over her shoulder she simply said, "Be nice."

It was a polite way of warning the Commander to keep her infamous temper in check. Shepard held her gaze for a moment. Her expression was almost unreadable – or would have been for anyone else. However for an asari who had melded with the human woman, the hints were there. Deeply buried and closely guarded, Liara detected elements of longing and guilt in the way she parted her lips slightly. It was gone quickly as the mask was fixed in place once more.

Shepard responded with a shrug of her shoulders. "I'll play nice if they do."

The Council was waiting for them when the pair entered their informal reception room. All four were standing in various stances of impatience or, in Udina's case, anxiety. Liara watched Shepard out of the corner of her eye – the soldier had not relaxed in the slightest.

"Shepard," the human councillor said as soon as he saw her. "Thank god you've come. You can help me talk some sense into the rest of the Council."

"We do not need to see 'sense', Udina," Tevos, the asari councillor, replied in an indignant voice.

Tevos then turned to face Shepard and Liara. With almost a thousand years of life experience, Liara knew that the Matriarch would be the one that needed the most convincing. However, if they could someone sway her and gain the assistance of the asari, then the others would most probably follow.

Beneath the matriarch's withering stare, Liara desperately wanted to lower her gaze. Her family's once high standing had all but been eroded by Benezia's alliance with Saren. Given her isolated occupation and reputation for pretentious, ungrounded theories, Liara herself had little to do with asari high society. Even now that her Prothean research was proving valuable and the key role she had played in Shepard's victories, she knew her words did not carry much weight.

"We will hear what Commander Shepard has to say however," continued Tevos, her tone now bland once more. She ignored Liara altogether.

Shepard instinctively knew that the three non-humans on the Council had already made up their minds regarding her request for help. While the faces of Tevos and her Salarian and Turian counterparts were largely expressionless, she could sense the way they all felt. It was that same smug air of superiority that she had faced the last time she had come before them. It was only gritting her teeth together fiercely that kept her from launching into a tirade of useless expletives.

The Salarian, Valern, obviously did not even care to humour her in the slightest. "I am unsure why we are wasting our time talking when our own home worlds all face the Reaper threat. Dispatching any sort of aide to Earth is simply out of the question."

"Thanks for hearing me out," Shepard interjected sarcastically.

Beside her, Liara coughed quietly as a polite way of telling her to behave.

"We remember how you responded to our offer to restore your Spectre status, Commander Shepard," Tevos said in a disapproving tone. "I will not repeat where you told us to shove our offer, but needless to say, we were not impressed with your utter lack of respect."

Sparatus cocked his head to one side in an interested fashion. Then the Turian spoke up, "I believe Shepard has earned the right to speak here."

Shepard nodded her thanks. She decided to get straight to the heart of what she had to say instead of tiptoeing around, trying to resurrect any shred of credibility she had with the council. "We've uncovered plans for a Prothean device on Mars-"

"Ha! What do humans know of Prothean technology," Councillor Valern snorted disparagingly.

_More than the Salarians_ , Liara felt like replying. Instead she flared her omni-tool to life and brought up the plans they had recovered from Mars. Almost in unison, the attention of all four councillors was drawn towards her.

Liara found her voice surprisingly steady as she spoke. "It is a device capable of destruction on a massive scale, capable of destroying the Reapers altogether. The Alliance is preparing to commence construction."

"Which is why Earth needs your help to hold out," Shepard joined in, her own voice growing in confidence. "If Earth falls then your own systems will be that much more vulnerable."

"It will all be for naught if we all fall!" Sparatus replied a grim tone. "Palaven is under attack – the fighting just as fierce and desperate as on Earth. If we were to spare any troops at all, then our own planet would fall. Shepard, your plea is just, but your request places us in a difficult position."

"Too difficult," Councillor Tevos added. "Asari worlds are also under attack, our military is stretched thin. The line would falter if any were withdrawn to aid Earth."

"Agreed," Valern was quick to add in the clipped tones of the Salarian race. The councillor then nodded with a finality that sealed all opinion.

"If the pressure was somehow relived..." Sparatus tentatively suggested. "Then aid might be possible, but only after the safety of our own world has been ensured."

"You can't all hide behind your excuses, thinking only of yourselves," Shepard snapped in frustration. "The only way any race is going to survive is if all the races stick together! You must be able to see it's our only chance!"

"We have heard enough, Shepard," Tevos said, her voice growing tight. "The Council cannot acquiesce to your request as there is simply no aid to give."

Any subsequent arguments from either Shepard or Liara fell on deaf ears. The Council had completely closed off to the idea of sending even a minimal amount of aid to assist a beleaguered Earth. It was only with Liara digging her fingers into Shepard's arm that she was able to keep the Commander from saying something she would have regretted. The asari then practically dragged the angry human from the room.

It was in the peaceful, private surroundings of Udina's office that Shepard could vent her frustrations regarding the diplomatic failure. The human councillor was also predictably angry and labelled the rest of the council 'a bunch of self-serving jackasses.' Liara watched both, remaining silent on the matter – an asari on the fringes of a human argument. The humans were a new species, only recently elected to the council and still lacking in political clout. The other councillors had listened patiently to Shepard's words, but had answered with predetermined responses. Liara watched as the anger faded from Shepard's face, eventually replaced by a despondent resignation. The asari knew that Shepard's thoughts would be occupied by her friends and everyone else on Earth. Her failure to obtain aid could very well have doomed them all – regardless of whether the Prothean device was ever completed.

"I am sorry, Shepard," she whispered quietly, unsure if the Commander could even hear her.

"Yeah, you and me both," Shepard replied bitterly.

Liara took a few steps towards her Commander. "What will you do?"

Shepard looked up at her, the vein-like scars on her face seeming to glow with more intensity. Her reply was clipped and concise, "Go back to Earth...fight."

Liara sighed imperceptibly but she said nothing. The asari knew that pointless sacrifice wasn't the way to defeat the Reapers. She felt for Earth and its citizens, but she was more sympathetic to humans than most.

After all, she was in love with one of them.

* * *

 

**Washington State, Earth**

If there was one thing about her new life that was consistent, it was the running. A decent night's sleep, hot food...any food for that matter, a chance to bathe – things she had taken for granted in her previous life were now extremely precious. The one thing that could be guaranteed was running. _Well, the running and the fighting_ , Second-Lieutenant Lucy Park thought as her stomach rumbled yet again. She stubbornly ignored it and instead concentrated on watching the wide approach to the ruined house where her ragtag unit was sheltering for the night. The house was made of heavy stones and still had most of its roof which made it a welcome respite from the rain. It had fallen in steady sheets for most of the day, soaking and chilling them as they moved. They had kept mainly to forested areas to avoid being spotted from above, but it meant that it was damp, dark and cold.

Now she was tucked in a small alcove she had found. It offered some shelter from the rain, but she still wore her poncho over her ragged uniform as the odd wind gust blew heavy drops at her mercilessly. Her Avenger assault rifle, the same one Commander Shepard had tossed to her on the day of the Reaper invasion, rested on a ledge in front of her. Despite the cold and exhaustion, she kept a wary eye on the dark countryside. When they had hunkered down for the previous night their unit numbered fifty-one assorted personnel from various branches of the Systems Alliance military – marines, engineers, cooks, clerks and other pencil-pushers like herself. However during the night the number had been reduced to thirty-nine, soon to be thirty-eight if one of the more seriously wounded men died, when they had stumbled onto a patrol of Cannibals. As a consequence, Lucy was determined to stay awake now. She did not want to lose more from their already small band.

They'd managed to pick up a couple of stragglers during the day - pilots from a gunship that had been brought down. Until they linked up with a larger force, they would be unable to do little more than stay alive. Still, as wretched as life had become, Lucy was grateful that she had survived the initial bloodbath. She had never thought of herself as a soldier, but with a gun in her hand she felt as though she could do more than she ever did at her desk. It wasn't the truth of course, as an intelligence officer she saved lives and did untold damage to an enemy – just not with bullets. A part of her had always envied Susannah in her fighter and the thrill it must have been to have a weapon like that at your fingertips. Lucy didn't dare reach into her breast pocket beneath the poncho where she'd carefully tucked Susannah's photo. Given the destruction in Vancouver, it seemed likely that their small flat was in ruins. Plus there was no hope that she would be going back anytime soon. For now, the tiny, wallet-sized picture was all she had.

"Park, how are you holding up?"

Lucy turned at the soft voice of Admiral Anderson. The powerful marine knelt in the mud beside her, he was wearing a poncho and his bald head was bare to the elements. Although he had been pushing himself just as hard as everyone else, he still appeared alert and ready for a fight.

"I'm fine, sir," Lucy responded, trying to inject some strength into her voice.

"Have you eaten today? Got any sleep?"

Lucy tried to think as her stomach reminded her. "I had something this morning." In truth it had only been half a protein bar. "And I managed half an hour's sleep before I came on watch."

Anderson drew a package out from beneath his poncho. He tossed it to Lucy and she caught it. It was an unopened MRE ration.

"Sir, I don't need this much-"

"Nonsense, Park," Anderson interrupted. "I've been watching you. You've carried more than your share since we started running. For an intelligence officer, you pack a hell of a punch."

Lucy didn't know how to reply. She mumbled her thanks and stared down at the parcel. The contents, normally considered unappetising and tasteless, seemed like the richest feast. She tore open one end and the chocolate bar tumbled out into her lap. Chocolate had always been Susannah's weak spot – she couldn't resist the stuff. Lucy on the other hand had never cared for it.

"Sir?" she held it out to Anderson.

Anderson grinned and took the bar, ripping a corner of the wrapper off with his teeth. As they both sat and ate while continuing to keep watch Lucy finally plucked up enough courage to ask him the question that was foremost on her mind.

"Have you heard anything from Admiral Hackett...about the Fleets?" Lucy asked quietly. "Our losses?"

Anderson nodded. "Only scraps, but it seems as if the Second Fleet was sacrificed to give the Third and Fifth the chance to escape. They're rebuilding, still in the fight."

"The Second Fleet?" Lucy asked weakly.

She stared out into the darkness with an intense, fierce gaze. The food lay forgotten on her lap and she found herself willing another Reaper attack – just so there would be something for her to destroy. The Second Fleet were sacrificed... _Susannah_.

"Park?" Anderson's quiet tone interrupted her thoughts. "Is everything okay?"

"My wife is...was...a fighter pilot on the SSV _Tolstoy_...Second Fleet," Lucy explained.

She shivered uncontrollably. The cold night air tore straight through her wet poncho and the insulated jacket she wore beneath it.

Anderson did not reply for several moments. Lucy eventually heard him shifting his position. He came to sit directly beside her, on the ledge she had been using as her firing step.

"Never give up hope, Park. If I had a dollar for each time I was listing as missing in action...well, I wouldn't be rich but let's just say nothing is certain," he said kindly. "Why don't you go grab a few hours' sleep? We're moving out before dawn so you'll need it. I'll take the rest of your watch."

Lucy wanted to refuse Anderson and see out her watch but she couldn't deny the exhaustion she felt. She nodded her thanks to the Admiral and moved off to find a dry spot in the house. The opportunity to get out of her wet poncho and lie down on a cold, hard patch of floor was too tempting to pass up. She doubted whether she could actually sleep but if she found a corner that was private enough, she would allow herself the luxury of looking at Susannah's picture and the tears that would undoubtedly follow.

 


	9. Maw Piss and Battery Acid

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

_It wasn't every day that the commander of one of the most advanced ships in the Alliance Navy found herself crawling into a storage cupboard on her belly. As she managed to crack her elbow for the second time, Commander Shepard vigorously cursed the Cerberus designers. Their expertise clearly lay in designing beautiful ships; it did not extend to creating functional storage cupboards. Finally, at the very back of the space, her outstretched fingers curled around the neck of a glass bottle. She crawled out of the cupboard with her prize clutched securely in her fist._

_Shepard stared at the dusty, unlabelled bottle for a moment before she eagerly cracked the wax seal on the cap and popped it off. As soon as the cap was freed, a harsh odour practically singed the hairs from the inside of her nose and made her eyes water. Unperturbed, she poured a generous measure into a nearby glass. The thick black liquid seemed to ooze rather than pour. Without hesitation, Shepard downed the drink in one gulp. As soon as it hit the back of her throat she felt an intense burning sensation. With her gut on fire, she closed her eyes until the almost painful feeling subsided. Eventually it was just her head buzzing and a comfortable fire in her gut instead of a roaring one._

_Pouring a second glass, Shepard contemplated her next move. She was not surprised to find herself standing in front of the digital photo that sat next to her private terminal. Luminous blue eyes stared out of the frame, not looking directly at the viewer but gazing off at some unknown point of interest. While it was nothing compared to the sight of Liara in person, the picture was arresting. Her serene face held Shepard captivated – time stopped and her thought process slowed to a crawl. Her fingers eventually tightened around the full glass in her hand and she instinctively raised it to her lips. Again the burn followed. This time she was prepared and merely grimaced in response._

_Shepard couldn't explain to herself why she still had the picture - declaring a relationship over usually entailed severing ties and scouring mementos from view. The picture was in full view where she could – and did – stare at it often. Her jaw tightened. With a sudden swipe of her hand Shepard reached out and turned the picture face down. Just as quickly she tapped out a few keys on her private terminal. There was a beep as an internal comms channel opened._

" _I'd like to take you up on your offer," Shepard said quietly._

_The response was almost immediate. "I'll be up in five minutes."_

_Almost five minutes later to the second, Miranda Lawson walked into the Crow's Nest. The Cerberus operative found the Commander sitting on her couch in the process of pouring two glasses of the foul black substance. Miranda was incredulous when Shepard handed one to her._

" _It's good shit." There was a noticeable slur to Shepard's words._

_Miranda gave her a level glare. "We're mere hours away from the Omega-4 relay and you're drinking yourself into a stupor? What is this supposed to be anyway?"_

" _Krogan brandy – well, that's technically not its name, I just made it up...in fact, no one really knows what the hell is in it. Maw piss and battery acid from what I've heard." Shepard raised her glass in a silent toast and downed it._

_Miranda eyed her glass suspiciously but at no point did she attempt to taste it. When it eventually became clear that she wasn't feeling adventurous, Shepard relieved her of it. The glass went the same way as the first three, followed by a hacking cough as the substance burned her already tortured throat._

" _Shepard, you do realise that we need you fully functional if we're going to stand a chance at pulling this off?" Miranda pointed out in a disapproving tone._

_Shepard deliberately and carefully placed the glass down on the table in front of her. When she stood to face Miranda her expression was serious._

" _The Krogan drink this stuff before they go into battle. It fortifies them for what is to come," Shepard said, enunciating her words clearly. "They can share a drink with those who might not return. In our case, who probably won't return."_

_"It probably serves to kill off any remaining brain cells," Miranda said as she stepped further into Shepard's space._

_A small smile creased her face as she reached up to brush a strand of hair away from Shepard's forehead. The hair had been covering the scars above her right eye. They glowed fiercely, matching the tiny pinpricks of light that burned within the iris of each eye. A moment later Shepard's arms encircled Miranda's waist in a firm, almost desperate, grip. With a sigh, Miranda buried her face in Shepard's shoulder._

" _I'm sorry, Shepard," she whispered quietly._

" _Why?"_

" _For bringing you back into a life where everything has changed on you."_

_Shepard tried to smile but it emerged as more of a grimace. "No, trust me when I say it's exactly the same. I've been fighting with my back against the wall my entire adult life."_

" _But Liara -"_

_Shepard winced at the sound of the asari's name and interrupted Miranda, "-and I would never have worked. This is my life, this is what I do..."_

_Her voice faltered and trailed off. She had reached the point where she was tired of talking. Everything that happened when they went through the relay would be decided through actions, not words. It was precisely what she wanted at that moment as her hands cupped the back of Miranda's neck. The Krogan brandy raged in her stomach as their lips met. This time it was Miranda who pushed her backwards. Shepard fell hard onto her couch, limbs entangled with the other woman's._

_The sex that followed was brutally intense and passionate. It served to remind Shepard that, for a few more hours at least, she was still alive._

* * *

 

**Presidium Commons, Citadel**

"That stuff will kill you eventually."

At the sound of the deep, gravelly voice, Shepard looked up to see an asari bartender staring at her. The intensity of the gaze was more than a little unnerving. For some reason, Shepard felt as though the asari's gaze carried distrust and even a hint of loathing. Perhaps it was to be expected, after all Shepard could now add suspected war criminal to her long list of labels.

"A lot of things will kill me eventually," Shepard replied, only moments before taking another swill from the glass of Krogan brandy in front of her.

The bartender just grunted and returned to polishing a glass with mediocre enthusiasm. The asari eventually turned her attention elsewhere, moving to serve another customer in a bored voice. Shepard was unbothered by the exchange. She wasn't sitting at Apollo's cafe for conversation.

When the last of the black liquid was drained, Shepard turned to leave only to find her path blocked by a slender figure wearing a skin-tight black outfit. An impatient comment had barely formed in her head when she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello, Shepard."

Peering into the shadows of the hood, Shepard saw a pair of full, ruby coloured lips that were so perfect they could only belong to Miranda Lawson. Her own lips parted in surprise. She'd heard nothing from the ex-operative since her arrest after returning from Bahak.

"Hey, Miranda," Shepard replied so casually she might as well have seen the other woman yesterday. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Miranda smirked. "You know you don't need to get me drunk. I'm fine, but please go ahead if you'd like another."

Shepard waved to catch the bartender's eye once again. She pointed to her empty glass to indicate it needed refilling. The asari casually sloshed another measure of brandy into her glass. Some of it spilt over the side and onto her fingers but she couldn't care less. She lifted the glass to her lips and took a long gulp, almost draining it.

"I can't believe you're still drinking that awful stuff," Miranda commented with a grimace. "It should have eaten away all traces of your stomach lining by now."

"These are dangerous times," Shepard replied with a shrug. "I might as well live a little."

"I'd hardly call drinking that 'living a little.' Most people would choose something a little less hazardous to their health. Have you tried dancing?" Miranda suggested helpfully.

"That would be hazardous to the health of others, I'm a terrible dancer." Shepard had to suppress a shiver at some bad memories.

"Well, you could always end up in bed with someone you didn't expect," Miranda lowered her voice discreetly.

Shepard looked away – flashes of Miranda's naked body invaded her mind. "I've tried that...more times than I care to remember."

Miranda leaned against the bar, her proximity increasing slightly. Shepard felt her heart beat more rapidly in response. However she subtly took a step away as she reached for her drink. There was having a chat with an old friend, and then there was getting distracted by an old friend with benefits. She was in danger of succumbing to the latter. 

"Shepard," Miranda's tone was now serious. "It's good to see you again."

"Likewise," Shepard replied honestly. Regardless of their personal history, she had long since realised that Miranda Lawson was a useful person to have on her team. "Are you here to offer your services?"

Miranda suddenly smirked a little, but it was gone in an instant. "In a manner of speaking, yes. I want to help you in your fight against the Reapers...and I'm here to ask if I can re-join your crew – but with one proviso."

"Which is?" Shepard asked. She was both grateful for the potential help and unnerved at the prospect of having Miranda and Liara on the same ship. It was a terrible idea, whichever way she looked at it. But she needed them both. For entirely different reasons.

"I can't join you immediately. There is something I have to do first."

"Anything I can help with?"

Miranda was quick to shake her head. "No, it's something I have to do alone. I just wanted to touch base with you before I left...just to say...well, so you knew that you could count on me..."

As Miranda's voice trailed off, Shepard reclaimed the space between the two of them. "Touch base? Miranda, we're friends. You don't need to make it sound as though you're checking in with a superior." She surprised herself by reaching out to place her hand atop Miranda's before entwining their fingers. The operative smiled almost shyly. "If you ask, you know I'll do everything in my power to help you."

Miranda suddenly withdrew her hand. "If I did need help then there's no one I would rather have at my side. But seriously, Shepard, you have more important tasks. I just wanted to see you before I left."

Shepard swallowed, her throat was dry. "Miranda..."

"I know, Shepard," Miranda took a step backwards. "I remember our conversation after destroying the Collector vessel – pretty vividly - and my understanding of what happened between us hasn't changed. All I wanted to say is...you've been a good friend."

"Likewise," Shepard said again. "Is this the moment where I'm supposed to give you a hug?"

Miranda shook her head slowly. "We both know that's not your style. Why don't you just wish me luck instead?"

"That seems kind of inadequate," Shepard mused.

"How about this?" Miranda stepped forward and deposited the briefest of kisses on the corner of Shepard's lips. When she moved away, her smile was sad. "Simple, yet effective."

"Good luck, Miranda," Shepard said. "I'll be expecting you to report for duty on the _Normandy_ when you've settled your business."

"Aye-aye, Captain."

Miranda didn't say another word, walking away and leaving Shepard standing by the bar with a slight tingle lingering on her lips. Shepard watched the ex-Cerberus operative leave, as captivated as ever by the sway of Miranda's hips.

She wiped what was probably a ridiculous grin from her face and turned to leave. However as she did, she happened to glance towards one of the furthermost tables at Apollo's. Seated there, intently studying the datapad in her hands, was Liara. Shepard felt all traces of mirth vanish from her face in an instant. She quickly jerked her head away in case Liara looked up and caught her staring.

"You look as though you could do with another?" the bartender offered almost immediately.

Before she could even nod in agreement, Shepard found another glass in front of her. Her hand curled around it and instinctively lifted it to her lips. Even as the liquid ran down her throat, a part of her gaze drifted back to the far table. Shepard's gut wrenched painfully. Surely Liara had seen her having a conversation with Miranda? The asari only needed to turn her body slightly and look up.

Shepard momentarily thought of joining Liara. There would be a brief comment about Miranda, Liara would accept the truth at face value – after all, it had simply been a meeting between friends. The awkwardness would pass and they'd relax into each other's company as easily as they used to.

Except that Shepard couldn't bring herself to cross the distance between them. Miranda was a friend, but she had also been a lover. _So? Liara and I were_ _over_ , she reminded herself. _I fucked Miranda because I thought I wasn't coming back from beyond the Omega-4 relay._

The useless train of thought continued to plague her as she toyed with the drink. Had it been the same with Liara? Had she fucked the scientist simply because she was willing and available en route to Ilos? Shepard tried to tell herself that it wasn't the case, something had been different. The brandy clouded her mind and fuelled an irrational anger. With a quick movement, she drained the rest of the glass and slammed it down on the bar.

Getting the hell off the Citadel and back into the fight was what she needed.

"I'd stay away from her if I were you, Commander Shepard," the bartender suddenly said in a steel-edged voice.

Shepard was used to hearing comments as she passed, but the words caused her to stop and look back over her shoulder. The obvious reference to Liara was surprising. It was almost as though the bartender had a reason to be personally invested. Shepard was too tired to be angry. She simply shook her head.

"There are some promises a person can't make."

* * *

 

Dr Liara T'Soni watched out of the corner of her eye as Shepard threw back her head and downed the remainder of the liquid in her glass.

_Krogan brandy_ , Liara thought almost fondly.

While the Commander did not drink often, when she did it was always the foul smelling liquid that could hardly be called a beverage. ' _If you're going to get drunk, you might as well do it properly,_ ' Shepard had explained moments before coaxing her to gulp down a measure. The resulting gasping and gagging, accompanied by a horrible burning sensation in her throat, had led Liara to swear she would never let so much as a drop pass her lips again. Shepard had just grinned and polished off her own glass with stoic fortitude. She had then soothed the raw feeling in Liara's mouth by kissing her soundly.

Liara sighed at the memory. It had come from a rare moment of shore leave spent together only a week before the _Normandy_ had been sent on its last mission against the geth. They'd booked a hotel suite in one of the lower wards of the Citadel. Although hardly five star, it had been discreet and more than comfortable. Especially considering they hadn't set a foot outside in almost the entire week. Or worn so much as a stitch of clothing, Liara remembered.

Liara sat, staring blatantly as Shepard tilted back her head, revealing the slender lines of her neck. That sent a slight thrill through her body, tugging at desires she had spent far too long suppressing.

_T'Soni, you need to leave. Right now._

With a determined set to her mouth, Liara put down the datapad in her hand and squared her shoulders. Her chair scraped lightly across the tiles as she stood. However, before she could take a step, another woman joined Shepard at the bar. Despite the fact that the woman was wearing a deep hood leaving most of her face in shadow, it only took Liara a few moments to realise that it was Miranda Lawson. Against her better judgement, she sank slowly back into her chair and picked up her datapad in a futile effort to hide behind the small device. She felt guilty for spying, but could not help herself, watching Shepard and Miranda's every move. Without realising it, her hands had tightened on the datapad to the point where the casing was in danger of cracking beneath the pressure.

Miranda eventually left, leaving Liara simmering at the kiss and willing Shepard to leave quickly before she did something stupid - like drop a singularity on the human's head. Liara sat, glowering. What was supposed to have been a few precious moments of relaxation before returning to the _Normandy_ had become an exercise in humiliation. Everything was made even worse when, out of the corner of her eye, she clearly saw Shepard look up and directly at her.

Now, as miserable as she was, Liara had to sit and pretend not to have seen Shepard. The Commander polished off her drink - Liara had been keeping count and knew it was her third. Her conversation with the asari behind the bar was brief, and she did not turn to look in her direction again.

Less than a minute later, Shepard walked away. Liara stared blatantly as she walked – a part of her willing the Commander to turn around. It may just have been her imagination, but she thought she detected a slight slump to those normally broad shoulders. She continued watching until Shepard was out of sight.

Feeling sick to her stomach, Liara stood and made her way to the spot Shepard had vacated at the bar. She took up a similar position, although her lean possessed a definite sag. Without having to say a word, the bartender poured her a small glass of Krogan brandy and set it in front of her. Despite her oath, Liara swiftly picked up and glass and slammed it back in one gulp. Her mood was such that the resulting burning and watering of her eyes actually made her feel better. When the initial revulsion passed and her eyes cleared, she looked up to see the bartender staring at her with disapproval written all over her face.

Liara turned her head away. "Do not look at me like that, Dad."

Matriarch Aethyta uttered a quiet growl before replying, "And how the hell am I supposed to look? You've got your heart set on a one way trip to the arse end of nowhere with that one, kiddo. The sooner you open your pretty little eyes and see that, the better."

It was easy to find a measure of comfort in the raw, aching warmth the brandy gave her, but Liara was determined not to use it to take the pain away. She waved away the offer of a second glass – if her burning throat wasn't enough, then the pungent odour certainly helped remind her that the drink ought to be banned from civilised society. When Liara opted not to reply, Aethyta uttered a sigh that sounded suspiciously sympathetic.

"I know you didn't exactly invite me into your life –" the matriach began.

"You were spying on me!" Liara interrupted harshly.

Aethyta made no attempt to deny the accusation. She merely shrugged as if it hardly mattered. "I know you don't want me suddenly telling you how to live your life, but I think I'm qualified to offer advice after almost a thousand years of falling in love, casual fucking and everything else in between."

"Dad!" Liara hissed under her breath, casting anxious glances to check whether the other café patrons could overhear them.

"What I'm trying to say is I've made a shit load of mistakes over the centuries."

"Like my mother?" Liara offered quietly.

"No," Aethyta replied firmly. A misty look passed across her eyes and she shook her head. "Whatever Benezia eventually became, I loved her as she was...honourable, loyal, wise...and damned good in bed. I tell you what, she could have me on my back, spread-eagled and helpless faster than you could say-"

"Okay!" Liara had to interrupt again. Hearing about her parent's sex life wasn't exactly high on her list of preferred conversation topics.

"This human is a mistake." Aethyta suddenly returned to her original point. "Like the time I shacked up with Batarian Warlord – it's just bad news whatever way you look at it. He was a real stud...we fucked like troopers, had a hell of a lot of fun but in the end you have to realise that kind of lifestyle only suits those short-lifers. Why don't you find yourself a nice Krogan, kiddo?"

"Because I love Shepard," Liara replied almost immediately, not even wanting to consider what it would be like to wake up to a Krogan every morning. The breath alone would be enough to put her off.

"And I loved your mother...just because you love someone doesn't mean they're always going to love you. Sure, this human may have got her rocks off being with an asari for a while, but it looks like she's moving on -"

"You cannot judge Shepard," Liara protested. "What she has been through-"

"Sure, she died. Boo-fucking-hoo for her, but that doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit – "

Liara shook her head. As Aethyta stopped talking she stopped leaning against the bar, straightened her body and squared her shoulders determinedly. "I cannot get into this, not now. There is too much at stake. Shepard and I need to be able to work together as colleagues. When all of this is over...then maybe you can give me advice on how to walk away from her."

"Well I may be a bit blunt, but I just call things like I see them," her father explained, her gravelly voice softening slightly.

Liara managed a weak smile. "Yes I know, Dad. Thank you for the drink...I think. I will stop by again soon, I promise."

Aethyta almost smiled in response. "I'd like that."

Liara started to back away from the bar. Before she turned to leave she asked, "You are not going to tell me to take care of myself?"

She received a firm shake of the head in response. "You're a quarter Krogan, you're more than big, bad and ugly enough to take care of yourself."

However as Liara walked away, Matriarch Aethyta watched her with sad eyes. "Take care of yourself, kiddo," she whispered.

She then ignored the line of customers waiting at the bar and set about fixing herself a large drink.

* * *

 

**Docking Bay D24, Citadel**

With the burning glow of Krogan brandy in her gut, Shepard made her way back to the _Normandy_. She was well on her way to being drunk, without quite having reached the state where she couldn't walk normally,

Shepard reflected on the mess than was her personal life. A small part of her – the drunk part - was grateful for the war. The all-consuming nature of a galactic invasion meant that she had little time to dwell on the fact that she was incapable of holding down a relationship – even with someone she cared about.

Her thoughts were already moving back to the _Normandy_ and the task of ensuring they had all the necessary personnel on board when she found her path to the docking bay blocked by the Turian Council member, Sparatus. Given that he was the very same Turian that had just refused to offer any aid to Earth only a few hours earlier, Shepard was in no mood to be civil – the brandy didn't help.

"Make it fast, Councillor," Shepard growled, pushing her way past and continuing on towards the _Normandy's_ berth. "Some of us have a war to get back to."

She suddenly felt a vice-like grip around her upper arm. Although she tried to yank herself out of the Turian's grasp, he held firm. With a growl of frustration, she stopped struggling and faced him down.

Sparatus released his grip before he spoke in a patient voice. "Earth isn't the only planet under attack by the Reapers, Commander Shepard. You would do well to remember that."

"Fine, noted!" Shepard replied, still angry from being manhandled. However she soon regretted her hostility towards the, especially when the simple fact that he was meeting her clearly indicated an opportunity. When she spoke again, her tone was more civil. "What can I do for you?"

"I may not have been able to sway the rest of the Council, Shepard, but there is a possibility that you could still gain Turian support for Earth," he ventured.

"Okay, I'm listening." Shepard's interest was piqued.

"I'm going to be frank with you, the situation on Palaven is critical. We're barely holding the line against the Reapers and our forces are being decimated to the point where there is simply no reserve."

"Just like Earth," Shepard commented sympathetically.

The Councillor nodded. "Which is why I need to enlist your help, and in doing so, help yourself. The leader of our people, Primarch Fedorian, was rallying the defence of Palaven from its largest moon, Menae. You must understand that if Menae falls then Palaven falls. However it has become clear that we cannot afford to lose Fedorian in its defence. Commander, if you can retrieve the Primarch from Menae, it will go a long way towards earning Turian support. Fedorian will undoubtedly speak for you at a war summit. With his help, you can sway the other races."

Shepard couldn't suppress the surge of hope that rose whilst listening to Sparatus. "All you want me to do is go in with my squad and pull this guy out?"

The Turian councillor nodded gravely. "The situation on Menae is dire, but if anyone can succeed in this endeavour, it would be you Commander Shepard. While I haven't always agreed with everything you have done, you are a formidable soldier."

"And if I say no?"

For a moment Sparatus' expression looked crestfallen - either that or he needed to sneeze, Shepard could never quite tell with Turians. "Then we will all fight alone."

Following a brisk salute, the Turian spun stiffly on his heels and walked away. Shepard was left to ponder his words, with his last statement on repeat in her head. _And we'll all lose_ , she thought as she came to her decision.

Shepard returned to the _Normandy_ to find an atmosphere she could only describe as tense. The CIC was unusually busy for a docked ship, with crewmembers either at their stations or performing essential tasks. Their abrupt departure from Earth had meant that the _Normandy_ had left Earth before the retrofit had been completed and with very little provisions on board - nowhere near enough to sustain the crew for a mission of any length.

To a man, each crewmember who met her eye looked as though they wanted to launch a barrage of questions. Shepard could hardly blame them. They'd all left their family and friends on Earth at the mercy of the Reapers. They deserved more than the silence they were currently receiving from their commanding officer.

"Specialist Traynor isn't it?"

The dark-haired comms specialist looked up from her terminal with a wide-eyed gaze. For a few moments Traynor's mouth simply worked soundlessly and Shepard had to resist the urge to make an impatient remark as she waited for a response. 

"Um, yes ma'am. Sorry...I-I didn't realise you knew my name." As though suddenly remembering that she was Alliance personnel, the young woman suddenly snapped to attention. "Comms Specialist Samantha Traynor, ma'am. I was part of the team retrofitting the _Normandy_ and-" she faltered "- I'm still on board, because we left so suddenly but I can assure you I know my way around communications protocols-"

"At ease, Specialist." Traynor was cute, and already far less irritating than Kelly Chambers, but Shepard had other priorities on her mind than getting to know the _Normandy's_ new recruits. "No doubt you'll have plenty of opportunities to convince me you belong on board, but right now I need you to recall the crew and set in motion our departure. We're leaving the Citadel at 1300 hours."

"Are we going back to Earth?" Traynor ventured quietly, even as she began tapping away at her terminal.

"No." Shepard stepped up onto the Galaxy Map platform. The map was fixed on their current location and she began cycling through star charts until it came to rest on the Apien Crest cluster. She felt a sense of determination take hold. "We're going to a hunk of rock called Menae."

* * *

 

**Menae, Apien Crest**

Perched awkwardly on one of the uncomfortable benches that were characteristic of all military shuttles, Liara flexed her shoulders and arms within the confines of her new hardsuit. Even though she had chosen a set that was relatively light, the armour felt strange and constrictive. Largely white with touches of blue trimming, it seemed too perfect to be serious battle armour. It was nothing that couldn't be fixed by a few fragmentation grenades slamming her to the ground or scorch marks from the near misses of incendiary bullets. She absently clenched her gloved hand as she looked up at Shepard and Vega seated on the other side of the shuttle. While Vega flashed her a friendly smile, Shepard was intently staring out of one of the shuttle's small windows. The four marines comprising the rest of the squad were too wrapped up in their own preparations to pay her any attention. Liara followed Shepard's lead and stared out of the window, finding some sort of catharsis in the uniformity of the distant stars.

She had been lulled into a false sense of peacefulness when the view changed, suddenly ablaze with colour. Liara eventually came back to her senses and realised she was staring at a planet with its cities burning thousands of miles below. Unconsciously she felt her lips part in shock.

"Palaven," she whispered.

"Shit, man."

Liara looked up to see Vega standing at her side, looking out on the same view."Is that what Earth looked like?"

"Yeah, pretty much the same," the burly marine responded.

On the other side of the shuttle, Shepard stood and only came close enough to see the view for herself. Her face echoed Vega's words. Liara instinctively knew she was thinking of their close friend and squadmate, Garrus Vakarian. She felt as though she ought to share some exchange with the Commander, but the only word that entered her mind was 'sorry' and it seemed less than adequate. The moment passed as Shepard turned her attention away from the view to her weapons - her trusted M-96 Mattock and a Mantis sniper rifle. No doubt the meticulous soldier had done her homework on the terrain they would find below. Usually relying on her biotics, Liara carried only a Carnifex pistol and a light Shuriken machine pistol as back up. Both were strapped in their holsters on either hip. She drew the Carnifex and double checked it was ready to go.

As they passed through Menae's atmosphere, the ride became turbulent. It jostled them to the point where Liara was forced to clutch a nearby handrail for support with one hand, weapon in the other. Buffeted and feeling slightly sick, Liara constantly found her gaze drifting towards the Commander. She remembered previous missions where Shepard had often flashed a carefree, reassuring grin in her direction. Now she could not catch Shepard's eye once. She even found herself wishing that Shepard had left her out of the squad altogether. This thought was quickly dismissed; there were no other biotics aboard the _Normandy_ whom Shepard could call on for support. Regardless of the state of their relationship, Liara knew her position in the squad had come about through her abilities. This was business, nothing more.

As they began their approach run, Shepard made her way forward to the cockpit.

"How are we looking, Cortez?"

"Landing zone looks messy, Commander," Cortez replied. "To say it's going to be a hot one is an understatement."

"Perfect." Shepard slapped the pilot on the shoulder. "Sounds like fun."

As Cortez guided the shuttle in on a trajectory for landing, the squad took up positions - Shepard and Vega at the forefront. Still clutching at an overhead rail for support, Liara winced as the door slid open and she was hit by the combined force of rushing air and noise. The battlefield below them was a riot of movement and flame. Tracer bullets arced backwards and forwards in such a maze that she couldn't tell where one side ended and another began.

A loud retort suddenly echoed in her ears. Somehow having braced herself against the bulkhead, Shepard had sighted her Mantis on a distant target and fired. She was already reloading and searching for another. The sniper rifle was perfectly steady in her hands as she tracked a moving shape. A second squeeze of the trigger soon followed. Below her Liara saw the head of a humanoid figure explode. As they entered the range of Vega's Mattock, he too opened up. The heavy assault rifle seemed to come alive in his hands, a steady thump of bullets erupting from its barrel.

Shepard leapt out of the shuttle before it had properly touched down. The thud of her boots on the ground was swallowed by the intense noise of combat. Liara followed only a few seconds later, a biotic field dancing across the fingertips of one hand and her Carnifex in the other. For a few seconds she stood frozen, appreciating the horror that was the wave of husks sweeping towards the landing zone. The noise of an exploding fighter overhead jolted her back to full awareness and she unleashed a deadly blast of shifting mass effect fields. It slammed into the nearest husk, ripping apart its light armour and continuing to do damage as the fields warped and twisted. Liara waited just long enough for several more husks to come within optimum range before unleashing a throw. The first husk was torn apart by the resulting biotic explosion and the fields radiated out to slam into those surrounding it. The group of husks were flattened. Only two tried to struggle back to their feet and they were promptly dispatched with heavy slugs from her Carnifex.

In the frantic moments that followed, there were targets everywhere Liara turned. Several more biotic explosions followed, breaking up any large packs of husks. Shepard now had her rifle in her hands, laying waste to any husks who escaped the mass effect fields still intact. With the husks down to a remaining few stragglers, it was effective to simply cast stasis on them and either blow their heads or herself or leave it to her squadmates.

It was only when she could no longer find a target that she realised the landing zone was clear. Although she extinguished her field, she kept her pistol in her hand as she moved up behind Shepard. The squad made their way to a compound where a Turian sentry was waving them over.

With the immediate threat gone and bullets no longer whizzing past her ears, Liara realised that her heart was pounding in her chest from a combination of excitement and exhaustion. It took a considerable amount of effort and stamina simply to maintain a biotic field, let alone throw the fields at a target. She was badly out of practice following her time on Mars.

Once inside the barricade, the group made their way to the commanding officer - a grizzled general by the name of Corinthus. Surrounded by his senior officers, the Turian general was intently studying a map laid out on the table in front of him. Although Liara wasn't entirely sure, she thought that the Turian looked tired. His armour was covered in various dents and scrapes, as though he himself had seen heavy fighting. It was only then that Liara felt secure enough to holster her weapon.

"Commander Shepard," he greeted them upon turning. "I've heard a lot about you from my superior, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Your superior?" Shepard asked with a slight frown.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Shepard."

Another Turian came up the ramp to the command post and announced his presence. This time the face and voice were familiar to both Liara and Shepard. Liara turned to see the welcome sight of Garrus Vakarian. She had not seen her old squadmate for some time and felt a slight constriction in her throat. The Turian was more than simply a squadmate, he was a dear friend.

"Garrus!" Shepard shook hands firmly and Garrus slapped her on the back.

Liara thought she could see the Commander itching to hug her friend but couldn't bring herself to do it in the circumstances. She had no such reservations, when Shepard turned away to talk to General Corinthus, she moved forward.

"Hey, Liara," Garrus said, his tone warm.

Although she hadn't intended the hug to be more than a quick one between friends, once in his arms Liara found she couldn't let go. Pressing her face against his hardsuit was far from comfortable, but there was something about being held that she craved. When she finally did manage to let go, realising her actions, she stepped away shamefaced. However Garrus simply reached out and lightly touched his finger beneath her chin. She lifted her head to meet his kindly expression.

"Is everything alright?" he asked gently.

"Garrus...I..." Liara instinctively wanted to blurt out everything – well, at least everything to do with the deterioration of her relationship with Shepard, which felt like her entire world. Instead she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Garrus. It's lovely to see you again."

He smiled in the subtle Turian manner. "It's good to see you too, Liara. So Shepard's dragged you into this mess as well?"

Thankfully Liara didn't reply with the first thought that entered her head – _'I'd follow Shepard anywhere'_ – instead she replied with an honest truth, "The crew of the _Normandy_ are like my family. At a time like this, it is where I belong."

"And where you're needed," Garrus added. "I was watching from up on the barricade as your team came in - about to lend a hand until I saw that I'd just be wasting my time. I'd be too late for anything except mopping up little pieces of husk you'd already torn to pieces."

"Girl's got a mean talent!" Vega agreed, earning him a slightly miffed look from Liara and an agreeing nod from Garrus. The marine just shrugged. "Not that asari are girls...even though they've got...well, you know what I mean."

They then turned their attention towards the more serious matter of the task they'd been assigned by the Turian councillor. Shepard's face fell when Corinthus gave her an answer regarding Fedorian's whereabouts.

"I'm afraid the Primarch is dead. He was killed early yesterday morning when the Reapers overran one of our outposts," Corinthus explained.

"I'm not leaving this moon without a Primarch," Shepard said determinedly. "Who's next in line?"

Corinthus looked to Garrus, who shrugged unhelpfully before replying. "Turian laws of succession are very clear cut...I'm just not so clear on who exactly that is. I'll get my people onto it."

"Asap," Shepard urged. "Getting the Primarch is only the first step. I'll then need time to convene a summit...time for the wind bags to talk."

"Your diplomatic skills are as memorable as ever," Garrus commented fondly.

"Incoming!" a loud shout echoed across the compound.

Everyone in the command post looked to the far barricade. The troops stationed there suddenly opened fire almost as one, their weapons firing furiously. Before they could even react, a massive, armoured shape launched up onto the barricade. With one swipe of a large paw, it sent two turians flying from the barricade. Both hit the ground down below hard and did not get up again.

"Brute!" the cry was up.

Without waiting for anything resembling an invitation or an order, Shepard was running out of the post, Garrus and Vega following close at her heels. Dashing off towards danger instead of away from it was something that Liara was used to, she had even come to expect it. Once again with the familiar weight of the Carnifex in her hand, Liara ran. She did her best to push down any twinges of exhaustion she felt as her feet move across the ground. Although the creature sweeping across the top of the barricade was formidable, it soon went down beneath their combined arms fire. Warp fields helped break up its armour and eventually the bullets penetrated its thick hide. With an awful cry, the creature reared up on its hind legs once before crashing to the ground as a dead weight.

The others were already up on the barricade, firing down into the oncoming enemies as she was scrambling up the ladder past the dead Brute.

_I am in terrible shape,_ she thought to herself as she dragged herself up onto the platform. _I need less time playing Shadow Broker, more time running for my life._

More husks were rushing the barricade. They were scrambling up the embankments on either side almost as fast as they could be shot down. However the defenders now had the additional challenge of being shot at. Bullets zipped towards them from the arm mounted weapons of creatures that she heard the turians call Cannibals. There were also more humanoid soldiers, although as she managed to get a decent look at one it looked more like a Turian. She alternated between warp fields and throws with her biotics, trying to trigger as many explosions as she could. The blue mass effect fields rippled across the rocky terrain below the barricade.

Eventually she had to resort to the Carnifex as exhaustion once again set in. Two Cannibals directly below her position suddenly trained their weapons on her. _Goddess_ , she thought as she ducked behind cover. Bullets pinged off the metal all around her. Only a few metres away she could see Shepard, fearlessly standing with her upper body exposed above the parapet. She ducked down only to slam another thermal clip into her rifle. Seconds later, the Commander was standing once more. There was none of the rage found on other soldiers, just a blank calm as though she was simply doing her job. Liara went to try and stand herself, only to hear the tell-tale warning of a grenade about to detonate. She flung herself to one side but she was not fast enough. The blast hit her with a glancing blow and sent her flying. With her ears ringing and the breath sucked out of her lungs, Liara was unable to stop herself from falling over the side of the barricade. The impact with the ground further incapacitated her. It wasn't until she groggily looked up and saw a pair of clawed feet in front of her that she realised she had fallen on the wrong side of the barricade. She was lying half-dazed as another Brute approach. Liara jerked her head up in time to see its bulk bearing down on her.

_Get up, T'Soni!_ She thought desperately, placing both hands into the earth and trying to force her torso off the ground. Her upper half lifted and with an anguished grunt she managed to get into a half-kneeling position. She readied her hand but when she tried to summon the energy to build a mass effect field, there was none.

Above her, the Brute was a scant five metres away. It uttered a savage, ear-shattering roar. Although bullets rained down on it from above, it reared up. Liara froze - any moment and it would charge, swinging its claws into her frail body.

Although Dr Liara T'Soni very rarely utilised human curse words, one now seemed entirely appropriate.

"Fuck."


	10. Waltzing with Husks

**_Collector Base, Galactic Core_ **

" _Shepard!"_

_There was the salty tang of blood on her tongue. When she drew in a breath it seemed to be more dust than air. The hacking cough that followed made it feel like her throat was wet sandpaper. Shepard tried to move some part of her body but her limbs, if they were actually still attached, were uncooperative. Eventually she decided that it was better to simply give up. If she kept her eyes closed then she would be able to sleep, and sleep was all she wanted at that moment. The blissful oblivion that would end the pain and take her to some place that was a hell of a lot nicer than...where the hell was she again?_

" _Shepard!"_

_Again the insistent voice demanding her attention. All she could do was groan and hope that whoever it was would let her sleep. No such luck. A hand held fast to her shoulder and was shaking it forcibly. As the movement restored some of her awareness, she began to feel warmth on her face. The surface upon which she lay was trembling as though it was a living, breathing thing. Warning signals began flashing in her mind. Neither the warmth nor the movement felt safe. Eventually the former became uncomfortable, and then painful as it seared the tender skin of her face._

_The soldier forced herself back to the reality of a critical situation. Her eyelids cracked open a fraction. At first all she saw was light, but then the smooth mask of a quarian formed in her vision. She eventually recognised Tali kneeling beside her prone form. Her squadmate continued to shake her vigorously even though she was now fully conscious._

" _Quit it, I'm back!" Shepard growled, struggling to prop herself up on her elbows._

_With her head elevated, Shepard was able to scan her surroundings. Recognition came almost instantly. She was in the Collector base; they had planted a bomb successfully and were actually looking as though they would survive the trip out. It seemed too good to be true. The revelation of the giant humanoid Reaper had almost dashed any hope. Shepard remembered the desperate concentration of firepower at its weak points, trying to bring it down before it destroyed the platforms they were standing on. The last thing she remembered was the inhuman groan emitting from the monstrosity as it fell into the abyss below them. The world had then fallen apart in a blur._

_Tali was still in front of her, which meant she was missing a squad member. "Where's Kasumi?"_

_Shepard had managed to pull herself into a half-crouching position. It was all she could manage as the fog gradually cleared from her head. The warmth she had felt while semi-conscious was from the flames licking at the edge of the platform she lay on. Everything was vibrating beneath them. At any moment the whole structure could break apart. It would be the_ Normandy _SR-1 all over again – except this time Cerberus would spend money to ensure she stayed dead as opposed to the other way around._

_In response to her question, Tali simply turned her head to the left. Shepard's gaze followed. Kasumi was staring back at her, but the little thief could not speak for herself. There was no life in her eyes. Most of her lower body lay trapped beneath a fallen slab that probably weighed several tons. Shepard clenched her teeth and dragged herself to her feet. She half-stumbled to the body and set about trying to lever the platform free with just her hands. There was very little thought involved, just determination._

" _Shepard," Tali said in disbelief, all the while her head scanned the unstable architecture around them. "We have to move!"_

" _No, I'm not leaving a squadmate behind – not in this place," Shepard said as she let out a groan of effort. Her fingers were digging into the heavy stone, her arms and back were straining._

_Tali was again tugging on her shoulder - slender, gloved hands pulling at her hardsuit with just as much desperation. Shepard angrily yanked out of the quarian's grip._

" _Kasumi is dead, Shepard!" Tali almost yelled in her face. The usually quiet and reserved quarian's eyes burned fiercely behind her mask. "If we stay here we'll die too!"_

" _Leave then," Shepard replied. "I'm staying here. I don't care either way."_

" _Shepard..." Tali's voice trailed off as she stared at her Commander, still trying in vain to free the dead woman. She stood staring until a falling chunk of rock smashed nearby and spurred her back to action. "We need to leave – now! There are people out there waiting for you to come back!"_

_Shepard was about to demand who those people were – Miranda? The Cerberus Operative would probably be annoyed that she'd spent two years of her life working to bring someone back from the dead only to have her die again several months down the track. The sex was good, without a doubt, but Shepard instinctively knew it meant little to either of them beyond that. It could never mean more to her because she was in love, and not with Miranda._

_Liara._

_Although she had told herself repeatedly that it was over, a part of her still refused to listen. It made perfect sense for the relationship to end – they were incompatible in almost every way. Liara's protective instincts were cloying and detrimental to her occupation. This wasn't even taking into consideration the fact that she would die centuries before Liara._

_However none of those things mattered when she accepted the fact that she loved the asari without reservation._

_Shepard exhaled harshly and finally stopped her futile effort to release Kasumi's body from the slab that had crushed the delicate thief. She reached out and gently laid a gloved finger on the dead woman's cheek._

" _Go well, Goto Kasumi-san," she whispered._

_It almost broke her to leave Kasumi lying there. The thief had risked so much on her behalf. At least now Kasumi could be with Keiji. As more rock fell around them and tendrils of flame stretched out their hungry fingers, she looked to her remaining squadmate. The young quarian's body language was tense in anticipation. Tali clearly had no desire to die in this place._

" _Let's get the hell out of here, Tali."_

* * *

 

**Menae, Apien Crest**

It was easy to underestimate husks. Lightly armoured, unarmed and practically mindless, a single husk could be mown down by even the least powerful weapon. However the creatures usually travelled in bloodthirsty packs. When you were already surrounded by things that were actually shooting at you, being flanked by husks was a very real danger.

The Mattock was alive in Shepard's hands, spraying the battlefield below with accurate shots. Both the Turians stationed to her left had been cut down by concentrated fire from the Cannibals below leaving her exposed and vulnerable. She spun to her unprotected left only to find the gaping mouth of a husk filling her vision. Although she emptied the last few shots in her clip into its chest, it leapt upwards with surprising agility and wrapped its claw-like hands around her neck.

"Get off me!" Shepard growled as she tried to yank it off with one hand.

The concussive blast from a grenade thumped painfully in her ears. Somewhere in the distance she heard desperate shouts, it may have even been Garrus calling out Liara's name. Something sparked within Shepard. With nothing less than brute strength, she dragged the husk from her body and threw it to the ground. Without hesitation she brought the heel of her boot down to crush its skull. She ignored the creature's death throes as she turned to scan the barricade. The Turians were all concentrating their fire on one target just below them. The awful feeling that gripped Shepard in the following split second was born of instinct – the small part of her that remained connected to Liara despite their separation. Her battle-trained mind assessed everything at once – Liara struggling to get to her feet on the ground below, the Turians desperately trying to bring the advancing Brute down with small arms fire. Without hesitation Shepard vaulted the wall and dropped to the ground below, directly in between Liara and the creature.

Even the most brilliant of soldiers had occasional lapses –often ending with their deaths. When Shepard jammed her finger on the trigger of her rifle, only the gut-wrenching sound of an empty thermal clip responded. There was no panic as she simply tossed the rifle aside and smoothly drew the Mantis from its mount on her back. There was time for only a single shot from the cumbersome weapon and she drilled it straight into one of the Brute's eyes. With a howl it stumbled back a pace but recovered quickly and focused on Shepard. Its remaining eye glowed as it advanced, preparing to charge. Swinging back one of its grotesque claws, the Brute threw itself forward. Shepard dived, rolled and bounced back to her feet. As she moved backwards, drawing the Brute away from Liara, she smoothly slammed in another round. There was no time to do anything other than fire the sniper rifle from her hip. The powerful weapon shot into the Brute's chest with little effect. Even the shots from above seemed unable to penetrate its armour. Shepard felt the unyielding solidity of a rocky outcrop at her back and she was forced to roll to one side.

Suddenly a pattering of almost insignificant weapons fire danced along its back. Liara was on one knee, SMG in hand, drawing the Brute away from Shepard. With agility unusual in such a bulky creature, it spun towards the new threat. Unlike Shepard, Liara was unable to roll fast enough. The Brute's claw caught her in a glancing blow across her chestplate. Shepard saw Liara's shields flicker and fail. Liara was sent spinning to the ground, hitting with a sickening thud.

"Fuck it," Shepard hissed.

Dropping the Mantis as well, she extended her arm and her omni-blade buzzed to life. Boots pounding on the rocks, she crossed the short distance in a sprint as though she was approaching a hurdle. Launching herself upwards, her boots landed on the Brute's back at the moment she drove her blade downwards. It pierced at the base of the Brute's neck and she buried it deep with as much force as she could muster. With savage cry the Brute whirled in a last-ditch effort to shake her off even as its legs buckled beneath its weight. Shepard lost her grip as the blade shattered. She was tossed to the ground, landing hard. She was immediately forced to roll as the Brute crashed down beside her, mercifully lifeless.

Behind her the barricade door came down, Vega charged through with his Mattock cutting down the last remaining Cannibals. Garrus was soon at Liara's side and she was safely flanked by a squad of Turians. The asari was already standing on her feet and was waving aside any offer of help. With blood streaming down the side of her face, Liara searched the ground around where she had fallen. A moment later, she retrieved the Carnifex she had lost in her fall. When Liara looked up and saw Shepard staring, she responded with a determined nod to indicate that she thought she was okay.

With the immediate vicinity now clear, Shepard felt like flopping back to the ground and closing her eyes. She spent a few moments staring at Liara as she walked, running her gaze over her body to ensure she was as okay as she claimed. The asari was walking gingerly despite refusing aid. Although she couldn't see her face, Shepard knew she was in pain. With a sigh, Shepard retrieved both her fallen weapons and sought out Garrus as they made their way back towards the CP.

"Not like you to throw away your weapon in a fight...twice," the Turian ribbed Shepard mercilessly.

"Sometimes I feel like a challenge," Shepard shrugged.

"Leaping onto the back of a Brute armed only with an omni-blade?" Garrus commented. "That's not a challenge, that's sheer lunacy."

Shepard merely grunted as they made their way back to the CP. While she could claim that she would have done the same thing for any comrade in trouble, a nagging doubt told her that this wasn't true.

Even when something went right, it wasn't entirely straightforward. With a small group assembled in the CP, General Corinthus informed them that he had been successful in tracing the whereabouts of the new Turian Primarch. The lines of succession pointed towards a General Victus. The catch was that the General's lines of communication were down and there was no way to reach him.

"We'll just have to go on foot," Shepard announced quickly.

Corinthus stabbed his finger down on a point on the map some two miles away. "This was his last known position; the report was that the company there was holding the line...barely. We can spare you a squad, Commander."

Shepard nodded her thanks. At her side, Garrus coughed to gain attention.

"I'll be leading the squad," Garrus announced, surprising his General. "Corinthus, you're in charge here."

Grateful for her old friend's support, Shepard followed Garrus out of the CP. Her eyes were already scanning the compound and it didn't take her long to find what she was looking for. Liara was seated on a stores crate with an impatient expression on her face. A Turian medic was kneeling in front of her trying to tend to her wounds.

"Depart in fifteen?" Garrus asked.

"Make it ten," Shepard replied promptly.

Garrus sighed. "Guess I'll have to get used to you ordering me around again. Right, I'll pick my squad and make sure they're locked and loaded."

"Just one more thing, Garrus," Shepard drew the Turian aside and lowered her voice. "Can you spare a couple of men to take Liara back to the landing zone? I'm calling the _Normandy_ to send a shuttle to pick her up."

Garrus nodded but he also looked to where Liara was receiving treatment for the gash to her forehead. Even as the medic was trying to clean her wound, she was busy examining her weapons to see if they had been damaged.

"Have you told her about your plan?" Garrus asked, clearly suspecting that Liara would not be impressed.

Shepard also looked towards Liara and her expression was slightly stricken. "I was kind of avoiding that job."

With nothing except a sympathetic shrug from Garrus in reply, she gave in and started towards the asari. Shepard had been around enough battlefield injuries to know when a soldier needed to be taken out of the fight.  Although the wound on Liara's forehead was relatively minor and easily patched, the dried blood trailing from beneath her crest concerned Shepard the most. The concussive force from the grenade had slammed into the shields of her hardsuit, possibly doing internal damage that a field medic would be unable to detect. The once shiny white breastplate of Liara's hardsuit was scraped and dented where the Brute's glancing blow had caught her. Although her weakened shields had absorbed a large part of a blow that ordinarily would have killed her, the blow had to have been hard enough to break ribs.

"Hey," Shepard ventured quietly as she approached.

Liara looked up as the medic nodded that he had finished. The Turian moved away and left them together, out of earshot of even the nearest soldiers. The cut was clean and liberal amounts of medi-gel had stanched the flow of blood and already begun the healing process.

"I have forgotten how many times you have saved my life, Shepard," Liara commented in reply, her gaze steady as she met Shepard's. "But I will continue to remember to thank you each time."

Shepard opened her mouth to reply but her ex-lover gave her no opportunity as she quickly held up her Carnifex. Shepard immediately noticed that one side of the gun was cracked and melted where it had been hit with the same blast that knocked Liara off the barricade. Liara levelled it at a rock several feet away and pulled the trigger with no result.

"Firing mechanism is probably shot," Shepard pointed out helpfully. A part of her was swollen with pride at Liara's determination. However the greater part was concerned, not only for the asari's wellbeing, but for the success of her mission. She couldn't afford to have anyone slowing them down, no matter how determined they were.

"You make me ashamed to admit that I just point and shoot," Liara said as she lowered her gaze. "I will find something else before we set out – if not another Carnifex then I am sure I could make do with a Predator."

"Liara," Shepard began. She swallowed awkwardly. "That won't be necessary."

Liara looked up again, her eyes slightly wide. "Well, I do have the SMG but you know as well as I that its stopping power is next to non-existent. I may as well have been throwing stones at that Brute -"

"Liara," Shepard interrupted her and sighed. She knew how stubborn Liara could be. This was not going to end well. "You're in no condition to continue, not with this fight. I'm sending you back to the _Normandy_ so Dr Chakwas can take a look at you."

Liara stared up at Shepard incredulously. She looked away and then back up at her again as though the decision may have changed in that short moment. Shepard hoped that the expression on her face indicated that she was serious, but she was worried that it merely came across as heartless. When she tried to soften it slightly, nothing happened except a slight twitching of her facial muscles.

"You have decided that I need medical treatment? You and what authority _Dr_ Shepard?" Liara asked, her tone slightly scathing, especially as she said the word 'doctor'.

"On my authority as your Commander!" Shepard's voice rose to the point where others in the distance were now looking towards them discreetly. "Liara, be reasonable. You were lucky that grenade didn't tear straight through your shields and turn your brain into a bowl of mush! Not to mention being clawed by a ton of Reaper engineered killing machine. Can you sit there and honestly tell me that you are fit for combat?"

"Goddess, Shepard! So now I am incapable of being reasonable? That and the fact that I am a burden to the squad because I am so frail?" Liara stood and threw the damaged Carnifex down at Shepard's feet. "I may not be a Turian or an Alliance Special Forces graduate but I can take care of myself...or have you forgotten?"

Liara held out her hand with the intention of forming a mass effect field. She was of half a mind to throw Shepard across the compound with it. However, when she glanced down at her hand there was nothing there, just her empty palm staring back at her. A few moments of additional concentration produced nothing except a sudden and head-splitting ache behind her temples. To make matters even worse, Shepard reached out and laid a gentle hand on her upper arm - like a condescending adult talking to a misbehaving child.

"Garrus has set aside some of his men to escort you-" Shepard began.

Liara wrenched her arm away. "I do not need an escort!"

"Liara-"

"Piss off, Shepard!" Liara said with a biting edge to her tone. The asari purposefully mimicked the words Shepard had said to her upon ending their relationship months earlier.

As Liara left in the direction of the compound's main gate, the two Turians Garrus had delegated to escort her discreetly tagged along. They had seen the altercation and had wisely decided not to engage the angry asari in conversation. Liara did not look back.

"That went well," Garrus remarked sympathetically when Shepard re-joined him in the command post.

Shepard sighed as she deliberately watched Liara walk away. "As well as could be expected."

"Well," Garrus added almost immediately. "If you ask me-"

"I didn't ask you, Vakarian!" Shepard interrupted in a voice made bitter and harsh by pain.

Garrus held up his hands to indicate that he had no wish to argue with her further. Shepard regretted reacting angrily, especially with one of the kindest individuals she knew. To bring things back into perspective she turned her head skywards. The orange light from the fires of Palaven mingled with the Cerberus tech that was constantly in a state of war within her body. For some reason her hardsuit suddenly chafed her skin, and her weapons, familiar as they were, felt heavy against her back. She was in her natural environment, but she suddenly wanted nothing more than to be sitting on a stool at a quiet bar somewhere in the galaxy. Shepard had never felt the urge to talk through anything with a friend, let alone something as personal as her relationship with Liara, but a part of her craved that conversation. If she could just get it all out of her own mind and into someone else's, then perhaps the whole damn mess would start to make sense.

"Dammit, Garrus." Shepard turned away from Palaven but she could still see the fires burning behind her eyes. "I didn't mean...fuck it, the sooner we locate this Primarch the sooner I can get back to my fucking ship."

* * *

 

Shepard was usually able to lose herself in the routine of combat. It was a role she slipped into like a glove. Being constantly on alert with her finger poised above her trigger was her natural state of being. The only experience that felt more natural was her naked body pressed against that of her asari lover. With the latter now just a raw, aching memory, all she had was the present world of fire and death. Shepard's boots crunched on the rocky surface as she moved through her existence.

For some reason everything felt wrong. Simple things that she ordinarily took for granted. Her rifle felt unnaturally heavy in her hands. The heart beat thumping in her ears did not sound like that of a hardened combat veteran. It pumped in a rapid, tense beat – resembling that of someone who was scared.

She kept her eyes on Garrus' back as he led the way ahead. The Turian leader had quickly settled into the role of scout. A quick glance over her shoulder confirmed that Vega and the Normandy team, as well as Garrus' hand-picked Turian squad were following in single file.

Overheard, Turian fighters whirled and dived in their seemingly futile struggle against the Reaper onslaught. Even as Shepard watched, at least three fighters fell to Menae's surface – reduced to nothing more than balls of fire. One slammed into the ground less than fifty metres away, close enough for Shepard to feel the heat on her face.

"Shit," Vega said just behind her. "They're getting hammered up there!"

No reply was necessary. As Shepard ran she heard Vega's footsteps close in on her until he was jogging almost at her side. She couldn't be bothered to open her mouth and tell him to fuck off.

"The doc didn't look too happy at being taken out of the fight," he commented absently.

Shepard glared at him out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't tell whether he was simply making conversation or if he was deliberately trying to piss her off.

"Would you?" Shepard fired back.

"Hell no!" Vega shook his head. "The only way you'd get me out of here is by stretcher."

"So you're saying I shouldn't have sent T'Soni back to the _Normandy_?"

"Nah, the doc was done," Vega admitted. "Caught that grenade blast almost square on – not to mention being slammed by that ugly son of a bitch. You made the right decision, Commander."

"Thanks, Vega," Shepard said in a tight voice. "Your approval means the world to me."

He just grinned in response to her sarcasm and fell back a few paces.

_This is ridiculous_ , Shepard thought _. I can't continually question my own decisions just because they involve...her._

She was absently wondering whether Hackett would appreciate Liara's skills working on the Prothean device when she saw Garrus raise his fist up ahead. She repeated the gesture and the column halted behind her, each soldier dropping to one knee and scanning the surrounds with furtive gazes. Their position was unfortunate – the narrow track was hemmed in by a sharp rise on one side and a sheer drop on the other. Keeping her head down, Shepard moved up to join Garrus. She dropped down beside him.

"Garrus, we need to move!" she hissed.

"Ambush, up ahead," the Turian replied in a calm voice.

Shepard looked in the direction of his nod. She saw it too. It was the perfect position for the enemy to simply lie in wait. The path was flanked on both sides by rocky outcrops that offered concealment. Even in the dim light, she could see shadows moving and the odd light reflection off a weapon.

"No time to outflank them," Shepard growled. "Can we call in a strike?"

"Only thing for it. Hopefully we have something left in the way of air support," Garrus replied doubtfully.

As he began to open a channel on his omni-tool, there was a sudden explosion up ahead. Someone or something had ambushed the ambushers. Several shapes moved down the hill, directly atop the enemy positions. Shepard soon recognised the rapid, pulsing fire of Turian Phaeston assault rifles. It seemed as though the Turian defenders still had some attacking spirit after all.

"Time to go help out," Shepard suggested to Garrus.

"My thoughts exactly," Garrus replied, already rising from his crouch and surging forward.

The Turian leader made several hand signals to his men. As the well-trained unit they were, the squad fanned out and moved forward slowly. They were to lay down a suppressing fire while Garrus, Shepard and the _Normandy_ team swarmed the positions. As one, the Turians opened fire. The enemy had turned to face the threat coming down on them and were unprepared to face a frontal assault. As soon her rifle barked in her hands, Shepard felt her hunting instincts return. Her feet moved swiftly across the ground, closing in on the enemy lines in what felt like a split second. She fired almost point blank into the face of the nearest Marauder. It crumpled almost instantly. There was something extremely satisfying about seeing its face explode. For several glorious minutes at least, thoughts about her love life were banished from even the farthest corners of her mind.

Shepard was still firing, concentrating on bringing down yet another Marauder, when a dark shape blurred the edge of her vision. Recognition came almost instantly, before the husk's claws had even wrapped around her throat. However it was too late to stop the creature from latching onto her body.

"Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit!" she growled in frustration as she tried to wrench it from her torso. It was the second time in only a matter of hours that she had succumbed to their simple tactics.

She had almost peeled its claws away from her when a sudden stabbing pain shot through her chest. Shepard gritted her teeth at the unexpected agony. The pain was instantly recognisable, it was the same constricting sensation she had felt while alone in the Comms room. Shepard grappled with both the husk and the pain, fighting to keep breathing even as her heart beat erratically. The pain from her chest mingled with the pain from the husk's claws as they tore through her armour and into the weak flesh beneath. When the black spots followed only seconds later, Shepard knew that a loss of consciousness would soon follow.

"Shepard!"

Never before had Shepard been so grateful to hear James Vega. She was on her knees when the Lieutenant reached her and wrenched the husk from her body. Its claws took more flesh with them before it released her but seconds later she was free. Behind her, she heard Vega fire his shotgun point blank into the creature as she collapsed to her hands and knees.

"Commander?" Vega was at her side, his hand on her upper arm as he tried to help her back to her feet. "Ma'am?"

Shepard remained slumped over until the pains gradually subsided. By the time Shepard was dragged to her feet, her breathing had once again returned to normal. Only a slight hoarseness to her breath indicated that she had been struggling to breathe only moments earlier. The agony in her chest was replaced by the ache of torn flesh around her neck. She could feel a thin trickle of blood ebbing out, soaking the tight undergarment she wore beneath her armour.

"You okay, Lola?" Vega asked, almost yelling directly in her face to ensure she heard him.

Shepard nodded vaguely, not even caring that Vega had dared to call her 'Lola.' The pain remained but it was soon replaced by the shame of being saved from a husk – a fucking husk.

"I'm fine," Shepard growled, she deliberately pulled away from Vega. "Where's my fucking rifle?"

Shepard had barely retrieved the Mattock and searched for another target when it became clear that the fight was nearing its end. The last Cannibal went down beneath an eager hail of bullets and the two groups of Turians merged. With several recognising comrades, the mood was almost ebullient. Trying to keep any trace of pain from showing on her face, a bloody and weary Shepard moved forward into the group at Garrus' side, nodding to those who greeted her. She had already waved aside an offer of medical assistance for her wounds. Eventually a tall, imposing Turian approached them. His face was covered in white markings and he carried with him an air of authority.

"That was easier than I thought it would be," Garrus commented upon seeing him.

"What are you talking about?" Shepard asked with a frown.

"Commander Shepard, this is General Adrien Victus," Garrus continued.

Victus immediately extended his hand towards Shepard. When she felt his grip it was firm and confident. "Commander Shepard, your infamy precedes you. I must say you were not at all expected...most welcome, but unexpected."

"Well, I'd like to think I have a habit of surprising people, Primarch Victus," Shepard replied.

Victus appeared momentarily taken aback at the title Shepard had suddenly bestowed on him. However, in true Turian fashion he quickly regained composure.

"Fedorian is dead?"

"Killed yesterday," Garrus added. "Looks like you're next in line, Victus."

The Turian responded with a weary grunt. "You expect me to just walk away from my men and come play politicians?"

"Yes," Shepard replied bluntly. "And I expect you to do it real fast. I'm on a schedule here, buddy."

The bewildered General simply stared at the human for a few moments before he realised just how serious she was. His expression went from one of defiant anger to acceptance within less than a minute. Shepard was secure in the knowledge that she would return to the _Normandy_ with a Primarch in tow.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

When Shepard walked into the medbay her bruised and bloody neck earned her a reproachful look from the formidable Dr Chakwas. She wasn't quite sure how the good doctor managed it, but somehow she felt guilty for picking up a wound. It was the expression of a mother whose child had been bitten by the dog it was taunting.

"What on earth managed to do that to you?" Chakwas asked.

"Husk," Shepard mumbled. She felt like saying it had been a more respectable foe, like a Brute, but somehow sensed that Vega was already taking great pleasure in telling the crew that his manly strength had saved the Commander from a common husk.

Chakwas didn't seem to care what kind of creature it had been. She merely gave the nearest biobed a hearty slap with the palm of her hand. "Kindly take that dirty armour off and hop up here so I can take a look at you." The doctor then waved her hand vaguely in Shepard's direction. "I would offer to do it myself but I haven't the faintest idea how all those silly straps work."

Shepard set about stripping off her gauntlets, they were both equally filthy and encrusted with all manner of detritus – even a little of her own blood. Meanwhile Chakwas busied herself, collecting a supply of medi-gel and some medical tools. Although probably quite harmless, Shepard eyed each of the instruments warily. Given the superficial nature of her wound, she had a suspicion that the tools were for show – another element of Chakwas' display of disapproval. Although Shepard could read the expressions and actions, they weren't something she was familiar with. Her own mother had neglected to scold her with any conviction to the point where any actual efforts were shrugged off by her daughter. As her armour was slowly stripped away, Shepard realised that she actually enjoyed the disapproval. Chakwas was a medical professional and a friend, but at the same time she inadvertently prodded the Commander towards feeling something different. There were people that cared about what happened to her.

"Did Liara come in, doc?" Shepard asked as she fumbled with the straps on other gauntlet.

"Eventually," the doctor's voice took on an even sterner tone. "I had received word from the shuttle pilot to expect her. When she didn't show I had to send a crewmember to track her down. She had returned to her quarters and was working. Working! In her condition. Needless to say, Shepard, I was not impressed. A stern word from her Commanding Officer may be needed...are you actually getting out of that armour or are you just standing there?"

Shepard had paused altogether at the mention of Liara's 'condition.' Although she resumed taking off her armour, she could concentrate on little else besides Liara. "She was pretty insistent on staying with the mission down on Menae, but after what she'd been through...well, it was enough to have put me or anyone else out of action. Is she...okay?"

"If you call three broken ribs and a perforated eardrum okay then I suppose she is," Chakwas replied. "If you ask me however, Dr T'Soni is not herself. She was overly quiet...and almost hostile. Not to me of course, I was merely patching her up. There is something that seems to be seething under the surface. It was quite out of the ordinary because, well...you know her far better than I. Can I be frank and suggest that you talk to her? I am concerned that it could be something serious."

_Or it could be the same demon that's eating me_ , Shepard thought to herself. However for the doctor's benefit she gave a short nod. "I'll see what I can do."

Shepard tossed the battered chestplate down onto the floor. It landed with a dull clatter. Although she knew the armour could probably be repaired, her wound served as a reminder that it was time to upgrade her standard N7 set with something that offered a little more protection. She had heard about a new Kassa Fabrications chestplate that offered a substantial boost to standard shield defences. Cortez would be able to rustle her up a set – the man was a master scavenger. Shepard also peeled off the upper half of the armour's undersuit. She grimaced as the thick, skin-tight material peeled away from her lacerated skin. Dr Chakwas was then able to examine the wounds with a well-practised eye.

"Well, it's far from the worst wound you've ever come to me with," Dr Chakwas surmised. "But I must say it is not pretty. What on earth were you doing with that creature? Giving it a hug? Trying to dance with it?"

"Just patch me up as best you can, doc," Shepard said in a grumpy haste. "Hackett and Anderson will be waiting for my report."

Although clearly not impressed with Shepard's request, Dr Chakwas nevertheless set about tending to the mess the husk had made of her neck. All the while she kept up a quiet but constant stream of chatter – happily advising Shepard that she would be fully functional in a matter of days with no scarring.

The rest of the conversation merely washed over Shepard like water. She nodded politely and even interjected with a few words at the appropriate moment. Her impatience was born out of inaction and too much time - time to sit and think about certain matters that she wanted desperately to ignore.

* * *

 

Shepard did her best to keep her movements to a minimum as she stood in front of the holographic representations of Admirals Hackett and Anderson. Both seemed unsurprised that she had managed to secure the support of the Turian Primarch.

"With a little persuading from Primarch Victus, the Krogans and Salarians have agreed to a war summit," Shepard explained, wincing as she shifted her arm to a more comfortable position. "Only the asari have refused to participate. They wish us well with the Crucible but are looking purely to the defence of their own borders."

Hackett responded with a frown. "That is surprising."

"Hardly," Shepard muttered under her breath. _Stubborn, pig-headed...god-damned asari._ _Fuck them all with their lithe bodies and gorgeous tits..._

Anderson added his congratulations. "I knew Earth could rely on you to gather support, Shepard. I see I was right in assigning you this task after all."

"Yes sir," a mildly distracted Shepard did her best to return to the task at hand instead of the images that were flashing through her mind." _Gorgeous, gorgeous tits...fuck it, her tits are magnificent._ Shepard clenched her teeth for a moment and deliberately jerked her arm, sending sharp waves of pain shooting out to distract her. "The Prothean device, have you completed your analysis?"

"Indeed," Hackett replied, the first hints of a smile appearing on his weary face. "You'll be pleased to know that construction has commenced. We're throwing everything we've got at this thing, Shepard. We weren't sure if it was possible at first, but once underway the construction of the Crucible has been surprisingly simple – labour intensive, but simple."

"The Crucible?"

"Our name for the device," Hackett explained. "I think it will be a great tool in committing the other races to our cause, but you do whatever it takes to guarantee their support. We're continuing to count on you, Shepard. I know it's a weighty responsibility-"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, sir," Shepard quickly interrupted. She didn't need to be reminded of just how weighty a responsibility it actually was.

A nagging thought rose at the back of her mind. The words were on the tip of her tongue. Just a few words to Hackett and Liara would be off the _Normandy_ , out of sight and contributing her considerable knowledge in the aid of the Crucible's construction.

"Is there anything else, Shepard? Hackett asked. "How are your crew holding up?"

Shepard paused; the opportunity was right in front of her. "Admirably under the circumstances." _As painful as it is to see her constantly, it would destroy me to send her away._ "They're all fine, sir."

"Just as I expected," Hackett said, his voice pleased. "We'll let you get back to the coal face."

"Stay strong, Shepard," Anderson added.

Shepard nodded once and both Hackett and Anderson disappeared from view. Although she was always conscious that time was critical, for some reason she was in no great hurry to leave the Comms room. She placed her hands on the console in front of her and tried to take some of the weight off her aching feet. However as soon as she put weight on her arms, her neck wounds protested with slight stabs of pain. They also itched uncomfortably as they tried to heal. A quiet sigh was accompanied by an overwhelming sense of fatigue. As her mouth stretched into a silent yawn, Shepard realised that she had not slept in over thirty hours. It was with no small amount of determination that she ignored her instincts to head straight to the command deck to check in with Comms Specialist Traynor and instead punched in the command for the elevator to take her straight up to her quarters.

A few hours' sleep was currently the only luxury she could offer herself.

 


	11. Evisceration

**SSV Normandy SR-2**

_The two sweaty, exhausted and very naked women collapsed back on the bed they had just spent the better part of several hours messing up. The bed sheets were tangled around their limbs and the pillows thrown in several directions. Various items of clothing clung to the foot of the bed, while others were littered in a path starting at the door to the Captain's quarters. Shepard brushed a damp clump of hair out of her eyes and turned her head to look at the woman nestled comfortably against her flank. Miranda Lawson regarded her with a calm gaze through heavily lidded eyes. The XO then stifled a small, satisfied yawn._

_Miranda exhaled with satisfaction. "Being alive really enhances the sex drive."_

_Shepard almost smiled. "Your sex drive didn't need any enhancing."_

_Miranda laughed openly. It was a light, carefree sound - the sort of sound made by someone who had survived a mission she had not expected to return from and was thoroughly grateful to be alive. She was also fairly certain that she was now an ex-Cerberus operative. Shepard's actions in destroying the Collector Base had incriminated the entire crew in the eyes of the Illusive Man - none more so than her._

_Even upon reflection of this rather momentous life change, Miranda found she couldn't care less. She lifted her hand and gently stroked the taught stomach muscles of the woman lying next to her. Shepard was lying on her back staring up at the ceiling. None of the relief that Miranda felt was reflected in the Commander's bland, almost sombre expression. With a sigh, Miranda disentangled herself from Shepard's arms and flopped over onto her back. She wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to open her mouth, but her curiosity eventually got the better of her._

" _You're thinking about her aren't you?" she ventured carefully._

_Shepard didn't even bother to ask who, that much was obvious. Mentioning an ex-lover wasn't exactly post-coital discussion material. Still, their relationship was hardly orthodox._

" _I miss her," Shepard replied simply. "While we were over there I didn't care about anything...not even returning alive."_

_As Shepard's voice trailed off, Miranda interjected, "Until thoughts of your asari lover entered your mind and you realised you had something to live for...and so on and so forth until we all throw up with the loveliness of it all. Am I right?" At Shepard's nod, Miranda continued, "Then you won't mind me asking you why the hell things ended between the two of you?"_

_Miranda knew the question would piss Shepard off, but to her surprise the Commander merely appeared reflective._

" _To tell the truth, it was sort of deliberate on my part," Shepard admitted._

" _Sort of?"_

" _Okay it was deliberate," Shepard clarified reluctantly. "Liara and I, we're no good for one another. She'll soon come to realise that nothing about our relationship was meant to last...especially not my pathetic human lifespan."_

_Miranda felt the sweat cooling her skin to the point where she was almost cold. She wanted to drag the bed sheets up over her body but could not be bothered to move. Beside her, Shepard shifted slightly so that their skin was no longer in contact. Miranda suddenly felt worlds apart from the other woman instead of just a few millimetres._

" _You have got to be one of the most obtuse individuals I have ever encountered, Shepard," she eventually commented in a reluctant tone. "Liara's love for you overcame death. Did she not explain what she had to go through to bring your body to Cerberus?"_

_Shepard offered up a tortured sigh - clearly already regretting being so open with her. It no doubt disturbed Shepard that she had so much information on such a sensitive subject and that she could interpret it so accurately. Probably more so than Shepard herself._

_"Yeah, a little...she took on the most powerful information broker in the galaxy, sacrificed Feron."_

" _She became an entirely different person for you!" Miranda exclaimed impatiently after she recognised Shepard's failure to understand her point. She rolled out of bed and began hunting for her clothes even as she continued talking. "That innocent young asari you met on Therum is gone, and she isn't coming back...because of you, Shepard. She changed and became what you needed. If that's not love then I don't know what is."_

_Of course Miranda was right. Unwilling to concede the victory, Shepard fixed a small scowl on her face. Although Miranda's observations had been obvious to her from the moment she had met Liara on Illium, she hated to admit that she was responsible for such a life-altering change._

_A lot of memories faded over time, but some remained as though they had happened merely the day before. Shepard remembered the thoroughly unpleasant atmosphere, the oppressive heat and industrial odour of Therum. Even small details remained clear and sharp. Her knee had been stiff from a bad fall and she was worried that it would hinder her during combat. It turned out that neither the smell nor her sore knee bothered her from the moment she saw the asari trapped within the strange blue field. Liara had been exhausted and frightened, yet calm at the same time. The individual that had tumbled free of the field and into Shepard's arms had been reclusive, quiet and almost completely lacking in knowledge regarding the human species. None were traits which normally attracted Shepard to someone, and yet, in the days and weeks that followed Liara joining her crew, she had found each trait strangely endearing. It was more than a physical attraction. This was Dr Liara T'Soni - the intellectual researcher who enjoyed the company of a race dead for thousands of years over that of the living._

_The Liara T'Soni that had greeted Shepard on Illium seemed almost a different asari. In their pursuit of the Shadow Broker Liara had been relentless, violent and almost cruel in her indifference towards her squadmates. It was no wonder that it had been so difficult for Shepard to adjust to being in her presence._

_And now? Just who the hell was Liara? She was the Shadow Broker – by reputation known as one of the most relentless, ruthless minds in the galaxy. Shepard had seen the look in Liara's eyes when she accepted that fate had intended for her to take over the broker's network. There had been a hunger evident there, and very little trace of reluctance. She slipped into the role as though she had been born to it._

" _Then why the hell did you seduce me?" Shepard eventually asked Miranda in a disgruntled voice._

_Instead of reclining casually on the bed, she rolled over and stretched out towards the nearest item of clothing. Her fingers curled around the fallen t-shirt and she drew it back towards her with the intention of getting dressed._

_Miranda snorted derisively. Only half dressed herself, she walked back towards the bed and snatched Shepard's t-shirt out of her grasp. Even though she was annoyed, Shepard still found her eyes roaming downwards over Miranda's chest. She eventually caught herself and guiltily jerked her gaze back to the other woman's face._

" _As if I, or anyone else for that matter, could ever seduce someone like you," she said pointedly. Miranda reached out and stroked the side of Shepard's face as she continued, "Do you honestly think that I would have taken it upon myself to convince you that Liara was the love of your life, deviating you even further from your mission and depriving both of us of a willing and very competent sexual partner for a month? I surprise myself with my magnanimity sometimes, but you and I both know I'm not that nice."_

" _No, you're a fucking bitch," Shepard retorted._

_She suddenly made a desperate lunge towards her stolen t-shirt. However, before her fingers could close on the garment, Miranda tossed it away with a dismissive movement. With the fluid grace of a natural fighter, Shepard changed her trajectory and instead seized Miranda around the waist. With a gentle strength she pulled her back onto the bed. Miranda's magnificent breasts were back in front of her face and she took great pleasure in clamping her teeth lightly on the nearest nipple._

_Miranda let out a noise in protest, but she soon relaxed back onto the bed as Shepard's ministrations became increasingly tender._

" _You are incorrigible," Miranda whispered. When she eventually tried to disentangle herself from Shepard's arms, her movements were sluggish and reluctant._

" _What can I say except that I love tits," Shepard murmured between mouthfuls. She stopped when Miranda's efforts to leave became more serious. "You can stay you know, unless all this talk about my ex has put you off?"_

_Miranda smirked. "It would have long since put any normal woman off sleeping with you. Thankfully, neither you nor I are exactly what you would call 'normal women.' I'd love to oblige your gratuitous lust, Shepard, but this ship isn't going to run itself forever."_

" _I hate it when you're right," Shepard growled. She loosened her firm grip on the other woman._

_Although Miranda was free to leave, she remained lying next to Shepard. After a few moments, Shepard found herself unconsciously stroking the smooth skin of her flank. The movement didn't help dampen her desire, but she found it oddly comforting._

" _What's your next move?" Shepard asked suddenly. She almost bit her lip before the sentence was finished, wondering how it had even slipped out in the first place. After a few moments reflection, she realised that her reasons for asking the question went beyond curiosity to something approaching concern._

" _You have no idea how refreshing it is to say 'I have absolutely no idea' for once in my life," Miranda admitted with a satisfied sigh. "After your little stunt in blowing the hell out of the Collector Base against a direct order from the Illusive Man I think you've burnt all my bridges with Cerberus. Do you think the Alliance would consider giving a commission to an ex- Cerberus operative?"_

_Shepard shrugged. "If they take me back they'll accept anyone...even you."_

_Miranda playfully slammed her fist into Shepard's arm. A few moments later, she finally disentangled herself from Shepard's lazy embrace. She rose smoothly from the bed and set about gathering up her discarded clothes._

" _What about you, Shepard? I know you'll go back to the Alliance of course...but home first? Wherever that is."_

" _Honestly, I've never had a home," Shepard said the words in a simple tone - without a trace of remorse. How could she miss something she had never known? "When I was a kid we lived wherever my mother was posted. Then when I joined up, I went wherever I was told. I guess the_ Normandy _is the only real home I've ever known. I guess that's a little sad. I'm 31 years old and I've never had so much as a boxy little apartment to call my own."_

_Miranda was bent over, drawing her lithe limbs back into her skin-tight suit. Shepard simply watched as she only ever helped Miranda out of her clothing. It was an easier and far more enjoyable task. As she lay back on her bed she thought of her last statement and tried to recall a time when she had ever wanted that little apartment. She had vague memories of such thoughts while lying awake in the darkness of her quarters with a sleeping asari in her arms. When there was nothing except peace, quiet and a sense of immense sexual satisfaction, it was easy to dream. It seemed entirely sensible to picture herself and Liara with a place of their own. In dreams, the actual details of where and how were entirely unimportant. All that mattered was the idea. Shepard found herself with a small smile on her face._

" _I need to find Liara," Shepard eventually admitted to Miranda...and herself._

" _It's about time you accepted that little fact," Miranda commented – sounding oddly pleased with herself._

_Shepard propped herself up on her elbows and studied Miranda as she slipped her slender arms into her suit. She then began fastening it up completely, depriving Shepard of even the sight of her lacy black bra. Apparently she sensed Shepard's lingering gaze and she looked up with a twinkle in her eye._

" _What?" she asked simply._

" _Is this it?" Shepard replied._

" _If by 'it' you mean the end of a month of perfectly acceptable sex then yes," Miranda continued._

_Shepard shrugged. "I guess. It just seems..."_

" _Please don't tell me you're going all emotional on me, Shepard," Miranda interrupted the silence. "Because I'm quite sure that we both knew exactly what this arrangement was...but if you decide you don't want to run back to the good Dr T'Soni, then I'm sure we've got another twelve months left in this before we tear each other to pieces."_

_Shepard shook her head quickly, a trace of a smile on her lips. "Nothing like that. I just wanted you to know that you're a good friend. I care about-"_

" _I am going to stop you right there," Miranda held up a finger of warning. However, she couldn't keep the grin from creeping onto her face as her reciprocal feelings made themselves known. She gathered up a handful of Shepard's clothes and tossed them onto the bed. "I think it's past time you got dressed, Commander. Lying around naked does nothing for your good sense."_

" _I'll say it again - you are a bitch, Miranda Lawson," Shepard replied as she dragged her t-shirt over her head._

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Shepard emerged from the Comm room in a foul temper - both of her fists were clenched and she had a burning desire to hit something...or someone. However the first face she laid eyes on when she moved through into the War Room was the granite-like visage of Garrus Vakarian. The stalwart Turian immediately recognised the expression on his former Commander's face. It was a sight he had been faced with on numerous occasions. Instead of taking a few steps back, he met Shepard with a level stare.

"You look as though you could do with some good news?" he asked, giving her no space to storm past him.

"Unless you've had another conversation with the asari Councillor that went in an entirely different direction to the one I just had, I don't care," Shepard said tersely. She didn't lash out at Garrus for blocking her path, but her mood was volatile as she stood with her arms folded across her chest. However, when faced with a Turian who wouldn't back down, she eventually let out a reluctant grunt and shrugged. "You might as well tell me."

"Primarch Victus has given me leave to join the _Normandy's_ crew," Garrus announced. "I guess I thought you could use some experienced hands around here...but if you'd rather not have me around-"

"Garrus, don't be ridiculous!" Shepard interrupted quickly. There was a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. It was very good news. "Of course I bloody well want you on my crew!"

"It's settled then. I hate to think about the mess the Alliance has made trying to improve some of the systems. You can't tinker with something that's already perfect," Garrus mused, his mind obviously already turning over various calibrations and improvements to the main battery.

Shepard frowned. "I've never heard you say anything is perfect before. Why tinker if it's perfect?"

Garrus nearly grinned. "Perfection only lasts for a few moments, then I start wondering if it wouldn't be more effective if I made an adjustment or two...and then it's not perfect anymore."

Shepard's tentative smile turned into a grin of her own. She instinctively reached out and grasped Garrus' arm for just a moment. The solid contact with another person was something she sorely needed. "I've missed you, Garrus. Welcome aboard."

"Careful, Shepard," Garrus warned. "If I hear any more sentimentality out of you, I'll have to give you a hug. We both know that's not exactly your sort of thing."

Shepard bristled playfully. "Come on! I like a good hug as much as the next person."

"Only if it's from a certain asari," Garrus suggested gently.

The small smile disappeared from Shepard's face as the words left Garrus' lips. She knew her friend had said the words deliberately. However, the reaction that Shepard gave him was not the one he wanted.

"Fuck the asari," Shepard retorted angrily. "They're all a bunch of sanctimonious, pig-headed snobs."

"Shepard-" Garrus began calmly.

"I busted my gut to get the Turians and Salarians to accept a Krogan presence at the summit," Shepard continued. Her frustration compelled her to pace the short distance available to her. "I saved the asari for last because I thought it would be comparatively easy to sway them. Instead their Councillor uttered some tripe about how she doesn't see any good emerging from such talks! In her infuriatingly polite tone, she managed to insult not only me and my diplomatic skills, but the other three races that are bothering to show up! Granted my diplomatic skills are almost nonexistent, but to act as though they're above everyone else."

"That's just their way," Garrus shrugged casually as Shepard's voice trailed off. "When you live that long you have the time to endlessly analyse everything and debate your decisions. It takes a long time to make decisions in asari society. I believe they have been infuriating Turians for centuries – and I can only guess how painfully slow they must seem to the Salarians."

Shepard slumped back against a console behind her. The dispiriting meeting with the asari Councillor seemed to have sapped that strength she had managed to restore after her sleep. Garrus was looking down at her with his customary, sincere expression, but she didn't feel reassured – not this time.

"I'm glad to have you with us, Garrus," Shepard said in a tired voice. "I presume I'll find you in the forward battery when I need you?"

Garrus sighed reluctantly. "I take it this conversation is over?"

Shepard met Garrus' gaze with a level stare. "I know what you're trying to do, Garrus...and it's not that I don't appreciate it, it's just that..."

"I get it, Shepard," Garrus once again filled in the silence. "You know where I am if you need me."

Shepard allowed Garrus enough time to leave and take the elevator back to the Crew Deck before she followed in the same direction. She'd already had enough of awkward conversations for one day – and she still had the diplomatic summit to contend with.

As Shepard made the trip back to her quarters, she couldn't help but feel isolated. She passed several of her crew members. The ones who didn't know her well saluted stiffly, whereas those who had served with her previously offered a more casual salute or simply uttered a friendly greeting. Shepard found it difficult to curl her lips into anything resembling a smile, so she responded with what she hoped was a resolute nod.

_Don't let the crew see how scared you are._ The old mantra rattled through her head. Shepard slammed her palm against the elevator console and was relieved when the door closed, sealing her into the tight confines alone. _Or exhausted...or just plain old fed up..._

Her bed was the first thing she laid eyes upon when she walked into her quarters a minute later. There was still a depression on one side where she had slept a few hours earlier. Shepard dragged her gaze away from it and instead crossed to her wardrobe. She dragged a dress uniform out from the very back. This particular one was crisply new, having never been worn.

Shepard was uncharacteristically studying herself in a full length mirror five minutes later when the door beeped insistently.

"Come in," she called, even though the last thing she wanted was for one of the crew to see her dressed up like a turkey.

Specialist Samantha Traynor practically bounded into her quarters – the dark haired woman was a petite bundle of nervous energy. Her honest enthusiasm was already grating on Shepard's nerves before she had even opened her mouth.

"Did I get the wrong size?" Traynor asked doubtfully.

Shepard shook her head. "No, I've been the same size for a decade."

She turned and looked at her side profile. The trousers sagged and the jacket looked as though it was a poor cut. With a frown, she faced the mirror head on. The epaulets didn't sit right on her shoulders, and there was too much room over her hips – in fact, the jacket looked more like a sack than a military dress uniform. Although the thought had nagged her for some time, she'd refused to actually believe it. However, now faced with the hard truth, Shepard had to admit that she had lost weight. Whether it was through stress or the fact that she barely sat down for a proper meal anymore, Shepard realised that she looked almost ill. The pinpricks of light in her eyes were glaring back at her as she stared into the mirror. A moment later, she tore her gaze away and faced Samantha Traynor instead.

"Did you have something for me, Traynor?" she asked, more curtly than she had intended.

Flustered, Traynor waved her hands in a pointless gesture. "Um, I was just coming to tell you...we've rendezvoused with the diplomatic ships. The representatives are being ferried to the _Normandy_ as we speak."

"You could have just told me over the comm," Shepard pointed out in an unhelpful voice.

"Um, yes, sorry, Commander," Traynor mumbled, lowering her gaze as her cheeks reddened.

The Specialist turned to leave. Shepard watched her walk up the stairs and suddenly found herself wondering what Traynor's ass looked like out of her uniform - because it looked as though it might be rather...Shepard paused in her thoughts and could have smacked herself over the head with a large hammer. She turned away to avoid further inappropriate thoughts about her crewmember.

_You used to stare at Liara's arse all the time, was that inappropriate?_ Shepard was mulling over this thought when Traynor suddenly stopped walking just as she reached the door and spun on her heels. She bounced back down the stairs.

"Commander, there was something else as well," the Specialist exclaimed in an apologetic voice.

Shepard looked up and tried to soften her expression – if not quite making it friendlier, at least she hoped it was approachable. "Traynor?"

"I thought I should let you know that some of the ship's systems have been behaving very oddly. Power surges for no apparent reason...power drains in other areas. The AI core in particular has been showing some abnormal readings. I asked EDI about it but she was very...evasive. Can an AI tell a lie?"

"Noted, Traynor," Shepard replied. The malfunctions were odd, but Shepard found it difficult to prioritise power surges over a summit involving three bickering, probably hostile races. While one problem had the potential for a ship-wide disaster, the other involved disaster on a galactic scale. If the summit failed, then Earth's future looked very bleak. "Let me know if the situation worsens."

Traynor nodded. "Sorry to have disturbed you, Commander."

Shepard sighed at her crewmember's earnest apology. She felt irritated that circumstances were conspiring to make her into the sort of leader everyone was afraid of. It had never been her style, and she was determined not to let it happen. Even if the Reapers blew them all to hell, she would die knowing she had the respect of her crew. She consciously closed the distance between herself and Traynor. "No, I'm the one who should apologise. I was an arse."

Traynor's eyes widened at Shepard's frank admission. "Commander?"

"You know, an arse? When someone is rude for no apparent reason?" Shepard explained patiently.

Traynor shook her head. "I know what you meant, but it just surprised me a little. You're the Commander...I think you're allowed to be an arse."

Shepard raised her eyebrows, feeling some of her sense of humour return. "So, are you saying that I am an arse, Traynor?"

"No!" the flustered woman replied quickly, her face reddening once more. "I just meant...actually, can we just forget that I opened my mouth at all? That would be very much appreciated."

"I'm just winding you up, Specialist," Shepard admitted in a soft voice. She already felt a release in some of the tension she had been holding, particularly across her shoulders. Somehow the summit didn't seem quite as daunting as it had a few minutes ago. After all, a complete ass should be able to handle a handful of troublesome diplomats. She turned to regard herself in the mirror again, the uniform was still just as ill-fitting as it had been the last time she looked. "I look like a fraud."

"You look splen-," Traynor bit her lip almost immediately and coughed before continuing. "You look very appropriate, Commander."

_Shit, Shepard, you are treading on some very thin ice here,_ the thought crossed Shepard's mind as she watched the gamut of emotions play across the young Specialist's face. It was a look she had seen before, not recently, but she remembered it well. Before all this business with Cerberus and the Reapers turned her into some sort of outcast nutcase, young women were sometimes drawn to her gruff, no-nonsense persona – she couldn't understand why, but nor did she complain. Traynor was most definitely attractive, in the sheltered manner of someone who had spent most of their military service in a lab. Shepard's imagination didn't have to work very hard to picture a thoroughly satisfying fuck, and possibly several more in the near future.

_Quit it, Shepard. She's too young for you…and much, much too innocent._

Shepard's mind returned to duty and she realised that she was running late in her preparations for the summit. She was seriously considering concealing a pistol beneath the table in case things got out of hand. "Walk with me, Traynor?"

The pair of them left Shepard's quarters and slipped into the close confines of the elevator. While she ought to have been concentrating on more pressing matters, all Shepard could think about was the dilemma in her head. On one hand she was completely available for a relationship. Shepard frowned slightly - perhaps not, the 'R' word was terrifying. She was available for casual sex – a thought that caused a slight smile on her face. Simple, unavoidably essential, sex – something she'd gone far too long without.

Then there was something Shepard thought she should call the 'asari factor.' It too was unavoidable, and it complicated every aspect of her life – even the things, like fucking, that should have been uncomplicated. Unfortunately the _Normandy_ was a small ship, and Liara was a very good information broker. Dipping her toes into any metaphorical pool would instantly be on Liara's radar – and Shepard did not think she was prepared to face that level of awkwardness.

"Worried about the summit?"

"Huh?" Shepard realised that she had been lost with her thought train. As they stepped out of the lift on deck two, Traynor was looking towards her expectantly, waiting for a reply to her question. "Um, yeah-"

Any vaguely intelligent reply was cut short as the lights in their immediate vicinity suddenly dimmed. The deck beneath their feet gave a hearty shudder, as though the ship was trying to shake something off. Moments later, the lights came back up only to flicker continuously.

"I think the situation in the AI core has worsened," Traynor commented unhelpfully.

_{Ah, Commander?}_ Joker's nervous voice came over the comm just as the deck was plunged into darkness.

"Joker!" Shepard demanded. 'Talk to me!"

_{We've got reports of a fire in the AI Core. I think you had better get down there.}_

"No shit," Shepard growled.

"I could be of assistance," Traynor added.

"No, I need you to stall the diplomats," Shepard said as she quickly slammed her palm against the elevator console. "I don't care what you do, just don't let Wrex have anything to drink...or try and strangle the Salarian Dalatrass."

Leaving a confused Traynor standing outside, Shepard willed the elevator to move quickly as it took her down to deck three. With the unexpected interruption, her bad mood had quickly returned and intensified. Matters were made entirely worse when she emerged on deck three and immediately smelt something burning. She quickened her pace and eventually saw actual smoke filtering out of the medbay.

_Great, now my dress uniform is going to smell like smoke_ , Shepard thought unhappily.

* * *

 

Several crewmembers, armed with fire extinguishers and breathing apparatus, were already inside the medbay. They were clustered outside the sealed door to the AI Core, watching over by an agitated Dr Chawkas. _Normandy's_ doctor relaxed visibly when she saw the Commander striding in with a purposeful expression on her face.

"Shepard, thank goodness!" she exclaimed. "I could shoot the person that decided the medbay was an appropriate access point for an AI Core!"

"We'll get it sorted, Doc," Shepard promised through gritted teeth. She turned to the senior officer present - an experienced tech officer named Robson. "What have we got here, Lieutenant?"

"I'm picking up some strange readings behind that door, Commander. Not to mention EDI's not answering any hails...not even from Joker," Robson explained. "I'm not sure if you should go in there-"

"Is it safe to enter?" Shepard asked impatiently.

"Well, yes...but I wouldn't-"

Before Robson could finish his sentence, Shepard slapped her palm against the opening mechanism and the door to the AI Core opened. Although a thick cloud of smoke billowed forth and instantly flooded the medbay, Shepard felt no heat from any fire. She took several steps into the smoke and paused, looking around with an alert gaze. There was nothing that alarmed her, other than a few odd sounds coming from the far end of the room. Shepard cocked her head; the sounds reminded her of Miranda Lawson's stiletto heels clicking on the deck.

"EDI?" she ventured into the smoke. "Would you mind telling me what the fuck is going on?"

Further clicks, this time coming closer. Shepard held her ground, even as a figure began to emerge from the haze. The clicks were indeed from a pair of heels, Shepard's gaze travelled up an impossibly slender pair of legs, over too-perfect hips, breasts and finally to the angular face. Her lips did part slightly when she recognised the form standing in front of her. Dr Coré. Shepard realised that she had subconsciously reached for her weapon but her hand was grasping at air.

"I hardly think the situation calls for expletives, Commander." The figure's lips moved, but it was EDI's voice that emerged.

_What the_..."Ah, EDI...please tell me you're not in Dr Coré's body."

"Indeed I am," EDI replied. She stood in a seemingly relaxed pose and studied her own limbs. The AI was incredibly matter-of-fact about the whole procedure, seemingly unaware of the disruptions she had caused to the ship.

"It might have been helpful to inform me about your plans, EDI," Shepard pointed out in a low growl.

It was disconcerting to have an AI staring back at her, not to mention being in a body that had previously tried to kill her squadmates.

"I apologise, the transition was not as smooth as I had calculated. There were some...difficulties," EDI explained carefully. "I did however reason that this would be the most efficient way of ensuring that all of the information necessary to the completion of the Crucible is readily accessible."

"Point taken," Shepard agreed. "But your methods were somewhat unorthodox."

"Agreed," EDI continued. "If I might also point out another useful function of this platform, Shepard? I am now capable of operating outside the confines of the _Normandy_. I can accompany you on assignments where mobile tech support is needed."

"You can come with me? On missions?" Shepard asked in disbelief, surprised at EDI's level of ambition.

"Affirmative."

"Okay..." Shepard replied uncertainly. "Just don't be surprised if someone shoots you. You didn't exactly choose the galaxy's most popular android to inhabit."

"I was unaware that this was a popularity contest," EDI said, cocking her head to one side. "If you'll excuse me, Commander, I will take this new platform to show Joker. I think he will be most impressed."

"That he will," Shepard said to herself as EDI departed on her own two legs.

Shepard turned to follow, pausing only to sniff at the fabric of her dress uniform. As she had feared, the heavy material had soaked up a not-so-healthy smoky odour. However, Shepard had no option but to wear the uniform to her own popularity contest. She already knew that she would not be surprised if someone took a shot at her.

* * *

 

The armoury wasn't an area of the ship that Liara was overly familiar with. She barely knew or cared about the difference between a M-96 Mattock and a M-15 Vindicator. She almost smirked when that thought crossed her mind – no doubt Shepard the soldier would readily give her an hour-long lecture on the subject if she were to admit such a thing aloud. However any hint of a smile died long before it reached her lips. There wasn't much she felt like smiling about of late, especially not in relation to the _Normandy's_ Commander. Thinking about Shepard was more likely to make her want to hit something.

She found Lieutenant James Vega bent low over a weapons bench, a tiny scope cradled gently in his massive grip as he worked on it. Liara tried to cough politely, but her bruised torso gave her a sharp reminder that going one on one with a Brute had not been her finest moment. It was a reminder she did not appreciate and it was difficult to keep an annoyed scowl from her face. To make matters worse, being rescued by Shepard had turned out to be the ultimate humiliation.

"Excuse me?" she called out in a level voice, trying her best not to startle him. "Lieutenant?"

Vega suddenly jumped, his large hands appearing clumsy as he dropped the scope. He also whacked his head hard against an overhead lamp he'd lowered. Liara winced sympathetically as he turned around. His irritated expression softened when he saw the source of the interruption.

"Hey, doc," he began as he rubbed his head. "What can I do for you?"

Liara held up the damaged Carnifex. "Can you do anything with this?"

She handed the pistol over and stood by and he examined it. It only took a few moments for him to give his answer.

"Firing mechanism is shot," he announced."Probably easier just to hand over a new weapon, unless you've got a sentimental attachment to this one? I had a shotgun once, called it Doris. She served me well for two years until she misfired on me and I traded her in for a newer model - always wondered if I should have given her a second chance."

"That is...nice," Liara said for the sake of something to say. She really wasn't interested in Doris, just obtaining a new Carnifex as quickly as possible so she could get back to work. No doubt her feeds were jammed with useful information. It was something to do, something to take her mind off...everything. "So, a new Carnifex?"

"Have you thought about something that packs a little more punch?" Vega suggested, trying to be helpful. He turned to a weapons rack in his cubicle and ran his eye over the array of pistols, rifles and shotguns in front of him. He eventually grinned as he selected one. When he turned to face Liara, he held in his hands a relatively compact shotgun – but it was a shotgun nevertheless. "Meet the Eviscerator – nice and light for the ladies – errrr, sorry, not that you're a lady...but you know what I mean. You should definitely give it a whirl. Will take someone's head off just as effectively as a Carnifex...and a decent chunk of their chest as well."

Liara tentatively took the Eviscerator from Vega's grasp. It was indeed surprisingly light, but it was hardly something she could imagine herself carrying into combat.

"The vertical recoil on those babies is something you have to learn to compensate for though. Once you've got the knack, it's easy enough," explained Vega. "What d'ya think?"

Liara held the weapon out stiffly and shook her head. "I do not think it really...suits me, Lieutenant. I think a pistol would suffice. Thank you though."

Vega shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you're right, doc. Something you had to fire two handed probably doesn't sit well with all your-" he waved his hands about, trying to simulate the casting movements of a biotic "-fancy shit."

Vega deposited the unwanted Eviscerator back in the rack. He then found the pistol that Liara had originally requested.

"What kind of upgrades do you roll with? Let me guess, extended barrel?" Vega asked in a hopeful voice with his eyebrows raised in expectation.

"Armour-piercing mod and extended clip capacity," Liara replied promptly. She had been in enough fire-fights to know what kind of upgrades meant the difference between life and death. The Carnifex's low clip capacity made that particular upgrade vital.

"Yeah, those would have been my next guesses!" Vega replied in an almost wounded tone.

He immediately set to work installing the mods on her new Carnifex. As Liara found a clear space to sit atop a nearby crate to wait, Vega worked quickly and efficiently. However every minute or so he would cast a quick, odd glance in her direction. Although Liara had developed a decent understanding of human behaviour over the past few years, it wasn't a gesture that she recognised.

"Say, doc, do you mind if I asked you something?" Vega finally ventured. His voice was decidedly nervous.

"Not at all," Liara replied politely.

"Would you fancy having a drink with me during our next shore leave?" Vega suggested in a hurried voice. "I'm not sure if it's the sort of thing you like doing, but I'm quite partial to a drink...or something else-whatever floats your boat!"

_That is what that look was_ , Liara thought to herself as Vega waited patiently for her answer. He continued tinkering with the Carnifex, but in a half-hearted manner. _Human infatuation_.

Liara could count the number of romantic entanglements she'd had on one hand. There had been a handful of innocent, childish relationships with other young asari on Thessia - relationships consisting of cheeks flushed with embarrassment, nervous, imperfect kisses and uncertain fondling. Then Shepard had happened to her. The human woman had displayed none of the tentative uncertainty so evident in Vega's face. She had been direct and confident in her approach – almost to the point where she obviously thought the outcome was a foregone conclusion. Liara had supposed in hindsight that she ought to have been offended by the blatant seduction, however at no time did she feel as though Shepard had taken advantage of her. She had wanted every moment of the tumultuous, passionate relationship that followed. It was the brevity and heartbreaking ending that she had not wanted.

"Lieutenant..." Liara began in a quiet voice, uncertain of how to turn someone down appropriately – or even her reasons for doing it in the first place. For all intents and purposes, she was available. James Vega was a reasonably attractive example of a human male (although Liara did think his arms were unnaturally large). "I am truly sorry, but I am not really...interested in anything...not at the moment."

Vega nodded quickly, flashing a forced smile. "Yeah, of course, there's a war on and everything-"

_And I am still in love with Shepard_ , Liara though sadly.

"-I get it. Maybe if we're both still alive when we've kicked the Reapers out of our galaxy?" Vega continued.

Liara humoured him with a slight nod. "Perhaps."

Vega then held out her pistol. "All done. I hope it serves you well – but if you change your mind about that shotgun, just let me know alright?"

Liara nodded as she accepted the new pistol from the burly marine. The Carnifex felt like a brick in her hands, and she quickly slid it into the holster at her side.

"Thank you."

She made her exit from deck five a hasty one, not because she was uncomfortable in the wake of the Lieutenant's proposal, but because she desperately needed to occupy her mind with something weighty. Being constantly reminded that she was still in love with Shepard was a problem she did not need.

Liara tried to stifle a yawn as she waited for the elevator. Sleep was not an option – it would only bring dreams, which were even worse than waking thoughts because they were random and uncontrolled. The last time her eyes had closed shut on her pillow, she had been thrown into a whirlwind of fierce, almost violent sex with Shepard. Upon waking she had found herself only a few desperate strokes away from orgasm. She had felt both miserable and ashamed as she cried out Shepard's name when her body shuddered beneath her own touch.

No, sleep was definitely not an option. The only way she knew to solve the 'Shepard problem', was to work.

* * *

 

Even though she had dealt with EDI's transformation as quickly as possible, Shepard arrived in the midst of a heated debate in the conference room. While she had missed the build-up, the argument had reached the point where Victus was trying to talk Wrex out of his desire to throw the Salarian Dalatrass out of the nearest airlock. Shepard didn't know the exact reason for Wrex's threat, but she supposed it had something to do with Krogan loathing for Salarians in general. It was at that point that she realised she had forgotten to bring a weapon to the table.

"Shepard!" the Krogan leader's booming voice echoed around the small room. "It's about time you got here. Help me beat some sense into lizard-face here!"

"Lizard-face?" Dalatrass Linron muttered in horror. "Commander Shepard, I sincerely hope you are not going to let this summit continue in such a fashion? If so, I fear I have wasted my time in coming here."

"Good to see you too, Wrex. Dalatrass," Shepard kept her voice level as she spoke to the angry pair. The Turian Primarch was the only one who appeared unperturbed, his arms were folded across his chest patiently. "Primarch Victus. I apologise for being late, but I see you've started without me."

"Some of us have started without you," Victus said, looking pointedly at Wrex and Linron in turn.

Wrex waved his massive hand in a dismissive gesture. "Bah! We were just getting warmed up, weren't we, Dalatrass?"

"Stow it, Wrex!" Shepard realised she needed to get a firm reign on her three diplomats as soon as possible before the summit descended into chaos. "We're here to discuss a way our races can work together against the Reapers, not tear one another apart. If you want to do the Reapers work for them then by all means line up here so I can shoot you now!"

Her statement grabbed their attention. Each turned towards her, seemingly paying attention. However beneath their exteriors, Shepard could see that each individual was seething with anxiety and impatience. The Reaper invasion had everyone on edge. It was the Salarian Dalatrass who eventually broke the silence.

"I still don't understand how the Krogan are in a position to make any demands of such magnitude. Shepard, you can't possibly think that we would agree to such a thing!"

Shepard frowned, she had obviously missed some discussions that had already happened. She turned to Wrex. "What demands did you make?"

Wrex gave her a level stare before replying, "Just one - a cure for the genophage."

Linron's response was instantaneous. "Preposterous! There was a very good reason we developed the genophage. The Krogan cannot be allowed to run rampant through the galaxy. The consequences would be disastrous."

"More disastrous than the Reapers?" Shepard asked calmly. "Dalatrass, don't you think the Krogan have been punished long enough-"

"1476 years to be precise! Each and every one a year of pain for my people!" Wrex interjected.

"-surely they deserve the opportunity for a cure?" Shepard continued.

"Your species is far too young to understand, Commander. Thousands of years ago, we Salarians made the mistake of uplifting the Krogan. Instead we should have left them wallowing in their wasteland of a planet – a wasteland create by their own destructive nature. The genophage is the only restraint we have!"

"Dalatrass, agreeing is purely academic," Victus pleaded." A cure could take years to develop. Just say yes-"

"Not years," Wrex interrupted. "Much less than that. There was a Salarian scientist – name of Maelon - Shepard knows the story – he was conducting research into a cure."

"Yeah," Shepard replied in a growl. "It wasn't exactly what you'd call ethical research. He was killing Krogan."

"Call it what you will, but some of the females Maelon was experimenting on survived his treatments. Shepard, there are Krogan females out there who are immune to the genophage!"

"Well, where are they now?" Shepard asked.

Wrex turned his eyes towards the Dalatrass. "Ask the Salarian."

"I don't know how you uncovered this information, Wrex, but mark my words-"

She cut off her sentence when Wrex bared his teeth at her. Clearly Salarian threats did not hold any weight with a Krogan.

"So you don't deny it?" Wrex continued angrily.

Linron threw up her hands. "So an STG task retrieved them from Tuchanka, I don't see what use they will be...if I even tell you where they are."

Wrex placed both his hands on the table in front of him and gripped it as though he might tear it from its mounts. "I need those females! They are immune to the genophage and you're going to give them back!"

"Over my dead body!"

Wrex grinned. "That can easily be arranged."

The Turian Primarch finally slammed his powerful fist down on the table. It immediately silenced the other two diplomats, if only so they could unite in annoyance at being interrupted.

"I think you both fail to realise that what the four of us say in this room has very real consequences for the galaxy. Shepard knows this. I am no politician, but she convinced me that by becoming Primarch I could do more good than dying alongside my men in defence of my home. All battles, everywhere, will be lost without the politicians to make the decisions that count," Victus said in a firm, commanding tone. "If we don't find a resolution here, then I may just as well return to Menae, pick up a rifle and die in the dirt."

Dalatrass Linron appeared suitably abashed. "The females are at a secure STG facility on Sur'Kesh. However this will take time to arrange, there is paperwork!"

"No," Wrex interrupted. "We go now!"

"As a Council Spectre Shepard has the authority to oversee the exchange," Victus said helpfully.

Shepard kept quiet on the key fact that she had thrown the Council's offer of reinstatement back in their faces. She was more than willing to lie if it helped the war effort.

"I cannot condone this!" the Dalatrass protested, even as the other three began walking out of the room. "Commander, you are making a grave mistake. I can promise you now, the Salarians will not be there for Earth when you need us!"

"Keep talking to yourself, lizard breath!" Wrex called over his shoulder.

Shepard bit her lip as she considered the rather swift outcome of the summit. It was an unmistakable fact that the Krogan alone were responsible for driving their society into the dust of a nuclear winter. She had been to Tuchanka and seen the wasteland for herself. She had seen the violence the Krogan were capable of. Yet she had also slowly come to see that there were individuals amongst them who could eventually prove the rest of the galaxy wrong. Under Wrex's leadership, she felt a measure of confidence in their future direction – albeit a small measure.

Shepard was almost knocked to the deck when Wrex delivered a hearty slap to her back. The Krogan leader was grinning from ear to ear when she turned to face him.

"Let's go rescue some females!" he announced in an eager voice.

The thought crossed Shepard's mind that Wrex looked a little like an excited puppy – if there was ever a puppy that was unfortunate enough to look like a Krogan.

 


	12. Sins of the Past

**_Vancouver, Earth_ **

_While she had been a spacer all her life, Shepard accepted that it was good to feel the solidity of Earth beneath her feet once in a while, even if it was just the landing platform at Vancouver's space port. As she eagerly stepped down from the_ Normandy _and planted her boots on the tarmac, the first thing she noticed was a group of Alliance personnel approaching rapidly. It was to be expected, the_ Normandy _was still officially a Cerberus vessel, and her crew were all designated Cerberus operatives. Protocol dictated that they would all have to be detained and thoroughly debriefed before being allowed to rejoin the Alliance, or leave. Still, a small part of Shepard hoped for some recognition of what they had done. Not for herself, she had never been a glory seeker, but for her crew. Each had risked their lives to avert the Reaper invasion. As the Alliance group neared, Shepard recognised her old friend Anderson near the front, but most were officers she did not know._

" _So, any thoughts on what you'll do first?" Miranda asked._

_Walking at her side, the former Cerberus operative had donned civilian clothing. It was the same across the rest of the crew – all eager to ditch the trappings of that organisation. Most had only signed with Cerberus in the first place because of Shepard, and they were already discussing their return to duty with the Alliance._

" _Other than go find your asari and apologise profusely of course," Miranda added with a knowing smile._

" _I'm not running off to Liara straight away," Shepard said quietly. "You should know me better than that. Besides, Hackett warned me that there would be music to face over the Bahak mess. A thorough debriefing no doubt, possibly a strike on my permanent record."_

" _I do know you better than that!" she laughed. "And I know for a fact you can't go a month without sex."_

" _Hey, try two years!"_

" _You were dead," Miranda pointed out._

_Shepard grinned. However as she looked back towards Anderson she found her grin faltering. She couldn't remember a time when she had seen the Admiral's face so serious. Even his grim visage was nothing compared to the business-like movements of the other assembled personnel. No one appeared the slightest bit pleased to see Commander Shepard bringing another_ Normandy _home._

" _Anderson," Shepard said warmly as he came within speaking distance._

" _Shepard, I'm sorry, I tried to get them to wait."_

_Shepard frowned at Anderson in reply. However she watched as a stone-faced Alliance Colonel she didn't know shouldered past Anderson and interrupt any further conversation._

" _Commander Shepard, I am here to inform you that you are under arrest-"_

" _Under arrest?" Shepard bristled. She ignored the Colonel and turned back to face Anderson. "What the hell? Admiral?"_

_Rather than help her further, the Admiral held up his hands to indicate it was nothing to do with him. All he could offer was a sympathetic, but thoroughly useless, expression._

" _You are under arrest for suspected war crimes against the Batarian hegemony." The Colonel continued in a bland tone. "You are stripped of rank with immediate effect and confined to an Alliance detention facility."_

" _What the fuck!" another voice joined in._

_Behind them, Joker was stumbling down the ramp, trying to increase the pace of his shuffling gait. His incensed tone was shared by several other members of the crew. Shepard glanced over her shoulder. Although she was heartened by the support she was being shown, she knew it would not benefit her case to resist or incite some sort of mini-riot on the docks._

" _Stand down, Joker!" she growled, not wanting to see her fragile pilot rough handled in any way. "That goes for all of you!"_

_However Miranda had never been the sort of crewmember who instantly obeyed Shepard's commands. She shouldered her way into the Alliance personnel surrounded Shepard and jammed her finger into the chest of the Colonel who had made the initial arrest statement._

" _Commander Shepard is an Alliance hero, you half-witted little rat. You should be congratulating her, not arresting her!"_

" _Miss Lawson, I would stand down immediately," Anderson chimed in quickly, dragging Miranda away from the Colonel. "Or you could be facing arrest alongside Shepard."_

" _Anderson's right, Miranda," Shepard said quietly. "None of this is going to help. Thank you though."_

" _This is wrong, Shepard, and you know it," Miranda continued through gritted teeth._

_The ex-Cerberus Operative could barely contain her fierce anger. After a few more moments of staring down the Alliance Colonel, she spun on her heels and walked out of the crowd to keep herself from doing anything that would reflect badly on Shepard._

_The_ Normandy's _crew continued to mutter angrily as they watched their Commander hold out her hands in front of her in preparation for an unnecessary pair of hand cuffs._

" _We'll get this sorted, Shepard," Anderson promised._

" _I have every confidence in you, sir," Shepard replied._

_However, as she felt the cuffs close around her wrists, she felt a sinking feeling in her gut. This wasn't only for her immediate future as an Alliance officer, but something else that nagged at the back of her mind. Shepard found her gaze drifting skyward. She thought of Liara, and wondered when the hell she was going to have a chance to tell the asari how she felt._

* * *

 

**STG base, Sur'kesh**

Shepard absently wondered how many times she had stared out of the viewing portal of a shuttle, watching the surface details of a planet take shape beneath her. No doubt too many times to reliably count. Sur'Kesh was heavily forested, the STG base a stone edifice clinging to several hilltops. From this height Shepard thought it resembled ruins on Earth she remembered from a children's book. Exactly where they were, or which extinct civilisation had made them was lost to her, but the similarity triggered in her mind nevertheless. Beside her, Wrex was already clutching a Wraith shotgun in his oversized hands. Knowing his particular hatred for Salarians as well she did, Shepard suspected that he was preparing to dismount with all guns blazing. Shepard gave him a very pointed, cautionary look. Both the M-96 Mattock and the Phalanx pistol she carried as backup were securely holstered.

"Wrex," she growled. "These are friendlies."

"Bah! These are Salarians!" Wrex replied. "Only way to greet them properly is with the barrel of a shotgun!"

Shepard continued to glare at Wrex until he gave up and holstered his shotgun with a reluctant snort. He took to impatiently pacing the cabin of the shuttle instead. Unfortunately his bulk made the confines even more cramped, especially when sharing with a Turian and two humans. Shepard took a seat beside Vega and performed her customary examination of her weapons. The Phalanx was a heavy pistol she was unaccustomed to, but she had finally accepted that the Predator was about as useless as a wet rag in a fire fight. It's relatively fast rate of fire meant that the Phalanx had won out over the Carnifex. Shepard just couldn't bring herself to trust a weapon that gave her time to nap between bullets. Satisfied the pistol was in working order, she replaced it at her hip. She leant forward slightly so she could remove her assault rifle from its mount on her back.

"I would have gone with the armour-piercing mod myself," Vega pointed out from his seat on the bench beside her. "The Mattock punches straight through light cover with that little beauty enabled."

Shepard ejected her clip and waved it towards the marine. "Armour-piercing rounds."

"You letting this chump tell you what to do, Shepard?" Wrex was listening in on their conversation.

"Vega knows his weapons," Shepard backed up her arms master.

"Yeah well, I would've rather had someone else I can trust along for this one. I'm glad Garrus is here, but you could've brought Liara too. Never get tired of looking at that gorgeous face."

As Vega muttered something under his breath in reply, Shepard kept her own voice even and matter-of-fact. "Liara was knocked about pretty badly on Menae, she's off all missions for at least a couple of days, if not longer."

Shepard was yet to decide whether or not this was a good thing. On one hand, they needed some space in the wake of the tension between them boiling over. On the other, Shepard wanted the asari at her side. She told herself it was because she couldn't do without Liara's biotic talents, when in actual fact a part of her missed the sweet torture of having her around.

_You're a sucker for punishment_ , she thought. _Liara is far more likely to truss you up in a singularity than fight at your side at the moment._ Perhaps it was what she deserved, she already felt as though she was dangling helplessly in the air being slowly drained of life.

"Commander!" Cortez's urgent shout broke through her random thoughts.

Shepard stood and made her way to the cockpit. The shuttle was now hovering in the air above the landing pad, not making any attempt to set down. "What is it?"

"The Salarians are denying us permission to land," her pilot replied.

Behind her, Wrex overheard the conversation. He uttered a growl and the shotgun almost miraculously reappeared in his hands. "There is no way the lizard-faces are reneging on this deal. Not if I've got anything to say about it!"

Before Shepard could do anything to stop him, Wrex forced an emergency release on the door locking mechanisms. He then did exactly what she had feared he would and threw his massive bulk down to the landing pad below, Wraith at the ready. Shepard ran to the doorway and saw a small group of STG personnel rushing from a nearby building, their own weapons at the ready.

_Shit and balls_! "Garrus, Vega, on me!" Shepard yelled over the whirring of the shuttle's engines.

She then leapt from the craft in the hope that she would be fast enough to stop Wrex dishing out his own landing authorisation in the form of shotgun pellets. Her boots hit the ground just in time to add her voice to Wrex's angry shouts. However her own voice sounded frustratingly close to anger as she yelled at both Wrex and the Salarians to stand down. With the combined noise of the shuttle and the frayed tempers, she could feel the situation quickly slipping away out of her grasp. Finally there was a breakthrough in the form of a familiar figure emerging from a doorway ahead. Mordin Solus burst through the ranks of Salarian STG and stood directly in the path of Wrex's shotgun.

"Apologies, transfer only just came through. Rest of STG slow to react to order. Armed Krogan leaping from shuttle not best form of greeting, Shepard," Mordin's clipped voice was reassuring with its familiarity.

"Sorry about that, Mordin," Shepard said, reaching out tentatively to lower the barrel of the Wraith in Wrex's hands. The Krogan grunted but let it drop. "It's great to see you. I take it you know why we're here?"

"Of course, come to collect Krogan female," Mordin replied.

"Female?" Wrex growled.

"Yes, only one female has survived, rest perished due to weakened immune systems, lasting effects of Maelon's work. Follow me, Shepard, Krogan must stay here however."

Although Wrex was not the slightest bit pleased about Mordin's order, he nevertheless agreed. The STG team stood down and allowed the odd group to pass through their midst with Mordin leading the way. Each Salarian watched the Krogan with a wary eye. He made a sudden abrupt move forward, accompanied by a mock war cry and several almost leapt out of their skins. With a glare warning Wrex to behave in her absence, Shepard followed Mordin. When they were a safe enough distance away, Mordin leaned in close to Shepard.

"About time you came, transfer long overdue, expected Krogan to demand female's release earlier."

Shepard raised her eyebrows. "You were the one feeding the information to the Krogan?"

Mordin nodded succinctly. "Yes, had change of conscience regarding genophage. Female is best hope for Krogan. Follow me, I will introduce you."

Mordin led them to their destination on the lower levels of the STG base. Behind glass, the female Krogan was encased in a sterile pod. Shepard immediately felt sorry for her, caged like an animal and separated from her people. Without waiting for directions, she approached the glass and lifted her hand. She could the female regarding her through wary eyes. For all she had been through, her gaze remained alert and strong.

"My name is Commander Shepard of the Alliance vessel _Normandy_ ," she said in a clear voice. "I have come to escort you back to your people."

The Krogan was silent for almost a minute. When she eventually replied her voice betrayed no emotion. "And what is in this for you, Shepard of the _Normandy_?"

"You are the last and best hope for the Krogan people. I want to oversee the exchange, make sure you return home safely," Shepard replied. There was no sense in going into the details surrounding the war effort. The only thing that mattered was this individual and what she meant to her people. "You can trust me to do this."

"We will see, Commander. We will see," she replied.

"Krogan female has suffered much, slow to trust, Shepard," Mordin explained. "Need to move pod into quarantine elevator to get to landing pad. Will meet you there."

Shepard replied with a curt nod. While Mordin oversaw the loading of the pod into the elevator, she, Garrus and Vega made their way to the landing pad on the roof. While Shepard had no reason to suspect that anything was about to go wrong, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle in warning. Her watchful gaze scanned their surroundings. As they walked, the Salarians around them threw the group odd looks, but continued in their duties.

They were tracking the progress of the elevator upwards when, for some reason, Shepard found herself pausing on a terraced balcony that overlooked the lush greenery below. The view was stunning, but it wasn't enough to hold her attention. She glanced back over her shoulder. From within the glass confines of the elevator, Mordin gave a quick wave as though he thought she needed confirmation that everything was fine. Shepard's fingers twitched as she felt the desire to hold a weapon. Garrus and Vega continued onwards, pausing only when they reached a set of stairs to find their Commander was not with them.

"Shepard?" Garrus called back.

Something told her that everything was not fine. It wasn't much to go on, just an odd smell in the air and the distant sounds of shuttle craft. Neither clue hinted at approaching trouble, at least not without further evidence. However Shepard's instincts had already kicked in. When she heard the whine of an incoming missile, a warning was on her lips only a split second later.

"Hit the deck!"

Her body was thrown downwards with a combination of her own momentum and the projectile that tore into the structure. Shepard slid forward and her back slammed hard into a planter box. Above her, chunks of masonry tore free and crumbled downwards. Several smashed around her, all missing and showering her only with a thick layer of dust. She gasped instinctively and her lungs drew in a gulp of the stuff. It coated the inside of her mouth and felt like glass sliding down her throat. A few hacking coughs cleared the worst of it and she dragged herself into a sitting position.

"What the fuck?" Shepard said dumbly as she picked herself up from the debris. Only a few metres away, a Salarian was lying motionless, his huge eyes staring lifelessly towards her.

"It's fucking Cerberus!" Vega's urgent shout drew her gaze away from the dead Salarian and instead to the elevator holding its precious cargo. Mordin was picking himself up from the floor while the Krogan female appeared unharmed in her pod. They were dangerously exposed however, and Shepard instantly knew that, for whatever reason, Cerberus was targeting the precious female.

Shepard's fingers were momentarily uncooperative as they fumbled for the rifle on her back. Her accompanying movements were sluggish in general as she scrambled towards the elevator with bullets now starting to whizz around her.

"Mordin, get to the top, we'll cover you!"

"Must maintain pod integrity, Shepard," Mordin replied over the comm. "Cannot sustain damage for long."

"You won't, I promise," Shepard replied.

Her head cleared as the initial shock quickly subsided. Shepard took stock of the situation. Garrus and Vega were already shooting at targets, trying to keep Cerberus away from the pod. As Mordin quickly keyed in the commands to keep the elevator moving upwards, Shepard gave him a sharp nod and ran to join her squadmates.

"We've got to get our arses to that landing pad!" she called out to Garrus as she slammed into cover beside him. "It needs to be secure before we can get the female the hell out of here!"

"Agreed," Garrus replied, the Mantis barking powerfully in his hands. He was already reloading with a smooth motion.

A quick hand signal sent Vega running towards the stairs, covering their approach. Shepard followed, mowing down two oncoming troopers with several shots from her semi-automatic rifle. The bullets slammed into the men, just as several more dropped down from above on static lines. Her hand went to the webbing belt at her hip and felt for the frag grenade there. She tossed it into their midst. A dull thud followed a second later as it went off, sending its deadly contents tearing through armour and into flesh. Garrus covered their rear as they reached the stairs. Shepard heard his sniper rifle firing in quick succession three more times before he joined them.

"We move fast, people!" Shepard ordered her squad. "If I see you stopping to so much as scratch your balls I will drop a concussive shot onto your arse!"

Her heart hammered in her chest as she sprinted, pausing only momentarily to send another frag grenade and half a clip from her Mattock in the direction of an oncoming Cerberus squad. The Centurion in the lead dropped almost instantly and the rest scattered beneath the withering fire. As the smoke cleared, two more shapes emerged. Heavily armoured troopers, crouching behind reinforced steel shields advanced slowly. Vega reacted quickly, emptying his Mattock at the closet. The armour-piercing rounds tore through the shield, their effectiveness was lessened but they did they brought the trooper down. As Vega changed his clip, Shepard let off a concussive shot. The powerful ammunition slammed into the second Guardian's shield and knocked the trooper off balance. With his guard down, she fired off two shots. The first missed, hitting his chest, but the second drilled straight through his forehead.

A part of her expected to only see a burnt-out shell of the elevator when they reached the roof. However it was there, Mordin once again waving as though he was on a Sunday jaunt as opposed to the midst of a fire fight. Several more hand signals in quick succession sent Garrus and Vega into positions on either side of the elevator. They could cover the Salarian scientist and his precious cargo from attack on almost all sides – except above.

"Shepard! Eyes up"

In the midst of the noise and confusion, it took a shout from Garrus to draw Shepard's attention skywards. She saw only a huge pair of metal feet in the moments before the Cerberus Atlas slammed down in the midst of the rooftop courtyard. The shock reverberated across the surface, shaking Shepard's seemingly solid footing and knocking her off balance. As she scrambled backwards, the tank-like mech set down between her and the elevator. With cruel precision, its arm drilled downwards directly towards her. Shepard was forced to throw herself to one side or be crushed beneath its claw. The arm instead slammed into the roof beneath her, opening up a crack. As the mech stepped backwards, the tiles gave way beneath Shepard and she went crashing downwards through the roof.

Her shields flickered desperately as she hit the pile of debris beneath her. They died altogether as a falling chunk of masonry caught her a glancing blow as it fell. Only a desperate roll saved her from a following piece taking off her head. Above her, the second of continuous shooting raged. In her fuzz, she could not distinguish between weapons except to hear the Atlas' mini-gun erupt at intervals. The unmistakeable sound of two missiles in quick succession then followed. Shepard fervently hoped the fragile elevator could withstand a few hits. The Mattock she had been holding was nowhere to be seen, no doubt buried somewhere beneath the rubble. Shepard fumbled for the Phalanx at her side, but before her fingers closed around it a dark shape loomed up out of the smoke in front of her. For a moment Shepard thought she'd been transplanted back to another time, another place – the Shadow Broker's ship.

The yahg in front of her however was not the Shadow Broker. It was wild and untamed, but just as furious. Before Shepard could react, a claw darted out and caught her across an unshielded gauntlet. Metal tore like butter as the claws drove close to her skin. She rolled and drew her pistol in one movement. Before Shepard was even fully back on her feet, she was firing in the yahg's direction. The creature roared in pain, but the bullets barely appeared to penetrate its thick hide. _Should have gone for armour piercing_ , Shepard reflected. While it circled around her, Shepard studied the space in which she found herself, seeking any help she could from her environment. Unfortunately there was little to be had. She'd fallen into a corridor with the creature squarely between herself and the stairs ahead.

"Nice Shadow Broker," Shepard whispered to herself, clutching the Phalanx in a white-knuckled grip.

The yahg responded with an angry snarl. Its beady eyes focused on her as it advanced. Shepard finally caught sight of a pipe to its right. Without thinking further, she lifted her pistol and fired two shots into it. The first cracked the casing and sent gas hissing out, the second ignited the gas. The resulting explosion erupted outwards, engulfing the unprotected yahg and slamming Shepard hard up against the wall behind her.

Burnt and bleeding, the wounded yahg took a long, hard look at its prey. As Shepard remained motionless beneath its scrutiny, she saw a noticeable shift in its stance. The pain translated into a hesitance and, eventually, several steps backwards. All it took was Shepard to step forward and level her pistol towards it. As though deciding that freedom was a more worthwhile pursuit, it threw itself over the balcony with a departing roar of pain.

With the flames from the exposed gas leak dying down, Shepard was able to reach the stairs and return to the roof. She felt somewhat naked returning to the battle with no shields and armed only with a pistol, but upon reaching the scene, both these factors were made redundant. The battle had finished without her help. The Atlas was still standing in the midst of the terrace, but instead of pumping out missiles and trying to skewer foes with its arm, it was a blackened, smoking husk. Most of its upper torso was missing, gouged out by some of its own medicine – probably a Cobra missile launcher. Her assumptions were confirmed a few moments later when she saw Wrex, the launcher carried jauntily in one hand. When he saw Shepard, the Krogan leader raised it towards her in greeting.

"Shepard! What the fuck were you doing while I was single-handedly saving the day?"

"Petting the zoo animals," Shepard replied, holding up her arm to show him her battle scars. "How's our new addition?"

"I'm fine," another voice chimed in. The Krogan female walked towards them both, released from her pod. "Thanks to you, Commander Shepard."

"Hey!" Wrex protested. "Shepard was nowhere to be seen when I brought that mech down. I'm the one that you should be thanking."

"Shut up, Wrex," the feisty female replied, tossing her fellow Krogan a contemptuous stare. "No are you going to help me into the shuttle or are you further going to ruin my opinion of you?"

Wrex muttered several things under his breath, but Shepard watched how quickly he went to assist his new companion into the waiting shuttle. She turned and saw the rest of her squad approaching, Mordin included.

"Sorry we couldn't get to you, Commander," Vega apologised with a grin. "We sort of had our hands full up here. Looks like you had fun though?"

"Yeah," Shepard growled sarcastically. "Yahg are really just seriously misunderstood. Fun my arse – get out of my sight you mother fucking arsehole, before I tear you a new one."

Less than half an hour later, with the Krogan female safely aboard the _Normandy_ and installed in a sterile environment, Shepard could almost forget the difficulty they had in extracting her from the all-encompassing grasp of Cerberus. While the Illusive Man's exact goal was unknown, Shepard knew the bastard well enough to know that there was a strategic reason behind his strike. Following Cerberus's appearance at the Mars facility and their desperate attempt to seize the Prothean data, Shepard had begun to suspect that his ultimate goal was to divide the races. This would effectively curb resistance to the Reapers and aid in their eventual victory. Exactly why the Illusive Man would want the Reapers to win was unclear to Shepard. She had long since realised that he was an unstable megalomaniac, but this strategy was completely at odds with Cerberus's agenda of human superiority.

Concerns about Cerberus were pushed aside for the time being. The _Normandy's_ immediate focus was on the Krogan. Even though Shepard was more concerned with securing Krogan support for the war effort, the significance of what Mordin was about to do was not lost on her. If successful, her actions would be instrumental in bringing about a cure for the genophage – a disease that had run rampant for well over a millennia. It was a daunting realisation and a role Shepard had never envisioned herself playing. So much was riding on the Salarian who now walked at her side.

"Need time to perfect a cure from Eve, Shepard," Mordin said as she led him towards the _Normandy's_ new tech labs, his clipped voice working even faster than normal in his haste.

"Eve? That seems appropriate," Shepard commented. While she had never been one to pay attention to religious stories from any race, it was one of the most recognisable from the old Earth bible. "I'll leave you to it. Thank you, Mordin, without your efforts we wouldn't even have a shot at getting the Krogan on side. Humanity is once again in your debt."

"Praise unnecessary, would have done it anyway," Mordin shrugged. "Will let you know when cure is ready."

A reply was also unnecessary; Mordin had already turned his back on Shepard and was hurrying away in the direction of the tech labs. Shepard was left standing alone. Her arm throbbed with a dull ache. Instinctively, she glanced down and studied the deep slashes in her gauntlet made by the angry yahg on Sur'Kesh. Shepard sighed as it offered her a reminder of something she had been avoiding since returning from Menae. She had an apology to make, no doubt a task that would be just as difficult as rescuing Eve and the potential for dismemberment even greater.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

With Mordin cloistered in one of the tech labs working on the cure for the genophage, Shepard ordered the _Normandy_ back to the Citadel for a brief respite for the crew and resupply for the ship. There were countless assignments throughout the galaxy to which she could divert their efforts, but she knew that she was on the verge of coming apart. Even twelve hours would mean a world of difference - the chance to get more than four hours sleep in a row and visit Ash at Huerta Memorial. A part of Shepard tried to say that this was a selfish weakness on her part, but she stubbornly pushed that thought aside. As much as she did not like to admit it, a large part of the Normandy's effectiveness depended on her Commander. With Shepard taking steps to rectify her physical exhaustion, she also made a tentative one towards mending the 'asari factor.' This had nothing to do with making another attempt at swaying the asari Councillor, but rather someone else who was just as important to Shepard's own war effort.

Showered and changed into a crisp uniform, Shepard paused momentarily outside the door to Liara's office. The fact that it had once been Miranda's office was an irony she didn't need to consider at that point in time. Her relationship with the XO had been a relief she needed at that stage in her life, but that was the past, and she desperately hoped that this was her future. She drew in a breath and knocked in the old-fashioned manner.

"Who is it?" a soft voice sounded over the comm.

Liara's response came almost immediately, but Shepard knew her well enough to detect a slight impatience in her voice. No doubt she had been buried in her information feeds, probing for new insights that could assist the Normandy and the wider war effort.

"It's Shepard."

That was all she needed to say – simple and effective. Liara would either let her in, or tell her to fuck off. As it eventuated, Liara knew the precise amount of time to leave her waiting - long enough to cause sweaty palms, but not to drive her to storm away from the door. Almost a minute passed before the door opened. Shepard paused on the threshold before stepping inside. Liara was standing in front of her information feeds concentrating on one in particular. It was easily recognisable as a map of the Athena Nebula where Thessia, the asari homeworld, was located. As Shepard edged closer, she saw that the Reapers course across the galaxy had almost brought them to the asari doorstep.

"They are fools," Liara offered in a monotone. "They blindly look to the defence of their own borders whilst ignoring the rest of the galaxy. All their preparation will count for nothing because the asari military lacks any real defensive capability. They need allies if they are to protect our home."

Shepard was genuinely saddened by Liara's words and knew firsthand that asari stubbornness kept them from seeing the real point of her argument. It was only as part of a joint galactic task force that the races could hope to even hold off the Reapers long enough for the Crucible to be completed.

"We'll find a way to get the asari on side. With Krogan and Turian forces on Thessia, the line will hold," Shepard said in a fierce voice. "I promise."

Silence was her only response before Liara commenced a flurry of rapid typing on her console. Shepard was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Despite this, she did not allow herself the option of walking out – not this time. Instead she folded her arms across her chest and found a space amidst all the consoles and vid-screens to lean. She was pleased to see that Liara appeared to be moving freely despite the injuries received on Menae.

Liara sighed impatiently when it became clear that Shepard was not leaving. "Are you here for something else other than to offer hollow consolations?"

Shepard ignored the barb. "Just checking up on my crewmember. How are you, Liara?"

"You should be able to answer that question yourself seeing as you are so adept at diagnosing battlefield trauma," was the cold reply.

_How can I break through that level of hostility?_ Shepard thought. The comments were so un-like the Liara that she knew, that it was impossible to come up with a response that wouldn't lead to a further deterioration of their friendship. Liara had never been prone to anger quickly, her temper was almost non-existent. It saddened Shepard to wonder whether it was her own volatile nature that was rubbing off on the asari. _How many times did I unnecessarily lose my temper?_

"That's not fair-" Shepard began in a level tone.

"No, it is not!"

Shepard was suddenly cut off and faced with a pair of fiercely burning blue eyes levelled in her direction. Liara finally turned her back on the information feeds and devoted her full attention to her visitor. The head wound Liara had sustained on Menae was already no more than a raw, ragged line across her beautiful forehead.

"Nothing is fair," Liara continued, punctuating her words with a stern finger in Shepard's direction. "It is not fair that my lover turned her back on me because she could not face the thought that the relationship might develop into something more than casual sex. Or that she is not adult enough to have a conversation about it without falling back on excuses. Nor is it fair that the Reapers have invaded the galaxy and are in the process of destroying your home and eventually mine so as to make all other concerns seem petty in comparison. It is not fair that our lives are finite...regardless of our intended lifespan."

Pausing to take a breath, Liara once again turned her back on Shepard. However she did not return to her console, instead she lowered her head and closed her eyes in an effort to shut all of it out. Behind her, with just the slight shuffling of her feet, she heard Shepard shift her weight uncomfortably. A part of her was waiting for the Commander to run once again rather than face her accusations. Yet she desperately wanted her to stay. The friction between them could not continue without tearing them both apart.

"I'm here now," was the quiet, simple reply as Shepard maintained her veneer of calm. Beneath it however, she bristled at Liara's insinuations that the bad blood between them was entirely her fault.

Liara picked up on the restraint in Shepard's voice. When it counted, the soldier was undeniably stunted with her conversation. She liked to think of herself as woman of action as opposed to words. Liara often felt this restraint, as well as her lack of affection, was deliberate as opposed to the result of any introversion on Shepard's part. She could express herself when it suited her. However Liara had to admit to herself that displaying such hostility on her part wasn't conducive to a decent conversation. Both here, and on Menae, she had behaved poorly. Yet as she opened her eyes and turned to face Shepard down once more, she found herself believing that it was nothing the Commander didn't deserve.

"I'm listening," Shepard continued to fill the silence.

Liara exhaled impatiently. "I do not want you to listen to what I have to say. I want you to talk to me...like you could obviously talk to Miranda Lawson."

"You did see us on the Presidium," Shepard said quietly, even though a part of her had known all along. "I thought..."

"What? That you were discreet? Please, if you were brazen enough to meet in a public place you should be able to deal with the consequences of being seen."

"Liara, it was a meeting between..." Shepard paused and swallowed. "...friends, Miranda and I-"

"Please do not lie to me," Liara interrupted quietly.

Shepard ran a hand through her hair, tucking it behind her ear and out of her eyes. "What happened between Miranda and I lasted only the weeks before I went through the Omega-4 relay. You and I were over...it was just sex..."

As Shepard's voice trailed off, Liara felt her vision closing in on her. At the same time, her legs felt weak. She sank down into a nearby chair and stared blankly ahead at the bulkhead in front of her. For some reason, she felt like crying. The admission felt like a stab in the gut, even though she knew she had no right to feel that way.

"Goddess...there was really something between you," she said in a breathless whisper.

"You didn't know?" Shepard asked incredulously, realising that Liara had just drawn the truth out of her. "I thought...from the way you said...Liara, I thought you already knew! You're the fucking Shadow Broker..."

"You think I would use my resources to pry into your personal life?" Liara asked incredulously.

"Well...yes, but that's not the point..." Shepard stopped herself short and stared at the devastated expression on Liara's face. She felt as though she had just admitted to being unfaithful, even though she had been well within her rights to fuck Miranda. Hell, why was Liara even caring? It had been sex between two, single adults. _Fuck, I haven't done anything wrong,_ Shepard thought with a sick feeling. _Does she expect me to remain celibate for the rest of my life?_

"I don't know what to say. What you saw on the Presidium _was_ a meeting between friends. I care about Miranda, but she and I no longer involved beyond that. She was there for me at a difficult time."

"And she is not here for you now?" Liara pointed out unhelpfully. "Were you just done with her?"

"Miranda knew exactly what she was getting into. She used me just as I used her!" Shepard fired back. The calm vanished abruptly. It felt as though her scars were on fire with her anger. "What do you want me to say to you? Do you want me to apologise for having sex with someone? To feel guilty for fucking someone else and enjoying it? I'm not like you, Liara. I'm completely at ease with satisfying my sexual needs and I'm not ashamed of it."

Liara found the strength to rise from her chair. She paced away from Shepard, towards the living area of her quarters. "And you think I am?" she asked, still unable to face Shepard.

"Yes!" Shepard almost yelled in exasperation.

She drew in a breath and tried to reign herself in. However all she could hear was her heart thumping in her chest. It annoyed her that Liara couldn't look at her face and admit that she was right. She was also angry at herself for letting the conversation once again descend into accusations, regardless of how much truth they contained. The asari simply stood by her bed, head once again bowed in contemplation – no doubt wishing that she could be alone.

"You are a complete arse, Shepard," Liara said suddenly.

"Tell me something I don't know," Shepard shot back.

"Fine, you are a childish, emotionally stunted arse who believes that just because someone does not throw themselves at every available sexual partner that they are ashamed of who they are," was her equally biting reply. "I do not use sex to justify my existence; I use it to express my love."

Liara's tone softened towards the end of her outburst as she watched the expression on Shepard's face change. The detached hostility drained away to be replaced by a look that hovered between devastation and guilt. As the silence descended over both of them, she studied the Commander sympathetically. While she was the one carrying the physical wounds, Shepard carried wounds of her own. It was a fact that Shepard would never admit to possessing any sort of beauty, but Liara's breath was taken away each time she saw her. It subsequently became easy for that intense passion to transform into anger, especially when she could not have what she wanted.

It was saddening to see the dark circles that ringed Shepard's eyes, the hollowness of her cheeks and the scars further encroaching across her skin as her body rejected the Cerberus implants. With deliberate steps, Liara retraced her path across the floor until she was once again standing next to Shepard. This time however, she closed the distance between them to the point where she could search Shepard's eyes. The vibrant blue that she loved was slowly being consumed by bright orange light. As Shepard stared back, she felt her gaze burn with unspoken pain.

_My poor, tortured Evan_ , she thought tenderly. The words did not cross her lips, but they did translate into action. With a slow, deliberate movement, Liara lifted her hand to Shepard's cheek. She laid it over the scars there and brushed her thumb across a patch of smooth skin.

"I do not care that you slept with Miranda Lawson," Liara eventually admitted – she let her hand fall gently. "Or anyone else for that matter...perhaps a certain young Communications Specialist-"

_How the fuck does she know about, Traynor?_ Shepard asked herself as Liara spoke. _I didn't even know about her! All I did was look at her arse...once!_

"-who cannot stop staring at you. Shepard, you should be free to pursue whomever you want free of all this futile anger. I think you should be able to move on." Liara swallowed as she continued. _It is my fault she cannot move on, but is it fair of me to admit this to her?_ "Just because I cannot..." Liara found herself needing to swallow again and found a lump in her throat. Tears would no doubt follow. She suddenly felt the need to take a step backwards. "I...t-think I need to be alone. Thank you for taking the time to stop by."

Shepard nodded uncertainly. She turned away almost immediately to give Liara her space. However she had briefly seen the play of emotions across Liara's face and knew it had been difficult for her to express that simple sentiment. A part of Shepard wanted to stay, she wanted to grin stupidly with the potential of that admission, but knew better than to rush the healing process. The only thing she could do was make one last parting statement of her own as she walked out of Liara's quarters.

"I don't want to," Shepard said over her shoulder.

"You don't want to what?" Liara asked quietly, her voice already hoarse with emotion.

"Move on." Shepard slapped her palm against the door and waited for it to open. As she stepped out she turned to look over her shoulder. "I've never stopped loving you, Liara."

 


	13. The Other Mother

**Citadel, Widow**

The manner in which Shepard hesitantly but determinedly walked into Huerta Memorial Hospital was a testament to the strength of her friendship with Ashley Williams. Although the Citadel still remained mercifully distant from the war, nothing could disguise the pungent odour associated with medical treatment. It was a smell Shepard loathed.

After a quick enquiry at the desk, she found the Lieutenant-Commander awake and alert in her bed. An open copy of the collected works of Tennyson was sprawled across her lap, but her gaze was directed to the serene view from her window. A moment passed between Shepard entering and Ashley turning to look at her. Shortly after the wounded marine turned her head, her eyebrows lifted in surprise instead of greeting.

"Holy crap, Shepard," Ashley exclaimed in a hoarse voice. "You look like you should be in this bed instead of me. If I was the sort of person to indulge in profanity, then I would say you look like shit."

"I came to see if you wanted to join me for a drink, Williams, but on second thought I might rescind that offer," Shepard replied, feeling slightly affronted. She resisted the urge to find a mirrored surface to examine her reflection. Did she really look that bad? However, regardless of what Williams said, she was still the one lying in the hospital bed recovering from a near fatal wound. Shepard tried to keep her tone light. "Especially if you continue to say whatever the fuck you like to a superior officer."

Ashley chuckled. "Save it for the FNGs, Skipper. I've known for a long time that your bark is worse than your bite."

Shepard took up a perch on the edge of Ashley's bed. She looked back over her shoulder at her wounded friend. "Besides, when the fuck did you give up on profanity? You're a marine, profanity is all we have. Well, that and alcohol...and meaningless sex with strangers."

Another even heartier laugh followed. However Ashley immediately winced in pain and tried to cut it short. "Stop making me laugh, hurts like hell."

"Sorry, LC, I guess you're not quite up for that drink yet?"

Ashley shook her head regretfully. "Not yet. I'm still about as useful as a Batarian on a quiz team."

Shepard found it difficult to retain her mirthful mood. Ashley was the first of her crew to be injured in this war, Shepard knew with a certainty that she wouldn't be the last. Good people would die, that much was inevitable. Just how many was dependent on her leadership. At the moment, she felt as though she was hovering only moments from disaster – a mistake that would cost her the lives of friends and crewmembers. She had seen it in their eyes - especially those of the younger ones. They were serving under the Commander Shepard who had defeated Saren, the woman who had faced down Reapers without a qualm – surely she would be able to guide them safely through the war? Shepard often asked herself how the hell she was supposed to do this. She was just one soldier.

"Between the news outlets and Dr Michel I'm getting fed a ton of information about the war, but it all seems pointless without hearing how it actually feels in the trenches. Is it really as bad as your expression says it is?" Any trace of humour was also gone from Ashley's voice.

"I feel as though I'm not even fighting the Reapers. My only fight has been to unite the races," Shepard replied. "However from talking to Anderson and Hackett it looks pretty rough. Without more support, I don't think we're going to be able to hold out long enough to finish the Crucible."

"That bad huh?"

"We're giving it all we've got, Ash." Shepard tried to inject a little more optimism in her voice, but it came out sounding flat.

"You're giving it too much," was Ashley's reply. "What good is winning if you kill yourself in the process?"

"It's still victory," Shepard replied stalwartly.

Shepard's hand was resting on the bed at Ashley's side. It required only a small effort for Ashley to reach out and cover it with her own hand. At the first touch, she felt Shepard tense slightly. However she did not draw her hand away, instead her fingers began to curl. Imperceptibly at first, but eventually she clutched Ashley's fingers in a firm grip. Although the gesture was small, after a few moments Ashley saw Shepard's shoulders square slightly. The Commander then drew in a shallow but audible breath, as though in preparation. When she turned to look at Ashley again, there was something besides fatigue in her gaze.

"I think I might have another chance with Liara," Shepard admitted quietly. "But I'm terrified I'll fuck things up all over again...or this war will fuck it up for me."

Ashley was momentarily struck silent by the admission. The Shepard she knew would never have willingly shared such an element of her personal life. Yet here she was – talking about her love life as though they were two friends in a college dorm.

"You'll screw things up even worse if you don't try, Shepard," she eventually said. "Just don't be an ass about it, okay?"

"That's your professional advice?"

Ashley shrugged slightly. "You're talking to a girl who can't remember the last time she went on a half-decent date. Take it how you will."

"Thanks, Ash. I guess I should leave you to get some rest?" Shepard released her grip on Ashley's hand and eased herself off the bed. She was still aching slightly from her fall on Sur'Kesh. "I'm pleased you're doing so well."

Shepard had only managed a few steps towards the door when Ashley called out. "Skipper?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for the things I said on Mars...you know, before that Cerberus bitch tried to make me less alive. Seeing you, hearing you talk, I don't know how I ever thought you were still in Cerberus' pockets. You're still every inch of the soldier that saved my life on Eden Prime."

"Don't mention it. There's a place for you on my crew when you're back to full fitness."

"There's no one else I would rather serve under...ma'am."

Shepard's lips finally curled upwards as she gave Ashley a parting smile. With that small gesture, Shepard gratefully made her way out of Huerta Memorial. Her first thought was to return to the _Normandy_ and gratefully sink into her bed. However, in the wake of Ashley's brief encouragement, she thought she would risk a brief visit to Presidium Commons.

* * *

 

Shepard felt a pang of disappointment when she found Liara's favourite spot at Apollo's café occupied by a miserable looking Batarian slumped over his drink. The doctor herself was nowhere in sight. She contemplated leaving, but something willed her to continue forward. Whatever made her walk up and take a seat at the bar, it certainly wasn't the prospect of talking to the stone-faced asari bartender. When the Matriarch turned from serving a customer and saw Shepard sitting in front of her, she immediately scowled.

"You want the usual?" she asked in her deep, unwelcoming voice.

Shepard shook her head. Krogan brandy was the last thing she wanted. "No, just tea...thanks."

The Matriarch slapped a cup in front of her and half-heartedly poured some tea in the general direction of the cup. It was lukewarm when Shepard tried a sip, but she drained half the cup out of habit. As Shepard sat drinking, the other customer at the bar moved away and left her alone. Now the asari had nothing to do except stare at her, as though hoping she would choke on her tea and die a slow death.

"Have I done something to piss you off?" Shepard eventually asked with a sigh. "Personally I mean? Not just all the shit you hear about me on the news."

The Matriarch let out an annoyed snort, as though she was offended that her opinion had been overly noticeable. She folded her arms across her chest and regarded Shepard as though she was a bad smell at the end of her nose. Almost a minute passed and her expression did not waver, nor did she make any attempt to speak. Shepard gulped down the rest of her tea and pushed back her chair. She had better things to do than sit beneath that withering stare.

"Commander Shepard."

She'd only walked a few short steps when the Matriarch finally spoke. Although Shepard was of a mind to keep walking, she stopped and turned. She was surprised to notice that the asari's face had softened slightly.

"She said I should give you a chance."

"Who?" Shepard frowned.

The Matriarch snorted again. "Who d'ya think? Liara T'Soni."

"Liara?" Shepard asked with a frown. "How the hell do you...look, I don't know where the hell you fit into anything but you can drop the hostility-"

The Matriarch interrupted her before she could continue. "You'd be hostile too if your daughter was wasting the best years of her life on a self-destructive human."

Shepard's jaw dropped. "Daughter? You're Liara's...other mother?"

"By the Goddess I hope Liara doesn't breed with you!" the asari said, rolling her eyes. "I didn't carry her so that makes me the father."

Shepard had never been the girl that was brought home to 'meet the parents.' It had never bothered her for the simple fact that she didn't actually want to meet anyone's parents in some sort of awkward introduction. In formal situations people were prone to trying too hard to the point where they were no longer themselves. Still, as she faced down Liara's father, she thought that mutual dislike was probably as good a starting point as any.

"I'm sorry...sir...ma'am..."

She sighed. _Fuck it,_ she thought. _I'm going to have an aneurysm if I try any harder._ Keeping her actions as nonchalant as possible, she walked back to the bar. Instead of taking a seat, she leant against it and looked the Matriarch in the eye.

"Does Liara know you're her father?"

"Of course she does. Kid isn't as dense as you that's for sure," the asari replied.

"Then how...I mean, I thought Liara didn't know who her father was yet here you are, tending a bar of all things."

"You might as well have the full story – even though it's supposed to be top secret and all that. See, I was tasked with keeping an eye on her by the asari government. Well, after the shit that went down with Benezia going crazy and supporting Saren, there were doubts about Liara-"

"Liara is nothing like her mother!" Shepard interrupted hotly.

The Matriarch's reply was just as heated. "You think you're more qualified to make that judgement, human? I spent over a century with Nezzy-" She caught herself as she slipped into using a diminutive. For a brief moment her fierce expression slipped before she righted it. "With Benezia…and Liara is more like her than you'll ever know."

Shepard bit her lip. The Matriarch was right. She remembered Liara's despair in the wake of her mother's death and knew that the individual that was under Saren's control could be nothing like the mother that Liara had known throughout her youth. Still, it angered her that the asari government would even suspect Liara of the same sort of betrayal.

"I'm sorry," Shepard eventually said.

"Yeah well, there are some things you shouldn't have an opinion on," the asari replied with a tinge of regret in her voice. "Anyway, it all turned out to be a bit of a farce. You try spying on the most powerful information broker in the galaxy – doesn't exactly work like it's supposed to. To tell the truth, I was glad to be found out. I don't have much of a relationship with her, but it's something. When you're as old as I am, you're grateful for any time spent with your children - especially that one."

Shepard instinctively nodded. Every moment she'd spent with Liara was etched inside her mind...including the ones she would rather forget.

The Matriarch continued, "Can't for the life of me understand why, but the kid loves you."

She swallowed but her mouth was dry. "Yeah, I don't quite understand it myself."

"If I can't get her to tell you to fuck off, then I can at least make sure you treat her right...which you've done a fucking terrible job of so far. Dragging her into a fight against Saren, allowing her to fall in love with you and then getting yourself killed. You're the daughter-in-law from hell, Shepard."

"You really shouldn't worry. Liara and I...we're nothing right now-"

"Listen here, Commander, there's a fucking galactic war raging that could potentially kill every last one of us. You can't sit around on your pale human ass waiting for a 'right time.' It may never come."

Shepard suddenly wished she had taken the Matriarch up on her offer of Krogan brandy. Perhaps with a glass of the stuff sitting in her stomach she would have been able to march back to the _Normandy_ and into Liara's quarters. As it was, the prospect still terrified her.

"Maybe there is a chance-" Shepard began.

"But this doesn't mean you can treat her like shit, you hear?" the asari interrupted and levelled a finger in Shepard's direction. "Or by the Goddess I will hunt you down and make you wish you were dead."

Shepard nodded quickly. "I'll keep her safe as well."

The Matriarch scoffed. "She doesn't need you to keep her safe, the kid's quarter Krogan. She can look after herself."

_Liara's a quarter Krogan? I thought I was the one with the bad temper._ "Um...thanks for the advice," Shepard said as she pushed away from the bar.

"I haven't given you shit, now fuck off, I'm a very busy person," the Matriarch replied as Shepard started backing away. She added, "And Commander?"

Shepard glanced over her shoulder. "Yes ma'am?"

"None of this sir or ma'am crap, the name's Aethyta. Tell Liara I said hi."

"Yes ma'am...Aethyta."

As Shepard made her way through the Commons in the direction of her elevator, she had to ask herself repeatedly whether that conversation had really happened.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

_{Do I really look that bad, Shepard? I feel as though all this running and gunning is helping my relive my misspent youth.}_

"I wouldn't presume to comment on your appearance, Admiral, except to say that it looks as though you haven't showered in a month."

Shepard's comment earned a hearty chuckle from Anderson in reply. The deep laugh made her feel somewhat guilty. She was comfortable and relatively safe on-board the _Normandy_ , while Anderson and his soldiers were fighting a guerrilla war in the mud. Food, ammunition, medical supplies were all in short supply – and yet he could still find it within himself to laugh at her quip. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt the urge to laugh at anything, especially not the War.

_{Have you heard how work on the Crucible is progressing?}_ Anderson asked. _{Comms with Hackett have been problematic over the past week.}_

"It's coming together rapidly from what I've heard," Shepard replied. "With any luck, we'll have these Reapers mopped up in time for your birthday."

_{Since when have you ever remembered my birthday?}_ Anderson replied. _{Where are you travels taking you next?}_

"That's actually the reason I wanted to talk to you, sir. We're headed to Grissom Academy. I believe a friend of yours is stationed there - Kahlee Sanders? I wanted to let you know that she sent out a distress call, we're responding."

Anderson's face softened noticeably. "Thank you, Shepard. Kahlee and I have been through a lot together. Give her my best will you?"

"I'll do that, sir."

Anderson's expression shifted and his attention turned elsewhere. The image was suddenly interrupted with a buzz of static. Anderson's likeness flickered.

"Shit," he hissed angrily.

"Anderson?"

"Gotta go, Shepard, fucking bastards have penetrated our lines with heavies!"

As Anderson's image winked out, all Shepard could do was close her eyes and bow her head, trusting that Anderson's leadership would be enough to keep him and his men alive.

"May fifteenth," Shepard said quietly to herself.

She allowed herself a few more moments of solitude before leaving the comm. room. The first person she saw when she marched into the War Room was the hard visage of the Turian Primarch. Victus was leaning heavily against a console, his piercing gaze directed towards her as though he had been waiting for her.

"Primarch?"

Victus' gaze darted furtively around the War Room, the few other crewmembers present, were all deeply engaged in work of their own. Even so, Victus appeared reluctant to speak. Shepard impatiently tapped her foot, she'd yet to experience even a minute of the extra sleep she had promised herself. Standing around waiting for a reluctant Turian was not getting her any closer to her bed.

"Forgive me, Commander. I have a matter that is slightly…delicate that I need to discuss with you," the Primarch said in a low tone.

"You're on my ship, Primarch," Shepard was reluctant to drag out the conversation any longer than necessary. "Whatever you have to say, you can say it in confidence right here."

"Very well. A ship carrying a Turian squad went down on Tuchanka during a high level mission. They're currently pinned down by a Reaper advance guard."

"You're bringing this to me now? We're already en route to the Petra Nebula, Primarch. I'm afraid your squad will have to wait."

"Time is of the essence!" Victus paused for a moment. He turned as though struggling with something. When he faced Shepard once again, his movements were agitated. "You have to understand, Commander, those men…they must complete their mission – at all costs!"

"What the hell are Turians even doing on Tuchanka? What is their mission?"

"I'm afraid that's classified, but it is of fundamental importance to the war effort."

Shepard frowned. The Primarch was acting in an increasingly agitated manner – well, for a Turian at least. One of his mandibles was twitching in the same way Garrus' did whenever he was worried about something. It was a safe bet to suspect that the situation was more complicated than the extraction of survivors from a crashed ship.

"And there is a school full of biotic students in danger of being taken by Cerberus. I'm not changing course until you fill me in on the rest of the story, Primarch," Shepard said firmly.

"I'm sorry, Commander I have my order. I know you have many pressing priorities, but you must divert course!" The Primarch paused before uttering a weary sigh. "The officer in charge of the mission...well, he's my son. I needed someone I could trust beyond reproach. I hope that will go some way towards convincing you of the importance of their rescue."

Shepard listened to the tightness in his voice. She ground her teeth. Her every instinct knew that the Primarch had come to her with something vital, but she'd set a course and told Anderson that she was going to get Kahlee Sanders off the threatened station. Just for a moment, she closed her eyes and thought back to the decision she'd made on Virmire. _Fuck._

"If you're telling me it's vital to the war-"

"If this mission fails, then everything else may likely come crashing down with it."

"Fine, we're going."

"Thank you, Commander," the Primarch replied with all sincerity.

Shepard shook her head. "Don't thank me, thank those school kids who are probably going to sacrifice their lives for your damn mission. Joker?"

_{Do you just presume I'm always in the cockpit? I'm not a robot you know...no offense, EDI}_

"A simple ma'am would suffice. Set a course for Tuchanka."

_{I thought we were heading to Grissom Academy?}_

"Priority's changed."

_{You take us to all the nicest spots...aye-aye, ma'am, Tuchanka it is.}_

"And EDI? I'll be in my quarters, not to be disturbed for four hours."

* * *

 

Shepard had barely pulled her bed covers up over her body when she threw them aside. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and dropped her head forward, hair flopping over her face. With a huff, she dragged her wayward hair back and tucked it behind her ears. Despite the fact that she was wasting precious time that she ought to have been sleeping, she couldn't stop thinking about the kids she'd turned her back on. After seeing what Cerberus had done to their troops on Mars, Shepard didn't even want to think what they would do to a couple of dozen talented young biotics.

"EDI, can you patch me through to Specialist Traynor's terminal?"

A few moments later, the young woman's warm tones answered. _{Commander, you wanted to speak to me?}_

"I need you to try and raise another frigate - anyone. Captain Antilles on the _Midway_ or Zunqi on the _Saratoga._ Ask them, no, _tell them_ that they need to go to Grissom Academy and get those kids out."

_{Aye-aye, ma'am.}_

Antilles and Zunqi were both good sailors, Shepard knew that she could trust that either of them would do their utmost to rescue the Grissom Academy kids. However, even then she could not bring herself to try and sleep. She padded across the floor to her fish tank where she stood, watching the soothing motion of the trio of brightly coloured Thessian sunfish she'd bought on the Citadel. They darted to seize the food she sprinkled and she absently wondered whether the little fish knew how much danger they were in.

* * *

 

Shepard slammed open the door on her locker. In doing so, she caught a glance of her reflection in the small mirror on the back of the door. It last only a moment  – she'd long since given up caring about the progression of scars across her face, or even caring that she could barely tell what colour her eyes were supposed to be. Instead she looked at the new Kassa Fabrications armour set she had picked up whilst on the Citadel. It was made all the more different from her old N7 suit by the fact that she had opted to change the colour. Instead of charcoal grey, the suit was a rich maroon with gold stripes running down both arms. Shepard sighed. It had seemed like a good idea whilst ordering it, now she realised that it looked absolutely ridiculous.

It was too late to do anything other than put it on. Regardless of the colour, it would still save her bacon in a fire fight.

Garrus joined her just as she was pulling on her gauntlets. The gruff Turian didn't even comment on her armour, he merely nodded in greeting and selected his Viper from the weapons rack.

"Straight extraction then?" Garrus asked, sighting down the barrel.

"On the face of it," Shepard replied as she moved to pick up her Mattock. "Victus isn't telling us everything. I'm of half a mind to force the old bastard to tell me what the hell is going on at gunpoint. Although I expect that wouldn't get me anywhere."

"Well, he is a Turian." Garrus shrugged.

"Just keep your wits about you."

"I always keep my wits about me, Shepard," Garrus replied with a shrug, his eyes then sparkled playfully. "Although I may be blinded by your new armour."

Shepard winced. "I look stupid don't I?"

"I'm a Turian – I can't possibly comment with any authority on human fashion trends," Garrus replied tactfully.

The rest of the squad was already kitted out and waiting near the shuttle. In addition to Vega, Shepard had picked Corporal Duquesne and Private Brake. Both marines had proven themselves as able squadmates on Mars. Duquesne merely nodded when she approached. The Corporal was far too well trained to make any comment on the colour of her new armour.

"Woah, Lola!" Vega however, was not adverse to comments. "No one's going to miss you coming."

"I can do without any remarks from you on this op, thanks Vega," Shepard replied tersely. "Where's Liara?"

Vega frowned. "Liara?"

"Good to go, Shepard."

Both Vega and Shepard looked towards the addition to their conversation. Neither of them had seen Liara walk out of the elevator. The asari was already fully kitted out in her white 'softsuit' – obviously not having had the opportunity to replace the battle armour that had been ruined on Menae. While the armour was less bulky than the other, it was specially designed to recharge biotic powers faster. Her trademark Carnifex was in her hip holster, Tempest submachine gun on the other side.

Shepard nodded towards Liara. "Pleased you could join us."

As the squad went through their last preparations, Shepard also gathered the last of her equipment – back-up medigel and every soldier's staple – grenades. She decided to add a couple of incendiaries to her usual complement of frags.

"You're not serious?" Vega suddenly appeared at her side.

Shepard turned, gritting her teeth with irritation. "Have you got something to say, Lieutenant?"

"Liara's barely had three days to recover from her wounds and you're taking her back into combat?" Vega demanded.

"Asari physiology is different to ours, they heal faster," Shepard explained patiently despite the fact that Vega was well and truly out of line. She wasn't at all sure where Vega's concern for Liara had originated from but it was fast pissing her off. "Unless you've suddenly developed biotic powers overnight, I need her on this one."

"Yeah I know you need her, Commander," Vega said, following her for a short distance. "But it's got nothing to do with her biotic powers. You just can't let her go can you?"

"You're off the mission, Vega," Shepard replied in a tight voice, watching the resulting crestfallen expression on his face. "And you can be sure I'll be having words with you when I get back."

"Ma-am-"

"Dismissed."

It was an angry Shepard who took her seat inside the shuttle as the door slammed shut behind her. Vega's insubordinate behaviour rattled her. Her decision to bring Liara hadn't been spur of the moment. She'd had Dr Chakwas give Liara the all clear. Save for a few barely visible bruises, Liara was good to go.

As the shuttle launched she found herself grinding her teeth. Who the hell was Vega to call her out? Shepard discreetly glanced across at Liara sitting on the opposite side of the shuttle. The asari was sitting next to Garrus, engaged in a light-hearted conversation with him, even smiling occasionally. Once Liara met Shepard's gaze – just for a moment – but it was enough to convey exactly what Shepard needed to know. She could almost hear the asari's voice in her head. _We're going to work through this, Shepard_.

Vega had been right. She did need Liara...and it wasn't just for her biotics.

* * *

 

**Tuchanka, Aralakh System**

_Shepard was a soldier. She had long since lost count of the number of battles she had been in – small skirmishes with just a few squadmates at her side contrasted with the clash of thousands of personnel spread across miles. Hell, there had been more than a few one on one fights. There was the raw desperation of two opposing soldiers on the front line clawing at each other with their bare bands, both desperate to live. Even the back alley arguments she had been involved in during her days as an enlisted marine (and the odd few as a junior officer) called upon the same skills._

_She looked around. The Reapers were everywhere. Cannibals, Marauders – the bullets arcing out from their weapons were almost beautiful in the darkness. Shepard felt around for her own weapon but her gloved fingers clawed at nothing but mud. It was an effort to haul herself onto her feet, and once there she wavered on legs that didn't feel strong enough to hold her weight. There was blood covering her armour. She had no idea how much of it was her own, but she knew from the sharp stabs of pain throughout her body that she had been wounded somewhere._

_Her gaze travelled across the scene around her. Her friends were fighting and dying while she was stumbling in the mud. Was this the end of everything? Were they on the verge of losing the war with the Reapers? Shepard felt her vision begin to cloud at the edges, but she could still see well enough to make out a familiar figure in the distance. It was Liara. The asari was surrounded by husks, bravely trying to fight them off. Shepard heard her utter a cry of determination as she sent a powerful mass effect field radiating out from her body. Used only in desperation, the pulse drained a biotic's field and left them weak and vulnerable. Although Liara had killed the husks in her immediate vicinity, Shepard watched helplessly as more surged towards her. She collapsed exhausted to one knee, barely able to lift the heavy pistol in her hand. Shepard was too far away - even if her legs hand been able to work properly, she would not have been able to reach her in time. Not unless she could travel across the battlefield almost instantaneously..._

_Shepard couldn't describe what happened. It was almost as if the terrain folded in on itself. She was standing still one moment, and surging forward in the next. With her body encased in a red barrier, Shepard slammed into the husks surrounding Liara. A guttural cry erupted from her mouth as she slammed her fist into the earth, sending the energy outwards a massive shockwave._

"Hey."

The voice was relatively soft but Shepard's eyes snapped open anyway. She found Liara standing in front of her, one hand clutching an overhead support as the shuttle was buffeted by waves of turbulence. There was an amused expression on her face.

"I thought you were deep in thought, but then I saw the drool and realised you were actually asleep," she commented. "Are you alright?"

Shepard quickly swiped at her face, hoping Liara had just been teasing. However, sure enough, a thin trail of drool had leaked from the corner of her mouth. She winced but replied in a nonchalant voice, "Yeah. Just haven't been sleeping well lately."

"You have to be the only person I know who can actually fall asleep during a shuttle drop," Liara commented.

"Commander!" Cortez's shout interrupted any further conversation. "I need you up here!"

Shepard accepted a hand out of her seat from Liara. At the moment that she was standing on her own feet, a sudden blast of turbulence slammed into the shuttle and shook its occupants. Despite being well used to such occurrences, Shepard was momentarily thrown off balance and forward against Liara's body. Liara instinctively clutched at her waist to steady her. Even though her body armour denied any tactile sensation, Shepard felt a brief thrill, especially when Liara spoke and she felt a warm breath on her face.

"You look quite dashing in your new armour, Shepard," she said quietly.

"I think the colour might be a bit much," Shepard admitted.

Liara shook her head slightly. "No, it is perfect. It has 'don't mess with me' written all over it."

Then, as though Liara suddenly realised that they were effectively standing in the middle of the shuttle in each other's arms, she pulled away. Shepard felt a pang of disappointment when the contact disappeared but she quickly tucked the quiet interlude at the back of her mind to be savoured later and turned her attention to the mission at hand.

Cortez was busy at the controls when she made her way forward.

"Commander, I'm going to set you down here. We're well back from the crash site but it looks as though the Reapers haven't spotted us. I'm worried if I try to get in any closer-"

Shepard slapped him on the shoulder and interrupted, "That's fine, Cortez. I'd rather hump to the crash site than land in the middle of a shitstorm."

Less than a minute later, the shuttle's engines roared loudly as Cortez slowed his descent and brought them into land. The hydraulics hissed in the moment before the shuttle door opened. With the wrenching sound of mechanics fouled by dust, it slid open to reveal the wasteland that was Tuchanka. As Cortez hovered above the surface, Shepard and her squadmates leapt out – each with their weapon at the ready.

"EDI, have you managed to get hold of Lieutenant Victus?" Shepard asked over her comm. as she searched the ruins ahead of them.

_{I have, Commander,}_ the AI replied almost immediately. _{I am connecting you now.}_

"Lieutenant Victus?" Shepard asked. "This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy. Do you read, over?"

_{They've...surrounded. My men...being cut to ribbons out here!}_ the voice on the other end was heavily distorted but she could hear the panic in the Turian's voice.

"I need you to send up a flare so we can find you," Shepard continued calmly. She glanced skyward in time to see a brilliant red flare soar into the air. "Got you. We'll be there as soon as we can."

_{Hurry the hell up, Commander!}_

"Panicking to such an extent is uncharacteristic of a Turian Lieutenant," Garrus commented once the communication had cut out. He sounded almost apologetic.

"Agreed," Shepard replied. She scanned her surroundings as they pushed forward into the ruins. "It's going to get damn tight in here, move fast but keep your eyes peeled. When we find trouble, hit cover as fast as you can."

She hardly needed to issue any such instructions. Garrus had been a soldier even longer than her while Liara had been taking care of herself since before she was even born. It sometimes seemed redundant to offer advice to two of her most experienced squadmates – however it was as much for her benefit as theirs. Heading into confined terrain of which she had no knowledge, she needed to feel as though she was in control of something. In many situations the difference between a good leader and a dead one, was control of the situation.

They soon passed into the shadows. Shepard took point alongside Corporal Duquesne. Liara and Brake were in the middle, and Garrus brought up the rear.

Shepard's boots scraped over the rocky soil as she moved. With the practiced steps of a soldier, she kept her movements to a minimum and her rifle in the ready position. Gone were any traces of the fatigue she had felt earlier. It was replaced by a combination of adrenaline and a healthy dose of fear – two of the elements necessary for survival in any soldier's arsenal. The sound of gunfire already filled the air, no doubt from the pinned Turians struggling to keep the Reaper advance guard at bay.

Every few minutes she fought the urge to glance over her shoulder and see how Liara was holding up. She caught the occasional glimpse of the asari out of the corner of her eye as she scanned her surroundings. Each sound Liara made - a slight grunt as she vaulted over a fallen pillar, her boots sliding down the loose gravel of a slope, a whispered comment pointing out some distant feature – reassured Shepard that she was able to keep up. It was difficult to banish her concerns altogether. Even though she had been in similar situations countless times, today it seemed different. She had a slender chance to make their relationship work. If something happened to either one of them, then it would be lost.

_It's a routine rescue,_ y _ou'll be in and out before you know it._ She hugged a nearby wall and checked the path ahead was clear. As she did her thoughts wandered. _And what about the next mission...and the one after that?_

Shepard moved forward, slowing to a quiet crawl as she saw a glimpse of movement ahead. She held up her hand to indicate a halt. Her instincts had been right and there were three Cannibals up ahead. So far they appeared not to have heard anything. However any resulting gun fire would definitely give away their position. Shepard signalled to Liara. The asari immediately fell in beside her. Shepard caught a hint of her familiarly pleasant scent in the air.

"There are bound to be more nearby," she whispered. "I'll leave these ones to you and Garrus and the rest of us will push forward in a flanking position."

Liara nodded. Shepard placed a hand lightly, almost unconsciously, on her shoulder before signalling to Garrus and moving forward. In the moments it took them to get into position, Liara had lit one of the Cannibals up with a warp field. She rapidly followed it up with a throw, detonating the first power. The resulting biotic explosion ripped outwards and into the other two Cannibals. They were slammed against nearby walls and fell twitching. Garrus was used his Revenant to finish them off.

Shepard's instincts had been correct as other Cannibals that had been lurking nearby joined the fray. The lasted only marginally longer than the first group, cut down beneath a barrage of withering, accurate rifle fire.

With the first pocket of resistance cleared out, the squad pushed forward in the direction the flare had indicated. Now that the Reaper hordes were aware of their presence, they started encountering Cannibals and Marauders at regular intervals – just small groups at first. They were easily picked off with a hail of gunfire and Liara's biotic powers either creating more explosions or drawing enemies helplessly into singularities.

At one stage Shepard glanced across at Liara and met her gaze. The asari responded with a firm nod that conveyed the necessary words in a much shorter space of time _. I'm fine, Shepard - you don't need to worry about me._

Just as Shepard was beginning to believe that their run to the downed Turians would be straightforward, she heard the familiar, guttural growl of a Brute fill the air. Crammed in amongst ruins of tight corridors and low ceilings was not a good position to be in with one of the massive, armoured creatures. Shepard saw it approaching ahead, thankfully the ruins opened out slightly into what had once been a massive hall. The pillars offered good cover, not only from the Brute but the Cannibals and Marauders who were still firing. Just as Shepard was mapping out a strategy in her head, she saw a second massive shape behind the first. There were two Brutes.

"Just because I wasn't having enough fun already," Shepard muttered as she crouched behind cover, slamming a fresh thermal clip into her Mattock.

"I hate those things," Liara added as she peered cautiously towards the oncoming hulks.

"You concentrate on breaking up the others," Shepard ordered. "Keep them away from Garrus and I while we bring those Brutes down."

"Understood!"

Liara was already rising to her feet as she replied. Before Shepard could tell the asari to keep her head down, Liara was vaulting over their cover and firing warp throw combinations off as fast as she could. The low-ceiling space soon echoed with the boom of biotic explosions – they drowned out the pig-like squeals of the Cannibals.

With a last rueful glance in the direction of the commando-like figure diving in and out of cover, Shepard motioned to the rest of her squad to try and get to higher ground above the Brutes – that would at least offer them some protection against their charges. There was no use for any other sort of tactics. It was simply raw damage per second as they opened fire. Shepard was grateful for the armour-piercing mod on her Mattock. She could practically see her bullets chewing through the thick hides of the beasts as they advanced. They had only managed to bring the first one down when the second was almost on top of them. With astonishing speed for something of its size, it raked the ledge they were standing on with a massive claw. Shepard leapt and rolled to one side, Duquesne the other. As she scrambled away, she felt for the grenades at her waist – thankfully she'd brought five, as many as she could carry. Two were already in her hand, she ripped both pins out with one sharp tug and threw them. At the same time she threw herself backwards, she hit cover and tumbled behind it just as the dull thuds hit her eardrums and shrapnel went flying above her. A split second later, Mattock in hand, Shepard sprang up and started firing. On the other side of the Brute, she heard Garrus' Revenant open up and saw the ferocious hail of high-velocity slugs slam into the creature. Unfortunately however, the Brute had zeroed in on her. Despite the fact that the grenades had nearly severed one of its arms and the continuing hail of gunfire, it was still advancing. With an angry cry, it surged forward and whirled its wounded arm in her direction. Shepard was forced to duck as the claw smashed into a pillar just above her head. Her evasive roll took her only a few feet before she found her path blocked by yet more rubble.

_Shit in a fucking barrel_ , Shepard thought eloquently.

In order to make her escape, she had to expose herself to the Brute's claws so she could scramble over the rubble. It was sheer desperation on her hands and knees, palms scrambling at the stone as she felt for a third grenade. Suddenly she heard two biotic strikes in quick succession. With a final cry and one last swipe in Shepard's direction, the Brute fell dead. As the dust settled around its body, Shepard saw the claw had been only scant centimetres from smashing into her flailing leg. She glanced over her shoulder to see Liara emerging from cover, a mass effect field still dancing on her fingertips in case anything else was lurking.

"Thanks!" Shepard gasped as she scrambled back onto her feet.

"I thought you would have learnt from my mistake," Liara remarked wryly as she joined Shepard. "Close quarters combat with a Brute always ends badly."

"Lesson well and truly learnt," Shepard replied as she wiped a thin film of dust from her face. She saw Garrus and Private Brake through the dust. "Corporal?"

Duquesne picked herself up from behind a pillar. The corporal had lost her helmet in the fall and there was a nasty gash on the side of her head. "Here, ma'am. Good to go," she said as she retrieved her helmet and tugged it back on.

"Shepard, we've found our missing Turians!" Garrus called out.

When Shepard turned she saw several small figures in the distance. The Turians had found a raised platform that was relatively easy to defend, while sacrificing any chance of making an escape. The small squad immediately started picking their way across the ruined hall towards the surviving Turians. They had made it less than half way across when all three of them heard the terrible sound of massive wings beating the air.

The cry went up from the Turians first. "Harvester!"

The entire squad hit cover almost instantaneously. To be caught out in the open in the path of the beast's head mounted cannons invited a swift, messy death. The Harvester was still flying when the characteristic drone of the cannons sounded. As Shepard crouched in the scant protection offered by an overhang, shattered pieces of rock rained down on her. She was about to ask herself why she never carried a missile launcher as the rock behind her was suddenly torn apart by several cannon strikes in rapid succession. She managed to scramble free while tearing two incendiary grenades from her webbing, thankful she hadn't expended them all on the Brutes. While the Harvester was focused on the Turians as it landed, she hurled both in its direction. They struck squarely beneath its lightly armoured belly, ripping into its flesh and causing it to howl in pain. She then opened up with the armour-piercing rounds on her Mattock, Garrus soon followed suit as Liara let off warp fields to further break apart its defences. They had to keep up the pressure even as the Harvester laid waste to the area around them. Staying in one spot for too long only concentrated its impressive firepower.

Shepard was about to throw her last grenade when the earth around the shook. The Harvester had finally sagged and dropped to its knees. Only a few sporadic shots from a horribly mutated Reaper creation followed. The combined fire from both her squad and the Turians soon brought it down altogether. Either dead or dying, it had stopped firing on them.

The Primarch's son was the first to greet Shepard, although it was not a happy greeting. From the slump of his shoulders and the mood of his men she could tell that they were on their last legs. Their damaged shuttle sat behind them, sheltering several wounded Turians. Almost a dozen more lay dead in the vicinity.

"Commander Shepard I presume?" he said, his voice sounding hollow and defeated. "Lieutenant Tarquin Victus. My men and I are indebted to you."

"How are you holding up?" Shepard enquired.

Victus sighed. "Not so good, we're down over half our company-"

"Because you fucked up!" another Turian growled, obviously not caring that he was speaking to a senior officer.

Victus whirled on the insubordinate soldier. "Stow it, Cassius! I'll take full responsibility for my bad call and the failure of the mission but I don't need you to remind me!"

"The failure of your mission?" Shepard frowned. "You're not going to complete it?"

"In case you didn't hear me, Commander, I've got thirty dead and wounded – there's no way I've got the manpower to complete the mission. It's over."

"What was your mission?" Shepard asked, hoping she'd be able to get it out of the Primarch's son where she had failed with the Primarch himself.

"We were sent here to diffuse a bomb," Victus replied in a tired voice.

"You're on a bomb disposal mission? A full company?" Shepard asked warily.

"The bomb is enormous, it has the potential to level one of the most populated centres on Tuchanka," he explained further. He looked directly at Shepard for his last statement. "And Cerberus has it."

"Fucking hell!" Shepard barked immediately. _I knew it had to get worse_. She levelled a finger in the hapless Lieutenant's direction. "Victus, whatever the hell those fuckers want with that bomb, you can bet it's not to diffuse the damn thing. If Cerberus is involved then it is imperative that you complete your mission!"

"I know the risks at stake, Commander but I simply don't have the manpower!"

Shepard sighed as she knew the conversation was heading in an inevitable direction. She took one glance back towards the _Normandy_ team. Duquesne was their only casualty so far, and the plucky Corporal was staring back at her with a determined expression. The other four appeared fresh and relaxed in comparison to the Turians. "Yes you will, Lieutenant. My squad and I are coming with you. Get your shit together. We leave as soon as we have transport."

As Shepard waited for Cortez to rendezvous with them, she watched as Liara moved effortlessly amongst the wounded Turians, doing what she could with the few supplies they had. Before she could be caught staring, Shepard went to check on Duquesne.

"Let me have a look at that wound."

"I'm fine, ma'am-"

" _Corporal_ ," Shepard interrupted.

With a reluctant expression, the young marine dragged her helmet off. The blood had since congealed, matting her red hair to the side of her head. With a practiced eye, Shepard scanned the gash. It looked worse than it actually was. She applied a thin dab of medigel to keep it sealed.

"Thank you, Commander," Duquesne said as Shepard took a seat next to her.

Shepard propped herself up against a pillar, grateful for the brief respite. She glanced down at her webbing and saw that she'd somehow managed to lose all but one of her grenades in the struggle with the Brutes. Just one incendiary grenade remained. She drew it out of its pouch and rolled it between her fingers like a toy.

"Things aren't that bad, surely?" Duquesne risked a joke with her commanding officer.

"They're never that bad," Shepard replied. She turned to look at the woman sitting beside her and realised that, like most of the new crewmembers, she barely knew her. "What's your first name, Corporal?"

"My first name? Um...it's Maggie. Margaret actually but well, no one calls me that except my Mum."

"Well, Maggie, you're one hell of a soldier. I'm glad to have you on board the _Normandy_."

Shepard spared the young woman's blushes by turning to concentrate on the small cluster of Turians. Those that were unwounded, and even a few of the walking wounded, were gathering together as many supplies as they could scavenge for the push to complete their mission. She looked across at Adrian Victus, doing his best to issue orders but hopelessly inexperienced. The Primarch may have chosen someone he could trust, but he didn't choose the best soldier for the job. Without her leadership, the Turians didn't have a chance in hell of reaching the bomb.

Garrus approached and took up a position at her side. "Thinking about who you'd like to blow up next?"

"What?" Shepard suddenly remembered that she was still holding the grenade. "It's my last one."

"Better save it for something worthwhile then," was Garrus' practical advice.

 


	14. The Bitch and the Bomb

**North America, Earth**

The almost imperceptible recoil of the Avenger had become as familiar as breathing to Second-Lieutenant Lucy Park. A firm squeeze of the trigger sent the contents of her thermal clip into a mass of husks approaching their position. She watched with satisfaction as the combined fire from their weapons cut the monsters down. Seeing them fall and twitch and squirm on the ground was one of the very few pleasures available to her...or any of them for that matter. A quick glace across confirmed that Foss Leach was still at her side, his hunting rifle drilling a Cannibal directly through the head. Foss was a civilian - their ragtag little army had picked up more than a few as they fought the Reapers. Most they guided safely to one of the hidden shelters. There they could find food, limited medical care and some protection from the enemy that was laying waste to their world. It didn't always last of course - shelters were being overrun all the time. As she cut down another few husks, Lucy remembered the last one they had come across. Women and children burnt and blackened beyond recognition. It was one thing for a soldier to die like that, but innocent people was another matter altogether. It was the reason that some civilians opted to join the resistance rather than wait to meet their fate.

Lucy jumped slightly when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to see the calm visage of Admiral Anderson staring back at her.

"If we stay here any longer we'll get pinned down and surrounded. We're falling back to higher ground," he informed her quickly.

Lucy responded with a sharp nod. "Yessir."

She gathered the few supplies she had lying around her position – thermal clips, grenades and the small backpack that carried all her possessions. Within the forested area around her, the Alliance personnel and armed civilians were rapidly moving backwards. Although it was performed at pace, every individual knew instinctively what they were doing. With Foss at her side, Lucy covered their retreat. She kept the bursts from her Avenger short and did not allow herself to dwell on any one target for too long. Occasionally she tossed a grenade into a cluster of Cannibals and Marauders, breaking apart the group before they could concentrate fire on the retreating humans. It was a series of actions she had performed almost every day since the Reaper invasion began. Despondency was a constant companion. Lucy knew too many others who grew tired of running and subsequently tired of living. She couldn't deny that the thought had crossed her mind as well. Often she lay awake in the darkness wondering what she had left to live for – Susannah was dead, her world was burning. She had to tell herself that the fight they were putting up was slowing down the Reapers. It was giving Admiral Hackett time to rebuild and gather support from around the galaxy. _Yeah,_ Lucy thought as she jammed her finger on the trigger only to find her clip exhausted. _One woman with an Avenger is slowing down those huge space machines._ She fumbled for another clip but in her haste she dropped it.

"Shit, Luce," Foss yelled at her. "The little bastards are flanking us!"

Lucy scooped up the fallen clip, however she did not even have the time to eject the spent one before a hail of weapons fire erupted all around her. Instinctively, she threw her body to the ground. A cry of pain sounded from nearby and she glanced up to see Foss go down clutching at his stomach.

"Foss!" Lucy started to scramble towards him on all fours.

An explosion tore apart the ground between her and the fallen civilian. The resulting shockwave sent her reeling backwards. When she tried to pick herself up again, she found most of her body was uncooperative. With a gasp of pain, Lucy slumped to the ground and rolled over onto her back. She struggled onto her elbows and looked down to see several tears in the front of her uniform. Blood was welling quickly out of each. Lucy sagged back against the cool earth and closed her eyes. The peace that had eluded her over the past few weeks suddenly enveloped her. Nothing else mattered. The war seemed distant and insubstantial.

The peace was suddenly shattered as she was shaken back to reality. Rough hands were grabbing at her, dragging her back into the noise of combat. She tried to open her eyes but only one was working properly. As she was about to struggle, she looked up and saw Anderson staring back at her.

"Sorry, Park, we're not done with you yet," he said as he gathered up her limbs. "This is going to hurt like hell."

Lucy heard herself scream as Anderson threw her over his shoulders. The pain was excruciating, a light year away from the peace she had felt a moment earlier.

"Put me down," she gasped weakly.

"You're trying to give orders to an Admiral, Second-Lieutenant?" Anderson grunted with the effort of shifting her weight.

With her secure across his shoulders, Anderson started moving at a run. Lucy was barely conscious as she was jostled about, but she could see the chaos on either side of them. The trees on either side of them were being cut to ribbons by cannon fire. Shrapnel whizzed through the air, slicing at her ear drums and taunting them both with the threat of death. It didn't seem possible that Anderson could carry her to any sort of safety. By now they would be cut off from the rest of the force, no doubt on the verge of being surrounded. Anderson suddenly stumbled, letting out a deep cry of pain as he dropped down to one knee.

"Leave me," Lucy insisted.

"Not going to happen, Park!" Anderson growled.

Lucy recognised the sound of incoming heavy artillery, it haunted her sleep. She woke in the middle of the night hearing the Reaper cannons firing, only to discover that it had been a dream. She knew what they sounded like when they zeroed in on you. The droning sound was all she could hear and she knew they were in trouble.

 _Anderson should have left me when he had the chance_ , she thought bitterly.

The world around them both erupted in fire. It tore at her skin, her mind and then nothing. She had her peace back again.

* * *

 

**Tuchanka, Aralakh System**

When a Turian elbow rammed into her tender ribs, Liara had to resist the urge to wince in pain. She merely smiled at his sincere apology and tried to make her already slender body even smaller. Unfortunately the interior of the shuttle resembled a can of those Earth fish she couldn't remember the name of. Liara remembered Engineer Adams trying to get her to try them once but the tiny little eyes staring back at her had ruined her appetite.

Sardines - that was the name she was looking for. They were jammed in like a can of sardines.

She kept her face a mask of calm despite the pain, knowing full well that Shepard would be watching for any hint that she was in trouble. A wince would be enough to earn a one-way ticket back to the _Normandy_. Although she didn't like it, concealment was necessary as the Commander was standing right next to her. Shepard would cast habitual glances in her direction whilst talking to Tarquin Victus. As the shuttle bounced around in Tuchanka's wounded atmosphere, her body was constantly being thrown against Shepard's. Awkward apologies had followed at first, but they had soon accepted that it was an unavoidable aspect of being in close proximity. As Liara moved further away from the sharp Turian elbows, she pressed closer to Shepard. Avoiding wincing became easy in comparison to stopping her heartbeat from racing.

"So this Cerberus bomb-" Shepard addressed the Turian Lieutenant.

"Commander, please," Tarquin Victus let out an audible sigh after interrupting. "I cannot ask you and your squad to risk your lives on this mission without knowing the truth. This bomb, it's not Cerberus...it's Turian."

Liara couldn't help but overhear and respond, "Why would your people do that?"

"Failsafe," it was Garrus who replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "If the Krogan rebelled again despite the genophage, then a bomb on such a scale would have put them down hard and fast."

"That was the plan," Victus nodded. "Unfortunately Cerberus found out about it somehow. If that bomb were to detonate...well, I don't need to explain the consequences to anyone, especially not you, Commander Shepard."

"All out war between the Krogan and Turians," Shepard murmured unnecessarily.

Even as the sheltered scientist she'd been a few years earlier, Liara still would have understood the cataclysmic ramifications of that event. They'd probably wipe themselves out before the Reapers could.

"Listen up, people! We've probably lost the element of surprise so we're going to strike hard and we're going to strike fast. There is no room for hesitation on this one. If you fall behind, we won't be stopping for you – not until the job's done-"

Liara caught Shepard's eye and responded with a determined nod. She wasn't going to be the one falling behind.

"I don't need to remind anyone of the consequences of failure. It is simply not an option. Double check your gear, check your buddy's gear and good luck to you all. ETA is one minute and counting."

Liara watched with an expression half way between dismay and acceptance as Shepard took her customary spot directly in front of the door. Regardless of the situation, the Commander was consistently determined to be the first to set her feet on the ground. She then used her own elbows to work her way past the Turians to stand at Shepard's side. Shepard gave her a quick sideways glance – saw the determined look in her eyes - and didn't say a word.

As the shuttle circled in a tight arc on its landing approach, the sardines in the can were thrown around mercilessly. While none of them could see what was happening outside, their instincts told them everything they needed to know. Cerberus was throwing heavy artillery at them, either attempting to shoot the shuttle down or make it impossible to get the squad out of the LZ in one piece. Liara stumbled, receiving a good many more Turian elbows. Before she could lift her arm to grab at an overhead rail, she found herself steadied by a single arm around her waist. She didn't need to look to know who it was, but she did so anyway. One of Shepard's hands was holding fast to the handrail, while the other drew her in close. There was no point in saying anything, their voices would barely be heard over the roar of the barrage outside. Shepard's arm and body kept her securely on her feet, even when the door slid open to reveal the LZ – or what little could be seen of it. It was currently being torn up by shell after shell of heavy artillery, throwing clouds of dust and debris into the air.

The noise was almost deafening but somehow Shepard managed to make herself heard as Cortez hovered the shuttle just off the ground. "Move, move, move!"

With Shepard's grip gone, Liara launched herself out of the shuttle and sprinted like hell for the nearest cover. Her first instinct was to throw up a biotic shield. Just as she did, she felt it ripple with the concussive blast of a nearby shell. As she threw herself hard against a slight defilade, she had to let the shield go. Two Turians slammed into the ground next to her, only one was still alive.

She knew it was suicidal to remain in one position, even if it felt more dangerous to drag herself to her feet and keep running. When she glanced over the lip of her cover, she saw Shepard's red armour almost twenty metres ahead. The Commander was waving her arm, urging the Turians forward. Every so often she would pause to fire several shots from the assault rifle in her hands.

"Get up, T'Soni," she growled against gritted teeth.

With a wrench of effort, Liara tore herself away from the comfort of the earth and moved forward – dragging the surviving Turian beside her up as well. He looked slightly affronted to be out-soldiered by an asari and moved quickly. She drew her SMG as opposed to the Carnifex as the chaos made aiming properly next to impossible.

What followed were some of the most hellish minutes of her life. Even after Liara had made her way across the open expanse and into the cool, damp silence of the ruins beyond, she could still hear the pounding of artillery in her ears. It thumped in time with her heart beat – both pulsing to the intense rhythm of battle. The company paused only long enough to take stock of their losses in the frantic dash across the LZ. Up ahead Shepard was scanning her squad, but her eyes locked with Liara's for barely a second. It was more than enough time for a sense of relief at finding the other unharmed to pass between them.

Leaving almost half a dozen wounded Turians behind, the small company made their way quickly and efficiently through the ruins. They encountered sporadic but determined resistance from Cerberus. Although the enemy positions were well fortified with shield generators, the bulk of the firepower came from automated turrets. The Cerberus personnel themselves were falling back. It could only mean one thing – the bomb was armed and counting down to detonation. With obviously very little time remaining, Shepard pushed them all hard.

"Commander, there's the bomb!" Victus yelled after they had cleared out the latest pocket of Cerberus troops.

Following the line of the Lieutenant's outstretched arm, Liara looked at the massive structure up ahead. It was very clearly Turian in design – angular and purpose-like. With the remaining Turians fanning out in a protective perimeter, Liara joined Shepard, Garrus and Victus in climbing to the top of the control platform.

Victus immediately set to work at the console. "I believe the safest way to deactivate it is to remove the trigger, Commander."

Shepard leaned over the console and gave a sharp nod. "Makes sense - no trigger, no boom."

The Turian rapped out a few more commands and shook his head, then tried again. He gave a grunt of annoyance. "Cerberus has set up a firewall around the trigger mechanism."

Meanwhile, from their vantage points, Liara and Garrus were scanning the surrounding terrain. The cry went up from one of the Turians on the perimeter first. Cerberus were back in force, and they obviously weren't pleased that someone was tampering with the bomb.

"We've got mechs incoming!" one of them yelled.

His words were punctuated effectively by the whine of an incoming missile. It slammed harmlessly off-target, but the danger was clear enough. The command console was hopelessly exposed to enemy fire.

"I need time to create a bypass!" Victus hissed urgently.

"You've got it!" Shepard responded quickly. "Liara, Garrus, on me."

"Right with you, Shepard," Garrus nodded in agreement.

"Ready," Liara heard her own voice sound in her ears. She sounded far more confident than she felt.

She slipped down off the side of the platform just behind Shepard. They collected the remainder of the Turians, Brake and Duquesne and pressed to meet the threat. Already she could see shuttles dropping Cerberus troopers and Centurions with the obvious aim of stopping them before they could disarm the bomb. For a few moments there was a dry fear in her mouth, but it lasted only as long as it took to summon up a mass effect field and throw her first stasis bubble. She didn't stop to stare at the Cerberus trooper trapped within it, merely fired a single shot from her pistol. His head exploded with brutal, accurate efficiency and the battle was on.

The ruins kept everything within relatively close quarters. With her mouth scoured by dust, Liara had to keep her senses at their sharpest. It was hot, fast and incredibly violent. She heard the cries of both humans and Turians as they killed each other. Once she turned to fire at a shape moving behind her only to discover it was Shepard.

With no heavy weapons, it took their combined arms fire and abilities to bring down the two mechs that Cerberus threw against them. With Garrus effectively overloading their shields, Liara threw biotic combos as rapidly as she could. The muffled explosions echoed off the stonework around them. All the while she kept moving, dodging in an out of cover as the Atlas' fired off missiles and used heavy cannon to try and mow them down.

The fury of the fight taxed her abilities severely to the point where she paused for longer than should have at one point. Her heart was pounding with exertion; she needed just a moment to grab her breath. A moment was too much to ask for in the heat of combat. She saw only the flash of a blade out of the corner of her eye. She whirled and found herself face to face with a Centurion. Another flash, a dark shape moved in front of her, seemingly flying. The orange glow of an omni-blade clashed with the Centurion's, successfully deflecting it. The omni-blade then pierced armour. The Centurion let out a gurgling cry before dropping backwards. Shepard turned to look at her as she retracted her omni-blade, her face blackened with dirt, streaked with beads of sweat.

"Are you alright?" she asked, reaching out and placing a firm hand on Liara's shoulder.

Liara could only nod as she clutched at her aching ribs. Even the weight of Shepard's touch felt as though it was driving her downwards. _Perhaps I wasn't ready_ , she thought, feeling foolish that she had even made the assumption that she was  an asset to the team despite her condition. Still, that had been Shepard's assumption too.

"Shepard-" she began.

"We wouldn't have had a snowball's chance in hell of bringing down those mechs without you, Liara," Shepard said quickly, her voice thick with sincerity.

Liara watched as Shepard's gaze burned – figuratively and literally – with the intensity of combat. The implants beneath her skin seemed almost to pulse in synch with the heaving motion of her chest. She looked fierce, almost indestructible. Yet at the same time Liara saw the woman that she loved. In that moment, she experienced the fierce desire to wrap her fingers around Shepard's neck and kiss her. Her fingers even twitched involuntarily. However, before she could make such a move, she was forced to raise her Carnifex and fire two shots at a trooper who was raising his own weapon to mow them down. Shepard whirled her head around quickly, a determined expression on her face as though she was annoyed at letting her guard down. Her gaze wandered to the bomb and widened when she saw Lieutenant Victus was no longer at the console. Instead he was halfway up its side, scaling its superstructure.

"Shit, what the hell is Victus playing at?" Liara heard Shepard say from beside her.

Liara unhelpfully shrugged in reply. She followed Shepard as they ran towards the bomb. Thankfully, with both Atlases down, the Cerberus attempts to stop them tampering with the bomb seemed to have been thwarted. Their squad was more than capable of mopping up any remaining threats.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Shepard yelled up at the Turian.

"They knew we'd try to bypass their firewall, the bomb is going to detonate!" Victus yelled, continuing to climb. "The only way to stop it is to remove the detonators manually!"

Liara and Shepard watched as he clambered up onto the bomb's core. Suddenly shots rang out, slamming into the Lieutenant's shoulder and knocking him to his knees. Their trained eyes searched for the source, falling on a figure clad in Cerberus armour emerging from the ruins to their right. Whoever it was had a pistol levelled towards Victus and was firing, trying to bring him down even as the Turian bravely struggled back to his feet.

"Oh no you don't!" Shepard hissed, propelling herself forward.

"Shepard!" Liara exclaimed pointlessly.

The speed at which Shepard covered the ground left her far behind. There was nothing she could do to stop the Commander throwing herself bodily at the trooper. She watched in horror as Shepard tackled them and they both went flying from a nearby ledge. As a wounded Victus struggled to rip the detonators out of the bomb, Liara pushed herself as hard as she could.

Down below Shepard hit the ground hard, her armour absorbed most of the shock, but it left her stunned for a few moments. Well aware that there was still a hostile threat in her immediate vicinity, she was struggling to her feet before her head cleared. Dazed, with her vision clouded, she saw a slender figure ahead of her. She saw the unmistakable head crests of an asari.

"Liara?" she asked as the figure neared.

There was a harsh laugh in response. Shepard instantly knew that this asari wasn't Liara. Liara's laugh could never convey such intense hatred. Shepard continued to try and stand, shaking her head in an effort to clear it.

"Commander Shepard I presume?" the asari asked.

Shepard had moved into a crouch by the time her vision cleared enough for her to see the approaching asari clearly. She was wearing a modified version of the armour worn by the Cerberus troopers, it fit her slender frame and left her head bare. She would have been beautiful, even for an asari, if her features were not twisted into a contemptuous sneer. Like some asari Shepard had met, her light blue complexion bore a number of geometrical facial markings on her forehead and at her temples.

"You know me," Shepard responded, trying to keep her voice calm as she searched for her weapon and studied her surroundings. Unfortunately she had lost her Mattock in the fall and a grab for the Phalanx at her waist would have been too obvious. The asari however had a pistol in her hand. It would only take her a split second to level it towards her. "Yet I don't think I've had the pleasure."

The asari grinned. "Trust me, Commander, the pleasure is going to be all mine."

As the asari walked towards her, Shepard noted that they had fallen down into an underground chamber of sorts. Above and behind her, she could see the bomb which Victus was no doubt still trying to disarm.

"I am Isini Aegir," she said, an odd sort of pride in her tone.

"Am I supposed to have heard of you?" Shepard asked. It was difficult to keep a small amount of derision from creeping into her voice, especially to see an asari working for Cerberus. "Why are you wearing that uniform? Cerberus doesn't exactly have an asari-friendly agenda."

"They're friendly enough when they want something," Aegir replied, cocking her head to one side and studying Shepard as though she was an interesting specimen. "When Dr T'Soni handed over your rotting corpse for example."

"And what do they want from you?" Shepard asked.

"They want what I can deliver to them," she said, her eyes devouring Shepard.

"Which is?"

Aegir laughed loudly and replied simply, "You."

Shepard snorted. "You think you can take me back to Cerberus alive?"

Another laugh, this time slightly manic in its intensity. "Who said anything about needing you alive, Commander Shepard? In fact, I'd much rather you were dead."

 _Shit, stuck in a hole with a psychotic asari_ , Shepard thought. She was still only crouching. It offered her a slight advantage if Aegir thought she was more seriously hurt than she was. In actual fact, her vision had completely cleared and she was fine save for minor aches.

Aegir was staring intently at her. "I don't really understand what she sees in you. Even for a human you're not all that attractive." She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I suppose there is some fire in you and that has to count for something. Well, it won't count for much after you're dead-"

The mass effect field left Aegir's fingers almost as soon as she had created it. Shepard could only watch - almost in slow-motion - as it slammed into a barrier before it could hit her. As the two biotic fields clashed danced before her eyes, Shepard saw Liara moving in front of her, arms outstretched as she kept up a protective barrier.

"It is none of your business what I see in Shepard," Liara replied calmly, obviously having overheard Aegir's comment.

"Dr Liara T'Soni," Aegir said as though greeting an old friend.

"Do I know you?"

"You should," Aegir said bluntly.

As Liara frowned in response, there was the sudden sound of tearing metal from above and behind them. Shepard craned her neck upwards to see the Turian bomb shudder for a few moments before plunging downwards. Her jaw dropped in horror as she watched a humanoid shape fall beneath it – Lieutenant Victus. As flames erupted from the falling bomb and debris began raining down towards them, Liara dropped to her knees and poured as much energy and concentration as she could into the barrier protecting her and Shepard. She felt several rocks slam into it, draining its strength with each successive strike. Her eyes closed and her teeth were gritted with the intense effort it took to maintain. Beside her she felt Shepard's comforting presence, giving her some measure of extra strength.

A terrible scream joined in with the chaos of the earth falling around them.

Just as she felt her barrier being to waver, on the verge of faltering, the rumbling in the wake of the bomb's destruction ceased. Liara realised the scream was her own. Her throat raw and hoarse, it died into a whisper as her barrier collapsed. The dust enveloped them both in a sudden rush. Her chest heaved uncontrollably as she sank to her hands and knees.

 _I have to get up,_ she thought, tasting nothing but dust in her mouth. That asari was out there somewhere. Liara remembered seeing the yellow Cerberus logo on her armour. She had not given it much thought at the time, but now it was all she could dwell on. She remembered how her own dealings with the shadowy organisation had left her feeling soiled in some way. Anything she had done to inadvertently help them in their work had been only for Shepard. It was selfish, but even if she had to do it all over again, she wouldn't change a thing. Her Shepard was right beside her - an impossibility without Cerberus' resources. Her hand darted out, feeling in the murk for any sign of Shepard. She encountered only dirt and stone.

"Shep..." Liara's shoulders were racked by coughs the moment after she opened her mouth. It was a mistake to try and speak. She coughed uncontrollably she tried to expel the dust from her dry mouth.

There were sudden footsteps right in front of her. By the time she heard them it was too late to react. She only saw the asari's face at the last moment. A bloodied, angry sneer filled her gaze in the moments before she was hit by a force that sent her flying backwards through the air. Liara only had time to utter a pathetic shriek before her body slammed against a hard surface. It instantly felt as though someone had jumped on her chest and forced all the air out of her lungs. She saw nothing but dust as she fell forward except for the last second when the earth reached up and knocked her out cold.

In the midst of the dust cloud, Shepard was torn between a mixture of fear and elation. The fact that she was still alive meant that Victus had been successful in ripping the detonators from the bomb. Liara's barrier would have provided no protection at all from the massive blast had it detonated. However somewhere in the murk the Cerberus asari was still waiting to tear her apart molecule by molecule. It seemed too much to hope that she had perished when the bomb fell. As she struggled to her feet she heard the sharp scream from Liara. The sound both chilled her to the core and energised her. Shepard stood and drew the Phalanx from its holster.

She tried to ignore the dust the clogged her mouth and eyes but it made breathing and seeing extremely difficult. A shape moved in front of her but Shepard could not bring herself to fire. "Liara?"

A hand burst into her vision. She squeezed off two blind shots from the Phalanx but both obviously missed as blue fingers wrapped around her neck. It wasn't physical strength that ripped her from her feet, but rather a biotic field that trussed her up. Aegir's face emerged. Despite the fact that she was bleeding profusely from a head wound, the asari was smiling.

"I'm not your little toy, Commander Shepard," she growled.

Suddenly, still caught in the field, Shepard found herself being slammed up against a pillar to her right. The first blow made her drop the pistol. Her shields flickered but held, and she was merely dazed. The second and third felt like she was being shaken like a rag doll. Aegir let her fall and she dropped to the ground like a stone. Despite this, Shepard was on her feet again in less than a second. The asari was surprised by her resilience and had only enough time to throw Shepard backwards in the moment before her fist connected. It was a weak field and she was only knocked onto her back instead of being thrown through the air. The second, however, was not. Shepard felt the warp field hit her shields and instantly begin tearing them apart. They flickered desperately, on the verge of collapsing altogether. Gritting her teeth, she again struggled to her feet and tried to throw herself into the dust cloud before the asari could hit her again. She wasn't fast enough. When the throw detonated the warp field, the resulting explosion felt like it had torn her ear drums. All the air was driven out of her lungs and she collapsed instantly.

Shepard lay in the dirt, eyes closed, her mind racing. The biotic explosion would have killed an unshielded soldier, as it was, it should have killed her. She knew her shields had been on the verge of failing, yet she was still breathing. The only explanation had to be the new armour set she wore. With a silent thanks to her lucky colour scheme, she trained her ears on her surroundings to listen for the approaching asari. As she did, she moved her hand discreetly to her waist and felt for her remaining grenade. She didn't have to wait long. The footsteps were followed by another field wrapping around her, lifting her from the earth. Shepard kept her body limp and her eyes closed even as she felt herself being moved. Judging from the direction in which she was being carried, she surmised that Aegir was carrying her towards the pit into which the bomb had fallen. No doubt she intended to cast her down into the still burning fires below.

"This is going to be extremely satisfying," the asari murmured to herself, her tone dripping with vehemence.

"You have no idea," Shepard growled as her eyes snapped open.

In one swift movement, Shepard drew the pin out of the grenade and threw her weight forward. Her entire body weight slammed into Aegir before she could raise a barrier. As the asari lost her footing and slipped backwards, Shepard threw the grenade down with her. For a split second Aegir managed to seize Shepard around her wrist in an attempt to drag her downwards. However her fingers could find no secure purchase on the grimy body armour. Shepard then threw herself backwards, away from the direction of the blast. She tumbled only a short down a small slope before the incendiary grenade detonated in a ball of flame. As she was enveloped in another thick cloud of dust, several more chunks of falling rock slamming into Shepard's unshielded body. Something swiped her savagely across the side of her head and for a few moments everything went dark.

When Shepard came to, the side of her head burned fiercely. It stung at her probing touch, and a quick look at her fingers confirmed that she was bleeding profusely.

"Shepard!" Liara's weak but desperate voice pierced the dust and slight rumble of fallen rock as it settled.

 _Thank fuck she's alright._ "I'm fine," Shepard tried to reply in a solid voice, but it came out sounding as tired as she felt.

She heard Liara's footsteps scrambling around somewhere above her. With a determined effort, she picked herself up and began scrambling up the slope on all fours. Liara found her before she made it to the top. Shepard was again faced with outstretched blue fingers, except this time she reached for them eagerly. Liara helped her up the last foot or so and she flopped over and sat down heavily on her backside. She turned her head and studied Liara. Thankfully Liara appeared unharmed save for a few scrapes and cuts.

"What happened to her?" Liara asked anxiously.

"Used my last grenade," Shepard replied, thumbing her hand in the direction of the still settling rubble in the pit behind her.

Liara cast her eyes in the direction of Shepard's handiwork. "If we weren't so busy fighting for our lives, I would have stopped to reflect how strange the whole situation was. An asari working for Cerberus?"

"Yeah, I know," Shepard remarked, staring down into the pit. "More important things first - are you alright."

"I should be asking you that question," Liara replied quickly, crouching down at her side.

She gently took hold of Shepard's head – one hand on her forehead and the other at the nape of her neck – and examined the wound she had received. As Shepard gratefully relaxed into the warmth of her hands, she thought that the asari's touch was the only treatment she needed. For just a second she allowed her head to sag and lean against Liara's chest. It was a position she could have stayed in for an indeterminate amount of time, but she soon straightened.

"It is not too deep," Liara murmured gratefully. She reluctantly withdrew her hands from Shepard's head. "I think you will live."

"That's good to know," Shepard replied. "Help me up will you?"

Liara took hold of her outstretched hand and they stood together. Her head swam slightly but a few moments later it was perfectly clear. Aside from the cut to her head, she'd escaped the encounter with the strange asari relatively unscathed. She had almost forgotten how difficult it was to fight a biotic when all you had was a gun and a couple of grenades – or in her case, one grenade.

"Did you know her?" Shepard asked Liara as she scanned the ceiling above them for a way out.

Liara shook her head. "I have never seen her in my life...and yet, there were elements of her that seemed familiar."

"Well, she seemed to know you," Shepard added. "And have some sort of vindictive grudge. No need to worry about it now. Bitch is well and truly toast under all that lot."

"Shepard!" a gruff yell from above caught both their attentions.

Shepard turned her head in the direction of the shout. She saw Garrus peering down at them - Tuchanka's murky light framing his silhouette.

She uttered a grateful sigh, being trapped underground wasn't high on her list of most enjoyable pastimes. "Bomb destroyed, Cerberus thwarted – I'd say that definitely earns me a one way ticket straight to bed."

Liara simply nodded in agreement as she followed her Commander to the spot where Garrus and Private Brake were scrambling down to help them out.

An hour later, the shuttle ride back to the _Normandy_ was conducted largely in silence. After suffering the attentions of both Garrus and Liara in applying liberal amounts of medigel on her scalp, Shepard had retreated to a corner where she could prop her weary body in a corner. A few times she opened them to catch Liara staring at her. Their gazes would hold for a second, before Liara dragged herself away and feigned interest in whatever Garrus was talking to her about.

Then it would be Shepard's turn to open her eyes just the tiniest fraction and stare right back. Even in the aftermath of combat, with her white body armour now dull shades of black and brown, Liara was stunning. When Shepard's eyelids slid closed once again, she could still see the asari – although this time without the dirty armour altogether. She fell asleep with her cheeks burning and a small smile on her face.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Crisp white sheets and a soft pillow were all Shepard could think about as she divested herself of the life-saving Kassa Fabrication armour as quickly as possible. She didn't care about anything else as she stripped down to the full length body suit she wore beneath it, discarding each piece haphazardly onto the table in front of her. It was only when she saw Liara looking at her strangely that she stopped. Shepard quickly realised that she had been intent on stripping everything off in the shuttle bay to the point where she had half unzipped her body suit. She was struggling to do it back up when the asari moved over to her with a small smile on her face. Even though a glimpse of her bra and naked stomach was hardly going to do anything for someone who had seen everything, Shepard felt her cheeks burn. Her fumbling fingers refused to work on the zipper. The more effort she put into trying to force the damn thing to move, the more resistance she encountered. Her fingers stopped fighting with it only when a pair of warm blue hands wrapped around them and squeezed gently.

"As appreciative as the other marines in here would be if you stripped off in front of them, I do not think it would be the wisest course of action. You are their Commander after all," Liara said gently as she prised Shepard's hands away from the zip.

The asari then unzipped the thick garment further. It was a simple action, but one that brought Shepard's tired mind crashing back to those countless times that Liara had performed the same action as she eagerly stripped her clothes off. The thoughts ended abruptly the second that Liara had unstuck the zip. She quickly refastened it all the way up to Shepard's neck.

Shepard swallowed loudly. "Thanks."

Liara gave her a soft, almost mischievous smile in return. "My pleasure."

The desperate longing for Liara's touch followed soon after. However her fingers lingered on the zip for only a few seconds longer than necessary before she let go. Out of sheer necessity, Shepard took a few steps backwards to remove the temptation to start stripping her clothes off again. Her awkward steps took her straight into the path of an ammunition crate. Her heel caught and she stumbled, but mercifully did not fall altogether. Liara moved to reach out before she fell, but stopped short of touching her when she straightened.

"Please tell me you are going straight to bed?" the asari asked in a stern tone.

"It's my number one priority right now," Shepard replied, even as her belly rumbled demandingly.

Liara nodded. "Good. I will follow up with the Primarch for you."

Shepard slapped her forehead. "Shit, I need to be the one to tell him about his son!"

"Am I not your Executive Officer, Shepard?" Liara asked calmly.

"Well…yes-"

"Then like I said, I will speak to the Primarch on your behalf. Now get to bed, before I wrap you up in a biotic field and carry you there."

Shepard briefly considered being deliberately recalcitrant just so Liara could truss her up. She soon realised that would be just as inappropriate as stripping off in front of her crew.

"Sweet dreams," Liara called out as she moved away.

 _I hope so_ , Shepard thought. Her dreams had been anything but sweet of late. However given that she fully planned to fall asleep with nothing but thoughts of Liara on her mind, she had high hopes for an improvement.

Shepard did not intentionally want to break her promise to Liara, but as soon as she entered the lift, she found Specialist Traynor waiting for her.

"Commander!"

"You've got the ten seconds it takes for the elevator to reach my quarters," Shepard said as she entered the lift. "After that I am off duty for a solid six hours."

"I am sorry for the interruption, but I thought you might want to hear the latest news from Earth," Traynor explained as the doors closed on them.

Shepard's stomach felt like lead. "Are things taking a turn for the worse?"

"Perhaps," the Specialist replied carefully. "Admiral Anderson has been reported as missing in action."

 _Not Anderson_ , Shepard thought as she slumped backwards against the wall of the elevator. "What happened?"

"We don't have much unfortunately, but the unit he was with was involved in a rearguard action this morning. He never reached the rendezvous point. The Reapers overran their previous position making any search impossible," Traynor explained . "I am sorry, Commander, I know you and he were close."

"I won't be giving up on the Admiral just yet, Specialist," Shepard added after a few moments of silence. "He's a tough son of a bitch."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened at the Captain's quarters. Shepard looked longingly at her door. Just beyond it lay her bed. She stepped out, leaving Traynor in the elevator.

"Will you be alright?" Traynor added tentatively. "If you would like…some company?"

 _Shit, I forgot all about that_ , Shepard remembered their previous exchange and the fact that she may have deliberately flirted with the young officer on some level. With the prospect of a relationship with Liara back on the cards, casual sex was well and truly out of the question - unless it was with Liara of course.

"No thank you, Specialist." Shepard did her best to keep her tone stern, yet light. "You can ensure that no one disturbs me however."

"Understood, ma'am," Traynor nodded professionally. She also responded with a sharp salute, something Shepard could not remember her ever doing in her presence.

A small smile almost creased her face when she walked into her quarters to see her bed waiting patiently for her. Shepard bypassed everything - her private message terminal, the fish in her tank and the shower that she probably desperately needed – and made her way straight to the bed. Now that she was alone, she happily stripped off her body suit and tossed the sweaty garment on the floor. Clad in just a bra and a pair of shorts, she prepared to swan dive into that haven of linen.

An angry beep interrupted her mid-dive. Shepard aborted the attempt and spun on her heels just as she heard raised voices outside her door. She was trying to recognise them when it suddenly opened without further warning and Mordin Solus strode in waving a data pad. He was followed by a mortified Samantha Traynor, whose face reddened even further when she saw the Commander standing in her underwear.

"Commander I am so sorry! I told him you weren't to be disturbed but he bypassed the door before I could stop him!" she apologised in a panicked voice.

"This had better be fucking good, Mordin," Shepard growled, folding her arms across her half-naked chest.

"Cure ready, Shepard," Mordin said quickly – without any hint of apology. "Would suggest you wear clothes."

 _Shit._ It was hard for Shepard to feel any elation at the news even though it was the breakthrough they had all been waiting for. _It's about now that I wish I was paid overtime_. "Traynor, call my squad together. I'll see them in the war room in five."

"Commander, you're exhausted…" Traynor began.

Shepard sighed. "One way or another, I'll sleep when this war is over."

 


	15. Memories of Akuze

**Tuchanka, Aralakh System**

Although the tight confines of a Krogan ATV was no more uncomfortable than an Alliance drop shuttle, Shepard found sleep next to impossible. There were too many thoughts going through her mind.

First and foremost was the disturbing conversation she'd had with the Salarian Dalatrass immediately before their departure. It had been clear all along that the Salarian government was desperate to prevent a cure for the genophage, but the extent of that desperation was only just becoming apparent. Via comm. link the Dalatrass had calmly informed her that Salarian STG had sabotaged the Shroud – the sole remaining tower that had been part of a network that had controlled Tuchanka's atmosphere. Of course the Salarians had long since realised that it was the obvious medium for the delivery of a cure. If dispersed with the sabotage still in place, the cure would be rendered completely effectual. It was the perfect plan.

_Perfectly cuntish_ , Shepard thought bitterly. She had invested herself in the cure, risked her life to see it happen.

Shepard knew absolutely nothing about Krogan mating habits – and she suspected that she didn't want to know – but it was clear on some level that Wrex and Eve sincerely appreciated one another's company. The signs lay in the constant bickering, Eve's tendency to call Wrex out on everything he said and his grudging acceptance of her authority.

Only an hour earlier Eve had dispelled a potential blood bath at the meeting between the Krogan leaders. Now Wrex and Wreav – historically bitter rivals – were working together for the good of their race. Such grievances laid to rest further reminded Shepard that she was a part of something that went beyond the war with the Reapers. If the cure worked then the Krogan would have the mother of all incentives to win the war – a future.

The train of thought inevitably led Shepard to cast her gaze toward her own 'incentive.' Liara was sitting on the other side of the ATV, sandwiched between two very pleased looking Krogan. When Liara saw Shepard staring, she flashed a reassuring smile. Shepard was content to return the smile, however she was quite sure they weren't at the stage in their rekindled relationship where she could stare unashamedly at the asari for long periods of time. Plus there was the added difficulty of being in public, and she had important matters to consider.

Just getting to the Shroud was made next to impossible with the alert that a Reaper Destroyer was perched in the midst of the Hollows – the sacred Krogan site surrounding the Shroud. Their plan was simple - as well as the Krogan ground support, the Turians were providing a wing of fighters to attack the Reaper from the air. It was pure brute force. Shepard was unsure whether it would be enough, but it was all they had.

"Are we really doing this?"

Shepard turned to look at Garrus. Her Turian friend's expression was slightly worried. She didn't blame him, Garrus had been raised in a Turian society that fully supported the genophage. _Holy shit, we are going to cure the genophage_ , the thought had already crossed Shepard's mind more than once.

"We're doing this, Garrus," she replied in a firm voice.

"Getting nervous, Turian?" Wrex boomed loudly.

"Only about living in a world populated by your offspring," Garrus retorted good-humouredly.

"Haha!" Wrex laughed. "They'll be handsome sons of bitches that's for sure!"

"If that most unlikely event occurs, I would like to think that you'll clean up your language around them," Eve added coldly, giving Wrex a baleful glare.

Wrex mumbled something in reply that might have been a reluctant agreement. Garrus laughed loudly at Wrex's expense. Shepard couldn't resist a grin of her own and another glance at Liara. She couldn't possibly comment on good-looking Krogan, but she did know a thing or two about asari. She knew without a doubt that if Liara had children, they would be among the most beautiful asari in the galaxy – second only to their mother. When Liara caught her staring again, she quickly looked away with an embarrassed flush.

The talk of Krogan children had brought the Dalatrass' suggestion back to mind. It went without saying that a brilliant scientist like Mordin would detect the sabotage as easily as breathing. Shepard had not even considered how she would prevent that because she had absolutely no intention of allowing the sabotage to go undetected. She was not risking her life and the lives of those around her for a lie.

"Mordin?" she turned to the Salarian sitting next to her. "There's something you need to know about the Shroud mechanism. It won't work."

"Commander?" It was Eve who spoke up, her tone worried and suspicious.

"Salarian STG sabotaged it in order to render any cure completely ineffective. The Dalatrass told me before we left the _Normandy_."

"Not out of any goodwill on her part I bet!" Wrex growled. "Double-crossing bitch!"

Mordin frowned and scrubbed nervously at his chin. "Should be simple to compensate for sabotage prior to dispersal. I assure you, cure will work. Need to make up for duplicity of other Salarians."

"You don't need to make up for anything, lizard-face...sorry, Mordin," Wrex nodded towards him. "You've been a good friend to the Krogan. This won't be forgotten when we wipe out the rest of the little lizardy bastards."

Eve gave him a sound whack across the side of his head plate. "Shut up, Wrex. No one wants to hear your opinions." She then turned to give Shepard a level stare. "Thank you, Commander, you could easily have deceived us and gained support from the Salarians."

Shepard could not deny that Salarian scientific expertise would have been invaluable in constructing the Crucible, but the price was too high.

"Bah! It's Shepard!" Wrex added. "She's an honorary Krogan!"

"Thanks, Wrex," Shepard replied, trying to stifle a grin. "That means a lot to me."

"Does this mean you're going to start head-butting people?" Garrus asked with a wink.

"No, I'll leave that to Liara. She's the one who's actually quarter Krogan." Shepard couldn't resist sharing what Aethyta had told her. She looked up and gave Liara a playful wink.

"I knew there was a reason I liked her so much!" Wrex chuckled. "Hey Liara, we might even be related!"

"You are vile, Shepard," Liara said, but her eyes were sparkling as she said it.

The good-humour inside the ATV was smothered almost instantly when it ground to a sudden and violent halt. Shepard was thrown hard against the metal partition beside her. She slammed an impatient fist against the back of the driver's seat ahead of her.

"We've got a schedule to keep here, what's the hold up?" she demanded. Their approach was precisely coordinated with the Turian air strike, they didn't have time to sit around and twiddle their thumbs.

"Don't know," was the driver's eloquently useless reply.

With a grunt of frustration, Shepard made her way towards the door, determined to sort it out for herself.

"I'll come with you, Shepard," Wrex stood.

"Stay here with Eve, we're not going to be sitting around long enough for us all to go wandering around," Shepard advised.

Liara made to get up as Shepard walked past, but a quick motion of her hand kept the asari in her seat. Although the company would have been nice, Shepard didn't think it wise to leave the ATV at all. Shepard lowered herself out of the exit and into Tuchanka's harsh air. A quick glance ahead and behind confirmed that the entire convoy had stopped. There was a small group of Krogan gathered ahead of the lead vehicle and this was where she headed at a quick jog. The need to ask what was going on was made entirely redundant by the fact that a section of the road ahead of them had been completely wiped out. There was a sharp drop in front of them, almost a hundred feet deep. The ATVs weren't going anywhere.

"Shit!" was the only response Shepard felt she could make in the circumstances.

Her heart sank further when overhead she heard the unmistakable sound of incoming fighters. Shepard looked up to see the first of the Turian fighters swooping down towards the Reaper.

"This is Turian Wing Artimec!" came the static-filled announcement over her omni-tool. "We are engaging-"

"Negative Artimec-leader!" Shepard interrupted. "Cancel your attack run, we're not ready down here!"

"I can't do that, Commander," the Turian pilot replied. "Our approach is set, we're going in!"

Shepard watched in horror as the tiny Turian fighters closed in on the Reaper. Without the ground support engaging the Reaper at the same time, the full force of its firepower would be brought to bear on the aerial attack. The fighters would be cut to ribbons.

In disciplined unison, the Turian pilots opened fire. Tiny tracers snaked their way towards the massive target. Upon contact, the Reaper erupted in a ball of flame. Any initial hope of a quick victory soon dissipated when the flames subsided and it emerged unscathed. As the Turians opened up with their second barrage, the Reaper responded with its powerful cannon. The harsh red light struck out, instantly slicing two fighters in half. A second merciless blast sent another fighter spinning downwards in an uncontrolled descent. It exploded in the ruins of the Hollows.

"They are going to get slaughtered!" Shepard hissed to herself through gritted teeth, helpless to do anything about the situation.

She watched as another of the fighters was hit with a glancing blow. Rather than be destroyed instantly, the unfortunate pilot now found himself encased in an uncontrollable metal coffin as it continued on a unwavering trajectory. It only took Shepard a moment to realise that it was headed almost directly for the Krogan convoy. With the speed of its descent, she had only a few moments to scramble out of its path. She was sheltering behind the wheel of one of the ATVs when the fighter slammed into the ruins that towered over them. With a rumble, one of the wide columns toppled downwards until it came to a precarious halt spanning the gap in the road. Shepard stared at it in disbelief for a second – it seemed almost too good to be true.

"This is Shepard!" she barked over the comm. an instant later. "Get the convoy moving now!"

As she scrambled back towards her own transport, the lead vehicles began rumbling over the makeshift bridge. The ATV was already moving when she reached the entry, Wrex's meaty hand reaching down towards her. Narrowly avoiding a few tyre marks on her armour, Shepard seized his hand and was dragged upwards. She was barely inside when the ATV mounted the fallen column and the driver gunned the engine. Balanced above the still open hatch, Shepard could hear the stonework protesting beneath the weight of the vehicle. Wrex reached down and yanked the hatch closed. Breathing a sigh of relief, Shepard swiped her glove across her sweaty brow.

"Squads five and six didn't make it!" the driver yelled back over his shoulder. "The bridge gave out beneath them."

Wrex clamped a firm hand down on her shoulder. "You had to get us moving, Shepard."

Shepard nodded. It was war, sacrifices had to be made – and yet she felt for the Krogan who had died under her command. More soldiers to join the growing list of those dead because of her decisions in combat.

Despite the jolting and bucking of the ATV as it raced towards the Shroud, Shepard managed to make her way to the cab. From the window she could watch as the Turians continued their valiant but futile fight against the Reaper.

"Artimec leader, what's your status?" she asked.

"We've already suffered fifty percent losses up here, Commander," was the reply. "I'm not even sure we're making a dent in the bastard."

"We're almost there-"

"You'll never make it through, those ATVs don't have the fire power either," was the dejected advice.

Although she wasn't about to admit the same thing to the beleaguered Turian, Shepard had sinking feeling that their whole plan was flawed. They were trying to go up against a Reaper, they simply had nothing that could take it on – or at least get it away from the Shroud.

"What do you want me to do, Commander?" the Krogan driver asked her eagerly. "I can take us straight up against that thing with pleasure!"

"No, hold up here. We need a better plan," Shepard ordered him.

With the resulting snort telling her exactly he thought of her caution, the driver radioed ahead to bring the convoy to another halt.

"What's up?" Wrex asked as she made her way back into the passenger compartment.

"We're missing something," Shepard said to her squad. "There's no way our ATVs are going to be able to slip past that Reaper, even with the air support. It'll be suicide. We can't take that risk with Eve."

It was Eve herself who was the first to reply – she had just one word for the group. "Kalros."

"Kal…ros?" Shepard frowned.

"Kalros - legend has it that she is the mother of all Thresher Maws, "Eve explained. "The Salarians built the tower in an ancient arena devoted to the worship of Kalros – they thought it would keep people away. Given that no one has faced her and lived to tell the tale, it was probably a wise move on their part-"

"Fucking lizards," Wrex muttered under his breath.

Eve glared at him before continuing, "We summon her to distract the Reaper away from the tower."

"Perfect!" Garrus piped up sarcastically. 'We fight one monster with another. That's crazy talk if ever I've heard it."

Shepard's gaze shifted from Garrus, back to Eve. "Garrus is right, Eve. That plan is slightly…ambitious."

Eve gave her a serious stare, it was clear she considered the plan perfectly viable. "Am I not talking to the same Commander Shepard who faced down Sovereign? Or took a ship through the Omega-4 relay?"

Another voice joined in the discussion. "What else have we got?"

It was Liara's quiet voice of a reason that made Shepard realise it was the only option open to them short of sacrificing everyone in a desperate bid to get Eve and Mordin to the Shroud. Shepard sighed – more than any creature in the galaxy, she feared and loathed Thresher Maws. After the massacre of her unit on Akuze, they'd stalked her nightmares for years. It had taken her almost half a bottle of Krogan brandy to put herself to sleep after her last encounter with one on Tuchanka during Grunt's rite of passage, now she was being asked to purposefully summon one again. While Shepard would go as far as to say she had been anxious before facing down Sovereign, or taking the Normandy through the Omega-4 relay, she had not been terrified.

"Fine," Shepard agreed in a determined tone. "How the hell do we summon Kalros?"

"There are two massive Maw hammers located in the arena," Eve explained. "Activate both and she will come."

"Perfect!" Mordin's excited voice seemed at odds with the situation. "Laboratory nearby, can synthesise cure from Eve while you distract Reaper."

It sounded completely insane. Distracting a Reaper with an enormous subterranean carnivore? It wasn't exactly a tactic that came out of the Alliance Officer's manual. Shepard felt a fleeting touch against the back of her glove. She glanced across to see Liara standing at her side. The asari then drew her Carnifex and slammed in a fresh thermal clip.

"We will get this done," Liara said with a sharp nod.

It was the push Shepard needed. She answered with a nod of her own. "Open up a comm. channel to the other ATVs," Shepard ordered the driver. Once completed, she continued. "Garrus, Wrex, the two of you will make the push for one of the hammers. Liara and I will take the other. Wreav will lead the rest of our Krogan troops and keep the Reaper ground forces distracted, taking out as many as they can to clear a path to the hammers. It's going to be brutal whichever way you look at it so watch each other's backs! Once the hammers are activated, get the fuck out of that arena. We don't want to be down in there when Kalros shows up. Got it?"

A chorus of Krogan battle cries followed her words. In the tight confines of the ATV, Wrex walked up to Shepard and raised his hand. She accepted it in a firm grip and he slapped her back.

"Whatever happens today, Shepard, you will be remembered for what you have done for the Krogan people. No matter what anyone says, you are Krogan and will be celebrated in our coming empire!"

In the resulting shouts of agreement, Liara leaned in close to Shepard and said teasingly, "And I'm only quarter Krogan."

With her fear rapidly dissipating, Shepard was able to manage a grin in response. When Wrex released her, she turned to Liara and studied the asari carefully. Her expression became fixed into a mask of stoic determination, but behind that, in her eyes, Shepard saw the volumes of unspoken emotions struggling to be heard. It was not the time or place. All Shepard could do was to hope that they would have a chance to deal with them another day. Resisting the urge to reach out and cup Liara's cheek, Shepard instead placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

"You'll stay right beside me at every step?" she asked.

"Of course," was Liara's quick, confident reply.

"Don't take any foolish risks or -"

"I promise," Liara interrupted before Shepard could continue. "Shepard, how many battles have I fought with you? You do not need to worry, I know what I am doing."

"And if something happens to me, if I'm wounded, you won't stop?" Shepard asked in a serious voice. "You'll keep running to that hammer without looking back?"

Liara looked down at the floor. "You know I cannot make that promise-"

"Dammit, Liara!" Shepard felt like shaking some sense into her. "I need you to be able to do that."

Liara gave her a level stare in reply. She eventually said, "Could you?"

Shepard let her hand fall back to her side. She couldn't even contemplate the thought of leaving a wounded Liara behind her. It simply wasn't an option. "That's not fair," was all the reply she could manage.

"We will get to the hammer together," Liara said to settle the matter.

Getting to the hammers seemed nothing more than a distant goal for both teams when they disembarked from the ATVs and saw exactly what they were up against. With the colossal, black Reaper dominating the sky above them, the Hollows themselves were practically crawling with Brutes. Shepard drew her Mattock, grateful for her armour piercing mod, and scanned the best route to the hammer on the left of the arena. Wrex, Garrus and Liara fell in beside her.

"There's no way you're going to be able to deal to all those bastards," Wrex advised. "Best bet is to keep your head down and run like hell, let Wreav's men do what they do best."

"Agreed," Shepard nodded. "That Reaper isn't going to give us enough time to do this cautiously."

Dropping down into the arena brought everything into focus for Shepard. While she had never paid much attention to her history books, she had read the stories of gladiators on ancient Earth. While they were pitted against each other or wild animals, she and her men were facing monsters but it was the same essential idea – kill or be killed.

With just a quick glance over her shoulder to check that Wrex and Garrus were setting out in the opposite direction, Shepard hunkered down behind a stone block to wait for Liara. With light, graceful movements the asari made her way down and joined Shepard. Carnifex clutched in one hand, she tucked her body in so closely that Shepard could hear her rapid breaths. Above them both, the Krogan let out guttural battle cries and descended en masse into their own fight. Shepard watched as one opted for a head on attack against a Brute. It was a foolish mistake by a young warrior. With a single swipe of its claw, the Brute batted him away. His squadmates quickly surrounded the Brute and brought it down amidst a hail of shotgun fire. One then ran to help his fallen comrade whose only injury appeared to be his pride.

"We break cover on three," Shepard explained. "We'll try and keep to the higher ground even if that means choosing a route that isn't direct. Okay? One...two...three!"

Shepard rolled over the stone and leapt up onto a nearby rampart. Despite the noise in the arena, she could hear the reassuring sounds of Liara's footsteps directly behind her. As she ran, she was well-aware of the constantly looming shadow of the Reaper above them. While the Reaper's cannon was still focused on the remaining Turian fighters, its insectoid legs stabbing downwards were more than enough headache on their own. All Shepard could do was watch the shadow as she sprinted, detecting its trajectory and altering her path as best she could.

Behind her the shouts and cries of the Krogan began to fade as they moved away from the heart of the fight and closer to the Maw hammer. It all seemed too easy as Shepard ran. If the Krogan could just hold off the ground forces for a few more minutes...

"Shepard!"

A weight slammed into her mid-stride. Shepard fell from the rampart and went crashing down into the dusty arena floor. Rolling over, she realised Liara had pushed her. The reason was apparent only a split second later when a Brute surged in from their right, its claw smashing down into the rampart where she would have been if she had continued on her path. No further conversation was needed as they both scrambled backwards onto another rampart behind them. Shepard paused only long enough to give Liara a hand up before she opened fire with her Mattock. Still in a kneeling position, Liara soon followed suit – alternating biotics with pistol shots aimed at the Brute's head. They were forced to continuously move position in order to stay out of the reach of one of its wild charges. When it finished a charge and tried to reorientate itself, Shepard and Liara would dash to the next position, opening fire again. The combination of weapons fire and biotics eventually brought the creature to its knees, although not before exhausting both of them and delaying their dash for the hammer.

"Shepard!" It was Wrex's voice.

"Go ahead, Wrex," Shepard replied into her comm.

"We've got the first hammer activated, what the hell are you two doing? Stopping for a kiss on the way?"

"Shut up, Wrex. We ran into a Brute. Give us another minute," Shepard replied as she ran.

Her breath came hard and fast as she spoke. However she continued to push herself in a sprint, all the while watching the shadow on the ground. Suddenly she instinctively held out her arm, stopping Liara dead in her tracks. The asari hit at pace and they were both almost knocked forward. A split second later, they were thrown backwards as the Reapers leg pierced the ground directly in front of them. The strike covered them with debris but otherwise they were unharmed.

"Thanks for that," Liara said gratefully.

"Don't mention it," Shepard replied as she propelled Liara back to her feet. "Come on, that must be the hammer up ahead."

At the very edge of the arena was a raised pedestal. It became the single focal point in her vision, occupying her entire will as she strove to cover the ground between it and her as quickly as possible. Even the impending threat of being skewered by the Reaper's leg was pushed from her mind. Nothing mattered beyond making it to the hammer. Taking the steps up to the platform two at a time, Shepard covered the last thirty feet quickly. It was almost impossible to stop her forward momentum when the hammer was in front of her. Practically falling against the hammer when she reached it, Shepard had to catch her breath before she could make her mind work properly. Everything became clear in seconds, the chiselled façade of the hammer sat patiently as it waited for activation. Somewhere below Kalros lurked, like the pulsating heart of Tuchanka – waiting to strike. Before she could think about what she was actually doing, Shepard slammed her palm against the stone. With some initial reluctance, it dropped downwards, gathering speed as it fell. When it hit the earth, a shockwave reverberated outwards, almost knocking them both to the ground.

An eerie silence descended over the arena in the wake of the two hammers being activated. It was punctuated with only sporadic arms fire from the Krogan down in the arena behind them and the odd cry from a wounded Brute.

"How long will this take?" Liara asked, bending over with her hands on her knees in an effort to catch her breath.

Shepard shook her head. "I don't know. I guess that depends on Kalros? Maybe she's busy?"

"I hope for our sake that she is not," Liara replied staring up at the Reaper.

"Let's get back to the rendezvous point," Shepard added. "We need to get out of this arena."

They had barely covered a fraction of the distance when an awful sound rent the air around them. It was so abrasive that Liara covered hers with her hands as she scanned the horizon. She soon realised that the difficulty lay in not being able to pinpoint the direction of the sound. It seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. She willed herself to stop cowering and continue running. It was only when she glanced quickly over her shoulder that she realised Shepard wasn't with her.

"Shepard!" her own cry was almost as tortured as that of the beast closing in on them. She retraced her steps but the Commander was nowhere in sight. "Shepard!"

A flash of red caught her eye between two fallen pillars. She sprinted for it and found Shepard wedged into a low overhang, her knees drawn up to her chest and her hands over her ears. Her face was stark white. Liara fell to her knees in front of her and grabbed one of her hands. Her urgent tug made no progress, Shepard was a dead weight.

Shepard was lost in her past. Each time the Maw screeched it felt as though pins were being driven into her skin. The sound pierced at her senses, effortlessly penetrating the usually solid wall she had built around her mind. It was like a trigger, sparking a decade old memory she had struggled to suppress.

While a part of her was aware of Liara crouching in front of her, able to feel the asari trying to prise her out of her sanctuary, she couldn't respond. Instead she saw the bodies of her squadmates being ripped to pieces. Shepard heard their death screams being drowned out by those of the beasts that were killing them so quickly and efficiently.

At first, buoyed by the strength of one of the Alliance's most elite marine units around her, Shepard had led the fight against the Maws. However their combined weapons fire seemed to be little more than an inconvenience as they continued to sweep forward, surging in and out of their lines. The well disciplined Alliance marines held until their positions were completely decimated and all contact with one another became impossible. From that point it was simply an individual fight to stay alive. Shepard had watched as her commanding officer turned tail and ran like the snivelling coward he was. She'd run too, but with the sole purpose of leading the Maws away from the rest of the Five-Four. One of the fastest in her Academy intake, Shepard was sure she ran faster than she ever had in her life. However it had been for nothing. When she'd reached the LZ, expecting to rendezvous with the rest of the unit, she was the only one who made it. The rest, fifty good marines, were lost.

"Shepard!"

Liara was back, yelling in her face as the angry war cry of Kalros grew louder in her ears. Shepherd buried her face against her knees in an effort to block everything out. A part of her knew she had to run just as fast as she had on Akuze, yet at the same time a voice was telling her that she couldn't outrun a this Maw. This was Kalros, the mother of all Thresher Maws.

Liara heard a gasping sob emerge from her own throat. "By the Goddess, Evan, please get up!"

Forcing herself to remain calm, Liara reached into the overhang and cupped Shepard's cheek, trying to ignore the fact that her own hand was trembling.

"We need to move," she surprised herself with the firm tone of her voice.

Shepard stubbornly shook her head. "I can't, you need to go without-"

"I will not!" Liara interrupted Shepard's weak protest with an abrupt shout. "You are not doing this to me. I am not losing you again. Now on your feet soldier or by the Goddess I will kick the fucking crap out of you!"

When Liara wrapped her fingers around the scruff of Shepard's armour and tugged, to her relief Shepard's body followed. In seconds they were on their feet and running. Liara stayed behind Shepard, prodding her in the back at every opportunity to remind her that she was there and they were getting out of this together. After a minute or so it was hardly necessary, it was all she could do to maintain the same pace as Shepard.

Although looking up was something Shepard knew she shouldn't do, she instinctively lifted her gaze to the Reaper. It too had been drawn to the strange sounds and could not fathom what they were. The resulting blow from the side took it completely unawares. Her jaw open in awe, Shepard watched the vast shape rise from the ground beyond the Hollows and launch itself at the intruder in its realm. Maw and Reaper entwined and fell to the earth as though they were engaged in a wrestling match on an absurdly massive scale.

Their fall shook the ground as Shepard and Liara ran. The ruins within the Hollows began falling down around them. Up ahead, Shepard could see Wrex and Garrus standing on the lip of the arena, urging them to run faster. Shepard didn't think such a thing was possible, her lungs were already threatening to burst from her chestplate. Another shockwave struck the ground when the Reaper opened up on the Maw, cannon trying to slice the creature open. She lost her footing and hit the ground hard. Liara was on her in a split second, dragging her back to her feet before she even had a chance to help herself.

With the arena crumbling behind them, they reached the series of platforms leading up to the ATVs. Taking it in turns to help each other, they scrambled upwards and out of the death trap below.

Two very exhausted individuals collapsed over the final lip and lay gasping. With her face soaked in sweat, Shepard stared down at the behemoths duelling below her as though it was the latest spectator sport. The Reaper had the Maw pinned and was pummelling it mercilessly with its cannon as it writhed in obvious pain. It was at that point that Shepard realised there were creatures she hated more than Thresher Maws – Reapers. The Maw sank back into the protection of the earth, leaving the Reaper standing victorious. Cries of disappointment from the Krogan were cut short only second later when the Maw rocketed upwards behind the Reaper. It slammed in hard and the Reaper went down again, this time however the Maw curled around the black carapace in an unyielding death grip.

Shepard finally looked away, but she could not make her jelly-like legs work well enough to get her onto her feet. She turned to see Liara sitting beside her, face smeared with a layer of gritty dust. She couldn't remember exactly what had happened down in the arena. All that registered were the screams of the Maw and her complete inability to move. Well aware that she was surrounded by Krogan, Shepard felt the red hot pokers of shame plunging into her gut. Her weakness could have killed Liara.

"I'm so sorry you had to do that, Liara," she said quietly.

Liara opened her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by Wrex before she could say a word.

"Shepard, Liara! You made it! Were you two idiots trying to ride Kalros or what?"

"Very funny, Wrex," it was Liara who replied in a business-like tone. "We need to move. No doubt Mordin and Eve will be at the Shroud by now."

"Right you are, Liara," Wrex turned away from them and back to the remainder of his men. "Come on you lot, get your asses in those ATVs!"

Shepard watched their audience leave and felt a measure of relief. Liara stood and she accepted a hand to get to her feet. Once standing, she tried to let her hand fall but Liara held fast.

"An apology is not necessary," Liara said as the rumblings of battle faded. She pressed Shepard's hand against her chest. "What happened down there does not change the fact that you are the bravest individual I know. All it did was make you more real...and it made me realise that I cannot live whatever life I have left without you in it."

"Liara-" Shepard whispered.

"By the Goddess let me finish. I need to say this," Liara said even though she knew they could not spare the time. She needed only a moment longer. "Evan, I love you."

Shepard pressed her lips against Liara's gloved hand and tried to suppress the accompanying smile. "I love you, Liara."

"What does this mean?" Liara asked with a slight frown.

_Marriage, little blue children...no, it has to be one step at a time. Although I don't know how to take things slowly though._ Shepard shook her head. "I don't know, I guess-"

"Hanar's balls, Shepard!" Wrex yelled from the ATV's hatch. "What the fuck are you two doing?"

With any hope at further conversation effectively terminated, Shepard gave Liara a last glance before they set off at a run towards the ATV. Curing the genophage was one thing that could not wait.

* * *

 

Shepard cast a worried glance skywards as she ran towards the Shroud Tower in search of Mordin Solus. Starkly contrasted against the mute sky that surrounded it, the Tower's massive surface pulsated and writhed with activity. Even as she watched, several explosions rocketed outwards from the once unyielding structure. It had obviously sustained damage during the fight with the Reaper, possibly irreversible. The question remained as to whether it was still capable of dispersing the cure.

The industrious Salarian was moving rapidly between consoles as she entered the laboratory building at its base, dodging falling debris as she did so. Shepard shielded her face with her arm as a chunk of masonry came crashing down on a nearby console. It erupted in a shower of electrical energy. _Hope those systems weren't important_ , Shepard thought grimly.

"Hello, Shepard," Mordin said, apparently not sharing her concern that the Shroud was in the process of coming down around their ears. "Am attempting to stabilise structure – high probability that I will be unsuccessful. Good news however - have successfully synthesised cure from Eve."

"Is she alright?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Maelon's data invaluable in rendering process non-lethal. Already heading to safety with Wrex. Lovely couple, predict bright future for Krogan race with them in charge."

"Agreed," Shepard said quickly. She looked up again. Through the glass ceiling of the lab, she could see the Tower further deteriorating. "Are you done? Can we get the hell out of here?"

"Negative, Shepard," Mordin scurried from one console to the next. In an exceptionally uncharacteristic move, he suddenly stopped moving. Instead he too cast his gaze upwards. "Control room at top of Tower, need to disperse cure from there in order to compensate for STG sabotage. Cannot risk failure."

"Mordin..." Shepard breathed out, her voice choked with the reality of what the Salarian had just said. "This thing is coming down."

"I know," was his succinct answer as he hurried towards the elevator at the top of the lab.

Shepard ran after him - the faces of her dead squadmates passing in front of her eyes. _Kaidan, Jacob, Kasumi, those that had died aboard the_ Normandy SR-1 _._ "I won't let you do it!"

"You must," Mordin reached the elevator first. Without hesitation he hit the button and entered, the gate closing behind him.

Helplessly, Shepard came to a halt. She couldn't do anything except stare at Mordin as he turned to give her a ridiculous little wave.

"Mordin...I'm sorry, there should have been another way...someone else." Everything she said came out sounding hollow and inconsequential.

Her friend merely smiled and shook his head. "Had to be me - someone else would have gotten it wrong."

Unable to reply with any conviction, Shepard simply watched as the elevator commenced its ascent up the dying Tower. She continued to watch, even when all she could see was the tiny pod crawling up the Shroud's exterior. Eventually that too was lost in the haze. It took a huge wedge of glass almost landing on her head to make her realise that lingering at the base of a tower that was about to fall down wasn't the best idea. With an agonizing last look up at the crumbling structure and a silent farewell to Mordin, Shepard made her own exit – dashing through the exploding consoles towards the door. She felt as though she had run a marathon on Tuchanka – whether it was from Thresher Maws or falling buildings. It was coming up to forty-eight hours since she had slept properly. She was already past the limit of exhaustion she could endure and continue to function properly – her breakdown in the arena was proof of that.

As she neared the door, Shepard found herself struggling for breath – more so than if she was simply exhausted. It was the return of the now familiar sensation of constriction across her chest – complete with uncannily poor timing. It was sheer force of will that drove her down the steps and away from the Shroud. She managed less than a hundred feet before a violent tremble knocked her legs out from beneath her – the muscles in them felt like jelly. Gasping for air, Shepard flopped onto her back and looked up. She watched in awe as the field emanating from the Shroud changed. Slowly at first, just a few hints of bright white light. It grew stronger until the Shroud seemed to pour forth a cleansing balm. Spreading outwards through the sky at first, it soon began to rain down on Tuchanka's ravaged landscape and its people. Her pain momentarily forgotten, Shepard lay transfixed.

Several massive explosions rapidly punched through the shroud's exterior. Huge chunks of its cladding were beginning to break off and begin their seemingly slow descent towards the ground. The Tower had remained standing long enough to do its job, and now it was coming down with violent purpose. Shepard picked her weary body up from the ground and continued away from it in a stumbling gait. Although her heart struggled valiantly against the unknown, she couldn't manage more than an awkward trot. Thankfully she noticed the welcome sight of an Alliance shuttle swooping down over the landscape on an intercept path. The door swung open before it set down, Liara and Garrus were standing with a hand each extended towards her. They drew her smoothly upwards and into the belly of the shuttle. Shepard collapsed on the floor. Her chest pains had abated just as suddenly as they had arisen and she was able to draw in welcome breaths of air. When she turned to look out of the open shuttle door, the top of the Shroud blew outwards in a massive fire explosion. The remains fell in flames to the earth.

"Thank you, Mordin," Shepard whispered a second before the shuttle door closed.

She uttered a silent vow that the brave Salarian's sacrifice would not be in vain. Whatever the cost, they would kick the Reapers out of the galaxy. Whereas moments earlier she had been on the brink of collapse, her mind was already working the next task. They'd lost the Salarians but surely the alliance between the Krogan and Turians would bring the asari on board.

"Where's the Salarian?" Garrus asked with genuine concern in his voice.

"The cure couldn't be dispersed without him sacrificing his life," Shepard replied, her voice sounding odd to her own ears.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" Liara asked softly as she handed her a flask of water.

Shepard took a long swallow before nodding. "Yeah...but there's still a lot of work to do if all this wasn't for nothing. Garrus, what difference will Krogan soldiers make on Palaven?"

"Well...we might actually have a chance at holding," Garrus replied hopefully.

"I need to ensure Wrex had the necessary transport to get his men there in sufficient numbers," Shepard mused, taking another sip from the flask.

Ignoring Liara's worried frown, Shepard rose to her feet unaided and went to the cockpit. Admiral Hackett would no doubt need to hear the good news as soon as possible. She also had a rematch with the asari Councillor to organise. The old adage crept back into her mind – she would sleep when she was dead.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

It was the Shadow Broker's curse – even when she stopped working the feeds did not. Dedicated as she was, Liara gave them only a cursory glance when she returned to her quarters. She confirmed that there was nothing of vital importance before heading to her shower. Her informants could wait five minutes for her to scrub the filth of Tuchanka from her body. It was with much relief that she eased her suit from her body and let it fall to the floor. Naked, with her face coated in a layer of grim and her body a layer of dried sweat, Liara gratefully walked into her shower. The first blast of the lukewarm water was enough to send a delicious shiver through her body. Although she desperately wanted to linger, neither the water rationing nor her inherent work ethic would allow her longer. She fiercely scrubbed at her limbs, face and paid particular attention to the gaps between her crests where dirt was prone to accumulating. A determined swipe of her hand was all it took to shut off the invigorating flow of water.

A few minutes later, she was clad in a fresh uniform and back in control of her Network. She stifled a yawn as she trawled through the various messages. Liara looked at the time and decided to allow herself an hour of work before she gave into exhaustion. It wouldn't be long enough to tend to everything, but she would be able to clear anything that was high priority.

Less than half an hour had passed when an urgent rap at her door snapped her out of her concentration. Her first thought was that it would be Shepard, but she quickly dismissed this as the Commander ought to have been fast asleep. Still, a small part of her hoped…

"Specialist Traynor?" Liara was unable to keep the surprise from her voice when she opened her door to find the young Alliance Officer with a nervous expression on her face.

"I am so sorry to disturb you, Dr T'Soni," Traynor began quickly. "But it's the Commander-"

Liara felt her heart skip a beat. "Has something happened?"

"I'm not sure," the Specialist began tentatively. When she continued her words tumbled out in frantic haste. "I'm not even sure whether I'm supposed to do anything about it. I mean, is one supposed to make the ship's Commander do something they don't want to do? Even if it is for their own good? I tried but she, um, told me to go fuck myself."

"Slow down," Liara placed a hand on the young woman's shoulder. "Can you be a little more precise?"

"Sorry," Traynor winced. "I'm not making any sense. As soon as she returned from Tuchanka the Commander had me bring up Admiral Hackett on vidcom. I thought she'd just deliver her report and call it quits but next I had to give her a rundown of all the private messages that had arrived for her over the past day. I told her there was nothing that couldn't wait until she had rested, but she insisted. She's in her quarters…working. She just had me bring up a load of tactical reports from around the galaxy. That's when I suggested she might like to go to bed…and she, um, replied in the negative."

_Goddess, Evan_ , Liara thought with a sad sigh. She gave the human woman a reassuring nod. "Thank you, Specialist."

"I didn't know who else to ask for help. Since you know her so well, I thought…" Traynor's voice trailed off. "I am sorry for bothering you."

Liara shook her head. "No, it is right that you did. I'm the XO. If the Commander is not acting appropriately then it is my responsibility. I will take care of this."

Leaving a worried Traynor to return to the CIC, Liara made her way to _Normandy's_ crow's nest with no small amount of trepidation. Given the intensity of their experience on Tuchanka, Liara had hoped to let things rest for a few hours at least. Despite the sheer mind-numbing violence of their mad scramble to activate the maw hammers, Liara remembered every word that had left her lips. She had been completely honest with Shepard. She did love her. That had always been the undeniable truth. However she did not feel ready to deal with the consequences of that admission. With Shepard, things always seemed to progress quickly.

There was no answer the first time she pressed the com to Shepard's quarters. It was only on the third try that she received a very explicit 'Fuck off, Traynor' in reply.

Setting her jaw determinedly, Liara slammed her palm against the door mechanism. She strode into Shepard's quarters without further invitation. Her boots sounded heavy as she practically stormed down the small flight of stairs.

"I am not Traynor, but if I was I would expect you not to speak to me in such an appalling manner!" Liara snapped when she laid eyes on Shepard. "As Commander of this ship, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

It was only after the words tumbled out of her mouth that she took stock of exactly what she was seeing. Shepard was seated but that was the sole concession she had made towards knocking off duty…that and the bottle of Krogan brandy on the table in front of her. She was still clad in her filthy undersuit and blood was seeping through the dressing covering her head wound. There were several data pads stacked at her side and she had obviously been in the process of reviewing one when Liara had stormed in.

"I thought you were going to bed?" Liara's tone softened.

"I was," Shepard mumbled. She returned to the data pad. "But there's so much to do. The tactics the Resistance are using on Earth are inherently flawed. Constant running isn't doing enough to slow the Reapers down. They need to fortify, strike back!"

As Shepard spoke, Liara crossed the floor. She reached out and tugged the data pad from her fingers. "You can't be expected to organise the defence of Earth, Shepard. Leave that to Anderson and his men."

Shepard's hand reached out for the bottle in front of her. Not bothering with a glass, she lifted it to her lips and took a long swallow. Her eyes were watering fiercely when she spoke. "Anderson's MIA, presumed dead."

Liara let out a slight gasp. "Shepard…I-I…I am so sorry. I did not know."

She was at a loss for a few moments. Standing helplessly over Shepard, she didn't know whether to reach out towards her or give her more space. The question was answered for her when Shepard awkwardly placed the bottle back on the table. She misjudged the edge of the table and it would have slipped and fallen to the floor if not for Liara's reflexes. The asari gathered up the bottle and put it to one side, well out of Shepard's reach.

"You know there is nothing you can do to help Anderson. You have your own job to do, just as he has his," she began patiently.

"Yeah, as Mordin Solus had his," Shepard replied quietly. She slumped forward and put her face in her hands. "There should have been a way to disperse the cure without him dying. If only I'd had more time to think...to plan..."

It was only when Liara saw her scrub quickly at her eyes that she realised they hadn't been watering from the intensity of the alcohol as she had first thought. Shepard was actually crying. Not sobs, instead the tears were almost imperceptible - just a small amount of water welling beneath her eyes. The tears were dashed away before they could make tracks through the grime on Shepard's face. With her initial anger all but dissipated, Liara found herself sinking to her knees in front of Shepard. At first she didn't know what to do. Eventually she simply placed a gentle hand on her leg and waited for her to speak.

Several minutes passed before Shepard suddenly looked up with a worried expression. "Shit, I need to apologise to Traynor."

"Yes you do," Liara replied matter-of-factly. "But that can wait. You have two priorities right now, one – have a shower, you smell like a Krogan, and two – get some sleep."

Shepard stared back at her for a moment or two before asking in a small voice, "Do I really smell like a Krogan?"

Liara couldn't suppress a smile. Almost instinctively, she reached out and cupped Shepard's extremely dirty cheek with one hand. With a similar sort of response, Shepard leaned into the touch and closed her eyes.

"The smelliest of Krogan," Liara replied softly. She let her hand fall reluctantly and stood up. On the couch in front of her, Shepard slumped backwards. When she made no attempt to get up, it was clear she was on the verge of falling asleep before she even made it into the shower. "You can't just dream about it, you actually need to get in the shower."

"When did you become so damn bossy?" Shepard mumbled in reply.

However reluctant her tone, Shepard dragged herself to her feet

Without thinking, Liara reached out for the zip of Shepard's body suit. She suddenly froze. Implicit in her hesitation were all the reasons why she ought not to be helping Shepard get undressed. It well and truly pushed the boundaries of their fragile relationship. Yet it was an act she had performed so many times, it was so easy to continue and tug the zipper downwards. Liara tried to concentrate on the task at hand – undo the zip, push the suit over each shoulder so she could peel it downwards. However it was impossible to do it without a slight thrill at feeling the taut muscles beneath her touch. Her hands ran downwards over Shepard's flanks, her hips and the curve of her buttocks. She returned to kneeling as she stripped the tight garment from Shepard's legs, trying to perform the task as quickly as possible. When she finished her cheeks were flaming.

"I think you can manage the rest," she said, trying to sound nonchalant despite feeling anything but. "I will change that dressing for you when you get out of the shower."

"Middle cupboard beneath the fish tank," Shepard added helpfully.

In her sleepy-state, she seemed oblivious to Liara's discomfort – a fact made all the more evident when she stripped off her bra and shorts en route to the shower. Scarlett-faced, Liara wrenched her gaze from Shepard's naked body and rushed to find a first aid kit as though her life depended on it.

Much to her relief, Shepard emerged several minutes later decently clad in a towelling robe. Liara couldn't help but stare. Shepard's damp black hair was longer than she remembered, close to sitting on her shoulders. Out of her armour, with the dirt of war rinsed away, Liara was struck by how vulnerable she appeared. Save for the glowing scars that crossed much of her face, Shepard would have been an unremarkable human woman – tired, frail and too slight to carry the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. Liara knew otherwise. In many ways Shepard was superhuman – the scars were proof enough of that. They still unnerved her each time she looked at her face - a reminder of what they had both lost with Shepard's death. However they also served a reminder of the lengths to which she had gone to give Shepard a second life. She had murdered, lied and very nearly lost her own life in the pursuit of the impossible. If she had truly done all of those things, then why was it so difficult to make their relationship work?

"There really was a person under all of that dirt," Liara joked quietly. She patted the edge of Shepard's bed. "Take a seat."

Shepard obliged without protest while Liara busied herself in the small box of medical supplies she had found. Medigel, gauze, tape – she selected each item with an industrious purpose. It was only when she started work that she realised the position she had inadvertently put herself in. Shepard perched on the edge of the bed while she stood. The towelling robe gaped slightly as she looked downwards, revealing a generous view of creamy white skin.

"I can do it myself you know," Shepard pointed out.

Guilt followed quickly when Liara realised just how long she had been staring. "Um, sorry...I was just examining the wound." _Sure Liara, her breasts are perfectly healthy._

The cut required only a small application of medigel. She dabbed a generous dollop on the tip of her index finger and tenderly ran it over Shepard's forehead. It was quick, almost contactless, but intimate all the same. Shepard was staring up at her in the pretext of making the process easier – but it also ensured that their eyes frequently met. Knowing that she was on the verge of breaking, Liara mechanically and quickly applied the gauze and tape. The resulting bandage was somewhat untidy, with an excessive amount of tape plastered to Shepard's forehead.

_One last piece ought to do it_ , Liara thought as she examined her handiwork. She tore a piece off and gently smoothed it on. Her intention was not to draw out the contact any longer than necessary, but as her finger ran the length of the tape time seemed to slow down. In tandem with her finger, her thumb brushed the smooth skin of Shepard's forehead, her palm soon followed and she eventually found herself running her entire hand over the side of Shepard's head. Wet hair trailed through her fingers and she caught a simple but fragrant scent. At first, Shepard simply closed her eyes and leaned into the contact. The touch lingered beyond simple comfort as Liara traced the back of Shepard's head and moved down to her neck. It became a firm, almost hungry caress with her thumb repeatedly stroking the hard lines of Shepard's jaw.

There was nothing she could do to avoid what happened next - or more accurately, nothing she wanted to do. There was a brief moment where she could have drawn away before Shepard's arm snaked around her waist. However it became impossible from the moment that she was jerked forward off her feet and pulled down atop the woman she missed so desperately. As though magnetised, her lips were drawn towards Shepard's, just as the palm of her hand was drawn to the curve of Shepard's breast. At the first touch of firm lips and soft skin, a ravenous moan escaped her lips. Shepard responded to the kiss with her own sighs of encouragement, hands reaching up to touch Liara's crests.

Despite the time that had passed, nothing had changed. Their lips and bodies still melded together in a perfect symphony of caresses. A coherent thought process was soon forced to the back of Liara's mind. Every act was instinctual, and yet so palpable were the thrills running through her body that Liara also felt as if it was happening for the first time. Shepard's legs parted and her thigh effortlessly slipped between them, driving hard against the warm apex between her legs.

At some point, Liara wasn't sure when, she flared her biotics. The delicate blue fields wrapped around them both, caressing and gently tugging at their limbs. Desire had taken hold of her rational mind as she pictured Shepard spread-eagled and helpless beneath her touch.

However she made the very conscious decision to initiate the meld between them, reaching out towards the very essence that made Shepard who she was. She desired the contact and the intimacy of the meld – she missed Shepard and wanted to experience all of her. Yet as soon as she felt the familiar consciousness joining with her own, she knew it was a mistake. Shepard wasn't ready, and neither was she. A flood of uncontrolled memories hit her like a wave – random images accompanied by feelings. _Yelling at herself on Ilium whilst gripped with a combination of anger and frustration; watching herself be surrounded and cut down by Reapers and feeling an helpless terror in the pit of her stomach; the naked body of Miranda Lawson hard up against hers as she fucked her with a daunting intensity…_

Liara felt Shepard suddenly fall beneath her. Although the soft bed cushioned their fall, the impact was abrupt and jarring. Liara rolled off Shepard and sat up, hanging her head in a combination of shame and nausea. Shepard followed suit, not bothering to draw the robe closed to hide her nakedness as she reached out a hand to rest against Liara's arm.

"Liara…I didn't mean for all of that to come up, especially not..." Shepard said in a weak voice. "I wasn't expecting you to initiate the meld."

"Please do not apologise. The fault is entirely mine," Liara whispered. "That was foolish…no, dangerous on my part."

They sat in silence for a few moments as racing heartbeats calmed and returned to normal. Eventually Liara slid off the bed and returned to her feet. Shepard watched her with an anxious expression on her face.

"You're not staying?" she asked quietly.

"I do not think that would be wise," Liara shook her head. "I cannot trust myself."

Although her voice was unwavering and her tone low, inside she was fighting to hold her resolve. It was even worse when she turned back to Shepard and saw how deflated her entire demeanour was. With desperation of her own, she surged back to Shepard, kneeling on the bed in front of her so she could cup both her cheeks in her hands.

"You know how much I want this, Evan. Goddess, you felt it! But I need time…you need time," she explained tenderly.

Shepard nodded reluctantly. Liara deposited a final kiss on her forehead and scuttled backward off the bed. She had only gone a few steps when she heard a small voice.

"I can't sleep."

She stopped and turned. "What?"

"I mean, I can't sleep very well…" Shepard swallowed nervously. She couldn't believe she was admitting any of this – even to Liara. "I have nightmares…" she stopped short of the most crucial admission - _I wake up and I'm in pain and I know it's because you're not here_.

Concern written across her face, Liara moved back towards the bed.

"Will you sit with me?" Shepard asked hopefully. "Just until I fall asleep?"

This frightened person crouching there couldn't possibly be her Shepard, and yet it was. It was someone more real – just like the Shepard who had tried to hide on Tuchanka. The old Shepard would have stoically hid her pain and suffered with it rather than make such a childlike request.

There was only one answer she could possibly give. "You know I will."

 


	16. Eden Prime Awakening

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Shepard was floating in that vague, often dream-like state just before waking. Her senses were dulled to a point where she was only aware of a series of sensations – that of being warm, comfortable and incredibly safe. At this point she couldn't process her state of being much beyond this simple awareness. She floated in this place, and she was content.

A few minutes passed and consciousness began to rear its ugly head. In addition to the scattered sensations, her semi-conscious brain was aware of something out of the ordinary. A gentle weight pressed against her hip and down towards her buttocks. Far from being unpleasant or something to be concerned about, Shepard felt reassured by its now strangely familiar presence.

When her eyelids slowly peeled open, there was only a dim light emanating from her sound system and the fish tank. With full consciousness a few moments later, she realised that the weight lying across her body was an arm. The warmth down her back was that of another body. Shepard gently rolled over to investigate even though she had a suspicion regarding what she would find. The movement prompted a small noise in response from her slumbering partner, just a slight sigh that sent a shiver down Shepard's spine. She found herself staring at the perfect sight to wake up to – the still sleeping form of Liara T'Soni. The asari was fast asleep on her side, one hand still draped over Shepard and the other tucked into a fist beneath her chin. Given that she had not intended to spend the night, she was still fully clothed save for her boots.

While a part of her did not want those precious moments to end, Shepard could not resist reaching out a hand to stroke the side of Liara's face. She trailed gentle fingers from her temple, down over her cheek, finally coming to rest on her lips. Her thumb brushed the soft flesh and Liara's lips parted, letting out a slightly louder sigh. The hand suddenly jerked from her body a split second before Liara rose into a sitting position. The asari seemed confused at first, her eyes darting around Shepard's cabin. She eventually turned her head to see Shepard lying next to her.

"I fell asleep," Liara stated the obvious in an apologetic tone. "I was only supposed to watch you for a while...I did not intend-" She pressed a hand to her lips to stifle a small yawn and the memory of the previous night came flooding back. Heat burned fiercely in her belly when she remembered their brief moments of desire, the glorious feel of Shepard's lips on hers after all the years apart. When Shepard had asked her to stay until she fell asleep, she had made the mistake of choosing to sit on the bed beside her. Liara couldn't keep a smile from her face when she remembered cradling Shepard gently in her arms while the human closed her eyes. That was the last thing she remembered, she must have succumbed to sleep herself while watching Shepard. "I am sorry, Shepard."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about, Liara," was Shepard's firm response. She too dragged herself up into a sitting position. Shepard closed her eyes for a moment; she arched her back in a sort of half-stretch whilst in her sitting position. "That's the best night's sleep I've had since the Reapers invaded. Thank you."

Liara smiled. "You are welcome."

With her eyes still closed, Shepard let the soft tones of Liara's voice wash over her like a balm. In that moment she could almost pretend that the universe wasn't falling down around her ears. A wistful sigh escaped her lips. If only this was the only place she had to be at that moment in time – sitting, half-naked, on a bed next to Liara.

"Commander?" Traynor's voice, hardly jarring though it was, cruelly interrupted her moment of peace. "Admiral Hackett is available on vidcom."

"When she puts it like that it sounds as though I have a choice," Shepard remarked quietly. She opened her eyes and found Liara staring back at her with a smile on her face. "What?"

"Becoming subordinate in your old age, Commander?" she asked, rising from the bed and to her feet.

Shepard felt the loss of Liara's presence keenly, even though the asari had barely moved more than a few metres away. "My old age? I'm not the one who's 109, T'Soni." With a reluctant sigh, Shepard joined her in leaving the bed. As she moved, her robe gaped slightly.

Liara had to drag her gaze away from the glimpse of Shepard's naked body. She swallowed quickly. "I had best return to my quarters, the feeds...there are feeds that need to be checked...urgently."

"Thank you again, Liara," a grinning Shepard called after her. She had recognised the flustered tone in Liara's voice for what it was. However she stopped short of taking further advantage of it, reluctantly tugging her robe closed.

"Anytime, Shepard."

"Careful what promises you make, I'll hold you to them."

Liara glanced over her shoulder as she stepped out of Shepard's quarters. "I know you will."

* * *

 

_{Hell of a job on Tuchanka, Commander,}_ Hackett said. Shepard wasn't entirely sure whether he was actually congratulating her. Curing the genophage would never have happened had they not been desperate for their support in the war against the Reapers. _{I take it we can count on Krogan support on Palaven?}_

"Yessir," Shepard nodded. "Wrex will have his troops on the ground within a matter of hours." She paused, her mind towards more sobering thoughts. "Have you had any news about Anderson?"

_{Unfortunately not,}_ Hackett replied heavily. _{Any searching in the area where he went missing has been impossible. By all accounts...it has been completely overrun by Reaper ground forces.}_

Shepard clutched the edge of the console in front of her. She wasn't about to give up hope, but she had to admit to herself that the situation was looking grim for her old friend. Despite all her responsibilities, she desperately wanted to ignore them and order the _Normandy_ back to Earth.

"And the Crucible?" Shepard asked. She needed some sort of good news. Hackett didn't reply immediately. Shepard recognised the slight tightening of his mouth as all the indication she needed. Her own shoulders slumped. Any elation she had few just a few minutes earlier quickly dissipated.

_{The construction of the Crucible itself is progressing rapidly, even more so than we anticipated, however we seem to be missing a key component – something the Protheans named the Catalyst,}_ Hackett explained. _{Without it, the Crucible will not be complete. It will effectively be useless.}_

"And we cannot fabricate this Catalyst?" Shepard asked the reasonable question.

_{No, the Prothean designs indicate that whatever this Catalyst is, it is a pre-existing component. We've got our best people on this problem, Shepard. I need you to stay out on the front lines, keep doing exactly what you're doing-}_

"Admiral," Shepard interrupted. "If this Catalyst is so important then surely-"

Hackett shook his head and Shepard immediately stopped her protest. _{I need you and the_ Normandy _to go to Eden Prime. We've had disturbing reports come in of a Cerberus attack against colonists there. Intercept them and find out why the hell they're on Eden Prime. Initial reports say that they're concentrated around a Prothean dig site and they've uncovered some sort of artefact. My suggestion would be to take Dr T'Soni with you.}_

"I had already come to the same conclusion," Shepard added quickly.

Her call with Hackett done, Shepard returned to the CIC. Specialist Traynor was at her station, however the young woman did not offer her customary greeting. With her head down, Traynor looked as though she was working on something feverishly - or at least pretending to be working on something feverishly.

"Traynor?"

The Specialist snapped to attention so rapidly it was almost unnatural. Traynor was able to meet Shepard's gaze, but her eyes gave away the distinctive hint of someone preparing herself for the worst. The response was more than enough to ignite Shepard's guilt over her behaviour.

"At ease, Specialist. I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour after returning from Tuchanka."

"I was out of line," Traynor replied quickly.

"No, you were doing your job. Admirably." Shepard watched as the young woman's expression and posture relaxed visibly. "In fact, I've been nothing but impressed by your work - especially your initiative."

Traynor blushed and lowered her gaze. "Thank you, ma'am. I'm doing my best."

"Please keep it up. This War needs as many sailors like you as possible."

"Um, I thought you might be interested to hear what happened on Grissom Academy?" Traynor offered hesitantly. At Shepard's nod she continued, "You were right, the _Saratoga_ responded and managed to drive Cerberus out. They made it in time to save most of the students."

Shepard lowered her head. _Most of_. "Thank you, Traynor"

* * *

 

**Eden Prime, Exodus Cluster**

"I'm not picking Cerberus up on any scans, Commander," Steve Cortez informed her as the shuttle circled in to land on Eden Prime.

"Doesn't mean they're not out there," Shepard cautioned as she watched the video feed showing a devastated agrarian landscape. The shuttle bucked slightly in the atmospheric turbulence but she had a firm grip on the overheard supports. Her heart sank, the colonists of Eden Prime had already suffered much – first Saren and the geth, and now Cerberus. "Look sharp, people. Whatever Cerberus is after, we're going to take it out from under their noses."

"Always a pleasure, ma'am," Vega replied firmly.

Shepard slapped him on the shoulder – a hard thwack as her glove came into contact with his hardsuit. Vega had approached her prior to the mission and apologised profusely for his behaviour prior to the mission on Tuchanka – well, at profuse as the usually taciturn Lieutenant could manage. A grand total of three words had been spoken – 'I'm sorry, Commander.' It had been more than enough, especially given the sincerity she sensed behind the brief apology.

Less than half a minute later the shuttle's thrusters roared to soften the craft's landing. The door opened and, without actually waiting for touchdown, Shepard leapt out onto Eden Prime's soft soil. She turned to her squad.

"Corporal Duquesne? Set up a defensive perimeter around the shuttle and wait for further orders. Liara, Vega and I will go into the settlement."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

The prefab structures that made up most of the construction on Eden Prime were laid out in front of them – they served as the laboratories, storage facilities and living quarters for the colonists. As the _Normandy_ team approached, they could see that smoke poured from several of the prefabs. So far there was no sign of any Cerberus forces, but the team did not have to go far before finding the first dead bodies. Two colonists lay together across the dirt road in front of them.

"Cerberus bastards," Vega hissed.

"Eyes front, Vega," Shepard cautioned. She slowed as she approached. Ignoring her own advice, she risked a quick glance down at their faces to see a young man and woman. Although both were armed, their weapons were still in their holsters. They'd been shot in the back, clear evidence that the Cerberus strike had been swift and merciless. "We're heading for the dig site."

"I've studied the site's reports," Liara explained as they moved. "There should be an elevator that connects the dig site to the rest of the colony." She paused, scanning their environs. "There it is, up ahead."

With their weapons still raised, Shepard and Vega moved in on either side of Liara as she headed for the elevator's control panel. She holstered her Carnifex and set to work, fingers moving in a blur across the controls. Only a few seconds later the motors whirred into action and began raising the platform. Although Shepard was busy keeping an eye out for Cerberus, she turned back to the asari the moment she heard her gasp in shock.

"Shepard," it came out in a voice only slightly louder than a whisper. "This isn't a Prothean artefact..." The platform rose until it was level with them. Lying upon it was a large cylindrical object. For Shepard and Liara, it was recognisably similar to the Prothean stasis pods they had discovered on Ilos. However, whereas the occupants of those pods of those pods had died when their power supply failed..."It's a Prothean...and it's still alive."

Her head turned towards Liara, she studied the expression on the asari's face. It quickly morphed from one of shock to eager excitement. For a Prothean archaeologist, it was the find of a lifetime. It represented the answer to every unanswered question that had ever arisen during her decades spent studying the ancient race.

"A living Prothean?" Shepard mused, coming to stand at Liara's side. "Well, let's get him out of there."

Liara tapped in a few more commands and shook her head. "The pod has been damaged, most probably occurring when Cerberus excavated it hastily. Simply opening it without the proper command signals would be fatal for its occupant. No doubt there is pod data is contained within one of the colony's research laboratories."

"We're following your lead, T'Soni," Shepard nodded. "What do we need?"

Liara un-holstered her heavy pistol and turned to face Shepard. "There should be a command signal that ends stasis mode and another to open the pod. I do not imagine that Cerberus is simply going to let us have it however."

"Commander, we've got incoming!" Vega yelled.

The warning was unnecessary, all three of them heard the sounds made by the incoming Cerberus shuttles. As she sprinted for cover, Shepard glanced upwards to see troopers dropping from the shuttles. Several were cut down by the combined small arms fire of the _Normandy_ team before they could even reach the ground. The Mattock barked sharply in Shepard's expert hands, sending the surviving Cerberus soldiers scurrying for the nearest cover. Cover was not sufficient protection for two of them, they suddenly found themselves at the complete mercy of a biotic singularity. Dangling helplessly, they were prime targets. Liara coldly and efficiently dispatched both of them when she detonated the singularity. The resulting biotic explosion tore into both troopers and they crashed to the ground unmoving.

With the gap created in Cerberus' attack, Vega sprinted forward with his fortification power activated. With protective Foucault currents surging through his armour, he was able to shrug off the desperate hail of bullets unloaded in his direction. The butt of his rifle smashed into the chin of the nearest soldier before he brought the weapon back up to his shoulder and mowed quickly through the Cerberus line of defence. Shepard and Liara moved around in a flanking move, completely cutting off the remaining pocket of resistance. It was a merely formality as the last of them were cut down.

Under no illusions as to whether or not Cerberus would be back, Shepard pushed her team quickly through the small settlement. They checked building after building, often finding colonists who had been cruelly gunned down while going about their daily business. One group were still seated around a table laden with the staples of off-duty military personnel – beer and chips. The only difference was that each had been shot in their chairs. Only one corporal had managed to put up any sort of fight, he was lying in a doorway, an Avenger assault rifle in his hands. Shepard couldn't help but glance down at his youthful face. Pale blue eyes were staring lifelessly back at her. She took a few moments to drop into a crouch. With gloved fingers she reached out and gently closed his eyes.

"Shepard!" Liara's voice forced her quickly back to her feet. "The lab is directly through there."

Following the line of the asari's pistol, Shepard moved outside. Her boots clattered softly on the metal balconies as she moved. The door she came to was locked of course, however it took less than thirty seconds for her omni-tool to break through the encrypted lock.

"Vega, eyes sharp, Liara – with me," Shepard ordered as she moved through into the lab.

"Shepard, the console," Liara pointed out. "The pod data will no doubt be stored there."

Nodding towards Liara, Shepard moved forward towards the console. She keyed in a start-up command and watched as the previously dormant screen flared into life. Only one hand worked across the keys, the other retained a firm grip on the handle of her Mattock.

Trusting that Vega would watch the perimeter, Liara kept both her eyes on Shepard. At first all she saw was her Commander standing in front of a screen full of static. As the minutes rolled by and the static didn't alter, Liara felt her hopes sinking with each passing second. It seemed likely that Cerberus had been unable to decipher the Prothean data and had simply erased it to prevent anyone else from getting their hands on it.

"Shepard?" Liara asked quietly. She moved up beside her but there was no response. When she turned to look at the Commander, she gasped in shock to see her eyes vibrating intensely as she watched something that Liara could not see. Liara looked from Shepard and back to the screen, she could see nothing except static. When she reached out and gave the frozen woman a sharp push with her hand, she tottered unsteadily but did not fall or snap out of her trance. Just as Liara was on the verge of panicking, Shepard's eyes closed. They remained that way for just a second, however when they opened they were crystal clear, blue and completely alert. Liara reached out and placed the back of her hand against Shepard's cheek – it was hot to the touch. "Shepard?"

Liara watched as a myriad of thoughts flickered across the face of the woman standing in front of her before she actually spoke. "Is that how it's going to be for us?" Shepard asked Liara quietly. Unfortunately Liara had no idea what Shepard was talking about. She was about to attempt a reply when Shepard continued of her own accord. "It was like Earth...only far, far worse. I saw a civilisation dying, Liara. His entire world was burning around him and yet he fought desperately to save a small remnant."

"Who are you talking about, Evan?" Liara asked softly.

Shepard turned to look directly at her. "Javik. The Prothean."

"You saw...you saw his memories?" the asari was astounded. "I saw only static."

Turning back to the screen, Shepard saw what Liara must have seen all along. It was nothing more than unreadable fuzz. "I'm not sure what happened. I was trying to access the data and all of a sudden I was somewhere else – it was an experience like the Prothean beacon...but less traumatic." She drew in a breath, when she turned back to face Liara, there was an urgency in her gaze. "I know how to get him out of his pod...I'm pretty sure I can duplicate both the signal to interrupt stasis and the one to open the pod."

{Commander, we've got incoming!} Corporal Duquesne said urgently over the comm channel.

The unmistakable sound of shuttle thrusters then passed overhead. Only a split second later they heard Vega's shout of 'incoming!' followed by his Mattock opening up. Both Shepard and Liara dashed outside and into cover beside the Lieutenant. Already Shepard could see a Cerberus engineer setting up a highly dangerous, rapid-fire turret immediately adjacent to their position. Before he could complete the set-up, she swiftly drew the pin on one of her frag grenades and tossed it. It was a well-aimed throw - the turret exploded and crumpled with a twisting of metal and the engineer was killed instantly. Liara and Vega followed up with attacks of their own – the Lieutenant pressing forward to disrupt their attack while the asari unleashed a string of biotic combos. The dull explosions echoed in Shepard's ears as she tossed another couple of grenades towards concentrated pockets of Cerberus troops.

"We've got to get to that pod!" she yelled in Liara's direction. "We can't risk Cerberus destroying it!"

Liara gave a firm nod in reply, before Shepard could issue any orders she was already pressing forward. The asari expertly lit up a Centurion with a warp throw, detonating it only a second later and sending him and two of his troopers flying. A burst of fire from her Tempest scattered the rest. Shepard followed closely, using her Mattock to deter any interested pursuers if they dared risk exposing themselves from cover.

As she ran, the Prothean scenes that had invaded her mind continually replayed in a loop. She saw a city on fire while its citizens struggled to hold back the Reaper invasion long enough for their remaining citizens to make it to their stasis pods. When everything was over, she felt Javik's despair mixed with an intense anger when he realised that he was to be the last of his kind. They were thoughts that kept her pressing forward, cutting her way through the attacking Cerberus troops as though they were merely playing at war and their weapons were only toys. Several times bullets glanced off her shields, each time they flickered violently but held. She didn't even bother glancing towards Liara, knowing full well that the asari would be frantically waving at her to keep her head down. None of it mattered to Shepard, she couldn't risk Cerberus realising that they had the final pieces to the puzzle and destroying the pod simply to keep it out of Alliance hands.

Her team fell into defensive positions around the pod without a word of command from her. Still under fire, Shepard ran in a sort of half-crouch to the console. She brought up her omni-tool and accessed the pods controls. It seemed like an eternity before she could get the pod to accept the duplicated command signals. All the while Cerberus seemed to be throwing everything they had at them.

"Right people, we've got five minutes until the pod completes its cycle – that means holding Cerberus off!" Shepard yelled as she fell behind a pile of supply crates. She risked a glance over the top and was met by a spattering of assault rifle fire that nearly took her head off. Cerberus were hemming them in, obviously throwing everything they had at the small Alliance force. "Vega, bring the heat! Liara, watch our flanks, I don't want any of the bastards getting behind us!"

After emptying a thermal clip from her Mattock in the direction of several Cerberus soldiers, Shepard checked her munitions – she was well stocked with thermal clips but was down to her last two frag grenades. Both were soon tossed to prevent engineers setting up their dreaded turrets. The last thing they needed was to be pinned down by a ceaseless, devastating hail of bullets – especially when the engineers repaired the turrets before they could be destroyed. Shepard was suddenly temporarily blinded by a red light flashing across her vision. She quickly dived to the right and a high calibre bullet slammed into the crates, precisely where her head had been a moment earlier.

"Liara, Nemesis on the roof!" Shepard called, pointing out the deadly Cerberus sniper who had taken up a position on a nearby roof.

"Got it," Liara replied, already preparing to throw a singularity in the sniper's direction. Before the Nemesis could reload, she screeched helplessly as she found herself lifted into the air above the battlefield. Shepard took an amount of satisfaction in ripping apart her body with several shots from her Mattock.

"Atlas!" Vega's shot quickly drew her attention.

Shepard watched with dismay as the heavy mech dropped from a shuttle overhead. As its feet hit the ground, the battlefield shook with the impact. It loosened off a rocket in Vega's direction only moments later. The Lieutenant was forced to scramble from his cover.

"Shit!" Shepard gripped her Mattock tightly for a moment, then sprinted from her cover. A flurry of cannon shells from the Atlas followed her but by some miracle she managed to stay ahead of them. Her goal was to get behind the mech so she could open fire on the weak spot in the middle of the back. Thankfully the bulk of the attacking Cerberus forces had been depleted in their initial attacks. Shepard encountered only sporadic resistance as she outflanked the mech while Vega and Liara drew its attention. At the edge of her hearing, she heard another dull boom of a biotic explosion.

She was almost in position in one of the prefabs when she suddenly heard the telltale whine of a Cerberus grenade. Although the warning was enough to halt her forward momentum, it exploded before she had time to throw her entire body behind cover. Shepard was thrown backwards and her Mattock fell from her hands. Even though her ears were ringing painfully, she scrambled immediately to her feet and threw herself over the counter where the grenade had originated. The Cerberus trooper sheltering there had obviously not expected her to recover so quickly. Her fist smashed into his helmet and while he was dazed, she snatched up his fallen weapon. Shepard didn't stop and think before she pulled the trigger, the fully automatic assault-rifle ripped into the trooper's chest. He gurgled on his own blood for a few moments before falling completely silent. Although the rifle in her hands resembled a Mattock, it was clearly something else. With an element of anticipation, Shepard opened up on the coil at the base of the Atlas' torso. The powerful weapon smashed through the remainder of the mech's shields in a matter of seconds. As the mech turned to face the threat from behind, Vega and Liara were able to switch from being mere distractions to threats of their own. Their combined powers smashed into the Atlas as its pilot failed to counter the multi-directional threat.

With the mech in the process of self-destructing, Shepard didn't pause to watch. Instead she was sweeping back around to the pod, new weapon held in her hands as she checked for any Cerberus remnants.

"What the hell is that?" was the first question out of Vega's mouth when he saw Shepard approaching them. He nodded towards the assault rifle she carried.

Shepard grinned. "Don't know, but it's mine."

The grin soon faded as she heard a strange voice piping from the stasis pod, announcing that reintegration was complete. With baited breath, all three of them surrounded the pod with their weapons at the ready. Predictably, Liara leaned in close – no one begrudged the Prothean expert the chance to be the first to actually see a living Prothean.

"This dude better wake up fast," Vega said as he kept a close watch for any Cerberus stragglers.

"Give him a chance. He's been asleep for 50,000 years," Shepard pointed out.

With a hiss of escaping gases, the stasis pod opened. Gripping the handle of her new rifle firmly, Shepard leant forward as the gases dissipated and revealed the face of the Prothean. Javik. At first glance his face immediately brought to mind those of the Collectors she had spent so much energy fighting while wearing a Cerberus uniform.

She was still staring when his eyes suddenly snapped open and, with barely a pause, a green field rippled out from the surface of his body. All three of them were thrown backwards as the Prothean scrambled free of his pod.

When Shepard lifted her gaze she saw him stumbling wildly, limbs uncooperative after so long without use. With a warning from Liara registering only dimly at the back of her mind, Shepard cautiously approached Javik, who by now had fallen to his hands and knees. As he struggled to rise, she reached out a gentle hand to help him to his feet. Upon contact, something slammed into her instantly. It was another memory like those she had seen on the screen. She felt an overwhelming anger as Javik realised that further resistance was futile; his helplessness at being forced to retreat to a stasis pod; and further anger as the emotionless artificial voice informed him that the bunker had been damaged and his pod would have priority in power redistribution. The last image disappeared abruptly and Shepard stumbled backwards, shaking her head in a daze. When she reorientated herself, she found Javik staring at her with what she thought was a frown.

"Human, how many others survived?" he asked, his voice alien and yet familiar.

"You can speak our language?" Liara asked in fascination.

"Yes, our brief contact was long enough for me to read your primitive physiology and nervous system," he explained impatiently. "How many others are there?"

"I'm afraid you're the only one."

Javik's lips tightened with anger. He scanned the surface of Eden Prime, before turning back to stare at the three individuals who surrounded him.

_{Commander?}_ Cortez's voice came over the comm. _{We've got incoming on a massive scale. My advice would be to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.}_

"Agreed," Shepard replied quickly. "We've got an additional passenger…that is, if he agrees to come with us." As she spoke the last words, she addressed them to Javik.

"You are at war with the Reapers?" he asked.

"Yes," Shepard nodded.

"And you resist them?"

"With everything damn thing we have," she growled determinedly. She held out her hand towards his in a friendly gesture.

Javik regarded her hand coldly, but he made no move to take it. Instead, he gave a short, curt nod. "Then I will accompany you…for now."

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

It took a few moments for Shepard to adjust herself to the change of atmosphere in the cargo hold. As her eyes focused in the murky gloom, she saw the Prothean kneeling in a meditative pose near the far end of the room. His gaze was downcast, his eyes no doubt closed. She knew he would have heard her boots sounding on the deck, but he chose not to turn around. She had earlier waved away the security detail, trusting in her own instinct that said he would not harm her. Liara had also been lurking outside the cargo hold, pacing with nervous excitement. It had taken a quick touch from Shepard to stop her in her tracks. However, she didn't have the heart to tell the asari to wait outside as well and consequentially she was now standing in the cargo hold just behind her. A part of her did think that closing the door between her and the security detail was slightly ill-advised. Neither she nor Liara carried any weapons.

Shepard remained patient, waiting for Javik to speak first. Finally, after several minutes had passed, he spoke in a soft voice.

"What do you hope to achieve by keeping me captive, human?" Javik asked the question as he slowly rose to his feet. He straightened and, only at the last moment, tilted his head up to look Shepard and Liara in the eye. He was every inch the proud warrior.

Keeping her footsteps light but confident, Shepard approached him – trying not to show any hesitation on her part. "You are not a prisoner here, Javik," Shepard replied honestly. "We do not seek to hold you against your will, or study you-" Behind her she heard a small, indignant cough from Liara "-but we would appreciate any assistance you can offer in our war against the Reapers. Will you join with us?"

"Join with you?" Javik glared at Shepard. "An alliance of primitives?"

"Primitives?" Liara spluttered. The asari were not used to hearing themselves referred to in such a fashion.

Shepard was unfazed. "We may have been primitive in your time, but the humans...asari, Turians, Salarians, we are allied in our fight against the Reapers. We found your plans for the Crucible, and we're going to use it to destroy the Reapers."

"The Crucible?" Javik frowned. "I do not know of this...Crucible." Liara quickly crossed to a nearby terminal and brought up the plans for the device. Although Javik studied them intently, no hint of recognition appeared on his features. "If this was something our scientists were working on, I was not privy to it. I was...and am, a soldier. I put my faith in weapons, not science."

"As a soldier you will understand what we are up against," Shepard continued. "As part of my crew-"

"Your crew?" Javik interrupted. He suddenly surged forward. "Who are you to command me?" Without hesitation he placed his hand in the centre of Shepard's chest. The pure shock of the contact energised her entire body. It felt similar to the transfer on Eden Prime, but it was all one way traffic flowing from Shepard to the Prothean. "Who are you...Commander Shepard?"

By now the inability to breathe had become almost as familiar to Shepard as breathing itself. While Javik's contact itself did not feel harmful or invasive, something within her body reacted savagely. Her heart and lungs constricted painfully. Gasping for air, she sank to her knees. Behind her, she heard Liara's frantic footsteps. The asari's voice soon followed.

"By the Goddess stop whatever it is you are doing!" the asari demanded, her biotics flaring.

"It is not me!" Javik held his hands up as Liara stared him down.

Although unconvinced, Liara had to let the mass effect field die in order to reach out and cradle Shepard's sagging body in her arms. Her Commander was obviously struggling for breath, clawing at her chest as though trying to tear something away from her body.

"Shepard...Evan?" Liara whispered desperately. She activated her comm. " Security! I need Dr Chakwas and an emergency medical team in the cargo hold immediately!"

Only a split second later the security detail flooded back into the cargo hold. A small host of assault rifles and pistols were trained on the lone Prothean. Javik responded with an angry, frustrated glare, but made no move towards hostility. They stood over Shepard who seemed to be struggling for breath in Liara's arms. Liara could only look on helplessly as Shepard clutched at her chest as though struggling to tear something from her body. Her face was twisted into a mask of desperation and pain.

"Evan, Dr Chakwas is her on way..." Liara's voice trailed off, unsure of what to say. "Please, you have to fight this."

Shepard listened to Liara's words, she clung to the sound of her voice. It succeeded in giving her something to hold onto, it grounded her. Gradually, as it always had, the strange pain gradually faded and she was left breathing normally. By the time Chakwas and her team arrived a few minutes later, she felt as though she was in perfect health. She was already sitting up unaided when the surprised doctor tried to examine her.

"We need a security detail posted on these doors," Liara was saying. "The Prothean is not allowed to leave this room-"

"Rescind that order," Shepard said, her voice clear and firm. She waved Chakwas away for the time being. "Liara...it wasn't him."

"But Shepard...I was standing right behind you-"

She shook her head. "I don't know what causes these attacks, but I know that it definitely wasn't Javik."

Liara stared at her with a stunned expression on her face. "These attacks? There have been more?"

"Shepard? This is news to me!" Chakwas added, also stunned and more than a little indignant that Shepard had been neglecting to inform her about an apparently serious medical condition.

A simple shrug followed, but it did not placate either Liara or Dr Chakwas. Shepard was forced to continue grudgingly. "Okay, so it has happened a couple of times. I'll let the Doc take a look at me."

With an unnecessary hand back to her feet from Liara, Shepard turned to Javik. "Sorry about that."

Javik was regarding her with a strange expression on her face. Given that he was the only Prothean Shepard had ever met, she couldn't read him. "I only intended to read your emotions, Commander Shepard, I merely wanted to discover the type of individual you are. That reaction was...unexpected"

"You could have just bought me a drink," Shepard suggested.

Javik frowned. "What would that achieve?"

Shepard smiled wryly. "It was a joke."

"Humour? You humans are very strange indeed," Javik said, shaking his triangular head.

"Shepard?" Liara tugged impatiently at her elbow even as Shepard tried to ignore her. "You are accompanying Dr Chakwas to the medbay...now."

Javik regarded Shepard with a level stare. "I sensed enough to know that you will not disregard the words of that particular asari, but before you leave I must also tell you that I learnt many other things about you and your race from the brief contact, the most important of which is that you are actually losing your war against the Reapers. It would be irrational for me to choose to assist you-"

"We're still fighting," Shepard growled determinedly. "We'll continue to fight until the Reapers are defeated or our races are wiped out in the process, but we will never stop fighting, and we will never surrender. I will never surrender."

Javik nodded sagely. "And that, Commander, is why I will join you in your fight."

 


	17. Cry of the Banshee

**North America, Earth**

A foul smell assaulted her nostrils as soon as the dressing was peeled away from her wound. Second-Lieutenant Lucy Park barely even glanced towards the raw, oozing tear in her upper thigh. She pressed her head back against the cave wall behind her and closed her eyes. Complete detachment was impossible as she soon felt a searing sensation rip through her body. It was just water being poured over her wound, but as felt as though it were burning her. A hiss of pain escaped through her clenched teeth. When Lucy opened her eyes and looked towards the faint light at the cave entrance, she was seeing through a veil of tears.

"Have you been outside?" Her voice sounded hollow and parched even though she wasn't thirsty.

"A few hours ago," Admiral Anderson replied, sounding the same as he always did – confident, in-charge. "You were sleeping. Still wasn't able to find a way though their lines."

"Trapped like rats," Lucy commented bitterly.

"We'll find a way, Park." Anderson did not sound fazed by her pessimism. He began rebinding her leg with a bandage that was marginally cleaner than the one he had removed. When he finished and offered her his canteen, she shook her head.

"You could make it if you went alone." It was a thought that had occupied her waking thoughts, or at least the ones that had been conscious and lucid. While Anderson's stalwart frame was largely unmarked by wounds save for a few lacerations, her leg wound was causing her great pain. Their small supply of medigel had already been exhausted. It had been necessary, without it she would have died two days ago. Lucy knew that the Admiral made his break alone, he could move quickly and give himself a decent chance of making it through Reaper lines.

"Not a possibility."

The three words were uttered with a fierce finality. Anderson's answer hardly surprised Lucy. She knew he would never willingly leave one of his men behind despite their desperate urgings. Even so, she had to try and convince him. "The Alliance needs you, sir, I'm just a desk clerk who would rather be dead anyway."

"Park-"

"With all due respect, my wife is dead. I don't give a fuck whether we even win this damn war, I've got nothing to fight for anymore." Lucy bit her lip when she was finished her rant. She knew full well that if she'd spoken to Anderson like that in any other situation, she would have been hauled off to the brig. Instead she saw only disappointment on his face, and that hurt far worse than any court-martial.

"I only know what you've told me, but even I know that Susannah would not want to hear you talking like that," Anderson eventually said.

Almost a minute passed. "I know," Lucy replied eventually. Susannah would have given her a metaphorical ass-kicking for even thinking such thoughts. It was an insult to her memory to consider losing, or at least not putting in everything she had to the war effort. She had already put everything in. She'd laid her life on the line constantly since fleeing from Vancouver. It was the reason she was now lying in a dank cave behind enemy lines with her commanding officer. "But I stand by what I said, about the resistance needing you more than me. Sir, please-"

"And I stand by what I said. Not a chance. We're getting out of this together," Anderson said firmly. "Even if I have to carve a path through these bastards by myself."

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

"If you do not remain still, I will strap you down to the bio bed!"

Although Chakwas had lowered the blinds over the windows that separated the medbay from the main crew deck, Shepard still felt exposed. She stood in front of a highly reflective medicine cabinet that clearly showed the inherent design flaws in the gown she wore. There simply wasn't enough fabric to guarantee modesty. Although Shepard was a slender person, it still barely covered her arse. Every time she moved she could feel a chill breeze flowing over her nether regions, and it was not pleasant.

"Come on, doc!" Shepard protested as she padded across the floor back to towards an impatient Chakwas and her threatening omni-tool. "Is this really necessary?" She indicated the paper gown with an expression of disgust.

Chakwas raised her eyebrows. "Please forgive me, _Dr_ Shepard. I did not realise you managed to gain a medical degree somewhere between dying and being imprisoned?"

Taken slightly aback, Shepard meekly followed Chakwas' directions and jumped up onto the edge of the bed. She winced slightly when her bare skin came into contact with the cold surface. "It's at moments like these that I remember why I don't like doctors. Can we please make this quick. It's been almost twenty-four hours since Cerberus last tried to infiltrate a school or blow up a reactor and I'm getting a bit worried that something is about to go down."

As Chakwas passed the omni-tool back and forth over her body, occasionally pausing to check the readings and give a decidedly unreassuring frown, Shepard could barely keep still. Her leg would start swinging of its own accord, until she realised and promptly stopped. Before she knew it her fingers were drumming out a rhythm on the side of the bed. Between the nervous tics and the uncharacteristically babbling conversation, Shepard was worried. She disliked doctors for the pure reason that they knew more about what was going on inside her body than she did.

Finally Chakwas drew the omni-tool away and looked at Shepard directly. "Based on my scans and the symptoms you've described, the most logical diagnosis would be angina pectoris."

"Angina?" Shepard frowned. "Are you trying to tell me I had a heart attack?"

Chakwas shook her head. "Angina often forewarns a heart-attack, but the two things are not the same. Something is clogging your arteries, obstructing the flow of blood to your heart – that is why you experienced the constricting sensation across your chest and the difficulty breathing. However in your case I do not believe the cause has anything to do with the usual causes – bad diets, poor lifestyle choices, family history. It cannot have anything to do with fatty deposits or cholesterol considering you do not actually eat anything. I believe it has something to do with your Cerberus implants. However the only way to be certain is to open you up-"

"Hell no!"

"-but this medbay isn't equipped for that sort of surgery," Chakwas finished, ignoring Shepard's protestations.

"Thank fuck," Shepard said with finality. However she realised how difficult it was to inject any sort of authority into her voice whilst her bare ass was on show.

Chakwas folded her arms across her chest and gave Shepard a long, stern stare that left absolutely nothing unclear as to her feelings on the subject. "Commander, I have lost count of the number of times I have instructed you to take things easy and try a few positive thoughts every now and then. It is no longer simply a case of cosmetic appearances, this is going to threaten your life."

Shepard sighed with exasperation. "My life is being threatened every day. Isn't there something you can give me? Ward off these chest pains until we either win this damn war or die trying?"

"Commander-"

"Look, doc, I respect your authority, but both you and I know that I don't have time to spend lying on my back, recuperating from major surgery. Keep me healthy long enough to defeat the Reapers, then you can open me up and prod around all you want, okay? And if we don't win, then I think a heart attack is going to be the least of my problems."

With one additional disapproving look at Shepard for good measure, Dr Chakwas left Shepard perched on the side of the bio-bed to fetch something from a nearby cabinet. She returned with a small packet but did not immediately do anything. Instead she stood staring at Shepard with a sad expression on her face, as though weighing up her options. Finally she tore open the packet and withdrew a green patch that was roughly an inch square.

"Hold out your arm please, Commander," she ordered. Shepard did so, sensing more than a little disapproval in Chakwas' voice. The doctor took her forearm in a firm grip and turned her arm over. The patch was applied to Shepard's skin on the inside of her bicep. Once finished, she gave Shepard another of the stern looks of which she was so fond. "This is not any sort of solution. I want you to report straight to me for a check-up after every mission. And I'm also ordering you to start looking after yourself - three decent meals a day, at least six hours sleep out of every twenty-four-"

"You have got to be shitting me-"

"If any of these conditions are not met, then I will use my authority to have you relieved of command...or I'll inform Dr T'Soni of the exact nature of your condition, which will be tantamount to the same thing," Chakwas warned her sternly.

"How did you know I had no intention of telling Liara?" Shepard asked, studying the small green patch on her arm.

"Because I know you...and you're a bloody idiot," Chakwas replied bluntly. "Now can I let her in? I fear she may use her biotics to break the door down if we leave her out there much longer."

Shepard gave a small nod as the familiar guilt settled into the pit of her stomach. She knew full well that if she and Liara were to have any chance of a normal relationship then she had to be completely honest with her. However she also knew that Liara would not let her kill herself, even if it was for the war effort. _It wouldn't really be lying would it?_ Shepard thought as she watched Chakwas walk towards the door. Just a mere avoidance of a few facts. Shepard heard the door swish open and Chakwas walked out, trading places with Liara. The nervous-looking asari hurried in. Shepard could tell just how worried she was when she dashed to her side and did not utter a single quip about the paper gown she wore.

"Fit as a fiddle," Shepard said happily, energetically jumping off the bed.

Liara frowned. "What is a fiddle and why does it have anything to do with your health?"

A grin crept across her face. "I meant I'm fine."

"How can you be fine, Shepard? Half an hour ago you were lying in my arms gasping for breath," Liara said, her eyes roving over the Commander's body as though trying to confirm the diagnosis for herself.

Shepard showed Liara the patch beneath her arm to confirm that some sort of treatment had taken place. "Just a severe case of heartburn – what humans call gastric reflux. Guess I need to lay off those spicy foods."

Liara did not appear entirely convinced. As though it would offer her a more correct diagnosis, she pressed her hand against Shepard's face. It felt normal to the touch, and so very soft beneath her hand. She studied the trajectory of scars across the skin, frowning as she noticed that they appeared different from how she remembered them.

"Shepard...have you looked at your scars recently?"

"Nope," Shepard replied. She crossed to a nearby mirror and peered at her reflection. It was something she hadn't made a habit of doing lately. She was far too busy to worry about her appearance and the scars were just simply there, they were inconsequential to her. However one thing she did have was an excellent memory, and if her memory served her correctly, every one of her scars – on both cheeks and above her right eye – had diminished slightly. "Chakwas did say if I looked after myself or occupied my mind with pleasant thoughts then they would heal themselves. Guess all that time spent dwelling on a certain asari was good for something after all, well, other good for something other than making myself frustrated."

Liara was honestly listening to what Shepard said, but it was difficult to concentrate while she was standing with her back to her in the ridiculous gown. As Shepard craned her body left and right in front of the mirror, the paper gown gaped further apart. It revealed an ample amount of Shepard's bare ass, firm and so incredibly inviting directly in front of her. With an angry wrench, Liara dragged her gaze away. She was supposed to be worrying about the Commander's health, not thinking about running her hands over the taut flesh of her body.

Liara swallowed, realising the colour in her cheeks had heightened past all reasonable levels. She looked down at her hands, they were clutched tightly together. "I need to leave you to get dressed."

"I do need to get dressed," Shepard agreed. Not quite realising where Liara was coming from. "This thing is ridiculous." Her uniform was lying at the end of the bio-bed, right next to Liara. She crossed the floor, peeling off the gown as she did so.

Liara's eyes practically bulged at the sudden shock to her system. She let out a completely inadvertent whimper. All further movement was made impossible as her legs turned to jelly beneath her.

"Are you alright, Dr T'Soni?" Shepard asked, the concern entirely fake as she was well aware what she had just done. With swift, confident movements, she grabbed Liara's forearm and pulled her towards her as she perched on the edge of the bed.

'Shepard-" Liara murmured, a pathetic protest. "You need to get dressed."

Her lips fell apart as she devoured the sight of Shepard's naked skin. The gentle curve of her tits and the wiry curls nestled between her legs. Inadvertently, her tongue travelled over her lower lip. How low had it been since she tasted Shepard? However long it was, she had not forgotten the way Shepard's sex felt or tasted beneath her tongue. The delicate folds growing slick with moisture and her clit budding as she manipulated it in exactly the way Shepard liked. Instinctively, one of Liara's hands moved to one of Shepard's breasts and the other to the back of her neck. While fondling the beautiful parcel of flesh with deft movements of her hand, she drew Shepard's lips in close enough for a kiss. It required all her determination to maintain the kiss at a slow, languorous pace and not give into her overwhelming hunger.

"Goddess," Liara heard herself whisper when she came up for air a few moments later. "Are we really going to do this? I thought we needed more time?"

Shepard held Liara's gaze. "Don't you think we've waited long enough?"

Liara bit her lip for a few seconds. They did need more time, and yet she wanted Shepard desperately, even more so than she had wanted her the first night they had slept together three years earlier. "Are you ready?"

Without talking, Shepard gently picked up the hand that was on her breast and manoeuvred it downwards. She guided Liara's hand between her legs and the asari's fingers took over from that point, probing eagerly into her folds. The gasp followed a split second later when Liara discovered how wet she was. Shepard's own mouth parted and a drawn out groan emerged when Liara's hand started moving. She jerked her lips forward, grinding herself hard against her palm.

"Fuck," Shepard murmured, moving in time with Liara. The asari then gently eased one finger up into her cunt. "Fuck!"

_{Commander Shepard?}_ Another voice disturbed the state of bliss in Shepard's mind. _{You have an urgent call from Admiral Hackett on vid-com.}_

Shepard tried to block it out but the words 'urgent' and 'Hackett' stood out all too clearly in Traynor's message. Over the next few seconds everything came crashing back down to reality. Liara gently withdrew her finger and the ache between her legs continued to throb persistently – somehow knowing that satisfaction was moving out of reach.

"Fuck," Shepard muttered angrily. She looked up at the asari standing in front of her. Liara's expression had reverted back to the serious one she had seen the previous night, the wild abandon of the past minute having disappeared once again. "Cock-blocked by the military yet again."

Liara frowned. "Pardon?"

A smile slipped onto Shepard's face as she realised Liara had no idea what she just said. The confusion on her face was adorable. She darted forward and pressed another kiss to her lips. "Don't mind me. I guess I should go take my call."

"Yes, you should," Liara replied sternly, however her eyes twinkled mischievously. "I would suggest getting dressed first."

It was all Shepard could do to keep a straight expression on her face when Hackett asked how she was five minutes later. As she stood in the comm. room with her uniform far from perfect and her hair only hastily thrown into a ponytail, she could only manage that she was 'fine.' If Hackett had called an hour or so later, then she would have been pretty fucking fantastic. As it was, the ache between her legs had faded to a dull, unsatisfied throb.

_{Excellent job on Eden Prime, Commander,}_ Hackett was saying. _{How is the Prothean?}_

"Confused, a little weak...and more than a bit bad-mannered," Shepard explained. "He seems willing to help us. Unfortunately he knows nothing about the Catalyst, or even the Crucible itself."

Whatever Hackett said next was lost as Shepard felt a twinge of annoyance. _He interrupted me mid-fuck to have a chit-chat? I haven't been laid in months and –_

_{Commander?}_

Shepard realised she had been lost to her inner tirade. "Sir?"

_{A call has come in from asari high command.}_

"Asari? I thought they didn't want anything to do with the Crucible?" Shepard asked, clearly remembering her less than stellar conversation with the asari councillor.

_{Apparently they have changed their tune. They have offered full support in the construction of the Crucible and their fleet is mobilising for the final push.}_

"About fucking time," Shepard muttered under her breath.

_{I think they also want our help investigating a distress signal in the Mesana system. It wasn't explicitly asked but from reading between the lines, they are seriously worried about this particular incident. I'm tasking this mission to the_ Normandy _because I know you'll be discreet, and you'll get it done.}_

* * *

 

**Lesuss, Nimbus Cluster, Mesana System**

On the surface, Shepard thought that Lesuss looked like most other garden worlds. However she could see virtually no evidence of cities or inhabitation as the shuttle entered low orbit. It looked largely desolate, almost sad in a way. She turned away from the viewing portal and scanned the interior of the shuttle. It was slightly more cramped than usual. They were dropping into Lesuss almost completely devoid of information, and she for one wasn't going to be caught with her pants down. In addition to Shepard's squad of Garrus, Vega and Liara, Corporal Duquesne led a squad of half-a-dozen _Normandy_ marines.

She peeled away from the window and crossed the shuttle to take a seat next to Liara. "Manage to find out anything additional about the location?"

"Yes, or at least a reason for why the asari want this dealt with quietly. The nav-point is the location for an Ardat-Yakshi monastery."

"Ardat-Yakshi?" Shepard sat up a little straighter. "Like Morinth." The memory of Morinth's seductive power all too clearly sat in her mind. On Omega, while working for Cerberus, she had ended up helpless in the Ardat-Yakshi's arms. She would have succumbed to a pleasurable death if not for Samara's intervention. "What the hell do the Reapers want with Ardat-Yakshi?"

Liara shrugged. "It makes sense that an asari commando squad was sent in first. High Command would want to keep this quiet. But as to why the Reapers would attack, I have no idea. Lesuss is out of the way, there would have been no tactical advantage to striking here."

They were no closer to having that question asked when they landed ten minutes later. Her squad fell out of the shuttle in an orderly fashion. Theirs was not the only presence on the landing pad, another shuttle sat nearby. Its engine was still slightly warm to the touch.

Unfortunately whatever had provided power to the complex had been damaged and the only light came from sporadic emergency lighting – most of which had also failed. Almost as soon as they pressed forward into the monastery itself with only flashlights to guide the way, signs of battle became apparent. The dead from both sides, asari and reaper, littered the ground. The Alliance team encountered no resistance itself, although they began to hear strange, savage shrieks somewhere in the distance. The first time Shepard heard the sound, it sent a shiver down her spine.

"That is one really big strangled cat," Vega remarked, tightening his grip on his Mattock.

"What's a cat?" Garrus asked. Given that they were indoors, the Turian has switched out his trusty Mantis for a Vindicator assault rifle. The sniper rifle was snugly holstered on his back.

"Small, usually fluffy domestic mammals. Humans keep 'em for pets," Vega explained.

"I didn't take you for a crazy cat lady, sir," Corporal Duquesne quipped.

"Stow it, Corp!" Vega growled. "Nothin' wrong with cats."

"Whatever it is," Liara said quietly. "It sounds like something I do not want to meet." She made a point of remembering never to let Shepard have one of these 'cats' that Vega referred to.

The conversation was immediately silenced when Private Naylor, on point duty, held up his hand to indicate a halt. Most of the squad found cover while it was checked out.

"What it is private?" Shepard demanded.

"Can't be sure, Commander," Naylor replied. "Looks like a last stand of sorts though."

Shepard, closely followed by Liara, moved forward to what did indeed appear to be a defensive position. A pair of dead commandos lay crumpled together behind a makeshift barricade of supply boxes. Liara picked up a damaged datapad that lay clutched in the hand of one.

"This was the commando's senior officer," Liara said as she scanned the pad, reading quickly through the relevant information. "It appears that they have initiated a purge of the facility. There's a floorplan here, marked with the nav-point location for a bomb. It's planted in the monastery's Great Hall."

"Right, it's clear that whatever the commandos were doing here, blowing up this place was foremost on their agenda. We search for survivors, and if there are none, blow this place to hell and any Reapers we find along with it," Shepard decided quickly. This place gave her the creeps. As far as she was concerned, the sooner they were out of there the better.. "Any answers we find along the way will be a bonus."

Their squad pressed forward in the direction of the Great Hall. Although they were all on high alert, it was Private Brake on point who first heard the telltale noise made by a reaper cannibal. The pig-like squeal became more pronounced when the private opened fire, his Avenger ripping into the thick armour across its shoulders. With practiced precision, they all fell into cover once again. Shepard opened up with the new Cerberus assault rifle she had picked up on Eden Prime. Vega had dubbed it the 'Harrier' - with its rapid speed the name suited it perfectly. With the armour piercing mod Vega had fitted just a few hours earlier, it seemed to slice through the armour like butter. The small pack of Cannibals was quickly cut down by the well-trained Alliance squad. When the last shots died away, Shepard's excellent hearing picked up the sounds of another Cannibal down in the courtyard below them. However, when she moved to the side to take it out, she suddenly saw it drawn off its feet with a biotic pull. Only a few seconds later, it was detonated with reave.

_Reave? A justicar...it couldn't be..._ Shepard ran to the edge of the railing to have her gut instinct confirmed. Standing below them, wearing the traditional armour of an asari justicar, was her old friend Samara.

"Samara!" the enthusiasm was genuine. During the dark days as she hunted down the Collectors, Samara's wisdom had been one of the few guiding lights in her life. This was despite the difficulty inherent in having presence of another asari around.

"Shepard," the justicar looked up, her face and voice were as emotionless as usual. However her words betrayed her feelings. "It is good to see you again, especially in this of all places."

"You are no doubt here on personal business, justicar," Liara added.

"Yes, two of my daughters are here. I have come for them but it appears the Reapers arrived first."

"How the hell did you know that?" Garrus muttered to Liara.

"Information Broker, remember?" Liara said pointedly. "When will people stop being surprised that I know so much about everything?"

Shepard ignored the conversation playing out behind her, concentrating on Samara. "We'll help you look. No doubt your daughters can shed some light on what the hell the Reapers are doing here."

Samara nodded. However, before she could utter a reply another piercing scream rent the air. This one seemed far closer than the others. "Shepard, I will draw these creatures away from you. I am sure we will meet up soon."

"Wait!" Shepard protested. However Samara paid her no heed whatsoever, instead flaring up her biotics as she disappeared out of view beneath the balcony.

"Looks like we press forward to the Great Hall?" Garrus commented.

"Yeah, I quite like the plan of her heading off the strangled cats," said Vega. "Every time I hear it, I'm more convinced that it's not something I want to tangle with."

"I'm sure we'll meet them soon enough," Shepard added grimly.

"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about," Vega growled.

"Back on your horses people," Shepard called out. "We're following Dr T'Soni's lead so watch for her signal."

"Horse? Cats? You humans really are a strange race," Liara remarked with a wink in Shepard's direction.

With the asari leading the way, the Alliance team once again began moving through the monastery. However this time the screams of the 'creature' Samara had referred to grew louder. They encountered sporadic pockets of resistance from cannibals and marauders but these were easily dealt with.

Shepard had to resist the urge to race to Liara's side every time something opened fire on them. Soldiers on point traditionally suffered the heaviest casualties. However she fought to resist her fear, which she knew was hugely unfounded. Liara was capable of taking care of herself, proving so time after time. Often before the Alliance marines could even bring their fire to bear on one of the bulky cannibals, it was drawn up, squealing helplessly, into one of Liara's singularities. It was often the boom of biotic explosions, rather than grenades, that rang out through the halls of the monastery.

The wide open courtyard caused several alarm bells to ring at the back of Shepard's mind, even as Liara led them down the stairs. There were too many vantage points where they could be fired upon from. Tapping Garrus on the back she signalled to the Turian to hang back so he could cover them with his sniper rifle. Up ahead, Vega and Duquesne were right behind Liara.

There was no warning prior to the screech. They had by now heard it half a dozen times while they had been in the monastery, but this one was in the courtyard with them. It was accompanied by the telltale splatter fire from cannibals sending them all diving into cover. With her heart thumping desperately, Shepard peered over the rim of a planter box and down into the courtyard below. Beside her Garrus was already firing on the cannibals, the Mantis' loud rapports echoing around the courtyard.

"I don't know what that thing is, but it's fucking ugly," he remarked. "And it's got some sort of barrier up, my shots just aren't penetrating."

"Try overloading as though it was a shield," Shepard suggested. _Where the fuck is it?_ Shepard craned her head.

Ugly didn't even begin to describe the creature. Tall, with elongated, stick-like limbs, it was some sort of grotesque parody of an asari - although only the head crests bore any sort of real resemblance to the beautiful alien race. The rest was monstrous, right down to the hideous gaping mouth full of needle shaped teeth, its distended belly and sagging tits. As she was watching transfixed, the thing suddenly sprang forward, teleporting itself between her and the rest of her squad. It was directly behind marine corporal Duquesne.

"Fuck!" Shepard hissed as an awful sensation twisted her gut. "Duquesne! Behind you!"

She was on her feet, the Harrier firing desperately at the creature as she moved. At the same moment one of the limbs jerked forward, piercing Duquesne's chest and using it to haul her aloft. A hail of fire forced Shepard into cover. She could hear the marine's screams echoing off the walls around them. Dragging herself to her feet, she continued forward, gunfire slamming into her shields in an instant.

"Shepard get down!" Something was holding her back, she was dragged down to the ground, behind cover just as her shields flickered and died altogether. It was Garrus, his scarred face glaring down at her. "Are you fucking crazy? We're pinned!"

She managed to scramble to her knees just in time to see the monster take hold of Duquesne's sagging head. The massive claw managed to grasp her entire head. With a sickening crunch that tore at Shepard's soul, it thrust its limb all the way through her squadmate, ripping open her chest and killing her instantly. Like a piece of trash, it then let the dead soldier drop to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The barrier dropped, but it was no less deadly, discharging a warp-like attack that followed Vega as he dived into cover. It slammed into the Lieutenant.

"Fuck, it's eating right through my shields!" he yelled over the comm. "We've gotta take that thing down or its going to make all of us into fucking kebabs."

It then suddenly spread its arms and let out the same piercing wail that was now familiar to them. Recharging its shields and restoring the biotic barrier that encased its body. To her horror, Shepard watched as the creature turned towards Liara and Vega. Both were now cut off from the rest of the squad.

"Garrus!" Shepard panicked.

"I know, I know!" the Turian replied, just as desperately.

However, the combined fire of his Mantis and her Harrier would not be enough to bring it down - not as it suddenly teleported another several metres. Another jump and it would be on top of Liara. The thought of the asari dying in the same manner as Duquesne ushered in a primal yell from the very pit of Shepard's gut. Ignoring Garrus' protests and the incoming fire, she rose to her feet. Another jump, the Banshee was right behind Liara, lunging downwards for her even as she scrambled away. One of the limbs caught Liara a glancing blow, stunning her _. No!_ Shepard was screaming on the inside. Suddenly her desire to throw herself at the creature manifested into reality. The courtyard folded in on itself, much the same as in her dreams. Encased in a fiercely glowing red barrier, Shepard threw herself across the space that separated her from Liara – directly at the creature. She slammed into the asari monster with a cry of rage. All the energy she had built up in her body was directed into her fist, she brought it slamming down against the ground beneath her. The creature was thrown back momentarily, its barriers depleted. Shepard used the opportunity to drag Liara away as Garrus, Vega, Brake and Naylor all opened up in unison. The creature screamed desperately, but with its barrier down its armour was rapidly depleted. With one final, dying scream, it collapsed into nothing but a charred remnant. As the rest of her squad quickly dispatched the cannibals, Shepard looked down at Liara lying in her arms. The asari was staring up at her, blue eyes wide with an expression between fear and amazement.

"Shepard...what did you just do?" she whispered.

"I have absolutely no fucking idea," Shepard said. "And right now I don't care. It saved your life."

"It did," Liara replied, reaching up to touch Shepard's cheek, as if needing to confirm that she was still real.

The moment passed as they both remembered they were in the middle of a war zone. The pair of them rose to their feet, Shepard feeling none the worse for her sudden biotic charge across the battlefield. She toyed with the idea of trying to summon a mass effect field above her hand, as she had seen Liara do countless times, but she only succeeded in making her head hurt in trying.

"Since when did you get biotic implants?" Vega demanded. "Could have let us in on that one."

"I don't have..." Shepard began. Another screech, each member of the squad looked around with their weapons raised. "Time to get moving I think."

Shepard was eager to turn attention back towards the mission at hand as opposed to everyone looking at her as thought she had just sprouted an extra arm. She was the last to leave the courtyard, casting a lingering look in the direction of the crumpled body of Maggie Duquesne.

When they moved through the door at the end of the courtyard, they encountered a cannibal pursuing a lone asari. Before they could open fire, a fast moving shape leapt down between the struggling asari and the reaper. Samara dealt with the cannibal efficiently. At the moment she turned, the asari gasped. "Mother? You came!"

"This is one of your daughters?" Shepard asked, pressing forward.

"Yes, this is Falere, my youngest," Samara replied. "Where is your sister?"

"They have Rila!" Falere gasped. "I watched them drag her away in the direction of the Great Hall. They're going to make her into one of those things! We've got to stop them."

"After what I've seen, we need to put as many of these things down as possible," Shepard stressed.

Following Falere's lead, the group made it to the Great Hall quickly and without further incident. Although every time Shepard turned to check on Liara, she found the asari looking at her with a strange expression on her face. She pushed it to the back of her mind – concentrating on the mission at hand. Thankfully, the hall was deserted when they arrived, save for one lone figure on the raised dais at the end. Shepard deployed the bulk of her squad in a defensive perimeter and joined Samara and Falere as they ran forward.

"Rila!"

Even as Falere's cry went up, it was almost drowned out by a chorus of wailing creatures – dozens, if not hundreds all at once.

"We're running out of time," Shepard hissed at Samara. "We've got to get the hell out of here."

They reached Rila, she appeared weak. Her head was downcast as she sagged against what Shepard immediately recognised as the bomb the commandos must have deployed.

"Rila!" At Falere's second cry, her sister jerked her head up and opened her eyes. They were not what she had expected. Obsidian blackness greeted them, soulless...evil. Falere gasped and shrank back. "What has happened to you?"

"They have begun to convert her into one of those creatures," Samara replied, a distinct but slight tinge of sadness to her voice. "It is too late-"

"No! It can't be...Rila?"

Her sister seemed to be struggling against the force that clawed at her insides. She grasped desperately at her head. A few moments later, when she looked up, her eyes were once again those of a normal asari...but desperately frightened.

"Mother is right, it's too late for me...I hear then in my head...I hear the cry of the banshee."

"Banshee?" Shepard whispered, a chill coursing through her body.

"But it's not too late for you. You must go!" Rila awkwardly shoved her sister, pushing her away.

"I'm not leaving you-" Falere began.

"There are hundreds coming...I will take them all with me," Rila said. She withdrew something from behind her back. Shepard immediately recognised it as the detonator to the bomb. "You need to get to the elevator, now!"

With little ceremony, Shepard began rounding up her people, leaving Samara and Falere to say a brief goodbye to their sister and daughter. While Samara showed little emotion, Falere was clearly distraught. She was still struggling, even as Shepard had Vega pick her up and bodily carry her back towards the elevator. In the moments before the doors closed, they saw dozens of banshees entering the Great Hall from a number of access points, all converging towards the bomb at the head of the hall. With Falere's desperate cries still echoing in their ears, the doors swished closed. Less than thirty seconds later, the entire elevator shook with the force of the bomb detonated by the brave Ardat-Yakshi.

It was only when they made it outside and looked back towards the monastery that they realised the destructive extent of the bomb's blast. The bulk of the complex lay in ruins, much of it was burning, sending huge columns of flame and smoke into the night sky.

"Now we know what the Reapers wanted with the Ardat-Yakshi," Liara whispered sadly. She collapsed down to one knee through a combination of exhaustion and sadness. "All those people...turned into those...things. It is awful."

"Let's not dwell on this place any longer than necessary," Shepard crossed to her side and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder for just a moment. She tapped her comm. link and called Cortez for an immediate retrieval. She then looked towards Samara and Falere. "We'll take you both back to the Citadel."

Samara turned to look at Falere, whose head was downcast. "I will accompany you, Commander, but unfortunately my daughter must remain here."

"You're leaving her here?" Shepard replied incredulously.

"Yes, the code dictates that an Ardat-Yakshi cannot live outside a monastery. She must stay here, or I would be forced to kill my own daughter."

"I will stay here," Falere agreed, a strength and resolution returning to her voice. "I will stay here and honour my sister's memory, and my own code. This is home, whatever has become of it."

"And if the Reapers return?" Shepard asked.

"Then they won't take me alive," the determined asari replied.

Shepard gave only a short nod, admiring her courage in the face of what had just happened. She backed away, giving mother and daughter space to say their goodbyes. Shepard watched as Samara walked back towards the ruins, her shoulder almost touching that of her youngest daughter. It was time that they could ill-afford to waste, especially if the Reapers chose to come back, but Shepard did not begrudge the justicar a few moments of peace. Shepard looked back towards the ruined monastery with an air of resignation. She could not afford to dwell on each squadmember she lost, but the thought that it could so easily have been Liara was a sobering thought. If she asked herself whether she valued Liara's life more highly than that of Duquesne, or even a friend like Vega, she would honestly have to reply in the affirmative. It was that thought that had enveloped her mind as her body reacted violently to the sight of Liara in danger. Shepard knew her newfound biotic powers ought to be worrying her at least a little, but at that moment in time the only thing she felt was gratitude.

When the asari herself came to stand at her side, Shepard surprised herself by reaching out for Liara's hand. She enveloped the asari's gloved fingers in her own, squeezing them firmly.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" Liara asked quietly.

Shepard turned to face her. The only evidence of Liara's struggle with the banshee was a gaping hole in the armour at her right shoulder. She reached out to investigate it with her free hand, seeing how close it had come to tearing through Liara's skin. "You'll want to order a new shoulder piece when we get to the Citadel."

"Should I try something in red to match your armour?" she asked.

Battlefield humour served a purpose, bringing smiles when otherwise there would be nothing but depression. However Shepard found it difficult to summon a smile. With a shake of her head she replied, "I like you in blue and white...no, I love you-"

She cut herself short and, before she or Liara could fully appreciate what was happening, their lips met in a tender but insistent kiss. Shepard allowed her lips to part slightly as an eager Liara pressed forward to intensify the contact. Again it felt fresh and new and a small part of Shepard's brain wondered just how it was possible for two people to experience their first kiss more than once. However, the far larger part of her brain was occupied in trying to process the delicious sensations that were coursing throughout her entire body. Not those primal urges that she had felt in the medbay earlier that day, but something far more precious. For another glorious minute they remained pressed together. When they eventually did part, it was with an element of reluctance and they both leaned in for another light brush of their lips.

"Shepard," Liara whispered, she took a hesitant step forward, as though wondering whether it was possible to get quite that close to the Commander while still on the field of battle. Shepard solved it by placing an arm around the small of her back and drawing her firmly against her body. A small sigh escaped Liara's lips as she leaned her cheek against Shepard's grimy armour. "Did you just kiss me in front of your men?" she asked quietly.

"I do believe I did," was the calm reply.

"I love you, Shepard," the asari said, clutching onto the Commander in a firm grip. She exhaled again. "I am...scared. These things that are happening to you, I do not understand them."

Shepard ran her fingers gently along the length of Liara's crest. She closed her eyes for just a moment. "You and me both, Liara." _Heart attacks? Sudden manifestation of biotic abilities? Shepard, you are well and truly fucked up._

The sudden thought only served to make her tighten her hold on Liara.

 


	18. Blue and Red

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Shepard lifted her bottle of Krogan brandy up to the light and was dismayed to find that it was almost empty. She poured a small measure into a glass and carefully replaced the stopper. As far as current crises went, it was a relatively small one. However, it wasn't just a case of putting in a requisition order for another crate and that was depressing.

As she lifted the glass to her lips, she heard the door to her quarters open. She didn't need to ask who it was. Just that morning she had mentioned to Liara to stop asking for permission to come into her quarters. It was a comforting, almost domestic arrangement, the downside of which Shepard realised when Liara scowled dangerously at the sight of the glass in her hand. Without letting a single drop pass her lips, Shepard set the glass down.

Liara was carrying two mess trays. Without saying anything, she handed one to Shepard and took a seat on the sofa beside her.

Entirely unenthused by what she found when she peered down at her meal. It appeared to largely consist of a large glob of green paste. Shepard forgot to censor herself before she spoke. "What the hell is this?"

Unperturbed by Shepard's rudeness Liara replied quite calmly, "Your dinner."

"It's green," Shepard pointed out unhappily. "Is it actually food?"

"Shut up and eat it."

A few half-hearted stabs with her fork followed, shifting the food around on the plate, before Shepard shovelled some of the green goo into her mouth. It was oddly textured and largely tasteless.

"While we eat you can explain why you lied to me in the medbay yesterday," Liara said as she regarded Shepard with an impassive expression.

The half-chewed food sat in a congealed lump in Shepard's mouth _. Shit, shit and fuck_. "Liara-"

The thud of Liara's tray hitting the table effectively silenced Shepard. "A part of me feels like throwing this food in your face." Liara's expression shifted to one of transparent anger. "Heartburn? I cannot fathom how you ever thought I would fall for that. How stupid do you think I am-"

"I don't think-

"You were struggling to breathe, Evan!" Liara ignored Shepard's protest. "I was holding you in my arms and I knew exactly how much pain you were in because I felt it too."

"I was trying to protect you," Shepard replied in a small voice.

"You of all people she know that I do not need protecting from anything. Especially not from something like this." Some of her anger disappeared. She sighed. "How broken were the two of us while we were apart?"

"Fucking broken," was Shepard's eloquent reply.

"Precisely. For all your many...many, many faults, the Goddess in her infinite wisdom has intended us to be together – now more than ever," Liara explained, fighting to remain patient. "I love you, and I always will – which is why I do not understand why you would feel the need to lie to me. I need the truth."

"Chakwas is worried the Cerberus implants are somehow blocking off the flow of blood to my heart but in order to confirm it, she needs to prod around inside me-"

"You need surgery?"

"There is no way in hell I am letting the doc cut me open! Not at this point in time, not when so much is resting on my shoulders." She forced herself to draw in a deep breath before continuing. "She said if I change my habits, get more sleep...proper food, and get regular check-ups, I should be able to mitigate the problem without resorting to surgery. For now."

With all the nervous energy building up, Shepard abruptly set her food down on the table and stood. She paced, turning her back on Liara. It was only when she lowered her head and closed her eyes that they came.

"Liara, please. I need you to be realistic about this relationship...about us. When I walked away from you on the Shadow Broker's ship, when I told you it was over, it had nothing to do with me being angry at you. In fact, it was the moment that I first realised I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Each step that took me further away from you was like stepping on knives. I...I walked out because I can't change who I am. I'm a soldier, it's my job to put my life on the line. I didn't want you to put everything you had into a relationship with someone like that. Whatever way you look at it, I'm going to die before you. Tomorrow, ten years, fifty years only if I'm fucking lucky. I didn't want to leave you behind. I'm sorry I lied, but-"

Shepard was interrupted when she felt a sudden, soft contact against her cheek. She had been entirely unaware that Liara had left the couch and had moved to stand beside her. Without speaking she continued forward, sliding her hand around the back of Shepard's neck so she could draw her into a fierce hug.

"I can accept who you are," she whispered into Shepard's ear. "And if I have you for one more day, or a thousand, I will be grateful to have had you for that time."

"I'm yours," Shepard replied, her voice tight. She tenderly stroked the ribbed skin at the base of Liara's skull. "I'll eat the damn green goop."

"Sleep, check-ups?" Liara probed.

"Yes to everything. I promise."

Fifteen minutes later, with her plate empty and the food sitting uneasily in her stomach, Shepard sat contentedly on the couch. She felt slightly indulgent. Her feet were kicked up on the table in front of her and Liara's head was resting in her lap. The rest of the asari's body was stretched out on the couch. Her blue eyes were hidden behind closed lids and a small smile was fixed on her face.

"You know," Shepard broke the comfortable silence. "It's been at least an hour since anyone tried to contact me. I reckon we're in for a quiet night."

"You of all people should know the pitfalls of making such a statement," Liara murmured. "I have urgent work waiting for my attention."

"Glyph will inform you of anything important," Shepard pointed out. One of her hands was tracing delicate patterns on Liara's face and neck. "Stay with me tonight."

"Evan." Liara started to shake her head. "You know I-"

"Please?"

The smile on Liara's face widened at Shepard's slightly pathetic attempt to coax her. "Fine, if only to ensure you get a decent sleep."

"Yes, since sleep was definitely the only thing on my mind," Shepard replied quickly. She nodded firmly. "Sleep."

With a knowing smile, Liara eased herself up out of Shepard's lap and stretched her neck. The smile was replaced by an earnest expression as she turned to study the face of the human woman sitting beside her. Aethyta had been right to say that Shepard was an unsuitable mate. If she was to be at all practical about their relationship then she ought not to have let it progress beyond the energetic sex they shared on the first _Normandy_. It should have remained a typical maiden's fling – enthusiastic, fleeting and completely impractical. However the difficulty had always been in letting go of Shepard. Even death had not been enough to sever their bond.

Despite the fact that she was only 109, Liara felt as though the years of her maidenhood were already behind her. From the moment she lay sobbing in Ashley's arms on the deck of the _El Alamein,_ to her single-minded hunt for Shepard's body, and descent into the life of an information broker, everything she had done had taken her further away from the maiden she had been. After all that she had done, could Shepard still want her? There were days when she looked in the mirror and did not recognise the person staring back at her.

"Are you alright?" Shepard asked tenderly, reaching out for her.

Gently darting away from Shepard's touch, Liara stood. Her hands went to the clasps of her jacket, lingering there as she hesitated. Shepard stared back, her brow furrowed. It took one long moment to undo the first clasp, stretched out by doubt and indecision. As Liara moved to the second and third, clarity formed and each successive movement became more instinctive. She peeled away her jacket and tossed it to the floor before drawing her undershirt off in a fluid motion. Shepard's old dog tags were caught up in the movement before falling back against her skin with a quiet clink. At that point, Shepard's eyebrows lifted in surprise, but she said nothing. As each layer was removed, Shepard's lips began to part and spots of colour appeared in her cheeks. When Liara eventually discarded her underwear, she was left completely naked save for the dog tags around her neck.

Liara had always accepted the fact that she wasn't a great beauty by asari standards. Her skin was too pale and the freckle-like markings across her nose and cheeks had always seemed pathetic when compared to the striking, vibrant markings of many other asari. Those maiden-ish doubts faded to the back of her mind as she stood in front of Shepard. Seeing the palpable need on the human's face was one thing, but there was something else there too. Something even more fierce. Love.

With her hands gripping the edge of the sofa, Shepard tried to swallow. Her throat felt like sandpaper. Her first reaction had been entirely physical. Staring at Liara's naked body, devouring each and every detail as though she could ever forget. From her perfectly proportioned breasts to the mottled markings at the apex of her legs. Lithe and absolutely perfect.

_She's offering herself to me._ The realisation came slowly, but in hindsight it was all too obvious. The way Liara's hands were at her sides, palms facing her. Everything was laid open, even the hopeful expression on Liara's face. A flicker of doubt crossed Shepard's mind. Did she even deserve such trust?

When Shepard finally stood, her legs trembled beneath her weight. She smoothed her sweaty palms on her uniform and moved out from behind the table. Every movement from that point on was deliberate and carefully considered. Her fingers trembled as she reached out to touch Liara's face, fingertips only barely grazing her skin. The contact felt electric, the tiny hairs on her arms pricked up instantly. Although the desire to pick Liara up and carry her to the bed was strong, she restrained her touch. From the soft skin of Liara's cheeks, she moved downwards, over her neck and shoulders with both hands, exploring and reacquainting herself with the asari's shape. With an almost reverent touch, she picked up the dog tags and ran her thumb over one.

"You wore them all this time?" Shepard let the tags fall through her fingers.

"They were the only part of you I had."

Shepard then hesitated, nerves getting the better of her. She knew exactly what she wanted, but the moment was overwhelming. Liara gently picked up her hands and lifted them to her breasts.

"Touch me, Evan," Liara whispered. "Please."

With a tremulous exhale, Shepard pressed her fingers against Liara's breasts. At first just reacquainting herself with the texture of Liara's skin - slightly pebbled and altogether entrancing. Familiar in the best possible way. Growing bolder, Shepard flicked her thumbs against Liara's nipples. As a desperate sigh whispered from Liara's lips, they quickly hardened beneath her touch, blossoming to a dark violet colour. Shepard then ducked her head and took one in her mouth, causing the sigh to become a murmur of pleasure.

Eagerly, she trailed her tongue down over Liara's taut stomach, her hands following. Frustrated that she could only touch so much of Liara's body at once, she stroked, grasped and claimed every inch of the soft blue curves as her own.

Eventually she found herself exactly where she wanted to be, kneeling directly in front of Liara's sex. There was time for a quick grin as she soon felt a firm, impatient hand on the back of her head, guiding her in. Shepard inhaled deeply. Liara's arousal was intoxicating.

Liara let out a soft cry as Shepard's tongue gently prised the folds of her sex apart. With her hands, she nudged her legs further apart. As Liara complied, spreading herself for Shepard, she knew that she had become a slave to her touch. She had intended to be the one in control as she guided Shepard's head in against her, but it was soon clear that the only person in control was Shepard and her devilishly manipulative tongue. As the soft organ pressed gently against her clit, Liara couldn't hold back the ragged groan born of years of longing. She felt a sudden flood of warmth between her legs as her body responded just as eagerly.

"Goddess, Evan," she whispered. The gentle touch suddenly became a series of firm strokes and her legs shuddered uncontrollably as she cried out. "Evan! Goddess...I will fall..."

Shepard dragged it out a few moments longer out of reluctance to part company with that delicious taste. It was only when she felt Liara about to collapse above her that she finally stood. With supportive hands, she prodded the compliant asari backwards in the direction of her bed. As they tumbled down, Liara's fingers wrapped themselves in Shepard's clothing, fumbling urgently with the buttons. In her haste to strip, Shepard ignored the popping buttons and tearing of cloth as she fought to free herself from the confines of her uniform.

Thoroughly naked alongside her asari for the first time in almost three years, Shepard paused to appreciate the moment. A stupid, probably lopsided, grin creased her face. It disappeared only when she and Liara initiated another kiss. It was slow and languorous at first, yet with an undercurrent of urgency from the knowledge that they could be interrupted at any moment, the tempo soon increased until they were writhing, bodies perfectly entwined.

It could have been minutes, or hours later, Shepard was no longer aware of time, she felt the familiar stirrings of biotic energy surrounding her body. When she opened her eyes, she found Liara poised above her, the mass effect field rippling out from her beautiful curves.

"Are you ready?" Liara asked breathlessly.

Incapable of forming words, Shepard merely nodded. The sapphire blue of Liara's eyes was abruptly replaced by depthless obsidian and Shepard felt an overwhelming surge of emotion spread throughout her body as she closed her eyes and gave herself over to the meld. The pure joy of being joined to Liara after so long led to the emotions manifesting an indecipherable white noise that was, by its very essence, comforting and familiar.

_Evan?_

Shepard just wanted to touch and feel. Were words really necessary? It was then she realised that Liara's mouth was not moving. The only words spoken were in her mind.

_Evan?_ Liara prodded in an insistent tone. _Open your eyes._

Shepard reluctantly peeled back her lids. Liara was still above her, but she no longer felt the bed beneath her back. She turned her head slightly – used to seeing the blue fields cradling their bodies, she was surprised to see the blue streaked through with entwining strands of red energy. For a split second, her surprise almost gave way to fear and she felt the meld slipping. They would have crashed back down to the bed but for the reassuring touch of Liara's mind.

_What is it?_ Shepard asked.

_You,_ Liara replied simply. She caressed the side of Shepard's face with her own cheek, nuzzling against the hot skin.

_Me? My field?_

_Yes. Evan, I cannot understand it properly, but...there is something I cannot reach, but I think that it is safe._

_It is?_ Shepard asked, her own tone worried.

_Yes._ The laugh from Liara was one of relief. _Now can you please make love to me...unless of course you would rather stare at the pretty colours?_

The worry disappeared almost immediately. Some part of Shepard nodded in response, but she wasn't sure whether it was just in her head. Her physical body however very quickly responded to Liara's request. As she gave herself over to pleasuring Liara and being pleasured in return, she too could sense the change in their sex. It felt more intense, less like fucking and more like a joining. In the physical world it was Liara's fingers driving upwards into her cunt, and yet it felt as though Liara was truly inside her, filling her body with the most intense sensation of love she had ever felt. A ripple of conversation passed between them, but it was mostly intelligible exclamations, neither needing to tell the other where they needed to be touched.

When their orgasms came at an undefined time much later, Shepard felt the waves cascade throughout Liara's body as well as her own. Their cries came in tandem, one voice rather than two. When they finally did crash back down to the bed in a sweaty tangle of exhausted limbs, they barely felt the impact.

It took minutes before speech was possible and even then it was simply Shepard gasping, "Holy fuck." At her side, Liara merely gave a sort of sound akin to a cat's purr as she nuzzled securely into her damp flank and closed her eyes. Trying not to disturb the asari, Shepard lifted up the arm that wasn't wrapped around Liara, studying it as though she thought the mass effect field might have lingered. She tried, but had no idea how to summon it once again.

_Safe_ , Liara had said. It didn't explain why something in her chest was trying to kill her but, post the best sex she'd ever had, Shepard could only feel reassured.

"Liara?" Shepard asked in the barest whisper. She thought perhaps the asari had drifted off to sleep.

"I am still awake." The response was only mildly drowsy despite their exertions.

"I have something to ask you, but I'm not sure how to say it," Shepard began.

"I will only say no if you ask me to fix you a drink. Otherwise, I am all yours," the asari said playfully.

Shepard chuckled nervously. _Shit, why is this so much harder than going up against a whole company of Geth Pyros?_ "In asari society, how do two people decide when to become bondmates?"

Liara stirred slightly, as though shrugging off any vestiges of sleep. "Why would you want to know such a thing?"

"Just asking for a friend."

"Well, when this _friend_ finds an asari, all they need to do is ask."

Shepard swallowed. Her throat was dry once again. "But what if she doesn't say yes?"

"I don't know," Liara murmured as she smiled and nuzzled against Shepard's neck. "It depends on whether you have asked her father for permission." Her smile broadened as she felt Shepard's heartbeat increase beneath the palm of her hand.

Shepard frowned. "Liara, you know I've met your father...and I'm still not entirely convinced that she likes me. In fact, those asari commandos she gave you? I'm pretty sure they also have orders to bump me off if I put a toe out of line when it comes to you."

A light laugh bubbled from Liara's lips. "They have no such orders. Why would my Dad ask others to do a job she is perfectly capable of doing herself?"

"This proposal isn't quite turning out how I imagined it," Shepard whispered in dismay.

"You've imagined this moment?" Liara asked, clearly enjoying herself.

"Yeah, I guess I have. Once or twice. Although we are always somewhere nicer than my quarters. A beach perhaps-"

"You hate the beach."

"It was just an example. Somewhere nice, beneath the stars."

"We are beneath the stars," Liara said as she looked up at the window above them. The starlines were whizzing by as the _Normandy_ moved through space.

"And I had something to give you, I don't know, like a proper piece of jewellery instead of a pair of battered old tags. Don't forget, this is in my head where I actually have the patience to shop for such things. But I also wonder when we would ever be in such a place, without the war...none of that matters. We're here together and I want to ask you to spend the rest of my life with me."

"What are you waiting for then?" Liara asked.

Shepard gently rolled out from beneath Liara and over onto her side so she could see her clearly. Her old dog togs were nestled between the asari's breasts. She reached out and ran her fingers over them for a moment. When she looked up into her patient eyes, she felt an unexpected ache in her throat.

"Dr Liara T'Soni, will you give this humble human the honour of being your bondmate?"

"You're not humble, Commander Shepard," Liara whispered, her eyes starting to well up at the sound of Shepard's voice – the sincerity and earnestness nearly pushed her over the edge. "But yes, I will."

An overwhelming urge to grin like a silly schoolgirl gripped Shepard. She practically lunged across the small gap between them and embraced Liara, kissing her soundly.

"This doesn't mean you will get out of speaking to my father," Liara added when they finally drew apart.

"Can I take it back?"

Liara laughed and used her strength to push Shepard onto her back. In lithe, graceful movements, she straddled her stomach and pinned her to the bed. "Sorry Commander, the deal is no longer up for negotiation."

* * *

 

_The odd thing about dreams was that Shepard could never be sure whether they were prophetic, or merely just the product of her sometimes tortured, often overactive mind. The fact that she wondered this as she stood in the midst of a dream, meant that this particular dream was odder than most. She was staring down at the boots of her N7 armour – the same armour she had worn during her ill-fated attempt at planetary re-entry without a spacecraft. It was the same armour that was now charred and twisted – entirely present in the physical world as a helmet on her desk, pieces of Legion's armour and, at one time, a shrine in Liara's apartment on Illium. Her boots were surrounded by a harsh-looking black gravel. She knelt in it, retrieving a handful of the sharp-edged stone. It was a barren surface, seemingly incapable of supporting much beyond an inability to make bare skin bleed. Letting the stone slide out of her gloved fingers, Shepard stood and gazed up at the sky, there were three pale moons blinking down at her._

_The landscape stretched away in the distance, unbroken until several massive shapes rose vertically from the surface. Angular, perfect and recognisably Prothean – especially to someone who was as intimately familiar with the culture as Shepard._

_When the first pains started in her chest, Shepard responded with anger instead of fear. "I'm supposed to be safe!" she growled to herself, gritting her teeth and refusing to let the pain force her to drop to her knees. "What the fuck is it? What the fuck are you trying to tell me?"_

_Solution..._

_What? Did I say that? Shepard stared harder at the Prothean ruins in the distance. Something seemed to be speaking to her. She managed less than half a dozen paces before she had to stop, gasping for breath._

_For fucks sake, stop! I'm trying to listen to you goddammit!_

_Abruptly, the pain was gone and Shepard was able to stand straight._

_Solution..._

_She whirled around, thinking that perhaps there was someone else behind her. Only the dark, forbidding landscape stretched out ahead of her. Shepard forced herself to draw a ragged breath._

_What are you trying to say to me? she asked._

_The only response was silence._

Shepard was used to waking up drenched in sweat and gasping for breath, but this time her eyes simply opened. The haze of sleep gradually passed and the first thing her eyes focused on was the peacefully slumbering visage of her soon-to-be bondmate. Liara was fast asleep and only responded with a satisfied mumble as Shepard reached out and folded her into against her chest.

"I don't know what it is, or what it's for, but we've got a solution," Shepard whispered – for her own benefit as opposed to the sleeping asari's. "I just need to find out what the bloody heck it is."

 


	19. No Impact, No Idea

**Citadel, Widow**

She'd been standing outside Purgatory for less than a minute, but the pulsing beat emanating from within was already giving Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams a headache. She stepped out of the flow of patrons far more eager than she to enter the club and moved to one side. Ash was well aware that the Batarian bouncer was staring at her as though she was already three sheets to the wind but she didn't care. Instead she propped her body up against a nearby wall and folded her arms stubbornly across her chest.

_This is ridiculous. I am not setting foot in that club_ , she told herself firmly. Her expression fixed into a scowl. _And certainly not because I was asked to by Miranda fucking Lawson._  

If the music was loud outside Purgatory, inside it throbbed even more incessantly – filling all of the pauses that were usually reserved for thoughts with a wall of sound. Ashley gave the throng a cursory glance, but the place was packed to the gunnels. There was no way she could spot Lawson. Instead she made her way to the bar and ordered by simply pointing toward the scotch. The bartender sloshed a double into a glass which she promptly drained in one smooth motion. She slammed the empty down on the bar and jerked her head to order a refill.

The dark corner she found wasn't nearly dark enough for her liking, but it was as removed as it was possible to be from the crowds and the music. Ash pressed her shoulder against the wall and watched the ebb and flow of the crowd as she scanned for the Cerberus bitch. Usually she prided herself on being observant. Having a sharp eye in the midst of a fire-fight often meant the difference between life and death – for you or your buddy on the line.

"And I had thought this was a social engagement."

The words were murmured so close to her ear that Ashley felt more than just warm air flowing over her skin. She felt the unmistakable brush of lips several times, each one sending an electric jolt down her spine. Her first instinct was to spin on her heels and throw her drink in the bitch's face. She surprised herself with her own restraint. Instead Ash lifted her glass to her lips. The cool liquid left a trail of fire in its wake as it slid down her throat, much like the one that was raging in her stomach. She lowered the glass and occupied her twitching, nervous fingers by tracing circles around its wet rim.

"This is a social engagement, Lawson." Ashley did not understand why her voice sounded so ineffective. "You can tell by the fact that I'm carrying a pistol instead of a shotgun." The weight of the Carnifex strapped to her leg was decidedly reassuring. "And you're still standing. I'd offer to buy you a drink, but then you might get the mistaken impression that I can actually stand you."

"We definitely wouldn't want that," Miranda replied. Ashley could tell by the sound of her voice that the damn woman was smiling. "I guess I shouldn't have bought you this then."

Reluctantly, Ashley disengaged her body from the nonchalant leaning position in which she felt secure. When she turned to face Miranda Lawson she felt strangely awkward in the face of both the smile and the glass extended towards her.

_Why am I not surprised she knows what I like to drink?_

Ash took the scotch for the simple fact that she didn't like the way Miranda's proximity made her feel. She had to suppress a sigh of relief when the other woman's hand fell back to her side. Ash used the pretence of setting down her empty to put some much needed distance between them. No thanks were offered before she tilted the glass to her lips. Miranda followed suit with her own drink. Through half-lidded eyes, Ash observed the long lines of her pale white throat. Her gaze wandered, drifting down over the skin-tight black catsuit the woman wore. In comparison, Ashley felt as though her uniform was a sack – especially when her stare remained fixed on the perfectly proportioned amount of cleavage revealed by the suit. Far from being obscene, the shadowed cleft offered the merest hint of an invitation for eyes to linger. Ashley scowled. Her own uniform was decently buttoned up – after all, she was a marine, not some terrorist slut. When Miranda lowered her empty glass, there was a smile playing across her full, red lips.

_What the fuck is she smiling at now?_ Ashley realised belated that her cleavage-directed gaze had not been subtle in the slightest. With colouring cheeks, she practically threw her empty glass down beside the first.

"I haven't got all night, Lawson. What the hell do you want?" Ashley demanded angrily.

"It's nice to see you again too, Lieutenant-Commander Williams." Miranda gently set down her own glass so she could fold her arms across her chest. She appeared completely unfazed by the Spectre's hostile attitude.

"The feeling is not mutual." Ash glowered.

Miranda raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Well at least you showed up."

Bristling noticeably, Ash closed the distance between them until she was virtually standing on the other woman's toes. She caught a whiff of a fragrant scent and almost lost her train of thought. "I'm here solely because of Shepard. You said you had some information that would help the war effort so spill."

"Nope, the information is for Shepard's ears only," Miranda replied with a smirk. "And I knew you weren't about to give me access to the Spectre Terminal unless I could convince you in person."

"The Spectre Terminal?" Ashley asked. "That's what this is about? You want to use it to speak to Shepard?"

Miranda nodded. "Is that a yes?" she asked hopefully.

"What? No!" Ashley fired back. "There's absolutely no friggin' way I'm giving a known terrorist access to Spectre tech. Do you think I graduated from boot yesterday? You can skulk back into your shadows before I lock you up and throw away the key. And how the hell did you even know that I was made a SpecTRe? It hasn't been formally announced."

Miranda tilted her head to one side. "Seriously, Williams? I've been on the run from Cerberus for half a year, you think I had any difficulty in finding out a little piece of information like that? Besides, I was grateful to have an opportunity to talk to you again. We didn't exactly hit it off on Horizon."

"I called you a Cerberus cunt, and I'll happily call you a Cerberus cunt again."

"I just told you I've been on the run from Cerberus-"

"And I don't give a shit."

Ashley turned to leave. She had not even managed a single step before Miranda's hand darted out and seized her wrist in a desperate grip. Angrily, she tried to wrench herself free but the grip was too strong and her effort was inexplicably half-hearted.

The music suddenly increased in tempo. The primal rhythms amped up to something approaching a lustful frenzy. In the pulsing glare of the lights, all Ashley could make out was a sea of heads and raised arms as sweaty dancers lost themselves in the sound. She stared, transfixed as restraints were abandoned and fears were banished. When she forced herself back into the moment, Miranda's touch felt as though it was branding her flesh. She could feel the other woman standing only scant centimetres behind her. When the grip on her wrist became one around her waist, Ashley's mouth went dry. Her entire body felt like putty as she was drawn backwards to close that last, crucial gap that separated her from Miranda. When she felt Miranda's breasts press up against her back and her thighs against her ass, Ashley let out a ragged exhale that sounded suspiciously like defeat.

_Shit, Williams._ She didn't dare move. How _many drinks did you have? There's loneliness and then there's fucking insanity._ The warmth created by the hand pressing gently into her stomach felt almost safe. _Swift, sharp elbow to the gut – disable her and get the hell out before she can react. Swift and sharp -_ Then she felt Miranda's breath close to her ear once again and her knees started to go weak. _Shit..._

"I'm leaving the Citadel tonight but I need to be able to contact Shepard via a secure terminal when the _Normandy_ docks," Miranda said quietly. "The Spectre Terminal is the most secure on the Citadel."

Ashley had to strain to hear her. She still didn't know why she was bothering to listen. "You worked for fucking Cerberus. Tell me again why I should help you."

"Yes, I worked for Cerberus." Miranda's sigh fell across her skin. "I respect your right to hate me for that, but Shepard is the only friend I have. I know you don't think much of me, but that friendship means everything to me. I'm asking you to help me get in touch with her. I need to say goodbye. I have something to do…and where I'm going, I don't hold out much hope of coming back."

Her reaction to Miranda's admission surprised Ashley. She felt a twinge of regret and a strange desire to ensure that the raven-haired woman did not die. Ashley closed her eyes, seeking to understand the confusion that was invading her thoughts. Several minutes earlier she would have happily shot Miranda Lawson herself, now the prospect of her dying seemed – for lack of a better word - wrong.

When Ash found herself incapable of coming up with a reply, Miranda continued, "Look at them...soldiers, civilians...some of them might die tomorrow but they're here because they want to lose themselves in something mindless, they want to enjoy being alive purely for the sake of living. When was the last time you let yourself do that, Williams?"

"I-I..." Ashley struggled to form any sort of coherent sentence.

Ashley fumbled for something familiar to cling to. In her mind's eye she found herself lying prone on a silent rifle range. As she had been taught, she tried to slow her breathing to steady her aim. Somehow her training deserted her and she found that each of her carefully squeezed off shots missed the target completely. The highest rifle score in her intake, and now she couldn't shoot for shit. The only words that sprang to mind were _no impact, no idea_ \- said when a shot missed the target completely.

"Please, will you help me?"

Miranda's cheek pressed into the side of Ashley's neck and her lips moved against her ear as she whispered. The internal rifle range in Ash's head deserted her and instead she found herself alone with Miranda Lawson. In an irrational thought, she imagined taking hold of the hand pressed against her stomach and dragging it down between her legs. Ashley's lips parted subconsciously and she turned her head so that Miranda could hear her reply.

"Yes," she breathed. She was achingly aware that if she turned her head just that fraction farther, their lips would meet. In that instant, everything could have descended into uncharted territory as she unwound completely. However Ashley's eyes snapped open and she turned back to face the dancing crowd. Her breath came in shallow gasps and she felt embarrassed at the fact that Miranda could sense the effect she had on her.

"Thank you," Miranda said. "I promise I'll pay you back somehow."

Ashley shook her head firmly. "That's not necessary. You can pay me back by pissing off."

"Done." Miranda sounded sad. "Unless of course..."

The unspoken invitation was so blatant Miranda may as well have said it aloud. A dozen reactions played in Ashley's head – including the one where she invited the ex-Cerberus operative back to her apartment. Ashley had never been confronted with a situation that would led to her fucking another woman, at least not one as obvious as the one in which she found herself. If she was honest, her reluctance had nothing to do with the fact that Miranda was a woman. First and foremost, Miranda had worked for Cerberus.

While one voice was telling Ashley to spin around and find out exactly what those damn lips tasted like, another was yelling at her to run like hell. In the end, the reaction that won out was complete inaction. Ashley remained immovable, her stare fixed at some unimportant point in the distance.

Then the warmth of Miranda's body was gone. If it was possible, Ashley was both intensely relieved and bereft at the same time. Each breath that came from her throat was laboured and her mouth was dry again. She desperately needed another drink.

When Ashley finally summoned the courage to turn around, Miranda had disappeared into the crowd. Without fully realising what she was doing, a tremulous smile tugged at one corner of her lips for a few moments. The following scowl wiped it in an instant.

"What the fuck did you do to me, Miranda Lawson?" Ashley muttered under her breath as she headed straight to the bar in search of that drink.

* * *

 

Docking Bay D24 was a bustling hive of _Normandy_ personnel flooding ashore for their shore leave on the Citadel. Receiving no special treatment, their CO was sandwiched in the midst of the throng. As they jostled towards the elevator, it was clear there was going to be some degree of patience required for everyone to get to their desired destinations.

Shepard glanced across at the crewmember closest to her, having to resist the urge to reach out and lay a possessive hand on this particular individual's shapely body. As though she knew exactly what Shepard was thinking, Dr Liara T'Soni turned to meet her gaze and responded with a decidedly saucy wink. It was the extent of their interaction. Commanding Officers did not slap the arses of their subordinates in public, even if this particular one happened to be her betrothed. To make matters worse, Liara had chosen to wear a figure hugging asari dress as opposed to her uniform.

"You look gorgeous," Shepard whispered as discreetly as possible. They were waiting in the queue for the elevator. She had to fold her arms across her chest to ensure against inappropriate behaviour.

"Flatterer," Liara mouthed.

Shepard checked the time on her omni-tool. "What time are we meeting your father?"

"You know full well its 1600 hours sharp, Evan. You have already asked me at least half a dozen times," Liara replied in a stern voice.

"I've never asked someone's father if I can marry their daughter before," Shepard whispered, her voice barely audible over the noise in the docking bay. "I'm understandably shitting myself."

"She likes you, trust me." Liara flashed a reassuring smile but Shepard did not look at all convinced. She changed the subject when she saw Shepard starting to sweat. "You are going to see Ashley first?"

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, she asked me to meet her at the Spectre offices which is kind of weird given that I told the Council to fuck off when they offered to reinstate my status."

The elevator doors opened and another group hustled inside, Shepard included. She just managed to squeeze inside and motioned for Liara to follow her. The asari shook her head. "I'll wait for the next one."

Slightly disappointed, Shepard nodded. "I won't be late, I promise." As the door slid closed, Shepard flashed Liara a brief smile. It was at that point that she realised how ridiculously domestic the whole conversation had been. It was almost as though they were not living in the midst of a war.

Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams was leaning against the wall by the Spectre offices as Shepard jogged up the stairs. Williams was wearing her uniform and a broad smile when she saw Shepard. The initial response may have had something to do with the fact that Shepard was wearing her casual officer's uniform. It was the regulation approved attire for starship commanders, but she consistently ignored this rule – amongst many others – and wore the same uniform as her crewmembers. Tucked into a holster at her side was a Carnifex pistol. They were at war, there was no way she would go on shore leave unarmed.

"Looking a damn sight better than the last time I saw you, Shepard," Ashley said.

"That's supposed to be my line," Shepard replied indignantly. "You were the one lying in a hospital bed."

"And you looked like a Krogan's backside. Look at you now, you're even wearing a bona fide officer's uniform for heaven's sake...and there's something kinda odd about that stupid grin you're wearing." Ashley narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain asari by any chance?"

"As a matter of fact..." Shepard tried to talk but a stupid grin kept appearing on her face. "Fuck, Ash, I can't believe I just asked her, it's even harder to believe she said yes."

Ashley lifted her eyebrows. "Yes to what?" she prodded impatiently – although she already had a concrete suspicion.

"Marriage, I mean bondage-" Shepard cut herself off when she realised what had just left her lips. "Whatever the fuck you want to call it – I asked her to be my bondmate and she said yes." Ashley was the first person she had told, and she felt almost giddy finally saying it aloud. She studied Ashley's reaction. The other woman was looking at her with a slightly wary expression. "Get that expression off your face, LC. I'm still the same Shepard, I haven't gone all soft on you. I'm just...happy. Fucking ridiculous for me to be in the midst of a war that could mean the extinction of the human race, but I'm happier than I've ever been." Shepard paused, saying it aloud really did make it sound like an unattainable dream. Her face fell slightly. "Am I right to be doing this? Now? When other things have priority?"

"Now more than ever." Ashley stepped forward and slapped her on the shoulder. The wary expression soon became a broad smile. "Congratulations. All I can say is it's about bloody time you came to your senses. You're one lucky son of a bitch. Liara on the other hand – not so much." She followed up her quip with a wink to indicate she was not at all serious.

Shepard grinned good-humouredly. She already knew she was the luckiest woman this side of the Milky Way. She nodded towards the door. "What are we doing here? You know full well I don't have the authority to get in there anymore."

"Yeah, I know," Ashley replied. She nonchalantly turned around and swiped the lock with her own palm.

It responded in a metallic voice and the door swished open. "Spectre status recognised."

"Unlike you, I didn't have the balls to tell the Council where to go when they asked me to be a Spectre," Ashley commented as she led Shepard into the entrance corridor.

Given that there were so few Spectres and most were already engaged in fighting the Reapers, the pair found that the offices were completely empty. Ashley paused and turned, her face betraying her nervous expectation as to what Shepard would think of the appointment – especially when she had denounced the title so vehemently. In hindsight, Shepard did not feel the slightest twinge of regret at what had been a rather rash decision, but she was proud of Williams.

She extended her hand and Ashley took it, visibly relaxing. "Congratulations, LC," Shepard said as she pumped Ashley's hand firmly. However she stopped and realised that it was ridiculous to simply shake the hand of a woman she had known for years and considered to be one of her closest friends. Using her grip on her hand, she pulled Ashley close for a moment. It was slightly awkward but, after the initial surprise, they both relaxed into the hug for a few seconds. When Shepard stepped back she gave Ashley a decisive nod. "I can't think of anyone who deserves the role more. Where are they thinking of deploying you?"

"You know as well as I do that a Spectre can operate much as they choose, Commander. I think Udina was quite keen to keep me here as a sort of personal bodyguard. I didn't say it to his face, but there's no way I'm spending my time as a Council operative babysitting a guy I can't stand. I politely declined and said that I would be engaged elsewhere." Ashley paused and drew a breath. "Elsewhere being the _Normandy_. As part of your crew."

Shepard was slightly taken aback. "Ash, you're a Spectre. You don't have to slum it on a frigate. And you sure as hell shouldn't have to take orders from me."

"I wouldn't be slumming it. I would be serving under the finest officer in the Alliance Navy, with a crew – friends – I can depend on." Ashley bit her lit. "But I understand if it's not appropriate-"

"Fuck appropriate," Shepard interrupted. "If that's where you want to be then hell, you're more than welcome. We can definitely use your firepower on surface missions."

"You're stuck with me now, ma'am," Ashley replied. "Before I get too carried away, I've got something for you, a message. Can't say I'm at all happy about this, but that Cerberus woman, Lawson, she requested that you contact her through the Spectre terminal. Guess she didn't get the memo saying you were no longer a Spectre."

"No, she knows," Shepard replied with a feeling akin to relief at the prospect that Miranda was safe. For the time being at least. "She also knows how secure that terminal is. Thanks, Ash. I'm sure the Council wouldn't be thrilled about me being left in here unsupervised, so if you don't mind waiting, I'll patch through to her now."

"No worries. I've got a couple of new acquisitions to try out on the firing range. Come find me when you're done."

As Ashley moved away, Shepard located the terminal. The secure line to Miranda was already connected, waiting to be accessed. She hit the command and had to wait only a few moments before a slightly hazy hologram of Miranda Lawson appeared in front of her. The ex-Cerberus operative looked tired, her hair was pulled back into a scruffy ponytail and her clothes looked rumpled, as though she had slept in them. It was one of the few times Shepard had ever seen her ex-lover's standards slip. Miranda was one of those women who managed to look perfect, even when in the midst of combat with a husk hanging around her neck.

"Shepard, it's good to see you – virtually at least," Miranda said with a tired smile on her lips. "I have to say, Ashley Williams took some convincing before she gave me access to this terminal."

"You'll have to forgive her. Ash isn't exactly Cerberus' biggest fan. Although I'm kind of surprised she didn't just give you the cold shoulder...or find a way to have you arrested."

Miranda smirked and her eyes sparkled, some of her fire returned. "I have ways and means, Commander Shepard. Charms that I don't think even the Lieutenant-Commander is immune to."

Shepard raised her eyebrows. It seemed an age since she had fallen into Miranda's arms during their hunt for the Collectors, but Shepard remembered those charms vividly. She knew exactly how seductive the woman could be. If Shepard had not had Liara in her life, it would have been markedly more difficult to push those memories to the back of her mind.

"You've set your sights too high, Miranda Shepard warned her. "I've never known Ash to be attracted to a woman, even one as stunning as you."

Miranda lifted her eyebrows. "I'm hardly stunning at the moment, but I think you've just offered up my next challenge – after I find out what the devil my father is up to of course."

"Your father?" Shepard asked. "This is the important mission you mentioned on the Citadel. What exactly is that bastard up to now?"

"It's big, Shepard. Whatever the hell he is doing, he's up to his eyeballs in it with Cerberus. And you can damn well bet that it isn't in the Alliance's best interests for him to be left to his own devices. I'm going to bring him down if it kills me." Miranda seemed nonplussed by that eventuality. "My contribution to the war effort if you will."

"If it kills you? Miranda, it sounds like you're in well over your head," Shepard said in a worried tone. Their relationship was well in the past, but the last thing she wanted was for her friend to get herself killed. "Let me bring a small squad in on this, we'll uncover whatever the hell your father is up to and that will be the end of it."

Miranda shook her head stubbornly. "I've got this, Shepard, trust me. I just wanted to warn you that The Illusive Man isn't at all happy about what went down with the Turian bomb on Tuchanka. He thought that sending one of his best operatives in would ensure that the job would go off without a hitch."

"That particular operative is now less alive," Shepard commented, thinking back to the crazed asari who had damn near killed her and Liara.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. From what I've managed to pick up on encrypted channels, Aegir wasn't killed in the explosion. You can be sure she's pissed. However at this point in time, I'd say your bigger problem is Kai Leng."

"Kai Leng? Should I have heard of him?" Sheppard asked.

"I'm surprised you haven't. He's former N7, dishonourably discharged in 2176. Although it was before you joined the programme-"

"Shit, I do know who he is," Shepard interrupted. "He's the crazy fucker who murdered a Krogan in cold-blood with just his service blade. He's supposed to be serving twenty years for murder."

"Well, he's clearly not behind bars anymore. And the katana he carries now is his trademark. Please take me seriously when I tell you to watch out for that son of a bitch. He's dangerous, and could definitely take you on in a fair fight. The problem is, where he's concerned, it wouldn't be fair – and you'd end up losing."

"Noted – one crazy asari and one sword-wielding psycho to add to the list of people who won't be getting Christmas cards from me."

"Shepard, please-"

"Hey, I am being serious," Shepard interrupted her. "I'm not taking any chances with these guys, Miranda, especially not now when I'm about to become a married woman."

Miranda raised her eyebrows again, further than that, it was difficult to read her reaction. "I guess congratulations are in order?"

"Yeah, I guess they are."

"Well, all I can say Liara is one very lucky person. I always knew you'd find your way back to her eventually." Miranda turned her head and frowned, as though she was studying something in the distance. "I have to run, Shepard. I'll fill you in when I have more information. Take care of yourself and tell Williams I'll pay my debt in full when I see her."

Shepard chuckled. "It will be my pleasure, but you're the one that needs to take care of yourself, Lawson. I've got a whole damn ship and crew. You're the one out there on your own."

"That's the way I like it."

And with that the image of Miranda Lawson winked out, leaving Shepard staring at the empty holo terminal. Shepard closed her eyes. _Please stay safe, Miranda._

She found Ashley exactly where she said she would be – in the process of unloading a thermal clip at an unfortunate target dummy. Shepard studied the massive sniper rifle Ashley was holding, it looked far too heavy to be much of an effective weapon.

Loosing off the last shot, Ashley set the rifle down with a pleased grin on her face."Black Widow - three-shot clip unlike the standard M-98. Beautiful don't you think?"

Shepard shrugged. "You know sniper rifles aren't my thing, Ash. I wouldn't trade it for the new Cerberus assault rifle I picked up on Eden Prime."

Ashley patted the Black Widow. 'Well, this little lady is coming with me. You all done with that Cerberus woman?"

"Firstly Ash, Miranda is not with Cerberus anymore-"

"Whatever," Ashley interjected.

"-and yes, I'm done."

The pair left the firing range and walked towards the exit. Although the Black Widow had retracted into its storage state, Ashley still needed both hands to carry its bulk. 

"You got time for me to buy you a drink to celebrate your impending nuptials...or doom, whichever way you want to look at it?" Ashley asked as the door swished open and they rejoined the main corridor.

"I wish I did, unfortunately I've got drinks with the future father-in-law." Shepard offered up a wry smile. "There's a high probability that C-Sec will be fish my corpse out of one of the Presidium lakes. Collect your kit, Williams, if by any chance I survive, I'll see you on the _Normandy_."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," Ashley nodded and returned a smart salute.

As Shepard turned to leave, she glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, Ash? I forgot to say Miranda Lawson that had a message for you. She said she'd pay her debt in full when she sees you. Whatever the hell that means."

"Yeah, whatever the hell that means," Ashley repeated in a strange voice.

As the LC turned away, Shepard could swear that her face had turned a brilliant shade of red. She didn't have much time to ponder this interesting development as, owing to her unexpected conversation with Miranda, she was mortified to find that she was fifteen minutes late to her 'social engagement' with Liara and her father.

Shepard ran the entire way to Purgatory. She was completely out of breath when she arrived at the club. Several members of the _Normandy's_ crew had made it their destination of choice for their shore leave so Shepard had to force herself to act at least somewhat normally. She slowed to a brisk walk and tried to keep her greetings to a bare minimum.

After having to turn down several offers of a drink from her crewmembers, she eventually found Liara and her father sitting in a booth in the Lower bar. Shepard was composed enough to hang back for a minute or so to regain her breath. When she finally approached, she was well and truly late. Liara however did not give her the stern expression she had been expecting, instead she smiled happily and slid across the seat so Shepard could sit down. Shepard had to force herself to look up and meet Aethyta's steely eyed gaze.

"Commander Shepard," was all she said by way of greeting.

"Ma'am – I mean, sir - Aethyta," Shepard fumbled. _Shit, I sound like I'm already three sheets to the wind_. At her side, Liara was grinning in amusement. Aethyta on the other hand, did not look amused in the slightest. She continued to stare at Shepard across the table with the look that hinted the possibility that she might leap across the table and skewer her with a sharp implement. "It's good to see you again."

"Wish I could say the same, Commander, unfortunately every time I see you I'm reminded that you're the asshole who's pretending to be good enough for my daughter."

"Dad!" Liara growled. "We spoke about this, you promised to be nice to Shepard."

"Yeah well, that was before she was sitting in front of me and I was reminded exactly how much she annoys me," Aethyta replied.

Shepard felt Liara's reassuring hand on her thigh beneath the table. However, just as she wished she could disappear, the Matriarch's face broke out into what looked like a smile. Shepard thought that it resembled that of a pleased predator, moments before it devoured its prey.

'I'm just shitting with you, Commander. You're so uptight and serious in your little uniform. It's so easy it's almost not even fun. Almost."

"I don't think Shepard owns any clothes that aren't uniforms," Liara remarked, she gave Shepard's thigh a gentle squeeze.

Shepard felt as though she was under fire from all sides. Liara's comment was quite true, everything she wore was navy-issue, but that was beside the point. She expected her lover to at least show some support. It was difficult to even contemplate asking Aethyta the very serious question she had come to ask when both father and daughter seemed to have difficulty taking her seriously. She sighed, figuring she might as well get it out of the way before she lost any shred of dignity she still had left.

"Aethyta, I wanted to ask you something," Shepard began, wishing more than ever that she was allowed a drink – the stronger the better.

"Shoot," the Matriarch replied, managing to get a word out without insulting Shepard.

"Can I have your permission to bond your daughter?" The words tumbled out in a mad rush, falling over one another in Shepard's effort to simply get them out and on the table. Although she had managed it, the confused expression on Aethyta's face told her that they had been completely incomprehensible. She drew in a breath, and made another attempt. She found the words to come more easily when she turned her head to stare at Liara. "I love your daughter, and I want to make a life with her. I know you don't think much of me, but it would mean a lot to us both if you would give your consent to us getting bonded."

Shepard managed to say everything without so much as a stutter. Liara patted her thigh encouragingly, and she turned to study Aethyta's face expectantly. The Matriarch was staring at her as though she had just admitted to stealing Liara's virginity (which she had, but that was beside the point).

"Are you fucking kidding me? Is this human serious?" Aethyta narrowed her eyes as she turned to her daughter and saw that she was fighting to hold back laughter. "Liara T'Soni, did you put her up to this?" She hardly had to ask the question, the guilty, amused expression on Liara's face told her everything. The Matriarch sighed and gave Shepard a wry-faced stare. "Despite all your faults, I always thought you had some measure of intelligence. I see now that I was wrong about that. Do you really think it is asari custom to ask a father permission before bonding their daughter? Most asari outlive their fathers, often long before they get bonded for the first time. It would make that particular custom rather impractical don't ya think?"

Crestfallen, Shepard couldn't think of a reply that was even remotely intelligent. "I um..."

"Still, I'm very impressed that you would actually go through with it. I almost feel as though I'm a part of Liara's life – as well as being close to nausea with the saccharine sweetness of it all. For fuck's sake, of course you can bloody well get bonded if that's what you want."

"More than anything," Shepard grinned, stealing a quick glance across at Liara.

Aethyta groaned. "I think I am going to vomit. Better go get myself a drink. You want one, Commander?"

"Please call me Evan," Shepard felt brave enough to suggest.

"You want a drink, Commander?" Aethyta repeated the question, although this time with deliberate emphasis on the title.

"Yes please, I'll have a-" Liara elbowed her sharply. "-a juice. I'll have a juice."

Aethyta raised her eyebrows. "Juice? Fucking cute. One juice coming up for the great Commander Shepard."

As the Matriarch moved to the bar, Shepard turned back to Liara and felt like inflicting some form of mock punishment on her lover. She settled for cupping her chin with gentle fingers and using the touch to guide her forward for a kiss. She had intended it to be a mere brief meeting of the lips, but the first taste left her wanting more. For several moments the kiss deepened until Shepard had Liara pressed back against the seat behind her. Had a small part of her not been aware of the fact that they were in a public place, her hands would have been all over the asari. As it was, she eventually managed to draw herself away. Her breath fell hot and fast on Liara's cheek as she did so, throwing herself back against the seat behind her.

When Aethyta returned with the ice cold juice a minute or so later, Shepard gratefully took a long slug. She couldn't maintain eye contact with the Matriarch, who no doubt had happened to glance over and catch the heated display of public affection. She was currently sipping her own drink, staring at Shepard out of the corner of her eye. Shepard felt like a teenager who had been caught snogging on the porch – not that she had ever lived in a bona fide house with a porch.

Aethyta drained the dregs in her glass and set it down in front of her. "So Commander, can I trust that you'll look after my little wing?"

"I'm not so little," Liara protested.

"You'll always be little to me, kiddo, always. I guess I just want to reassure myself that your Commander loves you as much as I do."

"You love me?" Liara whispered weakly.

"Of course I do," Aethyta replied quickly. "You're all I have left of Nezzy and what we shared. You know I would have stayed with her, with you both, had she just asked."

"I would have liked that," Liara replied. "You know you can trust Shepard, Dad."

When the Matriarch turned to regard Shepard, her stare was no longer cold or disapproving. "Yeah, I guess I can." She slid out of the booth and rose to her feet. "I guess I'll leave you kids to the rest of your shore leave."

Liara started to stand as well. "You don't have to go."

"Stay in your seat, kiddo."

However Liara ignored the request. She moved to her father's side and threw her arms around her neck. At first Aethyta was reluctant to accept the embrace, but after a few moments one hand went to the small of Liara's back and the other patted her upper arm in a somewhat tender manner.

"I love you too, Dad," she whispered.

"Okay, great, fucking fantastic, can I go now?" Aethyta tried to extricate herself from Liara's clinging arms. When she was allowed to pull away, she turned and looked sternly towards Shepard. "This doesn't mean I'm going to fucking hug you too, Commander."

Shepard threw up her arms as if to indicate that such a thought had never crossed her mind. With a parting grunt of farewell, Aethyta left them both to their own devices. Liara watched her leave before turning to face Shepard once again. She did not sit back down.

"What are we going to do with the rest of our shore leave?" Liara asked with a grin. In the background, the pulsating beat of the music was starting to take on a life of its own. The dance floor, always teeming with energy, was now starting to fill with enthusiastic patrons. Liara extended her hand towards Shepard. "Dance with me, Commander."

Shepard eyed Liara's hand suspiciously. "You know that's not a good idea."

However Liara did not let her hand fall. Instead, she made a rather insistent 'come here' motion with her finger. With a sigh that said she was not at impressed, Shepard drained the juice in her glass whilst pretending it was the strongest alcohol she could lay her hands on. Although she felt slightly sick to her stomach, Shepard nevertheless reached out to take her lover's hand. With a satisfied smile on her face Liara wrapped her fingers around Shepard's in a grip firm enough to prevent escape. The helpless Commander was drawn into the throng of writhing bodies on the dance floor. All it took for her reluctance to disappear was the sight of Liara in her figure-hugging dress moving sensuously to the beat. The asari's movements were subtle - her hips swayed and her hands traced a curvaceous pattern in the air in front of her. Shepard stared, her lips subconsciously parting in a combination of wonder and lust. Only a few moments passed before she summoned enough courage to move forward and place her hands on the beautiful body in front of her. The rest of the dance floor winked into non-existence the moment Shepard's hands snaked around Liara's waist and drew their bodies together.

Whenever Shepard danced on her own, she found herself completely without rhythm. However now she merely had to allow herself to be guided by Liara, her movements were no longer her own. Forgetting that she was the Captain of an Alliance frigate, Shepard was just another woman in love.

Liara's lips pressed against Shepard's ear. "See, you can dance," she whispered, her breath falling hot and fast. "Kiss me."

Any thoughts of being in public were ignored as Shepard hungrily sought out and found Liara's lips. They merged in a manner similar to their bodies, firm, fierce and committed.

It was almost an hour later that Shepard and Liara finally dragged themselves from Purgatory's dance floor. There had been several more kisses, as well as hands wandering freely over each other's body. As they exited the club Shepard was laughing and grinning, feeling as though she was drunk on pure adrenaline. The only thought in her mind was getting Liara back to her quarters as quickly as possible. Liara however did not punch the elevator button that would take them back to docking bay D-24.

When she saw the confused expression on Shepard's face, Liara waved a small access card in front of her. "Who says we are going back to the _Normandy_?"

"I keep forgetting how well you plan everything out," Shepard grinned.

"Shadow Broker, remember?" Liara reminded her.

After her indulgent display on Purgatory's dance floor, Shepard managed to keep her hands to herself – at least until she and Liara were in private behind the closed door of the rented apartment overlooking the Presidium Commons. No sooner had the door clicked shut behind them, Shepard and Liara were fumbling at each other's clothing.

Both were completely naked without even making it through into the apartment's bedroom.

Shepard pressed her naked lover up against a convenient wall, hitching one of Liara's legs up around her waist so she could jam as much of her thigh as possible up against her sex. The ragged moan that emerged from Liara's throat wasn't the only indication of how much she desperately needed Shepard, her centre was already soaked. Shepard could feel the moisture up against her thigh. Her sweaty fingers dragged their way over Liara's breasts and down between their bodies. She was seeking out the source of that wetness when Liara surprised her by grabbing her fingers and moving her hand. She guided Shepard to place it over her heart. Before she could stop to question, Liara's own fingers were pressed firmly against her chest, directly over her rapidly beating heart. Shepard was staring directly at Liara when she tilted her head slightly and her eyes were swallowed by the darkness of the meld. Shepard gasped as the meld was open and their minds joined, and nervous systems became one. The meld felt different from the start, the images that flooded Shepard's mind were ones she had never seen before. She was with Liara in every sense of the word, their combined heart beats were no longer separate. Shepard saw future possibilities in Liara's thoughts, her own self surrounded by several asari children. She instinctively knew that they were hers. It was a beautiful picture, one she responded to enthusiastically.

In her mind, Liara opened her eyes and they stared at one another. It was then that Shepard realised that they were in the midst of the bonding ceremony – if it could be called that. There was nothing formal about it, it was organic, somewhat tentative and yet perfect at the same time.

"I am yours, Evan Shepard." Liara's voice filled her head, yet the words were not spoken aloud.

Shepard responded instinctively. "I am yours, Liara T'Soni."

A sense of pure joy was shared between them, simple and yet it was enough to confirm everything that they knew about one another. The emotions that had remained so palpable and raw throughout their separation were set in a physical pact between them. Liara could hear Shepard's promise in her mind – _I'll never leave you again._

Despite all their previous melds, it was the first time Liara had actually hovered on the verge of choosing pregnancy for herself. She could see everything so clearly laid out in front of her, the path that would lead to the quickening of life within her womb – her child, Shepard's child. Although she was enamoured with the idea of cementing their bond with a daughter, she had to close her mind off to that possibility. A world in the grip of a brutal and horrifying war was not conducive to child-rearing. She consoled herself by seeking solace in Shepard's mental embrace and unequivocal support for her decision. _There will be a right time for the little blue children, I promise._

They shared their first lovemaking as bondmates in the Presidium apartment – it was everything that had they had shared previously, with the promise of a lifetime to come. It was undoubtedly the longest meld they had shared, lasting until they both climaxed. It was only when Shepard opened her eyes and managed to focus that she realised they were floating in the middle of the apartment. Their entwined bodies were dripping with sweat and Liara was panting with exhaustion. She fought to maintain control long enough for them to find the floor beneath their feet. As soon as they touched, her exhausted legs buckled beneath her. Before she could come close to falling, Shepard swept her up into her arms. Although she was almost as tired, Shepard managed to get them both to the bedroom cradling Liara against her, the asari's arms wrapped around her neck. They tumbled gratefully onto the bed a few moments later.

Shepard reached across Liara and gathered a handful of the covers. She dragged them up and over their slowly cooling bodies as Liara nestled into her side.

* * *

 

Liara's eye's snapped open when she felt something solid collide with her chest. She glanced across and saw it had been Shepard's flailing arm. Beside her, the Commander was stretched out naked atop the sheets, fast asleep. Her mouth was moving soundlessly as though she was trying to say something. Liara tenderly reached out and stroked the side of her face, it was clammy and cold to the touch.

"Answers," Shepard whispered.

"What answers?" Liara asked gently.

Shepard did not reply for it was not Liara she was speaking to. Liara pressed her fingers to Shepard's forehead, trying to gain some sort of sense of what her Commander's dreams were occupied by. A few familiar signs of discomfort started to appear. Shepard was having difficulty breathing, her mouth was open as she began to gasp slightly. Liara reached out and cupped her face with one hand, stroking firmly with her thumb. With her other hand, she shook Shepard's shoulder gently. Only a split second later, Shepard's eyes snapped open. The confusion passed quickly when she found Liara's eyes in the darkness.

"You were dreaming," she commented quietly.

"Yeah," Shepard breathed. "About Prothean ruins of all things...anyone would think I'd have had enough of those."

"Anything familiar?" Liara asked, her curiosity kicking in.

Shepard shook her head. "I don't...no, I didn't recognise anything."

"Are you alright?"

Shepard nodded. The dream was already fading. Instead she focused on Liara. "Bondmates."

"Bondmates," Liara repeated, a warm tone in her voice that said even more.

Shepard rolled over and pressed her body against Liara's flank. The asari's arms slipped around her shoulders. With her eyes closed and Liara's scent filling her nostrils, it was all too easy to forget about the war that was waiting for them beyond the apartment walls.

"I feel as though I'm going to walk out of this place a different person."

"How so?"

"I can feel you. I mean, I could always sense you in some simple manner but now you're right there. I don't know what you're thinking exactly, but I know exactly how happy you are at this moment in time. Not that I need any sort of special connection to tell that much, it's exactly how I feel." Shepard paused and swallowed. She found it difficult to express exactly how she felt. "Is it the same for you? Is it supposed to be like this with bondmates?"

"Having never been bonded before, I am not sure, but I can tell you that I feel exactly the same way," Liara replied honestly.

The alarm sounded on Shepard's omni-tool a split second later. With great reluctance, they dragged themselves out of bed and into the shower. Several more alarms went off before the shower reluctantly ended. As difficult as it was, both were disciplined enough to manage to keep their hands off one another long enough to get dressed and rejoin the outside world.

"Do we have time for breakfast?" Shepard mused as they made their way across the Commons towards the elevators.

"It's 2200 hours," Liara replied with a smirk.

"I know, I feel like pancakes though," Shepard felt oddly at ease. For the first time since the Reaper invasion had begun, she had a real sense of entitlement. They were going to win. The thoughts she had shared with Liara during their bonding, the potential family they shared – she wanted that desperately. Victory was the only way they could have it. "Lots of pancakes."

Given the late hour, the usually busy Presidium was largely empty. They strolled in relative silence, able to appreciate the simple feelings that they shared without the need to resort to words. The moment was interrupted when Shepard's omni-tool suddenly flared into life – although this time it was not her alarm.

_{Commander Shepard?}_ EDI's urgent voice further interrupted the quiet moment.

Shepard's first response was irritation at being disturbed, especially when they still had at least fifteen minutes before they had to be back to the Normandy. She had intended the walk back to be leisurely – possibly even pluck up the courage to hold Liara's hand in public. However EDI was contacting her on a secure channel of the type reserved strictly for emergencies. This wasn't about Hackett contacting her to rescue scientists, it was something that could not wait even fifteen minutes.

"Go ahead, EDI," Shepard responded.

{ _You need to return to the_ Normandy _immediately.}_ If it was even possible for an AI, EDI sounded distinctly worried. _{There are incoming vessels converging on the Citadel – their signatures are unmistakably Reaper in origin.}_

"The Reapers? Coming towards the Citadel?" Shepard had to repeat it in order for it to sink in.

Shepard cast a quick glance towards Liara who was listening anxiously, her eyes already slightly wide with shock and a healthy dose of fear. Almost instinctively, Shepard reached for her bondmate's hand.

Their fingers entwined as they both started running.

 


	20. A World Torn Asunder

The Citadel was no stranger to conflict, but when first fireball crashed through the Presidium's artificial sky, its citizens could only stare in shock. They watched as it tumbled, almost lazily, to the Commons. It took the impact, accompanied by flame and sound, before they awoke to the danger. Walking horrors emerging from the flames - Cannibals and Marauders, twisted versions of their former Batarian and Turian selves. Without mercy, the creature started gunning people down. As the citizens ran, they were chased down by lumbering, skeletal husks.

It went against Shepard's instincts to run but she knew that a stand in the belly of the Presidium's artificial environment would be futile. For all its apparent solidity, the Citadel was essentially an over-grown space station. The force fields and bulkheads that maintained the pressurised atmosphere within the Presidium would only hold up beneath the Reaper assault for so long before integrity failed. Shepard had no desire whatsoever to experience being sucked out into space a second time.

Shepard and Liara fought their way to the elevator that would take them back to the Normandy's docking bay. Liara's fingers suddenly slipped out from within Shepard's sweaty palm. Her arm immediately flailed outwards as she tried to re-establish the contact but she found nothing by empty air. When she spun around, Liara was inexplicably running in the opposite direction - towards a rank of stationary taxis.

"Liara, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Shepard yelled. There was no reply until Shepard caught up with her when she was opening the door of the nearest vehicle. No sooner had Shepard's fingers wrapped around her elbow, Liara was yanking it away desperately. "Just talk to me!"

"I am not leaving my father behind!" Liara interrupted harshly. The door to the taxi levered open. "Leave or come with me, but I am not running away and abandoning the only other family I have."

"Shit," Shepard whispered as realisation dawned. There was no other choice available. She was already pushing Liara forward into the taxi. "I'll drive, just tell me where to go."

"Lower Bachjret Ward," Liara said tersely as she climbed into the passenger seat. As she strapped herself in, she gave Shepard a determined nod. "I know I usually berate you for your driving, but I need you to drive at your most dangerous."

Shepard nodded as she powered the up the 'borrowed' taxi. Liara clutched onto a handrail as it lifted off and whirled around in a matter of seconds, throwing her against the side.

The space above the Wards was choked with vehicles all trying to get somewhere, ignoring established lanes of traffic. Even as Shepard was forced to yank the taxi into a steep turn to avoid a cargo transport that was falling in flames, she was already looking ahead to the next obstacle. Almost wildly they veered through the traffic. Ducking, diving, corkscrewing violently. Liara eventually gave up watching their seemingly suicidal trajectory and closed her eyes.

_{Shepard, this is_ Normandy _!}_ Joker's urgency was evident in his tone. _{Not to be blunt, Commander, but where the fuck are you?}_

"Don't ask, Joker," Shepard growled through gritted teeth. "Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be there."

_{Fifteen minutes?}_ came the alarmed response. _{The situation is not good. I don't know why but the Citadel's arms aren't closing. The Defence Fleet and the automated turrets can only hold out for so long. The_ Normandy _will be destroyed in its docking clamps if we hang around here much longer.}_

"Take off, get the hell out of here," Shepard replied, wincing at yet another narrow miss. She yanked the controls hard to the left and then into a steep dive to avoid an unstable sky train. The resulting manoeuvre sent them hurtling downwards.

_{You have got to be kidding me!}_ Joker protested. _{There is no way in hell that we're leaving you here!}_

Shepard didn't reply as she was forced to concentrate to avoid ploughing headfirst into the skyscraper that filled their entire window. Her stomach lurched as they plunged downwards, only the harness keeping them in their seats. Liara's eyes were still tightly closed but that didn't stop her from uttering a terrified gasp. The taxi practically scraped the side of the building for several heart-stopping movements before Shepard was able to pull away and spin back to level flight. The taxi had never been intended to be used so violently. Shepard could feel the engine protesting vehemently through a series of odd vibrations - all of which she ignored.

_{Commander?}_ the sound of Joker's voice reminded her that the _Normandy_ was still waiting.

"Ah, I'm a little preoccupied right now, Joker," Shepard replied. As the route became clearer closer to ground-level, she was able think straight. "Take off, avoid the Reapers as best you can and get Cortez to pilot the shuttle to Lower Bachjret Ward. He can hone in on my coordinates, pick us up, and we'll rendezvous with the _Normandy_."

_{Some plan, Commander. There's the slight problem of avoiding the giant Reapers!}_

"You know what the alternative is," Shepard continued. "It's the best I can do. Take it or leave it."

Joker was silent for a few moments. When his voice came back over the comm. it was firm and decisive. "The Lieutenant is on his way. You've got ten minutes."

"Got it," Shepard said as she gunned the taxi's engine hard, squeezing out every ounce of power. She glanced across at Liara to find most of the colour drained from her face. She also still had her eyes tightly shut. "Liara, I'm going to need you to open your eyes and guide me in. I don't know where the hell I'm going. Come on, start by looking at me."

Liara opened her eyes and turned towards Shepard. She saw the beads of sweat forming on her Commander's brow as she concentrated. Her grip on the taxi's controls was white-knuckled with effort. The reassuring expression on her face was enough to make looking out the window bearable even though they were flying at breakneck speed less than half a dozen metres above surface level, weaving their way through the larger buildings. One wrong move on Shepard's part would see them reduced to a blazing inferno spread across a surface street below. Although she had never actually visited Aethyta in her home, she had known the address before they had actually met – after all, what kind of Shadow Broker would she be if she did not know where her own father lived? Still, it was difficult trying to gather any sense of direction with Shepard's violent driving-

"There!" Liara said excitedly. "That theatre - her apartment building is just around the corner."

Shepard nodded. "I'll set us down in that square, should give Vega plenty of room to manoeuvre the shuttle."

Liara did not even stop to be grateful that her feet were back on something solid. No sooner had Shepard set the shuttle down, she was clambering out and sprinting. The Reapers had already struck Bachjret, but she ignored the fighting around her in the single-minded goal of finding her father. It was left to Shepard to draw her Carnifex and watch her bondmate's back. It was hardly necessary. Liara was a force of nature – a whirlwind of biotic power moving across the square. Shepard almost pitied anything that stood in her path.

As gut-wrenching as it was, Shepard divorced herself from the wider chaos erupting around them as she ran. She was one woman, saving the Citadel was beyond her capabilities – it was Earth all over again. However it was impossible to ignore immediate situations. Shepard unloaded almost an entire thermal clip as she ran, resorting to using her omni-blade to conserve ammunition. She slammed the blade through the spine of one Cannibal before whirling to decapitate a husk as it bore down on a young human woman. Her resolve to remain aloof crumbled when she succumbed to a glance towards the terrified woman. On looking into her terrified, pleading eyes, she realised the futility of saving her in one instant only to abandon her to her ultimate fate.

"Stay by the square, out of sight," Shepard gestured quickly. "We'll get you out."

The uncertain nod she received was all she had time for. As Shepard continued, pushing past the dead and dying, she knew that she could hope to save only a handful – if they even managed to get themselves out. She caught a glimpse of Liara disappearing around the block ahead and pushed on. At that moment another falling inferno collided with the façade of the theatre – blasting outwards towards Shepard in a wall of heat. It was all she could do to bring her arm up to shield her face before it hit. The wave caught her, whipping her around. Somehow she managed to maintain her footing. Fearing she had lost touch with Liara, Shepard rounded the corner ahead. She needn't have worried. The asari was standing, frozen, in the middle of the street.

"Liara?" Shepard ran to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Show me where we're going."

"There," Liara replied in a hoarse voice.

Shepard followed the direction of Liara's nod, leading her to the gutted, still burning shell of a small apartment building. The destruction was so complete as to render asking about the possibility of survivors redundant.

"Shit," Shepard whispered inadequately.

Liara was turning away from the flames when her eyes suddenly widened. In an instant she had torn away from Shepard's firm grip on her shoulder and was sprinting once again. She covered a relatively short distance and collapsed to the ground, her knees hitting hard. Shepard was only a short distance behind but it took her a few moments to take in the scene in front of her. A trio of dead Cannibals lay scattered in the immediate vicinity, all with massive holes torn through their bodies by shotgun fire. Liara's father lay in a crumpled heap nearby, a Krogan shotgun still clutched in one fist. Any relief Shepard may have felt was swiftly extinguished when Liara gently rolled Aethyta over to reveal a savage trail of wounds from her neck down to her abdomen. She lay in a pool of blue blood. It was far too much blood for any one individual to have lost. Despite her wounds, Aethyta did not cry out as she was moved, she merely opened her eyes.

"Why the fuck are you still here?" she demanded of her daughter, her voice and her attitude unchanged. Her granite gaze then turned on Shepard. "You let her come?"

"She's a T'Soni," Shepard apologised, her voice hollow.

Liara's hands were covered with her father's blood as she tried to stop the flow of blood. "Shepard, help me!"

Shepard was a soldier. It didn't take a doctor to know that Aethyta's wounds should have killed her already. She suspected that a part of Liara knew this as well. Without protest, Shepard hunkered down and prepared to lift her father-in-law.

"Get your hands off me! Fuck...not going anywhere!" Aethyta snapped, feebly trying to ward Shepard off. "What you are going to do-" she coughed violently and blood smeared her lips "-is get my daughter out of here."

"I'm not leaving without you!" Liara replied, just as stubborn as her father.

Shepard took her attention away from the personal pain in front of her, to the very real terror of the situation on the Citadel. It was growing worse by the minute, with more Reaper ground forces arriving. They were too exposed to remain in one position for any length of time, especially when all she had in terms of firepower was a nearly empty pistol.

As if to prove her point, a nearby Cannibal noticed the huddled figures and raised its arm to fire at them. It was dead a split second later, shot between the eyes, but more were alerted to their presence. Shepard's heart sank as a small wave of husks surged towards them.

"I'm going to buy us a little more time!" Shepard told Liara as she rose to her feet, omni-blade flaring to life.

Meanwhile Aethyta finally relinquished her hold on the shotgun and tried to lift her hand towards Liara's face. She faltered, falling short, until Liara reached out and lifted it. With trembling lips she kissed the bloodied fingers before pressing them to her cheek.

"Dad, we'll get you out of here. There's a shuttle on its way and we can treat you-"

"Don't lie," Aethyta gasped. "I'm dying, not stupid."

"But I need more time!"

"Awww...life doesn't always give us...what we want. I fucking loved your mother...she left me. And you know how much I love you...and you're going to get your Commander to take you away..." The Matriarch's voice faltered, her eyes closed. She continued to draw ragged breaths.

"Dad?" Liara asked in a panicked voice. She reacted without thinking, doing the only thing she could think of in initiating a meld.

An overwhelming pain slammed into her senses. Internally she cried out, but the meld held. A moment later, the pain was gone and she was left with a sort of serene peace. Liara found herself staring at Aethyta – unwounded and as she had been in life.

The Matriarch gave her a rare smile. "Shepard is strong, she is a good match for someone as powerful as you. I know she'll do everything in her power to keep you safe."

"You've never called her Shepard." It was all Liara could think to say.

"Just this once." Aethyta shrugged. "Promise me that the two of you will do everything you can to kick the Reapers the hell out of our galaxy?"

Liara nodded.

The smile lingered for a moment. "I love you, kiddo."

The meld was gone. When Liara regained focus, she found herself staring down at her father. Aethyta's chest was no longer rising and falling.

Her eyes had blurred with tears by the time Shepard seized her beneath her arms, dragging her upwards in haste. Despite the irrationality of it, she struggled. Some part of her was desperate to fight her way back to Aethyta's body. Leaving her father lying there was unconscionable.

"Let go of me! Damn you!"

Shepard did not respond. She simply tucked Liara close and began to run, practically dragging her thrashing, struggling body towards the shuttle hovering above the square. Two _Normandy_ crewmembers were standing at the open door, their weapons firing desperately into the bodies of Cannibals, husks and Marauders converging on the small craft. Her Carnifex empty, Shepard tossed it aside and used both arms to support the sagging body of her bondmate as the shuttle touched down.

She handed Liara over to the marine at the door, swapping her bondmate for an assault rifle. "Grab her, don't let her out of your arms!"

She was then turning and firing as though possessed, cutting down everything that wasn't a civilian. The young woman she had saved earlier was sprinting towards the shuttle, dragging a small boy behind her. Another half a dozen were desperately trying to make it to their only chance of getting off the Citadel.

"Come on!" Shepard yelled, urging them with a wave of her arm.

Several piled aboard, dozens more were indiscriminately cut down in their attempts to flee. As enemy fire began to strike the shuttle, raking its hull, Shepard knew they had to leave regardless of how few they had managed to save. More civilians were still running when she finally scrambled aboard. Although she could see the terror in the eyes of those left behind, she glanced over her shoulder and gave a curt nod to Cortez in the cockpit. The thrusters surged, lifting the shuttle upwards as the door was slammed shut before they could pass out of the Citadel's low atmosphere. Letting the rifle fall from her bloody fingers, Shepard turned to see Liara still struggling against the unfortunate crewmember trying to hold her. She relieved him of his task, wrapping her arms firmly around her bondmate. After a brief struggle, Liara went limp and slumped downwards. Her eyes were glazed over, unseeing. Shepard controlled the descent of both their bodies to the floor of the shuttle where she cradled Liara against her.

"We just left her there," Liara mumbled in a blank voice.

"No we didn't," Shepard replied, gently touching Liara's forehead. "She'll never leave you, not in here."

"Hold on! This is going to be one hell of a bumpy ride" Cortez yelled from up front.

Shepard grabbed the bulkhead behind her with one hand and wrapped her other arm securely around Liara. As she felt her bondmate's body spasm with racking sobs, tears pricked at her own eyes. At first it was just a reflection of her lover's pain - tears of sympathy for what she had lost. Then she realised that it was not just mere sympathy - she felt every iota of the hollow, raw grief to the same extent that Liara did. Her bondmate's pain was her own.

Rage prevented her from giving into the tears, Shepard felt as wretched and angry as the day she had left Earth. Coupled with repetitive thoughts damning the Reapers to hell, was an underlying renewal of determination. Shepard was tired. She knew that several of the wounds she had sustained in the violent scuffles were deep enough to require urgent attention, but she pushed them all aside as she concentrated on doing the one thing she could.

Through Saren, the Reapers had taken Liara's mother. Now, in a stroke of pure violence, they had taken her father. The young asari was strong, but as Shepard held her and felt the connection between them, she knew that strength was on the verge of failing.

* * *

 

Shepard was grateful for the solidity of the console beneath her hands. It was currently all that was propping up her body and keeping her from slumping to the floor. She was back in her plain uniform, her ruined dress uniform had been discarded, and she had several wounds that were dressed. A slash to her forehead had required several stitches as had a gash across her collarbone. She stared into the blank space of the vidcom, waiting until the figure of Admiral Hackett emerged. Her emotions were reflected in the old soldier's face. It was the first time that she noticed how his previously snug uniform sagged on his frame.

_{Commander, good to see you're in one piece.}_ The tone of Hackett's voice was severely restrained, even more so than usual.

"Thank you, sir." Shepard didn't feel much like giving thanks, but she muttered the words anyway. "Did the Council-"

_{The Council was able to escape in a small frigate. They have rendezvoused with the Destiny Ascension...}_ Hackett drew in a ragged breath. _{But the Citadel itself has been completely destroyed.}_

"Destroyed?" The word left Shepard's lips like a prayer. "I thought it was a cleansing – like Earth..."

_{We don't have the full details, suffice to say, it looks as though integrity failed on a massive scale throughout the Presidium ring and this resulted in several colossal, catastrophic explosions that severed almost all of the Ward arms in a matter of minutes. Eyewitnesses report that the Citadel...broke up.}_ Hackett lowered his gaze for a moment. _{Asari High Command lost almost twenty-five per cent of its remaining fleet. The total loss of life...}_

"Millions," Shepard whispered.

Silence was all that followed the revelation for almost a minute. Shepard felt each and every one of her wounds throb painfully. The energy that she had during and following her bonding with Liara had been completely wiped out. It didn't help that the small knot of emotions tucked at the back of her mind that represented her bondmate was almost completely unreadable save for a sort of blank resignation. A sense of urgency gripped Shepard. She didn't want to be standing in the comm. room sharing exhausted glances with Hackett, she needed to be with Liara. In the hours that had followed the _Normandy's_ escape through the Mass relay, they had exchanged only a few words in between Shepard receiving medical treatment and assessing the extent of the damage to her ship. In the chaos Liara had quietly slipped away, most likely to her quarters to work.

_{Shepard, I don't need to remind you the urgency of the situation. The Crucible is nearing completion but without the Catalyst it's a floating piece of space junk. Finding it is the_ Normandy's _priority.}_

"Understood, sir," Shepard replied quickly.

_{I have one piece of good news. The Quarians have finally offered their support to our cause. However they will only meet with you. I'm sending you coordinates-}_ Hackett began.

"Sir," Shepard interrupted. "With all due respect, the _Normandy_ has one engine that looks like it has been flambéd with a giant blowtorch. We barely limped through the mass relay, we need time before we can carry out that order." _I need time._

_{The days of shore leave and R & R are behind us, Shepard. There will be no rest for any of us, not until we die.}_

Shepard nodded curtly, almost indignantly. She didn't need Hackett explaining such things to her as though she was a FNG. "I understand, sir. I'll have my crew working round the clock shifts until we're back at peak operating capacity. Twelve hours max."

_{Make it so, Commander. Hackett, out.}_

Hackett's stony face disappeared an instant later. Her gaze slumped following the Admiral's brusque words. There was a massive amount of work to be done and on top of it all, Shepard's lover had lost her father only a few hours earlier. Already it felt like too big of a task to be the strength that was needed. Her stomach twisted into a painful knot. _When did I last eat?_ Shepard asked herself as she left the dark room. She and Liara had been too busy with each other to think about food.

_Damn Hackett and his bloody R & R, I need to eat something before I pass out._.. _and I need to know Liara is going to be okay._

Five minutes later, Shepard walked into Liara's quarters carrying two mess trays laden with food. She found Liara standing in front of her Shadow Broker feeds, head down, tapping out an urgent staccato on her keyboard. Shepard did not even receive a cursory glance when she walked in. The glance in itself was not necessary - Liara had known who it was before she even walked in the door - but she expected it all the same. No, she needed it. Her most fervent wish at that moment in time was for Liara to flash her brilliant blue eyes towards her and show some form of emotion. Fear, sorrow, anger – anything was preferable to the cold front she was currently receiving.

_{With the destruction of the Citadel, we've had to restructure much of the network. I'm afraid we've lost a lot of people, Liara.}_

Shepard recognised the voice instantly. It was Feron.

"The losses were to be expected," Liara replied.

Shepard could still detect nothing through their bond, both this and the lack of emotion in Liara's voice disturbed her. This was not the individual she had cradled in her arms just a few hours ago. The tears had been replaced by an automated efficiency that quite frankly scared her.

_{With the Reaper infiltration throughout the galaxy, we're operating at approximately thirty percent of our former capacity...at best,}_ Feron continued.

"Whatever happens, we have to keep as much of the network open as we can – even compromised, we still need information."

_{The network is over stretched-}_

"People need to work harder!" Liara interrupted harshly. She brought a clenched fist down on the edge of her console. The entire station rattled slightly.

"Liara," Shepard said quietly. Her aim wasn't to interrupt, but to inject as much emotion, love and support as she could muster into that one, quietly-spoken, word.

She thought she saw Liara's shoulders slump slightly. Although Liara did not turn around, when she continued speaking to Feron, her voice had changed. "Thank you for your update, Feron. I...am glad you are still safe."

{ _I'm fine, Liara,}_ the drell replied through the link. _{And I will offer a prayer for your father.}_

"Thank you."

The link closed and Liara was left standing in front of her feeds. As though still on auto-pilot, she resumed typing on her keyboard just as rapidly as before, occasionally glancing up to check one of the monitors in front of her. Shepard gave her a few minutes, standing patiently with the food still balanced in one hand. Eventually, the typing slowed and finally stopped altogether. Liara's hands fell to her sides.

"I have never heard you speak about your father," the asari suddenly commented, finally turning to look at Shepard.

"My father?" Shepard was momentarily taken aback. She stared at Liara for a few moments. The asari's expression was oddly vacant, but at least she was talking. Shepard was willing to share whatever she could to keep Liara engaged and talking instead of letting her slip further into a depressed fugue. "There's actually not a hell of a lot to talk about. He died before I was even born."

"He was a soldier, like you and your mother?" Liara continued.

Shepard shrugged."He was never a grunt, he was a fighter pilot."

"Do you know anything of him?" Liara pressed.

Shepard crossed the room towards Liara's personal space at the back of her quarters. She sat on the edge of the bed, placing the food down beside her. Liara's gaze followed her, but she did not move from her position in front of the bank of screens. "I have a few old vids, images...but that's all he really is to me – images," Shepard explained hesitantly. "He seemed to be larger than life - funny. And he had a wild streak - like most fighter pilots I guess. Mum once said that his attitude got him killed."

"Had he lived, you might have become a pilot," Liara suggested quietly. "As you once dreamed."

"Perhaps." It was something Shepard had not spoke of often, even to Liara. But her childhood dream had been to follow in her father's footsteps. Unfortunately her wayward youth had made that dream impossible.

Liara finally stepped away from her monitors. The sharp backwards movement was made abruptly, as though it was necessary to tear herself away from her work. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she made her way to Shepard. Although she sat down and accepted the tray of food that was offered, Liara made no move to start eating.

"You do not have the time to be sitting here...offering consolation I should not need," Liara whispered.

"I'm eating a meal with my bondmate. I have time for that," Shepard replied. She had already begun eating, hoping that Liara would follow suit. "Now eat before I feed you myself – that is definitely something I don't have time for."

Eventually, Liara picked up her fork and started to eat. She brought the food to her mouth methodically, knowing that she needed to eat as opposed to enjoying it. They finished the food in silence. The only sounds were the quiet scraping of plastic forks against plastic trays.

"Thank you for this," Liara had cleaned her plate down to the last morsel. "I did not realise how hungry I was. You should get back to your ship."

"Liara, I-"

"You feel that you need to extract some sort of response from me, some indication that I will be okay." Liara interrupted. She stood abruptly and the empty mess tray fell to the floor with a clatter as she moved away from Shepard. Her steps were brisk, agitated. "I cannot give it to you. My father is dead, Evan. I am...devastated."

Liara's movements suddenly faltered and she stumbled, as though the strength had disappeared from her limbs. Before her body crumpled to the floor, Shepard was on her feet. With a calm, reassuring touch, Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara and held her close.

"Hey," Shepard whispered softly. "You don't need to pretend you're okay about this, you don't need to be strong. I'm here for you."

Liara shook her head. "I cannot ask anything of you. Not while so many people have died. There is too much at stake for you to lose focus."

"I'm not losing focus. This is where I need to be right now. Here with you. What can I do, Liara?"

"Shepard, do not ask me that," Liara let out a hoarse breath, her arms snaked around Shepard, stroking the hard body beneath her uniform.

"Well I am," Shepard insisted.

"I need...I need you to remind me that I am still alive, please?" Before Shepard could ask her to explain, Liara pulled their mouths together in a desperate kiss, hard and bruising. She seized one of Shepard's hands in a vice-like grip and dragged it downwards to her belt. "Fuck me. Here. Now."

While fucking or anything remotely connected had been far from Shepard's thoughts just seconds earlier, the desire in Liara's voice and her touch stirred her almost instantly. A part of her tried to slow their pace and her movements to something approaching the tenderness she thought was needed, but she was met only with an irritated growl from her bondmate.

Liara crushed her lips against Shepard's ear. "I said fuck me," Liara demanded, biting down hard on the tender flesh of her ear lobe.

With the uncharacteristically coarse words and harsh movements, Shepard knew what it was Liara was asking of her. The restraints that usually held her in check were stripped away from the moment her fingers grasped the buckle of Liara's belt. In the midst of the act of ripping her pants open with practised movements, she shoved Liara backwards against the bulkhead behind them. The impact shook the bank of monitors mounted on the wall, but Shepard didn't care if they came crashing down. Her sole focus was on the asari in her arms. While one hand worked its way beneath the band of her underwear, the other went to the collar of her jacket and the fastenings. Methodically she worked her way downwards until the garment was hanging off Liara's shoulders and she could drag aside the thin fabric of her undershirt. As the fingers of one hand closed firmly over one of her tits, the others raked harshly over the soft mound between her legs. Pinned by Liara's clothing, there was little room to manoeuvre as Shepard drove her fingers into the heat at Liara's core. She found her bondmate already wet to the touch. 

Wrapping one leg around Shepard's back, Liara bucked her hips insistently, desperate to feel Shepard inside her. Moments later she had her answer, two fingers thrusting upwards firmly. A strangled whimper emerged from her mouth. With the second, third and fourth thrusts, the whimpers intensified into cries.

Shepard's hoarse breaths fell rapidly on her neck. Liara tilted her head, seeking out Shepard's mouth in an effort to silence her own cries. The kiss was cloying, almost suffocating, and yet they both hungrily sought out more.

Shepard pressed her body weight against the asari, pinning her firmly to the wall. Her hand left Liara's breast to grab the leg that wasn't already wrapped around her body, hauling it upwards as well. The hand remained beneath Liara's ass, offering firm leverage as she continued to pump her hips forward with each thrust of her fingers. She savoured the feel the palm of her hand grinding hard against Liara's engorged clit. With her entire body protesting at the effort she was expending, Shepard had to tear her lips away from Liara's in order to draw in more air. She settled for pressing her cheek to Liara's to maintain the connection.

There was nothing tender or patient about the act. It was frantic and rough.

Liara tried to muffle her desperate sounds in Shepard's hair but they grew too loud to disguise and she gave up altogether. Her quarters were filled with their combined breathing and her increasingly urgent cries morphing into screams.

Shepard's hand worked furiously in Liara's pants, her movements minimal but firm. She felt the responses within Liara's body and the moisture pooling in the palm of her hand and knew that her bondmate was hovering on the brink.

"Please!" A second or two after her last desperate cry, Liara's orgasm rippled throughout her body – originating in her flushed, raw centre and spreading outwards through her body. She trembled fiercely against Shepard, her legs squeezing the Commander's body without a thought for just how vice-like the grip actually was.

Her limbs slackened eventually, legs feeling like jelly as they began to slip downwards. She tried to set them down herself but found them uncooperative.

"I've got you," Shepard whispered. One at a time, she took Liara's legs and unhooked each from her waist, lowering them down. Even when both feet were on the ground, she remained pressed hard against her. "And I'm not going anywhere."

It was all that held Liara upright in those moments, she sagged against Shepard. When she eventually lifted her head she saw a dark patch on the shoulder of Shepard's uniform and realised that her face was damp with tears.

Shepard frowned worriedly when she noticed. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

"No," Liara whispered.

She sought out Shepard's bruised lips, caressing them with just the barest brush of her own to reassure her that she was fine.

The fierce heat that radiated throughout her body disguised the pain. For now.

 


	21. Your Mother was a Snowblower

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Shepard watched her crew working on the _Normandy's_ damaged starboard engine. In her hands she clutched the helmet of her hardsuit, an item not dissimilar to one she had worn almost three years ago. The tools she was to carry outside were stacked in their neat crate at her feet, but that was where they remained for the moment. She had wanted to help, and this was the most practical, essential task available. It just happened that it was outside.

_Just breathe…_

From the window it was almost serene. Everything was done in that lazy manner dictated by zero gravity. The same environment in which she had died.

Although it sometimes felt as though it had happened in another life, Shepard remembered the details of dying vividly. She knew what it was to fight for air that would never come; to not even be able to scream in terror. The utter helplessness of that moment etched into her mind. Soldiers in the heat of combat, could fight for their lives every step of the way. In the moments before she died, there was not a thing Shepard could do to save herself. It was those memories that kept her boots fixed to the floor in front of the window. Where she was safe.

_I'm scared_.

With the admission came the sinking feeling in her gut, the full-fledged fear that she had been fighting to keep at bay. She struggled to calm herself, restore her breathing to something approaching normal. Fear in itself was healthy. Sometimes it set limitations and sometimes gave her an impetus to push herself further. This time however she knew if she let it take a hold of her, Liara would sense it too. Her bondmate already felt enough fear of her own.

Shepard tried to recall her Zero-G training during her time as an N7 candidate. The exercises had been rigorous, but ultimately straight-forward for someone of her skill. Now Shepard found herself unable to take a step outside the ship. Her first instinct was to blame it on what Cerberus had done to her, but she knew her own memories betrayed her. The failures were chemically wired into her brain.

{ _Call for you on vidcom, Commander,}_ EDI mercifully interrupted Shepard's train of thought.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard responded. "I'm on my way now."

Too grateful to bother asking who it was, Shepard made her way to the QEC. She was expecting Hackett, demanding an update on repairs. However, instead, the image of a man she had thought to be lost formed in front of her eyes.

"Anderson," Shepard whispered. "You're a sight for sore eyes."

That one word was all the speech her mind could process. She studied her old friend. Although seemingly back from the dead he appeared none the worse for wear. His old, worn uniform had been replaced by crisp combat fatigues. It was difficult to tell via the vidcom, but he appeared to be unwounded and moving freely.

_{It's good to see you too, Shepard,}_ the Admiral replied, voice just as confident as ever.

"You just wanted a holiday didn't you?" was the only half coherent sentence that sprang into Shepard's mind.

Anderson chuckled. _{A holiday behind Reaper lines in a dank, dark cave – everyone's destination of choice. That shit got boring pretty quickly. Not quite sure how I hauled myself and Park out but I was damned if I was going to die like that.}_

"Park was with you?" Shepard raised her eyebrows, remembering how scared the young desk officer had been when she'd hauled her to her feet in the ruins of Alliance headquarters. "Is she okay?"

"A little worse for wear but she'll pull through. I just wanted to contact you myself, instead of letting you get the word second-hand. I heard about the Citadel - we're all thinking of you down here, Commander."

"For fuck's sake, Admiral, I should be the one thinking about you. I'm still swanning about the galaxy, you're stuck on Reaper infested Earth!" Shepard replied vehemently. She bit her lip for a moment. "Excuse my tone, sir. It has been a…rollercoaster over the past twenty-four hours. What happened on the Citadel was…"

Her voice trailed off as she was unable to find the right word to describe the scale of the tragedy and the loss to the Galaxy.

_{We're all feeling our losses.}_ Anderson nodded in understanding. _{The death tolls on Earth…Palaven, everywhere. They're catastrophic.}_

"And personal - Liara's father was amongst the dead on the Citadel."

_{My sincerest sympathies to Dr T'Soni,}_ Anderson offered. _{How is she holding up?"_

"She's devastated," was the best response Shepard could give. "But she's managing, like so many others."

_{And how are you?}_

Shepard paused before answering. The question seemed almost irrelevant. Millions were dead. Liara's father was dead. How she was feeling about any of it as so insignificant. "To be honest...I'm coping. I feel as though I can face anything as long as I have Liara with me."

_{I've known you a long time, Commander, and I've never heard you admit that you needed someone like that,}_ Anderson commented. _{I guess it's about time. Don't let that one get away from one.}_

"I don't intend to," Shepard replied firmly. She wished there was more time to speak to her old friend, to explain just how damned happy Liara made her. However time was moving far too swiftly, even for a conversation that was long overdue. She sighed. "I have to go, sir. We're due to rendezvous with an envoy ship from the Quarians any moment now and my ship is still virtually dead in the water."

_{What the fuck have you been doing to the_ Normandy _, Commander?}_

"Nothing she can't handle," Shepard said honestly. "Stay safe down there. You're not going to get out of being a godfather to a whole swag of little blue babies that easily."

Anderson laughed, it was almost carefree. _{Not on your life, Shepard. I have to see you as a parent.}_

* * *

 

Wistful thoughts of blue babies were pushed to the back of Shepard's mind with the arrival of the Quarian envoy ship less than half an hour later. The admirals of the Migrant Fleet were already assembled in the _Normandy's_ war room when Shepard entered. Liara was already present, her body language tense. Four masked faces turned towards Shepard and she faced the scrutiny of eyes she could barely see let alone read.

Shepard quickly recognised Admirals Han'Gerrel, Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris - a trio of veritable power and influence. However the fourth Admiral caused her to raise her eyebrows in surprise. With her open and relaxed body language, she could tell that Tali'Zorah was exceptionally pleased to see her. The sentiment was mutual. The young Quarian was one of her most trusted friends. It had been Tali's gentle strength that helped drag her away from Kasumi's corpse and escape the burning Collector vessel.

"Tali," Shepard said warmly, striding forward so she could envelope the Quarian in a gentle hug. "Welcome home."

"Thank you, Shepard," Tali replied, the warmth evident in her voice. She lowered her head and looked at the floor. "I wish we could have seen each other sooner, under better circumstances."

"If you were to tell me that the Quarian Fleet is joining our fight against the Reapers then I'd say my circumstances were already a hell of a lot better," Shepard replied. With one hand resting on Tali's shoulder, she turned to face the other admirals expectantly.

"If only it were that simple, Commander Shepard," the soft tones of Admiral Raan answered the question implicit in Shepard's statement.

Shepard found her good mood evaporating swiftly. She addressed Raan since the other Quarians did not want to meet her demanding stare. "I thought you were here to tell me we have the support of your Fleet?"

"That will be difficult, considering our Fleet is engaged in an all out war with the geth," Raan continued.

Shepard felt sick to her stomach. "What have you done?"

Admiral Han'Gerrel stepped forward in a confrontational manner. "We saw an opportunity and we took it!"

"We're already engaged in a war and you had to start another one? What the hell for?"

"For Rannoch!" Gerrel responded tersely. "We managed to push them back to the home world. The Quarian people are on the brink of finally reclaiming what is ours-"

"Bosh'tet!" Admiral Koris interjected harshly, stabbing his finger towards Gerrel. "You and your warmongers have driven our liveships to the brink of annihilation!" Koris turned to Shepard, his threatening gesture becoming one of earnest appeal. "Commander, although the campaign was initially swift and in our favour, we have subsequently discovered that the geth are being controlled by the Reapers. With the upgrades they have become considerably more formidable."

"Your civilian ships have been dragged into this?" Shepard asked in disbelief.

"Yes! The fleet is trapped and they're being decimated," Koris explained, shaking his head.

Barely managing to contain her anger, Shepard rounded on Gerrel. Her fist was clenched at her side and she had to suppress an overwhelming urge to smash it straight through his mask. "You delusional arse! The rest of the galaxy is fighting for their lives and you go and start another war?"

"We have not come for an argument, Shepard-" Gerrel tried to protest.

"Well you've damn well got one!" she hissed through clenched teeth. "How do you expect me to give a fuck about your people when you've brought this on yourselves."

As Shepard spoke she happened to catch Liara's eye, the asari was giving her a calm, steady stare. When she saw Shepard was looking at her, she responded with an almost imperceptible shake of her head. Shepard abruptly cut short her tirade. She unclenched her fists and drew in a calming breath.

"What do you need to save your people?" she asked, looking towards the other three as opposed to Gerrel.

"We've managed to locate the source of the Reaper signal." Tali was the one to reply. "It is being broadcast from a geth dreadnought. Shut it down and the fleet has a chance to escape."

"The _Normandy's_ stealth drive can help us slip through," Shepard added with a curt nod. "However once we get this done, the Migrant Fleet is going to withdraw. I am not helping you so that you can continue your war against the geth."

"We can finish the fight on our own, Commander Shepard," Gerrel added coldly.

"There's no fight to finish!" Koris protested. "We should be talking with the geth, not trying to wipe them out."

"We should never have involved the liveships!" Raan made a sweeping gesture with her hand.

While the admirals descended into a heated argument, Shepard turned to Tali. She jerked her head towards the exit and the two of them left the room. Liara slipped out behind them. With the Quarian voices fading as they moved down the corridor, Shepard was able to relax slightly.

"I'll help get your liveships free, Tali. I promise. Beyond that however-"

Tali responded with a grateful nod. "I know, Shepard. You'll do what you can. I wish we were reuniting under more favourable circumstances where I could properly congratulate the two of you. I hope you'll forgive Garrus for sharing your news before you had a chance to tell me yourselves."

Shepard felt a gentle movement against her hand as Liara entwined their fingers in a gentle grip.

"Thank you, Tali'Zorah," Liara replied on the couple's behalf. "They say nothing good comes out of war, but sometimes it helps us appreciate the things that are important. Like love...and friendship."

Tali shook her head. "I am sorry that you have been dragged into our mess."

"Cleaning up other people's mess is my speciality," Shepard replied. "Make your preparations, Tali. I'll be seeing you next to the airlock in thirty minutes."

As Tali departed and left the two of them alone in the corridor, Liara tightened her grip on the Commander's hand. "I know I am not the obvious choice to board the dreadnought…but I formally request to join the away team on this mission."

Shepard had already decided to bring EDI for her tech skills. She knew that Liara's request originated from a desire for revenge. The geth were being controlled by Reapers. It was motivation at its basest, the kind Shepard found it difficult to condone, and yet this was her bondmate. She owed her this, even if her instincts were to say no.

"On one condition," Shepard began. "That you stasis every damn geth hunter before they sneak up on me and punch through my shields with those shotguns of theirs."

"Done," Liara replied. She let go of Shepard's hand and made to move away. "I will not let you down."

Shepard watched Liara walk away, knowing that she herself had to return to the war room and do her best to diffuse the situation with the Quarian admirals lest she had an all out brawl on her hands.

"You never have," Shepard added when Liara was out of earshot.

* * *

 

When the elevator doors opened onto the armoury, Shepard found it empty save for Cortez, a group of techies bustling around the shuttle and Liara. The asari was kneeling on the deck, wearing only her black, form-fitting undersuit, much the same as the one Shepard wore under her own armour. She looked up in the process of fastening her one of her greaves. Without saying a word, Shepard retrieved Liara's second greave from the deck and knelt in front of her. Liara stretched out a slender calf muscle in response, allowing Shepard to strap it on. The Commander's movements were quick and precise – thigh plates followed the greaves, then chest and gauntlets. Throughout the armouring process neither said a word, not until Shepard had spun Liara around to strap up the last remaining pieces of the plates that protected her back.

"You are actually intending to let me do this?" Liara finally asked in a quiet voice.

"Do what?" Shepard asked. "Your job?"

The blunt question was not reflected in her actions. She gently jerked the last strap tight, securing the protective covering in place against her lover's fragile body. Her hands then encircled Liara's waist. The asari moved in her arms, turning until she faced Shepard and was able to stare up at her with a determined gaze.

"My job," Liara replied fiercely – more of a promise than a statement.

Heedless of any eyes on the pair of them, Shepard ignored propriety and drew the asari in close for a deep kiss. It lasted for mere seconds, far less time than either of them would have liked, and yet at that moment in time it had to be enough.

"Is that a ritual you share with all your squadmates, Commander?" EDI's emotionless voice interrupted them.

Shepard turned to see both EDI and Tali staring at them. Since one had no expression and the other's was unreadable behind her mask, she felt somewhat better than if it had been Vega or Javik. The Prothean had not offered her congratulations on her bonding with Liara so much as a verbal dressing down for giving into base urges during wartime.

"The Commander would be more than happy to give you a kiss if you asked, EDI," Tali added, the amusement plain in her voice.

EDI cocked her head to one side. "That will not be necessary. I am quite sure that Jeff would not approve."

"Let's just do this, shall we?" Shepard straightened and moved away from Liara. The heat in her cheeks had already gone, it was definitely time for her game face.

If anything was enough to dispel the almost light-hearted attitude amongst her squadmates, it was the sight of the warring Quarian and geth fleets. Engaged in all out space combat, it was pure, destructive bedlam. With the _Normandy's_ stealth drive engaged, making their way through the chaos was a relative cake walk compared to what they found when they reached the massive geth dreadnought. Still patched into the Normandy's system's, EDI informed them that all the vessel's docking ports were physically secured save one that had been heavily damaged during the course of the battle. If it was to be their only option, then Shepard was damned if she was going to risk the entire squad. Without even looking at Liara, she made the decision to secure it herself.

It was only when she actually stood in the tube some ten minutes later that she realised she ought to have discreetly delegated it to Tali or EDI.

The docking tube had been riddled with cannon fire, great gaping holes had been torn through the structure, leaving it held together only by god knows what. Shepard's boots felt solid enough beneath her, but in order to make her way down the tube she had to use the weight of her body as she walked to rotate it. The zig-zagging path she made as she moved was torturously slow. All the while she was faced with a view that turned her stomach.

She was N7. It should have been easy but Shepard found it difficult to concentrate. Her mind was occupied with memories of being blown out into space, her air supply failing.

_{Shepard…are you alright?}_ Liara's voice sounded concerned over the commlink.

Shepard knew her squadmates would be waiting, becoming anxious as the minutes passed.

"Yeah," Shepard replied uneasily. She wished she could keep her gaze fixated on the end but the necessity of avoiding the holes in the tube meant otherwise. "It's just slow going. Almost-"

The heart-wrenched screech of tearing metal interrupted her mid-sentence. At the moment that the tube shuddered beneath her feet, Shepard yelled in fright and scrambled forward. She only narrowly avoided remaining connected to the part of the tube that was now floating away below her. With her breath hammering inside her suit, she realised that the link was still open.

_{Evan?}_ Liara sounded as panicked as she slipped into using first names. _{Talk to me?}_

The only response she would have received for several seconds was Shepard's heavy breathing, gradually beginning to slow. "I'm getting too old for this shit," Shepard eventually replied. _Or else I've lost my nerve_.

_{What happened?}_

"Let's just say you guys won't be getting into the dreadnought this way."

Shepard steeled herself and tried to continue walking forward. However she found she could not take a single step. It was as though her boots were clamped in place. Belatedly she realised her legs were trembling.  

"Fuck. Come on, Ev. Would you rather be stuck in a tube or on a nice, solid geth ship?"

_{If you are trying prove you are okay, then you are failing miserably.}_

Shepard realised she had spoken aloud. "Did we ever discuss finding a nice planet to settle down on when this is all over?"

_{You are not making any sense. I am not sure this is the time-}_

"It's the perfect time," Shepard replied quickly, trying to keep panic from entering her voice as the remainder of the tube gave another shudder beneath her weight. "Seriously, where should we live?"

_{I honestly did not think you would want to settle on a planet,}_ Liara replied uncertainly. _{Given that you grew up in space.}_

"I want our kids to have grass beneath their feet, Liara – real, live grass. The kind you can dig up and find dirt beneath – just like their Mother did," Shepard found talking made the process less torturous. Another quick glance upwards confirmed that she was nearing the end of the tube. "And a house, a proper one – not just a set of rooms with no windows."

_{Are you sure you are okay?}_ Liara prodded.

"Are you trying to get out of answering my question?" Shepard avoided the one Liara asked her.

_{Perhaps – I had not considered our options. I should think that as long as I am with you…}_

"Brilliant. I'm sure property prices on Eden Prime will be affordable after the War. Even with what I get paid." Shepard actually managed a grin as she replied. She finally reached the end of the tube and the airlock was within reach. "I'm through. Thanks for the verbal support. Patching through to EDI."

_{Commander?}_ The AI's voice responded quickly.

"Find me an alternate tube, I'm going to have to clear it out myself so the three of you can board."

Securing another tube was straightforward enough. Although geth resistance was determined, Shepard was even more so. Following her near failure in the tube, she was eager to prove to herself that she had not lost her nerve. It was relatively easy so long as she could not see the vast emptiness of space beneath her feet. She wholeheartedly approved of the geth's attitude to windows. They were structural weaknesses, therefore they did not have any.

However when she linked up with the rest of her team after overriding another airlock, she was unable to look Liara in the eye at first. It wasn't until the asari chose a discreet moment to reach out and take her by the elbow that she was able to acknowledge what had happened earlier. EDI had planned a route through their defence network using maintenance shafts. It was circuitous, but if they moved quickly, they could avoid most of the geth presence. Shepard turned, watching Tali and EDI scale a ladder in front of them until both were gone from sight on the landing above. Part of her wanted to admit what had happened, but the Commander knew that they should be pressing on towards their objective – the dreadnought's Operations Centre. As Shepard went to climb the ladder, she felt a hand on her wrist.

"Liara-" Her tone was defensive from the moment she opened her mouth.

"What happened in that tube?" Liara was directly to the point.

"Nothing," Shepard replied quickly, trying to move forward.  

Liara tightened her grip, clearly unconvinced. "We do not have time for you to cover anything up."

"It's nothing...just the day I died I…" she swallowed as her words trailed off. "Space...Zero-G...it was similar to my response on Tuchanka – to Kalros. Let's just say that your Commander is not the woman she was."

"Rubbish," Liara responded abruptly. "You have never stopped being that woman. Trauma as a result of past events does not make you any less effective in combat."

Shepard disagreed, but instead she reached out to cup the mask that covered Liara's jaw, desperately wanting the contact with her skin as opposed to the gloves she wore. The gesture was over in a second. No sooner had she let her hand fall, Liara was scaling the ladder in front of them. Shepard berated herself for staring at her lover's arse as she climbed.

"The Ops Centre is just through the door ahead, Shepard," Tali pointed out when all four of them were on the landing. "There will be resistance."

"Gotcha," Shepard nodded. She reached behind her, hand instinctively going straight to the Cerberus Harrier in its folded position on her back. The weapon began deploying upon contact. By the time she lifted it to her shoulder, the assault rifle was ready to fire. "Stay sharp, focus on the Hunters. Liara will stasis as many as she can but the rest of us need to take down their shields first and they won't be able to re-cloak. Tali can hack single targets so if its glowing orange, leave it and let it help us."

"Understood, Shepard," EDI responded, drawing out her Phalanx heavy pistol.

"We're with you." The Wraith shotgun in Tali's hands seemed incongruent with her delicate frame – but she could wield it effortlessly.

Liara didn't need to say a word in response, she drew her Carnifex and her biotics flared in preparation. In the confines of a ship, her singularity and stasis powers could easily turn the tide.

Almost from the moment the door opened the geth were on them in waves. Shepard scrambled for cover at the first opportunity she received, her body slamming into a console as she hunkered down. Geth pulse rifle fire spattered above her head. Two sharp retorts echoed around the Ops centre before Tali took cover to reload the Wraith. She heard the crackle of EDI's overload as its chain effect skipped between geth troopers and hunters alike – decimating their shields. At one point Shepard turned to fire at a cluster of troopers in front of her when she was staggered backwards by the bolts from a geth plasma shotgun. Her shields wavered in the face of the shot and she was sent sprawling backwards. Shepard's reactions were sluggish as she tried to recover. The second shot would have torn through her shields before she could bring up her own weapon. Everything happened so quickly, she was still trying to respond when the decloaked geth hunter suddenly froze in front of her. A split second later, two shots were fired in rapid succession from a Carnifex, splitting its head open. Shepard jerked her head around to see Liara with a relieved expression on her face.

Shepard was well aware that it had taken them almost ten minutes of frenetic combat to clear out all vestiges of geth resistance from the Ops Centre. It was time that alerted the geth to their presence and also gave them time to lock down the Reaper signal.

Tali's voice was crestfallen as she informed Shepard. "Bosh'tet! We can't shut it down from here. I'm sorry-"

"Apologies aren't necessary, Tali," Shepard interrupted. "Just tell me where we have to go."

Tali brought up the dreadnought's schematics on the console in front of them. "The drive core. We should be able to continue using the maintenance shafts but I can't guarantee that the geth haven't locked them down."

"Shepard, I can attempt to circumvent any such geth measures to curtail our activities," EDI added. "Given my processing power, it is likely I will be successful."

"Fucking fantastic," Shepard responded with a nod. "Let's hear it for A.I. optimism."

Geth pulse rifle fire arced just over her head a split second later, indicating it was well and truly time for them to be pushing onwards. With Shepard covering the rest of her squad, they fell back towards the tunnel. EDI sealed the door behind them and they were safe for the time being.

"Okay people, double time. Tali, you've got point, lead the way."

"I am sorry about that hunter, Shepard," Liara said as they moved. Shepard had paused to reach down and help Liara up a steep ledge. "I should have been faster."

"It's combat. We can never be as fast as we'd like," Shepard said, enjoying just the brief contact of their hands. She had to resist the urge to retain her grip even after she'd helped Liara up. "I guess that's why someone invented shields."

The comment made Shepard pause briefly to check her shield strength following the point blank shotgun blast. EDI was bypassing the security lock on a door ahead. As she had suspected, they had been damaged and were functioning at sixty percent. She could only hope that it would be enough to see her through the rest of the mission.

"You're worried about something."

"Huh?" Shepard glanced up from her omni-tool to find Liara giving her a level stare. She shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Regretting taking your bondmate into combat already?" The asari even dared to smirk a little following her statement.

If Shepard was being completely honest with herself, she would have said yes. Not for the fact that Liara was not a capable combatant but for the pure, simple reason that she wanted to keep her safe at any cost. It was an impossible thought. In the midst of a galactic war, nowhere was safe. With the door open, their group pressed forward into the next chamber – a set of ladders led directly upwards. Tali and her shotgun were in the lead, closely followed by EDI, then Liara with Shepard bringing up the rear. As she and Liara paused at the base of the ladder, Shepard gave Liara her reply.

"Yes, because you're bloody distracting," she said gruffly, quickly. "I see the way your arse looks in that suit and all I want to do is rip it off you."

"You can rip it off me later – as you so eloquently put it," Liara answered.

Resisting the urge to make another comment, Shepard propelled Liara up the ladder with a helping hand. The grin faded quickly from her face. _Shit, I have to stop behaving like this during combat._ She did however find an idle moment several minutes later to wonder what being in love with peace time would feel like. Having lived much of her adult life in the midst of combat, it was essentially unknown territory.

True to her promise, EDI was able to open the bulkheads that had been sealed in the wake of their incursion. Their small squad made it the length of the dreadnought with several small fire fights along the way. However their effective combination of her own firepower, Tali and EDI's tech powers and Liara's biotics meant that they were able to overcome any resistance with a determined effort. EDI's overload stripped shields rapidly before she lit up targets with incinerate. To add to the potential for fire explosions, Shepard had equipped incendiary ammunition on her Harrier. The powerful Cerberus weapon made short work of geth troopers. Often Liara would warp one only to have Shepard kill it before she could detonate the power. No one cared, as long as the targets went down and their route to the drive core was as smooth as possible whilst in the bowels of a geth dreadnought.

"Shepard, the drive core is ahead," Tali informed them.

"Right, we locate the source of the signal and shut it the fuck down," Shepard ordered crisply. "Tali, you're our geth expert, you can find-"

Almost as soon as Shepard entered the cavernous drive core her eyes were scanning, searching for possible threats. When she saw what lay at its heart, she cut short her order to Tali. There was no need, everyone could see the source of the signal. Trussed up with his limbs secured by metal shackles, was Legion. The geth platform that had assisted her to bring down the Collectors was somehow being used by the Reapers. Issuing a quick set of commands to her squadmates to watch the perimeter, Shepard surged forward and stopped just short of the raised dais. The bright light at the centre of Legions' head was trained directly on her.

"Shepard-Commander, help us," it stated succinctly.

To hear the word 'help' coming from something that looked vastly similar to the machines she had been destroying for the past hour was slightly disconcerting. Nevertheless, Shepard had very quickly come to accept the geth platform as another one of her squad members. For all his external appearance, Legion was different.

"Legion!" Tali's outburst followed almost as quickly. "What have they done to you?"

There was honest emotion in the Quarian's voice. While initially there had been intense hostility between creator and machine, the two of them had formed an acceptance that was verging on friendship whilst fighting the Collectors side by side.

"Creator-Zorah, the machine uses our networking architecture to broadcast the old machine command signal to all geth simultaneously. We are being used in the destruction of the Creator Fleet. It must stop," Legion responded.

Just in looking at the machine that held Legion, Shepard realised she was very much out of her depth. "So we get you out of there and the signal stops?"

"Yes." Legion's head moved as though it was nodding. "However we must advise that it will be difficult."

"I do not think so," EDI interjected. "Commander, if I may? It appears as though Legion is being restrained with A.I shackles. They are comparable to those that held my programme whilst the Normandy was under the control of Cerberus. If you allow me, I can override them."

"Have I congratulated myself for bringing you along on this mission?" Shepard idly commented as EDI went to work at a nearby console.

"Shepard, the geth are going to be incoming. As soon as we free Legion, we're going to need to get the hell out of here," Liara pointed out, moving to her lover's side.

"Agreed," Shepard replied with a curt nod.

Whilst scanning the surrounding space, Shepard kept an eye on the platform. It took EDI less than five minutes to free the geth from his shackles, but it felt like an eternity. She finally watched Legion's streamlined exterior drop down to the deck. He landed with a sharp, loud clang and almost immediately began working on his omni-tool. He looked up when Shepard approached.

"Shepard-Commander, we have disabled the geth drive core and weapons. The dreadnought has ceased attacking the Creator Fleet."

Suddenly the deck beneath Shepard's feet shuddered violently – her years of experience told her immediately that they were under attack. She tapped into her commlink and used it to contact Gerrel. "This is Shepard, the dreadnought has been disabled. What the hell are you doing?"

"Destroying the damn thing!" came Gerrel's succinct, unapologetic reply.

"We're still on board!" Shepard yelled, thoroughly pissed off.

"Then I suggest you get off as quickly as possible."

"Sanctimonious arsehole," Shepard hissed, not caring whether the link was still active. She looked up at her squad. "We'll never make it back to the Normandy in time. Any suggestions? Escape pods?"

"The geth do not have the same requirements as organics, Shepard-Commander," Legion explained patiently. "However there are geth fighters housed on the deck above this one. We could pilot one."

"Perfect," Shepard replied quickly. "Shepard to Normandy, move away from the dreadnought. We're getting out in a geth fighter."

"Great. There are hundreds of geth fighters out here. How the hell are we going to know which one is you?" was Joker's obvious reply.

"We'll…waggle our wings or something!" Shepard replied in a terse voice. A heavy cannon blast crashed into the bulkhead just above her head. She ducked and rolled so that the second and third blasts narrowly missed her body. "Shit!"

"Prime-unit!" Legion said, his metallic tones not betraying any sense of the urgency that Shepard herself felt.

"Great, I've got hostile geth and the whole Quarian Fleet firing at me," Shepard hissed to no one in particular. She hunkered down behind a console and peered over the top to see the red-glare from the Prime's armour several metres in front of her. The rest of her squad had also sought cover. "Tali, EDI, Liara, follow Legion to the hanger deck. I'll distract this guy until you're out."

"Engaging a foe of such size on your own is ill-advised, Commander" EDI pointed out loudly and unhelpfully.

The Prime fired again, this time its pulse cannons slammed into the console Shepard was using as cover. The resulting electrical explosion sent her flying backwards, out of cover and directly into the Prime's line of sight. Sparks were all she could see as she threw her body into a desperate roll to avoid the blast she knew was coming. When it hit her Harrier was knocked from her hand. She didn't hear it clatter across the deck, the ringing in her ears was too loud. The smell of something burning registered before the pain and Shepard realised that her weakened shields had been completely destroyed. However the third shot that would have killed her dissipated in front of her eyes as it slammed into a biotic barrier instead of her body. She glanced up in time to see the Prime struck with both overload and sabotage in quick succession. Momentarily losing control, the Prime destroyed its own combat drone and turret even as weapons fire rattled across its armoured carapace. Shepard scrambled for her gun, reaching it only in time for arms to wrap around her chest and start dragging her backwards. The inhuman strength told her immediately it was Legion.

Shepard instinctively struggled to get back in the fight – slightly concussed when she yelled out at the Prime, "Your mother was a snowblower!"

"Do not even think about it!" Liara's angry tone betrayed her feelings on Shepard's actions as she covered their retreat with a barrier.

She glanced back down over her shoulder at the Commander and her lips tightened to keep from calling her bondmate a rash idiot with a death wish. As they fell back, she could tell that EDI and Tali were managing with the Prime extremely admirably. Its final death rattle came just as Legion dragged Shepard through an adjoining door. Exhausted, Liara let the barrier drop while Legion hauled Shepard to her feet. The remainder of her shields had taken most of the cannon blast, but large sections of her Kassa Fabrications armour were black and burned.

"A lucky shot," Shepard said sheepishly as Liara seized her by the elbow.

"You will be lucky if I do not kick your arse," Liara growled as she propelled Shepard forward, glancing over her shoulder to check that their other two squadmates were still with them. EDI was also slightly black around the edges from a narrow miss, but they were otherwise unharmed.

"You sound like my mother," Shepard observed as she tried to make her own legs work.

It was a desperate dash to the geth fighter hanger as the Quarian Fleet ripped into the helpless dreadnought. With Legion half carrying Shepard they made it within barely any time to spare. The four man squad had to become extremely friendly in the small space behind the pilot's chair as they scrambled aboard. No sooner had their geth ally powered up the small craft, the connecting gangway they had just run across disintegrated.

"Tali?" Shepard said, she kept her voice low because the lack of space meant that she was almost sharing the Quarian's suit. Another explosion rocked the fighter as Legion guided them clear of the hanger bay.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Don't let me anywhere near Admiral Gerrel," she growled through gritted teeth. "Or I swear my fist is going to connect with his face – his actual face. I'll take great pleasure in giving him the worst damn infection he's ever had!"

 


	22. Taking the Bastard Down

**A/N:** Occasionally I use a line or two verbatim from the game. This chapter features one of my favourite lines (two really) - the subtle inflection in Jennifer Hale's voice is pure magic.

**Rannoch, Tikkun System**

Shepard watched with exhausted satisfaction as the combined firepower of the Quarian Fleet slammed into the massive Reaper down below her. The synthetic being that had been controlling the geth was brutally pummelled into submission, its ruined shell hitting the earth with bone-jarring force.

She remained tense, expecting it to rise as it had done twice already. When there was no response other than several surges of dispersing energy rippling across its carapace, Shepard finally relaxed her aching arms and let the targeting laser drop. The Reaper was down. With the laser synced to the entire fleet, she'd managed to dodge and weave from its beam long enough to take the damn thing down. The laser grew heavy in her hands so she stowed it on her back alongside her Harrier. Somewhere in the distance behind her she heard a combined whoop of joy from Garrus and Tali. She guessed that Liara would be uttering a sigh of relief, or else an angry growl that her bondmate had just gone one on one with a Reaper without asking permission. Shepard supposed she had been lucky. The same armour that had been scorched by the geth pulse cannons earlier that day was now even further destroyed, one side was a blackened mess where only a few flecks of its original red colouring showed through. Shepard's cheek smarted painfully from what she hoped were minor burns, however her hair had not been so lucky. Without looking in a mirror she could not be sure, but the smell of burning hair that now filled her nostrils told her it was not good. _Why the fuck did I have to lose my fucking helmet?_ Shepard asked herself as she walked forward to the edge of the outcrop on which she was standing. The Reaper lay motionless, almost pounded into the arid dust of Rannoch.

Before the rest of her squad reached her, Shepard was focused on the Reaper's 'eye.' As she watched, it swivelled in its socket and the flickering red light trained itself on her once again.

"Shepard."

The Reaper's voice was painful. It felt like a thousand voices speaking her name all at once.

"Guess I should be flattered you know my name," Shepard replied. She wished she didn't feel quite so much like an ant with a boot hanging over her head.

"Harbinger speaks of you," it replied.

"Yeah? Considering I kicked his arse last time we tangoed he's probably feeling a little sore about the whole thing. I wouldn't trust anything he says."

"Your continuing efforts to resist us are merely delaying the inevitable. You will fail – as those before you have failed." The Reaper spoke as if it were stating a fact.

Shepard was not impressed. "And why is that?"

"Chaos cannot be allowed to prosper, order must be restored. We represent that order. This cycle has reached its zenith therefore the purge must be completed-"

_Fuck this useless bullshit!_ Shepard thought as she listened to it drone. The Reaper's voice was giving her a damn headache. "And who are you to decide that for us? Our Gods?" Shepard demanded. "Because I believe there's only one person controlling my destiny and that's me!"

"Individualistic sentiment – you think only for yourselves, that is why your cycle will fall-"

Shepard thought of the brave individuals who stood with her against the Reapers and those that had already given their lives – especially those closest to her.

Kaidan Alenko. Jacob Taylor. Kasumi Goto. Mordin Solus. Aethyta. Her crew. Her family.

This ancient being insulted their memory when it implied that they had given their lives for a lost cause. With their faces fixed firmly at the front of her mind, Shepard took a step forward and jabbed her finger towards the Reaper – much as she would when dressing down a recalcitrant crew member. "You're wrong. That is why we will succeed!"

"The cycle must continue," the Reaper repeated uselessly. "All organic life must be purged in order to restore balance."

_All organic life must be purged_. It sounded so impersonal, clinical – as though they were not standing on this arid landscape discussing the fate of billions of individuals. Shepard desperately wanted to believe that she would finally get the opportunity to have the family she talked about with Liara. This discussion was not moving her any closer toward that goal.

"You know what?" Shepard said as she swung the targeting laser over her shoulder and back into firing position. "This conversation is over. I've had enough of your bullshit to last a lifetime. You can tell your friends we're coming for them."

With an emphatic jerk on her finger, Shepard lit up the Reaper with the targeting laser one more time. On cue the heavy hitting projectiles came crashing downwards, puncturing the Reaper's body and effectively silencing it. In the wake of the orbital strike, it lay as a smouldering ruin on the plain below her.

"I'll tell them myself," she growled with satisfaction. That particular Reaper would not be returning to its friends.

Shepard's ears were ringing in the wake of the conversation. She lost track of time and did not hear the approaching footsteps behind her. It was only when she turned that she found Liara standing not a metre away – Tali, Garrus and Legion were not far behind. Liara's lips were moving, but no sound was emerging. Shepard thought that perhaps it was her ears, but she soon realised that the doctor was having difficulty forming words.

"Y-you...killed a Reaper," Liara finally managed, her voice a strangled whisper.

Shepard shrugged, suddenly feeling slightly overwhelmed. "Technically the Quarian Fleet killed the Reaper. I just pointed the laser."

"It was firing at you, Shepard, not the Quarian Fleet," Liara said as she reached out a hand and held the side of Shepard's head. With gentle pressure, she turned her face so she could study the burns. She sighed, sounding incredibly relieved. "You're going to need to get your cheek looked at...and a haircut."

Shepard anxiously lifted her own hand to her head. It was difficult to tell through her gloves but she could tell from the strands she grasped that it was a lot shorter than it used to be. "Damn, just when I was getting used to wearing it longer. Guess that's another thing to be pissed off at the Reapers for."

Liara's lips did not curl upwards at Shepard's attempt at humour. She remained thoroughly unimpressed. "Be thankful it was just your hair. It could have been other, more important parts."

"Holy shit, Shepard," Garrus on the other hand did sound impressed. "You've got more balls than a Krogan. I thought you were toast for sure when you stumbled and lost the laser."

Liara let out an anguished gasp as Garrus casually dismissed Shepard's near-death experience.

"It's not a pleasant experience to feel as though you're cooking inside your hardsuit," Shepard chuckled in reply. It had been the worst moment. Sidestepping away from the Reaper's beam while still trying to keep the laser targeted, her boot had snagged on a rock. She'd gone crashing to the ground, losing the laser and some of her hair in the process.

Liara snorted - with a wrathful glare shared between both her bondmate and Garrus, she stalked several metres away from the pair of them and sat down on the ground. Garrus shrugged apologetically but Shepard guiltily knew that she had been insensitive. She could only imagine the horror she would have felt had it been Liara standing alone in front of a Reaper. Shepard started towards her bondmate when Legion approached. She reluctantly realised that there were more pressing problems than apologising to a pissed off asari lover. Her gloves dragged through her hair for the second time.

"We can confirm that the geth are no longer being directed by the old Machines," he said. If he were organic, Shepard would have thought that he sounded worried. "We have ceased firing on the Creators."

Shepard tapped into her commlink with the Quarian Fleet. "Admiral Gerrel, can you confirm the status of the geth Fleet?"

_{They've stopped firing. They are completely vulnerable, Commander. Well done!}_ Gerrel replied enthusiastically. _{Admiral Gerrel to all ships, fire at will!}_

_Fire at will?_ The three words sounded harsh in Shepard's mind. "Belay that!" she growled even though she had absolutely no authority in the Quarian chain of command.

_{What is the meaning of this, Commander Shepard?}_ Gerrel sounded frustrated.

"I didn't almost get toasted down here so the Quarians and geth could continue pummelling each other!"

"Shepard-Commander, if we might suggest an alternative?" Legion stepped forward again, his omni-tool bright and busy in front of him. "If you will allow us to upload the Old Machine code to all geth-"

"Legion! You're not seriously suggesting…" Tali joined in the conversation, her voice sounding nervous, her tone bordering on fear. "We just freed the geth from the Reaper's control. If you do that then they will be as powerful as they were. They will annihilate my people!"

"No," Legion replied succinctly. "We will have free will. We could help you fight the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander, will you permit us to upload the code?"

Shepard was torn. On one hand Tali was right, they had just risked their lives to wrestle the geth from out under the Reapers control. Yet on the other the geth were an incredibly advanced race of sentient beings, their military and engineering expertise were remarkable. If she was to close off this as an option then she believed they would all lose, not just the geth themselves. She looked towards Tali. Her friend's stance was tense and worried. She was wringing her slim fingers in front of her as though torn with indecision.

"Tali?" Shepard asked quietly. She did not require the young Quarian's permission or input into her decision, but she owed that much to her.

"Shepard..." Tali shook her head. She turned and looked towards Legion who seemed to be staring at her in anticipation. "Don't look at me like that, Legion," she muttered.

"We have no expression, Creator-Zorah," Legion pointed out. "We do however…regret the war against the Creators."

"You had no choice," Tali remarked sadly. "My people tried to destroy you."

"We did not choose," Legion explained. "We acted according to the parameters of our programming. We were attacked, we fought back. Give us the freedom to choose now, Creator-Zorah." Legion paused, his facial protuberances shifting in a manner similar to a human raising their eyebrows. "Please?"

Shepard studied Tali. She knew that the young Quarian she rescued three years earlier would never have thought she would be in a position to decide the fate of the entire geth race. It was a terrible burden she had dumped on her slender shoulders, but she bore it with grace and wisdom. A determined nod followed eventually. "Do it, Legion," Tali said firmly.

Shepard agreed, although there was a slight hesitation as she spoke. "Upload the code." She couldn't help but feel that she was either gaining a powerful ally in their war against the Reapers, or another enemy.

Legion went to work immediately. A sphere appeared between his hands, revolving as he began to work.

"Shepard, the Heavy Fleet are continuing to attack," Tali said in horror. "If we don't do anything, the geth will be wiped out."

"Fuck that bastard, Gerrel!" Shepard hissed as she accessed her comm. "This is Commander Shepard to the Quarian Fleet, call off your attack! The Reaper is dead, the geth are no longer a threat!"

_{On whose authority, Commander?}_ was Gerrel's terse response.

"This is Admiral Tali'Zorah," Tali responded quickly. "Shepard speaks with my authority as an Admiral of the Fleet."

"Upload at twenty percent," Legion informed them.

With baited breath, Shepard awaited some sort of response. Her mind imagined the two fleets in orbit, precious ships that could be put to use fighting the Reapers being destroyed needlessly. She closed her eyes, it was a sickening waste. For a few moments, she did not even realise that she was running her hands through her shortened hair in agitation.

"Hasn't there been enough death?" Shepard spoke, intentionally keeping her link to the Fleet open. "Enough war between the Quarians and geth? There should only be one war – the war against the Reapers. The war for galactic survival. Keep fighting if you must, but you'll all die one way or another...unless we can put an end to infighting. Both races have suffered, I know the Quarians were driven from their planet, and that they tried to destroy their creations but it's time to end that, end it now."

"Upload at forty percent."

_{This is Admiral Zaal'Koris, Shepard also speaks with my authority,}_ another voice added weight behind her words - as Shepard had hoped.

_Come on damn you!_ Shepard opened her eyes and looked from Legion to Tali - creator and creation standing side by side. It was a small start, but surely that was as good an indication as any that the truce would eventually lead to peace?

"Sixty percent."

"Gerrel, stand down. The Admirals have spoken and you are outnumbered."

Shepard recognised the soft tones of Admiral Raan and a hopeful smile crossed her lips. She could almost hear Gerrel cursing under his breath.

"Eighty percent."

_If this doesn't work I'm going to have some very pissed off Quarians baying for my blood_ , Shepard thought.

_{The Fleet is standing down,}_ Gerrel sounded defeated but resigned to accepting the decision of the other Admirals.

"Error," Legion suddenly said.

"Shit, what do you mean error?" Shepard asked nervously.

"Final dissemination of the code is impossible without direct interface. Shepard-Commander, we must go to them."

Shepard frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"I am sorry, it is the only way," the geth platform said.

"Legion!" Tali sounded distressed.

"Creator-Zorah." Legion turned to the Quarian. "We have valued your…friendship."

"Friends?" Tali said uncertainly. She paused, and then nodded slowly. "Yes, we are friends, Legion. Goodbye...I think."

Before Shepard could say anything further, Legion collapsed to his knees. The light in his aperture suddenly winked out and the platform slumped forward. The uncontrolled way in which the metal slammed into the ground indicated that the runtimes within the geth formerly known as Legion had already departed. For all intents and purposes, Legion was dead. Shepard felt suddenly bereft. Her exhaustion nearly overwhelmed her completely. Curing the genophage, ending the war between the Quarians and the geth - somehow she had succeeded where others would have failed.

With almost zombie-like steps, Shepard turned and looked at the small group of people standing on the cliff top with her. Garrus and Tali were staring out over the arid but strangely beautiful landscape of Rannoch. A small part of her supposed that she ought to be surprised when Garrus placed a very capable arm around Tali's slim shoulders and drew her in close. Shepard wasn't surprised, she recognised the language they were speaking and smiled. Liara was still sitting on the ground, she was moving towards her when she noticed a gleam of red metal striding towards their group. The shape looked suspiciously like one of the geth Primes that had been trying to kill her not an hour earlier.

"Shepard-Commander," it began.

The platform sounded so similar to Legion that Shepard dared to hope. "Legion?"

"No," it replied brusquely. "Legion sacrificed itself so that we could become…free." It spoke the word as though it was a strange concept. "We stand before you of our own volition and offer our support against the Old Machines. Will you accept our assistance, Shepard-Commander?"

"Damn bloody right I will!" Shepard hoped her voice didn't sound overly enthusiastic.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

_Overhead, the same three pale moons hung suspended in the sky. Her boots crunched on the same harsh, midnight black gravel as Shepard took a few experimental steps forward. The Commander already knew what she would find when she lifted her gaze to the horizon. The pleasantly asymmetrical outlines of the Prothean ruins stood almost as guardians. Vaguely wondering whether the ruins were her destination, Shepard continued walking forward. The hesitant steps gradually gave way to a brisk stride and then a jog. Shepard was unsure how long she maintained her momentum but it soon became obvious that she was not actually getting any closer to the ruins. She was moving, the landscape changed slightly, but the ruins remained cruelly out of reach. Being no stranger to the nonsensical world of dreams Shepard accepted that, this time around at least, she was not supposed to be able to reach them. Mere acceptance did nothing to diminish her frustration. She desperately wanted answers, even the cryptic kind offered by her recurring dreams._

" _Fuck this shit," Shepard growled as she slowed her pace to a walk._

_She was not sure why she even bothered to continue walking, but it was something to do in the moments before she woke. Either that or experience another of the attacks that left her in pain and gasping for breath._

" _Lost, Commander Shepard?"_

_The voice was familiar. She spun around, her boots crunching on the gravel as she moved. Her mouth parted slightly as she observed a figure approaching. It sounded and looked like him._

_"Kaidan?"_

_Dressed in an Alliance uniform that was several years out of date, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko regarded her with the calm expression that was his trademark. Alenko had died on Virmire as a result of her decision to save Ashley. She might as well have put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger herself._

_"You look a little pale, Commander," he said, a small smile on his face. "Do I not haunt your dreams often? Was I just another soldier dying under your command."_

_Shepard shook her head. "You know that's not it."_

_"Tell me something...before I died I admitted I was in love with you. It was stupid really, I knew you were gay, but I couldn't help myself. Had I not said that, would you have saved me over Ash?"_

" _Kaidan," Shepard whispered brokenly. "You know that had nothing to do with it."_

_He cocked his head to one side and studied her. "How do I know that? I died, Commander Shepard. I died whilst waiting for you to save my ass."_

_Of course he was dead. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko had been killed in action three years ago. Whatever this thing was – a construct of her mind – it wasn't him._

" _What do you want?" Shepard asked coldly. She was suddenly annoyed. This was her mind, wasn't she allowed pleasant dreams about a future with Liara? At this point she'd even settle for frolicking on one of those tropical islands she hated._

" _No, what do you want, Shepard?" the Kaidan-thing deflected her question._

_Shepard scowled. She wasn't going to be drawn into an argument. "I want a way to win this fucking war. Unless you've got an answer for that, I'm not interested in this conversation."_

" _Who are you to say that I don't?" he asked, an amused grin flitting across his face._

" _Tell me then," Shepard growled – thoroughly unimpressed. "I shouldn't have to play games with my own mind to get the damn answers I need."_

_With the annoying grin still fixed in place, he shook his head. "You don't like games?"_

" _Not when they involve the lives of millions of people," Shepard replied._

_The grin winked out abruptly. "What if it was just your life?"_

_Shepard's brow creased into a frown. 'What do you mean?"_

_The Kaidan-thing shrugged. "You're living on borrowed time anyway. I should think that when the time comes, the decision will be obvious."_

Shepard's eyes snapped open. She hadn't willed herself to wake up. If anything she had wanted to remain in the dream and mine as much information as she could from her subconscious – however ridiculous it seemed. Nevertheless she was now awake, her eyes gradually adjusting to the dimmed lighting in Liara's quarters. There was a delicious warmth pressed up against her left flank. She savoured it for a few moments before rolling over so she could take in the sight of her lover lying on her back, a serene expression on her face while she slept. The sheets had slipped from most of her body (Shepard suspected that she was guilty of stealing them at some stage during the night) leaving the beauty of her naked body bare to Shepard's roaming gaze. She trailed her eyes down over Liara's face, lingered on her breasts and felt an insistent stirring in her gut. The hungry part of her wanted to wake Liara with her lips moving across her breasts and down over her abdomen. Shepard suppressed the primal urge that would have led to her waking the tired asari. After returning from the fight on Rannoch, they had both fallen into an exhausted slumber a few hours earlier. Shepard had conceded to having a shower to wash the stink of battle from her body, but her hair remained half-singed and uneven. She had not risked a glance in the mirror, Liara's face told her just how ridiculous it was.

Post shower, several lingering kisses were as far as they went with an attempt at sex. Shepard suspected that she had succumbed first, falling asleep with her head cradled against Liara's chest.

A few moments later she removed temptation from her reach by rising from the bed. Shepard made no attempt to put any clothes on as she padded across the quarters to the intel terminal in front of the Shadow Broker feeds. Shepard remembered Liara saying that she had transferred several terabytes worth of information that she had collected, researched and interpreted throughout her time studying the Protheans onto the terminal. Her interest had been feigned at the time as she had absolutely no intention to read any of it. However now she found herself bringing up that same information, hoping that some stroke of fate would lead her to the exact answer she sought.

Half an hour later Shepard was still working her way through some of Liara's earliest findings. Her sole concession to comfort had been dragging a chair across to the console. She was still very much naked, determined to ignore the slight chill creeping across her skin. In digesting the research, Liara the Prothean expert came across as very much the same asari she had rescued on Therum - enthusiastic, focused, and altogether naïve when it came to anything resembling a practical application for her work. As she read, a part of Shepard reminisced about that Liara and her almost predatory response to the beauty of the young asari. It had begun as a conquest, pure and simple. The young asari had been toying with the idea of a physical relationship with the hardened Commander – dreaming about it – but not once had she actually expected Shepard to call her bluff. Shepard remembered how flustered and nervous Liara had been their first time together. Even three years later, she could recall almost every detail. They'd been skirting around various levels of physical intimacy for several days prior – countless small touches, Liara had fallen asleep on her shoulder during a particularly long drive in the Mako and eventually Shepard had initiated a kiss in the wake of their mission to Feros. Several days later Liara had tentatively knocked on the door to her cabin…

" _Shepard, when I explained to you about joining and the fact that I have not found someone…" Liara found that she was unable to hold Shepard's intense gaze. "I-I must also confess that I have not taken up an opportunity to join...physically with another person."_

" _You mean have sex with a human?" Shepard tried to clarify._

_Liara shook her head, colour intensifying in her cheeks. "With anyone, human, asari…I haven't…"_

_Shepard's mouth parted slightly in shock. Shit. It wasn't like this would be her first time sleeping with a virgin or an asari, but she suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility. As Liara's voice trailed off, she hesitated for a few moments. She finally willed her body into action, stepping forward and kissing Liara. The gentle but passionate urgings she injected into the play of her lips and her body left no illusions as to what it was she wanted to happen between them. She needed Liara to understand._

" _Do you want this, Liara?" Shepard asked, whispering into Liara's ear as she folded her into an embrace._

_When she received no response other than an intensified tremble, Shepard slowly tried to extricate herself from the asari's grasp. Although she did not fully understand the extent of her feelings, she knew that she could not bring herself to take advantage. The thought of hurting Liara made her stomach twist into hard, painful knots. Before she could step away, Liara's grip intensified to the point where she was practically clinging to her._

" _I want this," she was finally able to admit. "I want you, Shepard. More than anything."_

_Liara finally met her gaze once again. In those huge, expressive depths the fear was still there but it had almost been consumed by determination and something else that Shepard struggled to recognise._

_It was love._

" _Evan," Shepard mumbled in reply as it was Liara who took the initiative, laying gentle kisses along her jaw line. "Please call me Evan."_

Shepard's cheeks surged with heat at the memory – Liara was a fast learner and the night had reduced them both to exhausted husks of themselves. What she had not expected was that it would so rapidly develop into the most precious aspect of her life. She tried to push the distracting memories away so she could return to her search.

_Images, that's what I want!_ Shepard thought as she moved through to another set of folders on the screen. When she scanned through the first half a dozen images she realised that each was as tedious as the next. With her fastidious attention to detail, Liara had documented everything she had found. Shepard sighed and continued searching.

Before Liara's eyes opened she knew that the other side of the bed was empty. The warmth that was Shepard was gone, leaving only an uncomfortable cold. With a sigh of resignation, Liara thought that Shepard had either returned to her own quarters or back to work. She fumbled downwards and drew the sheet upwards over her body. It was only a moment later that she heard the familiar sound of someone typing. Liara sat up with a start. Illuminated by the glow of terminal, a very naked Shepard was staring intently at the screen in front of her. Gathering the sheet about her body, Liara rose from her bed.

"Are you not cold?"

A quiet voice interrupted Shepard's thoughts. She had not actually thought to ask herself that question despite the fact that she was sitting in front of the terminal with no clothes on. Before she could look up, she felt a softness settling over her shoulders. With a grateful smile, Shepard rose to her feet so she could wrap the robe around her body. When she returned to sitting, she sensed Liara standing behind the chair. Arms wrapped around her gradually warming body and she felt a breath fall over her ear a split second before Liara's chin came to rest on her shoulder.

"You appear suspiciously as though you are trying to usurp my job," Liara commented softly.

"I'd become a lawyer before I became the Shadow Broker," Shepard replied, continuing to flick through images while she spoke. She paused only to rub at her eyes. "You have nothing to worry about."

"My old dig sites," Liara murmured when she studied the images.

Shepard sighed and closed her eyes. Liara's breath felt damn good against her cheek – damn good. She had to resist the urge to spin the chair around and pull the asari down onto her lap.

"Yeah," Shepard breathed. "I thought...just maybe-" Shepard rapped her knuckles on the edge of the terminal as if scolding herself. "Shit, it was a fucking stupid idea anyway."

"You thought you could find the ruins, the ones from your dream?" Liara asked. Shepard nodded. "Explain it to me, I'll help you."

Shepard looked down at the edge of the desk. She was covering something up with her elbow. Liara frowned and tugged her arm aside. Her mouth dropped when she saw that Shepard had drawn a rough sketch on the corner of her furniture.

"You didn't have any paper!" Shepard protested.

It was a crude set of lines, Liara had to study them for several moments before she could make out that it represented a set of Prothean buildings. Three towers standing starkly against the horizon. Above them, three moons. Quite unique, recognisable, except that she did not recognise them from her decades spent digging for Prothean ruins.

"I do not think I have ever been to a location that fits your dreams, Shepard," Liara said, she did not enjoy seeing the crestfallen expression on the Commander's face. "Or perhaps your dream was more symbolic as opposed to a representation of actual ruins?"

Thinking about it made Shepard's head hurt – almost as much as talking to the Reaper on Rannoch. Between that and the dreams, she was surprised that her brain wasn't slowly turning into a useless pulp.

Shepard reflected on the last thing Kaidan had said to her, _"You're living on borrowed time anyway. I should think that when the time comes, the decision will be obvious."_

No, it wasn't Kaidan. It was her dream, her own unconscious mind giving voice to her fears. The fears were hardly hidden. Shepard didn't need a psychotherapy degree to understand that she believed this war would claim her life. It took her a few breaths before she realised there was a lump in her throat. Were her eyes burning? _I have to believe that there is something to fight for,_ Shepard thought bitterly. _My lover...my children_. Another goddamn sigh, possible an attempt to clear the lump in her throat. _Liara will have children...but not with me_.

Suddenly morose, Shepard reached up and took a hold of one of the arms that was draped around her body. "Liara, when I...died, why you didn't take another lover?"

There was no immediate response other than Liara's body stiffening slightly – in shock probably. Worried that she had scared Liara unintentionally, Shepard slowly spun in the chair. Liara disentangled her limbs as she did to allow Shepard to complete the movement.

The asari straightened before the Commander was fully facing her. Sitting on the chair wearing only the light robe, Shepard appeared small, although still incredibly strong at the same time. Liara tried to keep from breaking into a chuckle at the sight of her hair. Her bondmate had asked a serious question, and she deserved a serious answer. "You were gone for two years. In the scheme of an asari lifespan..." Liara paused turned away from Shepard, this was more difficult than she had expected. "I had not finished mourning for you, yet let alone reached the point where I even wanted to consider a relationship." It was only when she finished speaking that Liara realised she had been trying to laugh to relieve the dread in the pit of her stomach that came with the memory. She would have mourned Shepard for two hundred years.

"Were you attracted to anyone?" Shepard asked quietly. "Another asari? Man, woman...Krogan?"

Liara frowned, she couldn't interpret the expression on Shepard's face and that unnerved her. The emotions flowing from her body were oddly suppressed. "What is the purpose of this line of questioning?"

Shepard shrugged. "I'm curious."

"But it is pointless!" Liara protested.

"You've never had sex with anyone other than me," Shepard suddenly blurted out. There, she had said it. Why did she feel so goddamn ridiculous? "How do you know..."

Liara arched one of the eyebrow shaped markings above her eyes. "And you've never had sex with a male - of any species. How do you know you won't enjoy it until you try it?"

It was Shepard's turn to blush. "Liara! What kind of question is that? I'm not attracted to...you know I'm gay."

"And I am not a woman, Commander Shepard," Liara replied calmly.

"But you've got tits...and curvy bits in all the right places and...can we just end this conversation...now?" Shepard asked plaintively.

"My point exactly," Liara replied. She too was relieved that this particular line of questioning was over. She leaned forward, the sheet slipping from her shoulders as she did, and cupped Shepard's cheeks in warm hands. "I know, Evan. I just _know._ "

 


	23. Servant of Athame - Part I

**Chapter Twenty-Three  
Servant of Athame - Part I**

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

"I should never have let you near my head with anything sharp." Shepard sullenly dragged both her hands through her cropped dark locks. Although her close encounter with the Reaper's beam on Rannoch had made a hair cut a necessity, she was still not impressed. "You're a butcher, T'Soni."

"Your hair was not much longer when I met you on Therum," an unsympathetic Liara replied from the main room of Shepard's quarters.

Shepard sighed. As usual, her bondmate was right. Hair grew back. Limbs on the other hand did not.

She turned her head so she could study the burn which covered much of her cheek. The skin looked stretched - raw and pink. Dr Chakwas had not been able to guarantee the absence of scarring, but Shepard didn't care. It was just another one to add to the patchwork of scars that covered her body. She'd worn them since being ripped out of her sleep on Lazarus Station. Although the scars had receded of late, Shepard somehow knew that she would carry them until she died.

When Shepard left the bathroom, she found Liara cleaning away the last evidence of hair on the floor.

"What the hell is that?". Despite the _Normandy_ being her home, she had never seen the device before.

"It is a vacuum cleaner," Liara replied. She opened a storage cupboard Shepard had never noticed. "It lives in here if you ever want to use it."

Shepard was unable to restrain a disgusted snort. She had absolutely no intention of cleaning anything, regardless of the availability of a vacuum cleaner.

Her mild annoyance quickly dissipated. When she stopped to think for a moment whilst pulling on her boots, she realised how terribly domesticated the entire scene was – housework and all. She paused with her boots still unlaced.

"Hey you," Shepard said softly. She gave the seat next to her a gentle thump. "Come here."

Liara folded her arms across her chest and gave Shepard a steady glare. "Half an hour ago you were protesting about the amount of work you had to do."

"You'd do the same if someone with absolutely no experience of hair was threatening to cut yours!" Shepard replied. "Just get over here will you? Or are you going to make me beg?"

"As enticing as that prospect is…" Liara's voice trailed off as she crossed the room.

Just the sight of the asari's hips swaying across that short distance was enough to make Shepard wish they had more time. To make matters worse, Liara chose to sit in her lap. There were no complaints. Shepard wrapped an arm around her waist as Liara's hands encircled her neck.

"I don't actually have a purpose for inviting you over here," Shepard admitted, gazing up at Liara with a sheepish expression on her face. She _did_ have a lot of work to do, but it was never going to go away – at least not until the Reapers did. "I had to get you in my arms, even for a moment."

Liara kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Evan."

"I haven't done anything," Shepard frowned.

Another kiss, this time on her lips – deep and fierce. Shepard let out an involuntary gasp. She closed her eyes for just a moment, giving herself over to the pressure of Liara's lips on her own. Before Liara could draw away she raised a hand to the back of her neck and applied a gentle pressure. Firm fingers trailed up the base of Liara's crests, stroking and massaging the sensitive skin. She felt Liara shiver with pleasure in her arms. The insistent buzzing from the direction of the door interrupted any further plans Shepard had been harbouring. She broke off reluctantly, feeling her lips swollen and tingling as she nuzzled against Liara's neck.

"You have done everything," Liara said quietly, in response to Shepard's last statement. "Over the past few weeks, since my father, the destruction of the Citadel, working around the clock to repair the _Normandy_ , and taking down a Reaper – Goddess, that one still has yet to sink in! – throughout all of that you have found time to make sure I eat and sleep. I feel like I am falling one moment and a split second later you are there to catch me."

"I promised myself that I would be your strength.!

Another buzz, this one followed by several more as whoever was waiting grew increasingly impatient.

Liara smiled. "As I am yours." Another kiss, another buzz.

"Shit, duty calls," Shepard growled as Liara's pleasant weight was suddenly gone from her lap. "Come in!"

Ashley Williams did not look even the slightest bit apologetic as she entered Shepard's quarters.

Shepard returned to lacing her boots. "What's up, LC? You trying to do Traynor out of a job?"

The soldier ignored Shepard's quip, her expression stern. "I thought I'd come myself. Skipper...Liara. Thessia has been hit by the Reapers...hard-"

Liara let out a sharp cry, stifled when she pressed a clenched fist to her mouth. Shepard stopped lacing her boots.

"-and we've got the asari Councillor on vidcom with an urgent request for your assistance."

* * *

 

**Thessia, Parnitha System**

At this point in the war, watching a planet burn was a sickeningly familiar sight.

Liara remembered staring at Palaven from the shuttle window – her ache aching for Garrus and his family. Now it was her own home world that burned.

The shuttle dropped downwards rapidly, buffeted by turbulence and incoming fire. She tried in vain to keep the fear from showing on her face.

_I promised myself that I would be your strength._ Shepard's promise echoed in her head. She wrenched her eyes away from the window. The Commander was standing behind Cortez, clutching onto the back of the shuttle pilot's seat as they searched for somewhere suitable to set the shuttle down. The strain of war was evident in her attire. Shepard wore a cobbled together set of armour made up of pieces from her old N7 suit and those that had not been too badly damaged from the Kassa Fabrications set which had been burned on Rannoch.

_I do not know how you have enough strength for the both of us_ , Liara thought sadly.

Just hours earlier, she'd stood beside Shepard as a visibly trembling Councillor Tevos had explained how the Reapers had struck with barely an hour's warning. Liara had known the asari Matriarch since childhood and she had never seen her lose composure to such an extent. It was bleak. The asari military, used to waging covert operations as opposed to a full scale war, were already struggling.

Liara suppressed a slight surge of anger as she remembered Tevos' revelation that there was a Prothean artefact in a Thessian temple - hidden from all but the very top echelons of asari society. Naturally Liara had wondered if her mother knew about it and kept the secret despite her daughter's line of work. It seemed unlikely. Had Benezia known, no doubt she would have been forced to pass the information to Saren and in turn to Sovereign. The brief thought about her mother's fate forced her again to the realisation that the Reaper's had taken almost everything from her. A different kind of anger seethed and boiled under her skin but she kept it restrained. Liara held onto it, knowing that it would give her strength in the coming fight.

"Bastards."

Liara heard a strong voice beside her. She felt Ashley William's reassuring presence.

When she did not reply, Ash continued, "You think this artefact will actually be able to tell us about the Catalyst?"

_She's trying to keep me talking, engaged_ , Liara thought. A part of her thought that some measure of optimism was called for, but she was far too angry for that. "I have no idea."

"Your options are rapidly dwindling," another voice answered. "It may be this cycle's last hope."

Liara closed her eyes. She had spoken very little to the Prothean since she had helped bring him out of stasis on Eden Prime. The initial prospect of having a real, live Prothean to study had very quickly dissipated when it became apparent that he was an 'arrogant arse with a superiority complex'. Shepard had labelled Javik such almost in jest, but Liara found it to be entirely appropriate.

"We can only hope it provides some answers," Liara replied diplomatically.

She met Javik's resulting cold stare with a determined one of her own. She was asari and proud of her people's culture. Whatever this Prothean said, it could do nothing to dispel their accomplishments.

"Right people. Listen up." Shepard interrupted the tension in the shuttle. Even in mismatched armour with the dreadful haircut she had been subjected to, she still looked every inch the marine. "We're scheduled to rendezvous with a team of asari scientists at the temple. Unfortunately we're going to have to set down three to four klicks out. And you can bet there will be a hell of a lot of Reapers in our way but I'm counting on getting support from the asari military and I'm counting on each of you. Failure is not an option on this one. If that artefact can help us with information about the catalyst, then by damn we're going to retrieve it."

"With you every step of the way, Skipper," Ash said as she retrieved her Black Widow. The massive sniper rifle extended into ready position.

"We have your back," Liara added with a sharp nod.

Javik merely grunted an agreement of sorts and resumed checking the weapons that he had chosen – a Carnifex and Eviscerator shotgun. He had already deemed both to be of poor design and efficiency but the Prothean Particle rifle that he was attempting to reconstruct was not ready for combat.

"Touchdown in minus thirty seconds, Commander," Cortez informed them.

The shuttle door opened and the squad assembled near the door in preparation. Liara was grateful for the cascade of noise that hit her. It concealed the shocked cry from her lips at the first sight of Thessia's surface. The scene from the shuttle was one of wanton destruction against a beautiful race. The graceful elegance of Thessian architecture – peaceful plazas and sweeping, aesthetically designed structures – had been torn apart by the invading Reapers. Liara clutched desperately at the rail above her head, gloved hands squeezing fiercely as it was the only support that kept her numb legs from collapsing beneath her. Liara forced herself to close her mouth. In doing so she gritted her teeth – anger was a far more effective tool than fear in this situation.

At her side she felt Shepard's body shift. The movement was slight, but it meant that their armour touched at the arm and hip. In terms of physical contact it was negligible, but as a gesture of support it meant everything.

The rubble came rushing up to meet them and Liara found herself to be the first to leap from the shuttle, her squadmates hitting the ground only a split second later. The noise of battle that surrounded them was fierce and consuming, but even that could not block out the anguished shouts of the asari all around them. Her people were unsuited for this form of all out warfare. The asari military operated in the shadows – covert, precise strikes aimed at crippling the enemy in as few moves as possible. The full scale Reaper invasion rendered such tactics ineffective. Now it was survival at any cost.

Liara made the mistake of turning to look at a series of shrouded figures lying on the ground near the landing zone. There were dozens - to the point where there were not enough shrouds to cover them all. Her gaze fell upon that of a maiden even younger than herself, eyes remaining open in death but seeing nothing.

The surviving commandos were stationed at a barricade that held one end of a bridge. As their small squad approached, Liara saw one jump down from the barricade and run towards them.

Although the asari Lieutenant's face was blackened with the grime of battle, Liara recognised her immediately. "Kurin? Tasha Kurin?"

The weary commando's eyes widened. "T'Soni?"

"You know each other?" Shepard asked in surprise.

"Yes. We were at school together." That much was true. Kurin however was two years older and had been immensely popular. Liara was surprised that the other asari even remembered her name. However with the circumstances in which they now found themselves, even this tenuous link was enough to feel as though they had reunited with family. In a move that surprised both of them, they embraced fiercely for a few moments.

"Goddess, T'Soni, you look like a commando," Kurin commented appreciatively as she held Liara at arm's length.

"War changes us all," Liara replied. They drew apart and their respective stances became business-like as Shepard stepped forward. "Lieutenant Tasha Kurin, Commander Shepard. I believe High Command told you to expect us?"

Kurin turned her gaze to Shepard, clearly unfazed at meeting a galactic hero. "Yeah, they didn't tell me why – just to hold out until you arrived. To tell the truth, I'm on the verge of pulling my unit back. I can't defend this position with the few troops I have left."

"I was promised support," Shepard replied bluntly. "There's no way in hell we're going to make it through the Reaper lines to the temple without some sort of cover."

"The Temple of Athame? Commander, with all due respect, my troops are being slaughtered here. There are barely enough of us to cover our retreat let alone an assault into Reaper lines!" Kurin protested.

"Our mission could influence the outcome of the war!" Liara urged. "There is an artefact in the temple, one of vital importance. It could aid us in the completion of the Catalyst and victory in this war."

"You know what you're asking me, T'Soni?" Kurin pointed towards the barricade where exhausted commandos were doing their best to shore up a gap. "Who are you and this human to order my commandos to their deaths? You may look the part, but you don't understand-"

"By the Goddess!" Liara advanced on the tired Lieutenant. "I may not come from your military background, but I have bled enough to earn your respect – on Menae, on Tuchanka, on Rannoch! I killed my own mother because she was lost to the Reapers, my father died in my arms on the Citadel. Do not lecture me about sacrifice."

It was only when Liara finished that she realised her biotics had flared. She extinguished them and turned her back on the shocked commando to calm herself down. Liara heard another voice speaking behind her, but it was not Shepard.

"I can sense your exhaustion, asari. You are caked in fear...and yet you continue to fight." It was Javik, his voice far softer than Liara had ever heard him speak. "It is individuals like you that will help this cycle succeed where mine failed. There is hope."

Liara turned to see Kurin studying Javik with an intense expression of confusion and awe on her face. Several moments passed before the Lieutenant's shoulders squared a little and she raised her chin defiantly. She shared a brief glance with Liara and for a moment the younger asari was reminded exactly why she used to blush uncontrollably during the rare times Kurin spoke to her at school. When she turned to face Shepard, Kurin responded with a determined nod.

"You'll have the support you need, Commander. Everything we can give you."

Shepard nodded. "You have no idea how much that means. Thank you, Lieutenant."

Kurin nodded. "If your mission means a kick in the guts to these Goddess-damned Reapers then I am in." She turned and motioned towards the barricade and the bridge beyond. "I wish I could give you some good news, Commander, but the truth is we've been fighting off waves of Brutes, Cannibals and Marauders. Even had one of those demon Banshees. It tore through six of my unit before we could bring it down. That's the path you're going to be taking to reach the Temple of Athame. I'd suggest rendezvousing with Outpost Tykis – they're the only troops left anywhere near the temple. I'll radio ahead and let them know you're coming."

"Much appreciated. We'll get it done, Lieutenant," Shepard reassured her. The Commander turned to the _Normandy's_ shuttle and signalled Cortez to take off. Her team waited for their orders. "We're travelling fast and light. This is no time for caution, so stay frosty and watch each other's backs."

"Good luck, Commander," Kurin said as she escorted the small team towards the barricade. "The Goddess protect you." She caught Liara's arm as she walked past. "I was wrong about you, Liara T'Soni. I'd be proud to fight at your side."

Liara replied with a short nod. "May the Goddess protect you also."

They encountered the first resistance when they were less than halfway across the bridge. Cannibals and Marauders pinned them down whilst Brutes and husks advanced to decimate them in close quarters combat.

Fortunately the enemy were still within range of the commandos. Biotic explosions rippled through the creatures advancing towards Shepard's squad. Combined with their own gunfire and biotic attacks from Liara and Javik, the opposing forces were wiped out with minimal fuss. Their only casualty was Javik's pride. He'd come off second best in hand-to-hand combat with a brute. Liara brought the beast down before it could swipe the Prothean's head from his shoulders.

As they dropped down at the other end of the bridge, Liara cast a glance over her shoulder. She could barely make out the tiny shapes of the asari in the distance, but she knew that most of them would not see through the hour. Even if they did manage to defeat the Reapers, how many asari would be left? Forcing herself to avoid the destruction around her, Liara concentrated on the route ahead.

Their squad advanced in a loose formation. Shepard had refused Ashley's offer to take point, and opted to scout ahead herself. Liara and Javik followed several metres behind. Liara was hesitant to admit it to herself, but they combined together well. Detonating each other's biotics made for an effective tactic – completely bypassing the need for cooldown between power use. Ashley brought up the rear. Every so often she would scan their surroundings through the scope of her Black Widow.

Liara had stubbornly persisted with the grisly and sickening task of counting each dead asari she came across in the city streets as they moved. It was something she did not out of duty, but because she couldn't stomach the thought of ignoring them as though they did not exist. At first there were only a handful of bodies – those pinned beneath fallen masonry, unrecoverable by their sisters busy fleeing for their lives. As they moved deeper into Reaper lines, there were more. Her people were scattered and tossed about like dolls – maidens and matrons alike. She studied their faces and prayed that someone would be left alive to give them some sort of burial. _And who will bury the last of us?_

"Your people are losing, asari," Javik said without a trace of remorse in his voice.

Liara had been diplomatic in the face of Javik's earlier comments but she felt a hot flush of anger surge through her body. "I have a name!" she growled, momentarily forgetting her purpose as she whirled to face the arrogant Prothean. "It is Liara T'Soni! And my people are not cowards. We are fighting the Reapers at every step."

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Shepard looking back over her shoulder at the sudden outburst, her mouth open to say something when a furious flurry of weapons fire sent her flying into cover. Something slammed into the shields protecting Liara's shoulder moments before she too hit the ground. She had been too slow to react, instead it had been Javik throwing his weight against her that brought her crashing downwards.

"Anger is good, Liara T'Soni," Javik said as he sheltered her from the fire overheard. "It will help keep you alive."

Any thought of replying became impossible as a rapid succession of heavy projectiles slammed into their position. Each was accompanied by a menacing drone.

"Ravagers!" Ashley's shout went up even as she scrambled for a position where she could return fire from cover.

Liara had to strain to see through the dust and debris surrounding them. Shepard was already moving, making a series of quick hand signals to the rest of her squad - flanking positions, two right, two left. As soon as Javik helped her to her feet, Liara was moving, trying to keep her head as low as possible as they made for the cover provided by a ruined skycab. The Cannibals that had fired initially were tracking their movements, continuing to fire as they advanced.

Without having to vocalise anything, Javik rolled from cover and cast Dark Channel on the nearest. A split second later, Liara detonated it with a throw that sent the group of Cannibals flying apart. Heavy Carnifex slugs polished off the writhing creatures. Somewhere over to their left, she heard the rapid patter of Shepard's Harrier and the steady retort of Ashley's sniper rifle. The drone of the Ravager's cannons ceased when the creature exploded in a messy pulp.

The intense fight was over in just a few minutes. Shepard gave the squad the signal to move out. Liara picked herself up from where she had sagged against the skycar whilst testing her shoulder. Her shields had held, but it would be sore tomorrow. As she moved she caught sight of something in the rubble at her feet that made her pause. The body of yet another dead asari, however clutched in her arms was a swaddled bundle. Mercifully, all she could see protruding from the wrappings were the tiny nubs of an undeveloped crest. _Goddess..._

With an ache in her throat, Liara drove herself to her feet just in time to be forced back to her knees by an awful screech overhead. The insectoid legs of a Reaper swooped downwards. It was not the sight of the colossal creature alone that brought an abrupt halt to her movements. After all, the war had given her an unwelcome familiarity with the ancient race. The near insanity of the dash to the Maw Hammers on Tuchanka, an event that already seemed a lifetime ago, had taken her close enough to smell the Reaper's stench of death. Then Rannoch and her bondmate's suicidal dance with the wounded Reaper before the Quarian Fleet destroyed it. However it was the sight of a Reaper on Thessia, its cruel claws piercing the soil of her homeworld, that drove a spear through her body. A savage, animalistic shriek behind her finally broke her trance. Her reactions were a fraction too slow. Liara turned at the precise moment that a husk lashed out with a clumsy swipe of its clawed hand. The blow caught her square across the chest and drove her backwards. Before she could react with either biotics or her Carnifex, the gaping mouth and vacant stare of the husk simply disappeared. As Liara blinked, its headless body slumped to the ground. She turned, expecting to see Ashley lowering her rifle. However, the human was not even looking at her. Instead Ash was staring up into the terraced apartments above them, trying to discern the location of the actual shooter. Shepard was scrambling down the slope towards her but Liara quickly waved her arm to indicate that she was unscathed.

"Snipers?" she asked Shepard as the squad moved forward in the direction of the shot.

"Yeah, I noticed that someone was giving us a hand while we were dealing with those Ravs," Shepard replied as she too cast a glance skywards towards the Reaper.

Liara knew it went against common sense to move in such close proximity to her squadmate in a combat zone, but she needed the contact – even for a brief moment. She both saw and felt Shepard's anger at the sight of the Reaper. "Do not even think about taking that one on. The Quarian Fleet is not here to back you up."

"I've got you haven't I?" Shepard replied, even managing a small smile before she trudged on ahead.

The source of the covering fire was a lone asari sniper bunkered down in the ruins of a terraced apartment. The commando was a badly shaken maiden. Her face was a very pale shade of blue that probably wasn't her natural colour.

"Commander Shepard, Alliance," Shepard explained as she crouched beside the asari. "We're en route to Outpost Tykis,"

"You've found it," was the quick response. The maiden awkwardly jerked her head towards a swath of bloodstains that smeared the once handsome flagstones. "A Banshee got Krysa and Neralyn this morning – or it might have been the day before? Taxyn died from her wounds a little later. The rest of the squad were wiped out when one of those flying demons strafed our lines a few hours ago before our air support managed to drive it off. I-I'm the only one left."

"You've still got air support?" Ashley asked hopefully.

The commando nodded. "Talon squadron have a few serviceable gunships but they haven't been in the air for a few hours. A-are we all that's left?"

"What's your name, soldier?" Shepard asked in a firm tone.

"Corporal Xanthea Cerina," the asari replied after a concerted effort to pull herself together.

Shepard slapped a hand on her slender shoulder. "Corporal Cerina, I need you to get Talon on the horn. Whatever ships they've got left, get them in the air and clear us a goddamn path to the Temple of Athame. Understood?"

Before the Corporal could respond, Ashley sent up an urgent shout. "Harvester incoming!"

The shout had barely registered when the tiles almost directly in front of Liara were lifted and tossed like leaves by successive blasts of heavy cannon fire. In its wake, a wave of heat slammed into her body and picked her up. Liara was tossed forward as though she weighed nothing at all.

The next minutes were a frenzy of competing sensations – a gritty, salty tang in her mouth, a blur of images moving in front of her eyes and a piercing shrieking in her ears that drowned out all other sounds. She'd landed face down in the rubble. When she placed her palms down to lever herself upwards, she felt the pain of raw wounds. She examined her torn gloves and the glistening scrapes beneath with the detachment that only shock could bring. Someone was shouting frantically. Her head seemed to bobble on her neck as she turned towards the source of the sound. It was virtually impossible to hear or see anything through the cannon blasts slammed in a wide arc around her body. It was only when Liara focused that she realised exactly why her squadmates were yelling at her. She was lying in the open with the Harvester's cannon fire zeroing in on her. On the other side of the terrace, Liara was vaguely aware of Shepard trying to throw herself in its path before being dragged backwards by Ashley. Realisation finally dawned and Liara scrambled towards the nearest cover she could find, her raw skin protesting with every movement. She anticipated each whining drone being her last before being overtaken by the darkness that was oblivion.

_{This is Talon two,}_ announced a grim voice over the open comm. _{I have the demon in my sights now. Talon five, follow my lead.}_

It took some effort to lift her gaze skyward. Through eyes streaming with gritty tears, Liara saw the Harvester silhouetted against the burning sky. First one gunship, and then the second made strafing runs. The colossal beast recoiled in pain as the asari pilots sent several salvos of rockets towards its vulnerable underbelly. With its attention drawn to face the new threat, the Harvester ceased firing on the vulnerable ground troops. It would be a long time before her ears stopped ringing however.

"Thanks, Talon," Corporal Cerina replied as she picked herself out of the rubble, clutching her sniper rifle. "Can you clear Commander Shepard a path to the temple?"

_{As soon as we get this bastard off our tails.}_

Cerina made her way to the edge of the terrace where she could observe the two gunships duelling with the Harvester. Designed for air-to-ground fire support, the gunships appeared cumbersome as they manoeuvred around the winged beast, peppering its carapace with cannon fire to conserve rockets.

"We've got a hell of a lot of activity between our position and the temple," Cerina reported. Down below Marauders staked out entrenched positions in the rubble. A shriek suddenly drowned out every other sound and her blood ran cold. "Goddess, not another one of those things," she whispered as she pressed her back against the stone wall behind her. From her position she could see the human, Shepard, darting across the courtyard toward her asari companion. From the desperation on her face and the tenderness in her movements as she picked her up, Cerina could tell that they were more than fellow soldiers. Gritting her teeth, Cerina turned back towards the gunships in the distance.

"Talon two...Elora, we've got to clear that path. Everything depends on getting Shepard's squad through to that temple."

_{I can't just turn my tail on this damn Harvester, Cerina!}_ Talon two replied as she yanked her gunship into a desperate sideslip to avoid the downsweep of one of the Harvester's massive wings. _{Goddess-damn it all, you're gonna owe me a fucking drink.}_

"As many as you want," the corporal promised, waving Talon two and five forward with a vigorous movement of her arm. She sensed movement beside her and looked across to see Commander Shepard hunkering down at her side. "Is your squadmate going to pull through?"

"I am fucking fantastic," the other asari answered for herself, falling in beside Shepard. There was a smattering of grazes covering one side of her face, already encrusted with purple blood. "What the hell are we waiting for?"

Cerina grunted appreciatively, Shepard's companion was tougher than she first gave her credit for. "The Talons are clearing your squad a path. They're the best, they'll get the job done."

"Right, we're pushing forward asap. You coming, Corporal?" Shepard asked her.

"If it's all the same, Commander, I think can do the most good from up here. I'll cover you," Cerina replied. She was a sniper, operating at a distance what just what she did.

Shepard looked up just in time to see the bellies of the two gunships scraping by overhead. Talon two and five unleashed their remaining complement of rockets. The thunderous salvo ripped apart the Reaper positions down below.

"Move, move, move!" Shepard's shout could barely be heard over the carnage down below. However, as soon as she leapt forward over the balcony, her squad followed her in perfect succession.

With their rockets exhausted, the two gunships continued to strafe with cannon fire.

"Talon five, on your six!" Cerina yelled over the comm., trying to keep an eye on the sky overheard while reloading her rifle.

The Harvester, its ruined flesh hanging in strips from its belly, rose up in one last savage attack. Almost clumsily it slammed into Talon five while the asari pilot struggled to bring her ship around at low altitude. There was not enough room to manoeuvre between buildings and the Harvester caught the gunship a glancing blow, instantly severing its tail. It went into an uncontrolled spin and slammed into the ground only moments later, exploding on impact. Like an avenging angel, Talon two rose up. A concentrated blast of cannon fire punched gaping holes across the Harvester's body. With the screams of a dying beast, its wings ceased beating. Like a stone, it dropped from the sky.

_{I'm all out, Tykis,}_ Talon two said as she completed a circle overhead. _{Heading back to rearm and refuel – if we've still got a damn base. Stay safe down there, Xan. I'm holding you to those drinks...maybe I can get you drunk enough to finally kiss me.)_

Despite the circumstances, Cerina found herself grinning as she lined up her next shot – a Marauder who had escaped the initial fury unscathed. She drilled a round straight through its right eye. "You don't need to get me drunk for that." _Goddess, I didn't even realised she felt that way about me. It's probably just the war, but I'll take it any way I can get it._

As she reloaded, Cerina risked another glance skyward. Trailing a plume of black smoke, Talon two disappeared in the haze of smoke hanging over the city.

In the rubble down below, Shepard and her squad pushed forward. They encountered only sporadic resistance owing to the efforts of Talon squadron. A few scattered foot soldiers had escaped but they were swiftly dealt with in either a hail of gunfire or biotic explosions. The temple was within view – broad sweeping steps leading up to its columned facade. Just as Shepard was daring to hope that they would be able to cover the remainder of the ground quickly, she heard an all too familiar scream. The piercing syllables were accompanied by the telltale sound of a biotic jump. They'd heard banshees in the distance earlier, but none had ventured into their vicinity.

"Fuck, just what we need," Shepard hissed to herself as she watched the grotesque visage of the Reaper created monster warp into the courtyard. Slamming a fresh clip into her Harrier, she directed her squad. "I want that thing's barrier down asap!"

She split her squad with precise hand signals. A banshee had the capacity to incapacitate several team members at once with one of their biotic screams. The barrel of Shepard's Harrier was already red hot when she opened fire. Usually she fired in short, controlled bursts to stretch the rifle's limited clip capacity. Faced with the oncoming Banshee, she emptied the entire clip in one savage burst. Shepard relied on her skill to combat the Harrier's recoil as opposed to a stability dampener. With an assault rifle, she was a better shot than either Garrus or Ashley and almost every round struck the Banshee. Combined with biotic combos from Liara and Javik, the Banshee's barrier fell rapidly. Still, Shepard cursed every moment that they were kept from reaching the temple. She plucked an incendiary grenade from her webbing, hoping to weaken its armour. The dull explosion sounded around the courtyard. Although the thermal paste clung to the Banshee as it was supposed to, the main effect of the grenade was to signal out Shepard as the principal target. A high powered round suddenly cracked into the Banshee's skull. Shepard spun, seeing the tiny figure of Corporal Cerina urging them forward. A knot gripped her stomach, she knew full well that the commando could not hope to bring down the Banshee on her own, but the longer it took them to reach the temple the more Reapers would hone in on their position. As the Banshee warped towards the terrace above, Shepard signalled to her squad to push forward.

Framed clearly in her sights, Cerina could practically count the number of teeth in the Banshee's gaping maw. Her hands shook as she tried to line up her shot while the creature jumped forward. After her second shot just grazed its arm, Cerina knew that she was running out of distance between herself and the target. Soon her rifle would be useless. With a determined movement, she threw the gun aside and turned to the pathetic supply stockpile. A handful of lift grenades fell through her fumbling fingers before she found a low yield bomb. Cerina clutched the explosive to her chest, the screams grew louder until they drowned out her frantic, terrified breaths.

With another jump, the Banshee warped onto the terrace only scant metres away. It seemed to be laughing at her.

"Guess I'm not going to get that kiss after all," she whispered to herself.

 


	24. Servant of Athame - Part II

**Thessia, Parnitha system**

It seemed an eternity before Liara's exhausted legs finally brought her to the top of the steps leading to the Temple of Athame. She felt like collapsing to her knees from sheer exhaustion and despair. Instead she turned and surveyed the path they had just carved through the city streets below - a trail of death and suffering in their wake.

Upon departing the _Normandy_ several hours earlier, Liara had made a silent vow to remain aloof from her own personal emotions regarding what was happening on Thessia. It had always been a futile gesture - her home was in flames, and her sisters dying by the millions, how could she hope to divorce herself from those emotions?

Ashley had reached the top first, almost running headfirst into some sort of barrier erected over the temple's entrance. While the marine was studying the control panel Liara pushed past her, determined not to waste a second. The encryption was military grade, but easy enough to overcome. Less than a minute at the terminal and she had bypassed the protocols. The barrier flickered and dropped, allowing them access to the interior of the Temple of Athame.

Liara found it difficult not to be overcome by memories as she stepped over the threshold. The last time she had visited this particular temple, was in the company of her mother. It was almost seven decades earlier, but it felt like yesterday. Her scholarly mind had eagerly soaked up Benezia's history lesson. When she closed her eyes, she could hear her mother's voice. Not as it was on Noveria – tortured and strained – but as it had been in her childhood – stern, proud and yet surprisingly warm. A touch at her shoulder broke her out of her useless reverie.

"Are you alright?" Shepard asked quietly.

Liara nodded abruptly. Goddess, her foolishness was costing them more time. "I am fine, Shepard," she said curtly as she started walking further inside. "We need to find the artefact before-"

Her sentence died on her lips. Sprawled out in front of her were the bodies of four asari – their science uniforms stained with dark blood from horrific slash wounds to their torsos and backs. It was as though they had been chased down and carved apart mercilessly.

"Shit, now we know why we couldn't get in touch with the science team," Ashley said softly. Although it was a futile gesture, she bent to check each body for signs of life. "These wounds were not caused by the Reapers. Someone else has been here."

_That could have been me_ , Liara thought, her stomach twisting into a hard knot. _Had I not met Shepard._ She swayed on her feet and, for a few agonising moments, thought that she would lose control and empty the pitiful contents of her stomach over the ground in front of her companions.

"Spread out, look for the artefact." She heard Shepard giving orders. Her bondmate's voice restored a measure of her focus. "But expect an attack. Whoever or whatever has been in here, we're not going to let it get the jump on us."

"Ah, Skipper, look around," Ashley pointed out. "It's like some sort of museum in here. There have to be a least a dozen artefacts. How the hell are we supposed to tell which is the right one?"

Shepard frowned as she stood in front of a fragmented scroll containing writing she could not understand. "You make a very good point. Liara, can you tell us what we should be looking for?"

_Focus, T'Soni_. "I-I am unsure. These writings you see are remnants of our codex. Most explain how Athame guided us in learning different skills - mathematics, crop production. I do not believe that they would be the artefact we seek."

Beside her Javik let out a derisive grunt. "You really think your people learnt those skills from the servants of a goddess?"

"It is obviously figurative-" Liara bristled slightly.

Ashley was watching their perimeter, but he paused beside an ancient bust – worn with time. "Hey Javik, kind of looks like you don't you think?"

"That's a sculpture of Lucen, one of Athame's servants who walked among my ancestors bestowing knowledge," Liara was quick to reply.

Shepard frowned. She was no scholar, but even she could see that the bust was sculpted in a fairly close likeness of a Prothean. She looked to Javik but the Prothean had his back to her, studying an artefact that resembled some sort of shield.

"And this, asari, what nonsense do your people attribute to this relic?" he asked with a contemptuous wave of his hand.

"Athame's shield. Legend tells of her deflecting a blow from the heavens that was aimed at Thessia," Liara replied. "They are merely legends-"

"It was a meteorite storm deflected by my people," Javik interrupted, he turned and advanced towards Liara. "I thought you were a scientist among your people?"

"I was...I-I mean, I am!" Liara protested, her own voice becoming slightly indignant at Javik's insinuations.

"And in all your years of study you did not interpret the clues that were left behind? This Goddess that you call Athame was us!"

Shepard had been listening to the increasing desperation in her lover's voice. It was clear to see that Liara was exhausted. It was plain enough in the defeated slump to her shoulders and the way she continuously rubbed at her temples as Javik spoke. The discussion between the two of them appeared to be unproductive, especially to a soldier who did not give a rat's arse about ancient codices. However, while Liara was struggling to grasp the concept that Athame was in fact an interpretation of the Protheans, Shepard found herself turning towards the massive statue at the far end of the temple. She supposed it to be a representation of the Goddess Athame herself. Liara and Javik's voices gradually faded into a combined static behind her as she moved towards it. It was only when she heard Ashley calling out that she realised she had walked half way through the temple.

"Skipper?"

"What?" Shepard spoke over her shoulder, she did not turn around.

Behind her Liara and Javik ceased their heated conversation. Somewhere at the back of her mind Shepard heard footsteps running after her. Everything, all her senses, suddenly seemed to be attuned to a different plane of reality. Her physical body remained in the temple and yet her mind was being drawn somewhere else. It called to her – hints of desperation in a voice without words or form. Shepard had felt the sensation before – for the first time on Eden Prime and again on Virmire.

"The statue," Shepard heard the whisper leave her lips, but she did not remember actually willing herself to speak.

"Shepard?" Following at Shepard's shoulder, Liara did not realise the extent to which the Commander was no longer all there. She extended her hand towards her but she was continually moving forward, as though drawn by an invisible force. "What is it?"

"It's a facade," whispered Shepard to no one in particular.

Liara drew up alongside Shepard. Finally seeing the blank look on her lover's face, she planted her body in front of her and seized her by the shoulders. Following a vigorous shake, Shepard's gaze cleared.

"It's not your Goddess, it's a bloody Prothean beacon," Shepard gasped in realisation.

Liara's jaw dropped but she said nothing – her sole reaction was to shake her head slightly as if trying to understand what Shepard had just said.

"I feel it also," Javik added cautiously. "Although it is…subdued. I do not see how a human could possibly sense it."

Liara finally spoke. "Are you sure?"

Shepard looked back and forth between Liara and Javik, both staring at her as though she had merely imagined what she had just felt. She could understand it coming from Javik, but from Liara?

"I had the bloody Protheans invading my mind not once but twice, I think I'm qualified to recognise a Prothean beacon when I encounter it!" Shepard said, stabbing a finger towards the towering statue of Athame. Liara was still shaking her head, ashen faced. "Why is this so hard for you to accept?"

Liara looked stricken. "Shepard…Goddess, I-I am not trying to dispute…do you not understand what this means?"

Shepard contained her anger, it simmered beneath the surface as she struggled to understand the reason for Liara's reluctance. It was difficult to think clearly with the beacon striving to draw her in like a moth to a flame. Using Liara as an anchor, she focused on her – realising with an aching stab the complete devastation in her eyes. It took a concentrated effort not to turn back towards the beacon, instead she crossed the short distance between herself and Liara. However when she reached out a hand to rest on her shoulder, Liara suddenly batted it away with a fierce swipe of her hand.

"Liara-"

The asari shook her head. When she spoke it was through gritted teeth. "My people have concealed a working Prothean beacon for millennia. When you warned the galaxy about the Reapers three years ago, they did not offer a scrap of assistance! When the Reapers invaded, they continued to hide their precious secret until their own world was threatened. Do you understand now, Commander?" Liara turned her back on Shepard in an effort to compose herself. When she turned again, heavy tears were rolling down her cheeks and she could not look anyone in the eye, not even Shepard. "Because of their arrogance, my people may have cost us this war," she finished in a pathetic whisper. "How can we live with ourselves?"

Despite wanting to offer Liara some form of consolation, Shepard stood rooted to the spot. The magnitude of the asari government's secrecy struck her like a slap across the face. She remembered the way in which the Council had been so dismissive of her findings three years earlier. All the while that two-faced bitch Tevos had known about the existence of the Prothean beacon on Thessia. It was only when she felt pain stabbing up her arms that she realised she was clenching her gloved hands into fierce, straining fists in an effort to restrain her anger. Standing opposite her, Liara kept her head down. Her entire body trembled. When she finally dared raise her gaze and look at Shepard, her eyes conveyed the fear she felt. It was as though she was accepting the blame for what the asari government had done. She understood Shepard's need to lash out to relieve her anger. It was almost as though her body had already tensed in preparation for the blow that would follow.

Shepard's lips parted slightly in shock. In a swift, determined movement she released her clenched fists and slowly extended one hand, palm upwards, towards Liara's cheek. She accompanied it with an almost imperceptible shake of her head, just to say 'never.'

_I know_ , Liara mouthed the words, leaning into her bondmate's touch.

"Now is not the time for primitive mating rituals, Commander." Javik regarded them impatiently.

Shepard hardly needed to be reminded of the urgency of their situation. Reluctantly she let her hand fall from Liara's cheek. "It's never too late. We're here now, we've got the foremost Prothean expert in the galaxy and an actual Prothean."

"Not to mention the only individual to have survived contact with a Prothean beacon...twice," Liara helpfully pointed out.

"Well that all paints a damn good picture," Ashley observed. "But the those Reapers out there aren't going anywhere, not to mention whoever carved up the scientists. I'd suggest a side of haste to go with your optimism."

Although Shepard had fully intended to leave the solving of this particular puzzle to the actual Prothean, she knew that her own particular insights might be of some small assistance - that and the fact that the statue of Athame was undeniably calling to her. It had been relatively easy to resist while her focus had remained on Liara, now it was becoming almost impossible. As before, Shepard could hear her companions speaking, she could hear their footsteps on the stone and the dull thud of battle beyond the walls of the temple. As the statue drew her in further, it became increasingly difficult to hear anything over the calling.

At first it was just like the gentle murmur of a quiet river – babbling, talking to itself. Gradually it shifted, becoming almost violent. The gentle river was transformed into a raging sea, waves crashing against rocks in a turbulent battle.

As Ashley continued to watch their perimeter, Liara and Javik searched for any clue amongst the asari artefacts surrounding the beacon. Most were trivial, as Liara had already explained to Shepard. She grew irritated as the Prothean continued to offer an explanation for each of the legends associated with the artefacts. Eventually she whirled on him, fully prepared to deliver a piece of her mind accentuated with the worst aspects of human language she had learnt from the Commander. Before she could open her mouth, she saw Shepard practically stumbling towards the beacon. Although she could not see her face, her arm was outstretched, reaching towards the statue.

"Shepard," she called out. "It would be wisest to approach with caution. Shepard?"

There was no acknowledgement. It was as though her words could not reach the Commander. Liara cast a quick glance towards Javik, but he merely shrugged in response. She decided to follow Shepard. A part of her wanted to be able to spare her bondmate the pain of reaching out to the beacon. She had witnessed the lingering after effects of the beacon on Eden Prime and seen firsthand Shepard's encounter with the one on Virmire. Both had left painful, lasting imprints on her mind.

Suddenly the temple ground gave off something of a sigh beneath her feet. It was a barely palpable tremble, but it sent a shiver up Liara's spine. She froze in her steps for a moment, before looking up towards the tiny figure, dwarfed by the gigantic representation of Athame.

"Shepard," she whispered. At the second, more violent tremble, Liara urged herself to move forward. At first it was a brisk walk, morphing into a run at the moment that Shepard blindly extended her hand towards the statue. "Shepard!"

The last was a scream, almost at the precise moment that the most unimaginable sound split the air within the temple. If it was possible for the ancients to scream through time, it would have sounded something like the immense crack that resounded between the pillars. It was reflected literally as the statue of Athame seemingly broke apart, massive shards erupting outwards. As Javik and Ashley scrambled for cover from the masonry projectiles, Liara was transfixed in the midst of chaos. The full force of the blast had struck the figure standing at the base of the statue. Like a limp rag doll Shepard was thrown almost the entire length of the temple – her flight only arrested when she slammed into one of the pillars. Despite everything, Liara clearly heard the sickening crack as Shepard's body impacted. She was still screaming when Ashley tackled her to the ground and dragged her into cover.

The dust had barely settled a minute later when Liara tried to fight free from Ashley's grip.

Javik had already reached the base of the beacon. "Asari!" he called – his tone bordering on something approaching enthusiasm.

Javik's attention was captivated by the glowing sphere that had emerged from the base of the beacon. Even as the Prothean reached out to try and touch the sphere, his excitement only dimly registered at the back of Liara's mind. Her sole focus was the crumpled form lying near the entrance to the temple. Ignoring any pain she felt as she scrambled to her feet, Liara willed her legs to move as quickly as possible. She practically threw herself across the distance. As far as she could tell, Shepard was not moving. She was too far to discern if she was breathing.

_Goddess, Evan_ , Liara thought desperately. _Please be alive_.

As she neared, two shadows suddenly fell over her bondmate's motionless form. The first was that of a man she had never seen in the flesh but she recognised from information cobbled together by her agents. Ex-N7, convicted of first-degree murder and dishonourably discharged, Kai Leng was a violent psychopath before he was recruited by the Illusive Man. The second figure Liara had met – she was every bit as violent and psychotic as Leng.

"Hello, T'Soni." Isini Aegir's tone was both contemptuous and extremely pleased as she took several steps towards Liara.

She placed herself between Liara and Shepard's still motionless body. Liara fought to wipe the desperation from her face so she could deal with the very palpable threat standing in front of her. Behind her she heard the urgent footsteps of her squadmates. She could only pray that they possessed clearer heads than she and had secured whatever data had emerged from the beacon.

"What do you want?" Liara's fingers itched. She realised that she had somehow lost her Carnifex when Shepard activated the beacon.

Leng and Aegir continued to move in opposite directions - the asari advancing toward Liara, Leng circling around behind her. Liara knew that she would soon be unable to keep both within her field of vision.

"The same reason you are, Princess," Aegir replied.

"Cerberus has no business here!" Liara snarled, both her anger and her biotics flaring at the same time. Not only were Leng and Aegir preventing them from carrying out their mission, they stood between her and her bondmate.

"Step away from that console, human," Leng added, addressing Ashley. "And I may let you leave with a few of your limbs intact."

"Bite me, asshole," Ashley replied derisively.

At the marine's side, Javik had his shotgun levelled in Kai Leng's direction.

Aegir snorted. She nonchalantly turned her back on Liara to stare down at Shepard's body. She lashed out, delivering a swift kick to the Commander's stomach. A dull thud rang out, and Shepard flopped over onto her back. Her eyes were closed, face slack.

Liara felt something inside her snap. "Do not touch her!" The words emerged as a primal scream, along with the warp field that she sent flying toward Aegir.

Her anger and subsequent attack had been entirely predictable. At the point that the warp field danced across Aegir's barrier, Liara knew that she had played into Aegir's twisted game. She immediately lost sight of Kai Leng as he leapt past her. Her hatred and desperation had blinded her to a rational response. Liara found herself at a disadvantage from the moment Aegir's first attack slammed into her shields before she had time to raise her barriers. With the warp field disintegrating her shields, Liara threw up a hasty barrier and scrambled backwards. Somewhere behind her she could hear the shouts of her comrades and the sharp retorts of their weapons. It gave her a measure of confidence to hear their firm responses as they fought Kai Leng. Finding cover behind a pillar, Liara pressed her back against it and drew strength from its solidity. She drew her Tempest and listened for the approach of her opponent. The grip of the SMG pressed into the raw wounds on her palms. She merely squeezed her fist firmly and let the pain offer her a measure of focus.

_Move, T'Soni_ , she urged herself. She knew Aegir would tear her to pieces if she displayed anything less than complete and utter ruthlessness. _This bitch is standing between you and the woman you love_. The mind of the Shadow Broker analysed the situation. _The solution is obvious – Aegir must die._

"Hiding, Princess? You really ought to have stayed in your ruins. Out here, in the real world, you'll only lose everything you've ever loved."

Aegir caught the full force of T'Soni fury as Liara suddenly emerged. Encased in her biotic barrier, she launched her entire body at Aegir. The other asari barely had time to raise her barriers before being knocked off her feet and driven backwards several metres into a stone panel. The satisfaction of feeling the jarring impact through Aegir's body brought a warped grin to Liara's face. In a manner more reminiscent of Shepard's fighting style, Liara brought her arm up and drove the butt of the Tempest into Aegir's nose. As purple blood began to flow freely over her lips, Aegir snarled – more in frustration than pain. Liara jammed her forearm beneath Aegir's throat.

"What can you possibly know about love, you heartless bitch?" Liara spat, her breath falling hot and furious on Aegir's bloody face.

"You think you're the only one who has ever loved anything?" Aegir replied, her tone far calmer than Liara's. "You speak of love, you probably think you've suffered too, but how can a child of privilege and wealth ever truly understand such things? Perhaps you may after I'm finished with you."

Liara snorted contemptuously. "The only thing you will be finished with is living."

Aegir laughed, blood bubbling from her lips. "How old are you? One hundred and ten at the most? You're a precocious child about to learn a very painful lesson. I have over three centuries on you, Liara T'Soni, and that time has not been spent in the hallowed halls of academia or as some human's play thing. I've fought tooth and nail for my life, for everything I have, and all that I am missing is your complete humiliation."

"I think you underestimate me," Liara replied coldly.

She was the Shadow Broker. How many had she killed as part of Shepard's squad, or in pursuit or Shepard's body? She had killed strangers without remorse, she would take pleasure in killing this unwanted acquaintance. It would not be a clean death. She sent raw biotic power coursing to the clenched fist of her free hand.

In hindsight, Liara knew that nothing came that easily, but good sense was far from her thoughts in the moment that she drew her fist backwards. Aegir lashed out with a biotic charge of her own. Although Liara's barriers were in place, the powerful field tore through as though they were paper and tossed her backwards. Liara reacted instinctively, rolling away as the demon leapt down from above. With an animalistic roar, Aegir's fist slammed into the flagstones where Liara's head had been a split second earlier. The counter-attack was virtually simultaneous – Liara spun, sending a warp field towards Aegir. It was easily deflected and she had to throw herself behind cover as a response narrowly missed. She slammed into the ground hard, still gathering herself together when a singularity formed directly over her head. With her shields still intact, she could not be drawn into it. However she could still be caught in the resulting biotic explosion when it was detonated. The dull boom caused her ears to ring painfully. She scrambled a short distance away, desperately listening and searching for any sign of Javik or Ashley. Several thuds and cries of pain dimly registered, but she could discern nothing from them. Still dazed, Liara tried to find Aegir. Although it tasted vile to admit it, she had been on the defensive virtually throughout the entire fight. Liara was a gifted biotic, but Aegir was nothing short of masterful. Perhaps Liara could have matched her if she had another few centuries of experience behind her. However as it was, she was essentially outclassed.

"Admit it, Princess." Aegir was somewhere in the shadows to the right. Liara shifted to a better position and began drawing on every shred of power she could hope to contain. "You're fucking scared, scared you won't see your precious lover alive again, scared you will be unable to defeat the Reapers-"

Liara emerged, rolling from her sanctuary as she discerned Aegir's location. She discharged the pent up mass effect field – directing the beam towards Aegir. It was a dangerous, desperate manoeuvre with which she hoped to catch the other asari off guard. Aegir responded rapidly, throwing her own field to meet Liara's. The two fields clashed midway between the asari, creating a swirling maelstrom of dark energy that danced and crackled in a duel.

Aegir laughed. "Surprising, Princess...and fucking stupid."

Liara did not respond. Sweat beaded on her forehead but she continued to force everything she had into the field. The raw power coursing through her body left her dizzy and sick to her stomach, but she would not give Aegir the satisfaction of being the first to falter.

Suddenly the ground beneath her feet gave a violent shudder, much in the same manner as it had when the beacon awakened at Shepard's touch. There was a harsh cry behind her from Javik and then another from Ashley. Losing her focus as the floor began to give way beneath her feet, Liara's field faltered for a split second. It was all it took for the opposing force to crash forward, slamming into her body and throwing her across the room. Her body cracked against the base of the beacon. Only winded, Liara was struggling to her feet when blue knuckled fists crashed across her face, followed in rapid succession by countless more.

"Now that was fucking satisfying," Aegir commented, laying on the last blow before stepping backwards, observing her bruised knuckles.

Thick liquid trickled into Liara's right eye, making it difficult to see. She felt its passage as it rolled down the side of her face. More flowed over her top lip. She tasted the tang of blood in her mouth. There was a crumpled body lying slightly to her left.

"Goddess," she whispered as she recognised Javik, a pool of blood spreading out from beneath his torso.

Beyond the Prothean's body, a brutal swath of the temple's flagstones had fallen away. All she could see was a gaping chasm falling downwards. She was searching desperately for any sign of Ashley when Aegir's mocking grin filled her vision. The other asari advanced with a drawn pistol.

"What will it be, Princess? Single bullet to the forehead?"

"Stay your hand, Aegir," Kai Leng growled. The assassin drew a communication sphere from his armour. "Someone would like a word first."

He tossed the sphere into the air. It hung suspended and spinning for a moment before a hologram formed around it. The smug visage of the Illusive Man caused Liara to scowl despite the pain this caused her bruised face.

"Do we have it, Leng?" he asked, his holographic form drawing on deep drag on the cigar between his fingers.

"We will momentarily," Leng replied as he moved to the base of the beacon.

As Liara watched, the assassin activated the sphere with his omni-tool. The particles expanded outwards until they formed into a humanoid form, eventually it morphed into a representation of a Prothean.

The newly activated V.I regarded the strange group of individuals surrounding it with an emotionless expression. "Concentrated Reaper presence detected, returning to hibernation mode." With the terse words, the Prothean V.I reverted back to its state of formless particles before condensing into the sphere. This sphere retreated into the console at the base of the beacon.

"Well, that was an anti-climax," Liara commented in a satisfied tone.

As though just noticing Liara's presence, the Illusive Man glanced down at her for the barest second before turning his attention back to his lieutenants. "Leng, download the data, we'll be able to deactivate the safety protocols in the lab.

"Understood."

Like an obedient dog, Leng trotted forward to do his master's bidding. Liara had to fight to keep her anger under control as she watched their precious data falling into Cerberus hands.

"Well, well, well, my dear Dr T'Soni," the Illusive Man said. "And where is Commander Shepard?"

"Dead, or as good as," Aegir answered mockingly. "Much the same as this one."

The asari lunged forward and trussed a dazed Liara up in biotic fields before drawing her into a standing position. Liara had to clamp down on her lip to keep from crying out in pain.

"Do not be so hasty, Isini." The Illusive Man advanced forward. Liara did not attempt to struggle against the bonds that held her, she knew that in her state it would be futile. "You have no idea how much it pains me to see you like this, doctor. Your knowledge of the Protheans is unrivalled. I sincerely wish we had recruited you to our cause on Mars, our relationship could have been...mutually beneficial."

"How?" Liara demanded angrily. "We are trying to stop the Reapers for the good of the whole galaxy. What is Cerberus doing other than trying to thwart us at every step?"

"Is it not obvious?" the Illusive Man said in a grand voice as he extended his arms outwards. "The rest of the galaxy is blind to think that the only way to resist the Reapers is to destroy them. You ignore the very real possibilities that are offered by control! The unrivalled power!"

"Goddess!" Liara gasped. "You are deluded if you believe that a force like the Reapers can be controlled."

"I have the data," Leng announced.

"Fucking fantastic!" Aegir had been tapping her foot impatiently throughout the Illusive Man's conversation with Liara. "I wish we had more time to play, Princess, but we can't always have what we want."

"Leave her."

Aegir whirled to face her employer. "What?"

The Illusive man inclined his head towards Liara. "Let the good doctor down."

With an irritated grunt, Aegir extinguished the fields holding Liara aloft. With nothing supporting her exhausted, battered body, Liara fell heavily to the ground. She could not hold back a short, sharp cry of pain when she hit. She looked up at Aegir's face and saw the plain hatred spelt out. Liara doubted whether Aegir would respect the Illusive Man's orders once his presence had departed the temple. Suddenly she heard raised voices coming from beyond the temple threshold – asari voices.

"Fuck it," Aegir hissed. "Next time, Liara T'Soni!" She spat Liara's name out as though it were a bad taste in her mouth. "I'm going to have you trussed up and squealing like a little bitch before I kill you!"

Blurry shapes were running towards them in the distance. More shouts went up advising the Cerberus agents to drop their weapons. The Illusive Man's figure disappeared, Kai Leng retrieved the sphere and suddenly both he and Aegir were gone from Liara's field of vision. A smattering of shots followed them but there were only half a dozen commandos and they did not appear willing to pursue.

"You have to go after them," Liara gasped as she saw a shape crouch down next to her.

"I've got five commandos left, T'Soni," it was Lieutenant Kurin speaking. "And they've got a fucking gunship. I'm sorry. Shit, you look like you came off second best in a head-butting contest with a Krogan."

"Tell me something I do not know," Liara whispered as she felt the Lieutenant's hands beneath her arms, helping her into a sitting position. Her throat was parched. "Shepard...is she..."

"She is alive, Liara," Kurin replied gently.

"Thank the goddess." Liara exhaled with relief.

"We've managed to contact your shuttle. If you're going to get the hell off Thessia then you are running out of time. The Reaper assault has increased in intensity over just the past thirty minutes. We've had several more Reapers touch down and we're running out of ships, ammunition and soldiers." She hauled Liara to her feet - with only a slight waver, she managed to stay upright. Kurin searched her face desperately. "Please tell me all of this wasn't for nothing?"

Liara swallowed but did not reply. Nearby, two of the commandos were applying medi-gel to the brutal slash across Javik's torso as he tried to push them away. The Prothean was obviously angry at his own failure. Her head turned and she saw another of the commandos at Shepard's side. Willing her legs to move as quickly as possible, Liara stumbled towards her. Kurin followed.

"Dammit, T'Soni, answer me?"

Liara eventually collapsed to her knees beside her bondmate. She saw the gentle rise and fall of Shepard's chest, but nothing else. She felt like weeping, but her voice emerged cold and emotionless. "No...we lost."

"Then Thessia is lost," Kurin added in a broken voice.

"I-I..." _I am sorry?_ _My home is lying in ruins, my people slaughtered, how can I be merely sorry?_ There were no words she could find to describe the despair she felt.

"Hey!" It was the unmistakable voice of a very pissed off Ashley Williams coming from the crater in the middle of the temple. "Would someone please help me the fuck out of this fucking hole?"

* * *

 

**SSV Normandy SR-2**

Her eyes snapped open quickly but awareness came slowly. Several minutes passed before she could orientate herself by just staring at the featureless metallic ceiling. Shepard shifted her body experimentally. Her muscles ached and her bones creaked in an unsettling manner, but everything seemed to be functioning. Beneath her body was the cold discomfort of one of the medbay bio beds.

_I should just make the medbay into my quarters_ , Shepard thought in exasperation. She searched her hazy memories, trying to remember exactly how she had ended up in here. At first it was just a trickle of disassociated images and sounds filtering into her mind – screams, fires mostly. _Thessia_. Shepard winced in pain as that particular word opened the floodgates – the screams were of the wounded and dying asari she had encountered on Thessia; the fires consuming their once beautiful homeworld. She saw visions of fragile bodies, twisted and broken in death – all of which reminded Shepard of her asari bondmate.

The images of Thessia were crudely meshed together with another set of images. From their incoherence and fragmented nature, Shepard knew that the beacon had thrust them mercilessly into her mind – without caring that her mind was very much human, and fragile. The visions were of endless light, interspersed with Reapers, and ruined corridors of a design Shepard did not think was Prothean. There was also another image that lay just beyond the limits of her comprehension, frustrating her in that she knew it was important, but could not reach out and grasp it.

She rolled her head to one side, the room spinning as she did so. The lights were dimmed but she could make out a crumpled shape lying on the bed next to hers. Shepard sat bolt upright only a spilt second after recognition dawned.

"Liara!"

She breathed a sigh of relief when her bondmate stirred at the sound of her name. Upon seeing Shepard sitting, she moved to standing with the motions of someone who was cautious of testing the limits of her battered body.

"Shepard." Liara's voice was hoarse and dry as she moved towards her.

Now that she could see her face better in the poor light, Shepard could see that her face was a mask of bruises and welts. The emotional trauma of Thessia was also evident in her eyes. Although clearly relieved to see that Shepard was awake, her eyes were surrounded by dark, puffy circles. Her bondmate looked as though she had been through hell...and a back alley fight somewhere in the Terminus Systems.

Shepard swung her legs over the side of the bed as proof. Her vision swam for a few moments but it soon cleared after a few, rapid blinks. "What the hell happened? Who did that to you?"

Liara reached out and put a gentle hand on Shepard's shoulder. "You should not move." She did not answer Shepard's question. "Dr Chakwas needs to examine you first."

"Hey...I'm fine, Liara," Shepard said, flexing her limbs experimentally.

The unmistakable crease to Liara's brow indicated that she was not convinced that Shepard was telling her the truth. "When you touched the beacon..." her voice trailed off, catching slightly, as though the memory was difficult to revisit. "It was almost as though you were picked up and thrown. You hit one of the pillars...Shepard, the sound when you hit...it was sickening. We thought...I thought you were dead."

"Well, I feel a little stiff," Shepard tried to keep her voice light but she could not ignore the pained expression on Liara's face. "I can't remember a thing that happened before entering that damn temple. Can you fill me in? Please tell me we got something we can use from that beacon?"

Liara was able to maintain Shepard's gaze for only a few more moments. Her expression flickered and she lowered her head. Shepard responded by extending her hand. Her fingers barely grazed the skin of Liara's cheek before the asari took a graceful step backwards. She refused to look back at Shepard.

"Liara?" Shepard pleaded. "Look at me?"

She shook her head slowly. "I am so sorry, Shepard."

"The beacon was useless?" Shepard asked, feeling hope rapidly ebb from her body.

"No...there was a Prothean VI embedded in the beacon. We attempted to retrieve it but it was stolen by Kai Leng...and Aegir..." Liara couldn't bring herself to go into the details of her brutal fight with Aegir that had ended in humiliating defeat. She did not have the words, she clenched her fists as an all consuming anger overwhelmed her – _The next time I see her that fucking bitch is going to die_. "I-I...I have no excuses for our failure."

Liara looked towards Shepard, but she wished she had not. She watched Shepard's entire demeanour change. The expression on her face alternated between despair and frustration. Without even trying, Liara knew exactly what the Commander was thinking – if she had not been knocked unconscious, then perhaps the beacon would be safely in their possession. The squad had let her down. Liara could not help but place the bulk of that blame squarely on her own shoulders.

"I-I am...Shepard...I..." The words simply were not there. Without a response to offer, Liara turned on her heels and walked out of the medbay as quickly as she could without breaking into a run.

Shepard sat on the edge of the bio bed, staring at the door until it finally closed and sealed off the medbay once again. The room descended into silence, her mind filled only with the chaos of her thoughts. Despite Liara's assumptions, Shepard did not blame her or the rest of the squad for the Prothean VI falling into Cerberus hands. The only person she blamed was herself. Her command – her failure. Despite Liara's description of what had happened in the Temple of Athame, Shepard felt physically fine. Usually she would have responded to the latest threat with immediate action, but at that moment in time she had nothing to give. She slumped back into a horizontal position on the biobed, actually longing for a blanket to draw up over her head.

"How are you feeling Commander?" the soft tones of Karin Chakwas eventually stirred her from a half-slumber.

"Like shit," Shepard mumbled, unable to keep the defeatism from her words or her tone. She knew had to go after Liara. Not only to reassure her that she did all she could to keep the VI from Cerberus, but to suggest a meld in order to make sense of her visions. She could think of no words to offer that would appease Liara regarding the former and the latter was something she was not willing to subject her bondmate to at that very moment. _You're her strength remember?_

"I've got Specialist Traynor requesting an audience," Chakwas informed her. "Can I invite her in?"

Shepard sighed. Her first priority was to inform Hackett and the asari Councillor of their failure. "Send her to the LC, Doc. I just can't deal with anything right now."

"Commander Shepard!" Chakwas snapped in reply.

Eyes wide, Shepard rose into a sitting position and watched as Normandy's usually placid doctor advanced towards her with fire in her eyes.

"Am I talking to the same woman who kicked Saren's butt and saved the Citadel? The same woman who rescued me and the rest of the crew from the Collectors before blowing them the hell up? Because you could most definitely fool me at this moment in time." Shepard squirmed beneath the doctor's harsh admonishment. "However if I am talking to that woman, then I'd tell her to talk to the Specialist, because she said something about tracking the whereabouts of the man your team fought on Thessia."

 


	25. Taming of the Black Widow

_{Welcome to Sanctuary. You have reached safety. There is no war here. We offer food, medical supplies and shelter to all. Please proceed to the registration desk where your needs will be assessed and we will help you. You are safe-}_

The speaker broadcasting the message was abruptly silenced. Only a few wires and a tangle of blackened metal remained when Miranda Lawson reholstered her Carnifex.

"Go fuck yourself, Father." Miranda turned her back on the camera. "You won't be luring any more colonists to play in your sick game."

Before her impulsive act could draw any Reaper attention, Miranda broke into a nimble jog, deftly avoiding dead Cerberus troopers as she moved. So far throughout the war she had done nothing except hide in the shadows, running for her life from the Illusive Man's assassins. Even if she did nothing else, or died in the attempt, she would bring her father's operation down.

It wasn't as though Miranda had a death wish. With her perfect genes she could naturally live two hundred and fifty years. However, living that long with the knowledge that she had done nothing to stop her father, would be worthless. As she ran, she did not allow herself to dwell on was the brusque, no-nonsense visage of Ashley Williams. She knew that if she allowed herself to give over to those particular thoughts, her desire to live would outweigh her mission.

_You should have kissed her while you had the chance,_ she told herself. _Regardless of whether or not she punched you afterwards, it would have been worth it._

Miranda pushed that thought right to the back of her mind. She was losing her edge. While she could handle herself against most of the Reapers that had invaded Sanctuary, she had absolutely no desire to go up against a Brute or one of the asari monsters on her own.

Keeping to maintenance shafts as she moved through the complex, she managed to avoid all but a few pockets of Cannibals and Marauders. At one point she found a husk had crawled into the shaft behind her, but she threw it backwards with her biotics and fired two quick shots into its chest. They were all secondary casualties, the real focus of her mission remained Henry Lawson and putting a stop to what he had created on Sanctuary.

Her resolve was only strengthened when she passed the tanks holding dead and dying colonists whose bodies were grotesquely transformed. All innocent people slaughtered at the altar of her father's deranged ideals.

Overhead, a skylight gave her a perfect view of the control tower high above. Miranda narrowed her gaze. It was time for a Lawson family reunion.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Shepard did not wait until she had finished one bite of protein bar before shovelling the next one into her mouth. As her jaw worked furiously around the brick-like substance, she didn't stop to reflect on the fact that it was barely palatable. Her body needed fuel. With the Citadel destroyed and supply chains faltering, the days of receiving anything remotely fresh were already a distant memory. It was either a protein bar or an MRE, and Shepard did not have the time for the latter. She polished off the first bar whilst waiting for the elevator, and had started on her second when it arrived.

"Commander...Commander!"

As she thumped her palm against the button for the shuttle bay, Shepard looked up to see Comms Specialist Traynor running towards the slowly closing elevator doors. She quickly thrust out her gauntleted hand and stopped the doors before they could close. With a grateful smile, the Specialist ducked inside and let against the wall. The young woman was obviously out of breath.

"You alright, Traynor?" Shepard asked, her mouth still full. "Were you able to get through to Sanctuary?"

"Sorry," Traynor seemed unmistakably nervous. "All communications in the vicinity of Horizon are being disrupted. I'm working on it but I don't think there's much I can do from up here. Which leads me to something..."

Shepard recognised the mannerisms of a crewmember who was trying to ask a difficult question. Usually she waited for them to spit it out, but she had little time. "What's on your mind?"

"I want to join the shore party," the Specialist announced suddenly.

Shepard stared at her for a moment, trying to fathom whether the techie was actually serious. Her jaw worked more slowly around her food. When she worked out the determined glint in her eye for what it actually was, she sighed. "I'm taking Liara, Vega and the LC," Shepard explained. "Along with a small squad to secure the LZ – initial scans reveal heavy fighting on the surface and I'm not taking any chances."

"I'll stay with the shuttle!" Traynor suggested hopefully.

"Look, Traynor, every one of those marines are battle-hardened soldiers. Have you even fired a weapon since basic?" Shepard asked, trying to conceal her irritation.

Traynor stiffened at Shepard's insinuation. "I keep my eye sharp, ma'am. I know how to shoot!" she replied fiercely. She then clamped her mouth shut, squeezing her lips into a tight line to keep from venting the rage that was obviously building inside her.

_Goddammit_ , Shepard thought, studying the young woman. She recognised that determination in her eyes – it was something she saw all too often when she looked in the mirror. Tangled within that was a palpable helplessness. However, where Shepard herself had the skills and the experience to face whatever they found down on Horizon, Traynor did not.

"No, Specialist, and that's my final-"

"Bloody hell, Shepard, that's my family down there!" Traynor lost the fragile veneer of calm she had been struggling to maintain. "You can't leave me behind, I-I..." Her voice caught and trailed off as her anger gave way to despair. She struggled for a few moments before collecting herself – dashing the tears away with a swipe of her fist. "The Reapers don't distinguish between those who are soldiers and those who aren't."

Shepard knew Traynor's words held more truth than she wanted to acknowledge at that point. She swallowed the hard lump of food that had been sitting at the back of her mouth throughout their conversation. It grated against her throat and eventually sat like a stone in her stomach. The remainder was crumpled in her clenched fist as she placed a hand on each of Traynor's shoulders.

"Traynor...Sam," Shepard said quietly. "I'm all for sticking a rifle in the hands of every able bodied adult and telling them to give the Reapers hell, but there are some people we can't afford to lose. You're far too valuable to the war effort...to me. I promise you that I'll find out what the hell is going on down there."

For a moment Traynor looked as though she might continue to protest, however she soon straightened and tilted her chin upwards in determination. "Ma'am yes, ma'am," she said snappily. The elevator door opened on the shuttle bay. While Shepard stepped out, Traynor remained behind to push the button that would take her back up to the CIC. "Give 'em hell, Commander."

The door closing cut off Shepard's curt nod and she turned to check that the rest of the squad was assembled. Vega, Liara and Ashley were all suited up and running through their last minute checks. Corporal Brake, promoted to replace Duquesne, led a small squad of marines as back up. Between them, Shepard was counting on having more than enough firepower to deal with whatever they found inside Sanctuary.

"Come on people, time's wasting and we've got a couple of psychotic Cerberus agents to tag and bag." Shepard propelled her people toward the waiting shuttle with an urgent swipe of her arm.

"What did Samantha want?" Liara asked as they settled into the shuttle.

"She wanted in on the mission," Shepard replied, yelling as the shuttle's thrusters fired up.

"Of course, Horizon...her family," Liara nodded.

Shepard briefly wondered when Liara had found the time to have a personal conversation with the Comms Specialist. It wasn't jealousy as such, more a realisation than she did not have the time to get to know her crew on such a level. Once there had been time for poker nights and drunken conversations in the observation lounge, now there was only the war.

"I told her no," Shepard said, beginning to question her decision. "Now however..."

"Should you have told her to put on a hardsuit and slapped an Avenger in her hands?" Liara asked in a level voice.

Shepard shrugged. "Her argument was that the Reapers don't discriminate. Your Dad was never a commando-"

"My Dad spent decades running with a Batarian warlord," Liara replied, a slight edge of pain to her voice. "The closest Samantha has ever been to live combat is a chess game. You made the right decision."

"I guess I did." Even as she said it, Shepard was not convinced. She braced herself as the Kodiak dropped from the bowels of the _Normandy_ \- feeling the familiar rush of her stomach trying to leave her body through her mouth. All she knew was that if she were in Traynor's position, she'd damn well want the hardsuit and Avenger – regardless of the consequences. She finally unclenched her fist and found the misshapen remnants of her protein bar. No longer hungry, Shepard folded in back into its wrapper and stuffed it into one of the webbing pouches on her suit.

* * *

 

**Horizon, Iera System**

Hard boots hit the ground, one set after the other. A rapid, precise coordination of movements from trained professionals. Shepard's squad disembarked the Kodiak and fanned out into a defensive formation. On point, Brake signalled that the LZ was clear. Shepard responded with a sharp nod and scanned the courtyard ahead. It was apparent from a preliminary observation that whoever built Sanctuary had a shitload of credits to spend. In her travels Shepard had spent time on dozens of colony worlds – none of them resembled the sweeping, precise architecture of the buildings that stretched out in front of her. Rather than create a sense of familiarity and ease, it sent shivers down her spine. The nearby buildings all carried evidence of recent fighting - back scorch marks and piles of rubble. Smoke drifted rapidly from a first floor window, and in the distance.

Shepard signalled Vega to push forward, which the burly marine did without hesitation. Moving surprisingly fast for someone of his bulk, he sprinted down into the courtyard, taking cover behind a still functioning fountain.

"Got anything, LC?"

Ashley kneeling behind a low wall, using it as a base for the Black Widow in her hands as she scanned the buildings in the distance. "Aside from the remnants of a fire fight between Cerberus and the Reapers?"

"What the hell?" Shepard hunkered down beside her and Ashley reluctantly transferred control of her rifle over to her. Ignoring the hemmed in feeling she felt whenever narrowing her field of view through a scope, Shepard scanned the courtyard. She passed over Vega who was still making his way forward and found the bodies the LC had been referring to. A number of corpses, belonging to both Reaper and Cerberus forces, littered the ground. "Well fuck me sideways," Shepard muttered, passing the rifle back to Ashley.

The Commander stood and turned to find Liara giving her a strange look. "What? It's an expression, it doesn't literally mean...oh come on - I must have used that one before?"

Liara shook her head. "That charming piece of verbiage has not crossed your lips in my presence, until now," she replied. "I know you have an extensive repertoire, but really, Shepard-"

"We're moving out," Shepard cut Liara off before she could continue insulting her limited vocabulary, even though she knew she was just teasing. She turned to Corporal Brake and noticed the marine was trying to stifle a smile. "The jamming will interfere with our short wave comms so I suggest keeping your eyes peeled at all times. I want this LZ held, Corporal, at all costs. Clear?"

"Crystal, ma'am," Brake replied with a nod, the smile only a brief memory.

With Liara and Ashley on the flanks, the squad moved up in a loose line, careful to keep an eye on the windows above them. They moved past the bodies that Shepard had spied through the scope, evidence of what must have been a brutal fight. Had the surrounding circumstances been better, Shepard might have smiled a little at the thought of her foes taking one another out. As it was, all she could afford to focus on was finding where the hell Kai Leng and Aegir were and retrieving the stolen VI.

A drone in the air overhead brought her gaze upwards. She looked up in time to see a shuttle, familiar Cerberus markings on the side, with flames shooting from its body. In the moments before the wounded craft slammed into the courtyard, Shepard saw a harvester flying over head. Memories of Thessia and the brave commandos came flooding back, but for now all she could hope was that they would not target their small force. The Cerberus shuttle hit with a sickening crunch. Any hopes Shepard had harboured of its occupants being killed in the crash were dispelled with Ashley's warning.

"Phantoms!"

Shepard's keen eyesight caught a flurry of shadows moving in the distance.

_Great, more than one Phantom_ , Shepard thought as she threw herself into cover. Up in front, she heard the rapid thump of Vega's Mattock as he opened fire on the nimble Cerberus assassins. The Lieutenant would be dangerously exposed in the face of several Phantoms. With their cloaking devices, they could outflank a soldier and slice them open within a few seconds. She searched her flanks and found both Liara and Ashley in moments. The LC was already lining up a shot with her rifle while her bondmate was pushing forward. Shepard kept pace with Liara, her Harrier trained ahead and ready to fire when she caught sight of the faint distortions created by the Phantom's cloak. There! A shimmer moved through the space directly behind Vega. Shepard could only watch as the dark shadow appeared as though folding out of nothing. The Phantom was preparing to strike when her entire body was enveloped in a stasis field. She was poised, almost elegant, until her head exploded on her shoulders.

Shepard let out a relieved breath of appreciation for Liara's handiwork. _That's my girl._

Vega spun on his heels in time to see the Phantom's headless corpse slump to the ground. A loud retort echoed around the courtyard as Ashley opened fire, followed by two more in rapid succession. Shepard caught sight of the Phantom in the LC's sights as she tried to dart into cover. Her barrier was in all likelihood disintegrated after being hit by at least one of Ashley's shots. Shepard pursued quickly, determined to reach striking distance before the barrier could regenerate. As she moved up rapidly through the rubble, two shots slammed inches from her head, the third struck her shields and sent her reeling to the ground.

Shepard turned the fall into a roll, coming up with her Harrier firing. Several rounds clattered across the tiles of the courtyard, only inches behind the Phantom's heels as she cartwheeled away. With her brow furrowed in determination, Shepard stopped in a kneeling position. From the stable platform she was able to fire half a clip directly into the Phantom's body. Her death screams echoed off the walls but Shepard did not let her finger from the trigger until her opponent was a crumpled, bloody pile on the ground. There was movement out of the corner of her eye, a flash of steel and Shepard twisted. The third Phantom's blade sliced only air where her body had been moments before. The tip of her sword caught Shepard's rifle, across the stock – digging deeply enough to knock it from her hands. Rather than scramble to retrieve her fallen weapon and leave herself open to a second swing, Shepard extended her omni-blade. It was enough to catch the Phantom off guard. As the Phantom hesitated, Shepard brought the blade downwards in a fierce slash. The first swing was easily avoided, but she followed up with a second – refusing to be driven onto the back foot. She had traded barely half a dozen blows when a high powered shot brought down the Phantom's barrier. Seconds later, its head disappeared leaving only a bloody stump.

Liara and Vega were both nearby, having dispatched the remaining Phantom between them. Ashley holstered the Black Widow as she joined them, a slightly smug smile on her face.

"Nice work with that beast of yours, LC," Shepard said as she found her Harrier a few metres away.

"Just say the word, Skipper, I'll place a requisition through the Spectre Terminal and you can have one of your very own," Ashley offered, even as she selected the Valkyrie assault rifle she also carried.

"Not a chance," Shepard replied, examining the damage to her own weapon – thankfully it was only superficial.

The squad encountered no further resistance as they entered Sanctuary itself. Despite the carnage in the grounds outside and within the building itself, the automated PA system continued to broadcast the same messages of welcome received by those civilians lured by the promise of safe harbour from the Reapers. The overly cheery message added to the sinister vibe.

They came across the bodies of more dead Cerberus troops. It looked as though the fighting had been particularly brutal.

"This place looks kinda like a spaceport terminal," Ashley observed, scanning several PDAs on a nearby desk.

"Yeah, if you're planning on taking a one way trip to hell," Vega quipped in reply.

Shepard gave them both a frosty glare. "Stay sharp. There may be pockets of Cerberus personnel still alive, not to mention Reapers. If we can find out what went down here then we will, but our main priority remains recovering the Prothean VI from Cerberus."

The main terminal seemed to lead nowhere. The only logical path took them to a dead end, a large and incredibly ugly ornamental pool. Unsurprisingly, it was Liara's keen analytical mind that worked out it was merely camouflage.

As soon as Shepard saw the lengths to which Cerberus had gone to cover up this aspect of their operation, she began to dread what they would find in the rest of the complex. Knowing Cerberus as well as she did, it could not be anything remotely benevolent.

Once they entered the hidden part of the complex, all pretext of Sanctuary being some sort of benevolent haven were stripped away. Gone were the faux messages of compliance, replaced by the chilling cold of a purpose they could not yet fathom.

"Skipper!"

Ashley had stopped in front of a console seemingly stuck on a loop. Shepard and Liara joined her. There was a face but it was unrecognisable until the Lieutenant-Commander hit replay. The scene rewound itself, revealing none other than Miranda Lawson – her expression furious and agitated.

_{If you're seeing this message then you've already come far enough to realise that Sanctuary is not what it seems. This is a Cerberus facility operated by my father Henry Lawson. You will find no safety here...only death.}_ Miranda paused and glanced over her shoulder as though she feared she might be being watched. When she turned back to face the screen, there was a tinge of fear on her face that she struggled to mask completely. _{They are using this facility to attempt to turn people into Reapers-}_

Liara could not suppress a shocked gasp while Shepard, Ashley and Vega all uttered 'fuck' in different tones as Miranda's recording continued.

_{Rest assured, I will not allow him to perpetrate this evil one day longer. He will be in the control tower...and that is where he will fall.}_ The last was not so much a warning, as a promise.

"What the hell is she doing?" Shepard growled in the moments after the message reset and started from the beginning.

"She's alone...with those Cerberus assassins," Ashley whispered, fingers tightening around her Valkyrie as though the weapon was a lifeline.

Shepard frowned for a moment, wondering if she had misheard the emotion in her friend's voice. Without dwelling upon it further, the Commander clamped a firm hand on her shoulder. "She'll be fine, Ash. Miranda is..."

"Resourceful," Ashley finished quickly.

"We push forward, double time." Shepard turned and nodded towards Liara and Vega. Her squadmates moved forward to secure the corridor. She followed, however when she turned to glance over her shoulder she found Ashley still staring at the console. "Ash!" she urged. It was enough for the marine to tear her gaze away and resume walking.

* * *

 

It was easier than she had expected – almost too easy. With his security in tatters in the wake of the Reaper attack, Henry Lawson's surveillance systems were probably blind to her approach. It wasn't until she was standing behind him with a biotic field dancing across her fingertips that Miranda realised he had been expecting her all along.

He did not even turn away from his work as she purposefully tapped her foot on the floor to get his attention. "It's good to see you, Miri."

"Don't call me that," Miranda snarled. She had been determined not to lose her temper, but her resolve fell to pieces in the presence of the man who had created her to be the first of his dynasty.

Henry Lawson turned. There was several days' worth of stubble growth on his face. He looked haggard and old. Nevertheless, there was a small smile on his face.

"Why not? You are my little girl. My Miri."

With a savage growl, Miranda unleashed the warped fields with a thrust of her arm. They smashed into one of the overhead consoles, showering the elder Lawson in sparks as it exploded. He merely laughed as though she were a child that had just demonstrated some particularly precocious talent.

"I see you have lost none of your spirit!" he chortled as he brushed a few glowing embers from his sleeve before turning his attention back to her. "My darling daughter. You look a little worse for wear, have you not been sleeping well?"

"I ceased to be your daughter the day I ran away from home amidst a hail of gunfire. Now I'm just another name on the long list of your enemies."

"Miri, don't be ridiculous-"

Another biotic attack, another console exploding above Henry Lawson's head. "Shut up, old man."

Her father's face twisted into a sneer at the unbridled vehemence in her tone. "You always were an ungrateful little wretch. I thought giving you everything you wanted, catering to your every need, would see you grow into a dutiful daughter. How wrong I was. You grew wild and completely obstinate."

"You would have seen me grow into a monster. Just like you!" Miranda spat.

"You filthy little-"

Summoning a much larger field, Miranda unleashed it without hesitation on Henry Lawson. It caught him full across the chest, hurling him back toward the window behind him. His back slammed into the glass with enough force to cause several cracks. Dazed by the impact, he started to slump towards the ground. Miranda was on him before he could fall. Trussing him up with her biotics, she hauled him back up until only the tips of his toes were touching the ground. It wasn't necessary to hold him in place, but she wrapped one hand around his throat for the sheer hell of feeling her thumb digging into his windpipe.

"Miri…please!"

Her only reply was to jam her thumb savagely into his skin as she forced him harder against the window. The cracks in the glass lengthened audibly.

"For god's sake, I'm your father!" he gasped. "We're...family."

Miranda's mind travelled to the moment where she had stepped across and planted a light kiss on the corner of Shepard's mouth on the Presidium Commons. The exact moment when she realised that she had finally made a friend. "That's where you're wrong, Henry. I have people out there that actually give a fuck about me. When I throw you off this tower, no one is going to mourn you."

Behind Henry Lawson the cracks in the glass continued to move outwards, accompanied by several loud pops. A harsh odour assaulted her nostrils and she looked down to see a dark stain spreading out across his trousers.

"Go on, say something else," Miranda hissed. She was watching the fear steadily take hold in Henry Lawson's gaze. "Anything...please. Push me over the edge, _father_."

"Wait, there's someone else. You have a-"

Before Henry Lawson could finish, Miranda was suddenly propelled backwards. Her back slammed against a console on the opposite side of the room. With the air driven from her lungs, Miranda collapsed to the floor. She was dragging herself back to her feet when she lifted her gaze to find herself staring down the barrel of a pistol. When she focused on the individual holding the weapon, she found herself staring into a pair of blue eyes that were the coldest she had ever seen. They belonged to an asari Miranda did not recognise.

"Oh thank goodness!"

Her father peeled his body away from the cracked window as a second figure approached. Miranda looked past the pistol in her face to see the masked figure of Kai Leng. The assassin scanned the room, his blank gaze passing from Henry to Miranda in one ominous sweep.

"Where the hell have the two of you been?" Henry demanded. He stabbed his finger in Miranda's direction. "This crazy bitch was seconds away from murdering me."

"We were occupied," Kai Leng murmured, barely paying attention to the shrieking fool behind him. His gaze was fixed squarely on the daughter who was still in a half-crouch.

"Cerberus doesn't pay you to be _occupied_ when you're supposed to be protecting me!" Henry yelled. Spittle formed at the corner of his mouth as he ranted. "Your boss will hear about this, about how you and that blue bitch over there left one of his closest associates open to attack."

"I'm sure," Kai Leng replied.

The assassin gave Miranda a long, steady stare. Even though his eyes were merely twin slits of light, she knew in that moment exactly what he was there to do. Henry Lawson was hovering just behind Kai Leng, still ranting, possessing not the faintest clue of what was about to happen.

When Kai Leng moved, Miranda was not even sure that she had seen the sword pierce her father's body. One minute Henry Lawson was standing upright, the next he was bent forward staring at the hilt of the katana sticking out of his chest. Any satisfaction that Miranda might have felt at seeing her father gutted on the end of a sword was tempered by the fact that she had wanted to kill him herself. The Cerberus assassin withdrew the sword in one quick motion. Her father sank to his knees. His expression was set into a mask of disbelief. Even as he was dying, he could not comprehend the fact that the Illusive Man had declared him expendable. He wavered on his knees as blood bubbled forth between his lips. As Miranda watched, in one fluid motion Kai Leng spun lightly on his feet. His katana flashed as it moved in a perfectly positioned arc, the tip a narrow smile across her father's throat. While it was not deep enough to sever his head, a bright spray of blood accompanied his falling body. Henry Lawson was dead before his body hit the ground.

"No tears for your father?" The asari's voice was as smooth as silk.

"He was not my father," Miranda said. She warily watched the asari out of the corner of her eye, but her main focus was on Kai Leng. "He was my creator."

With just the one attack, Miranda couldn't gauge the strength of the asari's biotics. However, with several hundred years training over her, the asari would probably be more than a match. She knew enough of Kai Leng to know that he was the Illusive man's best assassin. One-on-one, Miranda knew that she would struggle against either. With the pair of them together, any offensive move on her part would be nothing short of suicide.

As she drew in a shallow breath, Miranda weighed up her meagre options. There was very little point in keeping them talking. Stalling for what? She'd come alone without informing anyone of her plan. There was no back up. Likewise with begging for mercy, she already knew the Illusive Man wanted her dead. Enough assassins had tried and failed over the preceding months. Several of them had even been half-decent.

"I would say thank you," Miranda began. Her legs were starting to cramp from the crouch she remained in. "But you spoiled my private party."

Kai Leng may have been opening his mouth to reply, or he may merely have been laughing at her, however Miranda acted in that split second. Instead of rising to her feet in the expected move, she drove her body downwards into a roll and took the asari's legs out from beneath her. Before Kai Leng could react, she overloaded his shields. With the assassin pinioned in place for a few scant seconds, Miranda drew her pistol and fired two shots at his head. Both slammed into a hastily erected barrier. She didn't pause long enough to curse the fact that she had been a fraction too slow, she was already moving. Kai Leng's flashing blade narrowly missed carving one of her arms off as she twisted. She threw a warp field at the moment that the asari dropped her barriers to move position. The field hit and sent the asari flying over one of the consoles.

However when she shifted her focus back to Kai Leng, Miranda found herself with nowhere to manoeuvre. Even as she decimated the remainder of his shields with a second Overload, he sprang toward her. Miranda lifted the Carnifex in her hand but the solitary shot she squeezed off merely winged him in the shoulder. With a grunt of effort, she forced him back with her biotics at the moment his blade thrust across the distance between them. Had his strike not been unbalanced, it would have pierced her gut with a fatal wound. Twisting as she was, it drove into her right side. The cry of pain from her lips was accompanied by a desperate wave of biotic energy that smashed into the assassin's body. As was knocked backwards, Miranda slipped to the ground utterly spent. The pain arcing across her right side was severe as she jammed her palm into the wound to stem the bleeding.

"Leng!" It was the asari yelling from the other side of the room. "We've got company. It's fucking Shepard and her cronies!"

She must have been staring at one of the video feeds that were still functional. As she dragged herself behind a nearby console, Miranda tried to suppress the hope that had kindled. Through half-lidded eyes, she peered around her cover and watched as Kai Leng hauled himself to his feet. He threw a dangerous look in her direction but he was already moving away.

"We need Lawson's data!" he barked at his companion. "Leave the bitch to bleed out."

For a brief moment Miranda thought that she could lift her Carnifex and pump several shots into Kai Leng as he turned his back on her. However the pistol merely twitched in her palm as her strength ebbed away.

Her vision started to haze, folding in on her as she slumped face forward to the ground.

* * *

 

Shepard and her squad entered room after room as they made their way through Sanctuary, all the while accompanied by an eerie cacophony of familiar sounds – the grunting of husks and even the chilling wail of a Banshee. The squad continued to move – efficiently, leaving no corner unchecked. As they entered yet another sterile, cold laboratory, Vega pushed forward to the opposite end of the room. His Mattock swept his field of vision in carefully controlled arcs as he moved.

"Clear, we've got a door up here, Commander!" Vega called over his shoulder.

"Well bloody use it then! That's what doors are for," Shepard called ahead, unable to suppress the irritation in her voice. She was already sick beyond belief of this so-called Sanctuary – sick of its sterility, sick of the evil perpetuated on innocent people who had simply sought shelter.

"Evan," Liara said quietly as she moved past, trying to curtail that irritation.

Her bondmate clearly felt the same way; she was just more practiced at withholding her emotions. Shepard gave her a tight lipped smile in reply. As she followed in Vega's wake, Liara kept her Carnifex at the ready. Her scientist's eye picked up on the fact that this room was different than the others they had passed through. It was not a holding or processing room, but rather something far more sinister. Pod-like tanks lined one wall, each one evenly spaced. As she peered cautiously inside each, they appeared to be empty. Liara pushed past, trying not to dwell on the purpose on such tanks. In her already tense state, a sudden movement out of the corner of her eye was enough to make her gasp audibly.

"Liara!" Shepard's concerned shout responded to her gasp.

The response only made Liara feel foolish, she gave a very human 'thumbs up' but the positive gesture faltered when she saw the source of the movement. Not all of the tanks were empty.

"By the Goddess," Liara whispered.

Instead of shrinking backwards, she edged towards the tank. Within lay an asari, her face jammed against the plexi-glass where she had fallen forward. Her wide, glazed eyes pleaded with Liara for a moment before her body contorted, teeth bared in a rictus of immense pain. It lasted for several seconds before she calmed and lay gasping. By the time Shepard reached the tank, Liara had her fingers jammed against the lid, straining for some sort of leverage to open it.

"Help me, Shepard, please!" Liara demanded, desperately trying to prise the lid open.

Torn between helping her lover and protecting her, Shepard approached the situation more cautiously. "Liara, I'm not so sure opening that tank is the best course of action."

"And I will not leave her to die in there!" Liara replied fiercely. She stumbled backwards from the pod with searching eyes, trying not to look at the asari in the tank. Her chest was heaving from the abrupt exertion."There must be a control panel!"

Shepard glanced back to Ashley. The LC responded with a non-committal shrug that managed to convey both 'you're the Commander' and 'it's your girlfriend' at the same time.

"Are we pushing forward or what, Commander?" Vega called out. "That slippery Cerberus bastard isn't just going to sit around and wait for us ask nicely for our VI back."

"I have it," Liara announced triumphantly. Without requesting permission, she tapped out a series of commands on the console near the pod. With a hiss of escaping gases, the door opened the barest fraction. It was not wide enough for the asari to squeeze out. Against her better judgement, Shepard gently moved Liara aside so she could open the door. She placed one foot on the pod for leverage and gave the door a swift yank. The asari tumbled out, too weak to make any moment to arrest her momentum. She fell into Liara's waiting arms with a gasping cry of pain and relief.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice cracked and hollow.

Liara fumbled for her canteen, opening it with one hand. While the asari drank deeply, she risked a glance towards Shepard. The expression on her face was somewhat stony, and more than a little agitated. She was conflicted between her need to push forward as quickly as possible and her desire to help.

"Go," Liara urged, nodding her head towards Vega and Ashley waiting at the far end of the room. "I'll catch up."

"Liara-"

"For Goddess' sake, Shepard, just go!" Liara demanded, her own voice cracking with strain as the asari's body spasmed again. "I will be fine."

With an anguished glance that said she was only a split second away from hauling Liara to her feet and propelling her forward, Shepard wrenched herself away. Liara listened to the comforting sounds of her boots on the floor until they were little more than an echo in the distance.

The asari in her arms regarded her through heavily lidded eyes. She was obviously fighting an internal battle – one which she was gradually losing.

"You know what you have to do," she whispered in a broken voice. "For the love of the Goddess, please?"

Liara bowed her head and closed her eyes. Unbeknownst to her, tears began to flow from beneath her lids. "Yes."

She was forced to grip more firmly as her body shook yet again, by far the most violent spasm. When she stiffened and went still, her eyes were an inky black that swallowed all light.

"My name is...Lamia Gellis," she said, each word an effort. "I was born on Sanves. My mother's name is..." Her brow furrowed, not in pain but in an attempt to remember. "My mother's name is...Allegra."

The Carnifex jumped once in Liara's hand. An almost neat pattern of blood coated the tank behind her. Before sobs could overtake her, she gently extricated herself from beneath the dead asari and stood. Without glancing back, she turned and ran the length of the room as quickly as her trembling legs would allow her. By the time she caught up with the rest of the squad, her face was a mask of perfect composure. When Shepard reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder, she let the touch linger for only a moment before darting forward under the pretext of impatience.

The squad passed through several more rooms lined with the same pods – there were few occupants and those they did find were all dead save for one fully transformed husk. It was difficult for them all to remain emotionless in the face of what they were seeing. Shepard could not look at a dead husk without asking herself whether it was Traynor's mother or father. She was however thankful that she had refused the Specialist permission to join the shore party.

"This place is a warren," Vega remarked as they passed through yet another room seemingly identical to the last. The burly marine grunted in frustration and searched for the way ahead. "What's behind lucky door number two?"

Several metres behind him, Ashley was using the scope on her Black Widow to scan the facility as best she could. As Vega's palm stretched towards the door, her eyes widened at the thermal image displayed in her scope.

"Don't open that door!" Ashley's frantic shout came a split second after Vega slapped his palm on the door control.

'Holy fuck!" No sooner had the door cracked slightly open than a sea of soulless eyes and gaping mouths surged forward. Vega's frantic shout was almost drowned out by a cacophony of hungry moans. In the seconds that followed the door opening on the hellish tide, Shepard and her squad reacted on instinct. Ashley unloaded her three-shot clip into three successive husks with brutal efficiency. As Vega unloaded a desperate concussive shot into their midst, Shepard moved forward.

"Vega, down!"

The Lieutenant dove into a sideways roll without question. Shepard immediately tossed two frag grenades into the husks as they surged forward. The resulting explosions tore apart the front ranks of the creatures. Behind her, Ashley had holstered her Black Widow and opened fire with the more nimble Valkyrie. Liara threw a singularity in their midst – detonating it after several husks were drawn up into the vortex. As Vega scrambled backwards, Shepard covered his retreat with rapid bursts from her Harrier, shredding flailing limbs and torsos. First one clip and then a second were exhausted as the husks continued pouring through the narrow door.

"We need another way out!" Shepard yelled over her shoulder. The muzzle of her Harrier was already red hot.

There was a door to their right, earlier discounted because it was partially jammed. Liara jammed her shoulder into the gap, but she could not force it through physical strength. Gritting her teeth, she created a mass effect field and slammed it against the door. It buckled inwards, creating enough space for a body to squeeze through.

"Move!" she yelled.

Vega was the first through, barely managing to squeeze his bulk through the narrow gap. Shepard and Ashley backed toward them, keeping their attention focused on the husks as they moved. Liara threw up another singularity, refusing to step through the door until both her squadmates had passed. She lost track of the number of detonations she triggered, channelling all of her pent up rage and fury into a chaotic thirty seconds. When Shepard physically shoved her through the gap in the door, Liara saw for the first time that it opened onto a landing adjacent to a crane. Vega had already overridden the controls to move them forward. As it whirred into action, gears grinding and spinning, Liara turned to see Shepard grappling with a husk that had managed to latch onto her. A scream was lodged in her throat in the moments that Shepard threw off the creature and then threw herself towards the moving platform. The distance was a struggle for someone wearing full armour. Shepard pitched forward, her body slamming into the side of the crane. She was hauled upwards by Ashley as several husks mindlessly dove after her. Other creatures scaled the walls around them, heading towards the roof.

"There's an exit ahead," Vega pointed to the left.

"Let's hope there are no surprises behind door number three," Shepard muttered, shivering unconsciously when she glanced over her shoulder at their pursuers. "I hate those fucking things."

"Next time you want to dance with someone, Commander, ask me," Liara said, folding herself close to Shepard.

"I'd just stand on your toes," Shepard replied lightly.

The crane came to a jarring halt. All four of them jumped the short distance to the other side of the gangway and made it through the door before most of the husks came within striking distance. Shepard couldn't resist decapitating their nearest pursuer with her omni-blade. The door close shut on the others, the only thing getting through were their moans of frustration.

"Commander!" It was Ashley who spotted the elevator first.

Shepard uttered a slight sigh of relief that something was finally going their way. She checked the remainder of her ammunition as the four of them crowed into the small space – one clip and two frag grenades. If they did run into Kai Leng and Aegir, she'd probably be reduced to taking them on with her omni-blade. She couldn't help herself from casting a glance in Liara's direction. Her bondmate was leaning against the wall, eyes closed, grabbing a few precious moments to collect herself. It pained Shepard to have to demand more of her in that moment but she knew she had to push. If she did not demand everything out of her people in that moment, Kai Leng and Aegir would cut them to ribbons. The others looked to her as she took up position on point, she would be the first out of the door when it opened, the first target.

"These guys mean business," Shepard said quietly. "They're both fast, and talented at what they do. Do not underestimate either of them for even a split-second."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" Vega replied through gritted teeth.

When she turned to concentrate on Liara, Shepard found her bondmate stony-faced and determined but not looking at her. "Liara?" she said quietly. When she lifted her head, Shepard had to stifle the urge to kiss her. "T'Soni." She kept her tone hard and business-like, it helped somewhat. "I need you to deal with Aegir. Keep her occupied, whatever the hell you have to do to curtail her biotics. Can you do that?"

"Aye aye, Commander." Liara gave a short, curt nod, not betraying any hint of the fear she felt. She already knew that if Shepard knew how badly Aegir had beaten her less than a day earlier, she would not let her go face to face with the other asari again. This time she had to win, too much was riding on this.

When the elevator doors opened on the control room, the scene that unfolded in front of the tense, expectant squad was almost an anti-climax. Neither Kai Leng nor Aegir were in sight, the only others present were two apparently motionless bodies. Before Shepard's brain had even interpreted what was happening, Ashley was pushing past her. The Lieutenant-Commander scrambled the short distance to the nearest body. Shepard caught a flash of dark hair and a familiar black and white uniform as Ashley gently rolled the woman over.

"Miranda," Shepard whispered, feeling a slight pang of fear herself. Her priorities drove her to address other concerns first. She turned to Vega and Liara. "Vega, secure the room. Liara, I want that comm system up and operational."

Shepard herself approached the second body. It lay in an almost inhuman pool of blood. She knelt down to check the man.

"Don't bother."

She glanced back across to Miranda. The dark-haired woman's eyes were now open as she lay cradled in Ashley's lap. "Miranda?"

"The bastard's dead. Kai Leng gutted him like the pig he is," Miranda's voice was bitter.

"And Kai Leng?" Shepard's tone was not hopeful.

"Gone...him and the asari," Miranda replied. "I tried to stop them, but he carved me up too. I guess your arrival scared them off before they could finish me."

"Gone," Shepard whispered, feeling the now familiar tang of defeat. She heard footsteps beside her and did not need to turn to know that it was Liara. "What the hell was your father doing here, Miranda?"

The medigel Ashley had applied was starting to kick in as the ex-Cerberus operative stubbornly tried to sit up.

"Hey, don't move," Ashley scolded her, maintaining a gentle hold around Miranda's upper body.

"I'm fine," Miranda replied in an oddly soft tone.

Shepard's eyebrows lifted in subconscious surprise. She had to banish the expression when Miranda looked up at her a few moments later.

"My father was working with the Illusive Man, they were trying to-" Miranda paused, wincing in pain as she did so. "Study ways to control Reapers by using those people they lured here as test subjects. By god, Shepard, when I found out my father was working with the Illusive Man on a project, I knew I had to shut him down...I never expected him to be capable of this though."

"What did this have to do with Aegir and Kai Leng?" Liara asked, stepping forward.

"My father's research data...and tying up loose ends." Miranda nodded towards the body of Henry Lawson. "I'm fucking pissed that I didn't get to do it myself."

Shepard clenched her fists. All this way for nothing. "Liara, see if there's any data we can use left on the system...then we're making sure that no civilians come here looking for safe haven again."

An hour later, with Miranda fully stabilised and little else to show for her squad's trouble on Horizon, Shepard eased herself back against the hard seats of the Kodiak shuttle. The atmosphere inside was subdued save for Vega trying to inject some forced humour into his conversation with Cortez up front. Ashley was still holding Miranda on the seat opposite – the latter having falling into an exhausted sleep against the marine's shoulder. At one point Ashley caught Shepard staring at her and responded with a defiant expression – as if she expected disapproval. There was no whatsoever emanating from Shepard. A part of her wished she could summon up a smile for her friend, but a slight nod was the best she could manage in the circumstances.

"Shepard, we need to meld," Liara said abruptly, nudging Shepard out of a half-doze.

"That might be one of the most romantic proposals I've ever had," Shepard mumbled – trying to inject some enthusiasm into her voice. She did not open her eyes, but responded with a tired nod. "What I might have learnt from the beacon on Thessia...I know it's all we've got at the moment."

"By the Goddess I hope we are able to learn something from that head of yours," Liara whispered as she deposited a gentle kiss amidst Shepard's sweaty hair.

Shepard sighed wearily. "Goddess help us all."

 


	26. The Many Facets of Miranda Lawson

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Miranda's eyes snapped open. For a few brief moments she had absolutely no idea where she was. Her uncharacteristic response was panic, before she rolled her head to one side and saw the person slumped in a chair next to her bed. Clad in just her skin-tight bodysuit, still covered in the grime from Horizon, Ashley Williams had somehow managed to fall asleep with her head lolling back at an awkward angle. Mouth slightly open, audible snores - it was the sleep of someone who had pushed themselves to the brink of exhaustion.

_I'm back on the_ Normandy _._ Miranda let out a shallow breath. Her emotional response surprised her. It was a feeling of coming home.

When she tried to move, she felt an odd pulling sensation at her side. Her hand travelled down her body until she found the wound made by Kai Leng's blade.

_Of all the ways in which I could die, being stabbed by a fucking sword_ , she thought indignantly. Her anger swiftly dissipated as her gaze lingered on Ashley's sleeping face. Of all the things that could have surprised her of late, this development was by far the most surprising.

Miranda had to wipe a smile from her face when the door to the _Normandy's_ medbay opened to admit Dr Chakwas.

"Ah, you're awake. How do you feel?"

At the sound of Chakwas' greeting, Ashley's entire body spasmed. The marine jolted, narrowly avoiding falling off the chair. Upon seeing that Miranda was awake and staring at her, Ashley rose awkwardly to her feet. Her anguished expression was probably a result of being caught hovering protectively at Miranda's bedside.

"A little sore, but nothing compared to how I would have felt if the _Normandy_ had not shown up on Horizon."

"Glad to hear," Chakwas replied. "Williams hasn't left your side since you were brought on board."

Ashley paled noticeably. "Fell asleep. I…I should go."

"You don't have to leave," Miranda said as she propped herself up on one elbow.

"I'm very busy. There are things…um guns that need to be cleaned. They're very, very dirty," Ashley said, her words tumbling over one another in the haste to escape her mouth. For a split second her eyes drifted over the paper-thin medical gown Miranda wore. Her cheeks coloured. "Very dirty."

The backs of Ashley's thighs hit a nearby biobed as she was attempting to make her escape. She glanced angrily over her shoulder and glared at Chakwas as though the doctor had deliberately put the bed in her path. Miranda had to stifle a laugh as she realised it would be premature to celebrate her victory when she had not actually won anything. Not yet anyway.

"Um…clothes." Ashley jerked her head toward a pile of clothes on the end of the bed. "They're mine so they might be a little long given that I'm taller-" For some reason Ashley felt the need to act out her words with her hands "-and maybe tight across the chest given that you're-" She paused mid-movement with both hands hovering near her chest. The red hue in her cheeks deepened to crimson.

"I get the picture, Williams," Miranda said softly. "Thank you."

"S'okay…really." Even as the words left her lips, Ashley turned and made a beeline for the medbay door.

Feeling oddly jubilant despite the fact that a Cerberus assassin had turned her into a pin cushion, Miranda hauled herself into a sitting position with only a minimal amount of whimpering.

"That was odd," Chakwas commented on Ashley's abrupt departure.

Miranda turned and peered out of the open medbay windows. Obviously having forgotten that the room had windows at all, Ashley had stopped en route to the elevator. Although Miranda could not see the marine's expression, it looked as though she had her hands pressed to her face. A few moments later, Ashley hit herself on the head with the palm of her hand before finally leaving.

"Like she said," Miranda replied with a small smile on her face. "Her guns are dirty."

* * *

 

"I'm sorry we don't have time for nakedness and candles."

Shepard turned to regard her bondmate with an apologetic expression. She reached out a flicked a gentle finger down over Liara's cheek, making sure she did not trace a path over the purple bruises there.

Liara raised one of her eyebrow markings questioningly. "I do not recall there ever being time for candles, Shepard," she remarked archly, making Shepard wonder whether Liara felt somewhat deprived by the absence of candlelit lovemaking in their relationship.

"And there certainly will not be any nakedness," Karin Chakwas added as she moved to stand between them both in a blatant move to ensure this did not happen. "As fond as I am of you both."

While the doctor would be unable to pull them out of the meld, she was on standby to mop up the pieces. Shepard hoped it was an unnecessary precaution.

"Liara, this meld..." All trace of levity was now gone from Shepard's voice. She moved forward to take her bondmate's hands in her own. "There's so much resting on what's inside my head. I don't know if I can..."

With her inherent gentleness and grace, Liara extracted one of her hands and brought it up to cup Shepard's cheek. The smile that played across her lips was as sad as it was beautiful. Without saying a word, she conveyed to Shepard her complete understanding of their present situation. She even saw through Shepard's stoicism to see the very real fear behind it. The fear was still buried, but ever clawing its way to the surface. That so much was resting on one meld already spoke to the desperation of the situation they now found themselves in. It was finding Ilos again – but tenfold.

Liara leaned in close, her lips brushing against the surface of Shepard's cheek. As she prepared to speak, she felt both smooth skin and the ragged tear of one of the Commander's scars. "Embrace Eternity," she whispered fiercely.

Unlike their first few melds when it had been mentally and emotionally gruelling to meld with an asari she barely knew, Shepard now felt as though she was returning to a place of sanctuary as she was welcomed into the warmth of Liara's consciousness. The touch of Liara's mind was intimately familiar as they joined together on a chemical and spiritual level. Initially such contact had seemed intrusive to the hardened soldier, especially one so adept at guarding her own emotions. Now it was almost frightening how easily she allowed Liara into even the deepest recesses of her mind.

With Liara gently probing beneath Shepard's waking mind, the now painstakingly familiar images soon floated into their joined consciousness. Very little interpretation was needed, Liara could sense every element of Shepard's frustration at the limitations within the dreams and vision from the beacon on Thessia. She attempted to peel back the imperfectly constructed layers, trying to gain access to any hidden information that Shepard's unconsciousness mind had overlooked. Together they saw the shape that resembled Kaidan. Even within the meld, the handsome face twisted into an almost mocking sneer when it realised that Liara was with Shepard. The human-like thing that Shepard desperately wanted to extract answers from merely turned and walked away. When Shepard opened her mouth to plead with him to come back, their control over the vision shifted out of focus as it began to fracture at the seams. All too quickly it disintegrated as they were overwhelmed by a myriad of other memories, visions and imaginings of futures that had yet to come to pass. Most shifted and were lost too rapidly to obtain more than a general impression. However one that lingered was of the Temple of Athame. Shepard found herself in the eerie position of looking down at her own body. She also recognised the asari standing opposite and heard Liara's voice respond to Aegir's threats.

" _Do not touch her!"_ The scream that echoed from her lips as Aegir kicked her body and the resulting anger. The anger fuelled her biotic attacks and served to mask the very real fear she felt.

" _Hiding, Princess? You really ought to have stayed in your ruins. Out here, in the real world, you'll only lose everything you've ever loved."_

More anger, a primeval rage that gripped her entire body as she launched herself towards Aegir. Shepard felt the shock reverberate throughout Liara's body as she slammed into Aegir.

" _What can you possibly know about love, you heartless bitch_." She heard her bondmate's voice dripping with venom.

Shepard had never known such anger, such violence to emanate from Liara. It was not her lover fighting Aegir – it was the Shadow Broker, the angel of vengeance and fury. Liara's raw biotic power was driven by violence, ripped from her very core.

She was still furious even as the singularity detonated over her head and her ears thudded painfully. The pain only fuelled her anger, but it also clouded her judgment.

" _You're fucking scared, scared you won't see your precious lover alive again, scared you will be unable to defeat the Reapers-"_

Her field faltered and she went crashing backwards. When a blue knuckled fist collided with her jaw, Shepard felt the salty tang of blood on her tongue – it tasted of pain and humiliation.

The meld ended abruptly – almost as though the images were torn brutally out of Shepard's head. With a sudden headache raging between her ears, Shepard was forced to her knees. Her eyes remained closed in a vain effort to combat some of the pain. It was not until she heard Dr Chakwas's worried voice that she attempted to open her eyes.

"Dr T'Soni...Liara, can you hear me?"

The light was agonizing, almost burning into her retinas, but Shepard willed herself to action. While she merely possessed a headache, Liara was slumped motionless on the floor of the medbay. In just a few short seconds Shepard analysed everything – from the clammy pallor of Liara's skin to the doctor hastily injecting something into a limp arm. In an awkward series of movements necessitated by her own exhaustion, Shepard fell to her knees and crawled on all fours to Liara's side. Her anxiety gave way to relief when Liara's eyelids fluttered open. At first there was nothing behind the stare other than a vague confusion, but a few slow blinks later recognition dawned. She even attempted a smile, a gesture to ease Shepard's anxiety. It helped a little. Shepard extended her hand and brushed it gently across her lover's brow. Even with such a simple movement, her hand trembled violently. She responded quickly to hide the obvious weakness by curling her fingers into a tightly clenched fist and pressing it against the floor to steady herself.

"I am sorry, Shepard," Liara whispered. "I could see nothing beyond the images that you had already described to me."

"How is that your fault?" Shepard replied, failing to keep a note of exasperation from creeping into her voice. If the blame was going to fall on anyone for failing to stop Cerberus and find the Catalyst, then it would rest squarely on her own shoulders. "You did your best, Liara." Shepard's throat suddenly went dry. Unable to support herself on her haunches any longer, she collapsed backwards. Her back thumped against the cold metal of one of the bio beds and she did not move.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Karin Chakwas asked in a concerned tone. She was in the midst of supporting Liara into a sitting position.

Shepard nodded quickly. "I'm fine. Can you call someone to help Liara to her quarters?"

The innocuous enough question seemed to spur her asari lover to action. She shrugged aside the doctor's supportive arms. "And I am also fine!" she added stubbornly. As if to further prove her point, she even managed to laboriously drag herself to her feet.

That level of movement was far more than Shepard herself was capable of achieving. It took most of her effort to remain sitting upright. As she stared up at an indignant Liara, Shepard was drawn back to their exchange of visions during the meld. Her jaw involuntarily clenched at the memory of being thrown backwards by a biotic blast – Liara's memory of course, not her own. She had felt Liara's utter helplessness as she lay battered and barely able to respond to her gloating nemesis. She had tasted the humiliation on Liara's tongue as Isini Aegir stood over her. As Shepard forced Liara's memories from the forefront of her mind, she realised that she had only a tenuous hold on her anger. It was directed in a host of directions – especially inwardly. She had been lying senseless while her bondmate had nearly died at the hands of a lunatic. One place her anger was not directed was at Liara herself. Shepard swallowed, her mouth was bone dry but she was too stubborn to ask for a simple glass of water.

"Why didn't you tell me about Aegir?" Shepard eventually asked. When Liara started to respond with a slight frown, she continued with what she had seen during the meld. Her voice rose slightly as she did. "She could have killed you in the Temple of Athame!"

_Goddess, does she think I avoided telling her?_ Liara thought, trying to interpret the tangled flood of emotions that were emanating from Shepard. She hadn't necessarily avoided telling Shepard how she sustained her injuries on Thessia, several of which were still healing, but the moment had never presented itself.

"Shepard, you were badly injured, Cerberus had the Prothean V.I, the fight between Aegir and I was...unimportant," Liara attempted to explain.

"Unimportant?" Shepard repeated incredulously. "Liara, you are far more important to me than my own safely, or any damned piece of intel!"

Finding some measure of strength in her anger, Shepard hauled herself to her feet. While at first she relied on a firm grip on the corner of the biobed to remain standing, she was soon standing unaided. At the first hint of unsteadiness, Liara was standing directly in front of her, arms reaching out to encircle her waist with a surprising strength in her grip.

"I swear the next time I sent that bitch, I am going to rip her intestines out and feed them to a fucking varren!"

"No!" Liara interrupted so harshly that Shepard recoiled slightly in surprise. "You must promise me that you will do no such thing."

"How the hell can I make a promise like that?" Shepard's tone emphasized just how ridiculous she thought Liara's instruction.

"You must! After my mother, Aegir is the most powerful biotic I have ever fought. For all your courage and skill, she would rip you apart. You must promise to leave her to me."

Shepard responded with a reluctant nod and an embrace, even snatching a soft kiss before Dr Chakwas let out a discreet cough. "Sorry, doc," Shepard said, although she didn't look the slightest bit sheepish as she maintained eye contact with Liara.

"Neither of you will be engaging in life and death combat of any sort at present," the doctor added in a stern, reprimanding tone. Although you both appear to be out of any immediate danger I am prescribing some solid rest before returning to duty." Dr Chakwas paused to lift one of her eyebrows thoughtfully as she studied the human and asari before continuing, "Preferably alone so you actually sleep!"

"You have no intention of actually following the good doctor's orders do you?" Liara asked pointedly when Shepard had accompanied her back to her quarters.

"I always like to think of them as suggestions as opposed to orders," Shepard responded with a wry smile. However when the door slid open, she could only stare wistfully at Liara's bed at the other end of the room. "I need to get in touch with Alliance Command asap, inform them of our failure and discuss our next move."

Liara's fingers closed over Shepard's tugging her inside and away from the eyes of the Normandy's crew. "What is our next move?" she asked quietly, sensing the Commander's helplessness.

The sigh that followed was harsh and abrupt, definitely one born out of frustration. "To tell you the truth, Liara, I have absolutely no idea. I know we need to find the Catalyst before Cerberus…and I know we can't give up, but that's the extent of my plan. Beyond that, I have nothing – no strategy, no direction, no-" Shepard cut herself off before she could add 'no hope' to her verbal musings. She gripped the fingers of Liara's hand until her knuckles were white. "I'm going to make my report, then I'm inviting myself back to your quarters. I have the greatest respect for the doc, but I always sleep better when I'm with you."

Liara nodded slightly as Shepard disentangled their fingers so she could slap her palm against the door. It slid open and she began backing away. For a few moments at least, Shepard walked backwards so she could maintain eye contact a few moments longer.

"There are times when I am grateful that you have no qualms about disobeying an order," Liara said softly. As Shepard turned her back following a quick wink, a more sobering thought crossed her mind. "Shepard?" she called out. "You know this war will not end if I die."

Shepard stopped moving and turned. "I don't understand."

"I am not more important than your safety, and certainly not more important than the Catalyst. My death will have no impact on the course of this war."

_It would end my war._ Shepard fought to keep from giving voice to her reaction. "I spoke in the heat of the moment. I was angry at what Aegir had done to you…let's not talk about it right now. Why don't you get some sleep?"

Liara answered with a tired nod and the conversation was over. Before the doors to Liara's quarters closed, Shepard gave a vague approximation of a wave in an attempt to be flippant. She turned and walked towards the elevator with Liara's words and her own responses still echoing in her head.

_You need to focus_ , she thought wearily. _For the time being, Liara is very much alive, and safe – be grateful for that._ Although the conversation with Hackett was not something she was looking forward to, she increased her sense of urgency with the knowledge that they were all running out of time.

* * *

 

Liara could not bring herself to sleep. While much of the galaxy was now under Reaper control, she still had a limited network of informants working for the Shadow Broker. The feeds continued to offer pieces of vital information that could save lives and buy them more time to look for the Catalyst. She half-heartedly contemplated approaching Dr Chakwas for some stims, but already knew that the formidable human would simply tell her to take the sleep that she had already prescribed - galactic consequences or not.

The familiar sound of her door opening drew an element of her attention, but she did not look up at her visitor. As muted footsteps sounded on the floor, a tired smile crossed her lips. She had expected Shepard's conversation with Alliance Command to take longer.

"I am sorry, Shepard. I was fully intending to sleep," Liara said quietly as she concentrated on the screen in front of her. "But I find I also sleep better when I am with you."

"Sorry to disappoint…but I'm not Shepard."

Although the accented tones were immediately familiar, Liara instinctively turned with her lips parted in mild surprise. Standing a few metres away, still looking like death warmed up, stood Miranda Lawson. Despite her fragile state, the ex-Cerberus operative still somehow managed to maintain an imposing façade. There were very few people who unnerved the Shadow Broker, but Miranda Lawson was undoubtedly one of them. As secure as she was in the knowledge that her bondmate loved her, she would never be able to erase the images Shepard had inadvertently projected during one of their previous melds. The memory of her lover entwined so passionately with someone else, regardless of the fleeting nature of the relationship, still caused her cheeks to burn with anger and an unhealthy dose of shame. It served as a reminder that she had abandoned Shepard in her most desperate hour of need. She had no greater excuse than plain, old-fashioned fear.

Being forced in close proximity with Miranda, alone and without warning, Liara reacted with barely concealed hostility. "That much is obvious." Liara bristled, squaring her shoulders as if preparing for a confrontation. "What do you want, Miranda?"

As soon as the words left her lips, Liara regretted them, but the subsequent apology died on her lips when her extremely unhelpful imagination conjured up another image of Miranda naked with her lover.

"Forgive me if I have come at a bad time, Dr T'Soni," Miranda did not respond with anything resembling the same tone. She sounded as tired as she looked. "I will leave you to your work."

Liara recognised exhaustion when she saw it. The entire crew was operating at the very edge of their endurance, tempers were frayed and no one needed to stray far from civility to cause them to snap. Liara could not help but wonder how quickly society would descend into unrestrained chaos. She already knew that it was not a question of if society fell apart, but when. If they could not hold on to the very essence of what made them into a galactic society – Humans, Turians, Asari, Krogan and the rest – then they would surely fall into oblivion all the more rapidly.

In the seconds that Miranda had turned her back and begun to leave the room, Liara left her console and crossed the floor. She managed to stop Miranda with a gentle hand on her shoulder before she had taken more than a few steps.

"No, forgive me." Liara even managed an apologetic smile. "Can I offer you something to drink? I am afraid I do not have any coffee. Shepard seems to be one of the very few humans that does not care for it. I do however have tea – earl grey if I remember correctly."

Miranda shook her head slowly. "You do not need to offer me a drink, Dr T'Soni-"

"Liara…please, none of this 'Dr T'Soni' business," the asari interrupted quickly. For all her faults, the human remained one of Shepard's closest friends, it felt wrong to linger over titles where none were necessary.

"Alright…Liara," Miranda responded with a gentle nod. "Would you mind if I sat down?"

Liara inclined her head towards a nearby chair, preferring to stand herself. Miranda sat down slowly. Her wounds sustained during her fight with Kai Leng obviously pained her greatly despite Dr Chakwas' ministrations.

"How are you feeling?" Liara asked politely. She stood with her back to her still whirring console, trying to resist the urge to drum her fingers impatiently on the desk as Miranda's visit kept her from her work. _You are trying to delude yourself, T'Soni_ , she thought wearily. _All your leads are at a dead end._

"Like I've been spat out the arse end of a Thresher Maw," Miranda replied succinctly.

Liara would have smiled, but it sounded eerily like a response Shepard would have offered to the same question. She discreetly tilted her head to one side and studied the human woman intently for a moment. Although her perceptions of human beauty were limited by her relationship with Shepard, she had to concede that Miranda Lawson was a stunning example of the female form of her race. It had always been obvious as to the reasons why Shepard found Miranda attractive – two of them were on display beneath the soft, hooded garment that Miranda had obviously borrowed from Lieutenant-Commander Williams. Although Liara was usually an expert in such casual observations, the flush in her cheeks betrayed her.

Having known all along that she was an object of scrutiny, Miranda uttered an audible sigh. "Dr…Liara, as much as I enjoy exchanging pleasantries with you, we both know I'm not here for idle conversation."

"Then why are you here?" Liara asked, her veneer of calm slipping all too easily.

Miranda smirked. "You know those ideas you get that seem brilliant at the time, but upon closer reflection they're fucking ridiculous. Actually, you probably don't have those sort of ideas-"

"No, I was…" Liara paused _– At what point did I stop being a scientist?_ She continued in a firm voice. "I am a scientist. Those ideas are the very fuel that drives passion…discovery."

"Well, let's just say my brilliant idea was born out of a sort of passion, but now it has far more to do with salving my own conscience."

Liara's mouth went dry. _Oh Goddess, you really do not need to-_

"I knew all along that Shepard loved you. What happened between us had absolutely nothing to do with love…"

Liara closed her eyes. _Not the images-_

"I guess a part of me knew what Shepard needed and I was only too willing-"

"For the love of the Goddess!" Liara interrupted fiercely. "There are some things even a scientist does not need to know."

Miranda stared, obviously taken aback by Liara's sudden outburst. "I am sorry, Liara. I just thought you needed to know that she loved you…even then."

It was Liara's turn to sigh. "I have never doubted the extent of Evan's love. She is – what do you humans call it? – my soulmate. I have never understood the human concept of a 'soul', but it seems a beautiful thing to know that two individuals were destined to be together." Liara paused as she stared out of her window for a moment. The stars rolling by seemed to be fitting backdrop. "Your offer of an explanation is not necessary."

Miranda nodded. "I guess I was never was very adept at informal conversations between females…not that you are a female of course."

Liara found herself with a genuine smile on her face. "I get that a lot."

Miranda rose stiffly from her chair, folding her arms across her chest like some sort of protective barrier. "Growing up as I did, my father, the expectations placed upon me – I did not have friends. Shepard is one of the few people I trust enough to call a friend."

"I do not intend to keep you from Shepard," Liara replied gently. A part of her was relieved that Miranda was preparing to leave, and yet, inexplicably, she would have preferred that she stayed…at least for a few moments longer. While she did not think she would be able to go as far as to call Miranda a friend, Liara felt absolutely no sense of animosity towards the human.

Miranda paused in the act of leaving, somehow she had merely ended up closer to Liara. "I have spent much of the past six months hunting my father, now that he is dead I find myself having to take notice of the war against the Reapers, and the fact that it threatens everything I have come to hold dear." Miranda hugged herself even more firmly, the fingers of one hand stroking the fabric of the garment she wore as though seeking reassurance. Her face grew paler as she spoke, almost to the point where it took on an ashen sheen. "Shepard is our best hope to win this war," Miranda said with quiet emphasis. "I feel as though there must be something I can do to help."

Liara finally allowed herself to face her console once more. The irrational part of her had hoped that the machine would have found an answer to her question whilst she had been distracted by Miranda, but her search fields were still utterly blank.

"Unless you can tell me the name of this planet," Liara said as she keyed in a command. "Then I have very little useful employment for you." She brought up a computer-generated image of the planet from Shepard's vision – the one she had seen in the meld. The Prothean ruins outlined beneath the moons.

"It's Alcyone," Miranda replied simply.

Liara spun about, facing Miranda to find a completely serious expression on the woman's face. "Miranda, there is no planet in our galaxy that remotely resembles this image, how the hell do you know where it is?" Liara demanded, feeling sick to her stomach at the thought that Miranda was somehow toying with her.

"I expected more from the Shadow Broker," Miranda said as she gently usurped Liara's position in front of the console. She began typing in rapid bursts, bringing up a galactic star chart and homing in on the remote Titan Nebula. "There is no planet that resembles your image, or at least there has not been for several thousand years." Miranda picked out the second of only two planets in the Haskins system. "Alcyone," Miranda inclined her head towards the screen.

The grainy image was of a desolate world, it's blackened surface making it look as though it had been the target of orbital bombardment on a massive scale. As far as Liara could tell, there was only one moon and appeared to be a colossal asteroid field encircling the planet.

"Alcyone did have three moons. However at some point in the past ten thousand years, give or take a few centuries, the orbits of two of those moons grew unstable and ultimately collapsed. They collided and created an asteroid field that makes any approach to Alcyone perilous to say the least," Miranda explained. "The Prothean ruins in your image were largely destroyed when showers of those asteroids struck the planet. All that remains is now below ground."

"And you know all of this how?" Liara asked, fighting her fierce scepticism as it gave way to some sort of desperate hope.

"I've been there." Miranda shrugged. "Cerberus maintained a small research outpost in the Prothean ruins for several years. I was tasked with shutting it down when it became apparent that it was an unnecessary drain on resources."

"Cerberus," Liara whispered. Any shred of hope she had allowed herself to feel began to falter. "The Illusive Man already knows about this planet?"

Miranda shrugged. "Perhaps, somewhere at the back of his mind, but there's nothing there, Liara. Why is this planet so important to you?" the ex-Cerberus operative did not realise the impact her revelation had on the tired asari.

Supporting herself with both hands on the edge of a nearby desk, Liara met Miranda's gaze but her next words were not directed to her. "EDI? Where is Commander Shepard?"

"The Commander is still in a communication with Alliance Command," EDI's sultry voice responded almost instantly.

"Tell her that she is needed in my quarters, urgently," Liara replied.

"Dr T'Soni, I cannot interrupt-"

"Goddess damn you, EDI, if you do not interrupt Shepard's comm call, I will have Tali re-shackle you without any qualms whatsoever!"

Even EDI seemed slightly taken aback by Liara's outburst. She meekly replied, "Of course, Dr T'Soni."

While she was waiting for Shepard, Liara took to pacing the floor of her office. As she did so, she continued to quiz a rather bewildered Miranda Lawson for any additional information about the planet.

By the time Shepard arrived five minutes later, she was wringing her hands in agitation.

"Did you stop for a snack?" Liara demanded as soon as her bondmate stepped through the door.

A tired Shepard glared in response. "I was in conference with Admiral Hackett and the Council!"

Liara saw the defeated sag to Shepard's shoulders and the stubborn set to her jaw as she bit back further angry comments. Without caring that Miranda was standing behind her, she strode forward and enclosed Shepard in a fierce embrace. She kissed the side of her neck several times, feeling some of the tension ebb from Shepard's body at the contact.

"We've been summoned back to the Fleet. Hackett is calling it an emergency War Summit. I'm thinking it will be more a case of why the hell has Commander Shepard been running all over the galaxy without actually finding the fucking Catalyst," Shepard said wearily. As she drew back she cupped Liara's chin in her warm palm. "They're starting to lose hope, Liara, and I don't blame them."

"Perhaps what I have to say will restore some of that hope," Liara said, squaring her shoulders resolutely. "Miranda has found your planet, the one from your vision."

Shepard finally realised that Miranda was actually in the room with them, her eyes went wide when she looked at her ex-lover. Miranda confirmed the unspoken question with a curt nod. Holding Liara at arm's length, Shepard also seemed invigorated, with the missing fire returning to her eyes.

"Where is it?" she asked, her eyes drawn to the image on Liara's console.

Liara extricated herself from Shepard's embrace altogether and rapidly brought up a massive star chart that took up the entirety of the bank of screens in front of her. She plotted a course through several systems, ultimately ending up in the Titan Nebula.

"Joker, plot a course for the Titan Nebula – immediately," Shepard ordered. "Don't stop for anything."

_{Commander? Didn't you just order me to set a course to join the Fleet about one minute ago?}_

"I've changed my mind," Shepard replied. "EDI, get Admiral Hackett back on the horn, I need to let him know that I'm not going to be able to attend his Summit after all."

"Want me to come with you?" Liara asked.

Shepard grinned, suddenly feeling optimistic for the first time in several days. "Yeah, you can fill me in on the details while we walk."

"Ah, Shepard-"Miranda began.

Shepard turned, walking backwards so she could face Miranda. "War Room in four hours, Lawson, I'll be needing a full briefing. In the meantime, you'd better go find Williams – she almost threw a fit when she realised you'd escaped the medbay."

"Okay, I leave you alone for an hour and this is what happens?" Shepard remarked several minutes later as the pair of them entered the comm room, waiting for EDI to make contact with Hackett.

"I take absolutely no credit," Liara shrugged. "It was all Miranda…scarily convenient..." She paused, fighting back the increasing tendrils of doubt that were playing havoc with her own optimism. "Shepard, do you not think that we should approach this with more caution? Rushing headfirst into the Titan Nebula based on the recollections of an ex-Cerberus operative and hazy images of a planet that may or may not be the one from your visions?"

"We've been several steps behind Cerberus since that bastard Leng stole the Prothean VI. He toyed with us on Horizon. We've wasted enough time chasing them over the galaxy. I trust Miranda and, as much as it scares me, I trust these damn Prothean visions…even the dreams with Kaidan taunting me for my failures. I need you with me on this though, Liara. I can't make this journey by myself."

Liara reached out and gripped Shepard's hand. "You are never alone, Commander Shepard," she whispered firmly – at the precise moment that the grainy image of Admiral Hackett flickered into view.

"Commander." Hackett's voice seemed strained and remote to Liara, gone were any traces of the gruff kindness in his voice. He sounded as hard as iron. "Your AI tells me that you have new intel?"

"Yessir," Shepard replied, leaning forward over the console. "We may have located the source of the Catalyst."

Hackett's eyebrow's rose. "Do you have definitive proof?"

_Prothean visions, a couple of dreams and the word of an ex-Cerberus operative?_ Shepard thought with an inward wince. "It is substantial," she replied, trying to inject as much confidence into her tone as she could muster. "Unfortunately the trip will take us to the Titan Nebula, I'll miss the Summit and we'll be taking the Normandy through heavily infested Reaper space."

Hackett closed his eyes for almost a minute, deep in thought. When he opened then, all he responded with was a curt nod and a few words. "Don't let us down again, Commander. Hackett, out."

"I won't, sir," Shepard replied, even after the Admiral had disappeared from view.

* * *

 

Miranda had taken the scenic route back to the medbay. She was still reeling slightly from the strange conversation that had just unfolded with Liara and Shepard. Instinctively she tucked her hands into the pockets of the soft hoodie that Ashley had loaned her as she walked. Dozens of different thoughts and emotions had passed through her mind upon seeing the image of the planet Alcyone on the screen – most of which she could not even explain to herself.

Three years ago she had spent a few weeks on the bleak planet whilst working for Cerberus. Although her memory could usually not be faulted, Miranda found that trying to remember specifics of what she had seen and done while she was there was next to impossible. The fact that there were entire gaps in her memory was distressing to say the least.

She was still mulling this over in her head on her way back to the medbay when a dark shadow blocked her path. Miranda looked up and found herself staring directly into the rather stormy visage of Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams. At some stage over the past two hours, the marine had managed to shower and change into a clean uniform. Her long, dark hair was still damp.

"What the hell are you doing walking around?" Ashley demanded.

"I was just speaking with Liara," Miranda replied defensively. "I didn't realise I was confined to the medbay."

"That bloody Cerberus bastard ran you through with a sword!" Ashley pointed out. "You should still be in bed, not running all over the _Normandy_!"

Miranda turned and pointed to the door to Liara's quarters. "I went there. I didn't run, I walked at a very sedate pace." She turned back to Ashley and shrugged. "Besides, it was only a flesh wound and I heal faster than the average person."

"Only a flesh wound?" Ashley spluttered. "Get your ass back in there before I haul you in myself."

The ex-Operative couldn't resist raising her eyebrows as she studied the determined expression on Ashley's face. "Careful, Williams, people might start to think that you care about me or something."

Ashley's initial determination softened to a look that was part confusion and part embarrassment. However she composed herself quickly and indignant anger replaced everything else. Without a further word, she reached out and wrapped her fingers around Miranda's upper arm, propelling her back into the medbay. Dr Chakwas was sitting at her desk when they entered. Given that the doctor was an incredibly smart woman, she very quickly assessed the situation and rose gracefully to her feet. With some murmured word about finding something for lunch, Chakwas made her way out of her own medbay, discreetly closing the blinds on her way out.

Neither Ashley nor Miranda said a word, instead both were acutely aware of the door opening and closing. As soon as it locked shut, Miranda fiercely yanked her arm out of Ashley's grip. "You can't be that concerned about my welfare if you're manhandling me in such a fashion."

"Manhandling you?" Ashley replied in a low tone. The marine pressed a white-knuckled fist to her mouth for a few moments as though she was trying to stop herself from giving voice to her thoughts. She turned her back on Miranda and paced briskly.

"Williams?" Miranda thought the marine was going to walk out of the medbay.

Ashley spun on her heels. "What the hell kind of game are you playing at, Miranda?" she demanded. "I'm not some…toy to be used for your own personal fun. I'm a damn soldier, I've got a job to do and I can't afford to get caught up in the bullshit that seems to follow you wherever you go. So whatever it is you're doing, it has to stop now."

Miranda shook her head. "I'm not doing anything-"

"You're doing everything!" Ashley interrupted irritably, waving her hands to emphasise her point. "I can't be around you without turning into a gibbering idiot."

"Oh, Williams," Miranda murmured quietly. She fought and failed to stop the triumphant smile that appeared on her face. "You really are quite clueless aren't you?"

The words did not have the exact playful effect that Miranda desired as Ashley bristled noticeably. "Oh I'm so sorry that I'm not as brilliant as you, _Operative_ Lawson. Fine, I admit that I'm not smart enough to play along with you. So congratulations, you've made a complete ass out of the dumb grunt and I'm really happy that you can look so pleased about it."

"What game do you think I'm playing, Ashley?" Miranda kept her voice quiet and level as she switched tactics in an effort to placate the obviously agitated, angry marine.

The question obviously caught Ashley off guard. Her eyes bulged slightly as she tried to work out how to reply. She initially settled for single words and simple hand gestures. "You…me…" She pointed between the two of them. " _Us_." The pacing resumed with vigour as she continued talking. "I'm straight, Lawson…completely straight, which means that you leading me on is just weird and pointless…and cruel!"

While Ashley's back was turned, Miranda closed the gap between the two of them. When the soldier turned again, she found herself toe to toe with the object of her frustration. Before Ashley could continue her tirade, Miranda reached up, wrapped her fingers around the back of her neck. She pulled the taller woman toward her with one determined tug. Ashley had only time to utter a small gasp of surprise before Miranda's lips closed over her own. The resulting flood of sensations were far too complex for her to interpret in those first moments as the other woman's lips moved in a sensuous, expert motions across her tender flesh. At first Ashley was too startled to respond. She stood like an immovable lump of flesh as Miranda used her other hand to wrap around her waist and bring their bodies together. As soon as Ashley felt Miranda's chest press up against her own and her thigh slip between her legs, she felt her defences crumble. She had very little idea what she was doing as she began to move her lips in response to Miranda's caresses. Operating by instinct, she followed Miranda's lead in an urgent, primal dance of fiercely heated breaths, wandering hands and inexplicable emotions.

As they drew apart to snatch a much needed breath, Miranda felt a thrill at the feel of Ashley's heated breath flowing across her lips. "Not so straight after all," she whispered.

She felt oddly under scrutiny as Ashley stared her in return. The marine reached up and ran a harsh thumb over her swollen lips before continuing up over the smooth skin of her cheek. Miranda leaned into the touch, smiling in genuine happiness.

Without warning Ashley swept one hand under her thigh and gently lifted her up onto the nearby bed. Miranda barely had time to draw a breath before Ashley initiated another kiss. Pleasantly surprised, Miranda wrapped both her legs around the soldier's waist, keeping their bodies pinned together. While one of Ashley's hands was tangled in her hair, the other went to the zipper of the hoodie Miranda wore. Ash dragged it down urgently so her hands could burrow inside. A small gasp, half way between pleasure and pain left Miranda's lips as one of Ashley's hands closed over her breast through the t-shirt she wore. The tough was rough and hesitant.

In the narrow space between their writhing bodies, Miranda was aware of Ashley's hand at the waist of her trousers. Her urgent need outweighed everything, even the slight pain as her medication wore off. Miranda closed her eyes, tongue trailing over her lips in anticipation. When Ashley's hand delved further, fingers eventually scraping lightly against her underwear, Miranda heard a low groan emerge from her lips.

"Ashley...please."

It was the first time Miranda had ever pleaded with a lover, but she wanted this so desperately.

The contact was suddenly gone. When Miranda opened her eyes, she found Ashley staring at her with a wide, startled gaze.

"Is something wrong?" Miranda asked in a whisper.

Ashley stubbornly shook her head. Her entire body was trembling. "No…I just…" She tried to step back but Miranda's legs were still locked around her waist. "Please let me go."

"Ashley-"

"Miranda, please!"

Desperation was evident in her voice. Miranda quickly complied and Ashley took several hurried steps backwards, still shaking her head.

"Whatever it is, I'm sorry," Miranda said as she climbed down from the bed. "I thought you wanted-"

"Shit…yes, I do," Ashley interrupted to admit. "I just…I need some space to work out what the hell is happening here."

"Isn't is obvious?" Miranda asked. "I want you, Ashley Williams. Unless I'm very much mistaken by that kiss and that look in your eyes, you want me too. It doesn't have to mean anything, it's just sex-"

"That's the problem. It's not _just sex_ …not with you." Ashley scrubbed angrily at her forehead. "I...I..love-"

Miranda was left to grapple with the realisation that Ashley had fallen in love with her.

It was made all the more difficult when she admitted her own truth to herself. She felt exactly the same way.

* * *

 

Shepard's quarters were bathed solely in the soft glow of light from her fish tank, much of the space was left in shadows. As Liara entered the quiet solitude, relishing the luxury of being alone with Shepard for a few short hours, she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. She approached the massive fish tank, drawn to the one bright splash of yellow amidst the dull green weeds swaying in the current. When she pressed her fingers against the glass, the vibrant fish darted forward towards her presence. Seemingly pleased to see someone, it churned and danced in the water in front of her.

"There is a live fish in your tank," Liara pointed out, even though she was sure Shepard would already know.

"Tali bought him for me. The lucky little bastard got a ticket off the Citadel, and I have something to remember to feed again," Shepard replied as she walked past Liara, brushing her fingertips against the asari's back as she moved towards the bed.

Liara smiled. "Have you given him a name?"

Shepard frowned as she took a seat on the edge of her bed. She was in the midst of stripping her boots off when she replied. "You know I never name my fish."

"Perhaps that's your problem…the reason why they keep dying. You don't have any emotions vested in keeping them alive."

"You want me to name my fish?" Shepard asked. There was a slightly grumpy tone to her voice as she stood up in order to start stripping her uniform off.

Liara shrugged. "Why not?"

Clad in just a pair of underwear and a vest, Shepard joined Liara beside the tank. "Fine. Fish, henceforth you are Horatio Nelson in the hope that you will be a tough son of a bitch that cannot easily be killed."

Liara turned to regard her lover with a slight frown marring her brown but she did not press for an explanation regarding the name of the fish – instead she recalled Hackett's parting words. As she slipped easily into Shepard's embrace, she tucked her chin over her shoulder.

"What did the Admiral mean when he said 'don't let us down, again'?" she asked softly.

Shepard sighed and clutched Liara to her chest as a slight chill took hold of her body. "There were accusations…suffice to say, the Council's…and the Alliance's faith in my efforts are faltering."

Liara drew back and stared at Shepard, her expression aghast. "You united the races – Turian, Krogan…the Geth and the Quarians? The entire galaxy would have collapsed already if not for your efforts, your sacrifices! That bunch of self-serving, sanctimonious…"

"Hey," Shepard whispered quietly, silencing Liara with a gentle kiss. "I know what I've done…can we just have this short time to forget about the military and the Catalyst?"

With her anger not abated in the slightest, Liara claimed Shepard's lips in a fierce, bruising kiss. Shepard was momentarily surprised by the intensity, but she soon responded eagerly to the taste of her lover's mouth. As Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard's lean, taut body, she ran her fingers over the muscles, the scars and finally to rest atop her rapidly beating heart. She tore her lips away long enough to breath a few hasty words into Shepard's ear.

"I love you, Evan," the words felt hot and heavy coming forth from her lips. "Please take me to bed."

With a grin, Shepard shifted her stance and her grip. With little warning, she suddenly levered Liara's feet off the floor altogether and swept her up into her arms.

"Shepard!" Liara yelped at the utter lack of control and the fact that Shepard seemed to be struggling slightly as they swayed down the stairs towards the bed.

The finale to the grand gesture was somewhat less glamorous as Shepard dumped Liara on the bed and tumbled down after her. "Fuck, you're heavy!" the Commander eloquently announced as she turned to regard the indignant asari lying next to her.

Any comment Liara was about to make was soon lost as Shepard claimed her lips in another kiss – this time a languorous caress that left them both breathing heavily with barely concealed desire. Shepard eventually left Liara's lips to trail her own down over the perfectly lovely jaw and throat laid out below her. Her efforts gained in intensity as Liara tilted her head back in response.

"Shepard," Liara breathed, making a half-heartedly attempt to place her hands on Shepard's chest and push her backwards. There was very little force behind the effort and she was distracted when she felt the curve of one of Shepard's breasts beneath the palm of her hand. "We need to sleep."

"We will," Shepard replied, barely pausing in her ministrations. "I just want ten minutes first."

"Ten minutes!" Liara gasped as Shepard worked her jacket undone with deft movements. "I think you over-estimate your abilities, Commander."

Shepard bared Liara's breasts enough to be able to wrap her mouth around the nearest. She swirled her tongue around the soft nipple until it was flushed and hard in her mouth. When she stopped Liara uttered a moan of protest. "I united the races remember? And I'm even better in bed than I am in the field." Even in the haze of pleasure as she felt Liara's body unfold beneath her, she had to fight hard to keep the darkness at bay. _And I need to forget where I am and what I have to do._

Liara smiled, twirling her fingers in Shepard's hair. "You have your ten minutes."

"Ten fucking amazing minutes," Shepard promised.

* * *

 

**A/N:** There is no planet called Alcyone in the Titan Nebula – it's an entirely made up planet (although there is an Alcyoneus in the Arcturus System). It's also the closest I will even come to naming a character after myself.

 


	27. Gut Instinct

**SSV _Glasgow_**

After an hour jammed in the uncomfortably small passenger seats aboard the shuttle, Second Lieutenant Lucy Park fervently hoped that she would be able to stand without falling over. While the wound she had sustained fighting on Earth had healed well into a taut, pink scar, it constantly insisted on throbbing with a dull ache regardless of how many painkillers she took. She waited until the other personnel had filed out of their seats before rising herself. Relieved to find that her leg still worked, Lucy limped out of the shuttle. She passed through the docking tube and onto the Alliance cruiser, SSV _Glasgow_. The first thing she noticed was that security was tight, even for the CIC of an Alliance cruiser. Several hard visages of armed Alliance marines all seemed to be scrutinising her as she walked past. She found that the heart of the _Glasgow_ was a hive of activity. Lucy felt like an intruder until she saw a familiar figure beckoning her with a wave of his arm.

"Admiral Anderson, sir." Lucy gave the tough veteran a smart salute. "It's good to see you."

"Likewise, Lieutenant," Anderson said as he gave her a nod.

Lucy frowned. "Lieutenant?"

"You've been promoted, Park. I guess no one bothered to tell you while you were recuperating," Anderson pointed out. While no smile touched his lips, his eyes hinted that he was pleased.

"Thank you, sir." Lucy said the words instinctively, without any sense of achievement or pride in her tone.

With Susannah gone, she had no one to share the promotion with. No one other than Anderson, and he was the one person who knew that she had been prepared to simply give up and die on Earth. _The Admiral carries my sorry arse miles through enemy territory and I get promoted for it?_ Lucy did manage a small smile when Anderson slapped her on the shoulder, but it was fleeting.

"I believe I also have you to thank for this posting," Lucy continued, finally managing to feel something other than a growing sense of helplessness. "I'm still unsure why you would need me on the Crucible Project. I'm no scientist and I'm not even much of a soldier."

Lucy only had to look around her to see the wealth of resources that the Alliance had amassed to bring the Crucible Project to fruition. Just on the bridge of the _Glasgow_ she could see several races in addition to the Alliance personal - Turians, asari, Quarians, a scattering of Salarians, and even a volus. She was unaware that Anderson had taken a step towards her until she turned and found him practically standing on her toes.

"Because I trust you, Park," Anderson said in voice so low it was almost lost amidst the noise on the bridge. "The Crucible may be practically completed, but it is vulnerable to attack…and especially sabotage. One carefully placed saboteur could doom the entire project. I want you to keep an eye on everything, and you'll be reporting directly to – ah, there she is now."

Following Anderson's line of sight, Lucy instinctively knew who he was referring to. She watched as a slender woman strode purposefully across the bridge towards them. Lucy picked out the stripes of a Rear Admiral on her worn but crisp uniform. Everything about her bearing and appearance clearly indicated military - her straight back, squared shoulders, clipped steps and even the manner in which she wore her hair. Her dark locks, streaked through with grey, were drawn back into a severe bun that gave her a haughty countenance.

The Rear Admiral saluted Anderson crisply. "Anderson, is this my new aide?"

Anderson nodded. "Lieutenant Lucy Park, Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard."

"You come highly recommended, Park," Hannah replied in a no-nonsense tone. Her icy blue eyes carried no warmth, only a grim purpose.

Anderson's recommendation counted for little at that moment in time. Lucy had recognised the name instantly and, with a little blatant staring, she also recognised the unmistakable features of the woman in front of her. They were the same features that had stared so resolutely ahead during the debriefing she had watched. It seemed like an eternity since the idealistic Intelligence Officer had watched Commander Shepard's debrief and felt exceptionally righteous in her defence of Shepard when Susannah had doubted her story. Lucy had then met the woman herself in the ruins of Vancouver. Based on her limited impressions it seemed to Lucy that the younger Shepard wore her emotions on the outside, while her mother kept everything behind a restrained exterior.

"Well it would seem that this one is incapable of speech," Hannah eventually spoke when it became apparent that Lucy was not going to reply. "Silence might be nice for a change. Thank you, Admiral. I believe Hackett wanted an urgent word with you."

With Anderson's departure, Lucy was left with no choice other than to follow Hannah Shepard. She felt like a fool for having done nothing but stare. Intelligent conversation seemed to have fled her altogether. As they left the bridge, Lucy nearly had to break into a jog to keep up with the other woman's brisk pace. However her injured leg protested, and the best she could managed was an awkward, limping gait. When the Rear Admiral realised that her new aide was lagging due to her limp, she slowed but offered no apology.

"I met your daughter," Lucy blurted out suddenly. "The day the Reapers hit Earth."

She bit her lip almost as soon as the words emerged. _You had to say it!_ Lucy chided herself angrily _. Just in case she didn't think you were enough of an idiot already._

Hannah Shepard suddenly stopped walking and turned to face Lucy with an impassive expression on her face. When faced with the resulting stare, the Lieutenant suddenly wished that she an airlock would malfunction and blast her out into space. Anything was preferable to going toe-to-toe with the icy Rear Admiral. As she stood still, she felt the throbbing in her leg intensify along with her heartbeat.

"And are you among those who believe that she brought the Reaper invasion down on us while she was running around the galaxy playing hero?" Rear Admiral Shepard asked coldly. "That if it was not for her madness and playing with forces she did not understand, that the Reapers would have simply left us alone?"

"Ma'am?"

"It's a simple enough question, Lieutenant Park. Is my daughter to blame for the mess in which we now find ourselves?"

Lucy was taken aback, once again left with her mouth open in a dull stupor. How could Shepard's mother even ask such a question? _Speak, Lucy, for fuck's sake_. "No, ma'am!" Lucy finally blurted out. She swallowed and attempted a more measured reply. "If not for Commander Shepard, we would have already lost this war. She is a hero, regardless of the erroneous opinions about her."

The Rear Admiral merely stared in reply, her face still frozen in some sort of mask. It was at that point that Lucy began to think that the expression was permanent. She eventually offered a small snort before resuming her walk at the same blistering pace she had employed earlier.

"Quickly, Park," Hannah Shepard said without turning around. "The world won't sit still for you just because you're crippled."

Lucy watched the woman walk away for several seconds, contemplating whether to even bother following her. However she eventually squared her own shoulders and began limping after the Rear Admiral.

* * *

 

**Alcyone, Titan Nebula**

Steeling herself for the challenge, Shepard grasped the tab firmly between her thumb and forefinger and gave it one sharp tug. Much to her chagrin the foil came away in a narrow strip as opposed to peeling away in one sheet. The bulk of it was still very much attached and her food was still concealed.

"Blast," she muttered as she engaged in the tedious process of trying to remove the foil from the container in a piecemeal manner.

"Pass it to me," Liara said, holding out her hand and beckoning with her fingers.

"It's fine, I've got-"

"Evan," Liara interrupted in a gentle, persistent voice.

With a sigh, Shepard passed the small container across to her bondmate. She watched with an absurd level of fascination as Liara began to slowly coax the foil from the container. Beneath her patient ministrations, the foil remained in one sheet as it came away. She then detached the disposable fork from its niche in the side and handed both to Shepard without a trace of amusement on her face. Upon receipt of her food, Shepard mumbled something that might have been a thank you and began methodically shovelling forkfuls of thick, paste-like substance into her mouth.

As she ate, Shepard turned her attention toward the bank of screens on the opposite wall of the shuttle. Barely silhouetted against the inky darkness of space, the blasted surface of the planet Alcyone looked even less inviting than the slums of Omega. The very image of it was foreboding enough to summon a sense of discomfort – one she was unused to feeling.

Still, her choice of squad dispelled this somewhat. The team possessed a wide variety of skills, more than sufficient to face the unknown. Tali sat on her other side, but for the slight nod she received when she turned to look at her, Shepard would have thought the Quarian was asleep. Further down towards the front were two of her most trusted marines - Corporals Alden Brake and Theo Naylor. On the opposite side of the shuttle sat Javik – one of the most obvious choices for a squad scoping out Prothean ruins. The last remaining Prothean seemed oblivious to the fact that he was in a bumpy shuttle – his eyes were closed in silent meditation. In contrast, flanking him on either side, were Lieutenant-Commander Williams and Lieutenant Vega. The two marines were dutifully checking and double-checking their weapons and gear with methodical precision.

The squad was rounded out with the addition of Miranda. Shepard had been reluctant to bring the ex-Cerberus operative given her wound, however given that Miranda had actually been to Alcyone, her knowledge was as invaluable as Javik's. Miranda had deliberately avoided sitting next to Ashley. Instead she had folded herself into a corner and sat, staring at the vid screens with a detached expression.

"Commander!"

Cortez's urgent shout roused Shepard. She scraped the last dregs of paste into her mouth and hastily jammed the empty container into the shuttle's garbage compactor before joining Cortez in the cockpit.

"What have we got, Lieutenant?"

An approach trajectory that avoided the asteroid field created by the collision of two of Alcyone's moons created the most straightforward path. The few stray chunks of debris posed few problems for a pilot as skilled as the Lieutenant. Shepard lowered her armoured body into the chair beside Cortez, wincing as something pressed into one of her many bruises.

"My initial scans have revealed evidence of a minor seismic disturbance at the coordinates for our landing site," Cortez informed her soberly.

"Fantastic," Shepard muttered in a grimly sarcastic voice. "Why didn't we pick it up on the _Normandy's_ sensors?"

"It took place a few minutes ago. Like I said, it was minor but the epicentre appears to have been very shallow. I thought you would want to be aware of it."

"Agreed - although earthquakes or not, we're going into those damn ruins."

"Should I return the shuttle to a low level orbit as a precaution, Commander?"

Shepard thought for a moment. "No, I want you to keep the shuttle in the LZ. Keep her warm though, be prepared if anything threatens your position. Stay in constant communication with the _Normandy._ With all the magnetic interference, our comms underground may be unreliable. Understood?"

"Crystal, ma'am. He looked back over his shoulder to address the rest of his human cargo. "Hold onto your skirts, ladies, it's going to be a bumpy descent."

"Who the hell are you calling a lady, Cortez?" Ashley snapped in return.

"I was talking to Vega," Cortez replied with a grin. "No offence, ma'am."

"You and I are going to have serious words when we get back to the ship, Esteban," Vega growled good-humouredly.

Ashley laughed, the sound lost amidst the clunking of armour and rattling of weapons within the confines of the shuttle. Roused from his meditation Javik regarded the humans around him with utter disdain.

"I'd have thought you'd look quite fetching in a skirt, Vega!" Shepard joined the banter, before the turbulence as they entered Alcyone's atmosphere forced her to sit more squarely in her seat. "Shit, Cortez, are you deliberately trying to find every fucking bump just for the hell of it?"

She did not expect an answer from her shuttle pilot. Deep in concentration, the bare muscles of his forearms were whipcord tight as he wrestled with the controls in an effort to keep the shuttle on course. Shepard watched as the blackened surface of the planet below rose up to fill the entire viewing screen as they hurtled down towards it. Usually completely at ease during shuttle drops, Shepard realised that she much preferred to be in the belly of the shuttle.

It was with some relief that Shepard leapt out of the shuttle following touchdown. She felt an eerie sense of déjà vu as her boots crunched on the harsh black rocks beneath her. The sensation only increased when she scanned the horizon ahead. She had done all of this before. Behind her, Cortez powered down the shuttle's engines and, for several seconds, an unnerving silence descended over the Commander. She stood transfixed, fully expected the ghostly shape of Kaidan Alenko to walk over the horizon, complete with mocking expression.

The rest of her squad filed out of the shuttle behind her and a multitude of sounds broke the silence. Vega continued to trade insults with Cortez even as the shuttle's door was slammed shut. With no marines remaining with the shuttle, it would be a lonely vigil on the planet's surface for the pilot. Shepard turned to regard her team, a detailed briefing had already taken place on the _Normandy_ an hour earlier so few further words were necessary. However, now that she was actually on the surface, Shepard felt compelled to add an extra level of awareness. The experienced team in front of her already had their weapons at the ready. They all appeared impatient to be underway.

"Williams, you're on point with me. Vega and Brake - rear-guard. Tali, I want a constant check on our comms with both the shuttle and _Normandy_. Lawson, stay close to Liara. Everyone stay frosty." _There's no way in hell that I'm letting Cerberus shit all over us this time._

An assenting chorus followed with several 'yes ma'ams and 'aye, aye, Commanders' and one condescending nod from Javik. As they moved out, Shepard sought out eye contact with her bondmate for reassurance. She did not know what to make of the resulting curt nod. However a wink a split second later earned a relieved grin – especially considering that Liara was terrible at the human trait and had a tendency to use both eyelids.

"So it's Lawson?" Miranda remarked acidly. "When did I stop being 'Miranda'?"

Shepard shrugged. "You're one of the marines now. That Alliance gear looks good on you."

Miranda cast a glance downwards – she was wearing a set of borrowed armour in standard Alliance blue and white. In addition, she carried an N7 Hurricane on loan from Shepard's personal arsenal. Armed with incendiary ammo, it was the perfect complement to her overload ability.

"This isn't permanent," Miranda replied.

"What else are you going to do? Go back to being a hunted fugitive?" Shepard couldn't resist the jibe. It earned an acidic stare from Miranda before she slipped back to join the middle of the column.

"Go easy on her, Skipper," Ashley said as Miranda passed out of earshot. "She's had a rough few days."

Shepard fell into step beside Ashley and elbowed her friend. "What's going on between the two of you? And don't tell me nothing, because it's obvious how you feel about Miranda every time you look at her."

"Shepard!" Ashley glanced ahead to Miranda and over both shoulders to ascertain whether anyone had overheard the offhand comment. The former Gunnery-Chief's cheeks had turned an unflattering shade of red.

The fleeting guilt at having been the cause of her friends' embarrassment was soon quashed beneath an overwhelming sense of curiosity. "As your commanding officer-" Shepard began.

"You wouldn't seriously order me to answer that question?" Ashley interrupted in a horrified voice.

Shepard found an easy grin spreading across her face. It felt good to act as though they weren't in the middle of a war for survival, even just for a few minutes. "Relax, LC, you know I wouldn't make any such order. Under normal circumstances I'd just ply you with alcohol until you spilled everything.

"Ha!" Ashley snorted triumphantly. "The entire crew knows that the great Commander Shepard is crap at holding her liquor. Remember what happened the last time you tried to drink me under the table?"

"Don't remind me," Shepard muttered. In truth, she had a limited recollection of the incident in question. Other than a vague image of attempting to dance on a table, it was one hazy blur. A raging headache and a severely depleted credit chit were the only remnants the next morning. She had to concede defeat. "In all seriousness, Ash-"

"Skipper," Ashley interrupted quickly, "This is weird for me…not just weird, but very, very freakin' weird. I've never been with...I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep trying to make it weirder."

"Hey, I'm sorry for bringing it up, LC," Shepard offered.

Ashley sighed wearily. "No, don't apologise. It's probably good to talk about it. Healthy."

Shepard gave her a reassuring nod. "Whatever is or isn't going on, the two of you deserve each other, and I mean that in the best way possible."

They slipped into a companionable silence. However, Shepard couldn't help but notice that Ashley was making a concerted effort to appear as professional as possible. It was only when Miranda joined them on point, that Ashley's composure slipped and a slight twinge of panic appeared on her face.

"The entrance to the Cerberus site is just to the left of that jagged outcrop of rock," Miranda informed Shepard. "Security should be minimal, this outpost was never a priority."

"Thanks, Lawson. I guess it's unlikely that we'll actually find the Catalyst here," Shepard commented in reply.

Even as she said the words, she felt an odd twinge in her chest. She almost paused, half-expecting a return of the attacks that had plagued her since the Reaper invasion. The sensation passed quickly, leaving her feeling slightly light-headed in its wake. She pushed it to the back of her mind as she took over point duty.

Shepard felt oddly optimistic as she neared the location Miranda had indicated. A scant second later, this optimism was cruelly shattered by a rapid storm of weapons fire. It struck her shields several times before she threw herself to the ground. Even though she found it difficult to breathe, Shepard clawed her way across Alcyone's harsh surface to reach cover. With a grunt of exertion, Shepard was about to haul herself behind a rock when she felt someone else tugging her with strong grips beneath her arms. Miranda and Ashley threw themselves into cover beside her. Shepard scowled when a series of shots ricocheted off the rock scants inches above her head.

"The next time you say 'security should be minimal' I'm going in with all guns blazing," Shepard informed a crestfallen Miranda.

"Automated turrets – they must have been installed as Cerberus pulled out." Miranda's frustration was evident in her voice.

Shepard craned her neck to see several of her squad deploying in a flanking movement designed to draw fire. Her trained ears immediately picked up the presence of a second turret – from the crescendo of gunfire and the frantic curses of her squad. She was still analysing the situation when she caught a blur of movement out of the corner of her eye. Seemingly oblivious to the harsh gunfire kicking up stones all around her, Miranda broke cover to use her overload ability. In doing so, she exposed herself to the combined fire of both turrets. The arcing blue sparks danced across her fingertips before seeming to instantaneously leap the gap and strike the nearest Cerberus weapon. In the seconds that it took for her ability to recharge she hit the ground hard, rolling in an effort to avoid the fire zeroing in on her. The second overload strike stripped the turret's shields completely. The resulting combined fire from Ashley's Valkyrie and Tali's incinerate ability reduced the first turret to a twisted scrap of metal in a matter of seconds.

Five minutes later, the second turret had been dealt with in a similar fashion. The rest of the squad watched as Miranda picked herself up out of the natural defilade in which she had taken cover. Her armour was scorched black in several places and she was breathing heavily.

"Not bad for someone who has no interest in being a marine," Shepard remarked as she lowered her Harrier.

Miranda did not reply. Instead she sank to one knee and paused to catch her breath as the rest of the squad emerged from cover. Several had taken damage to their shields, but no one was wounded. Ashley appeared somewhat stricken as she approached Miranda. The brusque marine simply held out her hand and practically dragged the other woman back to her feet. Their hands remained clasped as they stared for a few moments.

"Don't do that again," Ashley whispered fiercely.

Before replying, Miranda studied her carefully. With her advanced genetics, her breathing had already returned to normal. "Why Lieutenant-Commander Williams, anyone would think you cared about me."

Ashley did not pause in offering her reply, "Of course I do, you idiot." Without pause, the marine grabbed the back of Miranda's neck and drew her close enough to claim her lips.

Mindful that they were not alone, the kiss lasted all of a second before Ashley pulled away. She stubbornly refused to look anyone in the eye and simply continued as if the kiss had not happened. Shepard was suddenly aware of her intrusive observation of the scene that had played out in front of her. When she looked away, she found Tali standing beside her.

"Well, that was surprising," the Quarian offered simply.

"Not a lot surprises me at the moment," Shepard replied. She gave Tali a hearty slap on the shoulder. "You know, I've always wondered what Quarian-Turian babies would look like."

"Has anyone ever told you you're an ass, Shepard?" Tali growled in response.

"Constantly," Shepard replied.

Although Shepard was quite sure that Tali was delivering a stare of glacial murder behind the mask of her envirosuit there was little time to face her wrath. With every member of the squad having sorted themselves out efficiently, Miranda was soon signalling that she had located the entrance to the Prothean ruins.

The door, if it could be called that, was simply a black, gaping maw beneath an overhang of rock. As foreboding as it was, it seemed to Shepard as if something was beckoning her inside. Each footfall of her boots crunching across the stony surface seemed to be magnified tenfold inside her head. They echoed in the cavity between her ears. Once again, she felt as if she was the only person standing on the planet's surface. For all its eager enticement, the darkness remained something to be feared. A light touch on her shoulder caused herself to catch her breath in surprise. It was only Miranda. Shepard let out the breath slowly.

"What's wrong?"

Shepard paused, remembering her conversation with the thing that looked like Kaidan. She shook her head. "Nothing – let's get this over with."

With Miranda following in her footsteps, Shepard switched on the light beneath the muzzle of her Harrier as she neared the entrance. The beam emerged strongly enough at first, but it seemed feeble when compared to the inky darkness beyond. Her unease manifested itself only when she looked over her shoulder in an effort to catch Liara's eye for just a moment. However her bondmate was in the midst of an agitated conversation with Javik and the look passed unnoticed.

Eventually the harsh surface beneath her boots gave way to a manufactured surface. It was structurally similar to elements of the Prothean ruins at Ilos. The crunching footsteps became an eerie tapping, soon followed by a chorus of others created by the rest of the squad following in loose formation. Although each individual tried to keep noise to a minimum, the confines of the tunnel amplified each sound. Above all of this, Shepard could still hear the urgent rasp of her breath. It increased steadily until she realised that each breath was almost a struggle. The march from the LZ to the tunnel entrance had been brisk but hardly strenuous for a combat soldier. However these symptoms in addition to a pounding head made Shepard feel as though she had just sprinted to the limit of her endurance. The clawing pains began a few minutes later. As she had feared, they were identical to her earlier afflictions. The pain eventually became impossible to conceal. At the point where each breath became a laboured gasp, her outward composure slipped. Most people would have been doubled over in pain as Shepard struggled to place one foot in front of the other. The light in front of her eyes was intermittently spotted with hazy black spots. While the majority of the squad, including Liara, were too far behind to notice anything out of the ordinary, her awkward movements soon became apparent to Ashley.

"Skipper?" Ashley asked. When she received no response, she reached out and clamped her hand on Shepard's shoulder. "Shepard, are you alright?" When she dragged Shepard around to face her head on, she was shocked to find her face a ghastly shade of pale. "Shit, Miranda, help me find somewhere-"

With reflexes Ashley had not expected, Shepard's hand darted out to catch her wrist in a vice-like grip. Her gaze took on a feverish intensity. "I am fine," she replied in a slow, deliberate voice.

"With all due respect, you look like utter shit," Ashley insisted.

Shepard released her grip on Ashley's wrist and continued walking forward. Despite the pain, she was cognisant of the rest of the squad moving up quickly. In an effort to avoid anyone else noticing that she was in difficulty, Liara in particular, Shepard squared her shoulders defiantly. "I appreciate your concern, LC, but I'm fine."

The marine grudgingly accepted her Commander's word, but was noticeably unhappy about it. Shepard could feel Ashley's gaze on her as she walked, watching for the slightest hint of weakness. Mercifully, the pain had already begun to subside, enough at least for her laboured breathing to ease.

The walls within the Prothean tunnels seemed to narrow. They grew closer and more claustrophobic the longer the darkness stretched on ahead. Shepard paused as she reached a junction. In one direction clearly lay a lesser thoroughfare. It was narrower and the unfinished rock of the ceiling was lower. Shepard was poised to continue in the other direction when she caught a flash of movement at the very edge of her light. It was too fleeting for any sort of recognition, save that it had appeared to be vaguely humanoid. A shout died immediately on her lips, but she chose the narrow route with no explanation to the squad.

_You've got your entire squad chasing shadows,_ Shepard thought as her pace quickened. _Or a ghost._

Shepard half-expected Miranda to protest and inform her that they were all going in the wrong direction. However the raven-haired woman had been oddly silent for some time. As she pressed forward, she was dimply aware of someone trying to get her attention. As the voice grew louder, she realised it was Tali. At the moment she turned to answer the Quarian's call, the entire tunnel shuddered and lurched. It succeeded in throwing Shepard off-balance so violently that she was slammed against a wall and then to the ground. A loud and deafening rumbled assaulted her ears, making a succession of shouts and cries from her squadmates almost impossible to discern. As she struggled to pick herself up, a solid shape slammed into her, pinning her in place.

Although the tremor lasted for scant seconds in reality, it felt like an eternity. Shouts were quickly silenced by what sounded like a cascade of rock thundering downwards. Shepard could see very little. When dust swirled up to coat her face and dig into her eyeballs, she could see nothing. With each breath she drew in little air and most dust.

As the rumbling subsided, the weight atop her shifted slightly and then uttered a low groan. It took her several seconds to realise that the weight was actually Ashley. The marine had been thrown on top of her.

"Shit, Skipper, are you alright?" Ashley asked as she managed to disentangle their limbs.

Shepard reached up with a gloved hand and scraped the film of dust from her mask. With only a weak light filtering from an unknown source, Ashley was barely silhouetted in front of her. She used Ashley's proffered hand as leverage to stand.

"I guess," Shepard replied.

Following a weak light source, Shepard located her Harrier lying on the ground nearby. The already battered weapon was coated in a thick layer of dust but she did not pause to check whether it still fired. She could already see Ashley assisting an unharmed Miranda to her feet. Tali too appeared to have escaped the collapse unscathed, although she was in the midst of checking her suit readings via her omni-tool.

"Any damage?"

The Quarian looked up. "No ruptures," she said with obvious relief.

A muffled groan of pain drew Shepard's attention. She and Tali traced it to the source to find Javik half-pinned beneath a rockfall. While the trapped Prothean was her immediate concern, Shepard's heart sank like a leaden weight at what was illuminated when Tali passed her light over the tunnel through which they had just passed. The entire shaft was blocked from the roof collapsing downwards. Javik was struggling to free himself as the others moved to his aid.

"I can free myself," Javik said stubbornly.

"We would just leave you there, buddy," Ashley replied curtly. "But then we'd probably have to go through you to get the rest of the squad."

Even as she helped haul several small chunks of rock away from Javik's body, Shepard feared what lay beyond the tightly packed debris in front of her. With a stifled protest of pain, the Prothean was soon freed, although his right arm was noticeably broken. Javik's mouth was set into a grim line, and he insisted on standing even as Tali assessed his injuries.

"You must remain still!" Tali protested in exasperation.

"We need to move, Commander." Javik sought out Shepard directly. "These tunnels are not safe."

"You think?" Ashley snapped angrily.

She soon calmed as Miranda laid a hand on her shoulder. Shepard had to admit that she was only giving voice to the anger they all felt. Her own emotions resembled something akin to panic as she tried to raise her unaccounted squad members on the comm.

"This is Shepard, does anyone copy?" An intense burst of static was the only immediate response. She glared hard at the rock fall as though that would somehow help with the signal. "Liara?" her voice caught slightly, but she forced the fear down. "Vega?"

Another burst of static responded, this time punctuated by a series of pauses and sounds that could have been purposeful. An anxious minute passed before something else followed. _{–der.}_ A non-descript scrap of a word. _{-you.}_

"Can you repeat that? Shepard demanded.

_{Commander, this is Brake. We read you. Lieutenant Vega and Dr T'Soni appear to be okay. Naylor was a few metres in front of me. I think he's trapped.}_

Liara had escaped virtually unharmed, mostly thanks to Vega throwing his considerable bulk across her body. When she swiped the dust from her face, her glove came away with several streaks of blood from a probably head wound. However she could feel nothing, and dismissed it. "Shepard, thank the Goddess you are okay."

"Yeah, we're all here," Shepard replied, the relief evident in her voice.

* * *

 

On the other side of the rock fall, Liara used her light to guide her as she picked her way forward through the rubble. She found Corporal Brake scrabbling desperately through the rock, heedless of any danger to himself.

"Corporal?" she asked.

"He was just in front of me," Brake replied, still digging. "Surely his shields would have protected…"

His voice trailed off. As advanced as shield technology was, a rock fall was vastly different to a hail of gunfire. She and Vega joined in the desperate attempt, but with only their bare hands they could shift very little of the tonnes of rock that had fallen. As she worked, she heard the reassuring sound of Shepard's voice over the comm.

_{Only walking wounded on our side, Javik's arm is broken-}_

{ _Pah! It is perfectly serviceable!}_ the Prothean interrupted.

Ordinarily Liara would have smirked at the indignant protest, but her relief quickly turned to horror as Vega hauled aside the largest rock yet. In doing so, he revealed Naylor's helmet. Shattered by the falling debris, the Corporal's bloody, mangled face was barely recognisable as it was illuminated in the dim light. As inured to grisly scenes as she was, Liara swallowed quickly and pressed the back of her hand against her mouth.

"Fuck," Vega whispered. "Fuck!" The second was much louder, accompanied by his fist pounding against the rock he had just lifted.

"Naylor's dead," Brake informed Shepard, his voice catching with emotion. The two marines had been close friends.

"It does not look as though we will be digging our way through to you anytime soon," Liara said quietly.

Her heart leapt as the rubble shifted suddenly. However, only a few rocks tumbled downwards. They mercifully covered what little they could see of Naylor's corpse. Liara leant heavily against the wall at her back. She was devastated to realise that she would be unable to continue the mission with Shepard.

_{Back-track...rendezvous with Cortez and the shuttle.}_ Shepard's words were distorted through the static. _{As soon as you're able, make contact with Normandy.}_

"Understood," Liara replied after realising that she was now in charge of her small squad. "Good luck, Commander." Before she joined Vega and Naylor in their trudge back towards the LZ, she patched through to a private channel. "Promise me you will be careful…please?"

_{You know me,}_ Shepard replied.

"All too well, Evan," Liara said. "I will see you soon."

_{You will, I promise.}_

* * *

 

Shepard heard a cruel hiss of static in her ear and she knew that Liara had begun her walk back to the shuttle. She turned to regard her squad. Tali had patched up Javik to the best of her abilities, although his arm hung quite uselessly at his side.

"We push forward with our primary goal to find anything related to the Catalyst – same as before," Shepard explained. "Secondary goal is finding a way out."

"I hate to point out the obvious, but what good is finding anything if we can't get the hell out of here?" Ashley pointed out as they started walking.

"Because if we don't find something, then I don't give a fuck whether we get out of here or not," Shepard replied harshly. Her statement wasn't true, but it was a good approximation of how she felt.

With each step that took her further away from the site of the rockfall and further away from Liara, she felt a painful wrench in her gut.

"Bosh'tet!" Tali growled. "No luck contacting the _Normandy_ , Shepard. We're on our own down here."

Shepard had expected as much. She turned to Miranda. "Any idea where this corridor leads?"

Behind her mask, the brunette's usually pale skin was even whiter. She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm not even sure where we are. It almost feels as though I have no memory of this place."

Biting back her obvious frustration, Shepard merely shrugged and continued forward. Her Harrier remained in firing position, trained on every shadow that flickered and danced in front of her. When she saw movement ahead once again she had to resist the temptation to open fire or pursue it as blindly as she had before the tremor. Each step was mindful and firmly placed as she advanced her squad at a brisk walk.

As she followed shadows, Shepard was uncomfortably aware that Liara was no longer with her. Her fear quickly receded when she acknowledged that Liara was undoubtedly in a safer position. By now she would be back at the shuttle with Vega and Brake in tow as opposed to trudging blinding through unstable Prothean ruins.

The first twinges of impatience were beginning to nag Shepard when she saw _him_ again.

Kaidan Alenko stood at the very edge of the beam of light, leaning against a wall in a manner that suggested he had been waiting for her _._

_It,_ she had to remind herself. _Alenko is dead. Whatever this is – it's not him. It's just something fucking with your mind._ For a moment she wondered if the rest of her squad could also see it. However the lack of acknowledgement from Ashley ruled that out. The marine was only a few yards behind her, and she had known Alenko well. _Typical_ , Shepard thought. _I'm the only one losing my mind._

"It took you long enough." It actually spoke as Shepard drew closer. "I feel as if I've been waiting here for an eternity."

Unwilling to appear compromised in front of her squad, Shepard stoically accepted that she was hearing voices and continued moving forward. The Kaidan-thing merely smiled in response and also began walking – although its steps made no sound as they struck the floor. Somehow it managed to match her speed perfectly, it's back remained at the very edge of her light. Shepard followed, choosing the same paths as the figure and ignoring the absurdity of what it was she was actually doing.

"The Cerberus woman has been here before, and yet it is you who lead us as though you have knowledge of the place." The decisiveness of her directions were not lost on the rest of her squad as Javik pointed out. "Do you know where you lead us?"

"Gut instinct," was all Shepard offered by way of explanation.

"What is this 'gut instinct?" Javik sneered, thoroughly unconvinced.

"You do know something though, don't you?" Ashley asked, clearly seeking reassurance.

"Trust me, Ash-"

Shepard winced as a sudden burst of static interrupted her mid-sentence. It continued for several seconds before cutting out as abruptly as it had begun.

"That could have been from anyone, Shepard," Tali spoke before Shepard could even pose the question. "I'll try and clean it up."

"Just interference?" Shepard asked.

"Possibly." Tali sounded doubtful.

"Regardless, there's nothing we can do," Shepard pointed out reluctantly. "Until we find a way out at least."

"Trapped like rats in a maze," the figure ahead pointed out unhelpfully.

Shepard was muttering an angry retort under her breath when a wall suddenly loomed ahead of them, rising out of the darkness to block their path. The Kaidan-thing simply continued walking as though there was no obstruction. It slid through the wall and was gone. Shepard was left staring at the wall like a complete fool.

"It would appear that your gut instincts are a little off," Ashley pointed out, her tone failing to hide her own disappointment.

"Fucking unhelpful little bastard!" Shepard swore audibly. She didn't care that the others could hear her as it was just as believable that she was cursing herself. In all likelihood they would have to backtrack and try another route. Slamming her fist against the offending wall did very little to dispel her anger.

"Precisely the opposite, human," Javik replied to Ashley's comment as he pushed his way past her to stand at Shepard's side. "It appears as though you know something the rest of us do not."

As the rest of the squad looked on in disbelief, Javik extended his palm towards a seemingly unremarkable section of the wall. It was covered in a precise geometric pattern, indistinguishable from the patterns they had been passing for the better part of an hour. He continued manipulating the patterns for several minutes, before he muttered several phrases in Prothean and slammed his fist against the wall.

"Javik?" The hope that Shepard had felt started to ebb.

"The command sequence, it is flawed," the Prothean protested. "The door will not open."

As Javik muttered to himself and Shepard stared forlornly at the supposed door, Miranda pushed past them both. Almost methodically, her fingers began to work across the same patterns as Javik, although in a different sequence. Less than a minute later, something shifted inside the walls around them as some ancient mechanism stirred to life. The slab of stone that had previously blocked their path, protested gratingly with age and disuse as it slowly moved to one side.

"You have got to be shitting me," was Shepard's immediate reaction. "I thought you didn't remember this section, Miranda. If you knew how to open the door, why didn't you-"

"I told you the truth," Miranda replied, seemingly just as surprised as the rest of them. "You know I have a photographic memory. This section did not appear on any scans conducted by Cerberus."

With his eyes narrowed suspiciously, Javik approached Miranda. He seized the brunette by her arm and spun her around to face him. Shepard watched as he pressed his fingers to her temple, attempting to access her consciousness and memories in much the same way as he had accessed her own during their first encounter on Eden Prime.

"Get your hands off her!" Ashley demanded, trying to push past.

Shepard grabbed her friend, restraining her before she could break the contact. "He's not hurting her, Ash."

It was over in a matter of seconds. Miranda sagged back against the wall behind her. With an insistent twist, Ashley freed herself from Shepard's grasp just as Javik drew his Carnifex and levelled it directly at Miranda Lawson's forehead.

"What the hell!" Ashley's response was automatic, reaching for her own weapon.

Shepard stepped between the two of them, concentrating on the Prothean who had drawn his weapon without provocation. "Javik, explain!"

Javik did not lower the pistol. "Commander Shepard, this human needs to die."

Ashley let out a savage yell and tried to push past Shepard so she could get a clear shot at Javik. "Like fucking hell, triangle-head!"

Javik remained calm and continued, "This woman is indoctrinated."

 


	28. The Stale Taste of Victory

**Alcyone, Titan Nebula**

_Indoctrinated?_ Shepard frowned at Javik for a few moments before she turned around to face Miranda Lawson. She half-expected the other woman to suddenly manifest signs of this indoctrination – either in her appearance or through sudden violence as she fought to escape. However Miranda stared back through unchanged eyes. With her slightly parted lips, she appeared just as shocked at the revelation as the rest of the squad.

"He's wrong, Shepard." Ashley shook her head fiercely.

The marine kept her Valkyrie trained on Javik as she stared at him with an intense gaze. Shepard had absolutely no doubt whatsoever as to whether Ashley was capable of opening fire on the Prothean. The tension within the claustrophobic confines of the tunnel was palpable enough to slice with a knife.

"Stand down, LC-"

"You know Miranda!" Ashley continued. She stared directly at Shepard. "She has done nothing but help the war effort, even before she left Cerberus."

"Stand down, marine!" Shepard demanded in a harsh voice. It was rare that she gave orders in such a callous manner, but she could not afford to have her own squad open fire on one another. "You too, Javik."

"Ash," Miranda added quietly. "Shepard gave you an order."

Ashley slowly lowered the rifle, but she kept the stock snug against her shoulder in readiness. She continued to shake her head, albeit slowly. The steely hard glint in her eyes was tempered by the presence of unshed tears. "The woman I love is not Indoctrinated," she hissed softly.

"My entire civilisation was undermined from within," Javik replied unsympathetically. However he did lower his Carnifex. "Fellow soldiers, loved ones, even children. The Reapers use individuals indiscriminately because they can. You would be wise to heed my words and remove this threat from our midst…or our mission will fail."

Throughout the heated debate, Miranda had simply stood silently. When she finally made a move, it was to reach behind her and remove the Hurricane from its holster. She then extended both the SMG and her Carnifex towards Shepard, handles first. Reluctantly, Shepard accepted the weapons, even as Ashley's expression hovered on the verge of someone who had just been betrayed. It was a symbolic gesture – even without weapons, Miranda could cause significant carnage with her biotic or tech powers.

"I will not pass judgement based on one examination," Shepard said. "Javik, are you able to ascertain anything about her motivations, her goals?"

Javik shook his head. "I sensed a presence. It has had some time to deeply ingrain itself into the recesses of this human's mind."

Shepard frowned. "A presence? Is it the Reapers or not?"

The Prothean's reply was straightforward. "It is ancient and powerful, how can it be anything other than Reaper in origin?"

"When it's not!" Ashley pointed out incredulously. "You bastard, you were going to shoot her based on an assumption?"

"No one is doing any shooting!" Shepard was growing increasingly frustrated despite the fact that she could sympathise with Ashley. Had it been Liara in Miranda's position, she would have reacted in much the same fashion. "Javik, I appreciate your insight, but until we understand more about this presence-"

"She is indoctrinated!" Javik interrupted. "What further evidence do you require to prove that she is a weak link in our midst? If your 'human instinct' was enough to lead us this far, then surely mine is enough-"

"I don't condemn people based on gut instinct," Shepard replied, struggling to maintain a veneer of calm.

Shepard was well aware that precious time was being wasted while they stood and argued, however she could see the raw anger in Javik's expression. The Prothean was hovering dangerously close to losing his stoic calm. All four of Javik's eyes seemed to be intent on grinding her into some form of submission. He took a step forward into her personal space, but Shepard refused to back away.

"I slit the throats of my entire squad, Commander Shepard – all good soldiers who were closer than family." His voice grew hard, choked with what Shepard soon realised was raw, powerful emotion.

Shepard felt Javik's 50,000 year old pain. However she already knew that, had their positions been reversed, she would not have been able to act with such single-minded determination. She imagined slitting the throats of her own family – Ashley, Garrus, Tali…Liara – and knew that she would fail. Without saying anything to Javik, she opened one of the pouches on her webbing. Shepard could all too clearly remember the last time she had seen the thin, flexible hand restraints. Alliance soldiers had bound her own wrists upon her return to Earth after the Bahak incident. She did not even need to ask Miranda to present her wrists, her friend held them out wordlessly. Shepard owed it to her to be able to look her in the eye while she restrained her. Miranda met her gaze calmly, without accusation or anger. While Javik merely snorted and turned his back on them - at least he did not mention slitting Miranda's throat again. Ashley's expression remained one of fury and anguish, but she too remained silent. With the restraints fastened, Shepard stepped back. Miranda responded with a simple nod in acknowledgment. They knew each other well enough to render words redundant. _You did the right thing, Shepard._

An uneasy sensation curdled in her stomach as Shepard attempted to turn her attention to the passageway that Miranda had revealed in the moments before Javik levelled his pistol in her face. Had she done the right thing? Did her past history with Miranda render her incapable of making the harsh decision? Miranda had shared more than her bed – thoughts, fears and emotions – to the point where she knew her better than anyone other than Liara. The uneasiness did not pass. Something was not right. Although she had blatantly informed Javik that she did not condemn people based on instinct, those same instincts were telling her that she needed Miranda.

Shepard's torch shone into the space beyond the opening – creating a small splash of light in the midst of the darkness. She could see very little other than that it was a large space. As she stepped over the threshold into the room beyond, she felt an odd, unbidden sense of triumph coursing through her body. Behind her, the narrow shafts of her squad's torches penetrated the room but they too revealed very little. It was almost as if something was swallowing the light. Somewhere behind her she was dimly aware of voices, but they soon faded into the background when she noticed a faint glow ahead. Something in the darkness was emitting its own light. At first she thought it was her own torch, shining off a reflective surface. However when she switched it off altogether, it remained – a dull, blue glow in the distance. Like a moth to a flame, Shepard found herself being drawn forward.

* * *

 

Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams had served under Shepard long enough not to be surprised by her sometimes rash actions – especially in the sorts of unique situations that her squad often found themselves. Coming from a proud, but tarnished military family, Ashley had not expected to find herself serving in such distinguished company. She admired Shepard immensely, but the harrowing moments in the tunnel had caused her to question the extent of her loyalty. Ashley knew, without a doubt, that she would have opened fire on Javik had he attempted to kill Miranda – regardless of Shepard's orders. For a soldier, such a realisation was enough to undermine the very tenets by which she lived.

Ashley desperately wanted a few moments with Miranda. Even a quick whispered conversation would be enough. The sight of her would-be-lover, bound and stripped of her weapons, was enough to ruin any composure she felt. Instead it was Miranda, with her calm expression and quiet resignation, who offered her reassurance.

_Stay frosty, Williams,_ she urged herself. _You've still got Shepard's back. That fucking four-eyed bastard on the other hand…_

She noticed that Shepard had suddenly increased her pace, only moments after switching off her torch.

"Hey, Skipper, don't you think you should slow down a little?" Ashley called out, her voice betraying a slight hint of tension.

Ashley frowned as she stepped into the room, still some distance behind Shepard. The Commander made no attempt to respond to her question. Before progressing further herself, she turned to check that Miranda was directly behind her. Bound as she was, Miranda offered a reassuring nod, with enough warmth on her lips to make Ashley suddenly realise just how much she wanted to kiss her again. Ashley cursed her inappropriate timing and signalled the rest of the squad to move forward. She ignored the rather indignant snort from the alien, assuming that he felt as though he should lead the squad in the absence of commands from Shepard. Last remaining Prothean or not, he was a complete ass.

"What is that?" Miranda asked in a whisper.

Ashley merely shook her head in response to the question. She soon realised why Shepard had switched her light off. It was difficult to make out what was ahead of them in the glare of the light from her own rifle. She tilted her Valkyrie downwards although kept the stock snug against her shoulder in readiness. At a distance, the glow was a formless whole with no details to speak off. It was simply there – giving off a dull blue light that was insufficient to penetrate the darkness around it.

"She's going to touch it, isn't she?" Ashley muttered, increasingly her pace as Shepard neared the source of the light. "Dammit, why does she always have to touch everything?" A warning died on her lips when she saw Shepard suddenly pitch forward a few steps of her goal. She heard the dull thud as the Commander hit the ground in a crumpled heap. "Shepard!"

Her cautious approach was cast aside as she sprinted the distance. Without even giving the light source a glance, Ashley dropped straight to her knees beside Shepard. The Commander's face was deathly pale and her lips were an ugly shade of blue. Her omni-tool had flared to life and was broadcasting a number of readings all with the frenetic pace of something that was meant to be taken seriously. Ashley needed none of them to tell her that Shepard was not breathing.

"Shit." Before blind panic could set in, she sought out Tali. "The Skipper isn't breathing."

Instead of bringing up her own omni-tool, the level-headed Quarian grabbed Shepard's arm as she knelt. She began typing with one hand whilst holding her arm with the other. "She's gone into some sort of shock. Attempting to -"

Tali was interrupted mid-sentence by another tremor. This one was less intense than the first, although it dislodged smaller rocks and a great deal of fine dust particles from the ceiling. Ashley instinctively lowered her body over Shepard's as soon as it struck. When it passed, she straightened and looked down to see Shepard staring up at her.

"Skipper?"

Shepard's eyes were wide open, but there was no comprehension behind them. A quick glance at her omni-tool confirmed that her vitals had been restored to normal, but there were no physical responses. It was as though the Commander's mind was somewhere else.

"We can't stay here," Ashley said to no one in particular. She wanted to move in order to avert the panic she knew was starting to creep in. "Tali, help me with Shepard."

"What about this…thing?" Javik asked.

Ashley had not even bothered to look at the glowing object. She gave it a brief glance to see that it was a reasonably small polyhedron on a rough pedestal, probably octagonal but the details weren't important. Although the glow from within was dull, studying it for even a few moments hurt her eyes. All she was interested in was whether it was portable.

"You don't know what it is?" Ashley demanded coldly.

"Is it not Prothean," Javik replied indignantly.

"We're taking it with us. Dammit, if only we had a stasis container or something to-" The sentence died on Ashley's lips as Javik simply reached out and picked up the glowing object with his unwounded arm. Other than a slight flicker from within, there was no adverse reaction. "Or you could just do that."

Tali collected Shepard's Harrier, holstering it on her own back, above her Wraith shotgun. She then helped Ashley heave Shepard's dead weight up between them.

"Which way?" Miranda asked – being the only one that was not burdened by carrying anything, she looked to take point even though she was defenceless with her hands still bound.

_Shit, I hadn't got that far,_ Ashley thought, realising the obvious limitation of her plan. As she shifted her grip on Shepard, she noticed one of the patterns on a nearby wall was glowing slightly. She watched as the light slowly began to glide across the wall, keeping within the groove of the pattern as it moved towards the opposite end of the room. _Heaven help us, I'm really going to do this_. "That way," Ashley said, trying to inject an element of certainty into her voice. _You've really lost it now, Williams, following a little blue light God knows where._

With Shepard's feet dragging along the ground between them, her and Tali began walking after Miranda. If Miranda had any reservations about following the light, she did not let it show as she led the way.

As a dead weight, Shepard was extremely heavy. Ashley shifted her grip yet again, although nothing would take away the ache in her shoulders. She had not stopped to check the progression of time, but her rough estimate was that they had been following the light for more than half an hour. Given that it was essentially leading them somewhere, Ashley was reassured that the glowing portion of the wall was not a random occurrence. However the light did not follow one continuous path. Almost playfully, it leapt from one side of the tunnel to the other, sometimes it shrank to a mere dot and at others grew until it covered a swath that lit their path into the distance. The only consistent feature was its lack of consistency. With Javik bringing up the rear, Ashley had to crane her neck backwards to check that the Prothean was still there. She could hear little over her own laboured breathing. He carried the object they'd found under his arm, seemingly unaffected by it.

"We should take five," Tali suggested after Ashley stumbled for the second time in the space of a minute.

"No." Ashley shook her head stubbornly. "The squad's not stopping until we're out of these damned tunnels. And the sooner we can get Shepard back to the _Normandy_ and the doc, the better."

"You're exhausted," Tali pointed out.

Another stubborn refusal followed - this time in the form of a grunt. "Shepard carried my ass off Mars."

"You're not as heavy as Shepard," Tali replied, trying to inject a little levity into a bleak situation.

Ashley actually smirked. They both knew it wasn't true. Shepard was both shorter and slighter – especially with the amount of weight she had lost since the Reaper invasion. Ahead of them, Miranda stopped walking and effectively blocked the way ahead – her gentle insistence that they rest. Ashley allowed herself a moment's pause, but did not let Shepard's weight fall. Instead she stared at the woman in front of her. Miranda was still unperturbed by her situation.

It was at that moment that she was acutely aware of just how damn ridiculous it was to try and take a relationship slowly in the midst of a war. Since their first encounter on the Citadel when Ashley had merely tried to help her for Shepard's sake, Miranda had shamelessly flirted with her, Ashley had been surprised and unnerved by her own emotional reaction. Miranda's passion was evident, but her own had remained pent up and stifled by her fear.

"When we get out of this," Ashley kept her voice to a whisper. "No more going slow."

"I'm not going to hold you to any promises you make down here," Miranda replied in a hoarse voice. The uncertainty of her fate was left unspoken.

"Don't be chivalrous, Lawson. It's not your style."

"It's not, but-"

"I'm going to vomit."

Both Ashley and Tali almost let go of Shepard when suddenly spoke and interrupted the quiet conversation. Already some of the weight was gone from their shoulders as Shepard tried to support herself by standing on unsteady legs.

"Are you alright?" Ashley asked.

"No…I'm really going to vomit," Shepard gasped.

* * *

 

Shepard shrugged out of their grip and dropped hard to her hands and knees on the ground. There was nothing the rest of the squad could do as her entire body heaved and wretched. The wretched meal she had eaten on board the shuttle prior to the mission now emerged as a thin, pale stream of liquid. It splashed against the ground and ran in rivulets along the grooves in the Prothean designs. Even long after the last of the meal was expelled, her body continued to heave. Shepard felt as though she was struggling to rid herself of something other than the contents of her stomach. Finally the shudders subsided and she was able to draw in breaths that weren't hacking gasps for air. She slowly rolled over onto her back and lay staring up at the shadowy figures overhead. Commander Shepard, hero of the Citadel and scourge of the Reapers, lay next to her own vomit - flecks of it coating her lips and face. A few moments later, someone reached down and eased her gently into a sitting position. A canteen was pressed towards her lips. Shepard reached up and took it in her own hand. The canteen rattled against her teeth as the hand holding it trembled. Some of the cool liquid sloshed down her chin before she lowered it.

"What the hell happened?" she murmured – her head was an aching throbbing mess.

"You were walking towards some glowing light, and then you collapsed and stopped breathing," Ashley explained. "Gave us all one hell of a scare."

"No more so than I gave myself," Shepard added. She passed the canteen back to Ashley with a nod of thanks. Her memories were slowly coming back, although with large chunks missing. She remembered the argument with Javik and her struggled for breath as she was drawn towards the light. _The light_ …"The Catalyst – tell me we've got it?"

"You mean that thing that Javik's carrying?" Ashley asked incredulously. "That actually is the Catalyst?"

Shepard glanced up, seeing the container – it continued to glow, almost pulsing with a sort of beat as she stared at it. She eventually looked away as it began to hurt her eyes. "I don't know how the hell I know, but yeah, it is." Javik started to move forward, but Shepard doubled over and clutched at her chest. She held up her other hand for him to stop. "Keep it away from me…" Her breathing relaxed as Javik took a few steps back. She nodded. "At least for now."

Miranda had hunkered down beside her, hands still bound. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Why?" Shepard asked. She suddenly felt angry that Miranda was seemingly unable to provide them with any answers despite the fact that she possessed some sort of link with the ruins. "Do you know something I don't?"

"If I did, I would have told you already," she replied, some hints of frustration creeping into her tone. "I don't know any more than you do."

_You're wrong_ , Shepard thought. _Both of us know more than we think._

There would be time to press Miranda further once they were safely back on-board the Normandy with the Catalyst. While she wasn't going to go as far as to let the word 'torture' creep into her thoughts, she was determined to discover what the ex-Cerberus operative was hiding – regardless of whether or not she was consciously doing it. While she was reluctant to assign the task over to Javik, she knew she could trust Liara to try and discern the truth.

"So does anyone know how the hell we get out of here?" Shepard looked at each of her squad members in turn and found a series of awkward expressions. She presumed that since they had actually moved from the room in which she had collapsed that someone had taken charge and decided on a route out of the tunnels.

"We don't," Ashley eventually replied. She then nodded towards a glowing portion of the wall. "But that thing does. For lack of any better options, we've been following it."

Shepard raised her eyebrows - very little surprised her at that juncture. A dead man had led her to the Catalyst and now a strange glowing light was leading them out of the ruins. Of course it made sense. The fact that it had stopped moving alongside them hinted at some form of sentience or awareness. This was further confirmed when it pulsed several times – almost impatiently. Moments later it suddenly began moving along the tunnel and it was all they could do to pick themselves up and follow it.

It seemed improbable that anyone had ever actually been pleased to see Alcyone's blasted sky. However Shepard could not resist a sigh of relief when she caught the first glimpse of dull, grey daylight. When she sought out the glowing light that had led them to the surface, it was nowhere to be seen. The squad eventually emerged into a sunken courtyard, obviously some distance from their original entry point.

Shepard felt a sense of urgency as she attempted to hail Cortez. Her first priority was to secure the Catalyst aboard the _Normandy_. At that moment in time, the single most important object in the galaxy was being carried by a Prothean with one good arm and defended by a squad of four – one was in restraints and another probably still had vomit on her face.

"Cortez, this is Shepard." An unnerving silence was her only answer. "Lieutenant, we need an immediate evac."

_{Commander…}_ The reply was cut short by a burst of static and the rest was almost impossible to make out. _{…position. ETA, five min-}_

"Copy that, Cortez," Shepard replied. "Are the rest of the squad on-board?"

_{….squad…}_ A further several seconds of hissing and scratching followed. _{…on-board.}_

The communication then disintegrated into a series of grating hisses and beeps. Secure at least in the knowledge that the shuttle was en route, Shepard scanned their immediate environs. The surrounding surface ruins, foundations of once massive buildings, appeared to provide adequate enough protection while they waited. The squad barely had the chance to move out of the courtyard towards higher ground when the screech of small craft overheard caused them all to look skywards. The marines amongst them already knew by sound alone that the shuttles were not Alliance Kodiaks.

"Cover!"

Shepard's yell was drowned out, but it was hardly necessary. Her squad were already scrambling for cover out of the courtyard when a trio of Cerberus shuttles came in low overhead. With a current of anger running through her body, Shepard threw herself down next to Javik. Although she could feel her body subtly reacting to the presence of the Catalyst, there was no way in hell that she was going to see it fall into Cerberus' hands. They would have to pry it from beneath her still warm corpse.

The jagged ruins offered adequate protection as Shepard found a firing position. She shouldered her Harrier and delivered an entire clip in the direction of the troops rappelling from the nearest shuttle. The first squad was caught in a withering hail of gunfire as the shuttles made a mistake coming in too close to their ground positions. Those that did manage to touch down on the surface were too busy writhing in agony as Tali incinerated their armour.

Miranda was crouched into cover beside Ashley. The frustration of not being able to fight back was clearly evident on her face. Shepard had absolutely no hesitation when she yelled over the gunfire and ordered Ashley to cut her loose. The LC flashed a grateful look before slicing Miranda's bonds with her knife. Shepard then tossed Miranda's Carnifex back to her. If Javik objected to her decision, he did not express it. He continued to cast Dark Channel and Slam onto the Cerberus troopers, his movements sluggish with his injured arm. When Miranda began detonating his casts with Warp, he did not acknowledge her other than to continue casting. The human and Prothean worked as an effective combination despite the undercurrents of suspicion.

As Shepard slammed a fresh clip into her Harrier, the brief pause gave her a moment to pay attention to her own body. She felt inexplicably strange. Her heart was hammering inside her chest as was usual during combat, but it was its relentless beat that was unusual. Thump, thump, thump – each beat of her heart was precise and insistent. Every action was subsequently mapped out against the soundtrack of her heartbeat - from the almost gentle patter of her Harrier, recoiling slightly with each burst, to the shouts of her squadmates around her. Time seemed to be passing at half-speed. Shepard found herself with the time to react – to line up her shots with brutal precision and pre-empt any attempts to flank their position. When Ashley drilled a trooper through the head with a single shot from her Black Widow, Shepard saw his head explode in grisly detail. Her gaze lingered on the bloody stump of his neck as his body flopped forward.

It was against this almost surreal backdrop that Shepard saw an agile figure leap from the third shuttle. Recognition dawned instantly, even before the figure executed a somersault mid-drop. Kai Leng hit Alcyone's surface and almost immediately used his shield technology to vanish – perfectly blended against the surrounding terrain. With her teeth grinding audibly, Shepard scanned for the tell-tale distortion created by the shield – a rippling effect as the figure moved across the battlefield. The Cerberus assassin's skill was evident in the way he moved. He allowed her only a tantalising glimpse as he neared their position. Nevertheless, Shepard tracked his movement right up until he de-cloaked several metres in front of her. She squeezed off a few bursts of carefully directed fire so Kai Leng was well aware that she was watching him. A mocking laugh hovered in the air, scattered amidst weapons fire. Enough of it reached Shepard's ears for her to scowl in response. She hated Kai Leng and everything he stood for, or rather, did not stand for. Even before he stole the Prothean V.I, he'd made a mockery of the N7 programme. Shepard herself did not hold discipline in high regard, but she was undeniably proud and defensive of the status of the coveted designation. With a lump of hatred sitting in her throat, Shepard ignored the rank and file Cerberus troopers to focus on Kai Leng. Although she was loathe to leave the Catalyst, she knew that she had to take a calculated risk. The rest of her squad could tear ribbons through the faceless troopers, Kai Leng posed the most dangerous threat. For all her respect of her friends and squadmates, this was her fight. There was just the small problem of avoiding becoming a piece of meat skewered on the end of his sword. _Who the fuck carries a goddamn sword anyway?_

It was his arrogance that gave him away. He broke his cloak less than three metres from her – the 'goddamn' sword clutched in his fist.

"We meet again, Shepard," he said in his slow, deliberate voice. Even as he spoke, he continued to move forward.

Even if she had a quip ready in reply, Shepard did not have time to respond as Kai Leng suddenly launched himself forward. His leap was followed by an immediate strike. He brought his sword down in a lazy arc towards her body.

Effortlessly, Shepard stepped to one side to avoid the swing. Her next counter saw her flow into a roll as she dived beneath a slash aimed to sever her in two. _He's toying with me,_ Shepard thought as she listened for the tell-tale sound of boots on loose rock. _In close combat, he believes I'm no match for him._ Whether there was a grain of truth in the assumption or not, Shepard had no intention of dying on Alcyone's wasted surface – especially not with the Catalyst in Alliance possession. When she emerged from her roll, she sprang lightly into a kneeling position and unloaded half a clip towards Kai Leng. Several shots struck his shields, but even more scattered across the terrain as he danced away. As she fought her elusive opponent, Shepard tried not to allow frustration to cloud her actions. She reacted calmly, with far more composure than she had displayed down in the tunnels. The acidic taste of vomit was pushed to the back of her mind, for once she did not feel fatigue seeping throughout her battered body. If it were somehow possible, she felt energised – as though she had slept for several hours and eaten a decent meal.

For all her sudden vigour, fighting Kai Leng single-handedly was testing every element of Shepard's N7 training. Both had the benefit of the same training – Kai Leng had his cybernetic implants and Shepard had her desperation. If she failed, then it was most likely that the Catalyst would fall into Cerberus' grasp.

A harsh grunt was her only acknowledgement that she was pushing her body to its limit when she fell to the ground for a fourth or fifth time. It was a controlled fall, designed to make it seem as though she was constantly fighting on the defensive. The ruse was easy enough to create. Whether it was due to his 'upgrades' or inherent ability, Kai Leng was faster. Shepard managed to avoid his sword by no more than a hairsbreadth several times. She kept herself in the fight through a combination of skill and sheer desperation. Half a dozen of her strikes had made it through his defences – mostly her gloved fist colliding with his armour. Once, she'd managed to sweep his legs out from beneath him, but he'd twisted away at the moment that her Harrier fired. The remainder of her clip spattered harmlessly against the ground before Shepard was forced to use the assault rifle to block Kai Leng's sword. There was no time for mourning as the blade slide straight into the weapon. In the split second that the sword was lodged in the heart of the rifle, Shepard used it as leverage to twist it out of his grip. Momentum took both the Harrier and the sword, sending them spinning through the air before falling to the ground several metres away. Shepard was on Kai Leng before he could recover, pummelling her fist into his face. His nose was smashed and bloody before he was able to shake her off. Without his sword, Kai Leng resorted to his feet and fists – he was equally as adept at using both. The first kick caught her squarely across the chest and sent her spinning to the ground. As she recovered, another caught her beneath her belly. Shepard couldn't suppress a grunt of pain. She tried to twist away from the third kick, a mere blur out of the corner of her eye. It caught her a glancing blow against her jaw. Dazed, Shepard struggled just to lever herself up onto her hands and knees. The salty tang of blood filled her mouth from where her own teeth had cut into the inside of her cheek.

"Is that really all you've got?" Kai Leng sneered, watching her futile attempts to stand. When she lifted head to look up at him, he slammed his fist downwards and drove her face into the rocks. "I expected more from the great Commander Shepard. You're nothing more than a fragile woman – weak and pathetic like the rest of your sex."

"You obviously…don't like women very much," Shepard said, pausing to spit out a gob of blood and saliva.

"They have their uses." Kai Leng smirked as he spoke.

She could hear his boots crunching the gravel as he stalked her. He was purely toying with her now, Shepard knew that much. At any moment he could retrieve his sword and gut her. From the sounds of gunfire in the background, partially dulled by her ringing ears, Shepard knew that at least some of her squad were still fighting. She eased a jagged stone into her fist, fingers closing around it. She would have driven it towards his smug face had she not already known that he would see the strike coming. The stone fell from her grasp and Shepard rolled over onto her back so she could look Kai Leng in the eye. He circled her like a panther, edging his way over to where his sword lay entwined with her Harrier. As he moved, Shepard dragged herself back onto her elbows. From there, she used a nearby rock to pull herself back to standing. She wavered, but remained upright. Kai Leng kept his eyes on her as he stooped to pick up both weapons. He shattered the remnants of the Harrier over his thigh before tossing them to one side.

"I can't let you walk away from this planet," Shepard said fiercely. _Not with my life and certainly not with the Catalyst._

Kai Leng snorted. "What are you going to do? Spit blood at me?"

"No," Shepard whispered hoarsely.

The world suddenly folded in around her as though bending to her will. Shepard's own biotic field propelled her across the short distance. Kai Leng did not even have time to manage a surprised expression before she buried her omni-blade in the middle of his chest. The surprised expression came later, in the brief seconds in which he struggled to fathom what had just happened.

"You're not…" Blood bubbled from his lips.

"A biotic?" Shepard had never enjoyed watching people die, but she found this particular moment oddly satisfying. "No, I'm not."

Shepard gave the blade a savage twist, it resulted in an awful sucking sound within Kai Leng's chest. Only then did she retract it and let Kai Leng fall. He wasn't quite dead when he hit the ground, but his body ceased twitching a few seconds later.

Judging by the bodies that littered the ground, much of the Cerberus force that had accompanied Kai Leng had been taken out. Several isolated pockets continued to return fire, but it was mostly ineffective. Ashley was efficiently dispatching any troopers that dared show their heads above cover. Shepard was relieved to find the Catalyst still safely within Javik's grasp. The only casualty appeared to be Tali. The Quarian was slumped behind cover, clutching at her side. Her Wraith shotgun lay on the ground beside her.

The Quarian waved aside Shepard's offer of help. "It's nothing, just a small suit rupture."

"We'll get you back to Garrus," Shepard promised. "Otherwise he'll calibrate my sorry hide."

"Shut up and shoot something, Shepard," Tali muttered.

With her beloved Harrier lying in pieces near Kai Leng's corpse, Shepard reached for the N7 Hurricane she had earlier taken from Miranda. Shepard accepted a couple of spare clips from Tali and turned her attention to the Cerberus troops who were still trying to press forward despite Kai Leng's death. The SMG was far lighter than her Harrier. It felt strange in her grip as she returned fire. The stability dampener compensated for some of the recoil, but it was awkward to use in place of an assault rifle.

Moments later, the drone of an incoming shuttle sounded overheard. Shepard did not need to look up to know that it was a lone Kodiak. As Cortez swooped down overhead, he brought the shuttle down in between his comrades and the attacking Cerberus troops. The Kodiak's kinetic barriers kicked in as small arms fire was directed towards it. With one arm wrapped around Tali, Shepard made a run for the shuttle's open door. Miranda and Ashley flanked Javik, continuing to return fire as they ran. Ashley was the last aboard, falling onto the deck amidst a hail of gunfire. Shepard slammed the door closed.

"Get us out of here, Lieutenant!" she yelled.

They were still being fired at as Cortez lifted off above the Cerberus positions. The Kodiak's thrusters clawed for altitude as it rose. With the adrenaline of the dash subsiding, Shepard scanned the interior of the shuttle. It took her all of a split second to realise that something was terribly wrong.

"Cortez, where the hell are the rest of the squad?" Shepard held onto the back of the pilot's chair.

The pilot looked over his shoulder. The surprise was evident on his face as he realised that several of their number were missing. "They're not with you?"

"Do you see Vega or Liara?" Shepard demanded angrily. "The squad was separated, Naylor was killed and the others were heading straight back to the LZ. It should have taken them thirty minutes."

"No they didn't." Cortez looked stricken. "Your evac request was all that came over the comm, Commander. They never made it back to the LZ."

"Take us back down," Shepard ordered. "Towards the LZ. Now!"

"Shepard, it'll probably be crawling with Cerberus down there," Ashley warned, although she was already restocking her webbing with fresh thermal clips.

"Yeah, I know," Shepard said grimly. She handed the Hurricane back to Miranda and selected a Mattock from the small arms chest on board the Kodiak. Not taking any chances, she grabbed a Carnifex and several grenades in addition. "But even if every Cerberus trooper in the galaxy were down there, I'd still go." _Liara, where the hell are you?_

As the Kodiak dropped back down low to the ground, Shepard yanked open the door. She ignored the buffeting turbulence as she scanned the terrain. She could see no sign of Cerberus at present, although she knew to anticipate that they would not be far behind. After a few minutes, Shepard picked out their original entry point into the ruins by the distinctive rocky outcrops. Flashes of colour caught her eye. She signalled urgently to Cortez to take them down.

Before the shuttle's landing gear had even come into contact with the surface, Shepard leapt out. She kept her Mattock jammed against her shoulder, but the speed of her run was for haste rather than caution. Near the burnt out Cerberus turrets, she caught a flash of Alliance blue. It was unmistakably body armour. As Shepard neared, she saw a body lying on its back. A Mattock lay nearby. The soldier's face was blackened with burns and would have been unrecognisable except that Shepard knew who it was by his build. The man was far too slight to be Vega, it was Corporal Brake.

"Ash, check him," she ordered harshly, pressing forward with barely a glance in the marine's direction.

Vega was lay several metres away. He was surrounded by at least four corpses – Cerberus troopers and one Centurion. The burly marine was also on his back, but his eyes were staring up at her as she approached – his vision glazed but aware. _Shit._ Vega's entire torso was practically torn apart. Most of his chestplate was missing, revealing an array of gut-wrenching wounds that would have left most men dead instantly. Shepard dropped to her knees at Vega's side and fumbled for the emergency medi-gel in her webbing. Her hands were shaking as she wrenched it open.

"Hey, James," Shepard said in a level voice. _Shit, where do I even start?_ She could see several arteries pulsing weakly in front of her, spilling too much precious life blood. The rocks beneath him were already coated in a sticky mess. "We're going to get you out of here."

"Save…the bullshit," Vega whispered.

Shepard ignored him despite the fact that she would have said the same thing. She gamely applied the medi-gel, hoping somehow the life-saving salve would be enough to keep him alive until they could get him to _Normandy's_ medbay and the expert attentions of Dr Chakwas. The first application seemed to stem the flow of blood. Beneath her, Vega gritted his teeth in pain at the contact. Where others would have been screaming, all that emerged was a steely hiss between his clenched teeth.

"What happened?" Shepard asked, ripping open another packet of gel with her teeth.

Vega's breath rattled from his lips. "Cerberus…jumped us - barely out of the tunnel. Couldn't contact…shuttle."

Shepard applied the second packet of medi-gel. Behind her she heard footsteps and, in the distance, more shuttle craft.

"Incoming, Skipper!" Ashley yelled as she dropped down next to Shepard. "Brake's dead. We need to be gone."

Shepard scanned their surroundings, feeling a sense of overwhelming helpless start to form in her gut when all she could see were dead Cerberus soldiers. The one body that she did not want to see, was not there. "Ash, help me with James."

"Fuck off…leave," Vega protested feebly, he swatted at Shepard with a wave of his arm. "Blue…"

"Liara?" Shepard asked. She and Ashley were ignoring the Lieutenant's protests as they picked him up. She knew Vega needed to stay calm and quiet, but her concern for Liara drove her to keep him talking. "Is Liara dead?" The question left the foulest taste in her mouth and her legs nearly gave out beneath her.

"No…Blue's gone. Another asari, I saw them take her…" Vega's voice had faded to a whisper.

_Aegir!_ Fighting back the urge to scream, Shepard hauled Vega up beneath his arms as Ashley grabbed his legs. Together the two marines carried their wounded comrade to the shuttle. Even as they ran, more Cerberus shuttles were dropping out of the sky. This time they were joined by fighters, incoming fire rocked the unarmed Kodiak. Tali and Miranda helped haul Vega through the door. It was still open as Cortez took off, leaving Shepard to survey the scene as they fled. No sooner had she slammed it shut, she turned her attention back to Vega. Ashley was staring up at her and shook her head slowly. Vega's eyes were still open, but he no longer saw anything through them. Blood continued to pool out across the floor of the shuttle, as if to scorn Shepard's efforts to stem the flow. Shepard sank to her knees whilst staring at the Lieutenant's corpse. She was grateful when Ashley reached across and gently closed his eyes. Shepard then sank back against the bulkhead behind her and closed her own eyes.

_Blue's gone._

She was dimly aware of Tali speaking to her, but she purposefully ignored the Quarian as she let Vega's last words consume her.

_I saw them take her…_

Kai Leng was dead.

The Catalyst was in Alliance hands.

They were supposed to have won.

Cerberus had Liara.

It was the worst tasting victory Shepard had ever experienced.

 


	29. Touch of the Demon

**A/N:** A small warning that this chapter contains a brief description of non-consensual sex – it's not graphic, but I wanted everyone forewarned in case it's triggering.

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

With blood pounding in an incessant crescendo between her ears, Shepard stormed out of the elevator to the deck of the _Normandy's_ CIC. She did not stop to consider the demoralising sight that she presented to her crew. Their Commanding Officer - still wearing armour that was filthy with dust and Vega's blood - was only a second away from losing control. When Traynor turned to see Shepard, Ashley, and Miranda leaving the elevator, her face took on a distinct 'deer in the headlights' expression. It worsened considerably when Shepard marched straight up to her console.

"I need you to track every Cerberus vessel trying to leave this system," Shepard demanded. Without waiting for Traynor's response, she stepped up to the platform that overlooked the galaxy map. Her gloved hands gripped the rail as she stared down at it with hard eyes. _Where the fuck are you going to run to, Aegir?_

"Commander, none of the Cerberus ships are leaving the system. They're all still here!" Traynor protested.

The Specialist's words were punctuated by a colossal shockwave resounding throughout the CIC. The deck beneath their feet shook violently and Shepard was almost knocked from her platform. Behind her, Ashley and Miranda were thrown several metres across the deck until their slide was halted when they crashed into a bulkhead.

_{Ah…Shepard?}_ It was Joker's voice over the comm. _{In case you haven't realised, the_ Normandy _is under attack.}_

"How many ships?" Shepard demanded.

"Um…all of them I think!" Traynor replied in a slightly panicked voice. She drew in a breath to calm herself. "My count has it at nine – one cruiser and eight second rate vessels. There are also dozens of fighters all converging on our position. We've slipped back into stealth mode, but we cannot remain in this system for much longer. They've got us locked in a targeting pattern."

_{We need to be gone five minutes ago!}_ Joker added urgently. He threw the _Normandy_ into a series of desperate manoeuvres to shake off the Cerberus weapons attempting to target the cloaked ship. Several more shockwaves rattling throughout the superstructure of the CIC indicated that his efforts were not entirely successful.

_{Commander, the_ Normandy's _shields have fallen below fifty percent,}_ EDI informed them calmly. _{Another direct hit from the cannons of the Cerberus cruiser will potentially disable vital systems.}_

Shepard could see warning lights lighting up just about every console in the CIC. Just behind her, Traynor was dutifully giving her updates but she blocked her voice out as best she could to give herself some time to think. However, even when she closed her eyes, Shepard could still see lights flashing. She could still hear everyone trying to get her attention. EDI was delivering system updates – each more critical than the one before it. Joker was desperately demanding his next orders. The cacophony was intense. It was all made even more so by the gut-wrenching decision that Shepard had to make. Her gloved fingers tightened on the handrail in front of her. She wished for a moment that she was strong enough to tear it from its mountings and hurl it across the room – just to have some means of venting her rage.

_You're the Commanding Officer of an Alliance frigate. You have in your possession the probable key to defeating the Reapers,_ Shepard told herself whilst desperately wanting to scream aloud. _And you know exactly what Liara would want you to do._

"Get us out of here, Joker." Shepard had to force the words out through her clenched teeth. "The fastest course back to Alliance-controlled space."

Joker's response was swift and relieved, _{Aye, aye, Commander.}_

As was her place, Shepard remained on the CIC until Joker had brought the _Normandy_ safely through the encroaching Cerberus ships and into the approach trajectory for the Mass Relay. Right up until the moment that the tendrils of eezo at the Relay's core darted out to embrace the ship, Shepard had the order to turn the ship around poised on the tip of her tongue. Then they entered the corridor, and her final decision was rendered coldly absolute. She lowered her head, choosing that moment to remember something Liara had said to her in the wake of the fight against the Shadow Broker.

_"But what is certain is that you will always choose the greater good over yourself," Liara had said sadly. "You'll never leave a crewmember behind, even if it means your own death."_

  _You were wrong, Liara. I left Kaidan to die on Virmire. And now I'm leaving you._

With the finality of her own thoughts echoing in her head, Shepard knew she needed to either find something to occupy herself with, or give into her overwhelming grief. When she left the galaxy map platform, she found Ashley and Miranda both looking at her expectantly. It was apparent that neither woman knew what to say in the situation. Shepard straightened her back and tilted her chin upwards. She'd fought and clawed her way to the brink of the war's turning point, she was determined not to let herself fall to pieces.

"Is the Catalyst secure?" Shepard asked.

Ashley nodded and replied in a tight voice, "Already done, skipper. I heard Javik refuse to go to the medbay until it was secured in one of the cargo bays. There's a marine detail on it."

"See that it's doubled," Shepard said automatically. She saw Miranda take a sudden step towards her. The movement wasn't threatening, but the ex-operative was clearly agitated. "Miranda?"

"Aren't you going to take a closer examination?" she asked – her tone was not demanding, just slightly earnest. "It's the Catalyst."

Shepard was unable to fathom the odd emotions that were playing out across Miranda's face. She shook her head. After what had happened to her in its presence, she wasn't about to go near it again. "No, we just found the bloody thing. I'll leave the rest to the Alliance boffins."

Miranda stepped forward again, moving into Shepard's personal space. "You need to look at-"

"That's my final decision!" Shepard interrupted firmly. She looked away from Miranda and refused to meet her gaze again. Instead she turned her attention to Ashley. "Williams, I'm placing Lawson in your charge. Don't let her out of your sight. I trust you will be capable of assigning an adequate support detail to back yourself up?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ashley replied succinctly.

Shepard regarded that as the end of their conversation. However, neither Ashley nor Miranda seemed to be in any hurry to leave the CIC. "What?" she demanded.

"Skipper…" Ashley began. "What are you going to do?"

"Are you giving the orders now, LC?" Shepard bristled.

Ashley was taken aback. "No, ma'am, I just-"

"Then leave me the hell alone, before I change my mind and find both chains and a cell for your girlfriend."

Shepard's harsh tone succeeded in shocking both Ashley and Miranda into silence. Without any further protests, the two women left the CIC. Miranda risked a glance over her shoulder, but Ashley did not look back. Shepard was left standing alone until she heard a quiet but determined voice behind her.

"Commander, the _Normandy's_ systems are stable," Traynor informed her in a precise tone.

The entire CIC was spinning around her. Shepard desperately needed to find something to hold onto, but the console was several steps away. She could not reach it without making it obvious that something was wrong. She wondered if she closed her eyes for a moment, whether she would be able to clear her head.

" _I'm a soldier, Liara, and that's what soldiers do! They die!" Shepard's anger was threaded throughout her words. "The mission comes first...it has to come first, and sometimes that means not coming back."_

Instead she managed to dredge up another memory of the awful conversation she had shared with Liara. They were some of the brutal words that had driven them apart. Shepard was struck by the truth in what she had said, but she had never intended that it apply to Liara. For all her biotic talent and proficiency with weapons, Liara would never be a soldier.

"I always thought it would be me not coming back," Shepard whispered. "Not her."

"Commander?"

Shepard had almost forgotten the fact that Traynor was still standing next to her. She opened her eyes and looked at the Specialist. It was difficult to retain her temper when faced with such an earnest expression, that and the fact that her anger was rapidly fading anyway.

Unfortunately it was replaced by an emotion that she had earlier refused to allow any sort of hold over her. Painful tears burned in her eyes. Where she had straightened her body defiantly a few minutes earlier, she now felt herself sag beneath the weight of what had happened. When she saw Traynor take a step forward with her arm extended, Shepard reacted quickly.

"I'll be in my quarters, Traynor," Shepard informed the Specialist as she stepped backwards – away from any potential comforting touch. _Just a few moments longer – hold it together._ "Use your discretion if anything requires my attention."

"Yes, ma'am," Traynor replied reluctantly.

Only once she was securely within the bulkheads of the Nest, did Shepard allow the last vestiges of control to slip away. However, even with everything unbound, all she could do was stand just beyond the threshold and stare in a dull sort of shock at nothing in particular. When the emotion finally came, it was a torrent of grief and anger. The tears mingled with the hoarse cries of frustration and all the unidentifiable sounds in between. When she took several stumbling steps forward, she saw a flash of colour emerge from the weeds in her fish tank. Angry that anything would dare to be so bright and carefree in the midst of so much despair, Shepard slammed her gloved fist against the tank. Horatio immediately fled to the shadows at the back of the tank.

As she stumbled down the steps, Shepard inadvertently looked ahead to the bed. The bedding was still scatted and rumpled, stark evidence of the precious time she had spent with Liara several hours earlier. Perhaps traces of her would linger – her scent on the sheets, a shallow impression where her warm body had slept. Shepard had thoughts of throwing herself down on the bed when she looked down at herself. She was still wearing her body armour, complete with Vega's half-dried blood and a few flecks of vomit amidst the dirt. It felt heavy and claustrophobic on her limbs. She began stripping it from her body as fast as she could make her fingers work on the clasps. The pieces remained where they fell, each falling with a dull thud one after the other until she was finally clad only in her skin tight bodysuit. It was more difficult to remove than her armour, only coming off after several meltdowns had almost driven her to find a knife and slice the damn thing off.

Somehow Shepard found herself naked in the shower. The tepid water did its best to rinse the stink and sweat from her skin, but nothing was capable of scouring her clean on the inside.

She eventually sank to the cold floor and curled her limbs against her body, hugging them tightly. At some point she reached up and turned the water off, but she could not bring herself stand. In the quiet hum of her cabin, Shepard was forced to face the reality of the preceding few hours.

Cerberus had Liara.

All the tears streaming down her face could not change that fact. She already knew that the Illusive Man would offer his valuable bargaining chip in return for the Catalyst. With a fresh bout of sobbing, Shepard vowed that she would not - she could not - make that exchange. He would threaten to torture Liara and eventually kill her, all to no avail. The thought of her bondmate dying in such a fashion – alone and without hope – was one that Shepard desperately tried to expunge from her mind. It would not leave her, and after a while she realised that she needed to cling onto it.

It was the only way that she could share in Liara's pain.

* * *

 

Sam Traynor had long since realised that she had one of the most unpleasant and dangerous jobs on board the _Normandy_. Until she'd been stranded aboard the ship by the Reaper attack, Sam had spent her career in a lab. Throughout the course of the war she had never actually seen a Cannibal face to face, nor had she been personally shot at. She was in the military, and yet she had never seen someone die.

She drew in a breath; instead she was Commander Shepard's aide. _Whipping girl_ , Sam thought in private. She'd lost count of the number of times she had been on the end of Shepard's acerbic tongue and unpredictable anger. Occasionally Shepard apologised, most of the time though it was quickly forgotten – pushed to the background as they flew into the latest must-win situation. And to think, she had once been hopelessly smitten with the Commander.

It was her sense of duty that led her to rap her knuckles sharply on the door to Shepard's quarters. When silence was her only reply, she dared to knock a little harder. It was only following the unsuccessful third and fourth attempts that she made the frightening decision to enter uninvited. She'd been in Shepard's quarters on several occasions, hell, she'd fantasised about being in her bed before she realised just how bad an idea that was. From the threshold she could see that the spacious cabin was shrouded in an odd gloom despite the fish tank giving off a decent amount of light. She immediately noticed that the deck in front of her was littered with pieces of body armour.

"Commander?" Sam ventured uncertainly. She expected a terse reply but received none.

The silence led her to think that Shepard had left her quarters. She was about to leave when she heard a sudden, wet sniff come from the direction of what she thought was the bathroom. Without pausing to contemplate the consequences of her rash decision, Sam took the additional steps inside. She hovered outside the open door to the bathroom without actually looking inside.

"Commander, you asked me to use my discretion regarding bringing matters to your attention, I've picked up an incoming call…it's on a Cerberus frequency -"

"Stop," Shepard interrupted her in a quiet voice. "I already know what they want."

Sam was surprised to find no trace of anger in the Commander's voice. It was just…hollow and resigned. The pain of what had happened down on the planet was palpable. It reverberated throughout the rest of the crew, Sam especially. She had an almost mythical reverence for Liara, and she had liked James Vega immensely. Despite the fact that he was a full head taller than her and about three times as wide, he felt like the big brother she never had.

_What am I supposed to say?_ Sam thought awkwardly.

She waited for Shepard to say something, but after several minutes of standing in silence there was nothing. It was either leave the Commander alone or prove that she was capable of making an audacious decision. Before she could stop herself she rounded the corner and entered the Captain's bathroom. When she saw Shepard, her lips parted to make an involuntary gasp. Thankfully no sound came forth. Sam was used to seeing Shepard in control, resolute, and completely clothed. Instead she was huddled in the corner of her shower stall. Her naked skin still glistened with water and her damp hair was plastered to her scalp. When she looked up, Sam could very clearly see the tracks that tears had left on her cheeks.

"I want to hand over the Catalyst. I want to hand the bloody thing to Cerberus and have Liara returned safely." Shepard broke the silence. "How could I even consider doing that? Doom the entire galaxy just for one individual's life?"

Sam winced. _Bloody hell, I should have found Lieutenant-Commander Williams. I can't do this._

"I'd do anything for her, Sam. I'd die for her a thousand times over…but I can't do this." Shepard let out a shaky breath. "I love her, but when I refuse to give the Catalyst to Cerberus I might as well be holding a gun to her head myself."

"If you love her, you'll march into that comm room and tell Cerberus where to shove their offer," Sam said, finding the words somewhere. "You know Dr T'Soni better than me, but I know she'd argue more adamantly than anyone else against you handing the Catalyst to Cerberus."

Shepard pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. "You seem to know her well enough."

Sam reached for a towel hanging nearby. "Will I be facing disciplinary action if I tell my Commanding Officer to get off her sorry arse and get some clothes on?"

When Shepard looked up, she reached out and took the hand that was being offered to her. Sam dragged her to her feet. "I think she'll overlook it…this time."

Sam fervently hoped that her dark skin would hide most of the sudden rush of colour in her cheeks when faced with the sight of a very naked Shepard. The Commander's lithe frame was exactly as she had imagined it during all those times she had caught herself staring at her. However what she had not imagined was that the glowing scars that marred Shepard's face would also be found on the rest of her body. In particular the skin that covered Shepard's chest, just above her heart, was almost completely consumed by an ugly morass of scars.

"Do they hurt?" Sam asked before she could stop herself. She quickly thrust the towel towards Shepard and turned her back.

"Oddly enough, no," Shepard replied absently.

Sam remembered that she was standing in a bathroom with her naked commanding officer. "Is that all, ma'am?"

"Give me five minutes, then I want Cerberus on a secure channel in the comm room. And find Garrus for me, if he's not in the main battery, he'll be in Engineering. I have a feeling I'm going to need someone to stop me turning the ship around."

"Aye, aye!" Sam made her hasty exit.

"Specialist?"

Sam stopped in her tracks but did not return to the bathroom. "Ma'am?"

"Coming in here took guts," Shepard said quietly. "Thank-you."

* * *

 

As the _Normandy_ travelled at FTL, all Ashley Williams could see from the massive window of the Starboard observation deck was the constant repetition of starlines flashing past. She continued to stare, even when the view started to make her slightly dizzy. Although it felt good to be out of her armour and clad in the soft fabric of her hoodie and a pair of boxers, she could not bring herself to relax. Everything about her posture was defensive. Her stance was wide and firm and her arms were folded tightly across her chest. She heard the door open behind her, it closed a few moments later and soft footsteps padded across the deck.

"I can't do this," Ashley blurted out suddenly without turning around. She lowered her head. "It doesn't feel right when we were losing people less than an hour ago." Ashley closed her eyes. _Vega, you big dumb ox. Who am I going to tease about wearing a dress now?_ "Liara's gone…shit, I shouldn't have left Shepard. What if she does something stupid?"

"We both know Shepard's not about to do anything stupid…well, save for turning the ship around. But we'll know when the _Normandy_ drops out of FTL," Miranda replied softly. "And closing yourself off isn't going to bring those marines back."

"I know." Ashley spun around to find Miranda standing in front of her wearing nothing but a standard Navy-issue towel. Her eyes widened as there were two guards posted between the women's bathrooms and her quarters. Clearly Miranda had brazenly marched straight past them following her shower. "It's just not a good time."

There was very little conviction in her voice. It faltered altogether when Miranda un-tucked the towel and let it slide down her body. "If it's not a good time, then I can leave."

Miranda's actions hinted that she had no intention of leaving. She moved across the room until she was standing only a footstep away from a dumbstruck Ashley. Even in the midst of all that had happened to them, Ashley's body had very quickly responded to the sight of the naked woman standing in front of her. It was her turn to move. She closed the small gap that remained between them to reach out and place her hands on either side of Miranda's waist. As her fingers pressed against the silky pale skin, she felt a rush of heat flood her body.

"It's not a good time," Ashley whispered in a hoarse voice. "But we've both waited long enough."

When she lowered her face to Miranda's, she was the one who initiated a fierce, passionate kiss. Her hands roamed the unfamiliar curves that lay beneath them – from taut stomach muscles, to the exquisite softness of a breast. Miranda's own hands worked on the few items of clothing she wore. As their bodies writhed against one another, Miranda worked the hoodie from her shoulders. Ashley then lifted her arms so she could remove the plain white vest she wore. When Miranda hooked her thumbs beneath the band of her boxers, Ashley felt a shiver throughout her body as they slid down her legs. She stepped out of them and kicked them away. Moments later, she wrapped one arm around Miranda's back and used the other beneath the curve of her arse to pick her up. Hungrily she whirled her around and pressed her up against the window behind her. When she nudged her thigh in between Miranda's legs, Ashley heard a low moan from her throat.

"Anyone would think you've done this before," Miranda murmured as she pressed her face into Ashley's hair. "Or else you're a fast learner."

Ashley did not reply as her mouth was pressed over one of her tits, teasing the nipple with a firm tongue. Her only response was to bite down hard on the nipple. Miranda let out a gasp and responded by snaking a hand down between their bodies until she touched wiry curls with the tips of her fingers. When she pressed one finger downwards, she found out just how ready Ashley was. _Shit_ , _what has this woman done to me?_ Ashley thought, grateful she had something in her mouth to keep from crying out as Miranda dragged her finger hard against her clit. _I'm not just ready, I'm-_ Miranda's fingers began to move between her legs in a persistent rhythm _…oh fuck!_

"I am a very fast learner," Ashley said through gritted teeth. Fighting to regain some sort of composure despite the effect Miranda's touch had on her, her own fingers searched and found what they were looking for. She swallowed but her throat was dry. "I meant what I said…down on Alcyone."

"What was that?" Miranda let out a harsh breath as she began to realise just how difficult it was to concentrate on what she was doing.

Ashley drew back slightly, far enough for her to capture Miranda's gaze with her own. "I love you."

Miranda had often been accused of being cold or detached. However as Ashley watched her reaction, no one could accuse the woman standing in front of her of being those things. She watched as a tremulous smile spread across Miranda's lips. There were actual unshed tears in her eyes. At the moment that Ashley feared she might start crying, Miranda reinitiated their kiss and the motion of their bodies against one another. Ashley effortlessly gave herself up to the sensations that followed.

At some point both Miranda and Ashley had disentangled their sticky, sweaty limbs and made it to the narrow cot that served as a bed. They'd tumbled down onto it together, the springs protesting slightly under their combined weight. Ashley had drawn Miranda's naked body against her own and promptly fallen into a deep, exhausted sleep. Miranda could hear her soft snores. For several minutes she allowed herself to luxuriate in feeling the delicious warmth of Ashley's body pressed against the length of her own. She could feel Ashley's breasts squashed against her back. One of the marine's hands was lightly, but possessively resting on the curve of her hip. She even closed her eyes and held fast to the memory of Ashley's words _, 'I love you.'_ In all her thirty-six years, no one had ever said those simple words to her. Gently, Miranda nudged Ashley's hand from her hip, and eased her body from the cot. Ashley did not even stir as she stood.

As quietly as possible, Miranda padded across the floor of the observation lounge. She winced slightly as the hinges of Ashley's footlocker creaked slightly when she opened it. The continued snoring confirmed that Ashley was still asleep. She retrieved a stack of Ashley's clothes. Her body suit, the only clothes of her own that she had on board, was still in a locker in the shuttle bay. She could only hope that Ashley loved her enough not to be disturbed by the fact that she wearing her clothes from head to toe. As she pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a light t-shirt over underwear, Miranda knew that Ashley would be too preoccupied with the fallout over what she had to do to care about some clothing. She paused only to bind her hair up into a loose ponytail to keep it out of the way.

Once dressed, Miranda cast a glance towards her sleeping lover. She dared not approach, lest she loose her nerve altogether.

"I love you too, marine," Miranda whispered.

As soon as the door to the observation deck opened, the marines that Ashley had stationed on guard turned to look at her. Both of them, left and right, regarded her with wary expressions. Although neither of them had been told the reason for their guard duty, her past history with Cerberus guaranteed that she would always remain an outsider in the Alliance.

"I'm sorry, Miss Lawson," the one on the left said. "We're under strict instructions from Lieutenant-Commander Williams not to let you leave unless she is accompanying you."

"Williams is asleep and I'm famished," Miranda replied gently. "Surely the Mess isn't off limits?"

Right-side shook his head. "Sorry, ma'am. Best I can do is fetch you an MRE."

Miranda sighed in exasperation. "Just let me past, boys. This will be a lot easier for everyone if you do."

Left and Right clearly weren't the most intelligent marines on the ship. They looked at one another with confused expressions. When realisation finally dawned, it was already too late. Before they could raise their weapons, Miranda slammed the full force of her biotics into Right and sent him flying into Left. Their foreheads collided with a satisfying smack and they dropped immediately. Before their unconscious bodies hit the deck, Miranda took off at a dead sprint. It wasn't until she stepped inside the elevator that she realised she could only take a calculated guess as to where Shepard was in the ship. Miranda had seen the devastation on Shepard's face before she left the CIC and she knew that she would want nothing more than to be alone. However she also knew Commander Shepard, the Alliance hero. Her palm slapped against the panel and the elevator started moving. For a few moments, Miranda allowed herself to close her eyes dwell on the implications on what she had just done.

_You should have told Ash everything_ , she thought. Miranda curled her fists into angry balls and slammed one of them against the wall behind her. She had wanted to tell Ashley everything, but no matter how hard she tried, the words would not come. Instead she'd been driven to take the course she was now on. One that would no doubt cause her to lose the one person she couldn't live without.

_I may lose Ash._ Miranda straightened and waited for the door to open in front of her. _But at least I will be able to save Liara's life._

* * *

 

**Unidentified Cerberus Vessel, Unknown Location**

Asari were inherently difficult to restrain. Their natural biotic abilities meant that they either had to be constantly dosed with bio-blockers or restrained in such a manner that rendered using their biotics impossible. Unfortunately for Liara, Cerberus was extremely adept at the latter. When she regained consciousness, she found herself staring straight downward at a featureless floor – probably the deck of a ship. She spent a few moments struggling to orientate herself. She could twist her head far enough to either side to see that her both her hands were completely encased in bulbous restraints. In addition to emitting some sort of biotic dampening field, they were positioned so as to keep her arms spread. Given that she was suspended facing the floor, this placed almost unbearable strain on her shoulder joints. Liara could also see her feet. They were held in similar restraints and kept her legs spread-eagled. The entire contraption had the desired effect of rendering her helpless. Several minutes of twisting and struggling led only to stabbing pains shooting throughout her body and an eventual resignation to her imprisonment.

She was still dressed in the same armour she'd worn down on Alcyone. It was tainted with grime and the faint stench of her own dried sweat. Her face felt parched and dry, as though it was coated in dust. She could also taste it in her mouth. On the floor several feet below her, she could see a small puddle of blood – presumably from the head wound she had sustained during the cave in.

Liara struggled to piece together her fragmented memories. She remembered with perfect clarity the shuttle drop down to Alcyone and her amusement at seeing Shepard struggle with the stupid emergency ration packet. Her memories of the tunnels below the surface were also clear enough, even the violent cave in that had killed Naylor and separated the squad. It had been relatively easy for her to lead the small squad back out the same way they had entered. Liara remembered exiting the tunnel, grateful to see the sky again. She had been trying to hail Cortez at the moment that her memory fractured into a series of barely coherent pieces. The air had been torn apart by gunfire and biotic explosions. At some point she'd seen her squadmates fall. James Vega, the cocky Lieutenant who had once shyly asked her out for a drink, had fallen whilst surrounded by Cerberus troopers.

She'd tried desperately to reach both Vega and Naylor but something had come between them - a whirlwind of intense biotic fury. _Isini Aegir_. Liara had fought back with everything she had. It had ended in a repeat of her humiliating defeat on Thessia. Her last memory was that of Aegir standing above her, one boot pressed on her chest.

In hindsight Liara blamed herself. It was her complacency that had let Cerberus take them by surprise. It was the reason her squadmates were dead and she was hanging helplessly by her limbs on a Cerberus ship that may as well have been in the depths of hell.

_The reason why I will never see Shepard again._

Liara had hoped that the pain she felt as a resulted of being suspended in the position she was by the restraints would have dissipated over time as her body grew numb. However a few hours later her muscles were protesting violently, especially the ones in her twisted shoulders. It took all her willpower to keep from giving over to vocalising this pain. Not that crying about it would alter her predicament in any way, but it would offer an outlet. She allowed herself a miniscule whimper and immediately felt disgusted at herself. When Aegir came to see her, as Liara knew she would, she vowed not to give her the satisfaction of seeing her break down.

The door to the room where she was being held was visible from where she was hanging. At the moment that it opened, Liara had been futilely trying to slip into sleep or some form of unconsciousness as a break to find a reprieve from the pain. She kept her eyes closed, even as she heard the steady rap of boots on the deck.

"I know you're not asleep, Princess," Aegir said in an amused voice. "You're in far too much pain for sleep."

"I am quite comfortable," Liara replied coldly. She opened her eyes and met Aegir's gaze directly. It was difficult to appear anything other than helpless, but she managed somehow to remain defiant.

"And unless you have come to offer me reading material or perhaps ambient music, I have absolutely nothing to say to you."

Aegir laughed. "For the love of the Goddess, T'Soni, would you stop being so damn uptight! I thought you might like some company?"

"I was enjoying the solitude," Liara replied.

There were several more words she wanted to use. She wanted to throw every asari slur she knew at Aegir, as well as the vilest of the human curses she'd picked up from Shepard. It was all she could do to remain silent and not give the other asari the satisfaction of having goaded her into sinking to such a level.

"That cut on your forehead looks like it needs treatment."

By that point, Aegir had crossed the room and was standing directly in front of her. Liara could only look at her if she kept her head tilted upwards. This placed an unnecessary strain on her already tired neck so she opted to stare at the deck instead. That was until Aegir seized her roughly by her crest and jerked her head up so she was forced to look at her. Liara only wished her throat were not so dry, then at least she could have managed something to spit in Aegir's face. With her features twisted and ravaged by some form of insanity, Aegir stabbed one finger cruelly into Liara's wound. The sadistic gesture was exceptionally painful, but Liara did not give the pain any voice. She felt warmth down the side of her face as fresh blood flowed from the wound. In a perverse thought of her own, she hoped that she might lose sufficient blood to pass out.

"I don't need to explain to you why you're still alive," Aegir said.

This was an explanation that Liara did not need. Cerberus intended to use her as a bargaining tool for the Catalyst. It was the reason she knew that she would never see Shepard again. Regardless of the depth of their feelings for one another, this was an exchange that Shepard could not make. As unpleasant as the thought was, Liara knew that the threats of her torture or death would not offer the incentive needed to make Shepard doom the rest of the galaxy. As she stared up into Aegir's hate fuelled gaze, she realised that she had only one means of ensuring a way out of the nightmare - a quick death.

"Not particularly talkative-" Aegir began.

"Why should I speak to the likes of you?" Liara interrupted as fiercely as she could manage. "You betray your sisters by working for an organisation as despicable as Cerberus!"

"You once worked for Cerberus, Princess." Aegir's tone was still quite calm. "And yet you still think you're better than me."

"I am better than you!" Liara spat. "I have a family and a bondmate that love me. I have integrity, honour and the knowledge that I have lived my life to the fullest extent – no matter how short it may be. What do you have, Aegir? What do you have besides your irrational hate for the rest of the galaxy? You have contributed nothing because you are a worthless piece of maw shit. No one will mourn your violent end, and it will be violent, because Shepard will-"

"Shepard will what, Princess?" Aegir's anger blossomed to the point where flecks of spittle flew from her lips. Her grip tightened on Liara's crest and she jerked her head back even further until Liara had to wince in pain. "I'm going to flay the skin from your fucking precious Shepard's body while she's still alive! You think you can goad me into killing you? Think again. Embrace eternity, Liara T'Soni!"

_The unyielding surfaces of her prison slipped from Liara's view as she was dragged unwillingly into Aegir's sudden meld. She fought against accepting the joining, but Aegir was strong and her brutal thrust rendered her mental barriers useless. Asari often used melds to share memories, but this one was forced on her._

_Liara fell into a world that was as far removed from the pristine interior of the Cerberus ship as it was possible to get. It was a rundown slum tenement - probably Omega or even one of the lower wards of the Citadel. So vivid was the memory that Liara could practically smell the stench of bodily filth in the air. Someone was holding on to her arm and she could feel fingernails digging into her tender flesh._

" _You want to get paid, asari?"_

_Liara saw the source of the question – a grizzled Batarian with an ugly scar running down the centre of his face. She felt her head respond with a nod, even though she knew it was not really her that was making the gesture. With a single shove she was propelled forward into another room. It was almost bare save for a bed and an extremely anxious Krogan who was pacing the short length of the room._

" _As promised Quarl, one extremely nubile asari," the Batarian said, spreading out his arms in a gesture of offering. "A maiden in every sense of the word."_

_The Krogan regarded her through narrowed eyes. "She'd better be. And she'd better be well-behaved. I've handed over too many credits to end up floating in the middle of a damn biotic singularity."_

" _This one has been well instructed. On my honour, you'll get no trouble from her."_

_A few moments later, Liara desperately tried to summon her biotics as rough hands seized her flesh. The fields were there for the grasping, but she could not order her thoughts to the point where they were useable. The power remained cruelly out of reach. This was not her memory. She was merely an unwilling passenger as the young asari was picked up and thrown onto the bed. Some part of her struggled as the flimsy garment she wore was ripped from her body, but it was to very little avail. The threadbare fabric parted all too easily beneath the hands of the Krogan._

_As the memory progressed, Liara struggled to propel herself out of it. However she was forced to experience everything exactly as it was remembered. For someone who had only ever known the touch of one considerate lover, it was sickening. Liara heard a scream as the Krogan forced her legs apart. She thought that it might be her own but it sounded too primal and animalistic. By the time the asari did attempt to fight back with a pathetic struggle, it was too late._

Liara found herself sobbing when the meld finally ended, heedless of the searing pain her violently heaving body added to her shoulders. Aegir had released her only when the Krogan had finished his rutting and was a dead weight pressing her down into the bed. She wanted to vomit, but could only manage a dry retch that left her throat scorched and inflamed. Somewhere Aegir was laughing like someone possessed. Her determination not to let Aegir break her had failed. She had nothing left except for an overwhelming feeling of emptiness.

"I am sorry for what happened to you," Liara whispered. She wasn't sorry for the twisted individual standing in front of her, but she was sorry for the young asari in that dirty room.

"Why the fuck are you sorry, Princess?" Aegir spat. "You think you were responsible? No...you can lay the blame squarely at the feet of your precious mother."

"Benezia?"

"Benezia fucking T'Soni-"

_{Aegir.}_ The disembodied voice that interrupted her was all too familiar. _{I want you to bring Dr T'Soni to me now. For your sake, I trust that she remains unharmed.}_

With her face still twisted into a mask of hatred Aegir replied, "There isn't a scratch on her, boss. Not one that I made anyway." She reached out and tenderly caressed Liara's face. "Hear that, Princess? We're going for a little walk."

"Fuck you," Liara whispered with as much venom as she could muster. Her voice sounded forced, even to her own ears.

Aegir merely laughed again in response to her defiance. Without warning, the bonds holding Liara's hands and feet disappeared. The deck rushed up to meet her. Liara did not even have time to shield her face before she collided heavily with the cold metal. Although dazed, she was perfectly aware of Aegir's location. The other asari remained close by, almost as though she was stalking her. With Liara's freedom came a sudden surge of strength. Her anger and desperation combined in a sudden retaliation. Even after hours of being held at an awkward angle, her limbs responded. She sprang into a crouch and channelled her fury into a mass effect field directed at Aegir. It was the perfect response – the fields were a mere split second away from tearing into Aegir.

The laughing asari brushed her attacked aside as though it were a joke. Aegir's own response was to lash out and throw Liara backwards several feet. Her momentum was arrested sharply as she collided with a wall. Liara slammed into it hard, but barely had time to fall before Aegir dragged her upwards. Her feet were left dangling several inches above the ground. Almost completely drained of all her strength, Liara could only submit to the fields that held her. She had the time to realise that the warmth on her face was blood flowing from her nose.

"Don't humiliate yourself further, Liara T'Soni," Aegir said, shaking her head slowly. She released the fields and dropped Liara downwards. Her legs crumpled but she arrested her fall on her knees.

"Get up and come quietly or I will drag you to the boss unconscious and drooling."

With the acidic taste of humiliation in her mouth, Liara stumbled to her feet and moved in front of Aegir. It wasn't fear that propelled her forward, but an all-consuming helplessness. While she would not say that she had given up, she acknowledged that her future looked bleak.

Liara had never met the Illusive Man face to face – few outsiders had. She had encountered him in his holographic form on Thessia, even then he had made her skin crawl. When Aegir propelled her into his presence, she had to force herself to meet his unsettling artificial gaze. The Illusive Man's steely blue eyes seemed to bore straight through into her very core. She kept her chin tilted upwards as he stared at her.

"Dr T'Soni, I must say it is a pleasure," his slow drawl greeted her. He cocked his head to one side as he regarded her carefully. "It is distressing that Shepard did not choose to align herself with us. Aligned with Cerberus, the Reapers would have been driven back before setting foot in this galaxy."

He took several steps towards her. Liara twisted her head away as he reached out for her. However he caught her chin with a firm grip. "It would have spared you the pain and suffering you are going through right now. It gives me no pleasure to be doing this to you, but it must be done."

She managed a grin of her own. "How does it feel to know you have already lost?"

"Lost, my dear doctor? I think you will find that we have only just begun," he said quietly. "I think you will find that Shepard will be most interested in what I have to offer her."

"I do not care, and neither should Shepard," Liara whispered, wishing there was some way to make her voice sound stronger. "There is nothing you can do to me that will get you what you want."

The Illusive Man released his grip on her chin. Liara was finally able to look around the room into which Aegir had led her. She cast only a cursory glance, feigning nonchalance and disdain until she picked out an eerie shape beyond the Illusive Man. Liara recognised the sleek lines of the tank instantly. Without needing to try, she remembered the asari she had freed from the tank on Horizon. No sooner had she released her, she had pressed her Carnifex to her temple and pulled the trigger to spare her from the agony of the transformation into one of those monsters. A Banshee.

"You're wrong, Dr T'Soni," the Illusive Man said, beckoning for two of the faceless troopers in the room to seize her by the arm. "I think you'll find that some techniques can be very persuasive."


	30. The Reaper Within

**Chapter Thirty  
The Reaper Within**

**SSV Normandy SR-2**

Garrus Vakarian had followed Shepard to hell and back more than once. He’d once joked that he was such a sucker for punishment, he'd follow her so long as he still had a trigger finger. Light-hearted banter, concealing the fact that he was just as crap as every other Turian when it came to expressing emotions. Shepard wasn't much better. Garrus often thought she would have made a model Turian officer – self-sacrifice and duty were practically her middle names. Hell, most Turians would have agreed wholeheartedly with Shepard's decision to abandon Liara to Cerberus.

However, Shepard wasn't Turian and Garrus himself wasn't completely immune to emotion. He could hazard a damn good guess at the devastation his friend felt. Although he would never admit to either of them that he loved her like a sister, it was much closer to the truth.

_Liara's not dead yet, Vakarian_ , he stubbornly reminded himself. _There must be some chance._

The elevator opened and he found the CIC an oddly subdued hive of activity. Technicians were busy repairing the damage the _Normandy_ had sustained during their flight from Cerberus, but the work was being carried out as silently as possible. Throughout their desperate campaign, the crew had remained high-spirited and quick to banter. Now with the loss of their enigmatic but highly respected XO, they were in mourning. Vega too, had also been a popular crewmember. A little too mouthy for Garrus's liking, but a fine soldier.

_Three dead marines and one captured asari. Anyone would think the war was lost._

He approached Comms Specialist Traynor, clearing his throat to announce his presence.

"Is Shepard already in the comm room?" he asked.

The young human shook her head. "I-I think she's still in her quarters, sir."

"You don't need to call me sir," Garrus replied. Traynor had always been a little intimidated by him. It was no use smiling. Turian smiles just appeared threatening. And he hardly felt like smiling at that point in time. "How is she?" There was no need for him to elaborate on who ‘she’ was.

Traynor looked like she was thinking. No doubt wondering whether she ought to reply honestly or not. "Can I speak freely, sir – sorry I mean, Mr Vakarian?"

Garrus felt a sense of hopelessness as he tried to summon a laugh for the human. All that came forth was a slight grunt. "It's just Garrus," he replied. "Shoot."

"I don't think she should speak to Cerberus…" Traynor's voice faltered as the door behind them opened.

"Garrus."

At the sound of his name, Garrus turned to see Shepard herself emerge from the elevator. The Commander looked freshly scrubbed in the manner of all soldiers who had scoured themselves clean after a brutal fight. Garrus immediately noticed that his friend was carrying herself in an oddly stiff manner. Her chin was tilted at too high an angle, her back ramrod straight and her voice tight. However, as soon as she approached, her composure slipped and she practically slumped forward. Before she could fall apart, Garrus felt compelled to spread his arms and wrap them around Shepard's shoulders. His un-Turian reaction surprised himself. The realisation that he had never actually hugged Shepard before did not seem important – it felt like the most natural movement under the circumstances. The Commander lingered for a few moments, longer than a brief hug, but when he felt her try to extricate herself he let her go. He didn't think any less of her for the unshed tears in her eyes.

"Nothing is final, Shepard," Garrus told her as they began walking towards the war room. "As desperate as the situation is, we'll come up with something." Shepard did not offer a reply, but Garrus wanted to get her talking. "You know I can take care of this for you.”

"You're worried I might give into that bastard's demands?" Shepard asked.

Garrus paused before replying. "Not exactly-"

"I have to do this, Garrus," Shepard said firmly. Her voice softened as she continued, "I owe it to Liara."

"Doesn't make it any easier." It was all so bleak and hopeless – even for a Turian. He already knew that there was nothing more he could add that would possibly sway Shepard's position. "At least you did something with your hair," he added. Garrus knew next to nothing about human fashions and very little about hair, but the Commander did look a little less unkempt than usual. It wasn't his intention to lighten the mood, but he wanted Shepard to feel more like a person for a few seconds at least.

Shepard turned and gave him a weary glance. "It's just wet, Garrus," she replied, dragging her fingers through the finger length strands.

Before they entered the comms room Garrus took Shepard by the elbow and forced her to stop. "You don't have to do this, not face to face," he reminded her. "You won't let me speak for you, fine. Send him a message."

Shepard shook her head and met Garrus' gaze defiantly. "I'm going to look that bastard in the eyes." She paused for effect. "You're not here to talk me down, Garrus. No matter what Cerberus threatens to do to her, you have to promise me you'll pull your gun on me before you let me turn the ship around."

Garrus sighed brokenly. "Shepard-"

"If you can't do it then I'll get Javik to stand at my side," Shepard interrupted. "I am already damn sure he wouldn't think twice about putting a bullet through my skull."

"No. This is my place." Garrus gave her a nod, awkwardly tapping the Predator he wore strapped to his thigh.

He followed her through into the comm room. A few moments later Specialist Traynor informed them that she was patching the Cerberus call through. Garrus saw Shepard visibly stiffen as the Illusive Man’s likeness appeared in the viewing alcove. The tip of one of his distinctive cheroots burned brightly between his fingers.

"Shepard. Vakarian," was all he offered by way of greeting.

With a while knuckled grip on the edge of the console in front of her, Shepard opened the conversation, "What do you want?"

His response was to drag on his cigar and exhale slowly. "I believe you took something from that planet, Shepard, something that belonged to Cerberus."

"Bullshit, it was never yours. What took you so long to get there anyway? Was the Prothean VI too difficult for your people to decrypt?" The Illusive Man cocked his head to one side but did not reply to her taunts, leaving it to Shepard to make the next move. She lowered her voice and spoke in a dangerous tone. "You took something from me as well."

Although Garrus understood the actual physical presence of the Illusive Man wasn't even in the same system, he felt an overwhelming urge for violence. He took some satisfaction as he imagined ripping the glowing cheroot from the bastard’s fingers and stabbing it into one of his artificially enhanced eyes. He admired Shepard's restraint. The tiny room was crackling with anger, but she held herself together.

"You are fully aware of the solution to our respective problems," the Illusive Man eventually said. "I want the Catalyst, you want Dr T'Soni. If you do not comply-"

"Spare me the niceties!" Shepard cut him off harshly. "If I don't hand over the Catalyst, you'll kill your hostage – yes, it's all very predictable. Well, I've got another solution for you. I don't hand over anything and you keep Liara safe and unharmed. Then when I return for her I might resist the temptation to rip you a new arsehole out through your throat."

He grinned. "Were you this charming before Cerberus brought you back from the dead?"

"No, you made me a little bit nicer.”

He paced a few steps left and then right. "The body can endure a substantial amount of pain before it finally expires-"

"If you harm her-" Shepard attempted to interrupt.

"That depends on your definition of harm." He smiled. "Some individuals, the late Henry Lawson in particular, would view what we are going to do to her as an improvement."

His image flickered and a few moments later the Illusive Man disappeared altogether to be replaced by another image. Standing close by Shepard's shoulder, Garrus had a perfect view – but he was not sure what he was looking at. He could see Liara. At first he allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief that she was still alive. The asari had been stripped naked and placed into what appeared to be a tank or some sort of incubation pod.

Liara was clearly unaware that she was being broadcast to the _Normandy._ She was pressed against the side of the tank, staring out at nothing. Although she appeared physically unharmed save for dried blood encrusting the side of her face, Garrus knew Liara well enough to know that she was scared. Her arms were drawn tightly around her body - one pressed against her breasts and the other placed between her legs to preserve some sense of dignity. Garrus realised that he had involuntarily curled his fingers into tightly clenched fists.

"You bastard," Shepard whispered in front of him. "You fucking bastard!"

When Garrus placed a hand on the Commander's shoulder, he found that she was trembling. "Shepard? What are they going to do to her?"

Shepard let out a ragged, drawn out breath. "Henry Lawson was using those tanks on Horizon to experiment with Reaper technology. They're going to try to turn Liara into one of those asari monsters. A Banshee."

* * *

 

The elevator moved upwards in a barely perceptible motion. Miranda Lawson stared dumbly at the blood that continuously ran down her arm from the wound in her shoulder. Had it been from a pistol shot, it would have cauterised. However, one of the idiot marines guarding the Catalyst had seen fit to try and lash out with his omni-blade. Her powers had recharged and she'd knocked him out cold, but not before the blade had sliced through the meat of her bicep. She watched the bright red pool on the floor beneath her grow larger, and found a moment to be impressed with what she had done. Four armed marines all down within less than ten seconds. She hoped that each would have nothing more than a few bruises and a severe headache upon waking – one possibly had a broken arm. The injuries would be in addition to the disciplinary action that they would no doubt face for letting her walk out of the cargo bay with the Catalyst.

_Nothing compared to what the Alliance will do to me_ , she thought dispassionately.

The focus of their current struggle was clutched firmly in her fist. The Catalyst was no longer in the redundant container in which they had found it - instead it was exposed in her bloody fist. Miranda did not need to examine it. She knew what the damn thing looked like – its tendrils had wormed themselves into her mind for the better part of three years. The blood continued to fall in a steady stream, the bright red contrasted against the dull metallic sheen of the Catalyst as it flowed over it. Miranda held it up in front of her face for a moment. Although her blood flowed in every crevice of its crystalline surface it did not adhere.

When Miranda stepped out onto the CIC, she was surprised to find that none of the personnel paid her any attention. It was only when she discreetly pressed the cold metal of her stolen pistol against Specialist Traynor's neck that anyone even knew she was there. Traynor responded with a stunted half gasp.

"Sorry about this, but you and I need to take a little walk," Miranda said quietly.

"Ms Lawson?" Traynor responded automatically. "W-wha…"

Her mouth worked soundlessly a few more times, but only a nonsensical stutter emerged.

Miranda began to propel the stunned young woman forward with a persistent jab of the pistol. "If they don't lock me up after this is over, I'll show you how to deal with someone who jams a weapon against the base of your skull."

Traynor was not a marine, but Miranda could only hope that the actual marines stationed in the security alcove would not be rash enough to try and stop her progress. She had already hurt enough Alliance personnel for one day.

"Can I be so bold as to ask why you've got a gun to my head?" Traynor asked in a thin voice.

"Necessity," Miranda replied curtly. "I need to get the Catalyst to Shepard and you're my shield."

"Shield as in human shield?" Traynor asked nervously. "One that could potentially be shot? I make a terrible shield. There's not much to me. Mum always did say I never ate enough-"

Miranda shoved the techie forward roughly. "Shut up and you'll be fine."

The Specialist was still squirming as Miranda pushed her into the security alcove. Campbell and Westmoreland took mere seconds to evaluate the situation and respond accordingly. Both drew their weapons and levelled them at the pair of women in front of them. Miranda sighed in exasperation. She was irritable and slightly light-headed from loss of blood. Every second she wasted, was another second that took them further away from Cerberus and Liara.

"Just passing through," Miranda said simply.

"We can't let you do that, ma'am," the blonde one – Campbell - replied in a firm voice.

_Of course you can't, you idiotic pair of robots_. "I'm sure the last thing you want is Specialist Traynor's brains spattered all over the bulkhead-" Traynor let out yet another stunted squeak, presumably one of protest this time "-or your own. Don't be a pair of heroes, let me pass or this will get messy."

Westmoreland shook her head. "No can do, Lawson." She slammed the bolt home on her Avenger to further prove her point.

_Fuck…messy it is then_.

It was over in a matter of seconds - the subtle thump of biotics and the angry retort of an Avenger were accompanied by a series of grunts and shouts. Sam Traynor found herself lying face down on the floor where Miranda had shoved her out of harm's way. Her forehead smarted from where it had collided with the deck, but she was otherwise unscathed. When she lifted her head, she found both marines lying in crumpled heaps at their respective stations. Half-tensed in anticipation of being the next target of Miranda Lawson's considerable talents, Sam forced herself to roll over. She found a chalk-white Miranda leaning heavily against the bulkhead behind her. The rapid rise and fall of the other woman's chest was the first thing she noticed, followed a split second later by the bloody hand clutched at her side. Sam's eyes widened – at some point during the brief fray Miranda had been hit. Although she still held the small object that Sam presumed to be the infamous Catalyst, the pistol was lying on the deck at her feet. It was well within Sam's reach as she started to shift her weight slowly.

"What kind of idiot discharges a weapon this close to the ship's hull?" Miranda remarked in a tired voice.

Although she only had to reach out and pick up the pistol, something drove Sam to stand instead. Miranda turned to look at her. The brunette's eyes were heavily lidded and she appeared close to passing out. "I don't know. What kind of idiot blasts her way through the _Normandy_?" Sam asked in response.

"The desperate kind," Miranda said as she managed to stand unaided. "I'll need your help to get to the comms room."

Sam's eyes widened. "You used me as a bloody hostage and now you want me to take you to Shepard? Are you barking mad?"

Miranda chuckled. "Stark raving mad…and in need of your help. Tell me, Specialist, how far would you go for Shepard?"

"To win the war?" Sam asked. _I only need to stall her for a few minutes, help will arrive and_ _this won't be my problem anymore._

"No…not for this damn war…for Shepard."

_I can't fight and I can't shoot straight - what could I do?_ "I'd die for her," Sam replied without a second thought.

"Good…it should be easy enough to become a traitor for her." Miranda awkwardly walked a few steps. Before Sam could back away, she wrapped one arm heavily over her shoulders. "Comms room, Specialist. Now."

Not entirely sure what the hell she was doing, Sam supported Miranda with her body. By now Miranda's actions had no doubt alerted the entire ship. With the urgent repair work drawing manpower, only two crewmembers were in the War Room as the pair entered. Both were techies that Sam knew well. Unarmed, they regarded her with surprised expressions as she helped Miranda across the room.

_{Specialist Traynor, are you in need of assistance?}_

EDI's silky satin tones took Sam back to a simpler time – one where all she had to worry about was making calibrations to the _Normandy's_ internal systems. That and whether it was weird to be attracted to a disembodied voice.

"Nope, we're good, EDI," Sam replied quickly. _Just heading for a court-martial that's all._

Somewhere behind her Sam was aware of harsh shouts directed at both her and Miranda. Her own crewmates were telling her to stand down immediately. However, they were too late, just several more awkward steps and they both practically fell through the narrow door to the comms room. In a sudden display of strength, Miranda disentangled herself from Sam and slammed her bloody fist against the locking mechanism on the door. She pushed her way through to stand beside Shepard at the console.

"We're handing over the Catalyst," she announced abruptly. "But only if you release T'Soni from that tank immediately."

Desperately wishing she was on the other side of the locked door, Sam tried to take in the scene that was unfolding in front of her eyes. Garrus Vakarian had a pistol gripped in his fist and levelled in Miranda's direction. Much of the holographic display was blocked from her view, but she could see a smug looking human and an oddly shaped tank with someone trapped inside… _Liara!_ Sam's eyes widened. It wasn't a technology she recognised, but something about it seemed inherently sinister. Her gaze then shifted to the Commander. Sam could only hope like hell that Shepard would be able to find a way to resolve the whole mess before someone else was hurt. _Or worse…_

Shepard's usual quick reaction time was hampered by shock and exhaustion. For several seconds, she simply stared at Miranda. However, her eyes widened when she saw the small object Miranda held in her bloody fist.

"Why the hell are you holding the Catalyst?" Shepard demanded. "What the fuck have you done, Miranda?"

"I'm saving Liara's life. We're turning this ship around and taking the Catalyst back to Cerberus," Miranda announced, taking several steps away from Shepard. She held the Catalyst higher as her biotic energy danced around it. "Give the order or I'll destroy the damn thing."

"Dissension in the ranks, Shepard?" The Illusive Man remarked in a pleased tone. "I thought you had long since turned your back on us, Miranda?"

"I'm not doing this for you," Miranda replied, not bothering to even look at her former employer. Instead she kept her gaze fixed firmly on Shepard. Her luminous dark eyes pleaded with her former lover. "We need to do this for Liara, Shepard. Please trust me."

Shepard jammed her hand down on the control to mute their conversation. Her exhaustion was replaced by a cold fury. "I don't know what you're doing, but you are deluded if you think I'm going to hand the Catalyst over to Cerberus…even for Liara. Stand down Miranda, or I will order Garrus to shoot."

_Trust her._

Everything in that tiny room became strangely silent. Shepard was aware of a blood vessel under her left eye twitching repeatedly. She could hear the rasp of Miranda's breathing – or was that her own? Someone had spoken, and yet it had not been the voice of anyone present in the room. _Unless…_

"It was you all along, you bastard," Shepard whispered, staring down at the Catalyst.

"Ah, Shepard, who the hell are you talking to?" Garrus asked.

When Miranda managed a tired nod in response to her statement, Shepard slowly turned back to the console. She unmuted the conversation and met the Illusive Man's questioning gaze. "The Catalyst is yours. You will receive the coordinates of a planet where you will return Dr T'Soni. She must remain unharmed or the deal is off. Understood?"

The Illusive Man nodded. "I knew you would see reason, Shepard."

As the communication link went dead and the awful image of Liara in the tank disappeared, Shepard lowered her head. _It's not reason; it's sheer, bloody insanity_.

Garrus and Traynor were reduced to a pair of stunned spectators, Shepard turned to face Miranda.

"You are indoctrinated." Shepard stated bluntly. It wasn't a question.

Miranda responded with a sad smile. "Yes."

Shepard had not expected Miranda to answer truthfully, or even to be aware of what had happened to her. She now understood why Miranda had not attempted to refute Javik's accusations on Alcyone.

With what little strength she had left, Miranda extended her hand, the Catalyst clutched in her bloody fist. With a moment’s hesitation, Shepard accepted it. She felt a brief surge of pain similar to what she had felt on the surface in the presence of the Catalyst, but she forced herself to wrap her figures tightly around the small object.

There was nothing.

Shepard blinked. The blood vessel beneath her eye was still twitching. She felt strangely disembodied. Although she supposed her physical body was still standing in the comm room, her consciousness was in some sort of limbo. In every direction she looked, there was nothing. Simply nothing.

"We haven't much time, Shepard."

Before she turned in the direction of the speaker, she already knew what she would find. The thing that had taken on Kaidan Alenko's likeness stepped out of the darkness. Gone from its face was any trace of mockery or amusement. Instead the serious expression looked very much like one that the real Kaidan would have worn.

She shook her head wearily. "What the hell am I doing?"

"You're wasting time," the Kaidan-thing replied in an exasperated tone. "You're supposed to be the great Commander Shepard, not some whinging little girl."

"And you're supposed to be the Catalyst!" Shepard fired back. "Instead you're a useless little rock who has appropriated the body of a dead friend. Now you're making me hand you over to Cerberus. Again, what the hell am I doing even talking to you like you're…what the hell are you anyway?"

"I should have thought that obvious," it replied in Kaidan's voice. "Your cycle calls us Reapers."

It was only obvious in hindsight. The indoctrination, the strange almost omnipotent way in which the Catalyst had acted to bring about its unknown game plan. Shepard felt her shoulders slump as she struggled to comprehend what was happening. Everything that she and her crew had been through over the past three years had led to this point, only to find out that they had been losing all along. If she thought it would achieve anything, she would have beaten the thing in front of her bloody and raw. As it was, she couldn't even muster the strength to move.

"You've played us all from the start," she said in a blank voice. "The Crucible was a lie."

The Catalyst rubbed its forehead in an irritated gesture, exactly as Kaidan used to do when he was suffering one of his migraines. "Your level of comprehension is so limited it's almost pitiable. Take a seat, Shepard. I fear I have a little bit of explaining to do."

Shepard didn't know whether to feel despondent or confused. Without asking how exactly she was supposed to sit on nothing, she folded her legs beneath her. A hard surface formed out of the nothingness to support her weight. Almost concurrently, scattered images began to appear around the figure standing above her. She realised that they were illustrating his words.

"Countless cycles ago, we were one race. Fiercely proud and powerful, yet benevolent. We used our influence to shape and guide lesser races to fulfil their potential." Shepard saw familiar systems, and within them a myriad of images of strange beings, none of which she remotely recognised. Some were vaguely humanoid; others were almost unrecognisable as living creatures. "Some races worshipped as gods, but we did not cultivate that perception."

"The Protheans…they did the same with the asari." Shepard had scattered memories of the temple on Thessia.

The Kaidan-thing shrugged. "In a manner of speaking, but we were far more intimately to the races we guided by our very nature."

Comprehension gradually dawned as Shepard stared at the images. She saw nothing that resembled the design of the Reapers that she was familiar with. "You're parasites?"

"We prefer a sort of symbiosis. You must understand how difficult it is to achieve anything when your natural form is a crystallised compound of dense organic matter." It spoke quickly, all the while pacing back and forth in an agitated manner. "This needs to happen faster. Shepard, I don't have time to discuss what we were, only what we became. In the beginning, we could not contemplate a future wherein our infantile charges would grow to challenge our power. We foolishly thought that they would be content with galactic peace-" Something walked out of the shadows beyond the Catalyst. There was some element of it that reminded Shepard of the geth. However, where the geth were sleek and graceful, the machine was rough-hewn and random. It looked as though it had grown organically. "-without realising that our idyll had already been shattered. A race called the Arden were the first to create artificial intelligence…perhaps, yes, I must show you-"

Without any explanation, it surged forward and pressed its hands to Shepard's temples. The images that had previously been floating in front of her eyes were now inside her head. Although there was some sort of order, Shepard viewed them as an overwhelming cacophony of layered visuals. She struggled to make sense of what she was being shown and eventually it dawned.

It had been the origin of the cycle of destruction.

When the machines rose, they had not stopped with the total decimation of their creators. They continued throughout the Galaxy in a wholesale slaughter that was eerily like that perpetuated by the Reapers as Shepard knew them. It had only been stopped at considerable cost. Even with the defeat of the machines created by the Arden, the chaos had not ended. A brutal civil war followed with one faction arguing that the primitive life forms could never allowed to progress to the point where they had the potential to wipe out the galaxy. A decision was made. To preserve life, there needed to be a cleansing every 50,000 years.

Shepard witnessed the creation of the Reapers that she was all too familiar with. Millions of beings had died. They were harvested to create the massive carapaces around the tiny core of organic matter. After millennia of being dependent on the bodies of lesser beings, Shepard understood why they had felt the need to create vessels immense in both size and power.

At the point where Shepard feared her head would explode, the visions ended. With a splitting pain raging between her temples, she struggled to her feet. The ancient machine was gone. Only the Catalyst stood in front of her – looking very much like one solitary human.

"You don't need to tell me which side lost the war."

It nodded slowly. "What remained of my race became what the Protheans called the Reapers – before that, other cycles used their own terms. The actual words would be difficult to translate into your language, but the underlying sentiment was the same. Those few of us who chose to rebel were exiled, condemned to spend our existence as observers to the cycles of annihilation."

"You could have helped?" Shepard pointed out, her anger stirring. "You knew what they were, you could have defeated them!"

"Do you think we stood idly in the face of such slaughter?" it demanded in a wounded tone. "The civil war was fought because some of us believed in the sanctity of life! It is one thing to guide and protect a species, it is another altogether to usurp the role of their gods. You cannot fathom how long we fought, Shepard. There were so few of us, it was all we could do to plant the seeds of the construct that has become known as the Crucible in the hope that it could bring about the downfall of our own race. One by one, we aligned ourselves with the race that became the Protheans, in a last desperate attempt to end the cycle. They managed to succeed in constructing our Crucible where other had failed. Before it could be used, we were brought down from within. Traitors from amongst my own brothers…indoctrinated Protheans. The end was sheer chaos. You already know what happened at that juncture. My remaining brothers were annihilated alongside the Protheans."

When the Catalyst finished speaking, Shepard could hear only the subdued, despondent voice of Kaidan Alenko – the man she had left to die on Virmire. She understood now that she was witnessing a being consumed by eons of guilt and desperation. It was all one vast game, and there was just one roll of the dice remaining.

"How many of you are left?" Shepard asked quietly.

It looked at her sadly and replied. "Two."

"Two." Shepard let out a gentle exhale. "Where is the other?"

Without resorting to words, the Catalyst stepped forward. It moved across the nothing between them and extended Kaidan's arm towards Shepard. When the tips of the fingers reached out and touched Shepard's chest, just between her breasts, she was surprised to find that it was an actual, physical contact. While it was light, just the barest of touches, she stumbled backwards. Her own touch replaced that of the Catalyst. However, unlike the light brush of fingertips, it was a desperate, clawing gesture. Memories came flooding back – from the first time she had collapsed in the comm room, to the attack she'd suffered whilst fighting a husk on Palaven.

"It's inside me?"

"Fused around your heart," it replied nonchalantly. "Courtesy of Miranda Lawson."

Shepard almost gagged, her eyes bulged as she struggled to draw a breath. Eventually it came in a messy gasp. "Miranda didn't just use Reaper tech to bring me back…she used a fucking Reaper?" She suddenly lunged forward and seized the Catalyst by the scruff of its outdated Alliance uniform. "What the fuck is inside me?"

It did not reply immediately. Instead, Kaidan's features gradually morphed and changed. Even as Shepard held onto the uniform, the body grew taller, the face lengthened and Shepard found herself staring into her own dark eyes.

"My daughter."

The voice was unmistakable. Shepard had spent many hours listening to recordings.

Stricken, she let go of the Catalyst. She shook her head in disbelief. "That’s…unfair. Change back, please."

For the first time in her life, Shepard found herself looking at an embodiment of her father, John Shepard. All the vids she had watched endlessly throughout her childhood had not painted a true picture of how tall he had been, nor had she picked up on the faint smile lines at the corners of his eyes. Her eyes burned.

Shepard shook her head. John Shepard had been dead for over thirty-two years. This thing was not her father.

"Evangeline," the Catalyst said softly. "You must focus. Time-"

"-is running out. So you've said," Shepard finished, unable to look at it any longer. "You indoctrinated Miranda when her Cerberus team found you on Alcyone."

"I allowed Miranda Lawson to find me and her alone. There were dozens of weaker minds, but she was the one I needed to use. Had I not done so, her so-called Lazarus Project would have failed. There is no technology in your galaxy that is capable of restoring someone who was truly gone."

_I was dead, in every sense of the word_ , Shepard thought. A part of her had suspected, but she refused to acknowledge it as the truth. In doing so she would have raised the possibility that, whoever or whatever she had become, she was not Evangeline Shepard. _Now is not the time for self-doubt._ "Something went wrong," Shepard added eventually. "I've been experiencing chest pain since the Reaper invasion and fluctuating biotic-like powers."

"Nothing went wrong." He smiled sadly. "My daughter was badly wounded at the end of the Prothean war. We do not carry out wounds as other organics do…but suffice to say, she is no longer what she once was. After being in hiding for almost fifty-thousand years, she was near death when I led a human to us. In saving your life, I also saved hers. You're keeping each other alive."

Shepard clutched at her chest yet again, although this time the gesture was less savage. "Why didn't Miranda just lead me straight to you? I've been searching the galaxy for hints, clues…that damned Prothean VI on Thessia…"

"I'm not that powerful, Shepard. Unlike the unwholesome form of indoctrination perpetuated by my brothers, my hold over Miranda Lawson weakened with distance and I never allowed her to understand what we were. My only hope was that enough of my daughter remained to help you find Alcyone on your own. It took you a little longer than expected."

Shepard rubbed at her temples yet again. "And more than a little luck."

"Ah yes…luck," the Catalyst said thoughtfully. "I would have used another human concept. Fate."

"Does it matter? You're here aren't you?" Shepard was growing impatient. "You haven't explained why you forced Miranda to tear my ship apart to get me to turn around? You're the Catalyst, you can power the Crucible. Bam, we've won!"

"And your beloved Dr T'Soni would be dead," the Catalyst added bluntly.

Shepard almost choked. "If that's the price that needs to be paid for victory-"

She was cut off as the Catalyst surged forward and gripped her by the shoulders.

"Cerberus is almost as dangerous as the Reapers. They're a cancer, working to bring your galaxy down from within. Give me to Cerberus, and I can end them once and for all. You will be free to concentrate on destroying the Reapers without having to deal with their brand of poison," her father's likeness explained in a desperate voice. "It is just a fortuitous side effect that you will be able to trade me for your bondmate – the pawn who hopefully survives the game unscathed."

"No." Shepard shook her head. She could not allow herself to feel even the smallest fraction of hope. "We need you to complete the Crucible."

It smiled, and pressed his hand to her chest once again. "As I said, there are two of us remaining."

There it was – that damned spark of hope. "Your daughter could function as the Catalyst?" Shepard asked incredulously.

The Catalyst nodded.

"Slight problem…it's…she's inside me…" Shepard fumbled around and comprehension finally dawned. The Catalyst's expression was not without compassion as it watched her understand what would happen. "It will kill me."

"The choice is yours, Evangeline Shepard. You could end this with just one life – Liara T'Soni's…or your own."

"Then there is no choice to make," Shepard replied instinctively.

Shepard slammed into the deck of the comm room as she was thrown back into reality. When she struggled to her feet, she found the Catalyst still pressed into her palm. Her companions were still staring at her as they had in the moments before she had been drawn into the nothingness. Garrus still stood with his pistol levelled at Miranda. Traynor was desperately trying to appear composed. There was very little point in keeping a weapon trained on the ex-Cerberus operative, she was slumped over in a pool of her own blood.

"Traynor, hold this." Shepard passed the Catalyst to the Specialist. "Don't drop it. Garrus, put that bloody gun down and find medigel and a stretcher."

Miranda appeared small and broken – almost childlike in her bloodied Alliance casuals. Her eyes were still open, but they were heavily lidded. Shepard knelt and propped Miranda's head up gently.

"I'm sorry about your crew, the damage I caused," Miranda said quietly. "But we were running out of time and it was the only way."

"No, I should have listened to you," Shepard insisted.

"You would never have listened," Miranda replied. "You told me once that you convinced Saren to commit suicide to prevent Sovereign using him further. Should I have done the same thing?"

"Hell no, Miranda," Shepard replied instinctively. "Even after being shown…whatever the fuck that was, I don't fully understand the Catalyst's motivations. I am however beginning to accept that it acts out of some sort of benevolence. You are nothing like the thing that Saren became."

Garrus returned with another crewmember, a stretcher and several packs of medigel. Shepard sat back on her haunches as the Turian expertly applied the salve. While it worked rapidly to seal Miranda's wounds, it could not restore the blood she had lost. In the moments before she lost consciousness, her hand reached out to grasp Shepard's.

"Tell Ash…tell her it was always me."

Moments later, Garrus and the _Normandy_ crewmember had scooped Miranda up onto the stretcher. Shepard turned to check on Traynor and the Catalyst.

The Specialist had it cradled in both palms. She held it away from her body, as though it was a live grenade. "Ma'am, can you please take this thing back?" she pleaded.

"It won't hurt you."

Traynor shook her head. "I can hear it in my head. It's telling me I have nice eyes. It's…disconcerting."

Shepard lowered her gaze. “It spoke to me too.”

"What did it tell you?" Traynor asked as Shepard helped her to her feet.

_That I'm going to die._ Shepard smiled sadly. "I need to give Joker a new course."

* * *

 

Her sleeping cot was so narrow that Ashley knew Miranda was gone before she returned to full consciousness. When she had fallen asleep several hours earlier, she had been intimately aware of their limbs tangled together. It was difficult to concentrate on anything else whilst her lover's thigh was still jammed between her legs, slick with sweat and the tell-tale evidence of how satisfying the sex had been. Had Ashley not been so exhausted after the chaotic whirlwind of events that had happened on Alcyone, then she would have continued trying to slake the desire that raged in the pit of her stomach. As it was, she'd very quickly succumbed to sleep almost as soon as she collapsed onto the cot.

Ash lingered in that place of content that was a luxury often denied to soldiers. She stretched languorously, her toes curling as her long legs extended and her arms pressed against the bulkhead behind her. With Miranda gone from the cot, a slight chill crept hung on her skin. A half-hearted search for a blanket whilst keeping her eyes closed turned up nothing so she burrowed into her mattress and hoped that Miranda would not be long. As she waited, she could not help but dwell on what had passed between them in those hours since their return from Alcyone. With Javik's accusation of Indoctrination hanging over her, Miranda had not held back at any stage. Ashley's cheeks coloured as she remembered the raven-haired woman's intense passion and the way she'd used her fingers, tongue and her entire body to coax her to somewhat dizzying heights. Given that she was in an indulgent mood, Ashley was fervently hoping to have time for another round before they had to drag themselves back to reality.

Several minutes passed. Ashley grew colder and Miranda did not return from the bathroom. Eventually her eyes opened and she scanned the darkened room for a few moments. With barely a pause in her movements, the soldier suddenly lifted her body into a sitting position and swung her feet to the cold floor. Her foot locker was open when she clearly remembered closing it after retrieving her t-shirt and boxers. Knowing that Miranda could not possibly have gone far without her supervision, Ashley rose to her feet and hastily dressed herself in her uniform. All the while she refused to give any thought to the growing disquiet gnawing at her stomach.

The mess deck was oddly empty as Ashley passed on her way to the elevator. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and noticed that several crew members were being helped into the medbay. She could hear the strained tones of Dr Chakwas' voice whilst the door was open.

"EDI, where is Miranda Lawson?" she demanded, pausing as she watched the medbay doors slide closed.

_{Ms. Lawson is in the medbay,}_ EDI replied calmly. _{Initial reports indicate that she has possible lacerations and a gunshot wound.}_

"How the hell…" Ashley whispered as she broke into a run.

The medbay doors opened and admitted her into the midst of a scene of minor chaos. Her eyes immediately went to Miranda - unconscious and ghastly shade of white. The white t-shirt she wore was stained with blood. Chakwas was in the process of ripping it away from another wound in her side.

"Miranda!" Ashley pushed her way through to the bed as Chakwas glanced over her shoulder. "What the hell happened?" she asked in a horrified voice.

"Surely you mean to ask what the hell she did?" someone said in an angry voice.

Ashley turned to see a rather groggy looking Sarah Campbell trying to prop herself up against one of the beds. The object of her scathing tone was clearly Miranda. Bethany Westmoreland was lying beside her on the bed, still unconscious although she appeared to have no visible injuries.

"What do you mean?" Ashley demanded. She did not wait for an answer from the Private before turning her attention back to Chakwas. "Doc, what the hell happened to Miranda?"

Dr Chakwas merely shook her head. "You need to leave the medbay, Williams. Please let me treat my patients."

"I'm not leaving until someone explains how Miranda ended up with a gunshot wound whilst still on-board the bloody _Normandy_!" Ashley was trying to reach Miranda's side when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She ignored whoever it was as she grabbed Chakwas by her upper arm. "Doc?"

"That bloody Cerberus bitch went apeshit, that's what," Campbell said in an acidic voice. "She shot up four marines in the cargo bay and took the damn Catalyst before trying to force her way past Bethany and I. One of us shot her in self-defence. I told the Commander she ought to have been locked up."

Ashley's mouth worked soundlessly even as the firm hand on her shoulder attempted to drag her backwards and away from her lover. Her gaze settled back on Miranda's pale features and she realised that there was blood smeared across one cheek. If only she could get close enough to wipe it off. She began to struggle.

"Someone get Williams out of here!" Chakwas demanded in a cold voice. She softened slightly when she saw the desperate expression on the marine's face. "Ashley…you need to leave so I can treat my patients, especially Miranda. She's lost a lot of blood, but she'll be fine if you'll just let me work."

With a dumbfounded nod, Ashley stopped resisting as she was removed from the medbay. She stood by the window for a few moments, but the looks thrown in her direction by Sarah Campbell and several of the other wounded marines were unsettling to say the least. Eventually she turned and started toward the elevator at a jog.

"EDI, I need Shepard!" she barked.

Unperturbed by Ashley's rude tone, EDI replied, _{The Commander is currently in the War Room. Lieutenant-Commander Williams, I detect increased levels of stress in your voice. Can I be of assistance?}_

The marine couldn't get into the elevator and slam her fist against the controls fast enough. A part of her knew that she could ask EDI to explain what had happened, but the thought of having to listen to her emotionless voice was too much.

When Ashley emerged from the elevator, the CIC was almost empty save for Specialist Traynor standing at her station. Everything looked normal until Ashley noticed that Traynor wasn't making any attempt to work. She was simply standing, frozen in front of her console.

"Traynor?" Ashley's tone was far harsher than she had intended and the Specialist almost jumped a metre into the air at the obviously unexpected voice behind her. When she turned to face the LC, she was clutching her chest as though terrified. "Sorry, do you know where Shep-" Ashley cut herself short when she realised that one side of Traynor's uniform was covered in blood. From the way she had moved so swiftly, it obviously was not her own. "Sam, what the hell happened? Are you okay?"

The other woman nodded quickly. "Yes, ma'am. The blood, it's not mine…"

It was then that Ashley noticed she held something small in one of her fists. She soon recognised the object they had retrieved from Alcyone. "Why have you got the Catalyst?"

The Specialist's lower lip trembled for a few moments and she was unable to meet Ashley's gaze. Impatient enough to ignore Sam's obviously fragile nerves, Ashley darted forward and seized the poor woman by both shoulders. Sam uttered a sharp shriek out of fright before calming herself. Although the expression on Ashley's face scared her, she soon realised that it was one of desperation as opposed to anger.

"You should talk to Shepard," she managed to say.

Ashley shook her head. "I need answers now, Sam. What happened? Why is Miranda lying in the medbay with a gunshot wound?"

"She took the Catalyst from the cargo bay," Sam replied in a hasty tone. "Shepard wouldn't listen to her so she had to take it. Um…she kind of held a gun to my head to force her way through the security scan but Campbell and Westmoreland opened fire instead." As Sam explained, she watched the desperate look on Ashley's face change to be replaced by one that was altogether unfathomable. It was distinctly unnerving as Sam was so used to the tall woman wearing her emotions like a badge. "Miranda was hit and I helped her through into the War Room-"

"You helped?" Ashley interrupted. She had to fight from looking at what was obviously Miranda's blood on Sam's uniform. "You mean she wasn't holding a gun to your head at that point?"

Sam shook her head. "No…she couldn't, she was too weak. I think…I believed what she said about trying to help Shepard."

"You believed her after she shot her way through half a dozen armed marines?" Ashley demanded. "Did she kill anyone?"

"No…I don't think so. The Catalyst was driving her to do it, I don't think she had much control over what she was-" Sam tried to continue but soon became clear that Ashley was no longer paying any attention.

The marine stumbled backwards as though she was drunk or about to vomit. All colour had drained from her face. "The Catalyst was driving her to do it?" she whispered. She was supposed to be in my charge, I was accountable for her…all she needed to do was flash her damn tits and I lost it. At once Ashley felt as though her stomach was about to expel its contents. She needed somewhere to run, but short of fleeing back the way she had come, there was nowhere to go. Her fists were clenched into two white-knuckled balls at her sides. Eventually she snapped, driving one into the side of Shepard's terminal.

"That fucking, two-faced bitch!" she hissed as a horrified Sam Traynor watched. Ashley studied her reddened knuckles but realised she felt no physical pain. _I told her I loved her_ , Ashley thought as the room started spinning.

"Ma'am...Ashley...you might want to sit down for a bit," Sam suggested in a quiet voice. "Shepard's called a full squad briefing in the War Room. I think she might be planning something pretty big."

The Specialist's words only dimly registered as Ashley lowered her body to the steps at the base of the Galaxy Map. She sat heavily, the same words stuck on repeat in her head. _I told her I loved her._

* * *

 

Shepard kept her expression impassive as she watched and waited while her squadmates filtered into the War Room around her. Her body was screaming at her for sleep and actual food, but she forced herself to make do with some stims and an electrolyte-charged drink. Although the combination had succeeded in giving her flagging energy levels a much-needed boost, it had also succeeded in creating a restless craving for immediate action. To keep herself under control Shepard had to grip the War Terminal console in front of her – even then her foot tapped out an impatient rhythm on the deck.

She was grateful when Garrus and Tali chose to stand directly beside her at the terminal. With the stalwart Turian on one side and the Quarian on the other, Shepard felt reassured that the decision she had made was the right one. EDI and Cortez also stood down on the same level. As always the AI's perpetual expression was impossible to read, but she gave Shepard an imperceptible nod. Steve Cortez was also on edge. Shepard didn't need him to say anything – she knew he wanted a chance to get back at Cerberus for Vega’s sake. Shepard and Vega had butted heads on more than one occasion, mostly due to his insistence on calling her Lola, but he'd been a damn fine marine. Her chief regret was that she'd never thanked him for helping her retain an element of sanity during the six months that she was a 'guest' of the Alliance.

On the other side of the terminal Traynor appeared conspicuously tense. Not only did the Comms Specialist obviously feel out of place amongst the senior crew, Shepard had appointed her temporary guardian of the Catalyst. She had tried to place it into a small pouch, but the Catalyst had apparently protested that it enjoyed the contact of skin. Given that it (or _he_ , Shepard still wasn't sure) had volunteered to sacrifice itself to bring down Cerberus, it seemed a small favour to grant.

Two of her squadmates stood aloof from the others. Javik was predictably offended that his recommendation that Miranda be shot had been ignored. Shepard knew that protesting would only further incur his wrath, so she let him be. She did not even trust that he would eventually see the altruistic purpose behind the Catalyst's actions. Neither saving Liara's life nor bringing down Cerberus featured in his quest for vengeance for his people. A pragmatic, cautious commander would leave the Prothean on board the _Normandy_. However, with both Liara and Miranda out of the picture, he was the sole biotic at her disposal.

One recalcitrant Prothean aside, the true cost of the war was written plainly across the face of Ashley Williams. Shepard had never seen the Spectre look as devastated as she did whilst slumped against a terminal near the back of the room. Shepard tightened her grip on the console in front of her. There had been no time for her to talk to Ashley. The brief comm exchange she'd had with Dr Chakwas confirmed that Miranda was stable but still unconscious. Shepard tried to catch Ashley's gaze, even for a moment, but the stubborn marine would not look at her.

When Tali reached out and brushed the tips of her gloved fingers against her arm, Shepard realised that she was supposed to say something. Even though there were barely a dozen people in the War Room, she paused and drew in a nervous breath. Liara often reminded her that she was crap at giving speeches. Shepard readily agreed – she preferred actions as opposed to words.

"At 0230 hours, I consciously made the decision to turn the _Normandy_ around," Shepard began slowly. "This decision was made in direct violation of our primary mandate to recover the Catalyst at any cost and return it to the Alliance. Instead…I have made the decision to transfer the Catalyst to Cerberus-" A cacophony of voices interrupted her, Shepard held up her hand for silence. As she waited for her squadmates to cease talking, her foot continued to tap out an impatient rhythm on the deck. She forced the foot to remain still by curling her toes within her boot. "Before you shoot me, Garrus, hear me out."

The Turian looked offended at the suggestion. "I said that my place was by your side, I never actually said I'd shoot you."

Shepard wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not, but EDI spoke up before she could respond to Garrus. "Commander, the _Normandy's_ internal sensors have been malfunctioning since the Catalyst was brought on board. They indicate a Reaper presence…within the ship." EDI cocked her head to one side thoughtfully. "Subsequent analysis has proven that the sensors are operating within normal parameters."

"There's nothing wrong with the sensors, EDI," Shepard replied with an abrupt nod. _I wish you were here, Liara_ , she thought as she studied the expressions of her squadmates. _If I fuck this up, everything will be lost._ "There is a Reaper presence within the ship. Specialist Traynor is holding it." She paused to allow her words to sink in. Traynor had recovered from her earlier reluctance as she calmly held the Catalyst in the palm of her hand. "Suffice to say, we don't have the time needed for me to give you even the condensed history of the Galaxy that was given to me. I've already asked too much from all of you, and I have no right to ask this of you now, but I need you to trust me in the decision I have made. Cerberus has forced us to wage this war on two fronts. If not for their interference on Mars and Thessia, we may very well have ended this war and saved millions more lives." Shepard paused, she tried to gauge the reactions of her squad, but no one was giving anything away. She finally released her grip on the console and straightened. "At 0500 hours on Intai'sei in the Argos Rho cluster I will exchange the Catalyst for Liara. In addition to disobeying order, this delay will undoubtedly cost more lives…but I believe it is a price we need to pay to bring Cerberus down once and for all. It's greater than any one individual's life-"

"You say you make this decision for the greater good," Javik spoke up, his voice carrying throughout the space. "Yet you do not deny that it is based on you trusting the word of this Catalyst…this Reaper."

"I don't deny it," Shepard replied calmly. "It has promised me it will destroy Cerberus and I trust it implicitly."

"Then you are as indoctrinated as Miranda Lawson!" Javik spat, gesturing angrily towards Shepard with his uninjured hand. "It acts only out of a sense of self-preservation. It does not want to die!"

"Um…Javik does make one important point," Tali spoke up quietly. "If the Catalyst's intention is to destroy itself along with Cerberus…then the Crucible will be useless and the war will be lost regardless."

_Here we go_. "There is a second Catalyst, one we had with us all along," Shepard replied. When she pressed her hand over her heart, she realised she was trembling. "In fusing it around my heart, Miranda used it to restore my life-" Shepard finally caught Ashley's eye. The Spectre's defiant expression wavered for just a moment. "-and I will use it to power the Crucible."

"Commander…" Although Traynor's voice was a mere whisper, it carried to Shepard's ears.

"After all of this…you're the Catalyst?" Garrus asked incredulously.

"You will kill yourself in the process," Javik snorted, unimpressed by her determination to sacrifice herself.

Several other voices continued speaking, but Shepard drowned them all out when she spoke again. "If anyone wants to protest my decision-" She paused and waited for her crew to shut the hell up. "-then I will note your objections in my log and do my best to ensure that you do not face consequences upon our return to the Alliance. As your commanding officer, both the decision and the blame rest solely with me."

"I cannot condone your irrational decision, human." Javik did not surprise Shepard by being the first to give her an answer. "I do not see vengeance being achieved for my people, therefore I will take no further part in this folly that you plan."

Shepard responded with a terse nod, she had suspected as much. As she watched the proud Prothean turn and walk out of the room, she felt deflated. It was only when she felt a firm hand on her shoulder that she realised the rest of her squad were all staring at her with determined expressions.

"The last thing I want to do is help you sacrifice yourself," Garrus said quietly. "But I'll be damned if I'm not going to stand at your side and see this through to the end – whatever that end may be."

"I can't speak for your entire crew, Commander," Traynor spoke up. "But…Alliance Officer or not, I'm with you."

"I can speak for the ship," EDI spoke up. "As technically…I am the ship. I do not understand the logic or the emotion behind your decision, but I know that Jeff would tell me to 'loosen up.' If my physical platform can assist you in anyway, then I will be pleased to accompany you in this endeavour."

"I don't know what I've done to deserve your support," Shepard said. "But I'm damn proud to have you with me…all of you…" It was only at that point that Shepard realised Ashley was no longer in the room. She started moving toward the exit. "Grab some sleep, do what you can to prepare and I'll see you all in the shuttle bay at 0600."

"Ma'am?" Traynor asked as she walked by. It sounded as though she was also expected to accompany Shepard.

Shepard paused and slapped the Specialist on the shoulder. "Not you, Traynor. You'll have the ship."

Sam watched Shepard leave and then looked down at the spherical object cradled in her hands. "First you and now the whole bloody ship! I hate responsibility."

* * *

 

The elevator door was closing just as Shepard slammed her fist against the mechanism. It opened again and she slipped inside to face Ashley. Although Ashley did her best to hide it, pain was written across her face.

When the elevator began moving downwards, Shepard sighed. "Ash, she's sedated, it's not going to help-"

"I'm not going to the medbay if that's what you're trying to say," Ashley interrupted brusquely. The elevator moved down past level three and Shepard relaxed. "I've got gear to sort out…provided you still want me on the mission."

"You know I do-"

Ashley straightened. "For the love of God, don't pity me, Shepard! You placed her under my watch." Ashley stabbed her finger at her own chest as though wishing it was a dagger. "And I let the bitch walk right out from under my nose. All it took was one quick fuck. You want to know what takes the cake? I told her I loved her…some Spectre, huh?"

"Loving someone doesn't make you any less of a soldier, Ash," Shepard replied. "Miranda's indoctrination had nothing to do with her feelings for you. They were…they are her own."

Ashley turned her back on Shepard to stand directly in front of the door. "You're asking me to trust your decision to give the Catalyst to Cerberus, and your decision to use yourself as the missing piece of the Crucible…well I trust you, Shepard." The door opened and Ashley stepped out. When she turned to face Shepard as it closed, her expression was as hard as stone. "But I cannot trust her."

"Ash, for fuck's sake!" Shepard found herself yelling at the back of the door for all the good it would do.

Ashley needed time. If anything was salvageable out of the tatters of her fledgling relationship, then it was between her and Miranda. As desperately as she wanted happiness for her friends, it a bridge too far. With an irritated sigh, she jammed her palm against the console.

The loft was much as she had left it less than an hour earlier. Her discarded armour was strewn across the floor where she had let it fall. Horatio was still hiding at the back of his tank following her angry outburst. All it took to bring him out was a pinch of fish food. As she watched the bright yellow burst of colour for a few seconds, she wished it was just as easy for humans to find forgiveness. Leaving Horatio to his feast, she ignored everything else. She stepped over her discarded chestplate, battered as it was, and made her way down to the bed.

"EDI, wake me in four hours," Shepard informed the AI, only seconds before she toppled onto the mattress.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was assaulted by Liara's lingering scent. As she gave in and inhaled deeply, it was both equal parts painful and bittersweet. Shepard tried to tell herself that she was acting as some sort of galactic saviour in trying to end Cerberus once and for all. However, as she lay in the semi-darkness and let sleep drag her down, Shepard could not shake the image of Liara trapped within the tank.

_Even if, by some fucking miracle, we pull this off and save her life in the process, I need to tell her I'm going to die,_ Shepard thought.

She was still drifting around the edges of unconsciousness and was aware of her heart beating steadily – a drum beat, marching her towards her death.

* * *

 

**Unidentified Cerberus Vessel, Unknown Location**

Isini Aegir felt absolutely no sympathy for the pitiful asari trapped within the tank in front of her. T'Soni couldn't hear a thing so Aegir was spared the sight of seeing some scrap of hope on her sickeningly serene face. Just the sight of her, calmly staring out from behind the glass, was enough to make Aegir's blood pound with an irrational anger. She reached out and placed the palm of her hand on the tank. T'Soni made no attempt to respond.

"Turn it on!" Aegir barked towards the technicians who were overseeing the tank.

When nothing happened, she looked over her shoulder. All three scientists had turned to regard her with matching impassionate expressions. While she was one of the Illusive Man's favourites, that did not make her any less of an alien.

"We have our orders," a grey-haired human male replied in a terse tone.

Aegir sneered. "Turn the fucking thing on or I'll flay you all alive with my fucking mind."

Like the weak-willed species they were, two of the humans scrambled to carry out her order. The elderly one gave her one defiant stare and walked out of the room. No doubt he'd go running to the boss to save his own skin. Aegir couldn't care less. She was done with Cerberus. They'd provided her with the means to take her final revenge on T'Soni. As she stared down into the tank she had to admire the daughter's bravery, but it would not be enough. _Benezia created the monster_ , she thought with an odd sensation coursing through her body. _It was always her fault_.

Several changes occurred subtly in the tank in front of her – a few lights winked on and wisps of a gaseous substance began to filter into the cavity in which Benezia's daughter was standing. At first the stubborn asari did not respond. Eventually her face contorted at the first whiff of the gas. Less than a minute later her entire body spasmed in apparent agony. She went completely rigid, her head slammed against the side of the tank. Her teeth were bared but clamped together in a rictus of pain as she struggled to keep from crying out. She managed to hold out for almost two minutes before the screaming started.

"That's better, Princess," Aegir said. It was purely for her own benefit. There was no way Liara T'Soni could hear her through the tank, or through her pain. "Soon you will be even more of a monster than I am."

* * *

 

A/N: Whew! That's the exposition mostly over and done with in one fell swoop. Canon mythology cast aside *gasp!* A shitload of emotional turmoil. Another day at the office.

 


	31. A Daughter's Hatred

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Before her eyes opened fully, she was dimly aware of an awful taste in her mouth. It was as though something had crawled inside and quietly died. She ran her tongue over the insides of her cheeks – they were cracked and dry. Everything felt less like skin and more like dried leather. Her tongue felt as though it was rattling around inside her mouth. Even the simple act of opening her eyes took time. Her eyelids felt as though they were crusted shut. Eventually they complied, just a fraction at first. The world was mercifully dim beyond her eye-lashes and all she could see at first were shadows.

Minutes passed – awareness and memory began to prick at her fragile consciousness. She felt both the hard surface beneath her body and a throbbing pain in her left side. The barest fraction of a movement resulted in an intensification of the pain. It radiated throughout her body and made her wish she was still unconscious.

_Fuck that._ Miranda Lawson clenched her teeth as she tried to make her limbs work. One arm was next to useless, but the other was functional enough to prop her torso up from the bed. Her vision spun even with that trivial movement. She wore only a stock-standard medical gown. _No wonder I'm so fucking cold_ , she thought as she suppressed a shiver. She found a thin layer of gauze covering her upper left arm. It was difficult to make her fingers work, but she eventually grasped the fabric of the gown and dragged it upwards. Aside from being decidedly naked beneath, she found more gauze taped in place against the length of her left flank. The wounds served as stark reminders of what she had done.

Half expecting to be shackled to the bed in some way, Miranda was surprised to find that she was completely unrestrained.

The only other sound in the medbay was the quiet click of a mug being replaced on a hard surface. She twisted her head to see Dr Chakwas's face lit by the glare of her console. With a determined expenditure of effort, Miranda forced her body into a sitting position. The wound in her arm she could ignore, but the one in her side protested with such vehemence that she could not suppress the gasp of pain that followed. The doctor showed no signs of surprise when she finally looked up at her patient.

"You'd do well to rest for some time longer, Miranda," she said calmly. "Are you in pain? Can I offer you something?"

_Hardly the sort of treatment given to a criminal._ "Water," Miranda croaked. She was frustrated with the limitations of her own body.

She started to gulp down the cup of water that was given to her much too fast. Her thirst had her doubled over in a choking fit that heightened her pain. By the time it subsided and her breathing returned to normal, she felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

Dr Chakwas pressed the cup back into her trembling fingers. "I'll give you something to help you get back to sleep," she offered, not unkindly.

"That would be a mercy I don't deserve," Miranda replied bitterly. She searched Chakwas' face and was disappointed not to find any hint of aversion in her expression. "The marines I attacked, are they-?"

"Bumps and bruises all around, save for Serviceman Rosenberg's broken arm." Even more frustrating for Miranda was the complete lack of censure in Chakwas' tone. The doctor continued, "All are already back on light duty. You on the otherhand-"

"I don't need to be sedated!" Miranda interrupted irritably. She bit her lip regretfully for a few moments. "What I do need is to get the hell out of here. I don't suppose you're going to let me do that."

"My professional opinion would advise against it. I know your advanced physiology grants you some degree of accelerated healing, but you lost a great deal of blood," Chakwas explained gently.

"Even so, you're going to let me walk out of here?" Miranda asked incredulously.

Chakwas looked surprised. "You're not under any form of confinement if that's what you mean-"

Miranda's immediate response was to swing her legs over the side of the bed. It required less effort than she had originally feared, but making it onto her feet was another matter altogether. Chakwas made no attempt to stop her as she tentatively lowered herself down from the bed. Every limb was stiff, but she forced them to work.

The doctor watched her patiently as she tottered toward the exit. "Might I ask where you are planning on going, Miranda?"

Although she felt like replying with the truth – that it was none of her business – Miranda told her, "I need to find Lieutenant-Commander Williams-"

"The shuttle left half an hour ago," Chakwas interrupted. "I believe Williams was included Shepard's shore party.

Miranda immediately ceased her painful attempts at movement and collapsed against a nearby research station. With hopes of an immediate conversation dashed, Miranda was forced to acknowledge the futility of even trying to explain herself to Ashley.

_Just let it go, Lawson, it's done. Count yourself lucky if Ash doesn't drill you between the eyes with that overgrown sniper rifle of hers the next time she sees you_.

The prospect of escaping back into unconsciousness suddenly seemed appealing. However, when Miranda turned around to see Chakwas approaching her with the cup of water and what appeared to be a handful of pills, she shook her head stubbornly.

"I can't sleep for the rest of my life." It seemed to be the very antithesis to the way she had lived her life to date. Miranda was many things, but first and foremost amongst them she was resolute and proud. If she was going to spend the rest of her extended lifespan feeling sorry for what she had lost, then she might as well step into the nearest airlock.

"For a few more hours at least-" Chakwas began.

Miranda was instantly reminded of the maxim Shepard seemed to live by - 'I'll sleep when I'm dead.' At first she'd thought it was insanity endemic to all soldiers, then she'd realised it was purely Shepard herself. Most soldiers wanted to live.

_Shepard, you crazy bitch, I'm beginning to think you were the one genetically engineered to be perfect._ "No. I need to find something to do-"

"Miranda, if you were an ordinary human you may very well have died," Chakwas reminded her.

"Well I'm not ordinary, am I?" Miranda snorted disdainfully. Her scorn was directly inwardly. "Henry fucking Lawson saw to that first. Then a fucking Reaper made me its bitch. Nope-" She shook her head. "-definitely not ordinary."

"Quit feeling sorry for yourself." Dr Chakwas replied tersely. She removed the threat of sedatives by putting them down behind her. She faced Miranda down with her arms folded sternly across her chest. "You're not the villain you make yourself out to be. Now if you're so thoroughly convinced that you need to find something to do, at least let me find you some clothes – unless of course you want to walk around the ship with your arse hanging out?"

Thirty minutes later, with the foul, paste-like substance that had been her breakfast sitting uneasily in her stomach, Miranda stepped back onto the CIC. The scene was eerily reminiscent of the incident several hours earlier, although this time she was unarmed. Her footsteps were loud and deliberate as she approached the central console- not a difficult feat in the clunky, standard-issue Alliance boots she wore. In fact, Miranda was clad from head to toe in Alliance gear. The non-commissioned crewmembers uniform felt wrong on her body, but it was all that Dr Chakwas could find for her to wear.

Specialist Traynor turned at the sound of footsteps. Her mouth formed a surprised 'o' when she found Miranda standing behind her.

"It's the uniform, isn't it?" Miranda asked, looking down in disgust at the army-issue blue cargos, white t-shirt and blue jacket.

"Um, no, it's the fact that last time you were standing here, you held a gun to my head," Sam replied bluntly. "What do you want?"

"Um…" Miranda had to fumble for a reply. She wondered at what point it was that she'd turned into a shadow of her usually formidable self. "I need an assignment, something to do."

Sam frowned suspiciously. "And you're asking me…why?" The frown abruptly shifted to an anxious wince as realisation struck. "Oh, because I'm in charge…right!" For a few moments, the Specialist turned back to her console. When she faced Miranda again, her expression was slightly panic-stricken. "I don't know what the bloody hell I'm doing. Shepard and her team are en route to Intai'sei and I've had two separate communications from Alliance High Command in the space of fifteen minutes – one from Admiral Hackett and one from Admiral Anderson – both requesting an update on where Shepard is!" Sam blurted out, her words almost tumbling over themselves to escape her mouth. "The last they heard she was en route with the Catalyst. Well she's not is she? She's bloody swanning around the galaxy playing chicken with Cerberus!"

Traynor’s mouth finally stopped working overtime and she leaned back against her console with an exhausted exhalation. Having merely requested something to do to occupy herself, Miranda had not expected to be on the receiving end of an outburst. However rather than respond with surprise, she moved swiftly to stand at the Specialist's side. Before Sam could even think about stopping her, she began opening messages at random and scanning their contents for herself.

"Send them both a reply with the reassurance that the _Normandy_ is en route with the Catalyst – and our unexpected delays are the result of increased Reaper activity." It came all too easily to Miranda, it was a finally a game that she understood.

"You're asking me to lie to Hackett and Anderson?" Sam asked incredulously.

Miranda smirked. "I didn't get where I am today without lying to my superiors."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Sam commented as she started work in earnest. She paused after a few moments and looked up at Miranda with an uncertain gaze. "I think I'm going to need some assistance monitoring communications from the shore party." It was a blatant lie. Sam didn't need any help to do a job she could already do in her sleep. Still, she had realised that having Miranda Lawson at her side wasn't such a bad thing. "Do you think you could-"

"Already onto it," Miranda replied gratefully. She took up position at Shepard's console and busied herself bringing up the appropriate screens. "Thanks, although I'm not sure I deserve the trust."

"The Catalyst gave a pretty convincing argument." Sam shrugged whilst typing in sharp bursts. "It couldn't convince me to like you, but then again I do find you exceptionally intimidating-" She cut herself off abruptly. Sam sighed – there was nothing she could do to make Miranda forget that last comment. "Apparently, the little bugger has somehow ruined my capacity to keep my thoughts to myself. Verbal diarrhoea aside, you will make good on your promise to show me what to do, you know, about the whole gun to head thing?"

Miranda still felt like shit – about the Catalyst, about Shepard and most of all about Ashley, but she couldn't suppress the sharp snort of laughter that escaped her lips. "It would be my pleasure."

* * *

 

**Unknown…**

Even across the impossible distances that separated them, the creature was aware of her sisters calling to her. They raged against the society that had called them monsters, isolated them in monasteries and stifled their true potential. With the coming of the Reapers they had been granted a second life – the opportunity to unleash centuries of pent up anger and hate onto those who had denied them their freedom. Born of hatred and violence, the dying galaxy was their playground in which to extract revenge. It was all they lived for.

The creature examined its emaciated body. Stretched tight over abnormally elongated limbs, her once blue skin had dried and blackened as though it was in decay. When she looked down at her hands, she saw massive talons protruding from the tip of each finger. When she took a lurched step, she found that every movement brought with it an almost unbearable agony. Something was horrendously wrong. Although the creature viewed the memories in her head through the distorted lens of madness, she knew that they belonged to the life she had once lived, the individual she had once been. Through her pain and hate, the images came together for one moment of gut-wrenching clarity.

_My name is Liara T'Soni._

She lunged forward with her arms outstretched and projected her pain in one piercing cry. There were no words, only a single, interminable screech.

"Goddess!"

The panicked cry emerged from Liara's lips at precisely the same moment that her eyes snapped open and she jerked upright. Her heart hammered uncontrollably within her chest. She was immediately aware of others around her, but her first thought was to study her hands. Although fettered with thick manacles that encompassed each wrist, both appeared perfectly normal. They were the same shade of blue she remembered. She studied the fingers of her right hand and found only encrusted dirt beneath her ragged fingernails. The remainder of her body was partially obscured beneath a paper-thin jumpsuit that made it painfully obvious she was naked underneath. She flexed her limbs as best she could. They were stiff and her joints painfully inflamed, but they were still her own.

"The asari is awake." A gruff, male voice announced.

"It's about time!" another man replied in a clearly relieved tone. This one hunkered down in front of her - grey-hair, Cerberus science uniform. He gripped her chin in a vice-like grip and shone a small light into each of her eyes even as she tried to wrench her chin out of his grasp. "How do you feel?"

Liara head-butted him. Apparently being one-quarter Krogan did not mean that her skull was any thicker than other asari. As he went sprawling backwards, she was rewarded by a splitting pain across her forehead. She did her best to keep her expression neutral as he scrambled back to his feet, face pink with rage.

"You bloody asari bitch!" He lifted his hand to strike her, but a second scientist restrained him. He whirled to face his colleague. "You saw what she did!"

The woman shook her head. "Give it a rest, Sensier. I'd say that was a pretty damn good indication that she hasn't started to transform yet."

Liara's satisfaction was short lived. If the dream had not been enough, memories of what Aegir had done to her flooded back because of the scientist's comment. Accompanying the images in her head, she experienced the sensation of something crawling beneath her skin. She could feel it beneath the thin jumpsuit she wore, behind her eyeballs and burrowing its way into the very depths of her being. It felt as though her identity was being slowly rinsed from her bones.

With the two Cerberus scientists regarding her warily, Liara ignored them and scanned her immediate surroundings. A sudden jolt confirmed her immediate suspicions – they were inside a shuttlecraft. Besides the scientists, she was surrounded by a contingent of Cerberus troopers – at least half a dozen. Mercifully, Isini Aegir was nowhere in sight.

"ETA, ten minutes!" Somewhere up ahead the pilot called out.

_Do I even care where they take me?_ Liara asked herself.

Her eventual decision was yes. If only so she could anticipate whether they would remove her shackles. At some point, they would let their guard down. A fraction of a second would be enough, long enough to grab a weapon – a pistol, an assault rifle, a knife – anything, so long as she could use it to end her life. When she craned her neck so she could see a nearby viewing screen, all she could see was an unfamiliar arid, dusty brown planet stretching out below them.

"You're looking at Intai'sei, doctor." The female scientist observed the direction of her gaze. Her tone lacked the hostility of her male colleague. If anything, her regret served to emphasises Liara's pitiful state. "An entirely forgettable chunk of rock, but your Commander has chosen it to be the site of the handover."

_My Commander_? _Shepard...what have you done?_ "Handover?" Liara asked urgently.

"The Alliance has agreed to exchange the artefact they retrieved on Alcyone...for you," she replied. The Cerberus woman bit her lip awkwardly as she watched Liara's expression morph from one of detachment, to one of utter dread. "I'm truly sorry, Dr T'Soni…the other asari, Aegir, she activated the tank without the Illusive Man's approval-"

"The asari doesn't need to know!" Sensier interrupted harshly. He stabbed a finger in Liara's direction as though she was a piece of meat. "We hand her over to the Alliance before the creature takes over. It's that simple."

_Simple?_ As his words sank in, Liara debated whether to plead with her captors or lash out in passionate fury. _It is the end of my future, how it that simple?_ She struggled to summon some form of anger, but her emotions remained trapped in a body that was possibly no longer her own. Liara was grateful when the two Cerberus scientists turned their attention elsewhere. She did not know which felt worse – Sensier's barely concealed loathing or the woman's pity.

As Liara sagged against the bulkhead behind her, she felt a sudden warmth flow from her nose. When she tilted her head downwards, thick gobs of blood began to drip steadily onto the white jumpsuit.

Liara closed her eyes and pressed her manacled hands to her forehead. "My name is Dr Liara T'Soni," she whispered. "My mother was Benezia…my father was Aethyta." A sudden pain radiated throughout her body. She had to clench her teeth to avoid giving that pain a voice. "My name is Liara…T'Soni…"

* * *

 

**Intai'sei, Phoenix System, Argos Rho cluster**

"I know that each and every one of you would like nothing more than to open a massive can of hurt on Cerberus," Shepard said to her squad as she squinted up at the shuttle circling high above one of Intai'sei's vast deserts. The heat from the sun was so intense she felt as though she was baking inside her armour.

"You may be a crap shot, Shepard, but you'll always have a talent for understatement," Garrus commented in a lazy drawl.

Shepard gave the Turian a sidelong glance that effectively said 'shut the fuck up' without having to resort to words. Garrus would never admit it verbally, but she could tell he was as nervous as hell. The joke was nothing more than his way of easing tension. No one laughed – Garrus, Ashley, EDI, Tali and the complement of five Normandy marines were all focused with matching expressions of hard granite.

"Regardless of what their troops do, our weapons stay holstered," Shepard continued – her own fingers were twitching without a rifle to grip. "They can insult me, the Alliance and your own mother as far as I'm concerned. Our sole concern is to hand over the Catalyst and-" When Shepard tried to force out the rest of the sentence, the words formed into a solid lump and stuck in her throat. Her empty fingers curled into a matching pair of fists. She could feel her nails digging into her palms, even through her gloves. _Listen to your own advice. You want her back? Play nice_. "Everyone follows my lead on this. We're not here to play heroes. We get Liara back, and put these Cerberus bastards behind us."

"Hopefully, forever." A quiet voice added.

Shepard knew without looking that it was the Catalyst. As she feared, it had again chosen the form of her dead father. She refused to turn around and look at him. It had already succeeded in stirring the dull ache of grief for a man she had never known. Another weakness, something she could ill-afford at such a time.

"My advice goes for you as well." She kept her voice to a whisper lest her crew think she was talking to herself.

"My mother has been dead for eons. Insulting her memory will achieve little," it replied indifferently.

"You know what I meant." Shepard was not in the mood for humour, not with so much at stake.

"You're much too young to be so serious, Shepard." The voice changed, it now sounded like Alenko. She preferred it that way – those demons she could deal with. The Catalyst continued, "I will go quietly in my little box – at least until Cerberus has taken me as far as I need to go. Then, I assure you, my end will be anything but quiet."

Shepard remembered how chillingly quiet her own death had been. The only sound had been her gasps for breath and the last death rattle of her lungs when all the air was gone. _Unlike most people, you’ll get a second shot at making a fucking big bang when you go out._ "I'm sorry I couldn't do more to save you."

The shuttle overhead was now in its final landing approach. Shepard could see the yellow Cerberus logo on the side and it was already making her skin crawl. Her head finally turned, not with the intent of looking at the Catalyst, but it was standing there anyway wearing Alenko's face. She looked right through it and gave her squad a nod that was meant to be reassuring.

"Are you talking to me, Shepard, or Lieutenant Alenko?"

Shepard did not answer that question as she did not know herself. At this point, it no longer mattered. "I promise you I'll see this through to the end. Your daughter's sacrifice will mean life for billions."

"As will your own, surely?"

Shepard shielded her eyes from the dust kicked up by the shuttle's landing thrusters. As the noise gradually died down she let out the breath she had been holding and forced herself to breath evenly. _No, my sacrifice will mean one devastated asari._

_You need to look at the bigger picture_ , it reminded her.

_I think I've earned the right to be selfish in this_.

By the time she looked over her shoulder once more, the Catalyst's ethereal manifestation was gone. She had time to study the resolute expressions and postures of her squadmates one last time before turning to face the shuttle and its precious cargo. The red dust stirred up by the shuttle was gradually settling back on the arid landscape. Intai'sei was largely a desert world, habitation sparse and scattered. Only a few scattered trees attempted to defy the baking heat. They were stunted little things, barely tall enough to offer any shade. Shepard licked her dry lips. It was a shithole, but at that moment in time it was her entire world.

It seemed like an eternity before the shuttle door slid open. The first figures to emerge were several Cerberus troopers in their bulky armour. Unlike the Alliance contingent, each one held their weapons in the ready position. Watching them with a neutral gaze, Shepard willed her own squad to remain calm. If anyone opened fire, it would be a bloodbath. Liara would probably be the first to die.

When Shepard finally saw her bondmate, it was all she could do to keep her boots fixed firmly to the spot. Although the Illusive Man had promised that she would be unharmed, Liara was not walking under her own power. Two of the Cerberus goons had her by the arms and were dragging her. Instinctively, Shepard shifted one heel to plant herself more firmly in the dirt. She found herself repeating the movement to still her anger - shifting her heels right and left to push aside the thick, red dirt. Behind her, she could feel the tension from the rest of her squad.

"Bastards-"

Shepard cut Garrus off with nothing more than a curt motion of her hand. If she opened her mouth, she feared she would not be able to restrain her temper. Only two members of the Cerberus delegation were without helmets. She recognised the science uniform as the man and woman approached, walking in front of the troopers dragging Liara.

The steely-haired scientist stepped apart from the rest as they came to a halt. "Commander Shepard, Dr Laurent Sensier-"

"I don't give a fuck who you are." Shepard surprised herself with her capacity to keep a flat tone. "Your boss assured me that Dr T'Soni would be unharmed."

"A little sedative never hurt anyone, Commander," Sensier replied in a polite voice. "Examine her for yourself. You'll find that the asari is merely asleep."

He gestured to the troopers holding the captive. They dragged her forward and deposited her like a limp ragdoll at Shepard's feet. Resisting the urge to smash her fist into the smug smile on the science officer's face, Shepard went to one knee at Liara's side. Attempting to appear composed about the situation was the worst kind of torture. All she wanted to do was cradle Liara in her arms and carry her the hell away from Cerberus.

Although she was expert at receiving wounds as opposed to assessing them, Shepard was skilled enough to take several readings with her omni-tool. It was enough to tell her that Sensier had not lied – Liara was sedated. Save for a cut on her forehead which looked to be a day old and a pair of matching welts around her wrists, she was unharmed. Shepard signalled to her squad and EDI brought forward the cylindrical container carrying the Catalyst.

"You'll want to take your own readings I assume?" EDI asked. Even the voice of the AI sounded cold and angry when faced with her creators.

"It's alright, EDI," Shepard added quietly.

As the two Cerberus scientists activated their omni-tools and began taking readings, Shepard struggled to keep from openly displaying her reaction to the sight of Liara lying unconscious in the dirt. In an unobtrusive movement, Shepard slid one arm beneath Liara's head and cradled it up out of the dirt. She was undeniably angry, so much so that her tactical mind was currently analysing the speed with which she could draw her Carnifex. It was difficult to gauge the attentiveness of the Cerberus soldiers behind their faceless masks, but she was certain that both scientists would be reduced to headless corpses in less than a second. Following her lead, the rest of her squad would react as she shielded Liara. Garrus and EDI's chain overload ability would stun most of the troopers before they could open fire. Tali would light them up with incinerate, no doubt creating enough tech and fire explosions to cause chaos while Ashley cut down the rest. Shepard was intimately familiar with what a fire explosion did to a human body – and it was not pretty.

"We're satisfied."

Shepard blinked. Sensier was talking to her but the words barely registered over the scenarios she had been playing in her mind. Close as she was to walking away with the tentative truce intact, her lust for violent retribution made it difficult to focus. Without even bothering to look up at him, she nodded. The restrained movement was the safest response as she watched the almost imperceptible rise and fall of Liara's chest.

A part of her was still aware when the Cerberus forces pulled back towards their shuttlecraft. Although she listened to the tap-tap of weapons on armour and excited whispers of the scientists, she had eyes only for the asari lying in front of her. It was only when she heard the determined whine of the engine that she bothered to look up to watch them make their departure. As the shuttle lifted off and started to claw its way upwards, Shepard paused to appreciate just how smooth the entire transaction had been. Not a weapon had been fired, nor a voice raised in anger. She uttered a silent thanks to whoever was listening. In hindsight, Shepard realised she ought to have known that nothing was ever so simple where Cerberus were concerned.

The shuttle was a mere speak in the pale blue sky when Shepard felt Liara stir in her arms. She watched as her eyelids fluttered delicately before opening. It took several blinks for the fog of confusion to clear, but Shepard saw the moment when her bondmate's eyes widened in recognition.

"Hey you," Shepard whispered. She was unable to keep a relieved smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Goddess...no," Liara whispered in a horrified tone. It was not the response Shepard had been expecting. A split second later, Liara dragged herself up into a sitting position with surprising speed. When she threw her arms around Shepard's neck, it felt as though she was clinging to life itself. "Words cannot express how much I love you, Evan."

The embrace was so fierce Shepard was having difficulty breathing. "Yeah…I know how you feel," she whispered tenderly. "Let's get you back to the _Normandy_."

N7s prided themselves on their situational awareness, but Shepard's guard was so relaxed that she did not realise what was happening until Liara was on her feet and backing away from her. In her trembling grasp, she held the Carnifex she had snatched out of Shepard's holster.

The Commander stared in disbelief for several seconds as she watched Liara's expression twist into one of anguish. Without hesitation, Liara lifted the Carnifex to her temple. Behind her, Shepard could hear several anxious outbursts from her squad. Her own response was more restrained, but no less fearful. She held up one hand and motioned for the squad to back up slowly, while the other reached tentatively towards Liara.

"I cannot come back to the _Normandy_ with you," Liara announced in a determined voice.

"Hey, everything is going to be fine." Shepard paused in an awkward crouch, her hand still extended. It was a struggle to keep her voice calm. "Tell me why you can't come home, Liara."

Liara shook her head as tears started to fall. "Just let me go, Evan, please. Do not make this more difficult than it already is."

"Difficult?" Shepard's voice cracked at her bondmate's ludicrous choice of words. She hauled herself to her feet and Liara took several furtive steps backward to maintain the distance between them. "You've got a gun to your head, baby. I don't know why, but all you need to do is give it back to me and we can sort everything out."

With another shake of her head, this time vigorous and angry, Liara's face twisted into a snarl. "I will not stand by and let you watch me turn into one of those monsters!"

It was Shepard's turn to shake her head. "B-but…the Illusive Man, he-"

"Aegir," Liara interrupted in venomous tones.

As Shepard was struggling to process Liara's revelation, she suddenly caught a glint of sunlight on metal just over the nearest mound of dirt. At first she was not sure whether she was simply looking at a piece of scrap, or if it was a threat. At the forefront of Shepard's thoughts, was the possibility that Liara would suddenly pull the trigger in her fragile state. Her hesitation cost the rest of the squad any warning when the air was suddenly filled with a flurry of biotic attacks and gunfire. Something slammed into the ground only a scant metre from Shepard and she was sent sprawling.

A gentle blue light filtered across her vision before she managed to scramble back to her feet. The patterns swirled and folded in response to repeated attacks. As Shepard fumbled for her Mattock, she realised that someone had thrown a biotic barrier over the entire squad. She twisted back into a crouching position and cast a glance sideways to see Liara with her arms outstretched. The barrier was far larger than anything Shepard had seen her bondmate deploy, and the strain was soon evident on her face.

"Back to the shuttle! Ash, Garrus – suppressing fire!" Shepard yelled out a stream of orders that she hoped were coherent. Her main concern was ensuring Liara's safety – regardless of her bondmate's determination to end her life.

The barrier faltered and disappeared a few seconds later. However, it had been active long enough for most of the squad to converge on the Kodiak. Shepard thought she saw one body lying in the LZ, but she was soon distracted when she realised that Liara was gone. As Shepard desperately scanned their surroundings, she managed to catch glimpses of the squad that had managed to ambush them – Eclipse mercs.

_What the hell?_ Shepard thought as she threw herself behind a wind blasted hillock. _What have I done to deserve them as well as Cerberus?_

"Commander, we're ready to take off!" Cortez's urgent message blasted into her ear.

"Get the squad out of here, Cortez!" Shepard yelled in response.

"Like hell!' It wasn't Cortez, it was one very determined Turian.

Shepard heard the rapid, chaotic retort of Garrus' Revenant – clearly he wasn't going anywhere. It was followed by three powerful shots, unmistakably from Ashley's Black Widow. Their Commander's angry rebuke died on her lips when she realised that they would disobey her direct order rather than leave her alone in the middle of a fire-fight.

"They're asari mercs," Shepard informed her squad. "Keep them pinned, don't let them get close to you." _Asari mercs_. The realisation brought with it a dull sense of dread _. Aegir, you bitch, I know you're here_. It was also at that moment that she knew where Liara was.

* * *

 

Liara felt as though she and Aegir were the only two individuals standing on the surface of the planet. The Carnifex she had taken from Shepard hung loosely in her fingers. At that point the heavy pistol was a tangible link to her bondmate. She let her fingers trace over the metal grip for a few moments. It was the one last moment of weakness she allowed herself. With a deliberate gesture, she opened her fingers and let the Carnifex drop into the dirt. At the precise moment that it hit, Liara spun and used her momentum to hurl a warp field at Aegir. It was merely the opening salvo. Even as Aegir easily avoided it, Liara was moving across the space between them. She slammed her body into the ground, almost feeling fields rippling past her body as she rolled. Before she had even positioned herself into a stable crouch, she extended her barrier in time to block the subsequent attacks. Violent warp fields undulated across her shields, but they held.

"It seems as if I finally have a fight on my hands," Aegir laughed.

Liara was no longer interested in words. She had exchanged enough words with Aegir during their previous meetings. All those words had served to do was flame the irrational anger and hatred they felt for towards one another. The pain radiating throughout her body reminded her that the time remaining to her was limited. It was imperative that she finish what Aegir had started.

They traded biotic attacks as though it was a game – back and forth - although if one of them slipped up it would mean death as opposed to a lost point. Warp fields, singularities, stasis bubbles – each came as naturally as breathing to both asari. Aegir's experience surpassed Liara's by centuries, but the younger asari was driven by pain. Experience gave Aegir an edge through focus and refined techniques. It was the reason she had defeated Liara twice already. However, it was the victor who was lulled into complacency.

Everything about pain meant that it was supposed to be a limitation. Instead Liara used what Aegir had done to her to fuel a fury of the likes of which she had never thought herself capable. She knew that its intensity would consume her from the inside, but she did not care. There was just one more battle to fight, and then she could rest.

As she deftly avoided a stasis bubble that could have rendered her helpless, Liara summoned fields to both her hands and pushed them forward. The intense wave of dark energy surged at Aegir like a current. It slammed into her barriers with such ferocity that it drove her back several metres. Her feet left deep rivets in the dirt. Although Aegir did not lose her footing, she was unbalanced enough for her barrier to falter. The split second that it went down, Liara unleashed Stasis yet again. Aegir tried to dart away but her reactions were too slow. With her limbs pinned in place by the field, she could do nothing as Liara detonated the bubble with Throw. It was precisely the same attack that Aegir used to debilitate her on Thessia, but Liara took no satisfaction in seeing her crumple to the ground.

Bloodied and dazed, Aegir appeared as though she was trying to claw her way back to her feet in the wake of the explosion. Crippled by pain, Liara tried to cross the distance between them so she could end the fight. She managed two steps before she was driven to her knees. The scream that she had restrained finally erupted – a tortured wail ripped out from her core. Ahead of her she was aware that Aegir had risen to her feet. In mere moments, the advantage that she had created disappeared and her chance was lost. Already she could see Aegir savouring the reversal of their positions with a triumphant sneer.

Drawing momentum from her scream, Liara threw her body forward. In the blink of an eye, the distance between them disappeared. Aegir's expression remained fixed on her face, albeit incongruously, even as Liara drove her fist through her chest. Blue skin rent asunder, bones splintered and ruptured organs burst in one savage movement. The sneer finally disappeared as blood bubbled grotesquely from Aegir's lips.

In hindsight, Liara didn't know whether she initiated the meld, or it was Aegir's last act before she died. However, with the stench of death choking her nostrils, she desperately wanted to understand.

_Liara thought she had somehow slipped into one of her own memories. She was a very young child, standing between her mother and another adult asari. However, it took merely a glance up at her mother's face to realise that it could not possibly be her own memory. Benezia was too young – barely a Matron as opposed to the ageless Matriarch that was mother to Liara T'Soni._

" _Mother," she heard herself whisper. It was not Liara's voice._

_It was then that she realised the object of their combined attentions – not so much an object as a dead thing. Whatever it was had obviously been alive at some point. There was blackened fur and a hint of blood, but beyond that the creature was mangled and unrecognisable. Somewhere in the distance another young asari was sobbing. Her fingers curled into clenched fists and she realised that she wanted the bitch to shut up. She felt no sorrow in staring at the dead thing – only an irrational satisfaction._

" _Tell me the truth, daughter," Benezia spoke in a harsh voice that expected instant compliance. "Do you know what happened to Veryssa's pet?"_

" _No, Mother," she replied. "I was at my studies on the opposite side of the atrium when I heard Veryssa scream. Please…Mother, I-I do not like being so close to it…the blood-" She cut herself off with a choked sob. The artifice came all too easily._

" _It is alright, Isini." It was the other adult asari who spoke. Her voice was soothing as she reached out to stroke the child's cheek. "I thank you for your presence, Benezia. Perhaps it would be best if the child were to go home?"_

" _I also think that would be best." There was none of the same sympathy evident in Benezia's tone._

_When she took Isini by the arm, her nails dug into her flesh. She waited until the pair of them were outside the grounds of the athenaeum before speaking to her daughter. When the question came, Isini was expecting both it and her mother's anger. What she did not expect was the abject anguish that marred her usually proud, haughty features. Instead of retaining an icy distance, Benezia went onto one knee and took her daughter by the shoulders._

" _Why did you do it?" she asked._

_Isini looked around in case their atypical behaviour was being observed. Even her young mind knew that her mother was debasing herself by showing so much emotion in public. Had this been Thessia instead of a mere backward colony, Benezia would never have paraded herself in such a manner. The only emotion Isini felt in turn was disgust._

_Isini was still young enough to have to fumble for the right words to deceive Benezia. "Lie to you? Mother, I-"_

" _Why did you do…that to your friend's pet?" Benezia asked in a broken voice._

_A snarl escaped her lips at her Mother's choice of words. "Veryssa is not my friend!" she spat vehemently. "She is a stinking, rotten pureblood and it was only a stupid pet!"_

_The memory faded abruptly and another took its place. Benezia was once again at the heart of the memory, but any trace of weakness had vanished from her beautiful features. She stared at her daughter with unbridled revulsion. Isini stared back at her through the powerful barrier that separated them. There were other asari standing near her mother, but she did not recognise them save that one was a local councillor – also highly ranked in Lusia's central government. The other two wore strange uniforms – more than likely commandos._

" _The authorities can only hold her for a further day. They have absolutely no evidence as to whether she was involved," the councillor commented, casting Isini a furtive glance._

" _I know she did it," Benezia said with barely a trace of emotion in her voice._

" _Your daughter is twenty-nine!" the councillor protested. "You cannot seriously believe-"_

" _I assure you I can, Matriarch. Will you grant me what I ask?"_

_The Matriarch bowed her head. "Of course, Benezia T'Soni. The Lusian Council is pleased to acquiesce to your wishes."_

" _I give my complete consent for you to take her." Benezia turned to the two commandos. "On the condition that she never leave the monastery for the rest of her life."_

" _Understood, Mistress. Your daughter will be-"_

" _She is not my daughter!" Benezia hissed._

_Her voice succeeded in cowing all three into utter silence. As she turned to leave, the only one who dared talk was the daughter she had just denied. Isini threw herself against the barrier, ignoring the pain it sent throughout her body to reach out toward her Mother._

" _You cannot seriously intend this, Mother!" The first twinge of panic was starting to creep into her carefully composed exterior. "I promise you it was an accident!"_

_Although Benezia could obviously not bring herself to look her in the eye, she shook her head. "How could I possibly have created a monster like you?" she whispered, barely loud enough to reach Isini's ears. "I gave you everything."_

_The next memory was far shorter – more a series of chaotic images overlapping to create a cohesive whole. Isini remembered the being on board the ship en route to the monastery. She was not Ardat-Yakshi, but she was being sent into exile as one. The weight of what she had done finally beginning to sink into her conscience. The other maiden had done nothing more than spurn her advances. The way she had brushed Isini aside had been cruel, but it was not deserving of death. The sharp biotic shove had intended to scare her, nothing more. How could she have known that the maiden's biotic skills were insufficient to arrest her fall?_

_Then she remembered the moment the attack had come. The entire ship shook beneath the brunt of the initial assault. In her cell, she was powerless as Batarian slavers swamped the lightly armed transport ship. The young asari was clearly one of their greatest prizes. She'd fought of course, but her efforts earned her only a bloodied nose, a pair of manacles and a heavy collar around her neck. As they dragged her back to their own vessel, she silently begged for her mother's forgiveness._

From that point everything unfolded in slow motion. The sounds and smells were amplified a hundred-fold, and yet Liara felt a ruthless sense of detachment as she watched Aegir's body slump to the ground. The sightless eyes of her dead sister stared beseechingly up at her as the body paused on its knees. Eventually it toppled to the dust at her feet and landed with a dull thud.

Some time passed without Liara being aware of its passage. Scattered gunshots did not stir a response, nor did the sound of her name being yelled out across a distance. She stood staring down at the corpse with Aegir's blood continuing to drip from her fingers into the dust below.

* * *

 

As a spacer kid, Shepard had missed out on one of childhood's greatest lessons – that dirt tastes like shit. She regained consciousness with a thick coating of Intai'sei's red soil on her tongue and insides of her cheeks. When she tried to cough, her mouth was so dry that it emerged as a cloud in front of her face. It was only when she fumbled for her canteen that she realised she hadn't bothered to bring one. Shepard did not know whether it was a case of neglect on her part, or if she'd been so trusting of Cerberus that she had expected everything to unfold according to plan. At some point, she had been caught in a biotic explosion. She remembered her shields reacting to the warp field and then the sinking realisation in her stomach that she was lit up like a Christmas tree. From that point she had very little recollection other than being hurled through the air like a rag doll.

"Hey, Skipper." She hadn't realised that Ashley was even kneeling in front of her as she picked herself up. "You okay?"

"What?" Shepard's ears were still ringing.

Ashley reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. "Are. You. Okay?"

"Um…" Everything seemed to be in order. For one thing, she still had four, fully functional limbs and a head attached to her shoulders. At least one marine was thinking clearly – Ashley held out her canteen. When Shepard reached out to accept it, she realised her hand was shaking. The metal rattled against her teeth as she drank, but the lukewarm liquid did much to rinse away the foul taste in her mouth and restore her mental faculties. "Thanks, Ash."

Shepard paused and assessed her body for a few moments. Her shields had absorbed the brunt of the biotic detonation. She remembered that she had been desperately searching for someone when she was hit. It took a few seconds longer than usual for the connection between her brain and her limbs to work, but she clawed her way to her feet with Ashley's help.

"You should-"

Shepard cut her off. "Liara?"

Ashley shook her head reluctantly. "I haven't…I mean, I didn't see her, Skipper. She was there and then the damn mercs were all over us."

"What's the butcher's bill?" Shepard asked. She continued to scan the surrounding desert.

"One marine dead, two severely wounded…including Tali, I-" Ashley's voice faltered. "Her suit was pretty badly ruptured."

As her heart sank, Shepard remembered how the plucky little Quarian had cajoled her out of the dying Collector ship. They'd been through too much together for her to die on this shithole of a planet. Shepard dragged her gaze away from the horizon. "I want everyone back on the shuttle and on their way back to the _Normandy_ five minutes ago. Let Chakwas know we've got incoming-"

"Skip-"

"That was an order, LC, not a request!" Shepard interrupted. "Cortez can come back for us." _Us,_ Shepard thought resolutely. _Liara and I – because there is still an 'us' to come back for._

Retaining only Ashley's canteen and several spare thermal clips, Shepard did not pause to watch the shuttle claw its way into the sky. Alone on the surface, she broke into a run as she made for higher ground. It was far too generous to call the small mound a 'hill', but it almost proved too much for her to walk to the top. With her breath rattling in her throat, the first sight Shepard saw was a lone asari standing less than one hundred metres away.

"Liara," The first attempt emerged as a breathless whisper. "Liara!" She knew the second shout must have carried across the distance, but there was no response.

Her legs began moving almost of their own volition, too quickly for her brain to keep up. She was saved from having to walk down the mound by falling and rolling down one side. Scrambling to her feet, Shepard covered the rest of the distance in an exhausted sprint. In her mind her legs worked better, however in reality the best she could manage was an awkward, drunken gait that seemed to take an age to reach Liara.

Her mind was screaming at her to take her bondmate into her arms, but she forced herself to stop just short. Desperately short of breath, Shepard slowed to a stumble. She took in the scene in front of her. Liara was facing the opposite direction, standing over a body that could only be Isini Aegir.

"Liara?" she asked cautiously.

"Hello, Shepard," Liara said softly.

Her tone was so nonchalant that it was as though Shepard had just strolled into her bondmate's quarters after nothing more strenuous or life-threatening than a physical workout. However, when Liara slowly turned, the very real horror of what she had been through was etched on her face – literally. The paper-thin garment she had been wearing was in tatters. Parts of it clung to her shoulder, but it had been torn down the middle to expose her torso and much of her left thigh. Although her body was covered in untold scrapes and dried blood, what made Shepard pause was her lover's skin. She took several steps forward, confirming with her own eyes that the previously light markings along Liara's crest-line had darkened to the point where they were purple. In several places, the mottled colouring extended back down the length of her crests. However, the changes appeared cosmetic, her wounds would heal and there was no further sign of a transformation into a Banshee. It was still Liara standing in front of her.

Shepard suddenly saw Liara's knees buckle beneath her weight. She found enough energy to dart forward and catch her before she hit the ground. As she folded the asari gently in her arms, Shepard did her best to assess Liara's wounds. Most were superficial, barely even requiring an application of medi-gel. Her breath caught audibly when she noticed Liara's blood covered arm.

"It's not mine." Liara interrupted her as she tried to examine it.

Shepard's gaze went to the body in front of them. When she saw the gaping exit wound in Aegir's back, she realised exactly how Liara had killed her. Try as she might, she could summon very little satisfaction in gloating over the body of someone who had taken a perverse pleasure in trying to kill her on several occasions. The very brutal nature of what Liara had done to Aegir made it seem redundant.

She opened the canteen with awkward movements of her fingers. "Here," she said as she gently pressed it to Liara's lips.

Liara drank greedily, draining almost half before she'd had her fill. Some of the life returned to her eyes, but the haunted look would not leave her as she stared up at Shepard. "Is there a special place in hell reserved for those who kill their own blood?" she eventually asked.

"You didn't kill your mother, Liara. I did," Shepard explained patiently. They'd been through it all once before, almost three years ago.

Her head lolled from side to side. "Not Benezia…her daughter."

The frown that creased Shepard's brow was a deep one indeed. "I'm afraid you've lost me there."

Somewhere, Liara found the energy to turn her head. She felt she needed to look at Aegir's body as she spoke. Her voice was halting and quiet. "I could never bring myself to ask Benezia why she decided to wait until her Matriarch stage before she had a daughter. I think…had I asked her, I would have seen pain…possibly guilt, in her eyes. I, who thought I was her first and only, was her second."

"Aegir…Aegir was the first?" Shepard had to struggle to force the words out. She could see no correlation between the savage lying dead in the dirt and the beautiful asari she cradled in her arms.

"Isini T'Soni," Liara croaked. "My sister." Something drove her to reach out towards the body. With her arm extended, she could touch Isini's crest with a bloody finger. "She was a monster…but she was also my sister."

"You can't feel any sympathy for her," Shepard responded in a harsher voice than she had intended. She was angry that Liara would waste breath on an individual who had nearly succeeded in destroying them both. "She tried to turn you into a fucking Banshee."

"I thought she had," Liara whispered. "I was in pain, I could feel my body changing." With great effort, she lifted her hand to Shepard's cheek. She was too tired to hold it there, but Shepard soon held it up with her own hand. "Evan…the pistol…I was desperate-"

"Hey," Shepard interrupted quickly. That was one image she wanted to excise from her mind at all costs. "You're exhausted…rest. I'm going to see if I can find us some shade before we're both crispy fried by this fucking sun."

With that, Shepard scooped Liara up in her arms. She tried to make the movement seem as effortless as possible so Liara would not realise that she was equally as exhausted. It was slightly more difficult to make her feet work properly, but Liara seemed to be hovering on the verge of unconsciousness and did not notice her awkward gait.

"Evan?" Liara's voice was thick with fatigue.

"Yeah?" It was an effort for Shepard to force the single word out. She pressed forward - only a few more steps and they'd be out of the scorching sun.

"I am…hungry."

Had Shepard not been racked with concern for her bondmate and Tali, she would have laughed with relief at the sheer normalcy of the simple statement. Liara was hungry – that could only be a good thing. She grunted slightly as she eased Liara down onto a shaded patch of dirt. "When we're back on the _Normandy,_ you can eat all the chicken substitute and powdered eggs you can handle."

* * *

 

**Cronos Station, Anadius, Horsehead Nebula**

It was easy enough for Dr Emilie Davin to lose herself in the pure science of the work she was doing. Over the past half dozen years she'd spent working for Cerberus it had become almost second nature to block everything else out and focus on those elements that were both fascinating and rewarding – as opposed to those that turned her stomach _. Stop trying to guilt trip yourself over that asari_ , she thought with a ragged sigh. _What would you have done differently to save her? Gone up against that insane bitch yourself?_ As Davin walked, she looked ahead to the back of Dr Laurent Sensier. Her lab partner had little in the way of a conscience and absolutely no sense of empathy. All he cared about was the effect of the latest mission on his standing within Cerberus.

Davin had been trying not to look at the stasis pod that was secured to the trolley in front of her. She was just grateful for the fact that one of the assistants was pushing it. Even just being near the so-called Catalyst was enough to send all sorts of strange sensations shooting down her spine. Whether it was alive or not, Davin had an uneasy feeling about what they had just done. The Illusive Man had risked everything for an object that no one understood, lest of all Cerberus.

The small procession made their way through into the heart of the research laboratories on Cronos Station – Davin and Sensier's base of operations. Up ahead she could see the Illusive Man waiting for their arrival. Usually he dragged on his cheroot in a lazy fashion. Davin thought now that his movements betrayed some sort of urgency in the quick, almost furtive puffs.

"Sir, we have had reports that there was bitter fighting on Intai'sei in the wake of our departure." Davin looked across to the speaker but the Illusive Man paid him little heed. "Do we have a recommended response?"

"Aegir," the Illusive Man sneered. He still did not bother to grace the underling with a glance. "Do nothing, if I believed in luck then perhaps she would rid the galaxy of the irritation that is Commander Shepard. Doctors, I believe you have a gift for me?"

The enthusiasm in his voice was distinctive, but hardly infectious. Davin hung back, trusting that Sensier would want to take every ounce of the credit for the retrieval of the Catalyst. Even as her partner stepped forward, she noticed something exceptionally strange. After six years, most spent on Cronos Station itself, Davin prided herself on knowing the personnel by sight and most by name. Standing off to one side, behind several of the lab technicians, stood a man that she could swear she had never laid eyes on. Although she was immediately struck by his square-jawed good looks, she soon realised that he was not wearing a Cerberus uniform – in fact, it looked decidedly like something worn by an Alliance soldier. Davin blinked and he was gone.

_That's ridiculous._ She gave her head a slight, imperceptible shake to restore normalcy. Somewhere in the room people were talking, but all Davin could think about was the disappearing man. I'm s _eeing people? I blame the lack of eligible man candy on this station._ Davin had almost managed to restore a sense of outward focus when she felt a presence just over her shoulder. Without turning to look, she knew it was him.

_Who the hell are you?_ she wanted to ask. If she gave voice to her thoughts, no doubt everyone in the lab would be aware of her diminishing grasp of reality.

_A friend._ The quiet voice intruded on her consciousness as sharply as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over her head. _And I desperately need your help, Emilie. I need you to walk over to that console, and release the containment fields on the pod._

Davin finally managed to turn her head. A small smile creased his face – it made his eyes twinkle as though he had a joke he was about to share. Releasing the containment fields was out of the question at that point in time. There were a myriad of tests to be conducted – all in a carefully controlled environment. She couldn't just…

Almost as though she was not acting of her own volition, Davin began walking across the short space between her and the console. No one even paid her any attention until she extended her hands and rapidly began punching in the sequence.

"Dr Davin, would you care to explain what you are doing?"

She immediately recognised Sensier's voice - steeped in the same condescending tone he always used in her presence. It wasn't until that moment that she realised how much she truly hated the man and all he stood for.

"Not really, Laurent," she replied in a satisfied voice. With the last few commands entered, Davin finally felt as though she could say she had done something worthwhile during her time with Cerberus. Not to mention the fact that she enjoyed the expressions on both Sensier's and the Illusive Man's faces immensely when she turned to face them.

"What the hell-" Sensier pushed past her on his way to the console. His shove was so violent it knocked her to the deck. "The pod is losing integrity…rapidly. These readings from the Catalyst…they're…"

As he fumbled for an explanation, Davin watched the strange Alliance soldier stride into their midst. From the expression on the Illusive Man's face, she knew that she was no longer the only person seeing things. She knew then that this was no man – he was a personification of the Catalyst. As Davin came to understand exactly what it had intended by having her release its shackles, she felt an odd sense of resignation. _At least I will have managed to get one thing right before I die,_ Emilie Davin thought as she closed her eyes.

"Who are you?" The Illusive Man's tone was dismissive, even as several of his troops were propelled into a protective response. His gaze narrowed as the features triggered a fleeting memory entwined with Shepard's pre-Cerberus past. "Alenko?"

A grin lit up the face of the lone Alliance soldier. He stood at the very heart of Cerberus' organisation, in the presence of the Illusive Man himself, and he had just one thing he needed to say before his long vigil finally ended, "Shepard sends her regards."

For the Illusive Man, there was merely a split second between realisation dawning and the cataclysmic explosion that radiated outwards from the Catalyst. The empire he had created and the potential to come, the very soul of Cerberus, was ripped apart and extinguished amidst flame and fury.

 


	32. Synthetic Protein Product

**SSV _Glasgow_**

"Hey, Park!"

The energetic hail would have been difficult to ignore had Lucy been so inclined. However, she recognised the jovial tone immediately. She spun in her chair to see Specialist Beatrice Brooke waving at her with the hand that wasn't carrying her heavy toolkit. Grateful for the distraction from her console, a broad grin spread across Lucy's face. Given that she had only been on the SSV _Glasgow_ for a few days, she'd barely had a chance to learn names let alone make a friend. Bea however, was not the sort of woman to walk past a new face in the corridor without cajoling a name and whatever else she could out of the poor FNG.

"Specialist Brooke," Lucy replied in greeting. "Do you ever respect rank? Or is it just me?"

"Hell, don't be offended, girl. The only person that ever gets a 'ma'am' out of me is HRH herself," Bea admitted. "And that's because I've got better things to do than end up on charge."

Bea's accent was unfathomable, but the woman herself was straight talking and gregarious. She was a small, compact woman with thick cords of muscles showing below her rolled-back sleeves. Her greying hair was kept close cropped against her scalp. There were smile lines around her eyes and the corners of her mouth. Lucy couldn't even guess her age.

The 'HRH' Bea was referring to was Her Royal Highness, Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard. Lucy's initial veneration had quickly tapered off when she realised that the elder Shepard was a martinet. While men and women followed Commander Shepard into battle because they respected her, they followed the Rear Admiral because they were too shit-scared not to.

"Whatcha up to?" Bea dumped the tool kit on the deck with a heavy thud and flexed the obviously aching muscles in her arms. She had yet more tools in a satchel slung over one shoulder.

"Six-monthly job appraisals," Lucy muttered. She was disgruntled and embarrassed enough about it without having to inform someone. When Anderson had assigned her to the Crucible Project, she at least thought she'd be doing something worthwhile. Now she suspected that he had purposefully found her an undemanding assignment because of her injury.

"No fucking way!" Bea whistled. "The Galaxy is fighting for its life and HRH has you doing fucking admin? That is some seriously fucked up shit. Hey, tell ya what, why don't you come and help this old girl out instead?"

Lucy frowned. "How could I help you?"

"I'm on my way over to the Crucible. I could seriously do with a hand-"

"I don't know the first thing about tools, Bea," Lucy interrupted in protest. Her gaze darted nervously around in case Shepard was prowling about as she was prone to do. However, she could not deny that the prospect of being inside the Crucible had her feeling slightly giddy. "And besides, my work-"

"Appraisals? You've got to be shitting me." Bea unslung the satchel she was carrying and held it out to Lucy. "C'mon, make yourself useful for once, desk jockey." It was said in jest. One of the first questions Bea had asked Lucy was what piece of shit had given her the pronounced limp. By the end of that initial conversation, Bea had coaxed almost everything out of her – Earth, the resistance, Anderson saving her life…and Susannah. "You're not going to leave me hanging are you?"

"Would I?" Lucy replied with an eager grin. She stood up and claimed the satchel from Bea. It was heavier than it looked, but she did her best to appear nonchalant as she slung it over her shoulders. "Let's get the hell out of here before HRH shows up."

With her body gripped with the tingly feeling of insubordinate behaviour, Lucy limped out of the _Glasgow's_ administration hub after Bea. The usually spritely Specialist casually slowed her pace so that Lucy could keep up. Despite the odd sort of satisfaction she found in breaking the rules for the first time in her career, Lucy couldn't suppress the dread feeling that her escape would be cut short by Hannah Shepard. Lucy had worked for and alongside several assholes during her five years in the military, but her latest boss took the cake for being offensive, callous and downright inhuman.

"Hey, Bea?" She deliberately lowered her voice close to a whisper. "Do you know why Rear Admiral Shepard is…well, the way she is?"

"What, a tight arse bitch?" Bea had no such compunctions about being overheard. "I think she was probably just born that way. Why d'ya ask?"

"I don't know," Lucy mused. "I guess I just expected her to be more like her daughter."

"I already know you've got a serious hard-on for Commander Shepard, kid." Bea laughed, ignoring Lucy's attempt to protest. "Considering she was practically single-handed fighting the Reapers while the rest of the Galaxy was sitting around scratching their collective arses, I'd say she was alright."

Lucy grinned. Although she did not know Commander Shepard well, she had a feeling that the soldier would like the straight-talking Specialist. Talking about Shepard brought her mind back to a conversation she had overheard between Admiral Hackett and Shepard's mother that morning. Although she had only managed to make out a few words, the tone of the conversation was distinctly grim. When she had caught a glimpse of the Rear Admiral's face as Hackett walked away, it had been a ghostly pale. In that moment Lucy had briefly wondered if she had been harsh to judge her superior. The expression on her face hinted at the possibility that she was frightened for her daughter. However, it lasted less than a few seconds. With her next breath, Hannah Shepard was assigning Lucy the dreaded appraisals and her judgement had swung right back to certified bitch.

"Still, if Shepard doesn't come through with this goddamn Catalyst…then it's safe to say we're all fucked," Bea announced cheerfully as they entered an elevator.

"Do you know anything about the Catalyst?" Lucy asked eagerly, her shoulder was already beginning to ache slightly so she was grateful for the brief rest during the ride down to the shuttle deck.

"Scuttlebutt says it's something small, but beyond that? No fucking idea. It's not like the boffins talk to us grease monkeys." The doors swished open and Bea strode out in the massive hanger beyond. "There's our ride up ahead."

Lucy noticed the security surrounding the shuttles and her stomach twisted in fear. She reached out and grabbed Bea's arm before they approached the gun-toting marines. "You know they're not just going to let me walk onto the Crucible. This was a bad idea-"

Bea reached down to pluck a datapad out of one of the pockets of her cargos. With a reluctant Lucy still in tow, she handed it over to the Gunnery Chief in charge of the marine detail.

"Hey, Bea, how's business?" he asked as he carefully scanned their authorisation.

"Same shit, different day." Bea shrugged.

"Let's see…all looks in order, approved by Shepard." The Chief gave them both a nod. "You're good to go."

"Thanks, Chief. You still owe me that Skyllian-Five rematch. Gotta give a girl a chance to win her money back...and my bloody shirt!"

Lucy hustled to keep up with Bea as she moved off towards their shuttle. It was difficult to keep an incredulous expression from appearing on her face. "Shepard approved this?" she demanded.

"Yep," Bea drawled, climbing up into the shuttle. "Hey, Gazza, your VIPs have arrived!" she announced their presence to the pilot.

"You led me to think I was bunking off!" Lucy protested indignantly.

"So, felt good didn't it?"

"How the hell did you-"

Bea grinned. "I knew HRH when we were both sprogs flying out of Arcturus."

It turned out that the shuttle's pilot was yet another old friend of Bea's. Lucy spent the shuttle ride over to the Crucible up front in the co-pilot's seat, her eyes wide when the alien-designed machine filled the entire window. She had never been much for technology. She'd graduated from University with an arts degree. Susannah had always teased her mercilessly that she'd spent her time studying Earth history when there was an entire Galaxy to be explored. It was Susannah who had a passion for anything with thrusters – usually the faster, the better. In truth, being able to quote Shakespeare and play chess counted for little out in the real world, but Lucy found solace in knowing that they were fighting to preserve a way of life. She instinctively patted her pocket, feeling the reassuring presence of her battered photo of Susannah.

"Fucking impressive ain't it?" Bea announced ten minutes later as they stepped out of the airlock and into the Crucible itself.

Lucy searched for something to say…but in all truth, it wasn't impressive in the slightest. She found herself standing inside a long, unfinished corridor. They might as well have been standing in the middle of a run-of-the-mill transport ship plying the Terminus Systems.

"Well…"

Bea slapped her on the shoulder and laughed. "Hold that thought, kid."

Although Lucy tried to do as she was told, she found all rational thoughts driven from her mind just five minutes later. If she had thought the Crucible was simply a warren of purpose-like corridors and hastily assembled technology, she was proven wrong when Bea led her out onto a catwalk. Lucy followed the Specialist without thinking. Her boots went from the relatively solidity of the deck, to the hollow sound made as they clunked against a thin catwalk. Lucy gripped the railing in front of her as she found herself staring at the largest enclosed space she had ever seen. The catwalk clung precariously to the side of a colossal sphere. Ahead of her, there was nothing except space. Although Lucy couldn't begin to guess how big its radius was, she guessed that it would be measured in kilometres. When she peered over the railing, she felt a sudden rush of vertigo that drove her backwards against the side of the sphere.

Ahead of her, Bea laughed again. "Like I said, impressive."

"And the rest," Lucy mumbled.

Bea was already well in front, but Lucy did not hurry in her efforts to catch up. She took each step gingerly, as though the catwalk might give way beneath their combined weight. It wasn't difficult to imagine someone like Susannah seizing the opportunity to lean out over the railing and yell at the top of their lungs. It was all Lucy could do to press one shoulder up against the side of the sphere and fix her gaze on Bea's back. She'd already discovered that looking at her feet was worse. She could see straight through the catwalk.

"You coming or what?" Bea demanded. The tool kit hit the metal with an exceptionally loud clunk that was swallowed by the sphere. "It's perfectly safe." As if to prove just how safe it was, she jumped up and down a few times.

Lucy did not appreciate the demonstration. "Fuck off, Bea!" she yelped. "You might have explained this before you invited me along!"

Bea knelt to open the tool kit. She selected a thin instrument and began to work at unscrewing the panel in front of her. The metallic whirr of the screwdriver gave Lucy something to focus on. "Do you mind if I have a go?" she asked hopefully.

"I have never seen anyone so excited about a screwdriver." Bea passed it over. "Knock yourself out, kid."

She took the opportunity to draw out a small tin case of cigarettes. Lucy glanced across a minute later to see her happily puffing clouds of smoke that was soon lost in the void beyond. With a grin, she turned her attention back to attacking the tiny screws. _Beats the hell out of doing job appraisals_.

* * *

 

**SSV _Glasgow_**

Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard placed her nose close to the steaming cup and inhaled deeply. It was real, honest-to-goodness coffee – not the instant crap they served up in the mess hall. She placed the cup back on her desk and studied the dregs in the bottom of her cafetière forlornly. It was her one vice, and this was the last of it. She couldn't bring herself to throw even the empty packet away, so she folded in and placed it on her desk. In doing so, she caught a glimpse of a picture frame, partially hidden behind a stack of datapads. Before she could stop herself, she reached forward and picked it up. John's grinning face stared back at her. His dark eyes sparkled with some unspoken joke. Almost angrily, Hannah swiped her finger across the picture to change the image. The same blue eyes stared back at her, although they were hard and focused – even in the picture. Hannah couldn't remember where or when the photo had been taken. The uniform Evangeline wore had no rank insignia and she'd had that same ratty, cheek length haircut for the better part of a decade. As she stared at it, she couldn't help but feel that there was resentment in her daughter's gaze. She set the picture down.

Her coffee was still piping hot as she took the first sip. She carefully set it down and turned her attention to the console. It was pushing 1300, she presumed that Park was well on her way across to the Crucible with Specialist Brooke. The Lieutenant had promise, but she was a little too nervous in Hannah's opinion. No doubt too many years spent working in Intelligence. _Enough to rot anyone's brain,_ Hannah thought as she started tapping on the console.

_{Rear Admiral Shepard, ma'am?}_ a nervous voice sounded over the comm.

"This had better be good, Yeoman," she growled.

_{Admiral Hackett requests your presence on the CIC…immediately, ma'am}_

Hannah paused long enough only to take a deep gulp of coffee that scorched her throat. She had the sinking suspicion that it would be cold by the time she returned for it.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw Hackett's face. The grizzled veteran had appeared unsettled for the past several days, now he was openly nervous.

"Reports are coming in of massive Reaper activity in the adjacent system. We have to get the Crucible out of here before they can cut off the Mass Relay," he informed her.

"The Catalyst-" Hannah began crisply.

"I don't know where the hell Commander Shepard is, but I can't afford to hang around here and wait for her." Hackett studied his Galaxy Map intently. "She could be caught up in the same activity for all I know."

"Sir, the _Normandy_ is just one ship-"

"The best we have-" Hackett was cut short by an urgent alarm. He looked on in horror as red dots began appearing on the map in front of him – each one indicated a Reaper, and there were at least a dozen of them. "How could they have slipped past out security net?" he whispered in horror.

Beside him, Hannah leapt onto the platform to analyse the scene for herself. "We know exactly what their target is…"

"Patch me through to Singh on the _Logan_ ," Hackett demanded. He did not even wait for Singh's response before he started talking. "Admiral, I want you to take the Third Fleet and get the Crucible the hell out of this system."

_{Admiral, the First Fleet would be better suited to escorting the Crucible}_ Nitesh Singh's voice betrayed his hesitation, even over the poor commlink.

"Punch a goddamn hole with your frigates if you have to!" Hackett continued. "The First and Fifth Fleets will hold them here for as long as possible." He knew Singh's reluctance had nothing to do with doubting his orders. There was the very real possibility that both the First and Fifth Fleets would be wiped out fighting a desperate rear-guard manoeuvre. Singh was offering to sacrifice himself. "Go to emergency protocol Delta-five – we'll rendezvous with you if we can."

_{Understood, Admiral. Singh, out}_

"Everything could end here." Hannah found the words leaving her lips as the thought came into her head.

"For the Galaxy's sake, I hope it does not," Hackett replied grimly.

She had not intended her words to be overheard. Hannah turned to see the Admiral's face set into a grim, granite mask. When she turned her attention back to the Galaxy Map, she searched the stars in a futile effort to find the one ship they needed. _Evangeline, where the hell are you?_

* * *

 

**The Crucible**

"I don't know how you can put that rubbish into your lungs." Lucy shook her head as she plucked yet another screw from the magnetised head of the screwdriver. As she slipped it into her pocket, she cast a critical scowl in Bea's direction.

The Specialist merely grinned and took one last deep drag on the remaining stub of her cigarette. "If you're gonna die, you might as well kill yourself doing something you enjoy."

Lucy let out a groan at the incorrigible Specialist. While she remained stubbornly intent on the panels in front of her to avoid looking down, Bea was perched on the edge of the catwalk with her legs dangling out into space. Her elbows were resting on the railing. There was virtually no danger of falling, but it unnerved Lucy all the same. Bea was stubbing out her cigarette on the edge of her toolbox as she removed the last screw. Determined not to have to ask for assistance, Lucy tucked the screwdriver into her satchel and took a firm grip on the panel. It was heavier than it looked but with a strangled grunt, she managed to remove it and lower it to the catwalk.

"Well, well," Bea commented. "Looks like we might make a Specialist out of you-"

The Specialist's good-natured banter was last thing Lucy heard before the exposed console exploded in her face. Before everything went black, she was aware of just one thing – she was falling.

_It was difficult for Lucy to find footholds without looking down. As soon as she did she was forced to accept the fact that she was clinging to the side of a mountain. It was ridiculous. People had absolutely no business climbing mountains, especially not one where you could comfortably walk up the other side._

" _Are you coming or what?"_

_Above her, she saw Susannah swivel in her harness and look down at her. Some of her red hair had escaped her ponytail and a grin of absolute_ _abandon was fixed firmly on her face._

_Lucy responded with a vigorous shake of her head. "No, I'm not. I want to go back down…please."_

" _Luce," Susannah said gently. "Why are you so scared?"_

" _I should think it's fucking obvious!" Lucy croaked in terror. The harness was digging painfully into her arse-crack. "I don't want to fall!"_

" _You can't fall," Susannah reassured her._

" _Don't tell me I can't fall!" Lucy's heart was hammering uncontrollably in her chest. "I will so fall and it will be all your fault for bringing me on this shitty excuse for a holiday."_

_In situations like this, Susannah had an infinite supply of patience. "Babe, trust me. When I say I've got you, I've really got you."_

"I've got you!"

The frantic shout dragged her back to reality. Before she opened her eyes, she was aware of a strange sense of weightlessness. She was flying…or falling. Lucy tried to open her eyes, but only one worked properly at that point in time. Above her, she saw the pale but calm face of Bea Brooke staring down at her. The Specialist had both hands wrapped around her wrist.

"Wha…" Lucy's mouth wouldn't work properly. Nor could she find anything solid to put her feet on. She looked down in an attempt to find the deck.

"For fuck's sake don't look down, kid!"

By the time Bea's yell came it was already too late. Through her one good eye, Lucy saw exactly why she could not find anywhere to put her feet. Somehow she'd fallen over the side of the catwalk, her legs were dangling helplessly over the void below. Bea's desperate grip around her wrist was all that was keeping her from falling. Her first instinct was to panic – to scream and plead with Bea not to let her go. However, as tears started leaking from one eye, she found a sense of strength in the unbidden memory. It had been only six months into their relationship and a mistake from the start. Lucy was still at the stage where she was insecure and struggling to convince herself that this gorgeous redhead really loved her. She was a nervous, introverted girl who had grown up in a tiny apartment in the Gwanak district of Seoul. She was not made for climbing mountains like her daring, fighter-pilot girlfriend. _Susannah got you to the top that day,_ Lucy thought with an odd sense of peace. _You didn't fall…and you're not going to fall today_.

"I can pull you up, just hold tight," Bea huffed, straining to get into a position where she could use the railing as leverage.

"I'm not going anywhere." Lucy wished her voice didn't sound so thin and frightened.

With several veins almost bursting on her face, Bea struggled to haul her upwards. As soon as she was at the level of the railing, Lucy could lift her other hand and find a grip. She didn't know how her sweaty palms held, but they did. With her legs trembling uncontrollably, Bea grabbed her by her belt and hauled her over the railing. They collapsed in a heavily breathing heap for several moments. As Lucy lay there, trying to get her heart under control, she was dimly aware of strange sounds echoing through the colossal sphere. At first they were merely eerie, however subsequent one sounded frighteningly like tearing metal.

"You look like shit, Lieutenant," Bea said. Her usual grin was gone.

Lucy felt like shit. Her left eye was completely unresponsive. All she could see was a vivid red. When she gingerly pressed the pads of her fingers around the eye socket, the touch sent hot pains shooting out across her face.

"We need to get you back to the Glasgow," Bea informed her soberly.

Bea practically dragged her to her feet and they began making their way cautiously but quickly around the edge of the sphere. The toolkit was abandoned behind them. They were a little over half way when the superstructure of the sphere beside them gave off a giant tremor. In response, the catwalk rocked violently. The pair looked at each other. A split second later, they were running. Hampered by her injured leg, Lucy could only manage an awkward gallop. Despite this, Bea remained behind her, cajoling and shoving her at every step of the way. The metal creaked and strained beneath their feet. Several times, Lucy heard the gut-wrenching sound of metal tearing free but she did not look over her shoulder to see whether it was the catwalk.

"Move your arse, kid!" The Specialist yelled.

They were almost within reach of the door. Suddenly the entire Crucible seemed to lurch. Given that it was merely a giant weapon, its design did not incorporate inertial dampeners or artificial gravity. When the Crucible moved, those inside it were thrown around like ragdolls. Lucy and Bea suddenly found themselves running on a slant. Everything happened in slow motion. Lucy was running, then her boots slipped out from beneath her and she was falling again. Her body collided with the railing, only a few bars of metal keeping her from the void below. There was a sharp cry from behind her.

"Bea!" Pinned against the railing, Lucy had to struggle to twist and crane her neck. She saw a small figure falling away from her, a look of surprise on her face. In just a second, the Specialist was a mere speck against the huge void of the sphere. "Bea."

The Crucible shifted again. Mercifully, Lucy was thrown forward through the door and out of the Sphere. She could not however regain her feet. Instead she slid down the corridor, bouncing from wall to wall as though she was trapped inside some insane fairground ride. The entire structure around her flexed and moved. It was almost as though something had picked up the Crucible and was using it like a giant baby's rattle. With her arms flailing in an attempt to arrest her momentum, Lucy saw another doorway. She scrabbled for purchase on the rough metal, scraping her hands in the process but managing to hold on. With a grunt, she hauled herself over the slanted threshold and into the room beyond.

Breathing heavily, Lucy gratefully propped her feet against a fixed console in front of her. For the time being, the Crucible had stopped moving. The sigh of relief that followed was brutally cut short. With an ear-splitting sound, the deck beneath her was ripped away.

This time, Lucy fell.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

_{Commander, Admiral Hackett for you on vid-comm}_

Shepard had barely left the Kodiak when she heard Traynor's voice in her earpiece. The Specialist was usually persistent when she had the top brass on the line, but Shepard knew Sam well enough to also detect the stress in her voice. "Stall them for five minutes, Traynor." Shepard turned to help Liara out of the shuttle. "Getting Liara to the medbay and checking on Tali are my first priorities-"

_{You need to get your arse to the comm room}_ Traynor replied quickly. _{When the Admiral said ASAP, I don't think he meant in five minutes.}_

"Shepard," Liara interrupted quietly. The asari extricated herself from Shepard's arms to stand under her own steam. "My legs still work and Dr Chakwas probably has more than enough on her hands with an anxious Turian. You have been out of contact for too long already."

Her bondmate had never looked so vulnerable. She was wrapped in a survival blanket with her dirty bare feet poking out. Shepard did not like it one bit, but she reluctantly admitted to herself that Liara was right. "Fine," she growled as the pair of them moved towards the elevator. "But I'm coming straight down to the medbay as soon as I've reassured Hackett that I have everything under control."

Shepard's intention to keep the call as brief as possible was blasted out of the airlock when Hackett and Anderson came into view. She had never seen the face of either man look as devastated as they did at that point in time. Hackett's uniform was torn in several places and he was bleeding visibly from a cut on his cheek. Anderson was only marginally less bedraggled.

"I guess it's a little late to ask where the hell you've been, Commander." Hackett's tone was severe, with unusual hints of despondency.

However severe the situation, Shepard bristled at the unspoken insinuation that she was at fault for something she did not even know about yet. "Retrieving the Catalyst, getting my marines killed and wiping the stain that was Cerberus off the face of the Galaxy," Shepard replied insolently. "The _Normandy_ will rendezvous with the Fleet in five-"

"The Crucible is gone," Hackett interrupted in a flat voice.

His words initially hit Shepard like a biotic charge from a Krogan Battlemaster. She worked quickly to recover, but there was no way she could make her reply sound intelligent or remotely helpful. "Gone? How?"

"Just after 1300, Reapers attacked our position in force." It was Anderson who responded. "Our initial response was to punch out, get the Crucible the hell out of Dodge so to speak. Despite a blockade from the First and Fifth Fleets, the Third Fleet was virtually wiped out in the attempt. They cut straight through our lines and went straight for the goddamn Crucible, Shepard."

As the magnitude of his words sank in, it was all Shepard could do to stop herself from slumping forward against the console. "The Crucible was destroyed-"

"No…taken," Hackett growled in a thick voice. Before Shepard could ask the logical question of where, he continued, "I tasked the _Trafalgar_ with following the bastards. They've taken the Crucible to Earth. The last report we had from the _Trafalgar_ said that it had crashed on the surface, taking out much of central London in the process. The fact that it appears to be intact is the only piece of good news we have. We have garbled reports of some sort of barrier around it, but whether it has been erected by the Reapers or as a result of one of the Crucible's fail-safes…I don't know."

Shepard's first response was to typically blame her actions for the catastrophe. Her shoulders sagged as she contemplated the thought that she could have made it to the Crucible before the Reapers. If only she'd not put saving Liara and getting back at Cerberus ahead of everything else. _You know full well the Normandy wouldn't have made it in time_. She wasn't sure why she was so desperate to absolve herself of responsibility. The knowledge that it was not her fault wouldn't do a thing to bring the Crucible back.

In an open display of frustration, Shepard slammed her armoured fist against the console. If it had worked against Cerberus, who was to say it wouldn't work against the Reapers? "We take the fight to the Reapers," she whispered. When she glanced up, she was struck by the realisation that both Hackett and Anderson were looking to _her_. For some reason those inane endorsements she'd done during her time with Cerberus intruded on far weightier concerns. _I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store on the Citadel._ It was pathetic – who the hell cared about the endorsement of an ex-Spectre who spent her time running around the Galaxy inventing new ways to get herself killed? The point was that people did care.

_I'm Commander Shepard_. Shepard closed her eyes, ignoring Hackett and Anderson for a few blessed seconds of peace. _I'm Commander Shepard_ , N7 operative, _ex-Spectre, and scourge in the arse of the fucking Reapers._

Shepard opened her eyes. The Reaper implants that had taken over her irises burned with an intense ferocity. "No more hiding, running or letting the Reapers piss all over us. We gather up whatever forces we have left and we take the fight to them. We take back Earth!"

Hackett leaned forward, his steely gaze burning. "You're talking about an all-out assault-"

"It will mean the end of the war…one way or another." Anderson nodded in agreement. One last roll of the dice.

"The _Normandy_ will rendezvous with the Fleet in a little over four hours. That should give you time to put the world out and gather together as many ships as you can. Work out a plan of assault that will draw them away from London. We just need to carve a path through to the Crucible for the Catalyst."

"I suppose you intend to lead that push, Commander?" Hackett assumed.

"Yessir I do," Shepard responded with a curt nod. "I'm the fucking Catalyst."

* * *

 

The gut-wrenching reality of the conversation with Hackett and Anderson had swiftly sapped what little reserves Shepard had left. The fact was that potential victory was no longer a matter of simply arriving at the Crucible and offering herself up as a human battery. They had to fight their way to Earth - possibly straight into a trap - and rely on the Crucible still being operational. It was her trip through the Omega-4 relay multiplied by a hundred.

With her mind still processing their next step, Shepard had gone to the medbay. The sight of Tali shrouded beneath an isolation tent felt like a punch in the gut. Her friend seemed tiny and helpless as she struggled to fight off half a dozen infections – any one of which were life-threatening for a Quarian. Tali had both Garrus and Ashley standing by the tent already. It was all Shepard could do to offer hollow words of support right before she quietly informed them that they were going to Earth. She felt she did not deserve the fervent responses and support they gave her. Ashley was already muttering something about needing to strip down her Black Widow before they shipped out.

The one person missing from the medbay was Liara. A haggard looking Chakwas informed Shepard that the stubborn asari had already discharged herself. Even as she growled in frustration, Shepard knew she had not expected Liara to stay where she was told.

Completely drained and incapable of much beyond dragging one foot after the other, Shepard was relieved to finally enter her own quarters. The door to the loft closed behind her – creating a small haven of silence for a few hours at least. As she passed her fish tank, she tapped on finger gently against the glass. Horatio Nelson darted out from amongst the weeds and flitted back and forth just beyond the glass. At first she envied the little guy in his safe environment – food on tap, all that space to roam and no one shooting at him.

"You're still risking your life," Shepard said quietly. When she sprinkled a few flakes of food into the tank, he began chasing them along the currents with great enthusiasm. "This ship goes boom, so do you."

_Let's hope that doesn't happen_. The last thing Shepard wanted was to lose a second _Normandy_ out from beneath her – and she'd already lost more than enough fish. When she continued down into the loft, she was unsurprised to find Liara waiting for her. Although her first instinct was to gather her bondmate up into her arms, she paused in the middle of her quarters. During the silence, she found herself remembering the moments she had shared with Liara in the space. Most of them were pleasant – scant hours of love-making rushed between missions and the urgent need for sleep, waking up together, even the hair-butchering incident.

This was another such moment – albeit painfully bittersweet. She wanted to hold onto the image of Liara sitting on her sofa. All that Liara had endured over the past day was evidenced by the dirt and blood still crusted on her pale blue skin and the suffering in her gaze. Liara was clothed at least, having raided Shepard’s wardrobe. No fewer than three foil trays lay scattered on the table. Each one had been completely divested of its contents down to the last dregs. A fourth sat partially eaten on her lap, now ignored with Shepard's presence.

Shepard wanted to hold onto the complete picture in her mind. Everything was about as far from perfect as it was possible to be for the young asari. She'd been through hell, yet there was still a smile on her face. It was impossible for Shepard to respond with one of her own. Not when she had a piece of knowledge that would strip Liara's future from her.

For a few awful moments she wished that she had been able to put her relationship with Liara behind her. If she'd been resilient enough, she could have ignored her feelings when she saw Liara on Mars. As a Prothean expert, Liara would have been assigned to the Crucible Project. The great Commander Shepard would have been free to sacrifice herself for the Galaxy with a clear conscience.

The moment passed in the blink of an eye. Shepard knew she would never have made it this far without her bondmate. It was Liara who dragged her out of the Hallows on Tuchanka. Without her, she'd be a bloody stain on the belly of a Thresher Maw. On Rannoch, she would have been a piece of burnt toast courtesy of a Geth Prime.

Shepard let out a broken breath. "Liara-"

Liara had already started to stand before Shepard spoke. The foil tray was discarded onto the table. "Evan, please-" When Shepard did not continue, she did, "-I know you have something to tell me. I do not have to be bonded to you to see your pain. It is written all over your face. I want you to do something for me first."

Shepard swallowed. "Of course, whatever you want." _Maybe I shouldn't have spoken so soon-_

"Have a shower with me," Liara said simply.

"A shower?" _Shit._ "Liara, I-I..."

Slightly taken aback by Shepard's reluctance, Liara frowned. "Is something wrong?"

_What? Did you expect she wouldn't have to see you naked again?_ "No, absolutely not - a shower would be bloody brilliant." Shepard relaxed at the same moment that Liara did. She held out her hand, Liara crossed the deck and tucked her fingers into Shepard's. "You are undoubtedly filthy."

"And I take it that you have not looked in a mirror, Evangeline Shepard," Liara replied.

It was a simple matter for Liara to strip her borrowed clothes from her body. She found Shepard still struggling with the zip on her suit and padded across the cold tiles to help her. Shepard reluctantly relinquished her hold on the zipper. As Liara peeled it downwards so she could slip the garment from her shoulders, she felt her entire body tense. Shepard had done her best to avoid examining her body in the wake of Traynor's unabashed stare, however Liara's stunned expression told her that her scars were just as extensive, if not even more so.

"Goddess!" The appalled whisper left her lips at the same moment that she extended a trembling hand towards Shepard's ruined skin. The undersuit was momentarily left forgotten, hanging around her waist. Her fingers stopped just short of touching the deep, orange tears that criss-crossed Shepard's chest.

"You can touch them, they don't hurt," Shepard said in a mechanical voice.

When Liara's reluctance to do so became clear, she reached out and took her hand. She drew her in the last distance. The touch did not hurt, but Shepard did feel an odd prickly sensation as Liara began to trace the scars with the tips of her fingers. Those that covered her chest were a morass that had almost completely consumed the pale skin between her breasts. Several jagged tears extended downwards over her abdomen. While the scars were concentrated over her heart, they also appeared at seemingly random points on the rest of her body. Her upper arms, thighs, even her feet. With a gentle pressure, Liara made her turn around. Shepard glanced over her shoulder and caught a view of herself in the mirror. The criss-crossed scars made it appear as though someone had flayed her back.

"Come on," Shepard said as she gently tugged Liara towards the shower. "You'll get cold."

She switched the water on. There was a brief gasp as it hit them with an icy blast before gradually warming. Liara did not speak as Shepard began scrubbing tenderly at her face with a soft cloth. The caked mud and blood came away, flowing in rivulets down Liara's face and body until they were gone altogether. What could not be rinsed away were the markings that had appeared on Intai'sei.

"Dr Chakwas said the pigment alteration is permanent." Liara felt Shepard tracing the new markings on her crests. "She speculated that because I do not have the Ardat-Yakshi mutation, the transformation failed. I agree...to a certain extent."

Shepard paused. "Liara, you're not going to transform into a Banshee." Whereas Chakwas' speculation was at least based on some sort of scientific analysis, she had only her gut instinct to rely on. However, she was vehement in that belief. The _Normandy_ crew had saved Liara's life, and that was how she was going to stay. _Alive._

Liara planted a delicate kiss on Shepard's wet lips. She wanted to linger there, but there were too many thoughts on her mind. "I have changed, Evan. Not into one of those screeching monsters, but I have changed. I should not have been able to encase my body in a biotic barrier. I do not…or rather did not, possess the aptitude for such means of combat. It is ironic. Had it not been for the biological changes that her actions caused, my sister would have succeeding in killing me." With the water beating down on the back of her neck, Liara folded herself against Shepard's body and sighed brokenly. "I understand that Isini was a monster, but I cannot help but pity her. If Benezia were still alive, I think that I too would hate her for giving up on my sister."

Shepard stroked Liara's back. "Perhaps there was a small chance," she offered diplomatically. There was very little conviction in her voice. Having fought the twisted asari herself, Shepard found it difficult to believe that Aegir was ever anything other than a psychopath. What did sadden her, was the fact that Liara would be denied the truth. Matriarch Benezia T'Soni was dead…and now, so was her eldest daughter. The only T'Soni that Shepard cared about was the one in her arms.

With her skin tinged pink in the aftermath of the shower, Shepard did not bother to put any clothes on. Liara had already seen the extent of her scars. There was only one thing she had left to hide from her. She sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Liara engaged in a series of mindless tasks. She cleared the empty food trays from the table and handed the half empty one to Shepard. Although she knew full well she ought to eat something, Shepard's stomach churned and writhed at just the thought of eating food. Liara tidied away their clothes, even going as far as to start folding Shepard's undersuit.

"There's no need to do that. I'm only going to put it back on again in a couple of hours," Shepard said gently.

"I know," Liara whispered, staring down at the filthy garment. "I just want to feel normal…for a few minutes at least. Perhaps I can clean it somehow-"

Shepard tried to smile at her sincerity. "You'll have all the time in the world to do laundry when we've beaten the Reapers."

Liara did not answer her quip. Instead she turned her back. Shepard watched as she lifted the undersuit to her face. She held it there for some time before letting it slide from her grasp altogether. While she was waiting, Shepard set the uneaten food down on the floor.

"What about you, Shepard?" Liara asked quietly. When she turned around again, her cheeks were damp with tears. "Will you have all the time in the world?"

"I…" She fumbled for any words at all. "I hate doing laundry."

Liara stumbled across the room in drunken steps. She practically launched herself at Shepard, pressing her back against the bed as she bundled up a small fist. For a few moments, Shepard thought Liara might strike her. She waited expectantly for the blow, but it never came. Instead her body slumped forward as though she was too tired to hold herself up any longer. She stiffened as sobs racked her body.

There was nothing Shepard could say in response. All she could do was convey how much Liara meant to her through touch. She stroked her skin, trying to memorise the way it felt beneath the pads of her fingers. At some point their limbs entwined in an effort to be closer to one another. Shepard's wandering hands instinctively made their way to the nape of Liara's neck. She gently caressed the sensitive skin, refusing to stop when Liara made a feeble effort to move her head away. Instead she intensified her movements and Liara shuddered in response. A cry emerged from her lips which Shepard soon silenced with her own. Her awkward position meant that she could only capture the corner of Liara's mouth. When she tried to shift, she found she hadn't the strength to shift Liara's weight.

"Liara, please?" she whispered with an unrestrained urgency in her voice. "I need to show you everything."

Her asari bondmate manoeuvred on top of her. She rested heavily against her and made no move to take any of the weight off by using her arms. For the first time, Shepard found Liara's weight stifling as she pressed her down into the bed but she did not want her to move.

Liara kissed her. It was rough and aggressive, her teeth tore at Shepard's lip. "What if I do not wish to be shown?" In contrast with her words, Liara's sapphire gaze was swallowed by an all-consuming darkness.

In the seconds and minutes…the years and millennia that followed, Shepard shared her memories with Liara. Given that her own knowledge had come with such limited understanding, she struggled to divulge the history the Catalyst had given to her. Instead of merely using words to explain to Liara that she was now the Catalyst, she could convey everything with memories and emotions. She felt Liara's fury in response when she realised that she had effectively agree to sacrifice her life to spare hers. As the meld started to fracture when Liara broke down, Shepard kissed her. She kissed her as though it was their last kiss – desperate, passionate and tainted with the stench of death. They tasted each other's tears and Shepard's blood where Liara had bitten her lip.

_I was always living on borrowed time. From the moment Cerberus brought me back._

_Is that supposed to make me feel better? You're not a slab of meat, Shepard_. Liara kissed her again, stopping only when Shepard wrenched her lips away and gasped for a breath.

_No…a synthetic protein product._ Shepard thought, like the fake chicken served up in Alliance rations. Her chest was heaving as Liara's weight continued to press down on her. _Liara, I can't breathe_

The asari's biotics flared in response. The blue tendrils drifted outwards and encased their entwined bodies. Seconds later they were both lifted from the bed. Without being aware of it herself, the Catalyst's biotic energy joined Liara's – blue interwoven with red. Liara's earlier anger dissipated, replaced by an exhausted tenderness as she touched her bondmate. At some point both realised that their hands had sought out each other's sex. Shepard kept one hand pressed against the back of Liara's neck, while the other moved between her legs. She felt Liara's own fingers sliding over the damp curls at the apex of her legs. She spread them apart and offered herself eagerly.

_Please._ That word again…please. She both hated it and needed it at the same time. It felt as though she was asking Liara to accept her death, through the ultimate act of life. She wanted to explore Liara fully, but it was all she could do to concentrate on the movements of her hand. Instead, they explored past experiences with their memories. As they writhed against one another, a myriad of their previous sexual encounters filled their minds – layer after layer of fucking and love making. Their combined cries overlapped to create a strange, eerie song.

_Their first time in the weeks leading up to Ilos._ _Liara had been so very nervous and unsure of herself. However, when she initiated the meld, her confidence manifested almost immediately. She took the lead. Shepard found herself trussed up in coils of powerful biotic energy as Liara knelt between her legs and drove her tongue deep within her sex._

" _Fuck!" Shepard cried in a hoarse voice, wondering where the hell the innocent young asari had learned how to do **that.**_

_Omega. Shore leave in the dirtiest hotel on earth. Shepard had the strength to pick Liara up and throw her down onto the hard bed as she took her with unrestrained passion. Her entire body weight was thrown behind her pumping fingers. No melds, no biotics – just plain, old fashioned fucking._

_The Normandy. Liara's quarters in the wake of the destruction of the Citadel and the death of her father. Liara asked Shepard to show her she was still alive._

_"Please!" Liara cried as her orgasm rippled throughout her body – originating in her flushed, raw centre and spreading outwards through her body. She trembled fiercely against Shepard, her legs squeezing the Commander's body without a thought for just how vice-like the grip actually was. When she tried to stand on her own, she found her legs had turned to jelly._

_"I've got you," Shepard whispered. One at a time, she took Liara's legs and unhooked each from her waist, lowering them down. Even when both feet were on the ground, she remained pressed hard against her. "And I'm not going anywhere."_

Only the last promise had been a lie.

Finally, their orgasms brought them crashing back into their current reality. The two sweat soaked bodies struggled, skin practically melded together as they dragged their fingers hard against one another. Shepard gripped Liara's neck as her head tilted backwards. They came simultaneously. Shepard heard a hoarse cry from her own throat while Liara made no sound at all. Her entire body trembled violently, her thighs clenched against Shepard's hand. A few moments later, Liara slumped against her body back on the bed. Her body was completely limp.

They drifted together in the aftermath, minds still linked in the meld. Shepard wanted Liara as close to her as possible. Her regret was that there were not more memories. She had always expected to have a finite amount of time in which to make love to Liara, but she had never expected it to be quite so short. Too much time had been wasted.

Even as she felt herself being driven towards a semi-conscious state by her exhaustion, Shepard could not bring herself to take her hand out from between Liara's legs or separate her consciousness.

_I love you._ They could not separate that sentiment into separate voices. Both felt it, both believed in it.

_Shepard?_ Liara's voice was a gentle nudge that tried to bring her back. Shepard only managed a mumble in reply. _Evan, for the love of the Goddess, you can't fall asleep on me…not now. I need you to stay with me for a little longer._

_I'm so tired._

_I know you are, my love, but I need you to promise me something._

_Anything,_ Shepard promised _. Although I'm still not doing any laundry._

_No jests._ Liara scolded. She had to ensure Shepard knew she was being utterly serious _. Whatever happens, promise me that you will let me stay with you?_

_Liara-_

_Whatever happens!_ Liara's presence within the meld was overwhelming with its intensity. _Even if that means dying at your side._

Shepard felt her mind rebel as soon as she felt Liara's determination. _I fought for you to live!_

_Then give me the chance to fight for you._

 


	33. Hannah Shepard's Apology

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

Ashley Williams did not think of the Black Widow purely as forty kilos of raw killing power – the sniper rifle was the tool of her trade, an extension of her arm, and the thin red line between life and death. It spoke volumes with its ferocious bark and it was more genuine than any of her lovers – especially her most recent. As she cradled it in her arms, she ran the pads of her fingers along the sleek finish. She let out a disapproving grunt when she looked at her fingers. The layer of red dust coating the rifle was nothing short of disgraceful.

"Time to give you a little TLC.”

The elevator doors opened and Ashley stepped out onto the armoury deck to find it unnervingly dark. Even Steve Cortez was missing from his post. Ashley suspected that everyone was desperately trying to accomplish the last rites that had been practised by soldiers throughout time – grabbing sleep, writing last messages home and, for those that were lucky enough, spending time in someone else’s arms. Garrus would not leave Tali's side, not even for food and sleep. It was all Ashley could do to take the stubborn bastard some dextro rations.

Ashley had ticked off her own short list – starting with a sparse message to her family. Despite her love of the written word, she'd never been any good at crafting her own. It was simple, heartfelt and omitted the personal turmoil of the past few days. Other than that, she'd managed to eat and shower, but she did not want to spend any longer than necessary in her quarters. The thought of easing her body down onto her cot ought to have been a pleasant one, but instead it tortured her conscious with the memory of Miranda's naked body in her arms.

She stroked the Black Widow again as she started across the deck towards James Vega's workbench. An abrupt movement in the darkness by the lockers startled her. With a practised motion, she brought the rifle up into a firing position. It was instinctive and yet altogether pointless whilst still on the _Normandy_. She was about to lower it when a voice came out of the shadows.

"I didn't actually think you would resort to shooting me."

Although Ashley instantly knew who it was, her body still responded with a painful jolt when the partially obscured figure took a few steps forward. The reaction was partially due to the simple fact that it was Miranda Lawson, but it did not help that she was standing in the armoury with her upper torso clad only in a bra. Somehow Miranda had managed to get a standard-issue undersuit on over both legs, but the rest of the skin-tight garment was hanging around her waist.

"I don’t want to shoot you," Ashley replied quickly to hide her reaction. "I just don't want to ever see you again after all of this is over."

"Understandable," Miranda replied passively. She turned her back on Ashley and continued tugging on the suit.

The atypical response stopped Ashley in her tracks. Where she had expected more passion, there was only blank resignation. She was unable to appreciate that Miranda was making it easy for her to walk away. Instead her fingers tightened around her rifle in quiet fury.

"The Alliance can lock you up and throw away the key for all I care," Ashley added coldly.

"I deserve as much." Miranda gasped slightly as she dragged the suit up arm and over the dressed wound on her upper arm.

Frustrated that Miranda wouldn't even do her the courtesy of looking at her, Ashley placed the Black Widow down on a nearby workbench. The audible clang brought about the desired response and she crossed half the distance between them with vigorous footsteps.

"You. Fucking. Bitch." Ashley stabbed her finger toward Miranda to emphasise each word. She felt righteous when Miranda's impassive expression wavered. Before it could slip altogether, the other woman ducked her head and resumed wrenching the garment over one shoulder. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to consider being involved with someone who used to work for Cerberus?" Ashley demanded. "And to accept the fact that someone…someone like _you_ would even be interested in me. I enlisted straight out of school, I've never been anything other than a soldier…I'm not smart, or attractive…and I'm not even particularly fucking amusing. Then you…" she bit her lip, struggling to contain her anger before continuing. "What did I even mean to you? Did the Catalyst tell you to fuck me to get closer to Shepard?"

Miranda did not respond. She had succeeded in pulling the bodysuit up over one shoulder and was starting on the other. It finally became clear to Ashley that Miranda was having great difficulty dressing herself with the wound in her side.

"What the hell are you doing anyway?"

"What does it look like?" Miranda snapped, finally showing her emotions – her voice was tinged with irritation and pain as she succeeded in getting the suit over both shoulders.

"Kinda like you're getting ready to suit up for a mission," Ashley replied, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. Everything clicked into place. She crossed the remaining distance between them and wrapped her vice-like fingers around Miranda's before she could zip the suit up. Miranda's eyes flashed dangerously but she didn't fight against the contact. "There is no fucking way you're going to Earth!"

"Why? Are you worried I'll try to shoot my own squadmates?" Miranda challenged.

Ashley's response was to gently press her fingertips against Miranda's side – close to her wound. Although Miranda tried to mitigate the extent of her reaction, she clenched her teeth and hissed sharply in pain as she angrily wrenched her body away from Ashley.

"You're no good to Shepard," Ashley said callously. "You’re struggling to dress yourself! How the hell do you think you're going to fight Reapers?"

Ashley blinked and the next moment a mass effect field was dancing above Miranda's hand and her face twisted into a mask of determination. However, when she raised her arm to throw it, she gasped and clutched at her side. The field died and she suddenly stumbled. Ashley's instinctive reaction was to dart forward and wrap her arms around Miranda's limp body. She cradled her gently, much as she had held the Black Widow only minutes earlier.

Miranda pushed ineffectively against Ashley's chest. "Please let me go, Williams."

"No," Ashley replied stubbornly.

"Can't you just accept the fact that you've succeeded in making me feel even worse than I already did?" Miranda snapped in response. “I'm no good to anyone. You've won. Now do me a favour and let me go."

Miranda had reached her nadir. Everything had been stripped from her – her dignity, the fleeting chance she'd had at happiness, and now she had even lost her proficiency for killing things. The thought that she might redeem herself by finding a meaningful death on the battlefield had been all that sustained her.

Then Ashley was kissing her. As Miranda surrendered to the soft, but insistent touch, the labyrinth of tortured thoughts gradually melted away. Eventually they were nothing but a distant memory from another time. All that mattered was the marine who had stopped her from falling. The kiss intensified for a few delicious seconds before Ashley drew back a fraction.

"I won't let you go," Ashley promised vehemently. As she spoke she lifted Miranda back upright and onto her own two feet. She stroked the side of Miranda's face, first with her nose, then her lips. "Not again," she whispered into her ear. Ashley pulled back far enough that she could look Miranda squarely in the eyes. "Now please promise me that you'll stay on the _Normandy_ and give this soldier something to come back to?"

First there were the tears, and then Miranda failed to keep an aggravatingly sentimental grin from slipping onto her face. "You're awfully presumptuous, Williams."

"How so?" Ashley frowned.

"You presume that I love you enough to pay attention to that kind of request."

"I-I didn't presume that-" Ashley's cheeks coloured almost instantly at the mention of the 'l' word. "I just wanted-"

Miranda couldn't keep the smile from her face. No matter how hard she tried to appear dignified, she failed miserably. Eventually she gave up trying. "Dammit all to hell...it turns out that I do. I love you, Ash."

Although she was enjoying the surprised expression on the other woman's face, Miranda couldn't resist kissing her again. This time the initiative was all hers. She deepened the caress until their bodies were writhing against one another in a manner similar to their lips. Both knew felt a hunger that would not be sated anytime soon. Miranda was left gasping for breath when she stopped. Ashley's face was flushed and her eyes danced wildly.

"However, you were completely wrong about one thing…you are exceptionally attractive."

* * *

 

Shepard plucked her undersuit from the floor of her quarters. She held it close to her nose and gingerly sniffed. The synthetic fabric, specially designed to wick sweat away from the body and neutralise body odours, gave off the reek of a well-used naval gym. With a shrug, she started to tug it on.

Although she had managed only a few hours of sleep in the wake of her lovemaking with Liara, she felt oddly energised. Her sleep had been deep and dreamless, and she had woken with the limbs of a goddess entwined in her own. As she wriggled the tight garment up her legs, she sought to catch a glimpse of her still slumbering bondmate. She found Liara awake and propped up on one elbow.

"Do you have to get up?” Liara asked sleepily. “We still have some time yet."

The thought of slipping back into the warmth beside her bondmate was extremely tempting. With a determined effort, Shepard tore her gaze away. “I need to sort out my armour. The shield generator is shot to hell. I won't even make it to the Crucible with the state it's in."

"Please do not jest about such things, Evan," Liara's smile vanished.

Shepard winced. "I just meant that I need my gear to be fully functional."

She zipped the body suit up until it fitted snugly around her neck. Then she flexed her body several times, ensuring that it sat perfectly. Liara watched the simple movement, realising that Shepard could be quite graceful at times. Then she ruined the image by flopping down carelessly onto the bed next to her.

"You smell," Liara pointed out a split second before Shepard kissed her soundly.

"It's the damn suit," Shepard replied unapologetically.

Dirty laundry, underwear – simple, nonsensical conversation topics. There had not been enough time for the mundane, the ordinary and the boring. There was always another mission, another life-threatening situation. Liara realised that she _wanted_ to do Shepard's laundry. Shepard blithely stood up and headed in the direction of the bathroom. A few seconds later Liara heard her start brushing her teeth in the same ferocious manner she always employed – as though she was attacking them. Liara's fingers absently drifted across her naked stomach and lingered there. There had not been enough time for _family_. The dream of carrying Shepard's little blue daughters would remain that. A dream.

When Shepard emerged a few minutes later, she found Liara with her gaze downcast and her hand still pressed against her stomach. She started toward her. "I guess asking if you're feeling alright is a pointless question with…well, everything, but-"

"Shepard." Liara shook her head. "I am fine...honestly I am." She looked up and managed a nod of reassurance. "Go…I will be ready when you need me."

Although she was not convinced, Shepard nevertheless headed down to the armoury. Thoughts continued to swirl around in her head. She had shared enough melds with Liara to know that the one they had shared a few hours earlier had felt different. The intensity of their combined memories had almost scared her. Liara was no doubt feeling the same. However, while Shepard had reached a quiet state of acceptance regarding her fate, Liara was still struggling to process her revelation about the Catalyst.

_There's nothing to be done. If by some miracle you survive, well, perhaps you can apologise to her for ripping her heart out._

A bright swath of light from the elevator pooled out into the darkness of the shuttle bay. Shepard was disappointed not to find Lieutenant Cortez at his station. She had been hoping for his help with her hardsuit.

_Give the guy a break,_ she thought as she crossed to the lockers. _In a few hours, he'll be dropping you off in the middle of hell. He needs all the sleep he can get_.

Without boots on, Shepard made virtually no sound as she padded across the floor. She was reaching out towards a locker when she heard a sudden cry of pain from the shadows behind the Kodiak. Like a well-oiled machine, Shepard responded to the potential situation. She snatched up the nearest weapon – Tali's M-11 Wraith – and went to investigate as she heard a second cry, this time higher-pitched. She saw a writhing shape in the darkness. As she struggled to make it out, she heard another sound – a drawn out moan followed actual words in unmistakable voice of Miranda Lawson.

"Ash! Please…"

Both women were far too intent on one another to notice that Shepard was bearing down on them with a shotgun. She caught a fleeting glimpse of something she didn't need to see in the moment before she made a hasty retreat with her cheeks burning.

She deliberately made as much noise as possible as she replaced Tali's Wraith and checked her own weapons. Still lamenting the loss of her Harrier, Shepard selected the dependable Mattock from her own collection. As she checked she had her preferred mods installed, she looked across and saw Ashley's Black Widow lying on the table nearby. She was trying to decide between the Carnifex and her N7 Valiant when the Lieutenant-Commander herself emerged from behind the Kodiak.

Shepard looked up but decided against feigning any sort of surprise. "Hey, LC."

"Shepard…hey," Ashley nodded furtively. "Just checking out the Kodiak."

"I didn't think you knew anything about drop shuttles, Ash?"

Ashley ignored the question as she retrieved her Black Widow. She took a seat at the work bench near Shepard and started cleaning the weapon with a frighteningly vigorous intensity.

"What do you think – Carnifex or Valiant?" Shepard asked to relieve the tension.

"Um…the Carnifex," Ashley replied quickly.

Shepard frowned. "You mean to tell me that Ashley Williams is advising me to go with a heavy pistol over a sniper rifle?"

Relaxing slightly, Ashley looked up and nodded. "Street fighting, Skipper. The Valiant is pretty light, but you'll still want something more manoeuvrable. If you need someone to pop heads at a distance, just give me a yell."

"The Carnifex it is." Shepard announced.

With both weapons good to go, she needed to turn her attention to the wreck of her hard suit. She remembered haphazardly jamming the pieces back in her locker before she'd headed up to her quarters. No doubt it would reek as badly as her undersuit. _The smell might be good for keeping Husks at bay,_ Shepard mused. However, no foul smell greeted her when she opened the locker. Instead Shepard found the components of a new, undamaged hardsuit stacked neatly on the shelves. When she picked up the chestplate, a note slipped out and drifted to the deck. It was written in Cortez's precise script.

_Commander, James found your old Cerberus hardsuit in the cargo-hold. Seeing as you wreck everything you touch, he thought he'd fix it up for you. He finished it the day before he died. Cortez._

The suit wasn't new at all. The chestplate was an Armax Arsenal Shield Harness she'd picked up on Tuchanka. She remembered it being pretty battered after returning from the Omega-4 relay, but Vega had repaired it so meticulously that only one patch was noticeable. The rest of the suit sat on the shelves. She remembered buying every piece. It had been Cerberus' money she was spending so naturally she had spared no expense in building the suit. Asymmetric Defence Layer, Kestral Arm Sheathing and Life Support Webbing – Vega had retro-fitted every piece. It was still the plain metallic slate-grey finish she remembered, although the Cerberus logo had been scraped off and a crude 'N7' painted in its place.

"You always were an arsehole, James," she murmured.

Shepard even found the Kuwashii visor that she'd brought on impulse.

"Hey, Ash…catch."

She tossed the visor to Ash, who caught it and responded with a surprised grin. "No shit, I've always wanted one of these. I requisitioned one through the Spectre terminal but…well, with what happened to the Citadel. Thanks, Skipper."

"Don't mention it." Shepard started assembling the armour. With the Life Support Webbing on one leg, she paused and frowned thoughtfully. "You know, you should really tell Miranda to come out from behind the Kodiak."

Miranda Lawson emerged a few moments later without being summoned. There was a stormy expression on her face. The undersuit she wore had been hastily pulled on and it was only half done up.

"You arse, Shepard," was her immediate announcement. "You knew I was there all along!"

"Yes, and this is all very awkward." Shepard gave Ashley a sidelong glance. The other marine was examining the Kuwashii visor as though it was the most interesting piece of technology she had ever seen. "But seeing as you'll be taking charge of the _Normandy_ while I'm planet side, I need to brief you. Now's as good a time as any."

"But Traynor-"

"Threatened to mutiny if I ever gave her the ship again," Shepard informed her. "So, do you want it?"

Miranda continued to look doubtful. "Shepard, in what galaxy would the Alliance approve handing over the command of the _Normandy_ to an indoctrinated ex-Cerberus operative?"

"Do I look like I give a rat's arse?" Shepard point out. "Just take the fucking ship, Lawson."

Relieved to be of some use, Miranda responded with an awkward salute. “Aye, aye, ma’am.”

* * *

 

**SSV _Glasgow_**

In contrast to the _Normandy_ SR-2's relatively compact CIC, Shepard found that of the SSV _Glasgow_ to be cavernous in comparison.

She'd spent far too long in frigates to ever feel at ease in a capital ship. Amongst the swarm of senior officers, Shepard felt decidedly out of place. She'd thrown a hoodie and a pair of cargos over her bodysuit. Although they were less than an hour out from the Sol system, she wanted to hold off donning her armour for as long as possible. She'd have enough time to suit up back on the _Normandy_ before H-Hour. At her side, Liara was already kitted out in her power-recharging softsuit, busily eating a protein bar.

"You know you could still be on the _Normandy_ ," Shepard leaned over and said quietly in her ear. "Eating a proper meal. Away from-" she made an encompassing gesture with her hands "-this circus."

Liara looked slightly embarrassed as she popped the remainder of the bar into her mouth. She shook her head. "I need to speak to Councillor Tevos…and I do not want to leave your side."

"Even though I smell?" Shepard asked.

Liara laughed, but it was marginally strained. "There's Tevos. I'll come and find you before the briefing is due to start." She gave Shepard's arm a brief squeeze.

Shepard couldn't resist watching as Liara moved off through the crowds of people. She felt odd staring at the seductive sway of her hips in the middle of a busy ship, but she wanted to take every opportunity she could to enjoy her bondmate – even if that meant being inappropriate and unbecoming to her rank in public.

_Fuck it,_ she thought decisively. _I should have strolled in here with a goddamn bottle of Krogan brandy._

"How the hell did you get on board?"

Shepard's discomfort in the crowd eased as soon as she heard the familiar voice. No sooner had she turned around, she found herself enveloped in a fierce hug by none other than Admiral David Anderson.

"Sir," Shepard said. "It's good to see you in person."

"Likewise, Shepard," Anderson narrowed his eyes as he held her at arm's length studied her. Shepard knew he was having difficulty seeing past the scars and her faintly glowing eyes – not to mention her godawful haircut. "What the hell have you been doing to yourself?"

"Trying to save the fucking Galaxy," Shepard replied sardonically. "Getting my marines killed."

Anderson nodded grimly. "I heard about James Vega…he was a damn fine marine."

"A fucking pain in my arse…but yeah, he was," Shepard agreed.

"We've lost some good people throughout the course of this war." Anderson did not need to remind either of them – they already knew better than most. "You remember Park? The Intelligence Officer you pulled out of the rubble in Vancouver?"

Shepard remembered the young Asian woman, her dark eyes flashing determinedly as she announced that she was staying on Earth with Anderson. "Shit…how?"

"She was on the Crucible when the Reapers took it. Even with the barrier protecting its superstructure, those inside wouldn't have stood much of a chance," Anderson explained.

A small sigh escaped Shepard's lips, but she did her best to keep her shoulders straight. "Can I ask you something, Anderson…something personal? As a friend?"

"Of course, shoot."

Shepard's eyes scanned the CIC. She could see a knot of asari in the distance, but she could not make out Liara. "When all of this is over… _when_ we win, promise me you'll look out for Liara in the new world?"

"You don't even have to ask, Shepard…but only if you're not around to do it yourself," Anderson replied sincerely. The Admiral caught sight of a Yeoman frantically trying to get his attention.

He clapped his hand on Shepard's shoulder for a moment. "No rest for the wicked, eh, Shepard. See you at the briefing in ten."

With Anderson gone, Shepard slipped into a quiet corner of the CIC.

_The New World_.

Shepard could take a damn good guess at what the Galaxy would be like in the wake of the Reapers. Even if they won, there was barely a government left capable of restoring order – Thessia, Earth, Palaven, the foremost galactic civilisations were in ruins. Billions were dead, families had been ripped apart. There would be orphans. Shepard's mouth tightened into a grim line – there were always orphans. Food production, housing, and medicine would be in dangerously short supply. Unless the military could establish order, anarchy would descend as the survivors struggled to carve themselves a place. Amidst that chaos, Shepard would not be there to protect her bondmate. For some reason Aethyta's words came unbidden into her head, _"She doesn't need you to keep her safe, the kid's quarter Krogan. She can look after herself."_ Liara could look after herself, that much was true. _Maybe I've always been the one that needs looking after?_ Shepard mused.

It didn't make the future any easier to accept.

"Evangeline!"

The shout caught Shepard's attention immediately because so few people used her first name – and rarely in full. The voice sounded familiar, but her first assumption was so nonsensical that she dismissed it as soon as the thought came into her head.

There, pushing her way through the crowd, Shepard saw the uniform of an Alliance Rear Admiral. The uniform was far from parade ground standard – rumpled and stained with the detritus of battle – but the woman wore it as though it were perfectly pressed. Her dark hair – containing only a few streaks of grey – was drawn back into a meticulous bun. Shepard found herself transfixed as the woman approached at a brisk walk, the only response she could offer was an incredulous, open-mouthed stare. Before a coherent thought could enter Shepard's head, she found herself staring at Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard.

"Hey, honey," Hannah Shepard didn’t wait for her daughter to speak.

Shepard thought she heard a slight catch in her mother's voice. A frown creased Shepard's forehead. A myriad of connected thoughts ran through her head. _When did I become taller than my mother?_ Even the last time she had seen her mother in person – over four years earlier – Shepard had felt as though she was being talked down to.

_She called me 'honey.' When the hell has she ever called me honey?_

As Hannah studied her in an appraising manner, Shepard could not help but feel as though she was a child again, being measured and judged against her mother's unattainable standards. As always, she would eventually be found lacking in some way.

"I'm surprised to see you here," Shepard said, trying to keep her voice neutral. She refused to believe that it was out of some benevolence on her mother's part. Although any hostility she felt towards her mother had dissipated over the years, the memories of a lonely, cold childhood could never entirely be erased.

"Admiral Hackett tells me you're a part of the ground team escorting the Catalyst to the Crucible," Hannah commented. Much as she had when Shepard was a teenager, she ignored the open hostility.

"Yes, ma'am," Shepard replied. She was grateful that Hackett had not seen fit to tell her mother that she was the Catalyst. _It's not like she gave a fuck the last time I died_. The reaction wasn't fair. Her mother had tried to get in contact while she was with Cerberus, but she had never bothered to reply.

Hannah nodded. "I've requested a transfer back to the _Orizaba_ for the final assault. You know my place is at the helm of a ship." She paused and bit her lip in the same manner as her daughter. "I'm sorry there hasn't been time for us to talk properly. Perhaps, on the other side of this war…" Hannah looked at her daughter with a hopeful expression on her face that was almost maternal.

"Look, Mum-" Shepard began. Her gut churned. This was a distraction she could ill-afford. _You choose now to start caring?_ Shepard pursed her lips together tightly in an effort to keep herself from responding with the words on her tongue. _That's fucking brilliant that you'd like to play happy families. I'll most likely be dead._ She responded with a stiff nod instead. At that moment, she heard familiar sounding footsteps behind her and her heart sank. _Shit, Liara-_

"Evan, are you-" By the time Shepard had turned around, Liara had cut herself off when she saw that her bondmate was talking to a Rear Admiral. "Oh, I did not realise. My a-apologies..."

Shepard raised her eyebrows when she realised just how flustered Liara was when faced with meeting her mother.

"Does the crew of the _Normandy_ all refer to you by your first name?" Hannah Shepard asked pointedly.

_My mother, ever the stickler for discipline._ Shepard gritted her teeth. “I'd like to introduce you to Dr Liara T'Soni...my bondmate-"

The elder Shepard frowned. "Bondmate?"

Shepard ignored her and continued, "Liara, Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard...my mother."

Obviously unsure of the most appropriate response, Liara inclined her head graciously. "It is a pleasure."

Inwardly Shepard was already tensed as she awaited the disparaging comment that she knew would follow. At her side, Liara shifted stance nervously. She reached out and slid her arm around Liara's waist, as much for her own benefit.

Hannah Shepard regarded her daughter with a long, serious stare which Shepard met unflinchingly. After her initial nerves, she felt a subtle change in Liara's stance as she composed herself. When it was her turn to meet the Rear Admiral's gaze, she responded with a calm one of her own. Shepard tightened her grip on Liara's waist, her pride swelling at the realisation that she was introducing a strong, courageous individual as her partner.

When Hannah spoke again, it was directed to her daughter. "For the past month, I have heard about your exploits from Admiral Hackett, over the extranet, and from my colleagues on the Crucible project. Throughout I found myself unable to think of that person – that Alliance Hero - as my daughter. I have always been proud of you, but as a fellow soldier...not as a mother. I am sorry for that."

"I'm touched, really," Shepard replied, unable to keep the sarcasm from her voice. She felt Liara press closer and give her a cautioning touch on her wrist. "Don't you think it's a little too late for apologies? You could have apologised to the kid whose thirteenth birthday you forgot because you ordered a surprise maintenance inspection. I don't have any time for this."

Hannah bristled slightly. "Evangeline-"

Shepard cut her off. "I really need to get back to my squad. We've got a war to win."

Hannah responded with an awkward nod of her head. As her daughter moved away, she reached out and laid a gentle hand on Liara's forearm. In stopping at the touch, Liara slipped out of Shepard's grasp and faced her with a hesitant expression. Shepard suppressed an exasperated growl and turned to watch the exchange.

"Liara." Hannah said the asari's name awkwardly. "I know Evangeline doesn't believe that I know the meaning of the word love, but I do. Thank god she's found someone who looks at her the way my husband used to look at me."

Against her better judgment, Shepard felt her eyes burning. She swallowed quickly, unable to accept that she was feeling something other than anger and resentment towards her mother. Before the situation could deteriorate further, Hannah snapped to attention and delivered a precise salute. A few seconds later, Shepard responded with one of her own.

"Don't get dead, Commander," Hannah said fiercely.

"Aye, aye, ma'am," Shepard replied.

It was an order she knew she could not follow, but she couldn't bring herself to say otherwise. With a last lingering look at her stubborn daughter, Hannah turned and walked across the Glasgow's CIC with military precision.

"Tell me that didn't just happen, Liara."

When Liara did not reply, Shepard turned to look at her. There was an odd, slightly angry expression on her bondmate’s face.

"That was unfair. You see your mother for the first time in four years and all you could think to tell her was that she forgot your birthday?" Liara said quietly.

"I was illustrating a point!" Shepard protested. "Why are you taking her side?"

Liara's reply was blunt, "My mother and father are dead."

"Li-" Shepard reached out for her bondmate.

"You still have a mother, Evan," Liara continued, but she allowed herself to be folded into Shepard's arms. "And your mother loves you."

"The only thing she loves in the damn Navy." Even as the words left her lips, Shepard did not know if she believed them any longer.

Shepard played her part in Hackett's briefing like clockwork. She spoke up when someone asked her a question, most of the time she sat and listened. Although these individuals were all fighting the same fight, many appeared to have difficulty coming to terms with the revelation that this infamous human woman sitting in their midst was the key to the Crucible and the possible end of the Reaper invasion. Shepard was tired of meeting someone's gaze and seeing doubt, fear or even pity, so she kept her gaze downcast. Liara held her hand discreetly. Every so often, the asari would squeeze it – especially when she sensed Shepard losing her temper when someone asked an inane question.

The plan was simple enough - the combined Fleets under Hackett would draw as many of the Reapers as possible into a pitched, orbital battle. A large ground force under Anderson would set down as close to the Crucible as possible. They had just two aims – hold the ground, and carve a path for Commander Shepard to get through to the Crucible. Shepard's squad would be in the second wave.

Hackett did not need to spell out the flaws in their plan. If the Crucible was too severely damaged to fire, or if Shepard could not make it through the barrier, then everything would be for naught. The fate of the Galaxy was riding on the slimmest of chances.

"We've come too far for everything to rest on me," Shepard whispered as Hackett switched to discussing the tactics for the space battle.

Only Liara could hear her. "You were there at the beginning, Shepard. If this has to rest on one person…then it should be you." _I wish to the Goddess it wasn't,_ the asari thought to herself.

When it was all over, Shepard couldn't make it through the docking tube and back onto the Normandy fast enough. As Liara watched her bondmate, she suspected that it was because she did not want to see her mother again. She had to admit that she was disappointed that Shepard had not been able to accept her mother's apology, even with what they were about to face. Even if Hannah Shepard had earned every iota of her daughter's entrenched resentment, surely she deserved the opportunity to say goodbye. A part of her wanted to convince Shepard, but the part that won out did not want to create more conflict.

The pair arrived back on the Normandy, grateful to find that the frigate's CIC was almost empty in comparison to the Glasgow's. Miranda Lawson was again wearing a standard Alliance uniform. It did not appear as though it had taken her long to find herself at home on the Normandy. She stood above the Galaxy Map, looking oddly composed. At her usual post, Specialist Traynor looked decidedly relaxed at being relieved of the responsibility of command.

The briefing had felt surreal for Liara. However, standing in front of their crewmembers, their friends, she had to accept that this was it. She could sense the apprehension radiating from Shepard and knew that her Commander needed a few moments to say goodbye. The potential finality of it all hit her like a Krogan at full charge.

"Your squad's assembled in the shuttle bay," Miranda informed Shepard in an official. "ETA to Mass Relay jump, fifteen minutes and counting. You'd better get down there before they start wondering where the hell you are."

"Five minutes of power and it goes to your head," Shepard remarked.

Shepard debated whether to stride across the short distance between them and throw her arms around her ex-lover. However, Miranda ended it by making the move herself. The embrace was brief but fierce. When it ended, Miranda turned away and gave a short, sharp sniff.

"I'll take good care of her, Miranda," Shepard promised.

Miranda turned back, her eyes were liquid. "I've seen the way you fight, Shepard. Ash will be the one taking care of you."

Sam Traynor was bouncing nervously from foot to foot when it came to her turn to say goodbye. Shepard knew that there was no way in hell that the Specialist would be the one to initiate a hug. She moved gently so as not to startle her, but Sam nevertheless uttered a slight gasp and her entire body automatically tensed when she found herself in the Commander's arms.

"Look after my bloody ship, Traynor. That's an order," Shepard said as she drew back.

"Aye, aye, ma'am!" Sam saluted smartly. "You look after yourself," she added fervently.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You're giving me orders, Specialist?"

"Damn bloody right I am," Sam replied with a serious expression.

When they left the CIC and passed through the security alcove, Shepard slipped her hand inside Liara's. A few moments later, her bondmate stopped in her tracks. When Shepard felt her fingers slip from Liara's hand, she turned to find Liara standing, her mouth slightly parted.

Shepard moved slowly toward her. "Li…" Her voice trailed off. A split second later Liara threw her arms around Shepard's neck. Shepard returned the embrace as fiercely as she was able without cutting off Liara's ability to breathe. "Hey, I'm counting on you to be my rock here, baby."

"I am sorry, Evan. I am so sorry." Liara dragged her hands through Shepard's hair and caressed the back of her neck.

"I'm the one who needs to be sorry. The hell I've put you through over the past three years is about to be over…one way or another. I just wish there was a little more time." Shepard could sense Liara's despair. She wished desperately that she could make it disappear through reassurances – but she had no more to give.

Liara slipped out of Shepard's arms. With a determined effort, she squared her shoulders and scrubbed at her face to remove the tell-tale evidence of tears. "Enough foolishness, we should go."

Shepard nodded. "The crew will no doubt be expecting one of my rousing speeches extolling their combined virtues and telling them to give the Reapers hell."

Liara forced a small smile onto her face. "I have always found you personally to be very arousing - your speeches, not so much. I think you should just tell them to follow your lead."

"What if I fuck up?" Shepard asked uncertainly.

"Evan, you are one of the best soldiers in the Alliance Navy. I know you loathe the word, but you are a hero – not only to your squad, but the whole galaxy...and to me...especially to me. Whatever happens down there, I know you will stop at nothing to get the job done. I promise that I will be with you until the end, whatever that end may be." Liara fumbled at the neck of her armour and drew out something. Shepard's dog tags gave a soft clink as she dragged them over her head. "Promise me you'll wear these."

Shepard shook her head. "No, you should keep-"

"Promise me!" Liara demanded, almost harshly. She pressed them into the palm of Shepard's hand and folded her fingers over them so that the Commander could not let go.

Shepard nodded as she accepted them. "I promise. I love you, Liara."

Liara pressed forward and found a spot for her cheek against Shepard's neck. "I know," she whispered gently into her bondmate's ear.

 


	34. The Final Roll of the Dice

**SSV _Orizaba_**

_{Rear Admiral Shepard, ma'am, we're approaching the exit point now}_

"Acknowledged, Matthews, thank you."

Following the message from the _Orizaba's_ pilot, Hannah Shepard's bare hands went white as they tightened on the narrow barrier in front of her. The Galaxy Map displayed a visual of the Sol system. It was currently empty save for the reassuringly familiar scattering of planets. In a matter of seconds, accurate representations of dozens and then hundreds of ships flared into existence near Earth's orbit. Although the majority were of Systems Alliance, turian, quarian or asari origin, Hannah saw scatterings of ships from all over the Galaxy. Batarian, geth and militia fleets assembled from motley collections of armed merchant freighters and out of date frigates. Hannah drew her gaze away from the map and physically looked out of one of the CIC's viewing ports. The massive bulk of the _Destiny Ascension_ blocked out everything else to the _Orizaba's_ portside.

Amidst the myriad of vessels, Hannah searched in vain for even the briefest glimpse of the _Normandy_. The small frigate was no doubt somewhere in the vanguard of the attack, but she could not find it.

Hannah closed her eyes. Her daughter was the Catalyst.  A part of her was grateful that she had missed out on hearing those words first-hand. She would have fallen to pieces. It was difficult enough holding everything together now. The fact that Evan hadn’t wanted to tell her. As if a mother didn’t have a need to know. It painted a stark picture of their relationship. Or lack of it.  She sniffed sharply and opened her eyes.

There was nothing to be done about it. Instead, Hannah forced herself to find a measure of focus for what was to come.

"This is Rear Admiral Shepard to all hands. I do not need to remind any of you exactly what we are up against. You all know that the Reapers have already slaughtered billions throughout the Galaxy and they will stop at nothing until every trace of our way of life has been scourged clean - accepting that fate was never an option. Instead we fight. Our actions today will buy those on the ground more time to reach the Crucible. If we must pay for that time with our lives, then that is a price that we must pay. Commander Shepard will be down there…" Hannah paused, lingering over the memory of a pair of sparkling blue eyes belonging to a tiny child. She was a soldier, an Alliance Rear Admiral and Captain of the SSV _Orizaba_ , but first and foremost she would always be a mother. “We owe it to her to give everything we have!"

The resulting chorus of 'aye-aye, ma'am' and even a few 'ooh rahs' were resoundingly affirmative in tone. HRH herself could not stifle the swelling of pride that stirred in her chest.

"Let's send these fucking bastards back into the void.”

* * *

 

**Kodiak Shuttle, Earth approach**

Shepard often used the time between dropping from the _Normandy_ and touching down to grab precious additional minutes of sleep. This time was different. Sleep was far from her mind as she turned over her shoulder and peered out of one of the viewing ports. If she craned her neck at just the right angle she could catch a glimpse of the _Normandy_. Her ship grew smaller by the second as they dropped away, but she held onto the image of its sleek lines for as long as she could. When it was nothing more than an unrecognisable shape against the void behind it, she finally drew her attention back inside the Kodiak.

_It's just a ship._

She knew better. The _Normandy_ was her home. The only real home she had ever known.

"Did you forget something?" Liara asked quietly.

"No, I was just-" Shepard tried to shift slightly so her shoulder plate wasn't jammed against Liara, but she soon realised it was pointless as there was nowhere to move. A flash of yellow darted into her mind. "Shit...yes, I didn't tell anyone to feed Horatio."

Shepard had killed dozens of fish, but the thought of Horatio dying seemed somehow worse than all the others put together.

"I am sure Samantha will feed him for you." Liara reassured her.

_Normandy's_ complement of marines was crammed inside the belly of the shuttle – at least a dozen personnel in total. Amongst them were some of the best friends she would ever know. Shepard did not know why, but her gaze found Javik's first. The Prothean had all of his eyes closed in silent meditation. However, as though he knew he was being watched, he opened them. It had not been Shepard's intention to apologise to him in the wake of their argument. To do so would have implied that she did not trust the woman she had left in charge of the _Normandy_. Instead Javik had simply been present in the shuttle bay when she went to brief her squad – fully kitted out and armed. Across his lap lay the Particle rifle of his own construction. He gave her a terse nod now. It was a simple movement, but it spoke volumes. It said that the last Prothean gave her his absolute support.

Although Tali was still seriously ill, before the shuttle had departed the _Normandy_ Dr Chakwas had confirmed that the worst had passed. The good news had revived Garrus's flagging spirits considerably. There was a steely, reassuring gleam in the turian's eyes as he sat on the bench opposite, absently stroking his Phaeston. Shepard was immensely relieved, both for Tali's and for her own sake. She needed Garrus at her side today.

Only one squadmember appeared to be making any attempt to grab what sleep they could as the shuttle dropped. However, Shepard saw that Ashley’s lips were curved into a slight smile and knew that the marine wasn’t sleeping so much as dwelling on a pleasant memory. When the LC opened her eyes and caught Shepard staring at her, the resulting scarlet flush to her cheeks confirmed as much.

In the absence of Miranda, Tali and Vega, these were the soldiers she could count on to get her through to the Crucible. Shepard cast a quick glance to her left – and Liara of course. Clad in her battle-scarred suit, the asari looked every inch a soldier. However, when Liara turned her head and returned the stare, Shepard was immediately taken back to the hot, dry heat of Therum and the scared scientist that had tumbled into her arms as the Prothean barrier dropped. Liara had seemed so small and fragile that the first instinct to pop into her head was to protect her. So much had happened since that moment, and yet the one thing that had not changed was Liara's effect on her. A sudden jolt to the Kodiak interrupted the stare. Their armour clashed together and Shepard had to grab at the helmet resting on her lap before it clattered to the deck. She absently ran her hands over the casing. Standard N7 issue, barely used compared to the patched armour she wore. She rapped her knuckles on the crown of the helmet in a seemingly nonsensical rhythm. It was only a minute later that she realised the beats matched those of her heart. She stopped and instead reached across to take one of Liara's hands in a firm grip.

"How many shuttle drops have we made together?" Shepard mused as she attempted to focus on something other than hitting the ground.

Liara cocked her head to one side and pursed her lips in thought. "Not as many as you would think," she eventually replied. Shepard's thumb was restlessly tapping beside her fingers and her little finger darted out to smother it. Although the delights of tactile contact were ruined by the gloves they both wore, Liara nevertheless stroked Shepard's hand lightly with her fingers. "The Mako on the other hand…it feels as though I experienced hundreds of drops-"

"Dozens surely?" Shepard interrupted.

"Evan, you were driving. It felt like _hundreds_." Liara had to suppress a small shiver at those memories. The Mako was dropped like a stone from the _Normandy_ SR-1's cargo hold. Shepard's favourite pastime was accelerating the moment the vehicle's wheels gained a purchase on the terrain. Compared to sitting in the back of the Mako, riding in the Kodiak felt like nothing more than a particularly energetic cab ride on the Citadel. At Shepard's indignant sniff, Liara patted the back of her hand in a placating manner. "You have many…many talents, but driving - in any form of vehicle – is not one of them."

Although a grin played across Liara's lips for a moment, Shepard knew that her bondmate was not being entirely flippant. While she wasn't about to concede her point, Shepard nevertheless did not pursue an argument – probably because she already knew that Liara would win.

"ETA five minutes, Commander!" Cortez called out.

_Shit…already?_ As the others in the shuttle stirred in anticipation of hitting the ground, Shepard reclaimed Liara's fingers for a few final moments and leaned in close.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Her words barely carried over the rising crescendo of explosions beyond the confines of the Kodiak.

Liara sighed when she felt Shepard's breath against her neck. She shook her head. "Not for half an hour at least. I was beginning to doubt the strength of your conviction."

"Never doubt that, Liara…never. I am just sorry…" Shepard's voice cracked slightly and she had to pause before she could continue. _I am sorry that there won't be all those little blue children I keep thinking about._ The thought was entirely subjective, Liara could have children. They just wouldn't be hers. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you more…more of me."

Liara shook her head again. "Evan, you couldn't possibly have given me more. You _have_ given me everything," she replied fiercely. "I have no regrets-"

The red light not started flashing above the Kodiak's door. Shepard retained a grip on Liara’s hand as they stood, putting her helmet on with the other. Together they moved toward the door in preparation to face the storm that was to come.

London.

In the distance, she could see several Reapers stalking above the streets. Their presence angered Shepard. The famous, sprawling city was a wasteland – a by-product of their campaign to wipe out organic life. Iconic buildings were reduced to burnt-out shells of their former glory. Much of the destruction had obviously been caused by the Crucible itself. The colossal device had come to rest astride the Thames, taking out most of central London around it. However, wreathed in billowing smoke, amidst the chaos and destruction surrounding it, Shepard recognised the pale dome of St Paul's Cathedral. The view lasted mere seconds before the Kodiak descended towards what had once been a public square a few klicks out from the Crucible.

_{I can't get you any closer to Anderson's HQ, Commander}_ Cortez had to use the comm as the wall of noise defeated all attempts at conversation. _{You'll have to hump the last half a klick on foot}_

"Understood, Cortez." Shepard was unfazed by the news. She selected her Mattock as the ground rushed up to meet the Kodiak. "All right, people, you heard the man, don't bunch up but stay in visual contact. Garrus and I will take point-" Cortez brought the Kodiak in the hover a metre off the ground. Concentrated ground fire raked the side of the Kodiak. "Move, move, move!"

Shepard's boots hit the flagstones hard but she felt none of the jarring impact through the cushioning provided by her armour. She had already taken note of the source of the hostile fire and brought her Mattock to her shoulder to deliver covering fire as the rest of the squad disembarked. Dozens of Cannibals and Marauders emerged en masse from positions surrounding the square. At the risk of being pinned down before their mission had even began, Shepard led the squad forward herself until a hail of incoming fire drove her to seek the nearest cover she could find. She threw herself down behind a still intact wall as shots slammed into the other side.

"Friendly reception!" Garrus was on her right. The turian popped up and replied with a half a clip from his Phaeston. "We can't push past them without leaving our rear exposed!"

"And we can't waste time in dealing with them!" Shepard replied in exasperation.

Garrus switched out the Phaeston for his Viper sniper rifle. When he emerged from cover once again, he fired off just three shots. The satisfied grin on his face said that he had hit three targets. Shepard heard a biotic explosion, following by another in rapid succession. The cool-down time between each was far too short between each for Liara to have set up her own – her bondmate had obviously teamed up with Javik. When Shepard emerged from cover, her finger froze above the trigger of her rifle.

_What the fuck is she doing?_

Liara was on the other side of the square…in the middle of the Reaper lines. Even as Shepard watched Javik cast Dark Channel and Liara responded immediately by leaping into a biotic charge. Encased within her barriers, Liara slammed into the Cannibal. Even from some distance away, Shepard could still hear the primal, un-Liara-like roar that emerged from her throat in the seconds before the Cannibal was ripped apart by the resulting biotic explosion. Like an extremely contagious disease, Javik's Dark Channel leapt to another nearby Cannibal. It seemed as though Liara barely had time to select her target before she charged again. Shepard had seen human vanguards use the same tactic in battle, but it was reckless, risky and overwhelmingly likely to end unpleasantly. Without any regard for herself, Shepard vaulted over the wall and ran towards the fray. Her trigger finger worked frantically, squeezing off as many rounds as she could. Even in her own narrow field of view, she saw the heads of two Marauders pop simultaneously courtesy of Garrus and Ashley. A few shots grazed Shepard's shields but the ranks of Reaper forces had been thinned to the point where they were singled out and taken down individually. The moment that her thermal clip expired, Garrus’ overload crackled between Marauders near Shepard. Without bothering to reload, she slammed the butt of her Mattock into the chin of the nearest. As it snapped back, she extended her omni-blade and spun, driving it upwards through the chest of the second. With a gurgle of blood, she withdrew it only to slice through the neck of the first one. Both bodies dropped at her feet.

Although heavy weapons fire raged in the distance, a breathless Shepard noticed that her immediate environs had fallen strangely quiet. It was then that she realised her squad had carved their way through all initial resistance – or rather, Liara had. She did not have to search to find her bondmate. Liara was standing in the middle of the carnage that she had created, only a dozen metres away.

Shepard signalled to the rest of her squad to form up and move out as she approached Liara at a brisk jog. As she neared, she saw Liara's shoulders rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to regain her breath. If there had ever been any doubt as to whether Aegir's cruelty had caused any lasting changes, they had been completely dispelled by Liara's biotic display. With her Mattock in one hand, Shepard used the other to reach out and grab Liara by her upper arm. Although the asari wavered slightly, she remained on her feet as Shepard turned her around.

To say that she was a mess was an understatement. Her white armour looked as though she had thrown herself into a pit full of blood, viscera and anything else that happened to emerge from a body with organic tissue. Her face appeared to have been covered in much the same filth, although at some stage Liara had swiped her fingers down over her forehead, cheeks and chin to leave grotesque smudges.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack, T'Soni!" Shepard exclaimed, singularly relieved to find that she was still in one piece. "What were you thinking?"

Somewhat dazed, Liara shook her head. "I was not."

Shepard glanced over her shoulder, most of the squad had moved out as per her orders. Ashley was nearby, covering them with her Black Widow. "We need to push through to Anderson; can you make it?"

Liara nodded. She looked down at her body. "I am unharmed. I do not think any of this is mine."

"Fuck, I hope not," Shepard muttered as she propped Liara up with an arm around her waist.

"Goddess," Liara whispered as they began moving at a brisk walk. "I am really…really hungry."

"You're also entirely batshit crazy," Shepard added. "Just because you _can_ do it, doesn't mean you _should_."

* * *

 

The Normandy squad reached friendly positions less than ten minutes later. Subsequent encounters with Reapers had been sporadic and easily brought down with rifle fire and grenades. So far their casualties had been limited to a few cases of walking wounded.

Shepard spotted Anderson as soon as she entered the perimeter of the command centre. As her squad followed, she moved forward to greet her old friend. Their hands met in a tight grasp, even as they continued moving toward cover.

"I was wondering what kept you," Anderson said.

"We ran into some old friends," Shepard answered. "How does it look, Anderson?"

"As you might have guessed, the bulk of the Reaper presence is concentrated around the Crucible," he informed her soberly. "I'm afraid it's not going to be an easy road in. I've got teams setting up Thanix missile batteries, but more than half were taken out before they even hit the ground…along with about a third of our infantry. I've tasked Alpha, Bravo and Charlie with driving an initial wedge through to the Crucible – they've got half a dozen Makos between them and a platoon of geth Primes. Delta through to Hotel are holding the perimeter with support from turian forces. And I've managed to secure you an escort in your push to the Crucible-"

"Shepard!"

The Commander turned at the booming voice. She found Urdnot Wrex pushing his way through a squad of marines, an eager grin fixed on his battered face.

"Damn, you are a sight for sore eyes!" Shepard moved away from Anderson and approached the Krogan Clan Leader. Rather than shake hands, they head-butted each other. Shepard had a few moments to be exceedingly grateful that she was wearing a helmet.

"Someone has to play nurse-maid to your sorry ass!" Wrex replied. "Even if you are honorary Krogan, you're still a pale, squishy little human. If anything happens to you, the wife would never forgive me."

Shepard raised her eyebrows at Wrex's choice of words. "Don't tell me…you and Eve?"

Wrex chortled. "I know, imagine a virile specimen like myself being shackled to one female! Much like yourself eh, Shepard?" He looked over Shepard's shoulder to where Liara was standing with a tolerant expression on her still bloody face. "Hey, Liara – looking good!"

"Wrex," Liara said briefly, however her expression said that she did not mind the banter. Covered from head to toe in blood as she was, she would have blended perfectly into a Krogan platoon.

Anderson was anxious to resume his briefing. He interrupted the reunion. "We've got a command post established in that building at the top of the square – a good vantage point to scope out your route to the Crucible, Shepard."

Shepard nodded. She turned to her squad. "Garrus, Ash, Liara, you're with me, the rest of you help secure the perimeter until we're ready to move out…and if you can scrounge any supplies and heavy weapons off the grunts, do so."

Anderson's command post offered a sweeping view of the approach to the Crucible. Shepard did not know what this area of London had been before the Reaper invasion, but most of the high-rises in the area had been brought down. Only a few skeletal remains still stretched towards the sky. Most of the route to the Crucible was littered with rubble. It would make their progress dangerously slow.

"I want to take the most direct route, but we'll be cut to ribbons out there, especially with our limited air support," Shepard mused. "Perhaps if we follow the river around, the path seems to be less obstructed while still offering cover."

"But you run the risk of being trapped between the Reapers and the Thames," Anderson warned. "And unless you've got a goddamn snorkel, I'd caution against going for a swim."

Shepard's HUD zoomed in on a rare spot of green in the middle of the view. Although several buildings had been brought down on the park, the route was clear. "What about through there?"

"Hmmm, might just work. Give me a few minutes to radio up to Hackett and confirm, then we'll push out towards the Crucible."

"You're coming with us, Anderson?" Shepard raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Why, you think I'm too old to keep up with you young things?" he demanded.

"Hell no, I'm worried I can't keep up with you!" Shepard retorted.

Garrus and Ashley had been listening in all along, both soldiers nodded their assent when Anderson moved to a nearby comm station. Ashley was still scanning the route with her sniper in an effort to pick out pockets of resistance.

"Whatever path we choose is going to be risky, Shepard," Garrus offered. "But I agree with you regarding the most direct-"

Their conversation was sharply interrupted by three shots in rapid succession from Ashley's Black Widow. The LC did not look remotely apologetic when she lowered the weapon. "Three less to worry about, Skipper."

Garrus rubbed at the scar tissue surrounding his ear hole. "And one deaf turian," he muttered.

"You're just jealous you don't have one," Ashley replied as she tucked rifle's stock beneath her arm so she could carry the heavy weapon more effectively.

Leaving Ashley and Garrus to debate the merits of the Black Widow, Shepard turned to find Liara. The asari was sitting on the floor at the other end of the room, using the few minutes respite to recover her strength. She had managed to coax a protein bar and a tube of glucose gel from one of Anderson's men. Shepard removed her helmet and used a swipe of her hand to drag her sweaty hair away from her forehead. She glanced around the ruined room in which they stood. At one time it had obviously been someone's home – and an extremely nice one at that. A brief search revealed a linen supply in a nearby cupboard. Shepard tore a strip of the thick cotton bedding. As she walked towards Liara, she soaked it with water from her canteen.

"There's my asari vanguard," Shepard said lightly. "Are you feeling a little better?"

Liara sucked down the gel greedily and nodded as Shepard hunkered down beside her. Gently holding the back of Liara's head, Shepard began cleaning the dried blood from her face with the damp rag. The asari closed her eyes and allowed Shepard to scrub tenderly at her skin. Some stubborn particles remained ingrained, but for the most part Shepard had her lover looking less like a Krogan and more like the beautiful asari she knew. Letting the rag fall from her fingers, Shepard leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Liara's for a few moments. Before she could draw away, Liara's hands darted out and pressed against the back of her head to prevent her from moving.

"Kiss me," Liara whispered.

"Liara," Shepard protested with a reluctant sigh. "We're surrounded by marines, it's not appropriate…"

Liara's eyes hardened. "Fuck appropriate," she replied gruffly. "Is it going to be more appropriate when we're out in the open fighting Reapers? I want you to kiss me, Shepard."

The marine did not need to be asked again. Without any further regard for anyone else in the post, Shepard pressed her gloved fingers fiercely against the back of Liara's neck and drew her in close. She could taste hints of blood and dirt but none of it mattered. As soon as Liara's lips parted beneath her own, there was nothing else around them. She heard an urgent gasp escape from her own throat as Liara's tongue swiped against her own in an almost harsh movement. For a few glorious moments, Shepard was able to push all thoughts from her mind as the kiss deepened and her fingers stroked the tender spot at the nape of Liara's neck. She was fully aware of the effect her ministrations were having on the asari, but she could not bring herself to stop – not just yet.

When they drew apart a minute later, Liara kept her forehead pressed against Shepard's as their combined breathing slowed. "I am sorry, Evan…I just wanted one more."

"Don't be, Li," Shepard replied softly, nuzzling slightly at Liara's nose. "I doubt they'll be bringing me up on charges for unbecoming conduct."

"Mmmm," Liara murmured. "I am immensely fond of unbecoming conduct."

A few moments later she allowed Shepard to help her to her feet. As they turned to face the centre of the post, both Garrus and Ashley appeared to have developed a sudden interest in the torn wallpaper on the wall opposite.

"You ready to move out, Garrus…LC?" Shepard asked as she approached her squadmates.

Ashley turned with a slight sparkle in her eyes. "I think the real question is whether the two of you are ready to move out? Because you looked as though you both needed to find a room for ten minutes."

"Stow it, LC," Shepard growled. "Unless you want me to tell a little story involving a Kodiak and one very-"

Ashley held up her hands, her face reddening. "You win, Skipper! I'm just a little on edge, that's all. On one hand I'm anxious to get moving and on the other I want to find a bunker and crawl in as far as I can…and take you with me." Ashley sniffed and turned away.

"Fuck it all to hell, my street cred is completely ruined anyway," Shepard announced between the four of them. "Come here." She extended both of her arms and draped one around Garrus's tall shoulders and the other around Ashley. Liara completed the small circle as she slipped in between Garrus and Ashley. "I know Tali should be here…and Alenko," Shepard began quietly. "But the three of you have been with me from the beginning." She looked at each in turn. Ashley was desperately trying to stifle tears, even Garrus was slightly misty-eyed. Only Liara managed to appear stoic. The emotions within the group crackled palpably when Shepard continued, "I don't think of you as my squadmates…you're my family. Like any family, you're a pack of goddamn arseholes sometimes…but I wouldn't be standing here without you. If I had my way, none of you would be following me in this madness, but I know I don't stand a chance in hell of getting to that Crucible alone-"

"Because you can't shoot for shit," Garrus interrupted.

Shepard smirked "-so yeah…thanks…"

"And this is the point where her speeches usually fall to pieces," Liara murmured knowingly.

"Shepard!" Anderson's voice boomed out across the CP. The four of them moved apart as he continued, "You ready to kick some ass?"

* * *

 

Shepard still could not adjust to the sight of Liara throwing herself across the battlefield in a full biotic charge. As she paused to slam another fresh clip into her Mattock, she listened to a resounding boom reverberate across the battlefield. With a grunt, Shepard lifted herself over yet another pile of rubble. A flurry of shots sent her scurrying down the other side and crashing into the first cover she could find. It was unfortunate that several hundred kilograms of Krogan had already claimed the spot. She slammed into Wrex's unforgiving mass and this time even her armour did little to absorb the shock.

"Sorry about that!" Shepard had to yell to make herself heard.

Lying prone against the rubble, she picked out several targets in the distance and calmly brought each down with precise squeezes of her trigger. Regardless of Garrus's taunts, she was a damn good shot. As the last Cannibal fell, Shepard saw a hulking shape emerge from the low hanging smoke. She did not need to see it clearly to recognise the outline of a Brute.

"Wrex, I've got a job for you-" The words died on Shepard's lips when she saw the Brute suddenly light up with a warp field. _Oh holy fuck, she is not…_ A small shape slammed into the side of the Brute as Shepard watched in horror. _If she lives through this, I swear I am going to-_

"Hah!" Wrex slammed his fist against his chest with barely concealed delight as he too looked in the direction of Shepard's gaze. "Your mate has an even bigger quad than I do!" he roared.

Shepard watched as Liara rolled away from the partially dazed Brute even. Her heart lodged in her throat as it took a swipe at Liara with one of its massive claws.

_You think she would have learned her lesson from the last time she went up against a Brute on Menae!_

Ignoring the incoming fire that dodged her every step, Shepard sprinted forward with her breath rasping at each step. The Brute's armour was gradually being whittled down beneath sustained fire, but Liara was still within range of its swinging arms. Shepard was close when she heard an ear-splitting scream pierce everything else. It was a sound she knew all too well.

"Banshee incoming!" Shepard yelled over the comm. "Please tell me that someone on this channel has a Cobra left?"

_{I do, ma’am!}_ a voice swiftly answered. _{Corporal Deacon here - locked and loaded!}_

"Hold fire until you're sure you can get both the Banshee and the Brute," Shepard ordered. "I'll play bait."

It was hardly necessary. Liara was already doing a first-rate job of acting as the bait and Shepard was running directly towards her. Focused as she was on the Brute, Liara had not noticed the Banshee until it screamed a second time. The biotic shockwave the creature cast caught several marines in its initial blast. She too jumped, and seconds later a marine screamed shrilly as her talons pierced his chest.

Shepard finally caught up to Liara, she used the last of her frag grenades to immobilise the Brute as she wrapped an arm around the asari's waist and dragged her backwards. Another shape rushed past her. Shepard realised it was the Corporal who had responded to her plea for a Cobra missile. Everything happened quickly from that point. She yelled at Deacon, telling him he was too close to the wounded Brute. It was too late when the beast lashed out blindly and swiped his legs out from beneath him. No doubt instantly breaking both legs. Even crumpled in pain on the deck, the Corporal gamely aimed the Cobra at the ground. Waiting until both Reaper creatures were on him, he fired.

The resulting blast caught both Shepard and Liara, but they were far enough away to merely be thrown down to the ground. Shepard landed hard, breaking Liara's fall. She wanted to rage and scream at the asari for her stupidity, but it was pointless as Liara sagged against her, much of her biotic strength sapped with the ferocity of the street fighting over the last hour.

"Anderson, do you read?"

_{Loud and clear, Shepard}_ The Admiral responded almost immediately, but he sounded as though he too was out of breath. _{Things are getting rough out here!}_

"It's going to take all day to fight our way to the Crucible, Admiral." Shepard dragged both herself and Liara into a bomb crater. A broken water main had flooded the bottom and they both ended up in half a foot of water. "I don't think the Fleet can hold out that long against the Reapers. If they're wiped out, we'll have every Reaper in the Sol system down here grinding us into pulp!"

_{Go, Shepard!}_ Anderson replied almost immediately. _{The rest of us will push forward into their lines to draw them away from you}_

"That's suicide!" Shepard protested.

_{If it's the only way we'll get it done, then I don't care}_ Anderson replied. _{The remnants of Alpha, Bravo and Charlie can provide you with additional support, but we're pushing into their right flank}_

_{We'll rip them all a new asshole for you, Shepard!}_ Wrex added.

"Understood. Take care…both of you. Garrus, Ash, Javik…on me!" Shepard hauled herself to her feet and then Liara up after her. She gave the asari a steady look as the other members of her squad joined them. "No more charging off, got that?"

Liara nodded, exhaustion was evident on her face – along with a fresh coat of blood, dirt and Goddess knew what else. "I do not think I can." The asari drew her Carnifex instead. "I will remain at your side."

It took an immense effort for Shepard to ignore the sudden flurry of heavy weapons fire that they left behind as her squad started to move out. Instead, she focused herself on her ultimate objective. The Crucible was so close that Shepard could almost feel it calling to her. In brief moments when the noise slackened slightly, she could hear the pounding of her heart. Weak as it was, the last remaining Catalyst in her chest knew that they were close to the Crucible.

Suddenly a dark shadow fell over the surrounding battlefield. Although she did not need to look up to know what it was, Shepard's gaze was nevertheless drawn upwards. Like a raptor swooping on tiny prey, the Reaper plunged towards the earth, almost directly atop the positions they had just left behind. With a sickening twist in her gut, Shepard already knew that it was Harbinger even before she felt it. No soon had the pincers of its insectoid legs pierced the ground, its carapace opened and it fired directly at the Crucible.

"No" Shepard yelled involuntarily. The beam did little more than create a spectacular light show as it danced across the barrier the Crucible had thrown up around itself. Several more attacks ended with the same result. Shepard could see other Reapers descending, none were as close to the Crucible as Harbinger. "They're trying to destroy it," she hissed.

"Can they?" Liara asked.

Shepard clutched instinctively at her chest - the Catalyst was silent on the matter. She shook her head. "I don't know."

"That barrier has sustained thus far," Liara said as she paused in a doorway that was no longer attached to a house. "Perhaps it is capable of absorbing the destructive energy contained within those beams?"

"Perhaps," Shepard replied, not quite convinced by her bondmate's optimism. As she watched Harbinger move at will amidst the devastated streets of London, she felt a perfectly rational surge of anger flow through her body. This monster, destroyer of worlds...this Harbinger, she hated everything it stood for. The death of billions on a Galactic scale and the loss of her own future on an intimate, personal scale. Her own happiness was only a microcosm of the Galaxy as a whole but, as she drew her gaze to the shattered but still beautiful face of her bondmate, it meant everything to her. "And perhaps not. We are running out of time.”

Suddenly, without warning, Harbinger's next attack was directed not at the Crucible, but at the strike force scurrying insignificantly beneath it. Shepard watched helplessly, her expression frozen in a mask of horror, as the positions occupied by Anderson, Wrex and their soldiers were shredded in a series of rapid attacks. As Harbinger shifted forward and yet another red beam scorched the earth, Shepard realised with sickening clarity that they were in its trajectory.

"Move!"

* * *

 

_Goddess!_

Even though events seemed to unfold in slow motion, Liara could not react fast enough. As Harbinger’s attack carved downwards in an almost lazy arc, she felt as though her limbs were mired in a stasis field. Her warning shout left her lips a split second too late. Shepard was faster. Liara was still turning when she felt her bondmate's armoured bulk slam purposefully into her. Her neck jarred with the impact and she was sent sprawling. The packed rubble rushed towards her and slammed into the side of her face. A dull grunt escaped her lips. Seconds later she felt a wave of heat scorch the length of her body. Dazed and with a mouth full of blood, Liara remained down only long enough for the Reaper's beam to pass. She clawed her way into a crouch and surveyed the blackened surroundings.

Movement caught her eye. "Shepard!"

Her relief turned to disappointment when she realised it was Ashley. The marine appeared to have escaped unscathed and responded with a rushed thumbs up as she stood. Of Garrus, Javik and Shepard, Liara could see no immediate trace.

"Shepard!" Liara scrambled across melted rubble. She hardly cared that the heat seared straight through her gloves and burned her palms beneath.

"Liara, over here!"

Ashley's urgent shout drew her like a moth to a flame. Heedless of the battle raging around her, she ignored everything else as she made her way to where the LC knelt. Another of Harbinger's beams raked the earth less than a dozen metres from her position, but it could have been miles away for the scant attention she paid it. Her heart pounded in her chest solely due to a combination of exhaustion and fear for Shepard. When she finally saw Shepard, she felt sick to her stomach. She dropped like a stone at Ashley's side. Her knees hit the rubble with a crunch.

"Thank fuck you're okay," Shepard said upon seeing Liara hovering over her. She reached out a hand towards Ashley and motioned for the other marine to help her to her feet. "We can't afford to take a break. Help me up would you, LC?"

Liara let out the breath she had been holding. It emerged as one ragged sob before she could cut it short by pressing her fist to her mouth. Across the space of a few seconds, Liara squared her shoulders and forced herself to focus.

"I need all the gel and medical supplies you have, Ashley. Keep everything off our backs for as long as you can. You see it, you call it."

Ashley was already emptying out one of her webbing pouches into Liara's waiting hands. Her fist had already closed around her Black Widow. "I give us one…two minutes at the most before we need to get our asses the hell out of here."

Shepard was trying to haul herself upwards. "Liara-"

Liara placed her hand against her stubborn bondmate’s chest. It required very little force to keep Shepard down. She shook her head as she ripped open a packet of medi-gel savagely with her teeth. She spat out the waste and studied Shepard.

_Goddess, where do I start?_ "You reckless… obtuse…fool!" Liara could not contain her fury. The urgent retort of Ashley's powerful sniper rifle reverberated throughout her skull. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Calm down, we're both alive aren't we," Shepard protested. “Even though I feel like I've been through a meat grinder. My arm hurts like hell."

"Liara!" Ashley yelled over her shoulder. "We need to get Shepard moving!" The HUD on her Kuwashii visor picked out a slew of incoming targets. With pinpoint precision, she fired three rounds. Each drilled her target through the head. As she reloaded, the HUD zeroed in on a new threat. "Fuck it, we've got a fucking Brute surrounded by fucking Husks! Where the fuck is Vakarian when you actually need him?"

The incoming whine of heavy weaponry drove Liara to cover Shepard with her body. An explosive round burst scant metres away, showering her with dust and debris. When she straightened, she realised that the open pack of medi-gel was still in her hand and she hadn't even begun to treat Shepard. Although the Commander was still lucid, the pain was finally beginning to register on her face. Shepard's teeth were bared in a rictus as she struggled to keep from crying out.

"Don't move," Liara growled harshly. Steeling herself, she assessed the extent of Shepard's injuries. In shoving her aside from Harbinger's beam, Shepard had ruined her own chance at seeking cover. Although it had missed, it had come too close. The heat had cracked the visor of her helmet. Shepard's exposed jawline was bloody and raw. Much of the left side of her once shiny armour was melted and fused into a solid mass. The shoulder plate had been ripped away completely, leaving cracked skin beneath that oozed fluids and blood. Most of the armour below the shoulder was also missing or fused to the skin.

The sickening wounds culminated in a blackened stump just below Shepard's elbow. Half of her left arm had been seared off.

Shepard’s remaining hand raked weakly across her chestplate. "Take this off, I can't breathe."

Liara's trembling fingers worked at the quick release catches on Shepard's Shield Harness. She stripped the ruined armour and tossed it to one side even as she heard Ashley opening fire with her Valkyrie as opposed to the Black Widow. With her chest unrestricted, Shepard drew in a deep, rasping breath.

Without warning Shepard, Liara slathered the gel on her ruined arm. The resulting piercing scream left her on the brink of falling apart. Liara had never heard such pain in her bondmate's voice before. Fumbling amongst the packages in her lap, Liara found the one containing an all-purpose thermal mesh.

She tore it open and unravelled its length. "This is going to hurt." Another explosion burst, this time above their heads, Liara felt something ping off the back of her skull. The pain was followed by the abrupt warmth of blood, but she stubbornly ignored it as she bound the remnants of Shepard's arm with the mesh and secured it against her torso.

"Brute!" Ashley reminded them urgently.

“Okay, I’m helping you up.” Liara braced herself. With a grunt of effort, she hauled Shepard to her feet.

"Woah," Shepard muttered as she fought to remain upright. "Serious head trip."

Whilst supporting Shepard with one arm, Liara threw a stasis bubble with the other. No fewer than three husks were drawn into the swirling mass effect field. A resounding boom accompanied the detonation a few seconds later. The husks were ripped apart and the shockwave caught the already wounded Brute a glancing blow. Ashley had already succeeded in taking both of its eyes out. With a pained howl, it collapsed in the rubble – not quite dead, but unable to pursue them further.

"Stepping in front of a giant laser beam, not a good move, Skipper!" Ashley advised Shepard as she pushed ahead to take point.

"Stow it, LC." Shepard stifled another cry as she managed to force her legs to move at pace. Beside her, Liara almost struggled to keep up. "I'd give my arm for a bottle of Krogan brandy right about now.”

"That is not remotely amusing," Liara admonished harshly. Her legs felt like jelly beneath their combined weight.

* * *

 

Shepard wanted to apologise to Liara, but she knew there was very little point. When Harbinger's beam had swept towards their tiny squad, her instinctive reaction had been to protect her bondmate. In doing so, she'd almost sacrificed the one life that could not afford to be given away so cheaply – her own. What had started out as a sizable strike force was no reduced to one marine, one asari and one dead weight.

"Where are Garrus and Javik?" Shepard had realised neither the Turian nor the Prothean were with them.

As she paused to scan their surroundings, she fully expected Garrus to come sauntering over the nearest ruined building with a story to tell about how he'd wrestled a Brute to the ground himself. The thought that he had been caught in the beam itself was too much to comprehend.

"Missing," Liara had to force the single word out through her gritted teeth as she forced Shepard over a culmination of rubble blocking their path. "They're both missing."

It almost seemed as though Shepard had tapped into some inexplicable reserve of strength as she was the one to turn and help her over the obstacle. Ahead of the trio, the massive hulk of the Crucible dominated their sightline. They were less than a few hundred metres out. Although the Reaper barrage was sustained, the device remained unscathed behind its protective barrier. Shepard knew that the one thing that kept the Crucible intact was the next obstacle they had to face – its barrier. A part of her already knew that the massive construct would recognise the Catalyst within her body and allow her to enter – although that was still conditional on actually finding a door.

Two Cannibals moved sluggishly ahead of them. Ashley dropped both before they could get off more than a few shots in their direction. The accompanying Marauder presented more of a problem. Without Garrus's overload ability to strip its shields, the bastardised-turian managed to wing Ashley before she brought it down. When Liara and Shepard caught up, they found her in a kneeling position with her hand pressed against the side of her neck.

"You alright, LC?" Shepard asked.

Ashley drove herself to her feet and studied the blood covering her fingers. "Just splendid, Skipper." She saw Liara searching awkwardly for another medi-gel. "Spare the juice, Liara. I'm sure the Skipper will manage to get herself shot again before she gets to the Crucible."

Liara let out an exasperated breath. "You two are as bad as each other."

"We're marines," Shepard offered in reply. Liara attempted to adjust her grip to offer Shepard more support but she gently shrugged away from her altogether. Before Liara could protest, she explained, "You've got better things to do than carry my sorry arse. I need both your arms free in case we run into more trouble."

It was all Liara could do not to appear mortified when Shepard fumbled for the Carnifex that had been holstered at her waist. The heavy pistol was gone, striped clear during the blast that had almost killed her. Against her better judgment, Liara removed the Tempest SMG from her own webbing and passed it across to Shepard handle first.

Shepard tried to appear as normal as possible as she placed one foot after the other, although she feared she was walking like a drunken sailor. The Tempest sat heavily in her palm. She doubted that she would be able to hit anything, but there was something reassuring about having a weapon in her hand. Her vision continually swam in an out of focus. Despite the several applications of medi-gel that Liara had applied to her blackened skin, every inch of it felt like it was still on fire. The worst of the pain came from the arm that was no longer there. She could still feel each of her fingers. It felt as though someone had a white-hot blade pressed against her flesh. With each step she took, they sliced off a chunk, stripping the meat away from the bone with a savage, sawing motion.

The Crucible remained her focus point and Liara remained her strength. With her bondmate beside her, she no longer doubted her ability to see her fate through until the end.

Even before they reached the Crucible, Shepard had known the intensity of the Reaper bombardment as they sought to destroy the very weapon. Regardless of how many individual Reapers the Alliance managed to take down, there was always more swarming over London. Harbinger alone had wiped out most of the strike force and it seemed to _know_ that she was trying to reach the Crucible.

Suddenly what little cover there had been between them and the Crucible erupted into a seemingly solid wall of white light. All three of them were driven into cover. As she cried out in frustration and pain, Shepard heard three distinct words invade her consciousness

_{WE ARE HARBINGER}_

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

_{This is Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams, does anyone read me? I have Shepard with me but we are cut off from the Crucible. I repeat, we are cut off from the Crucible! Someone needs to take down that fucking Reaper or this whole show is over. Does anyone read me?}_

"Ash!" Miranda fought to keep panic from creeping into her voice and failed miserably. " _Normandy_ reads you. Ash?" When she received no response she looked over her shoulder towards Traynor. The Specialist's face was several shades paler than her usual colour. "Specialist, tell me you've got them?"

"I-I…ma'am, something is blocking our outgoing transmissions. I'm not sure but I think it might be the Crucible itself." Traynor scowled in frustration as her fingers worked into a blur across her console. Everything she tried flashed red back at her. "I'm afraid they can't hear us. Shepard…Ashley, Liara, they're completely cut off down there."

"Like hell they are," Miranda replied. She leapt from the Galaxy Map platform and brought up a tactical feed on her own console. "What about the Thanix missile battery at Outpost Oscar? It's still operational, why the hell are they not firing?"

_{I have picked up reports from Earth. It appears that the Crucible is interfering with the guidance systems of the weapons}_ EDI informed her. _{Without the targeting systems operating at peak efficiency, they will lack the accuracy to take down the Reaper}_

"I don't want to hear about the problems, EDI. Give me a solution."

_{If I could use the_ Normandy's _own targeting systems to enhance the weapons, then it would be possible to achieve the precision required. However, someone on the ground would need to establish a link via the launcher's control panel}_

"Where are we going to find someone to pull that off?" Miranda's voice was tinged with desperation.

_Oh bloody hell._ A thought instinctively popped into Sam's head. She stifled a groan. _Why am I always in the wrong place at the wrong time?_ "You're looking at her, ma'am."

"You're seriously considering this, Traynor?" Miranda asked. Her eyes widened in surprise as she watched Sam rummage in the compartment beneath her console.

Sam emerged with a toolkit and a stubborn expression. "With all due respect, Miranda, I can do this. Give me the green light to take the Kodiak and I'll get that battery online. If I don't, our people will die."

Miranda replied with a terse nod, even as Ashley's desperate plea sounded over the comm yet again. Traynor was already running towards the elevator as Miranda listened with her eyes closed, unable to even offer a simple reassurance that help was on its way.

"Joker, take the _Normandy_ in as close as you can. Avoid the Reapers," Miranda ordered.

_{Did anyone ever tell you that you have a talent for stating the obvious, Miranda?}_ Joker asked.

"Not if they ever wanted to have children," Miranda's acidic reply cut off any further comments. "And that's ma'am to you, _pilot_."

"Aye-aye, ma'am," a thoroughly chastened Joker replied. "Taking her down now."

BREAK

"Lieutenant Cortez!" With the tool kit sitting heavily across her shoulders as she ran, Sam tried to raise the shuttle pilot. "Is the Kodiak ready to go?"

_{She took something of a beating during the initial drop, but she's still operational. Let me guess, I'm going for another ride?}_ Cortez replied.

Sam slammed her palm against the elevator door. "Correct…and I'm coming too." She fervently hoped that Cortez's silence was a result of him scrambling to get the Kodiak up to spec as opposed to some sort of protest about shipping a techie into a combat zone.

"Specialist Traynor."

The doors were interrupted as they were closing by the metallic gleam of a perfectly proportioned arm. Sam caught her breath as EDI stepped into the elevator alongside her.

"EDI? What the hell are you doing?" Sam asked.

"I believe the correct term is back-up." EDI cocked her head to one side as she studied the sweat appearing on Sam's brow. "Unless of course you do not want me to accompany you to the surface?"

"Oh god yes!" Sam replied.

With EDI standing calmly at her side, Sam closed her eyes as the elevator carried the unlikely team down to the shuttle bay. Even with her unexpected back up, Sam was understandably shitting herself. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ They were the only coherent words running through her mind.

Five minutes later, the string of curses was still running through Sam's mind as another glancing miss buffeted the tiny Kodiak. Although she was strapped securely into the co-pilot's position, it seemed as though Steve Cortez was doing everything he could to ensure she lost her lunch as he threaded the craft across London's war torn skies. Sam had absolutely no desire to see a Reaper with her own physical gaze, but she already knew that this war paid no attention to the things she wanted.

"Please tell me you're still back there, EDI?" she asked.

"Specialist Traynor, it is unlikely that I would leave the shuttle craft at this point."

Sam let out a sigh of relief as the suave timbre of EDI's voice brought everything back into perspective. Granted EDI and her incredibly sexy voice were both artificial constructs, but she still felt reassured knowing that there was some beauty in the Galaxy left to save.

"After all we've been through together, EDI, can't you call me something other than Specialist Traynor?" Sam needed to keep talking to keep her mind off the fact that she was about to meet a spectacular end in a flaming shuttle. "Call me Sam, please?"

"Understood…Sam."

Seconds later, Cortez wrenched the Kodiak into yet another sharp bank and the thought was gone. She let out a sharp squeal. They had barely flown level for a second when the Kodiak plunged downwards. Sam's stomach gave a violent heave of protest moments before expelling its entire contents. With the downward motion of the shuttle, most of the vomit hit Sam squarely in her face.

Unsteady on her feet, an unnatural shade of green and with flecks of vomit plastered in her hair – this was the woman that scrambled from the Kodiak onto the streets of London several minutes later. Sam was uncomfortably aware of the pistol strapped to her thigh as she and EDI moved towards the Thanix missile battery.

_{You've got about three minutes!}_ Cortez yelled over the comm. _{Five at the most. Any longer and I'll be toast out here and you'll be walking home}_ The Kodiak hovered for several seconds before it clawed back into the air. Although the Kodiak had no weapons, being in the air was preferable to presenting a stationary target on the ground.

"Okay, you can do this," Traynor said to herself as she popped open the panel on the nearest launcher. "It's just a simple matter of extracting the one algorithm from several thousand lines of code…easy really. Then patching it through so the _Normandy's_ targeting systems can recognise it." Sam actually found herself with a grin on her face as she worked. In less than a minute she had set the battery on a synchronisation sequence. "Traynor, you are a bloody genius!"

"Are you addressing your comments to me, Sam?" EDI was hovering just behind her, a Carnifex held within her solid grasp as she watched their immediate perimeter.

"Oh, errr, no, EDI. I was, um, talking to myself," Sam admitted, slightly embarrassed. "Are we good to go?"

"Even with my processing power, the link to the _Normandy's_ systems will take precisely two hundred and fifty-seven seconds to complete." EDI informed her calmly.

Sam was nonplussed. "That's not long-"

"And the launch sequence must be activated from the ground, which means-"

"That we have to stay down here for two hundred and fifty-seven seconds!" Sam pointed out in a horrified tone. "EDI, there are Reapers down here!"

"Affirmative, Sam Traynor," EDI replied in her aggravatingly calm voice. "The most appropriate course of action would be for you to put down your tools, and draw your weapon. Taking cover is also highly recommended. As you are not wearing body armour, it would take just one hit from a light weapon to burn directly through your soft tissue. Heavier weapons would-"

"Okay, EDI, I get the general picture," Sam interrupted quickly.

The Specialist crouched down beneath the wheel bay of the launcher and fumbled for the pistol in her holster. With awkward motions, she checked that it had a thermal clip inserted. It seemed like an eternity since she had undergone basic training. The pistol felt different from the ones they had used on the range. It was heavy and cumbersome. When Sam practiced lining up a shot, she found her hands trembled to the point where aiming at anything was almost an impossible.

_It's just like a game of chess against someone you know you can't beat,_ she told herself carefully. _You just need to make the right moves, play a cautious game. No silly bugger show-off moves. You don't want to win, you just want to survive for as long as possible and save face._

"I believe we have incoming, Sam," EDI informed her calmly.

Only moments later the mobile AI deployed her decoy some distance from the launchers and their position. Sam was fixated by the perfect copy of EDI as it mimicked her movements. She was still staring when a sudden burst of red light scattered across the ground at the decoy's feet. It was only a few seconds later that Sam realised something was actually shooting at it.

At her first sight of the Cannibals she had heard so much about, she had to suppress a shiver. They were grotesque parodies of organic creatures that made her skin crawl. She was still staring as two advanced toward the launchers and their position. Before she could remember that she was supposed to shoot them, EDI lit them both up with Incinerate. After a brief cool down period during which the power ate into the Cannibal's flesh, the AI exploded her targets with Overload. Sam's entire body jumped in fright as organic and artificial flew apart in a myriad of small pieces. It was all Sam could do to watch as EDI fought. She had often imagined what it would look like, in reality it was altogether more beautiful and devastating that even in her wildest imaginations. Several scorch marks had already appeared on EDI's chassis but they appeared not to slow her down in the slightest.

_You're supposed to shoot something, Sam!_ The first time she lifted the pistol and depressed the trigger, she jerked so much that her shot went harmlessly wide of her target and slammed into rubble. With the second she managed to wing a Cannibal before the third slammed into its chest and brought it down altogether. _Hey, this shooting business is a piece of cake._

"There are precisely fifteen seconds remaining until the synchronisation is complete. You may want to move to the console," EDI said, even as she threw up yet another of her decoys.

While the copy attracted fire from both Cannibals and Marauders, for some reason it did not dupe the massive Brutes. Even as Sam moved to the panel, she watched as one of them surge across the battlefield with surprisingly quick movements of its ungainly limbs.

"Sam, the console," EDI reminded her. Even her usually expressionless voice sounded insistent. "I will address the problem of the incoming hostiles."

_One bloody big, hostile,_ Sam thought as she scrambled out from beneath the wheel of the launcher. As hostile fire pinged off its sides, she realised that she her 'soft tissue' as EDI so delightfully explained, was exposed. The split second the synchronisation was complete Sam entered the launch code and depressed the firing command. She did not see the moment the Thanix missiles launched. As the thrusters fired, Sam felt a searing pain across her upper arm. It felt as though she had been lashed with some sort of whip when she was spun around and thrown against the side of the truck. Instinctively she reached up with her hand. She drew it back to find her palm covered in blood.

"Oh my god," she whispered. She’d been shot. It felt as though all the blood drained from her head as spots started to appear in front of her eyes. "EDI?" Sam called out as she sank back against the now empty launcher.

A sudden growl drew Sam's attention and she looked up in time to see and hear EDI's body being thrown several metres. Sam yelled out an unrecognisable sound, somewhere between a scream and a yell as she drew the pistol. The sound continued as she emptied the entire clip in the direction of the Brute advancing on EDI. The AI was hauling herself to her feet at the moment that the Reaper engineered creature wrapped one of its claws around her slender waist. Without pausing, it lifted her like a ragdoll and slammed her into the ground. Sam's finger continued to jerk uselessly against the trigger even after her thermal clip was exhausted.

"EDI!"

_{Specialist, you ready to go?}_ Cortez's voice hardly registered. However, when Sam turned around, she saw the Kodiak hovering above the surface, several metres away. The Reapers around her had already began to target it, shots were pinging off its shields. _{Traynor, I gotta haul ass now!}_

With one last desperate glance back in time to see the Brute crush EDI's ruined body into the dirt beneath its feet, Sam turned and started scrambling towards the waiting Kodiak. She ignored the pain in her arm and ran at full tilt, ignoring the possibility that her fleeing back made an excellent target.

"Where's EDI?" Cortez yelled over his shoulder as Sam hit the deck of the shuttle.

Sam shook her head. With her ears ringing and her arm burning, Sam dragged herself into the co-pilots seat next to Cortez as he gunned the thrusters to full power. "She didn't make it," Sam finished, feeling both exhausted and sick to her stomach.

"Shit." Cortez gave her a quick glance. "You both did well, Traynor. Look."

Sam followed the direction of Cortez's gaze. Her lips parted. The Thanix missiles must have scored a crippling hit. The massive Reaper that had positioned itself by the Crucible was collapsing as its legs folded beneath it, great billows of black smoke poured from its carapace. Sam was transfixed as it slowly crumpled downwards. They'd done it. Shepard had a chance.

* * *

 

Somewhere at the back of her mind Shepard was aware of Ashley uttering a whoop of triumph. Shepard did not need to look up to know that somehow Harbinger had been brought down – she could no longer hear the Reaper inside her mind.

_You're almost there, Ev._ The Crucible seemed to taunt her. Although it filled the entire breath of her vision, it seemed to take an eternity to reach it. All around them, explosions buffeted the ground upon which they walked. She was dimly aware of the patter of Ashley's Valkyrie and the dull thumps made every time Liara detonated a biotic explosion. Both her companions were driving themselves into their graves to ensure she made it. Liara used her biotics sparingly as she tired.

_Come on you colossal piece of shit,_ she scowled up at the Crucible. _Your fucking battery is here, complete with its own human-sized carry case._

In the same vein as her movements in the presence of the Prothean beacons she had encountered, Shepard found herself being drawn towards the Crucible. There came a point where she could not tell whether the pain had stopped altogether, or if it had completely consumed her consciousness to become white noise. Either way, Shepard did not care. She pressed forward.

The destruction of Harbinger had engrossed both Liara and Ashley until they watched it topple earthwards. It was only when Liara wrenched her gaze away and saw Shepard tottering on unsteady legs towards the Crucible that she snapped out of her stupor. She paused long enough to slam her fist against Ashley's backplate to get her attention. Then she was running, heedless of the unstable rubble beneath her feet or the fact that her heart threatened to burst if she continued to push herself. She was scant metres behind Shepard when the Commander suddenly seemed to shimmer in front of her eyes. Her entire body passed through the barrier as though it were merely water.

"Shepard!"

Liara saw her bondmate turn at the shout. Her eyes were slightly glazed as though she was not entirely there. When Liara tried to pass through the same barrier, she cried out in sudden pain. Her palm had been the first point of contact. In an instant, the remaining pads of her glove were disintegrated, along with a layer of skin beneath. Shepard's remaining arm suddenly remerged from the barrier with the sole intent of shoving Liara backwards and away from the barrier. Ashley was already behind her. The marine caught her before she could fall.

Although her palm was excruciatingly painful, Liara did not care. She staggered back towards the barrier and caught Shepard's extended hand.

"It's not going to let you through the barrier, Liara," Shepard informed her in a hollow voice. However, over the following seconds, as Liara gripped her hand like a lifeline, her eyes gradually came back into focus. "I can't keep my promise to let you stay with me," she whispered, shaking her head softly. "It looks as though I'm supposed to end this on my own."

Liara stifled a sob. With immeasurably determined resolve, she forced herself not to give into the despair that was threatening to engulf her. Although she was dimly aware of Ashley's arm around her waist as the marine made sure she did not try to throw herself into the barrier again, her attention was solely focused on her bondmate.

"Evan…I-I…" Faced with one of her worst nightmares, she struggled to find the words.

Shepard looked over her shoulder, a nearby aperture seemed to be beckoning her. When she looked back to Liara, she gave a ragged sigh. "The Crucible is running out of time. I need to go-"

"Wait" Liara pleaded. "I need to give you something, please!" At Shepard's nod, she continued, "Close your eyes."

They closed their eyes at the same moment as Liara drew Shepard into one more meld. It lasted mere seconds, before she broke it off. When she opened her eyes, Shepard had a broad smile on her otherwise haggard face. "Thank you," she whispered. "I love you, Liara. No matter what happens today, I'll always love you." Shepard let her hand slip from Liara's grasp as she stepped backwards. Her arm fell back through the barrier. "Ash, can you do me one last favour and get Liara the hell away from the Crucible?"

Ashley Williams nodded determinedly. "Aye-aye, Skipper."

Liara's expression and her entire body crumpled as Shepard turned away from her. If not for Ashley's hold, she would have fallen into the dirt. "For the love of the Goddess, let me go!" Liara pushed ineffectually with her arms, but Ashley's grip was vice-like. "Please! Evan...Evan!"

It was too late, the next time she blinked Shepard was gone. Liara was dimly aware of Ashley yelling something at her, but she couldn't hear the words. Instead she struggled as the soldier tried to drag her backwards. Weak and exhausted, she could do very little other than dig her heels into the earth and refuse to move.

Eventually Ashley's own fatigue caught up with her and she stumbled, dragging them both downwards. It was all she could do to keep her hold on Liara's waist in case she tried to run. She felt the asari sag limply in her arms. A few moments later her body began to shake with unrestrained sobs as she stared up at the Crucible.

"We need to move," Ashley urged quietly.

"I don't care," Liara whispered in a broken voice.

Ashley responded with a primal grunt of rage. Somewhere she found a hidden reserve of strength as she hauled Liara back to her feet. "On your feet, soldier!" she yelled in a hoarse voice. "I'll be damned if I'm going to let you give up. Not after Shepard has given everything so that you can live."

Somehow Liara planted her feet beneath her. They started running and eventually Ashley did not need to urge her on as she found a will of her own. She cast just one glance back over her shoulder at the Crucible. Shepard had been right all along, she had to end it on her own. _Goddess be with you_ , Liara thought. She refused to give into any sort of grief, not yet, not while there was still a shred of hope.

* * *

 

When the aperture closed behind her, Shepard found herself in total darkness inside the Crucible. In that awful moment, she felt the weight of what had happened and what was to come pressing down on her slim shoulders. The agony she was in drove her to one knee. Her armour hit with a dull thud. Gone was the cacophony of sound that had filled her ears throughout the past several hours. There was nothing except an eerie silence and the sound of blood pounding between her ears. Shepard felt tired and very alone.

_You're not alone._

She fumbled for Liara's Tempest which she had holstered at her side. The light from the SMG cast a feeble beam into the blackness, but it was just enough to see by. Although she had no idea where she was supposed to go, an insistent tug just below her navel gently hauled her forwards, up a gradually rising slope.

The interior of the Crucible wasn’t designed for functionality. Its corridors were even more difficult to navigate as a result of the structural damage it had suffered during its fall to Earth. The deck beneath her feet was unstable and, in some places, slippery with the blood of the dead. Shepard had only passed three bodies, but each one sapped a little more of her strength. Shepard struggled without the reassuring presence of Liara and Ash. All she had to drive herself forward was the gift Liara had given her in the moments before they parted. She stubbornly clung to the images in her head as she kept placing one foot after the other.

With a cry, Shepard crumpled to her knees for the third or fourth time in the space of only a few minutes. The phantom pains from her missing arm felt like someone was driving a knife through her body each time she took a step. Usually she was unable to claw her way back to her feet, but this time she sagged. Even the light seemed to have grown steadily dimmer. Ahead of her, she could see the vague outline of yet another ladder leading upwards. Shepard had already dragged herself up several, finding each one harder to surmount than the last. Holstering the Tempest, she drew in a ragged breath and took hold of the ladder with her hand. It was awkward and taxing, but somehow she managed to drag herself slowly up each rung. When she reached the top, she slithered over the edge on her side and collapsed on her back. She lay gasping for air and desperately wanted to close her eyes. _You close them now and you'll never open them again,_ she told herself harshly.

A sudden, furtive movement in the darkness ahead brought a cold chill down over her entire body. Shepard's first thought was that somehow Reaper ground forces had found a way into the Crucible. Using her legs, she pushed herself into a sitting position and pressed her back up against the side of the corridor. She unholstered the Tempest, but when she tried to aim she found that she could not lift the SMG into a firing position. The unmistakable sound of boots followed, the almost tentative footsteps were not heavy enough to be anything other than a person.

"Don't come any closer, I'll shoot." It was a woman's voice, taunt with fear and strain.

"I couldn't come closer even if I wanted to," Shepard replied, feeling an overwhelming flood of relief at the human contact.

A light emerged from the darkness ahead. "Commander Shepard?"

"What's left of her," Shepard muttered.

The footsteps intensified as the woman broke into a run. Seconds later the shadow ahead became recognisable as a person. Shepard saw a tattered Alliance uniform and a face she thought she recognised from another lifetime. When she dropped to her own knees in front of her, Shepard recognised the young woman she had dragged out of Alliance Headquarters in Vancouver. It was Lucy Park.

"My god…" Lucy whispered upon seeing Shepard's blackened armour and the ruined arm strapped to her chest. "Are you…"

Lucy hardly looked much better herself. Where her left eye should have been, there was a gaping red wound. The rest of her face and neck were covered in flash burns.

"I'm fine, Park. Or rather, I'm still alive at least," Shepard managed. "And I am fucking happy to see you. Help me up will you?"

Lucy shifted position so that Shepard could throw her remaining arm over her shoulder. She sagged beneath the Commander's weight, but somehow they both managed to stand.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do," Lucy admitted, trying to inject some form of optimism into her voice.

"I need to get somewhere," Shepard explained. "Your job is to make sure I get there…if you're willing?"

"I've got nothing better to do have I?" Lucy replied. It was hardly appropriate, but she felt an odd swell of pride in her chest when she realised that the extent to which the Commander was depending on her. "Will this end the war?" she asked quietly.

"I hope so," was Shepard's limited response. The brief words were all she could manage as her strength slowly ebbed from her body. She felt herself leaning too heavily on the small woman that supported her, but somehow Lucy managed to keep them both moving forward.

_The heat within the dig site was stifling. Shepard was uncomfortably aware of sweat forming at the nape of her neck. Soon it would start running down her back and soaking her body suit. The copious amounts of sweat would lead to chafing, and chafing would lead to a very uncomfortable mission. The sooner they could locate this fucking archaeologist and get the hell off this cess pit of a planet, the better._

Who the hell becomes an archaeologist anyway? _Shepard thought with unrestrained derision._ It's all a load of namby pamby bullshit.

_No one had asked her opinion in this particular matter. She was a soldier. Her orders were to retrieve this Dr T'Soni from Therum, and that's exactly what she was going to do. Shepard glanced over her shoulder, Gunnery Sergeant Williams and Garrus were still with her. The human’s face was coated in a sheen of sweat whereas Garrus appeared unconcerned by the heat._

" _Hello! Is someone there?"_

_Shepard heard the thin, frightened voice before she saw its source. Signalling to her squadmates to approach cautiously, she moved through into the next room. Their path was blocked by a shimmering blue barrier of unknown origin. However, that was not what held Shepard transfixed. She could only see the asari that was suspended in the middle of the barrier. She gave into the temptation to remove her helmet, sweeping her hand across her brow as she tucked it under her arm._

_Shepard had known a few asari in her time, this one appeared young…and she was impossibly beautiful. Her science uniform was stained with sweat and grime. She looked exhausted. As she approached the barrier, Shepard felt something give a funny little tug in her chest when the asari's tired gaze focused on her. It was like a jolt that went straight through her chest._

I take back every offensive comment I ever made about archaeologists, _she thought._ Especially if they're all that fucking gorgeous.

" _By the Goddess, are you really there?" the asari asked in a hoarse whisper._

" _Dr Liara T'Soni?" Shepard asked expectantly._

" _Um...yes, yes I am," the young scientist replied hesitantly. It was as though she was still unable to believe that someone was actually standing in front of her. Liara licked her lips. "There were…things, strange machines in here, and a Krogan I think it was. They claimed to have come under the auspices of my mother, but I did not believe them. I activated the barrier…but I-I trapped myself. Who are you…and why are you here?"_

" _My name is Commander Shepard, I'm with the Systems Alliance…and I've come to rescue you Liara T'Soni."_

"Shepard…Commander Shepard!"

Shepard's eyes opened slowly and her head lolled about on her shoulders before she could focus. She managed to orientate herself somewhat. There was a dull red glow emanating from something just front of her. As her eyes adjusted to the strange light, Shepard saw that there was an apparatus at the heart of a small, cylindrical room.

"I'm…back, Park," Shepard croaked. Her voice wasn't working properly. "I'm sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment." _I was dreaming about Liara_. "Where are we?"

"I think this might be where you're supposed to go," Lucy said quietly.

"It is," Shepard nodded weakly. "How do you know?"

"Your scars…and your eyes…they're um…they're glowing red…" Lucy's voice trailed off.

Shepard realised that the dull red glow that she could see was not coming from anywhere in the room, it was her. She did not need to see herself in a mirror to know how inhuman she must appear to the young woman at her side. At that moment the Crucible gave a violent shudder beneath her feet. It reminded her that they were all running out of time.

"Time to get plugged in," Shepard rasped.

"What?" Lucy did not bother to conceal her shock.

"The Catalyst…it's me, or rather, it's inside me," Shepard informed her as they hobbled towards the nerve centre of the entire Crucible. "Kind of funny really when you think about it. All this galactic effort to build the Crucible and it relies on one sorry excuse for a solider to kick start it. Had it been up to me all along, I would have come up with a far better plan."

Although Shepard had very little technical knowledge, it took only a cursory glance for her to realise that the apparatus in front of her had been designed around the Catalyst in its pure form – the small lump of organic crystal.

"Fuck," Shepard whispered as she studied it with draining hope. "I didn't think…"

She studied the narrow platform in front of her. There was a small, shallow resting cradle at the centre, hovering just above it was an armature. Four needle-like pincers extended downwards – each one looked to be half a foot in length. They were obviously designed to descend and grip the Catalyst when it sat on the cradle. Short of ripping her heart out of her chest, Shepard was at a loss as to what to do.

"I need to get up there, Park!" Shepard announced. Ignoring the pain, she used her good hand to rip the mesh bandage that kept the stub of her left arm strapped to her chest. As Lucy watched on in horror, she then started to try and drag herself onto the narrow platform.

Lucy hesitated at first, before moving forward to drag and push Shepard beneath the armature. "What are you doing?" she asked as Shepard rolled over onto her back and tried to drag the zipper of her bodysuit downwards. With trembling hands, Lucy did it for her as Shepard dragged the suit open.

"You got a knife?" Lucy shook her head and Shepard continued, "There should be one in my right boot if I haven't managed to lose it…cut this damn bra off." Armed with the knife, Lucy carefully slipped the tip beneath Shepard's bra. With the soft sound of tearing fabric, it came apart. The spidery red scars covering her chest were laid bare. Shepard pressed her head back against the platform and let out a hiss of air in preparation. "Park…Lucy…this next part is going to be a little difficult for the both of us. You need to drive that thing into my chest, just here-" Shepard's remaining hand hovered over her heart "-hard and fast before I realise that this whole thing is fucking insane."

Lucy shook her head stubbornly. "Commander…I-I…you can't ask me to do that," she protested, her voice rising an octave. "You'll die…"

Shepard bared her teeth in what was supposed to be a grin. "Yeah, but the Reapers will die first." The grin disappeared and she closed her eyes. _I told myself I wasn't allowed to close my eyes._ When she spoke again, her voice was little more than a whisper. "Please, if you can't do it, there's no hope for anyone…I've already broken my promise to her, help me save her life…Liara…she is my everything..."

Lucy had little idea as to who or what the Commander was talking about, but she could clearly hear the unmistakable notes of emotion evident in her voice as she lingered over the name. She was unable to stop her hand from trembling violently as she reached up to grip the armature with both hands. The entire apparatus moved easily as she positioned it above the pulsing red morass on Shepard's chest. Still in a state of disbelief, Lucy allowed a few seconds to brace herself. With a sharp intake of breath, she plunged the armature downwards with a sudden, violent motion of her arms. What was left of Shepard's flesh parted all too easily beneath the pincers. Ignoring the tortured scream dragged from the Commander's throat, Lucy stopped pushing only when it was clear the device would not go any further. She jerked her hands away from the armature as though it was burning and stumbled several paces backwards in a horrified stupor at what she had just done. The scream gradually died, and Lucy was left shaking, her body soaked in a cold sweat.

"Get the fuck…out of here."

The voice that emerged from Shepard's mouth did not sound entirely her own. It was almost artificial, as though something else was using her as a conduit. Lucy doubted though that the Catalyst would be solely responsible for the choice of words.

"I don't know where to go…" Lucy realised that she was asking a dying woman for help.

"Up," The Shepard-Catalyst continued. "A door will open for you."

Lucy paused, she thought that she ought to say something at least, but the only words that came to mind were, "Thank you, Commander Shepard."

She did not know whether Shepard was incapable of responding at that point, only that she heard nothing as she made her way through the trembling room and into a corridor beyond. Once again, she found herself on another catwalk above another seemingly bottomless void. Lucy gritted her teeth and pushed forward. The catwalk ahead was sharply sloped, but she could already see the door at the far end. Another violent shudder rattled the superstructure and Lucy started running lest the whole catwalk give way.

Lucy slammed her palm against the door mechanism at the moment that the ruined catwalk began to quiver in its death throes beneath her feet. Somehow the safety protocols had been overridden, the door opened and Lucy was almost sent flying as a blast of air slammed into her. An awful screech of metal drove her forward – her feet scrambling at the same moment that the catwalk parted company with its supports. Without hesitation she surged over the threshold before she could lose momentum.

"Fuck!" Lucy yelped in an undignified voice as she almost threw her body into a suicidal swan dive from the Crucible. With her arms wind-milling frantically, she arrested her forward motion. Far from being her saving grace, the exit had led to nothing more than a narrow ledge high above the rubble of central London. "Oh fuck everything!" Lucy whispered as she dared a glance downward. "What is it with fucking heights?"

Without warning, the exit she had used suddenly sealed itself behind her. Lucy was left staring downwards, fixated on the fact that the ledge was so narrow that the toes of her boots were resting on absolutely nothing. She tried to shift herself into a better position, but after a few heart-stopping seconds, she realised that keeping her back pinned against the door was the best she could make of a seriously shitty situation. Save for those few Alliance forces who were still in the air, Lucy's vantage point was incomparable. She could barely make out the ground forces moving amidst the broken buildings, but she was almost eye to eye with the colossal Reapers stalking around the Crucible. As its once solid barrier started to fracture beneath the immense strain, one of the Reapers opened fire. The red beam was so brilliant it seared her good eye to the point where she was forced to close it. Beneath her, she felt the Crucible give off a shudder of protest. Her precarious perch suddenly shifted and she pressed her nails into the unyielding structure behind her.

_Okay, Suze, you know how you always said I'd die peacefully in my sleep?_ Susannah had often teased her about her penchant for risk avoidance. It was a comment that often caused friction between them. Although Susannah meant it as a joke, Lucy couldn't help but think that her wife was saying that she was boring. _Don't think that's going to happen._ Lucy kept her eye squeezed tightly shut as another violent movement shook the structure around her.

Somehow she managed to activate her omni-tool in one desperate plea for help. "This is Lieutenant Park, I'm…um, at the top of the Crucible. If there's anyone still flying out there…I'd really appreciate a lift."

* * *

 

The initial pain as Park plunged the armature downwards had been excruciating. It was the worst of her heart attacks, multiplied by a factor of a thousand. However, in the silence that followed, Shepard felt nothing other than an overwhelming sense of purpose. The Crucible was dying…and she was dying along with it, but both device and human had saved enough strength to fulfil the role they had been designed for. Only dimly aware of her ruined physical body, Shepard's consciousness existed on another level. It was a level where she instinctively knew how to activate the Crucible and cleanse the Reapers from the Galaxy once and for all.

It was an ingenious piece of technology - beautiful in terms of unquantifiable destructive potential. The Crucible was the culmination of the efforts of hundreds of advanced civilisations, representing every hope and dream for a future for untold billions. Shepard had only one dream left, and she held onto it as firmly as she could…even as she set into motion the sequence that would fire the Crucible.

" _Wait…I need to give you something…"_

_Shepard had allowed herself to be drawn into her last meld with Liara. In the blink of an eye, her pain and her ruined body fell away and she was whole again. She did not recognise the place where she was, nor was it important. What was important was the tiny form she cradled in her arms. As Shepard watched, her daughter's eyes opened – they were bright and blue...just like her mother's. While the infant was perfectly serene, her father's face spread into a grin at the same time that she started crying. A few moments later Shepard sniffed noisily as she realised that her nose was running._

" _You'd think after being present at three birthings you would manage to be a little more dignified about the whole process," a tired voice scolded from the bed beside her._

_With both the grin and the tears still in place, Shepard looked up at Liara. Her bondmate was clearly exhausted, but there was a sleepy smile on her face. Her cheeks were radiant and flushed with excitement._

" _How can I be dignified when faced with such beauty?" Shepard replied honestly. She reluctantly passed the tiny bundle into Liara's waiting arms. "I suppose the little monsters will want to meet their new sister." She turned over her shoulder to the door. "I know the two of you are outside, I can hear you whispering from here."_

_The door opened tentatively and two small faces peered anxiously into the room._

_"Can we come in, Dad?" the eldest asked in an eager voice. "Please?"_

_As soon as Shepard made a beckoning motion with her hand, the two young asari scampered forward. The taller of the two barely came to her waist, while her little sister had difficulty keeping up on her chubby legs. Shepard easily swept them both up in an arm each and deposited them on the bed next to their mother. They craned forward so they too could see and pronounce that she was indeed beautiful._

_Shepard folded herself down onto the bed next to Liara and wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a loving embrace as she watched her two elder daughters speak in hushed tones. She pressed her lips against Liara's forehead, inhaling the sweat and other sweet scents that lingered on her skin. She could not remember a time when she had ever been so happy._

The Crucible fired.

* * *

 

Lucy saw something shimmer in the air around the Crucible. As another of the Reaper attacks slammed into it, she realised that the protective barrier that had prevented it from being destroyed already had finally given out. Beneath the palms of her hands which were desperately pressed against the structure, she felt an odd buzzing sensation that made her sick to her stomach. Either the Crucible was about to fire, or it was about to go up in one giant blaze. Lucy closed her eyes. _Of course no one's still flying_ , she thought. _They're either all dead or they're getting the hell out of here._

_{Anyone would think I was operating a goddamn taxi service}_

Lucy's eyelids jerked opened at the unexpected sound. Amidst the rising plumes of coal black smoke and the continual fall of flaming pockets from the Reaper ships orbiting Earth, she picked out the implausibly welcome sight of an Alliance Kodiak shuttle being flown at breakneck speed toward her. At the last possible moment, the pilot brought it about in a sharp turn just below her. The door opened as the shuttle slowly rose to hover as close as possible to her ledge. A young woman stood in the doorway with one arm extended.

"You'll have to jump I'm afraid," she called across the gap in a strong British accent.

Anything was preferable to remaining on the Crucible. Lucy nodded. Without giving herself time to think about what she was doing, she launched herself forward in a headfirst dive. She cleared the gap and slammed hard into the arms of the Alliance soldier. They both tumbled to the deck of the shuttle in a tangle of limbs. Lucy barely had time to orientate herself before the shuttle was yanked violently to the right.

"Got ya!" the pilot yelled over his shoulder.

Torn between relief and terror, all Lucy could do was cling to the warmth she found beside her as the Kodiak bucked wildly beneath them. She was too tired even for tears.

"I'm not even going to ask what the bloody hell you were doing up there," the other woman commented in a soft voice.

"Helping the bravest woman I've ever met," Lucy whispered. She looked up into a pair of warm brown eyes and simply stared for several seconds, too tired to even express her gratitude. She wondered if she ought to extricate herself from what felt strangely like an embrace, but that was also the last thing she wanted. "Lucy," she managed.

"Huh?" the other woman's response sounded confused as though she had not heard what Lucy said.

"My name, I'm Lucy…Lucy Park."

"Oh!" A bright red flush spread across the woman's cheeks. She managed a small smile. "Sam Traynor."

"You two better hold on to each other a little tighter!" the pilot yelled through gritted teeth. "Cos I think that thing is about to blow!"

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

_{The Normandy's shields are at thirty-five percent and falling, ma'am!}_ Joker informed her, _{I hate to tell you this now, but she wasn't made to go up against Reapers!}_

"Thanks for the advice, Joker," Miranda replied sarcastically. She didn't need anyone to tell her that they were fucked, least of all a glorified monkey at the wheel of a ship. She was perfectly capable of ascertaining for herself that the _Normandy_ was approaching critical damage levels.

_{Ms. Lawson, I do believe that the Crucible has just fired}_

"Say again, EDI?" Miranda demanded. It was the first time the AI had spoken since she had informed them of the destruction of her physical body almost an hour earlier.

_{I detect a massive energy surge from the Crucible. I suggest bracing yourself}_

With the awful thought that the _Normandy_ might not be able to withstand whatever energy was being emitted from the Crucible, Miranda gripped the console in front of her as she watched the vid screen. The Reaper nearest the _Normandy_ was suddenly engulfed. She felt a swell of triumph seconds before it hit the small frigate. Despite her handhold, Miranda was thrown from her post and across the deck as the Normandy's inertial dampeners went offline. Around her the superstructure of the ship groaned in protest.

"Come on, you stubborn bitch, hold together!" she hissed through her teeth. _I am damn well going to see Ash again._

* * *

 

Liara's biotics had long since reached their point of exhaustion. She was experienced enough to know that if she tried to throw something even as simple as Warp, she would collapse. Her Carnifex was hot to the touch, its barrel red with the heat of the shots it had discharged as she and Ashley fought for their lives in the rubble of London. At her back, she could hear the rapid pulses of Ashley's Valkyrie. The marine had long since abandoned her Black Widow in the close quarter fighting.

Liara ejected yet another exhausted clip, only to realise that she had no more in reserve. "I am out!" she yelled over her shoulder.

"Hate to tell you, but this is my last damn clip!" was Ashley's less than ideal response.

A sharp pain stung at her leg, a hit, severe enough to drive her to her knees. At her half-smothered cry, Ashley looked over her shoulder and saw that she had fallen. She drilled two more husks in rapid succession before she squeezed the trigger and nothing happened. With a grunt of disgust, she pulled out the last of her inferno grenades. When she pulled the pin, Liara thought for a few moments that the marine did not intend to throw it. However, a split second later, she launched it directly into the nearest cluster of Cannibals. Those at the heart of the explosion were killed instantly, while others were drenched with incendiaries. They stumbled mindlessly as their flesh burned. Liara caught the whiff of a foul smell.

Ashley extended her omni-blade as she hovered protectively over Liara's fallen form.

"You should go, Ashley." Liara knew that her leg wound was not serious, but there was no way she could run. "You could link up with Anderson's units...give yourself a chance."

The look that Ashley gave her in response told Liara exactly what she thought of that plan. "The Skipper would bust me all the way back to boot if she knew I'd just left you here. No way, Liara, no way in hell. I made a promise and I intend to keep it."

A husk surged across the wall that they were using as a barricade. It threw itself towards Ashley but the marine countered with a sharp swing of her blade. As the first dropped, two more took its place. She slashed at the throat of the nearest, even as it raked her fact with its claws. Her boot drove into the chest of the second, sending it flying backwards.

With a sense of finality, Liara drew her gaze to the Crucible in the distance. Her eyes widened when she realised that it was actually firing. Even as its superstructure began to implode, a massive torrent of pent up energy burst outwards from its apex. In the split second before it was on them, Liara drove herself past her limits to throw up a desperate barrier over herself and Ashley. She felt the full force drive into the weak shields, but somehow they held, even as her vision began to cave in. The field died as she collapsed. As she heard Ashley yelling out her name, her blurred vision still registered the last moments of the Crucible amidst massive spheres of flame and light.

"Evan…"

Her entire world went black.

 


	35. What Comes After

_{I've got the Kodiak on a rendezvous trajectory now.}_

Joker usually managed to inject an element of humour into his words regardless of the situation, but even he sounded flat and close to collapse. Although it no doubt had something to do with the battering that they had just received, the fact that EDI's physical body had been destroyed was now beginning to sink in. Even the A.I herself was subdued, as though in mourning. The _Normandy_ was barely in one piece following the destruction of the Crucible, the frigate's shields were fried and they were practically dead in the water save for their thrusters. They would be unable to go to FTL if required.

"Understood, Moreau," Miranda replied. She felt how she imagined the _Normandy_ would feel, had it been sentient. After being thrown around like a rag doll when the inertial dampeners were knocked offline, her entire body felt like one large bruise. A quick glance down at her side confirmed that at least one of her wounds had reopened to create a dark stain across her uniform. "Inform Cortez that I want the shuttle prepped for immediate redeployment."

She knew that her own voice sounded harsh and insensitive, but it was a deliberate attempt to mask an underlying fear. They'd lost all contact with the _Normandy's_ ground teams. Comms, suit telemetry and locator beacons had all failed to come back online which meant that they had no idea where their people were or even if they'd survived. Her friends were down there…and her lover. For all Miranda knew, Ash could be bleeding out somewhere in the rubble. This thought finally propelled her to action.

"Doctor Chakwas?" She was already moving toward the elevator when the words left her lips.

The response was almost immediate. _{Miranda?}_

"Meet me in the shuttle bay with your field kit five minutes ago, we're going groundside," Miranda informed her in a matter-of-fact tone. She could feel her own wound pulsing blood and jammed her palm hard against it. The resulting pain dragged a gasp from the back of her throat. She clenched her teeth. "And I'm going to need some medical attention on the way down."

* * *

 

Everything was thrown upside down as Cortez guided the Kodiak down over London for the third time that day. It took every ounce of resolve in Miranda's arsenal to keep the steely expression on her face from slipping. The city below her was little more than one large pile of smouldering ruins. How anyone had slogged their way through it was beyond belief.

A few minutes earlier, Chakwas had taken one look at her reopened wounds and threatened to relieve her of command. This had resulted in a tense stand-off before the doctor realised that she would have to sedate Miranda to stop her going groundside. Chakwas grudgingly patched up the wound in her side and pumped her full of painkillers to the point where Miranda felt as though she could take on the world.

Lieutenant Cortez brought the Kodiak over what Miranda supposed to be the shattered super structure of the Crucible. Much of the massive device was still ablaze, flames licking at already blackened and twisted metal. It looked nothing like the almost elegant construct it had once been. Miranda cared nothing for the Crucible, but she did care for the one person she knew to have been inside. Barring an absolute miracle, there was no way that the inferno was survivable. Her eyes slid closed to both mask her pain and find solace in her memories.

_"What?" Miranda asked simply._

_"Is this it?" Shepard replied._

_"If by 'it' you mean the end of a month of perfectly acceptable sex then yes," she continued._

_Shepard shrugged. "I guess. It just seems..."_

_"Please don't tell me you're going all emotional on me, Shepard," Miranda interrupted the silence. "Because I'm quite sure that we both knew exactly what this arrangement was...but if you decide you don't want to run back to the good Dr T'Soni, then I'm sure we've got another twelve months left in this before we tear each other to pieces."_

_Shepard shook her head quickly, a trace of a smile on her lips. "Nothing like that. I just wanted you to know that you're a good friend. I care about-"_

_"I am going to stop you right there," Miranda held up a finger of warning. However, she couldn't keep the grin from creeping onto her face as her reciprocal feelings made themselves known. She gathered up a handful of Shepard's clothes and tossed them onto the bed. "I think it's past time you got dressed, Commander. Lying around naked does nothing for your good sense."_

_"I'll say it again - you are a bitch, Miranda Lawson," Shepard replied as she dragged her t-shirt over her head._

A tremulous sigh escaped Miranda's lips. It had been more than a month of perfectly acceptable sex. It had been the beginnings of the first friendship she'd ever had. Without it she would not have found her way to Ash.

 _No, Shepard, you were always the bitch,_ Miranda thought. She opened her eyes and was grateful to find that the Crucible was no longer in sight. _A bloody self-righteous bitch. I spent two years of my life and a colossal fortune putting you back together and you throw it away to save the damn Galaxy._

The possibility that she had lost both Shepard and Ashley was something she wasn't willing to consider.

"Ma'am?" Cortez was trying to get her attention. He had to speak twice before his voice registered. "Where should I set us down?"

"Anywhere…wait, as close to the Crucible as you can." If Ashley and Liara had not followed Shepard inside, then they would be nearby.

No one knew for sure the effects of the Crucible on the Reapers. For all they knew, London could still have been swarming with Reaper ground forces. Miranda was the first out of the shuttle, followed closely by the doc and several armed sailors from the Normandy – with all the ship's remaining marines having gone with Shepard, Miranda had found herself with few options. With a Carnifex in her hand and a Tempest strapped to her thigh, she hadn't bothered with a hardsuit – only a shield generator.

Her determined strides faltered only moments from exiting the shuttle. The hand holding the pistol dropped limply to her side as she struggled to comprehend the scene in front of her. Miranda had known that the city was in ruins when she had seen it from the air, what she had not been able to see were the individual faces of suffering. Although the air was still punctuated with sporadic, jubilant shouts of victory, the bulk of the soldiers on the ground were too tired and shocked to do anything more than find a place to sit, to fall asleep…or to die. Miranda's legs eventually started walking again, if only to carry her as far as the body of a wounded asari. Her graceful form was hunched over her pain as she clutched at her side.

"I’m here to help," Miranda said gently. "Let me see." She prised the asari's hand away and discovered a wound that almost made her retch involuntarily. Simply from a cursory examination she knew that there was extensive internal damage. It seemed impossible that she was still conscious let alone alive.

"We won, didn't we?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"We sure as hell did." Miranda met her eyes and managed a reassuring smile. "And you're going to be just fine. We've got one of the best doctors in the Alliance on the ground with us."

After leaving the asari in Dr Chakwas' capable hands, Miranda stood on less than stable legs. As she studied her immediate environs, she was confronted with the stark reality that their hard work was only just beginning. There were no doubt hundreds if not thousands of troops in the same situation as the asari she had just examined. If they did not receive urgent medical care, they would die before the shouts of victory had faded. The delusion that Ash would simply be waiting for her, or that she could single-mindedly search the rubble for her with no regard for the situation, was shattered. Ash was one soldier – there were dozens who needed her help just within a small radius.

Miranda tapped into her comms and selected a broad-beam channel. "This is Miranda Lawson, acting Commander of the SSV _Normandy_. I am establishing a base of operations at my location. To all receiving units, please relay the message as you can - we require urgent supplies, medical personnel and shuttles for evac."

_I'm sorry, Ash. You'll have to find me._

* * *

 

"Fuuuuck!"

The single word conveyed the depth and extent of everything she felt. Her lips had barely moved to form the word. Instead it felt as though someone was pressing down on her chest, forcing air out of her mouth. Before she had even opened her eyes, her first thought was to reach for the canteen secured to her webbing. After what felt like an eternity fumbling around with stiff fingers, she finally accepted that it was no longer there.

When Ashley peeled back her eyelids, she found herself lying on her back staring up at a darkening sky that was lit orange by the glow of flames. Brilliantly bright ashes were falling from the sky. It was almost beautiful. She did not move for several minutes. It had very little to do with the view and everything to do with the fact that she was physically incapable of moving much more than her hands. There was no specific wound that she could feel, it just felt as though someone had used her body as a battering ram. The air was thick with an array of stenches – smoke, blood and something altogether unidentifiable that curdled the contents of her stomach.

Eventually Ash managed to lift her head. The Kuwashii visor that Shepard had given her before they shipped out suddenly fell forward off her head. The expensive kit was smashed beyond repair. She was staring at the pieces in her lap when she realised that she was not alone in her patch of rubble. Amidst the managed corpses of husks and Cannibals, her gaze found Liara's motionless body. Shrugging off all vestiges of pain, Ash lurched drunkenly forward and rolled the asari over. As she checked for a pulse, Ash also found crusted purple blood beneath Liara's nose and within her ears. Her skin was blotchy and pale.

"Come on, T'Soni," she whispered fiercely.

She gasped with relief when she finally found it, weak and erratic. As she gently cradled the limp form, Ashley tried to activate her comms. There was nothing in her earpiece, not even static. When she attempted to bring up her omni, the device spluttered and died after less than a second. Shit. Her gear was fried.

Simply standing up required every ounce of willpower she could muster. Even then it wasn't quite enough. Her body was on the verge of shutting down, requiring a string of expletives that would have put Shepard to shame before she could haul herself from her knees onto her feet. It was only half the battle.

"Let's get you some help," she promised as she hunkered down in front of Liara.

It felt as though she was trying to lift a Krogan as opposed to the slender asari. However, Ash grunted and strained until she had secured Liara over her shoulders with a firm grip around her legs and arms. It was only when Ash was struggling away from the Crucible that she realised she was probably walking away from the body of her best friend.

 _I'll see that she's alright, Skipper. I made a promise and I intend to keep it_ , Ash told herself as she walked – one stubborn foot after the other.

The sound of her own rasping breath in her ears eventually drove her to talk to herself.

"You know, Liara…" Ashley had to pause to draw in a breath. "I never did apologise for being such a bitch to you when you joined the _Normandy's_ crew. After Shepard dressed me down, I felt like shit and I changed my behaviour, but I never came to you to say I was sorry." She had started to wheeze slightly. Talking aloud wasn't helping her physically, but she needed it mentally. The words gave her something to focus on. "I didn't trust you, just like Wrex, Garrus, and Tali, but the truth also was…well, I was jealous." Ash almost stumbled, but she righted herself. "From the moment…you came on board…the Skipper was wrapped around your finger. Don't get me wrong, I never wanted her, not like that…but I did want her to notice me. C'mon...Sole Survivor of Akuze, first human Spectre…an actual bloody hero. I'd spent my career serving under semi-sadistic assholes…but to meet the Commander Shepard? Shit, I was done for…the worst case of hero worship you'd ever seen."

Ashley even managed a small grin at that point. It faltered a second later when she found her path blocked by what looked to be an entire building fallen that had toppled intact onto its side. She drew in a deep breath and started to walk around it.

"Shit…who'd have thought you'd be so goddamn heavy?" Another hard puff of air escaped her lips. She already felt ready to simply sit down and give up. "I need a fucking drink. God, if you help us out here then I promise I will tone down on my drinking and swearing, I fucking promise," she hissed through her clenched teeth. "Not gonna tone down the promiscuous sex though, cos…well, you've seen my girlfriend."

The conversation with herself faltered at that point as it became too difficult to maintain. Even an internal monologue soon descended into a rambling mess of sporadic words and images. It was all about putting one foot after the other. Especially as night began to descend with a vengeance

She didn't remember the exact moment at which she stumbled across the field station that had been set up to treat the wounded. One moment Liara's weight had finally driven her to her knees, and the next there were hands reaching for her, trying to take Liara from her grasp. Ash's first instinct was to resist. She'd carried Liara this far alone.

"Williams?"

A familiar face was hovering over her as spots started to appear at the edges of her vision. "Doc?"

Karin Chakwas managed a smile. "We can carry Liara aboard the _Normandy_. You can let her go now."

Ashley shook her head determinedly. "No…gonna carry her myself. I promised…Skip…"

 _{Normandy is incoming, doc!}_ Ash's ear piece suddenly crackled to life with Joker's welcome voice. _{Stand by for evac.}_

When she lifted her gaze toward the slate grey sky, Ash saw the slender, gracefully proportioned lines of the SSV Normandy descending. The ship was little more than a silhouette save for the brilliant light from its thrusters as it came in low, guided by Joker's expert touch. Although it was just a ship, she felt a measure of strength return to her legs. Ignoring Chakwas and the others trying to take Liara from her, Ash began moving toward the descending ramp.

"Almost home, Liara." She heard herself say the words, but she did not remember opening her mouth. Perhaps they were simply in her head.

The soles of her boots came into contact with the deck. Her footsteps sounded heavy and uncontrolled as she laboured up the slope. When arms reached out to help her, this time she gratefully accepted, letting two marines take so Liara's weight from her shoulders once she made it into the bowels of the ship. With the weight gone, she sank to her knees and then finally flopped onto her ass with an exhausted exhale.

"Nice to see that some of us can take a break."

Ash looked up at the sound of the familiar flanged voice. Garrus Vakarian was being stretchered aboard. Even from her position on the deck she could see that something was very wrong with his right leg. Still encased within his hardsuit, it was twisted at an unnatural angle. She also eventually realised that she was seeing a bone protruding from his thigh. After that, the grin on her face was decidedly forced.

"You're the one that's lying down, Garrus," Ashley replied, trying to keep her voice light.

His chuckle ended in a hacking cough. "You might want to let the Acting Commander know that you're in one piece. If you ask me, I think she might be worried about you."

Acting Comman-...Miranda? The exhaustion that had kept the marine pressed to the deck suddenly lifted. As the stretcher bearers carted Garrus away, Ash found enough strength to stand again. At the moment that she turned to look down the ramp, a single figure approached. Against the darkness, only a silhouette was visible. It was all Ash needed to know exactly who it was. While her own legs worked well enough to take several tottering steps forward, Miranda moved faster. She sobbed with relief as her raven-haired lover sprinted up the ramp. Miranda threw herself forward without a trace of reservation. Ash caught a whiff of sweat and blood as she buried her nose in Miranda's hair. When their lips met, she tasted the sweat and blood but she didn't care.

Eventually they drew apart. Ash dragged her thumb across Miranda’s cheek.

"I think Shepard..." There was nothing Ash could do to finish the sentence.

Miranda responded with a short, sharp sniff. She couldn't finish it either. "Liara?"

"I don't know," Ash admitted. "She burned herself out saving our lives. She's with Chakwas."

Suddenly Ash was frustrated that she was still encased in her hardsuit, denying her the contact she craved. She spent a few furious seconds stripping off one of her gloves so she could at least take Miranda's bare hand in her own. Miranda went a step further and lifted the hand to her cheek.

"Thank God, M," Ash whispered as her fingers traced patterns amidst the dirt on her lover's cheek. "I don't know what I would have done...if I lost..."

"I know, Ash. I know," Miranda's voice filled the silence that suddenly descended.

* * *

 

**SSV _Normandy_ SR-2**

"That did not happen," Tali murmured with barely concealed scepticism.

The quarian girl still looked weak and frail as she lay beneath the isolation pod in _Normandy's_ medbay. However, with her mask removed, Garrus could see the smile that flitted across her lips. Her voice also sounded a great deal stronger. His hand stroked hers gently through the plastic glove in the side of the pod. It was all the contact they were permitted.

"The implausibility alone would be enough to throw doubt on your story…but I know you Garrus Vakarian, and you would not admit to having your spiny butt saved by someone you referred to last week as showing less emotion than a turian undertaker."

"The part about the turian undertaker is still true, but the guy's alright, Tali." Garrus shrugged. He shifted on the chair in an effort to get into a more comfortable position. "When that blasted brute smashed my leg, I thought my number was well and truly up. His ugly mug was so close to my face, I swear I could smell the Krogan he'd eaten for breakfast. The next thing his head snapped back at an unnatural angle and I was staring at an even uglier mug with four eyes. Javik then have the nerve to ask why I felt it was a good time to rest. The Prothean bastard really has to work on his humour."

"How is your leg?" Tali tried to crane her neck at an angle where she could see beyond the sterile plastic of her pod, but she could not lift her head far enough.

Garrus stared down at the long limb sticking out at an awkward angle in front of him. When the brute had caught him with the glancing blow, it had shattered several of his bones. Only painstaking surgery had managed to knit them back together into a form that resembled his leg. The entire limb was supported by a carbon fibre brace that was screwed into his bones. Walking was torturously slow, even with a pair of crutches. However, with Dr Chakwas' efforts, he would eventually regain something close to full usage.

"It's just fine," Garrus eventually replied. "I would have been fully capable of taking on that brute myself, I just thought it might be nice to at least leave a few hostiles for someone else to deal with for a change." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Not that Javik's ego needed stroking."

That drew another laugh from Tali. The musical noise dwindled quickly, but Garrus was pleased that they could still find something to laugh about together. No matter which way he shifted, he could not find a position that suited him, or at least one that kept his shattered leg from hurting like hell. When Tali's eyes started to droop from the sheer exhaustion of fighting the infections raging throughout her tiny body, he knew he'd kept her awake too long.

He gave her hand a quick squeeze through the plastic. It was a paltry gesture when he wished that he could take her in his arms and have her fall asleep against his chest. His heart swelled at the thought of watching her delicate eyelids flutter as she dreamed. That there was still something so precious still remaining in the Galaxy made everything feel as though it had been worthwhile…even though Garrus wished that one sacrifice did not have to be made. _Shepard_. He'd already told Tali of course. Alliance teams had scoured the wreckage of the Crucible but had detected no signs of life. It had only ever been the slimmest of chances. Garrus had seen the explosion that destroyed the device. He had felt the heat from the colossal explosions sear his skin. It sickened him, but he knew that all they would ever find of Shepard would be a trace...if that. It was the first time Garrus watched tears leak slowly from Tali's actual eyes and he could not even hold her.

A minute or so later the quarian's eyes slid closed and remained closed as her chest settled into an even rhythm. Garrus sighed. He'd wanted to spend hours talking to her to keep his mind off his own failure to remain with his squad. In the chaos of Harbinger's attack, he'd lost everyone save Javik. Shepard, Liara and Ashley were gone. It was only when he woke on the _Normandy_ when it was all over that he'd learned from Ashley what had happened. Garrus studied his sleeping love's face for a few moments. He lingered over her pale, almost translucent skin and wondered how a craggy old son of a bitch like him had managed to land an angel. Eventually he lifted his head and peered through the plastic to see the still sleeping form in the bed on the other side of Tali's pod. Liara lay curled on her side with her back to him. An IV line still delivered fluid to her body – she had been dangerously dehydrated in the wake of her biotic burnout. Garrus supposed it was a small mercy that she had slept throughout the past few days. However, she would have to wake eventually to a world in which Shepard was gone.

The door to the medbay opened. Garrus turned to find Ashley Williams. The LC wore a fresh uniform and the wound on her neck was dressed, but she looked to have had very little sleep. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, and her face was set into an expression of selfless determination reminiscent of their missing Commander. As a turian Garrus was impressed with the human woman's resilience, as a friend he was gravely concerned.

"Hey, Garrus." Ashley greeted him with a terse nod and barely a flicker of anything else.

"When was the last time you slept, Ash?" he asked in a blunt voice.

She shook her head stubbornly. "I'm not here for a grilling or a check-up."

"Who said anything about that? You look dead on your feet-" Garrus paused over the slip of words. He saw Ashley's expression waver for a moment. However, she quickly corrected it and slipped back into the role she thought was expected of her. "The _Normandy_ won't suddenly fall apart if you grab some sleep. You know Shepard put together a damn good crew."

Ashley's mouth tightened. "Yeah, she did. And sleep would be nothing short of fantastic, but I'm waiting on damn orders from Command. With the Crucible using the Mass Relays to disperse the attack against the Reapers throughout the Galaxy, Alliance boffins are worried they've been damaged somehow. Technicians have been sending out probes for the past day in an attempt to assess whether they can still support travel. As soon as we've got the all clear, the _Normandy_ will be shipping out to take the lead on assessing Galactic stability."

"I swear that man thinks he has a ship full of machines," Garrus commented acidly.

"That's unfair, Garrus." It was Lieutenant-Commander Williams the consummate soldier who replied and not the exhausted human. "Hackett knows exactly what he has – a still functional frigate with one of the best crews in the Galaxy. It's imperative that we obtain a Galaxy wide sitrep as soon as possible. A number of ships are on standby, not just us."

"And when will the crew have time to mourn?" Garrus demanded. His mandibles twitched as he struggled to keep his temper in check. He couldn't decide who he was angriest at – Hackett for being so ruthlessly efficient, Ashley for following orders without question or himself for wanting to give into the un-turian temptation to blow it all off so he could crawl into a deep, dark hole and weep.

The moment passed. He knew that the Galaxy needed that ruthless efficiency and unquestioning obedience if it was to arrest its downward slide into chaos. Over the coming weeks, months and years, it was all that would separate them from anarchy. However that did not mean he had to like it. He cast another glance toward Liara and his shoulders sagged a little.

"There will be time to mourn, Garrus," Ashley said mechanically. "But I think the best way to honour Shepard's memory is to carry on as she would have. The Commander would have-"

Garrus turned on the human woman too quickly, his stiff neck protested and he growled in pain and annoyance. "Had she survived you can damn well bet that Shepard wouldn't be strutting around the _Normandy_ as though she had a sniper rifle up her damn arse. We both know that Shepard would tell Hackett to go to hell, at least until she'd had time to celebrate…and to spend hours in the arms of the asari she loved." Drawing a deep breath, Garrus turned back to stare at Tali. The quarian had started snoring softly. "Orders are one thing, but celebrating what we've saved is infinitely more important. Go tell Miranda how much you love her, Ash. Spend a few hours in her arms. The Galaxy isn't going anywhere."

Before Ashley could reply, adversely or otherwise, they were both startled by a swift movement from the biobed at the end of the medbay. Liara sat up, seemingly unfazed by her location or the IV inserted in her arm. She calmly drew it out, steadied herself for a few moments and then swung her legs to the floor. A sharp intake of breath was her sole admission of pain as she put pressure on her wounded leg. Her friends could only watch in disbelief as she limped past them with her gaze downcast.

"Liara," Ashley whispered. She extended a hand towards the asari, pressing a hand lightly to her arm. "You shouldn't be up so quickly. Let me get Dr Chakwas for you."

"I've slept long enough." Liara's voice was hollow. "The Broker network will urgently need my attention. I have to take stock, consolidate what resources there are remaining and direct them to critical projects."

Ashley's fingers brushed against Liara's skin but she did not make an attempt to hold her as she walked past. It was not until Ashley realised that she was serious in her intent to return to work that she started after her.

"Ash," Garrus said in a firm voice. "Let her go."

Torn between taking the turian's advice and following Liara, Ashley paused on the threshold of the medbay. She watched Liara slowly make her way across the deck towards her quarters, still clad in the paper medical gown.

"Perhaps you are right," Ashley admitted slowly. "I was there when she lost Shepard last time...after the Collector attack. I tried to help her and she broke two of my ribs when she slammed me up against a wall. I think it might be best to give her some time…and space. EDI?"

_{Yes, Lieutenant-Commander Williams?}_

"Can you monitor, Dr T'Soni for me? Log her movements around the ship. Inform me if she does anything out of the ordinary. Try not to be…intrusive."

_{Understood}_

"Look after that leg, Garrus…and your girl," Ashley said as she continued out the door. "And thanks for the advice."

"Don't mention it, Ash," Garrus replied.

Ashley allowed herself a few moments to ensure Liara made it into her quarters, then she headed for the elevator. She briefly considering taking Garrus' advice and getting EDI to locate Miranda for her. However she remembered that Daniels and Donnelly had requested an urgent appointment to brief her on the state of _Normandy's_ propulsion systems which had been damaged extensively. With a sigh, she stepped into the elevator and hit the button to take her to Engineering.

* * *

 

When she was deep in thought, Sam Traynor tended to purse her lips together and scrunch her nose up. Most of the time she did not even realise she was doing it, especially not when she was poised on the brink of victory. Her fingers darted out to hover above her bishop for a few seconds before she committed herself to the move.

"Check," she said quietly.

Sam lifted her gaze to watch as the young woman sitting on the other side of the table considered her response. Lucy Park studied the board through her right eye only. Even Dr Chakwas' considerable talents had been unable to save the left. The wound was hidden beneath a thick gauze pad. Lucy had several weeks of healing ahead before an artificial replacement could be fitted. She glanced up unexpectedly and caught Sam staring at her. The exchange last all of a second before Sam found a fascinating mark to stare at on the table. Seeing such wounds – Lucy's missing eye, Garrus's shattered leg – served to remind Sam that her own wound was trivial in comparison. She had a sore arm…Commander Shepard was dead. Sam's gaze drifted to the wide windows of the observation deck and she stared at the lazy drift of the stars. A few moments later she let out a ragged breath.

"Sam?"

The quiet word drew her attention back inside the room. Lucy was looking at her expectantly and Sam realised that her mind had wandered off into a world of own thoughts. "Sorry," she said quickly.

"Don't be, I was just conceding defeat," Lucy admitted as she nodded her head toward the board. "Even though your mind seems to be elsewhere, you've still managed to kick my butt fairly convincingly."

It was so gentle it was barely even an admonishment, nevertheless Sam's cheeks warmed with embarrassment. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I'm the one that asked you to play and I'm not even-"

"Sam," Lucy interrupted kindly. "I really don't mind. Regardless of whether or not you were concentrating, I've enjoyed the game. It was exceptionally kind of you to offer to keep me company, especially when you've probably got a million more important duties to attend to. It just means that I'm a hell of a lot worse at chess than I thought I was."

Sam smiled. Between dwelling on everything that had happened over the past few days and staring at Lucy, it felt good to actually do something that felt normal. "It just feels surreal," she eventually offered. She glanced around at the neutral décor of the Normandy's observation lounge and almost felt as though she could convince herself that she had not just lived through a brutal war. "Playing chess when the Galaxy is in pieces, when the Commander is…"

Her voice trailed off awkwardly. After all that Lucy had been through inside the Crucible, she did not need to be reminded what had happened to Shepard. Sam glanced at the time and saw with an odd combination of disappointment and relief that it was almost time for the watch to change. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to bugger off without giving you the opportunity for a rematch. Will you be okay in here?"

Lucy nodded quickly. "More than okay. I'm not sure why I have this entire room to myself." It was almost larger than the tiny apartment she had shared with Susannah in Vancouver – at least during the times when they were actually together. "Are you sure they don't want to put me in a cargo hold somewhere? I'm not even part of the Normandy's crew."

"You were with Shepard at the end." Sam paused by the door and gave the Lieutenant a sad smile. "You're definitely one of us."

It was Sam's first return to duty since the Day of Days. Given that the _Normandy_ was currently in a holding position in Earth's orbit, the CIC was subdued. Although there was a high volume of comms traffic filtering through the _Normandy's_ QEC, Sam could disregard most of it. A large proportion of the incoming messages were concerned with Lucy Park. Various news outlets and Alliance High Command all demanded an update on her condition. Miranda had given Sam permission to deny all requests until Lucy had recovered her strength. It was an order that Sam carried out with relish. The Specialist was grateful that they were not throwing the Lieutenant to the wolves. Although she had managed to convince herself that it was solely out of concern for Lucy's health, the underlying fact was that Sam enjoyed her company. Whenever she closed her eyes, she relived the frenzied minutes in the Kodiak just prior to the Crucible's firing and destruction. Starting with her astonishment when she and Cortez had found the tiny, helpless figure clinging to the side of the Crucible. In the moments that followed, Sam had opened the shuttle door and beckoned for Lucy to jump. For the first time that day her fear was replaced by a sense of purpose. It annoyingly returned moments later as she clung to the woman she had just rescued while Cortez struggled to keep the shuttle from being picked up and thrown earthwards. Sam couldn't be entirely sure, but she thought she remembered screaming at some stage. The memories that were clearer in her mind were the warmth of Lucy's body in her arms, the faint fragrance in her hair and the oddly arousing aroma of sweat.

While dwelling on arousing aromas, Sam continued typing out an urgent staccato as she denied permission for an interview to yet another extranet news agency. She continued for several minutes before her pent up frustration finally erupted in a violent hiss.

"She's been through hell." Sam hadn't intended to give actual voice to her thoughts, but she needed to remind herself just how bloody pathetic she was. Lucy needed a friend, nothing more. She certainly didn't need the attentions of someone whose last crush was an A.I.

"Would you listen to me for a minute!" An angry outburst drew Sam's attention away from her own thoughts. She turned to see Miranda and Ashley emerge from the security alcove behind her. "You didn't even try to argue your case!"

"What the fuck was I supposed to say, Ash?" Miranda demanded as the arguing pair pulled up short just beyond the door. "Was I supposed to tell an Alliance Admiral that he was wrong in not giving command of the _Normandy_ to a former terrorist?"

"No! Shepard gave you the command…Shepard trusted you. If that's not good enough for Hackett then-"

Ashley managed to cut herself at an abrupt hiss from Miranda. When Sam risked a quick glance over her shoulder, she saw both women glaring at her as though _she_ was the one in the wrong place. Not wanting to risk the wrath of a pair of formidable women, Sam returned to her work – ensuring that she appeared very industrious with some rapid, entirely aimless typing.

"You deserve the command," Miranda continued. Her voice was so quiet Sam had to strain in order to eavesdrop. "You seem to forget that you're Spectre…just as she was."

"I'm not half the soldier she was," Ashley conceded. Her voice was louder than Miranda's, as though she did not care about being overheard. Her sigh was even loud enough for Sam to hear. "I miss her, M. I keep expecting to see her down every corridor – looking like shit in her busted armour, with that godawful haircut she let Liara-" Ashley's voice cut out mid-sentence.

Sam heard nothing further until a sharp sob half a minute later ended just as abruptly.

"Ash-" Miranda began.

"You didn't see Liara when she woke up," Ashley continued in a broken voice. "I know she survived, I carried her aboard the _Normandy_ myself…but she died down there. She's Shepard's bondmate...my friend...and I don't know what to do to help her…"

Sam cleared her throat awkwardly. Both women looked as though they had once again forgotten that the Specialist had even been standing at her own workstation. Ashley immediately squared her shoulders in an attempt to restore a sense of professionalism to her whole demeanour.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Sam offered tentatively.

"Why the hell not." Ashley shrugged.

"Lucy," Sam offered. When it became apparent that neither woman could interpret her limited explanation, she continued, "I think it might be good for Liara to speak with Lieutenant Park."

"Have you suddenly picked up a qualification in psychotherapy, Traynor?" Ashley demanded.

"I…um, no," Sam mumbled, her cheeks reddening.

"What Williams means to say is thank you for your suggestion, Traynor" Miranda added quickly. She turned on Ashley with a no-nonsense expression on her face. "Park was with Shepard...as difficult as it might be for her to listen, Liara has a right to hear it from the source first, before the whole goddamn story ends up on the news. And I think it might have the potential to help her. Agreed?"

Ashley nodded. "Agreed."

Miranda continued, "And you're going to hit your rack before I remind Chakwas that you haven't slept for thirty-eight hours. Understood?"

"With all due respect-" Ashley began.

With an arch of her perfectly formed eyebrow, Miranda cut Ashley off. She then turned and strode down the CIC towards the cockpit. She left both Ashley and Sam staring at her in her wake – both women equally embarrassed.

"I love that woman," Ashley said fiercely. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the rest of my life serving on the same ship as her." She turned to Sam and gave her a level stare. "Not a word of this conversation to anyone, Traynor. Got that?"

"Yes, ma'am," Sam replied quickly.

"Go speak with Park," Ashley continued. "See if she will agree to talk to Liara."

* * *

 

 _I wonder if I ought to have mentioned to Sam that I've never spoken with an asari before?_ Lucy thought as she paused at the door to Dr Liara T'Soni's office and quarters. She found the exotic race intimidating and fascinating for obvious reasons, but she had never placed herself in a situation where she had to talk to one. Now she found herself scant metres away from having to talk to Commander Shepard's…what did asari call it? _Her bondmate_. Sam had of course given her a brief induction, but the Specialist wasn't exactly the most adept at explaining some concepts given her penchant to babble and get side-tracked all too easily.

Lucy stood outside the door for a further five minutes before she eventually plucked up the courage to lift her knuckles and rap tentatively on the door. It was then that she realised there was actually a buzzer. She depressed this for a split second before jerking her hand away as though it burned.

Several minutes passed during which Lucy tried to convince herself to either knock again or simply walk away. She had chosen the latter when the door unexpectedly opened to reveal the space beyond. Lucy swallowed nervously and stepped inside. Her first impressions were that she had walked into some sort of extranet hub. A substantial bank of screens covered much of one wall. All were currently blurring in an array of motion that Lucy found dizzying, especially with only one eye from which to view them. Liara T'Soni was standing in front of the screens, a series of consoles were arranged within an arm's length. Lucy was somewhat surprised to find her wearing a well-worn hoodie and a pair of Navy-issue sweatpants.

"Um…Dr T'Soni?" Lucy ventured quietly. "I'm-"

"Park Soo-yeun, born 2161 in the city of Seoul, Asian continent…Earth, to Park Sung-hyo and Lee Joo-hyun." Although it was obvious that the Korean names were unfamiliar to Liara, Lucy was surprised to hear how gracefully they rolled off her tongue. "You changed your name to Lucy Park prior to attending university in Australia. Upon graduating you were invited to enlist with the Systems Alliance during a recruitment drive for Intelligence Officers. Married to Susannah Whitehead, Captain, SSV Tolstoy, Second Fleet - officially listed as KIA in the wake of the destruction of Arcturus Station-"

 _KIA._ At the back of her mind Lucy had stubbornly clung to the hope that Susannah had somehow managed to survive the obliteration of the Second Fleet. It had only ever been the remotest of pipe dreams, but it had been a dream nevertheless. To hear it confirmed in such a cold manner left her with tears burning her remaining eye as Liara continued deconstructing her life.

"-You served with the resistance during the Battle for Earth, before being evacuated and posted to the Crucible Project. I understand a great many things about you…" Liara finally turned to look Lucy in the eye. "What I do not understand is what the hell you were doing in the Crucible."

The statement took Lucy by surprise, not to mention the almost callous gaze she was being subjected to. The tears that had threatened to fall earlier, started to slip down her right cheek before she could get her emotions under control. However, for all her efforts to tell herself that Liara T'Soni was hurting, she could not accept that she deserved to be treated so coldly.

"I had permission from Rear Admiral…Shepard," Lucy said the name hurriedly in case just the mention of it earned the asari's ire. "The Specialist I was working with was killed during the Reaper attack, but somehow I survived. I was just trying to find a way out when I found Commander Shepard. She was badly wounded and struggling…but she insisted on carrying out her mission."

"Why was it you?" Liara demanded.

"I-I cannot answer that. I-I don't know why, Dr T'Soni," Lucy stammered. "I wish it hadn't…but it was me-"

"It should have been me!" Liara interrupted her with a savage yell, her biotics flared in tandem with her anger.

Liara's sudden, violent outburst left Lucy shaken and on the verge of fleeing from the room altogether. A few moments after the words had left her lips, the mass effect field surrounding her died and she collapsed to her knees with the dull thud. As Lucy watched, the asari's shoulders started to shake. It was a minute before she heard the first audible sobs – soft and yet racked with indescribable pain. Lucy hesitated before she went down onto one knee at Liara's side. Tentatively she extended her hand until it was resting around her shoulders in an attempt at comfort. Lucy thought it a pathetic gesture until Liara sagged against her.

"I am so sorry, Lucy Park," Liara whispered through choked sobs. "Speaking to you in such a manner…frightening you like that, it was cruel and unforgivable."

"No, I forgive you…and I understand," Lucy offered in a whisper. "Had someone offered me the chance to be in the cockpit with my wife...at the end, I would have accepted it with both hands."

As she spoke, Lucy slowly grew accustomed to the warm body in her arms. Liara T'Soni no longer felt like a complete stranger. She extended both arms around her slender shoulders in a fierce embrace.

"Was Evan in pain at the end?" Liara asked quietly.

 _Evan?_ Lucy realised that she had never known Shepard's first name. Torn between the desire to be utterly truthful and the desire to protect Shepard's lover, Lucy hesitated. "Yes…she was," she admitted slowly. That piercing scream still echoed in her head whenever she tried to sleep.

"Goddess," Liara sobbed. "I cannot do this again…I cannot contemplate a future…not without her."

"Dr T'Soni…" Lucy could no longer hold back her own tears. _Shit, what am I supposed to say? What would I tell myself?_ She fought to at least preserve some cohesion to her voice, but it was almost ruined when she continued. "Commander Shepard…she was driven by the thought that you would live…if those were Susannah's last thoughts, then you would be damned sure that I would live, for her memory if nothing else."

* * *

 

**London, Earth**

A little over one month after the Day of Days, two people stood in the blackened streets of London near the pile of rubble that had once been the Crucible. Some attempts had been made to begin the long process of clearing the debris, but rebuilding efforts were in their infancy. Providing food, shelter and protection to the survivors was humanity's priority – much as it was across countless worlds throughout the Galaxy. Only one concession had been made for a piece of work that was not directly related to the humanitarian effort. A single slab of stone sat at the centre of what had once been a park – recognisable now only by a lone bench which had survived unscathed. A few clumps of bright green grass rising bravely from the mud hinted at a future that involved children playing and couples strolling.

Ashley Williams tilted her face towards the sky. She closed her eyes and let the light patter of rain play against her already damp cheeks. Although she knew that the Commander had not believed in the existence of a higher power, it was as though the heavens themselves were weeping all the same. When she opened her eyes, she walked toward the stone. Although she already knew what the bronze plaque said, she ran her fingers lightly over the pithy words.

_In memory of E.H Shepard, Commander, SSV Normandy_

The Alliance brass had wanted something more elaborate of course. Something with the word 'hero' involved, something that Shepard would have hated. _The Shepard, they’ve started calling her,_ Ashley thought with a slight wince. She could imagine Shepard's response – 'like fuck they are!' Ashley tried to smile but everything hurt just a little too much.

A private memorial ceremony had been held an hour earlier. There had been just a few additions beyond the crew of the _Normandy_ – Admirals Anderson and Hackett, Hannah Shepard and Lucy Park. Anderson had made brief speech – consisting of a few anecdotes which had brought laughter to an otherwise grim setting, and more heartfelt words which had driven most to tears. It had been simple, devoid of pageantry and hollow flattery – exactly like the woman herself. The presence of Shepard's mother had caused some interest amongst the _Normandy_ crew – none, save Liara, had met her, but most knew of the tension between mother and daughter. Ashley had found the elder Shepard to be nothing but respectful. She had circulated amongst the entire crew, learning the names of the men and women her daughter had served with. Ashley could also not help but notice the heavy air of regret that hung over the elder Shepard.

Those that had gathered had slowly filtered away and eventually only Ashley and Miranda were left standing in the rain. Both women existed in companionable silence as they stared at the simple plaque. As well as time for reflection, it provided them both with rare moments of peace in an otherwise chaotic world. A great many changes had taken place within such a short space of time as the various races struggled to find their footing in the new world.

On a more personal scale, Miranda had made the decision to leave the _Normandy_. Ashley had responded with resentful anger initially, but she had eventually come to understand that it was the best course of action. As gratifying as it was to be able to tumble into each other's arms at the end of a long shift and fuck each other into a contented sleep, Alliance High Command's deep-seated misgivings about the former Cerberus Operative meant that it was an uncomfortable arrangement. As talented and resourceful as she was, Miranda would have no difficulty in applying her skills to good use over the coming months and years. She had even hinted that she would enlist in the Alliance merely as a form of saying 'fuck you' to her detractors.

"It's going to be dark soon," Miranda eventually spoke.

Ashley nodded. The grey skies already made it difficult to see the lone figure standing in the distance. "Do you think I should go and get her?" she asked indecisively.

"It might be a good idea. I think it will be cold tonight. You know she'd stand there all night if you left her." Miranda shivered slightly even though she wore a jacket over her clothes. "I think it would be best if I wait here."

With a last reassuring touch from her lover, Ashley started out across the same broken ground that she had crossed a month earlier. Although nothing was shooting at her this time, she nevertheless found the journey almost as difficult. The collar of her dress blues chaffed at her neck and she pulled apart the top two buttons as she walked.

The lone figure gradually became more distinct as she approached. Liara stood with her back to her, quietly contemplating the broken and twisted ruins of the Crucible in front of her. Ashley did not need to be reminded just how brutal the explosion that had destroyed the Crucible had been. She had seen it for her own eyes. However, it was evident in the fact that the rubble in front of her bore almost no resemblance to the device that had defeated the Reapers. Ashley could not bring herself to cast her gaze over to her right where much of the skeletal remains of Harbinger still lay. She knew that Alliance teams had carefully been picking over the dead Reaper, dismantling and studying its technology, but Harbinger, along with all of the colossal Reaper corpses, still sent violent shivers down her spine.

Ashley placed her boots deliberately to avoid ending up being pinned in a mass effect field if she startled Liara. She eventually judged that she was close enough and stopped, observing in silence. Liara wore a close fitting black suit and jacket trimmed in blue. Ashley wasn't sure whether the asari had made a conscious decision to hold to human funerary traditions or if it suited her mood to wear black. Eventually she looked over her shoulder, although only to the point where she could see Ashley out of the corner of her eye.

"Hello, Commander Williams," Liara said quietly – her voice lingered over Ashley's new rank.

"Hey, Liara." Ashley lowered her gaze uncomfortably. It was difficult enough to be given command of the Normandy, then Hackett had seen fit to promote her as well. _Spectre…Commander…the_ Normandy _, why do I feel as though I want to abandon all of it just so I can stop comparing myself to her?_

Ashley wasn't sure what else she could say or exactly what it was that Liara needed to hear at that point in time. Liara had missed most of Admiral Anderson's speech when she had wandered off in the direction of the Crucible. She cut a lonely figure throughout the service whenever Ashley's gaze had wandered.

"Have you come to fetch me?" Liara asked pointedly as she turned her gaze back to the Crucible.

"Well, not exactly…but Miranda and I were worried. She thought perhaps you might stand here all night given the chance," Ashley admitted honestly.

Liara sighed and shook her head. "Every night I fall asleep in Evan's bed despite the fact that the time where I could catch a trace of her scent has long since passed. Sometimes when I wake I can trick myself into thinking that she has just woken and slipped out without waking me, but more often I wake feeling cold and alone. Her clothes smell like they're mine because I wear them…not her. I thought that perhaps in being here I would be able to feel something of her again…but there is nothing…only the emptiness of death."

"Liara…" Ashley's voice trailed off. What was she supposed to offer in return? Empty platitudes?

"I am leaving the _Normandy_ , Ashley," Liara announced as she turned around. "I thought at first that the decision would be difficult, but I find myself with a sense of acceptance. I know the ship was Shepard's home…but I cannot linger there like some relic-"

"You're not a relic!" Ashley protested passionately. "You're part of the _Normandy's_ crew…and I damn well need you."

A sad smile crossed Liara's face. "You will have Garrus, Tali…Sam…Joker – EDI to keep everyone in line. The _Normandy_ has a very fine crew without me. And besides, it is about time that the commanding officer of the _Normandy_ was able to move into the Captain's quarters."

"You know I don't care about living in the Nest," Ashley muttered. In all truth, it was the last thing she wanted. The observation lounge suited her fine. Now that Miranda was also leaving, she had no desire for such a large space all to herself. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Ashley offered. "There must be something I can do? Something I can say to change your mind? To fix things."

"I am not broken," the asari replied evenly. "I just need to find somewhere, a place where I can stop trying to hold onto physical memories of Evan that are no longer there. Somewhere quiet where I can enjoy the elements of her I still have." A ghost of a smile crossed her lips at some memory, however it faded quickly. "Somewhere I can grieve alone."

 


	36. Exit Wounds

**  
** **Omega, Sahrabarik**

"This is...murder," the dead man gasped.

"That's right. Cold-blooded murder," Aria T'Loak sneered. Venom dripped from her every word. "No less than you deserve."

Liara watched the steady drip of blood from her fingertips. Her senses were heightened to the extreme where she heard each drop hit the deck with a dull plop. It pooled steadily at her feet. The blood was rich and extremely red. It was the blood of the countless faceless Cerberus remnants that she had slaughtered as she carved her way across Omega. She could see it glistening on the black combat suit she wore. She felt it caked on her face and built up beneath her fingernails. The metallic tang lined the inside of her mouth and its stench was all she could smell. It was almost as though there was nothing left in the world except blood.

A part of her heard the struggles of the dying man behind her, but she did not turn and try to stop what was happening. Petrovsky had ceased being able to beg for his life. Liara was inured to last desperate attempts to gasp a breath. When she finally heard the sickening snap of the Cerberus General’s neck, her sole concession to sympathy was a slight twitch of her right eye. A heavy thud followed several seconds later as the body hit the deck. Liara did not bother turning around. She had seen enough dead bodies to last several asari lifetimes.

Heavy footsteps approached from behind and still she did not turn. Eventually vice-like fingers wrapped around her upper arm and whirled her around. Liara stared into the eyes of Aria T'Loak and saw her own bloody face reflected the cold, hard depths.

When the Queen of Omega surged forward and claimed her lips in an unexpected, harsh kiss, Liara found herself responding with savage instincts. For a few desperate, hungry seconds she felt something other than grief beneath the bruise inducing pressure of Aria's lips. It was the same way she had felt only a few minutes earlier as she slammed into her last victim and ripped his throat apart with her bare hands. Through the haze that surrounded her, Liara eventually realised that it was nothing more than desire born of violence. With a cry torn from the back of her throat, she lashed out with her biotics and hurled Aria backwards. The other asari slammed hard into the console behind her. The field had been strong but Aria's reaction was to peel back her lips and laugh with pure delight.

"You surprise me, Liara T'Soni," Aria commented in a pleased tone. She licked her lips as though savouring the taste she found there. "I did not expect you to let me have the satisfaction of killing that bastard. I thought you'd make some heartfelt plea to spare his life."

"His life was not mine to spare." Liara did not want to engage in a discussion with Aria about why she had let her kill Oleg Petrovsky. In would only lead to the inevitable question - why had she not tried to stop Aria from killing the Cerberus general?

"Well, fuck, whatever." Aria shrugged. "I guess this is the part where I say thank you." The Queen of Omega had to grind her appreciation out through gritted teeth. "I would not have been able to do this without your help, Princess."

Liara felt a chill slither down her spine. Another asari had called her that. It already felt like a lifetime ago but still the false title gnawed at her tautly strung nerves. "Do not call me that. Unless you-"

"Unless you what?" Aria interrupted with a callous snort. "Surely you weren't about to threaten me, _Dr_ T'Soni? I thought you were supposed to be clever." When it became clear that Liara was not about to dignify her comment with a reply, Aria stepped forward and continued, "And here I was thinking that we were going to be the best of friends after all of this. Instead you turn back into a scowling little maiden who had just realised that she cannot always have her own way. If I thought it would help I'd throw you over this console and take you here and now."

"I would sooner fuck a Krogan," Liara replied in an inflexible tone. It was lie and Aria knew it. Her own desperate need both scared and enlivened her. She suddenly had the urge to strip of her clothing and throw herself beneath scalding hot water. She would scour herself clean until the water ran blue with her blood. "You are a vile individual, Aria T'Loak."

"Thank you!" Aria laughed contemptuously. The Queen of Omega spread her hands wide in a wild gesture. "I'm extremely curious…why the fuck did you help me reclaim my empire?"

Liara stared at the floor. Anywhere but at _her_. "Because this is what Shepard would have done."

"Bullshit!" Aria retorted. "Oh, I have no doubt that the revered Commander Shepard would have helped me take back Omega. It would have taken only a heartrending tale about the suffering of the citizens here and she would have come running. Goddess-damned bitch was always so fucking perfect. However, I know you have your own reasons, _Princess_." As Liara met her gaze, Aria taunted her to make good on her threat with a mocking expression. "And those reasons are not limited to getting a kick out of spilling Cerberus blood…although you did a hell of a lot of that. What do you want, Liara T'Soni?"

Liara tilted her chin up defiantly. She did not fear the Queen of Omega. "I want you to help me disappear," she admitted in an intense voice. Even Aria, as omniscient she believed herself to be, had no intimation that she was the Shadow Broker. Had the other asari been aware, she would have snorted at the incongruity of being asked such a favour. However, it was effortless for the Shadow Broker to disappear. That was not what Liara was asking Aria.

She wanted _Liara T'Soni_ to disappear.

* * *

 

**SSV Normandy SR-2**

_{Sam, it is against Alliance protocol to access ANN reports from your work station.}_

"EDI!" Sam hissed, anxiously glancing around in case other CIC personnel had overheard the warning. "My shift hasn't even started yet. It's Lucy's commendation ceremony, if I can't actually be there then the least I can do is watch it live at my station instead of on a crappy vid projection on my omni-tool."

_{I have noticed that your heart-rate increases markedly whenever you make mention of Lieutenant Park. Following extensive discussions with Jeff, I have arrived at the conclusion that you have romantic inclinations towards her}_ EDI said in her smooth voice. _{The probable conclusion is that you desire to have sex with her}_

"EDI!" Sam felt like crawling under a nearby console and hiding for a lengthy period…or taking a sledgehammer to the A.I core. The fact that EDI and Joker had discussed her love life, or rather lack of it, more extensively than she had was altogether mortifying. "Would you shut up…please?"

_{You are embarrassed, Sam?}_ EDI speculated.

"Of course I'm bloody well embarrassed!" Sam gasped.

_{Could you help me to understand the source of your embarrassment? Jeff stated that you and Lieutenant Park were both fans of Vaenia and it would therefore be inevitable that you entered into a sexual relationship. I myself have seen Vaenia but I found the preoccupation with close up views of-}_

"Shut up, EDI, shut the hell up…or god help me I will never speak to you again!" Sam finally snapped.

EDI did not reply for several seconds. When she did, her voice sounded decidedly subdued. { _I was under the impression that we were friends, Sam. If I have offended you, I apologise.}_

Sam scrubbed at her temples. She felt a headache coming on. "We are friends, EDI."

_{I have run scenarios…and have concluded that a possible way to atone for the offence would be to allow you to access the ANN feed. I could also scrub all evidence from your console}_ EDI suggested.

"That would be sweet of you, honestly," Sam replied. "But I don't think I should-"

Her protest was interrupted as the screen winked into life, immediately showing an impressive gathering of military personnel. Although the image was grainy at best, Sam could see that the precise formation of the men and women were incongruent with the war ravaged surroundings in the distance. The ANN reporter was delivering a voice-over, but Sam did not need to pay any attention to his words to know that Lucy Park was a hero. The camera zoomed in on the figures elevated above the rest of the gathered crowd. They looked to be standing at the top of a wide set of steps, the once proud building behind them was blackened and hollow. Sam immediately recognised the British Museum. It was a miracle that the columns across its façade were still standing.

"Thank you, EDI," Sam eventually said.

Lucy appeared exceptionally small amidst the distinguished company. Sam could only just make her out until the feed switched to a different camera and went to a close up. Lucy met the camera with a determined gaze consisting of her own dark brown eye and the unnerving pale silver of her artificial eye. Several faint scars still surrounded the socket, a lasting legacy of the wound that had claimed her eye. Sam thought it made the young woman appear both fragile and formidable at the same time.

When she had spoken to Lucy a few days earlier, just prior to the operation, she had expressed her disquiet about the ceremony. Lucy believed that for her to be singled out when so many had fought and died felt wrong. In response, Sam had offered her own simple thoughts in exchange. Humanity, and the Galaxy as a whole, was desperately in need of heroes of all shapes and sizes. The story of the unassuming Intel Officer who had helped Commander Shepard within the Crucible itself had caught the imagination of the survivors. Sam had then grown bold enough to express her hope that there would still be something left of her to share on a more personal level. Of course she had not expressed it in such poetic terms at the time. In her awkward, stunted sentences it took five minutes before she could get her point across.

" _Are…are you asking me out on a date, Specialist Traynor?" Lucy had asked with a nervous smile on her face._

" _Oh god no!" was Sam's spluttered response. "That wasn't what I was trying to…unless…you actually do want to go on a date? If it's even possible to date anymore. I mean, where would we go? A picnic amidst the rubble?"_

_Lucy had smiled shyly. "A picnic in the rubble sounds wonderful."_

Sam felt her cheeks warming at the memory. However, with the Normandy operating on the fringes of the Attican Traverse, it would likely be weeks until they returned to Earth. She had time to prepare before facing the actual reality of a date – conversation and, if everything went well, actual physical contact. Her cheeks burned even more fiercely.

_{Sam, you are perspiring. Do you feel ill?}_ EDI suddenly asked.

"Ah…no," Sam replied slowly. "It's just been a bloody long time since I kissed anyone."

"Do you need to practice? I no longer have a physical body, but I am sure Jeff would-"

"I'm sure he would too," Sam interrupted quickly. "But it's not really appropriate, EDI. It was sweet of you to offer his services."

It was then that she noticed that there was some sort of commotion at the ceremony. Sam's eyes narrowed as she strained to see what was happening near the back of the crowd. Suppressing her irritation that the view was no longer focused on Lucy, Sam watched the throngs of people part. While the actual noise from the crowd was difficult to hear over the poor feed, she thought she heard a roar of excitement start to grow. Eventually it became clear that one lone figure was pushing their way through the crowd towards the steps. ANN found a better angle, zooming in to show a tall, red-haired woman mounting the steps two at a time. Sam's first instinct was that Lucy was in some sort of danger, however this was completely dispelled only seconds later when the two women embraced fiercely. Although Sam couldn't hear what they were saying, she saw the unmistakable track of tears down Lucy's cheeks as the camera focused directly on their faces. She heard another roar of approval as their lips met in a passionate kiss. It was then that Sam realised who the red-haired young woman was. _Susannah_. A soft sob left her lips – it was born of an odd combination of elation and despair at seeing the reunion. A part of her was overjoyed that Lucy's wife was alive…and yet she felt devastated beyond words.

Sam's shoulders sagged and her fingers darted out toward the interface. With an abrupt movement, she cut off the feed.

_{Sam-}_

"Just don't EDI…just don't," Sam said quietly.

_{Traynor, are you there?}_

The voice of Commander Williams pierced her despair and Sam's eyes widened when she realised she was supposed to be on duty. Her comms relief on the watch prior had picked up a distress call from the MSV _Steinbeck_ – a freighter carrying agricultural supplies. Ashley had changed course to intercept. With no further response from the damaged vessel, the Commander was leading a small boarding party.

"I'm here, ma'am," Sam said quickly, mortified by the fact that she had not been paying attention.

_{We're about to go in}_ Ashley continued.

"Aye-aye, comms standing by."

Relieved to have something to do, Sam pushed the images she'd seen to the back of her mind as she directed all of her attention toward the small squad about to board the MSV _Steinbeck_. In six hours, when her shift ended, then she could curl up in her bunk and have a bloody good cry.

* * *

 

**MSV Steinbeck**

Docked alongside the sleek SSV _Normandy_ , the battered freighter looked like nothing more than a piece of space trash. Commander Ashley Williams checked the Valkyrie in her hands as the airlock created a vacuum tight seal. She glanced across the tube to her squadmates. Garrus gave her a casual nod while Tali was too preoccupied with running scans on her omni-tool to offer a response. Both appeared relaxed in the apparently effortless pose adopted by soldiers trying to seem nonchalant in the tense wait before the start of yet another mission. _Another day in the marine core_ , Ashley thought as a sudden, urgent hiss indicated that the seal was almost ready. _Hoo fucking rah._

_{Commander, my sensors are detecting anomalies in the vessel's fusion plant}_ EDI informed her. Ashley thought she detected a sense of urgency in her otherwise emotionless voice. _{They are currently fluctuating within acceptable levels, nevertheless it seems…odd}_

Ashley raised an eyebrow at the nuances within the A.I's voice. "EDI, are you trying to tell me that you have a hunch?"

_{Affirmative, Commander}_ EDI replied as though this was not a particularly momentous occurrence. _{I will monitor the levels and inform you if they move outside of normal parameters}_

"I don't know whether to be proud or nervous," Ashley commented on the A.I's development. She took position in preparation for the airlock to open. She tried to focus on the mission at hand, but she found her mind wandering to the fact that she had not spoken with Miranda in over a week. There was nothing wrong with galactic wide comms, they'd just been too damn busy with their respective lives to find the time to talk. As reluctant as she was to admit it, she missed the ex-Cerberus Operative fiercely. "Right, we're not mucking around here, guys," Ashley said, injecting an element of authority into her tired voice. "We don't have time to delve into what happened on the Steinbeck, our main priority is to find whoever activated that distress signal, and get them the hell off this ship-"

"I could attempt to stabilise the fusion plant," Tali suggested. "It might be easier to search for survivors without the threat of the whole ship going boom hanging over our heads."

Ashley paused and considered her options. "Negative, I'm not splitting the squad. EDI will keep an eye on the levels - one bar out of range and we're getting the hell off the ship. I'm not risking the Normandy for the crew of one freighter."

The green light winked on in the docking tube and Ashley lifted her Valkyrie out of instinct. As soon as the airlock opened, she was struck by a wave of heat carrying with it the odour of death and decay. The smell was so foul it was almost gag-inducing.

"Damn, that is bad," she muttered, pressing her gloved fist to her mouth in an effort to keep some of her breakfast in her stomach.

However when she glanced over her shoulder to confirm that Garrus and Tali were in position behind her, she was annoyed to find that neither displayed such extreme reactions. The environmental controls on Tali's suit were filtering out the noisome stench while the turian's sense of smell was warped at best. Whatever had happened on the MSV _Steinbeck_ , it had kicked up one hell of a stink.

The layout of the small Kowloon class freighter brought back memories from several years earlier. The Normandy SR-1 did not seem to be able to travel more than a few thousand light years without running into some distress beacon or an unidentified hulk floating in space. A small shiver ran down Ashley's spine, more often than not those vessels were crawling with mercs, terrorists or goddamn husks. She could rule live husks out of the equation, but Ashley had to expect the threat of other hostiles. There was something odd about the whole encounter other than the leaking fusion drives - the sudden activation of the distress signal for one. Ashley knew that this region of space was relatively stable in the wake of the War. Pirates and mercs weren't interested because there was very little of value in the system.

"Neither of the life pods have been deployed," Garrus observed as they passed the standard life-saving gear, one on each side of the narrow corridor. "It's possible the crew is still on board."

"Agreed," Ashley said in a tight voice.

"How's your other half doing?" Garrus asked as he picked his way over a pile of fallen kit. He poked at it with the toe of his boot. It was mostly clothing, with a few books and photographs.

Ashley glanced over her shoulder. "Wouldn't know, I haven't spoken to M for over a week," she muttered. She had not intended to sound so bitter about their lack of communication.

"It's understandable," Garrus replied. "When I went through boot we had about six hours downtime each day, and that was supposed to include sleep!"

"You're a turian," Tali added as though that made all the difference.

"Focus on the mission." It wasn't the conversation that Ashley wanted to be having at that point in time. "And Garrus…she's not my other half." _I don't know what she is, but 'other half' sounds too fucking possessive._ Miranda was definitely not the sort of woman to be possessed by anyone.

With the fetid small still clogging her nostrils, Ashley paused at the first junction of the freighter's transposable compartments, both doors were shut. She signalled to Garrus and Tali to take the door on the right, while she checked the left. At least the whole scenario offered the prospect of kicking down a few doors if nothing else. Ashley paused before planting her boot squarely in the middle of the door. The sound reverberated around the small living module as she surged forward with the Valkyrie jammed hard against her shoulder.

"Clear!" Garrus' shout barely registered as Ashley froze in place, the muzzle of her Valkyrie falling. "Oh my god," the whisper seemed to tremble from her lips.

Before Ashley could react in any other way, the food that had rebelled in her stomach at the first hint of the air inside the _Steinbeck_ suddenly came up. Ashley pitched forward as the runny, powdered eggs and toast that she had not enjoyed eating in the first place were violently expelled from her stomach. She remained doubled over, dry-heaving several times before she could bring herself under control.

"Ash-" Tali's concerned cry was cut short when she pulled up behind the Commander. "Keelah!"

"Shit," was Garrus' succinct observation. However that one small word conveyed as much horror as Ashley's explosive gastrotechnics. He reached out a hand to place it gently on her back as Tali hesitantly moved forward. "Ash…are you okay?"

The gobs of pale, regurgitated food plastered on the deck in front of her were all Ashley was aware of for several moments. When she realised exactly what had happened, she straightened quickly and responded with a curt nod in Garrus' direction. She forced herself to join Tali in studying the body strung up at the front of the compartment.

"Human, female, approximately twenty-two years old," Tali said in a breathless voice. "Cause of death…" Her voice faded. It was all too obvious what the cause of death had been – no further explanation was needed. "Time of death, forty-eight hours ago."

The young woman had been strung up by her wrists from a hook in the ceiling and eviscerated. The floor at their feet was covered in dried blood which had drained from her body. Ashley drew her attention away from the wounds and studied her face. Her expression in death spoke volumes where she could not. Her eyes were still open, still staring at the monster that had did this to her, her teeth were peeled back from her lips as though she was still trying to scream. No…death had not come quickly.

"We search the rest of the ship," Ashley ordered in a hollow voice. _You vomited, Williams_ , she thought in disgust. _You're a damn Alliance marine and you vomited at the sight of a dead body._ "Weapons at the ready, whoever or whatever did this could still be on board."

A part of her already knew that the young woman was not alone. Records showed that the freighter had carried a crew of twelve. The Normandy squad found all twelve butchered in a similar fashion to the first. _Is this what our civilisation has descended to?_ the marine asked herself as she made her way out of another compartment. Although Ashley knew that this was so far an isolated case, she could not help but believe that such savagery was all too easy to perpetuate. The Alliance and their allies were spread too thin, with too many preoccupations to worry about the disappearance of a small freighter carrying agricultural supplies.

"Normandy, this is Commander Williams. There are no survivors, we are en route back to the ship." _Then I'm going to blow this piece of hell sky high._

"Hey, Ash," Garrus had reached the cockpit first. "You might want to take a look at this first."

The Steinbeck's Captain was still strapped into his chair. However most of his blood was plastered across the window in front of him. It took several seconds to realise that the splatters actually spelt out a message.

"Vengeance for the 300,000," Ashley read the crudely written words.

"What does that mean?" Tali asked quietly. The young quarian had carried out her duties in a subdued manner, much as had all three of them. She had said very little throughout. As Ashley and Garrus stared at the message, she dumped the ship's logs into her omni-tool. "I don't understand how we picked up possible life signs. All of the crew are accounted for…and they're all dead," she ruminated sadly.

Ashley shook her head. "I don't know," she replied. There was a foul, acidic taste in her mouth and she badly needed a drink. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here."

All three of them were on their way out of the ship when Ashley caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye. The shadow darted behind some crates in the main cargo hanger and was gone. As Garrus and Tali pushed ahead, she lingered for a moment.

_{Commander Williams, the activity within the vessel's fusion plant has increased by twenty percent over the last five seconds}_ EDI informed her suddenly _{The best course of action would be to vacate the ship immediately}_

"Understood. Garrus, Tali, back to the airlock," Ashley ordered. "I'm right behind you."

Neither of her squadmates appreciated that she was lingering on the off chance that she had not been seeing things. She kept her Valkyrie pressed lightly against her shoulder as she advanced through the maze of supply crates.

"Is anyone there?" Ashley felt ridiculous even asking. _The crew are dead. Are you going to risk your life for what is probably the ship's cat or a fucking pyjak?"_

Nevertheless, something compelled her to push forward. At this point the footsteps of both her squadmates had faded from earshot. All she could hear over the blood pounding between her ears was the insistent tone of EDI's warnings as the fusion plant further destabilised. There was another flash, although this time Ashley caught the distance shape of small human limbs and the flow of long, blonde hair. _God no, a kid!_

"Hey!" Ashley yelled desperately. She broke into a run as she darted through the crates. The young girl eventually disappeared into a narrow gap between a stack of supplies and the ship's bulkhead. No doubt she was terrified of the strangers with guns. Ashley slid to her knees in front of the gap and caught a glimpse of a pair of eyes wide with fright. "My name is Commander Williams," she said in a gentle voice fraught with strain. "I'm a soldier here to help. Please come with me?" Ashley pleaded desperately, but there was no movement from the child. She peered into the shadows and tried to keep her expression and her voice calm. "You've got to come out, sweetie."

When she received no response whatsoever, she began struggling to push the crates away from the bulkhead so she could reach in and drag the kid out.

_{Commander, the reactions within the Steinbeck's propulsion systems have reached critical levels. According to my calculations, the structural casing will lose integrity within two point five minutes. If the Normandy is caught in the explosion-}_

"Godammit, you don't need to tell me, EDI!" Ashley snapped, straining against the crates. Even with pushing herself to point where she could feel the veins throbbing at her temples, Ashley know she didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of shifting the crates. _Make a choice, Williams or you're going to die here and take the entire Normandy with you…_

"Garrus, Tali, get yourselves back on board the _Normandy_ ," Ashley hissed through gritted teeth.

_{We're coming back-}_

"Belay that, soldier! Get off the ship, that's a goddamn order!" Ashley yelled. "I'll use one of the pods." It was a terrible plan, but it was the best she could come up with in the circumstances. "Fuck…move goddammit or I'll see that both of you are court-martialled for disobeyed a direct order!"

Then suddenly the crate was moving. With a slight screech of protest created by the friction between the crates and the deck, the weight finally started to shift. As soon as the gap was wide enough, Ashley held up her fist to call a halt on their efforts. She hunkered down at the opening so she could reach inside and drag the kid out.

Ashley's blood went cold when she saw the little girl's mouth open and teeth bared. Her small shoulders were shaking in a strange, jerky motion. Feeling as though she was going to vomit again, Ashley knew that the kid was laughing at her. It was only then that she noticed that the girl's skin was an odd shade of green, her eyes were cold and lifeless. Ashley saw the unmistakable flicker of light beneath her skin and realised that it was not a kid at all, it was a goddamn V.I. The fake girl continued to laugh at her even as she scrambled backwards.

"Fuck," Ashley whispered. _I've screwed up, M_ , she thought with the sickening realisation that she had run out of time.

She hauled herself to her feet only for a sudden wall of flame and heat to strike her from the side. With a grunt, Ashley was thrown clear across the compartment. Her helmet struck the side of a crate with a sickening crunch and her limp body crashed to the deck.

* * *

 

**London, Earth**

Black grime covered the handkerchief when David Codrington finished wiping the sweat off his forehead. He debated as to whether he should throw away what was now essentially a scrap of rag. However he paused when he ran his thumb over his initials stitched into the bottom corner. Amanda had always said he could never hold onto a handkerchief for more than a week due to his propensity to lose them. This one he'd carried with him for the past seven months – throughout the hell of war and what followed. In all truth, rebuilding was only a few steps removed from hell. The work was both backbreaking and heart-breaking, but nothing was shooting at him and he knew what he was doing. His sense of pride in his work was all that kept him going. Amanda and the kids…they were long gone. Codrington gently folded the handkerchief and tucked it back into the pocket of his overalls.

He stepped out of the harsh sun and into the welcome shade offered by the marquee they were using as their base of operations. He frowned when he saw an unfamiliar face standing next to his second in charge, Hardy. The stranger wore an Alliance uniform. Codrington was hardly surprised that the military were keeping tabs on their operation. After all, they were dealing with water – one of the most precious commodities around.

"Dave, mate," Hardy called him over. "This here's Cap'n Prowse. Come to keep tabs on us lot he has."

"I wouldn't say 'keep tabs' as such," Prowse protested. "More like a progress report. I don't need to remind you gentlemen of the importance of restoring water to central London. The supply from the north is sporadic and demand far exceeds supply."

Codrington waved the Alliance man over to the large table set up in the middle of the marquee. "As you're no doubt aware, most of London's reservoirs were taken out during the initial attack due to their proximity to Heathrow. The entire area was smashed. However we've got the underground supply at Honor Oak intact. Repairs to the pumping stations here…and here are nearing completion. Our one hold up is the piping running through this area, here."

"See, our first thought was to go round it like," Hardy chimed in. "But we don't got the raw materials or the lads to do the work."

Codrington nodded in agreement. "Which means carving straight through. Unfortunately that area was severely damaged and it's been tough going."

All three men were suddenly interrupted by an urgent shout from outside the marquee. Codrington turned in time to see one of his grunts brush beneath the flap. "Dave, we've got a problem down in the new pump-out shaft…a blockage. Cooke's hurt, but not too bad."

He frowned. "Can't you sort it out, Durham?"

The man stubbornly shook his head. "I ain't sorting this out…it's…well, you need to see it for yourself."

_Fuck, just what I need at the same time that the bloody Alliance is here,_ Codrington thought. He grabbed his helmet and turned to Hardy. "Come on, Hardy. Captain Prowse, sir, we've got a brew going on the stove. Make yourself comfortable."

Codrington would have given his right arm for the sort of kit and machinery he'd had at his disposal before the war. However they had only a decades old tunnel boring machine and the sheer willpower of the men and women in his teams. It was a relief to descend into the depths of the tunnel, out of the heat. It wasn't necessary to switch on the lamp on his helmet as a series of lamps were strung up along the side of the tunnel.

He and Hardy followed Durham down the gentle slope of shaft D. The tunnel borer was halted up ahead and a small knot of people were clustered behind it. Cook was on the ground, her back pressed up against the side of the tunnel.

"Alright, Cooke?" Codrington asked.

"Fine, Dave." His crewmember nodded with a grimace. "Rex told me not to touch it but trust me not to listen. The damn thing burned straight through my glove. Hurts like hell but it's just skin."

One of their trained medics was tending to her hand, but he caught more than a glimpse of the blackened flesh. As his gang parted to allow him through, Codrington saw their rather ashen faces. His first instinct that it was a pit of bodies, as they'd come across while digging over in Battersea, but he did not understand Cooke's injured hand.

He rounded the bulky boring machine and his own face paled slightly. Slightly off to the left of the shaft was something other than the usual rock and mud, it was a barrier of sorts. Slightly blue and opaque, it appeared to be spherical in shape. However much of it was still buried in the tunnel debris. On a hunch, he turned to look at the piece of machinery behind him. Where the boring platform had come into contact with the barrier, it had been seared clean off.

"Christ! Don't touch it!" Hardy snapped when he saw that Codrington was approaching it cautiously.

"Didn't cross my mind." Codrington had seen what the barrier could do to flesh. He had absolutely no desire to touch it. However his eyes narrowed with strain as he thought he could make out some sort of mass lying within the sphere. "Hardy, start telling the guys to clear the hell out of here…it looks like some sort of weapon-"

Codrington's command faltered when the barrier suddenly came down, leaving a perfect indent of half a sphere in the debris around it. A limp shape tumbled downwards. Without thinking, Codrington surged forward instead of back. He extended his arms in time to catch the frail body of a young woman.

"Fuck," he whispered. "What the fuck is this?"

Although a part of him was screaming inside to be allowed to get the hell out of the tunnel, something about the body he cradled gave him a measure of reassurance. With his hand shaking uncontrollably he gently reached out and brushed a length of long dark hair away from her face. Her eyes were closed in the midst of an ashen face, eyelashes dark against pale cheeks. Even her lips were almost colourless. Codrington thought with an ache that she was dead, until her body twitched. He then noticed the almost imperceptible rise and fall of her chest. Without wanting to move her, he searched for any sign of wounds. The pale skin stretched across almost emaciated limbs was perfectly unblemished save for an odd crystalline growth covering her lower left arm. When he gingerly reached out to touch it, he found it to be icy cold.

"Bloody 'ell, Dave, the lass is starkers," Hardy whispered above him.

Codrington glanced up at the other man. "I think the real question is what the hell is she doing in my tunnel?"

Hardy hunkered down beside him. His sharp eyes picked out the gleam of metal around her neck. Gingerly he reached for the narrow chain. A gentle clink of metal of metal sounded as he drew it toward him. Both men's eyes widened when they eventually saw a pair of dog tags. Although her body was unmarked, the tags were blackened and covered in grime. Hardy carefully scratched at the embossed lettering with his thumbnail. Codrington looked up sharply when he heard a sharp intake of breath between the man's teeth.

"Jesus H. Christ," Hardy whispered as he cradled the battered tags almost reverently in his grubby fist. "It's Commander bleedin' Shepard."

**_FIN_ **

* * *

 

Well, it feels distinctly odd to write this, but that's the end of _Catalyst of Fate_.

I'd like to extend most humble and grateful thanks to everyone who has managed to put up with my version of the ME-verse long enough to read the whole damn thing. To those who have offered encouragement along the way, you all rock. I'm not sure what you're going to take away from it, but for me it's been a hell of a ride. I loved the characters after playing the games, but writing CoF has further enhanced my appreciation for this universe and made me fall head over heels in love with my crazy little family. If you've managed to reach the end, do drop me a line and let me know what you thought of my manic ravings.

If you want more of the same, check out the sequel – _Architect of Fate_.   


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